Ray Winstone: Grief, Imposter Syndrome & Head-Butting Directors | Men's Health UK
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- Опубліковано 7 бер 2024
- Welcome to 'Head Strong', a new video series created by Men’s Health.
Hosted by John ‘Fenners’ Fendley, each episode explores a spectrum of emotions and experiences, including grief, depression, anger, imposter syndrome, fatherhood and the grave issue of suicide.
In our first episode, we’re talking to Hollywood actor and star of Guy Ritchie’s new series The Gentlemen, Ray Winstone.
The East Londoner, who also appears in fantasy film Damsel alongside Mille Bobby Brown, opens up about the impact losing his mother to cancer had on him, inverted snobbery and how he’s never truly felt accepted in the arts.
Fenners, who’s been very open about his own mental health, shares his stories on depression, the taboo topic of antidepressants and how he still feels, at 54, like a boy when surrounded by large groups of men.
The two also touch on snooker balls in socks, imposter syndrome and why Winstone once head butted a director on set...
‘We’re all built on things that have happened in our lives, depressions and the moments that are hard to live with,’ says Winstone. ‘The loss of someone - everyone who is telling the truth will know something about what we’re talking about now.’
Our mission is to help people who find it challenging to speak about their struggles, encouraging them to join the conversation and recognise they are not alone. If you like this episode, let us know in the comments and if you want to listen only, you can catch 'Head Strong' on all major podcast platforms.
Men's Health Multiplatform Director: Rob Hicks
Producer: Chelia Batkin
Production Manager: Megan Blackburn
Head of Programming, Site and Social: Charlie Atkin
Director of Video: Greg Adams
DOP: Scott Drummond
Camera Assistant: Ben Bregman
Sound Operator: James Wyatt
Editor: Paul Frankl
Additional Editing: Luke Baker
Hair and Make-up: Carol Morley
Location: Regency Cafe
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I lost my mum when she was 47. I was 21. I didn't cry for a while but one day I heard this strange sound like someone was wailing. It took me a few seconds to realise it was me. Never heard anything like it before I cried for hours. I still haven't been the same since. I'm 52 now. I've gone through some dark times. I really enjoyed this little chat. Much love to you from Canning town.
Thanks for sharing. I understand grief only too well. I wish you happiness.
YOU WERE IN SHOCK !,,,,I LOST MY ONLY SON AND THE SAME HAPPENED TO MYSELF THE GREIF WAS UNBEARABLE THIS DIDNT KICK IN FOR 6 MONTHS AFTER .I CRY EVERY DAY SINCE AND THIS WAS 7YRS AGO …ILL NEVER BE THE SAME AND YES I ALSO HAD DARK TIMES ..LOVE TO YOU ALANTYRELL ❤️
trauma does weird things
escaping from your body.....
Thoughts are with u pal. Lost my mam at 20. Nothing was ever the same, 37 now still fks me up
Too young sympathies mate, phew where do i start, lost a brother to Aids aged 34 in 1998 he was born on 21st July , then my Son aged 31 just 3 yrs ago died on that same day 21st july, then my older brother who is Rays generation & old Skool hard bastard who i idolised growing up,took his life or so the Toxic report outcome suggested as cause of death & how i knew he had gone as i saw it coming, you guessed it 21st july 2023 & my mum 2 month's later, we never got to my Son in time in his hour of need, we missed his calls so he had died before we got to see him, my older brother never got over his death nor my mum, all 3 lived in the same house so in the space of 3 yrs all have died & the house is empty, one of the hardest things to do was go to clear the house, as it had been left like there'd just popped out to the shops etc, we moved into it which was new in 1969 & the only family that had lived there, all my memories are there & I'm not one to visit a grave & felt more close to my mum, Dad, 2 brothers & Son etc when there as it had been our house all those yrs ,56 in total, only council house so had to give up & from an old neighbour still there just told recently that somebody else has moved in, it's killing me as i still see it as Home, life can be hard, i have had to pick myself up off the floor & very nearly went down, when you need to cry let it out as it does no good to bottle up, I'm strong mentally, had to be, but it's a test of character, Never let anything beat you , refuse to be beat, WEST HAM, down the rd from Canning Town 👍⚒
I didn't realise I had depression until one day in work I was walking across the workyard and judt burst into tears. I wasn't even thinking of anything in particular at the time, but I think it was my mind and body needing to let it out. Real men cry folks, it's nothing to be ashamed of brothers.
It was the Job mate. Get out of it if you can.
This Is top draw, there should be more of these Mens Mental health podcasts, watching shows like this literally save Mens lives, Im a recovering Cocaine Addict im 216 days clean and I turned to drugs as a coping mechanism when my mum had cancer and my Grandfather died. In my recovery I watch 3/4 of these podcasts a week , there my therapy. Thank you for these, keep making them x
❤❤❤
My mum also has cancer we found out last year, she’s finished her chemotherapy now and she’s doing ok minus some side effects but it’s still so hard to deal with. Wishing you and family all the best
Standing alongside you all the way my friend .... Best wishes 😊❤
Lost my mum to cancer when I was 15. Dad died last year with dementia. I’m very lucky and very grateful they were in my life. ‘Tide and time wait for no man’ or woman…
My granddaughter worked on a recent film with Ray and found him to be a generous actor, great company and always a gentleman. Thank you Ray for helping her and encouraging her aspirations.
A man like Ray openly discussing emotions is a good thing for all men.
Especially with all the fucked up bullshit male influencers
Great conversation from two top gents. Unfortunately I've been there myself at times and occasionally still do. It is hard to talk but fellas, we must 💙
❤
This interview was 90 minutes too short in my opinion. Could have watched and listened to these two for hours. Both guys are legends in my eyes.
Who doesnt love Ray Winstone. Great interview
Nobody
Yep something wrong if you don’t love ray 🙏
One of the most iconic living British male actors, Michael Caine is the only 'bigger' one that comes to mind
@@MrTommygun1979 agreed. I wasnt sure about Michael Caine but in my opinion as hes got older hes got better, in particular, his role as Harry Brown was awesome
I don't, it all started when I was an assistant director and I picked him up to move him.....
What a great conversation between two real guys
When my dad was close to passing at 93, i told him endlessly i loved him, kissed his head often, he never told me he loved me but he didnt need to as his actions all his life were enough. We held hands like shaking his hand constantly. My dad was my hero
Very similar how it ended with my old man,just sat sobbing Holding his hand telling him how much I loved him as I never had before.
Very important for
Men to confront their
Mental health issues!
If famous men do,
It really helps
Other men!
Great conversation this is basically a talk all guys should be having . It’s not weak it’s strength to open up
Bravo gentlemen, brave, honest and relatable, thank you.
I really love that Fenners is doing some important things now. With humour at times but not throw around stuff. Really great interview with Ray it was always going to be some honest stuff coming out. And well done Men’s Health for making this a decent length for UA-cam content. Won’t be the only time I watch this….
Had three very profound experiences within the last 12 months .... Id been watching something semi melancholic, and immediately felt this emotional surge develop where I knew the energy had to be released and that I was going to cry. 5 seconds later I'm crying quite uncontrollably, heavy sobbing .... And then what I can only describe as 3 stomach glugs, knots came up with each deep sob and then 20 seconds later everything subsided and I went back to how I was 45 seconds previous ... The lightness and happiness I felt immediately after told me somehow the universe had ridded me of whatever it was that needed to leave my body ... The second time was this time with both 1st and 3rd not as profound but every time it's happened, I've overwhelmingly had messages that something caused the sequence to occur where I was in perfect position with what I was viewing and ready to have the energy release ! ... It's really a beautiful time to accept and announce your frailties and vulnerabilities .... Until you do you'll be stuck in this phsycial skin suit .... Crying when the time comes, is a surefire way to help you ascend into a much higher intelligence through purification ❤
Real conversations between real people. Who doesn’t love a bit of RW. Thanks gentlemen x
Great to see people discussing mental health..I work as a teacher in a primary school, I'm always saying to the kids "speak to someone, don't keep it to yourself". I've battled with my own mental health issues, talking about it is crucial to understanding it and being able to get through each day ❤
Brilliant, genuine honest stuff. Deep down we're all the same - thanks gents!
Definitely related to both of these . Losing a parent takes a certain amount of Healing and time .
Fantastic, what a great pair of blokes and a great chat.
As someone with a record of depression in my family, my Grandfather committed suicide and my Father tried to, along with my own struggles with it, I understand that feeling. If you’re struggling with it, talk to someone, someone around cares and will listen, remember all things must pass and it will but seek help, you’ll be ok
and god bless.
Love this Fenners and Ray 👊🏼
Thankyou for putting this together…i really feel for Fenners and really feel like Ray…💙
Wonderful to hear an interviewer ask a question and then sit there with his mouth shut while it's answered
Bet 365...before I slitcha you fackin Caaaannnt!
What a fantastic conversation. All men need to talk more and open up to each other. It makes you feel better. Fact. And there's no weakness in feeling unwell. We're all just human.
Two absolute legends.
Great conversation, RayWinstone absolute legend.
Soul food. Thank you both 🙏🏻
One word. BRILLIANT
Brilliant watch/listen Fenners. Well done.x
Absolutely wonderful interview. Honest, heartwarming and I related to so much of what was said. Thank you.
A fantastic interview. Some of the things discussed here have affected me, and this has been tremendous help in understanding. Thank you both
RAY HAS MATURED WELL LOOKING VERY DISTINGUISHED WITH HIS NICELY GROOMED BEARD .ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT ACTOR AND HOW ID ALWAYS ADMIRE HIS OOZING CONFIDENCE .NEVER IN MILLION YEARS THOUGHT HE FELT ANY INSECURITIES AROUND PEOPLE WOW AS THIS IS SAME AS MY SELF .THIS HAS BUILT MY CONFIDENCE TO NO END ILL ALWAYS REMBER THIS …IF RAY FEELS LIKE THIS THEN EVERY HUMAN MUST ..I COULD HAVE LISTENED TO THIS CHAT FOR HOURS …ITS GOOD TO HEAR HE IS ENJOYING BENEFITS OF HIS HARD WORK RELAXING IN ITALY ..❤
Thank you guys. A very relatable conversation for a men of a certain age 😉 so honest and open. 👍🏻
Thoughtful and insightful discussion. Well done Gents.
I got emotional just watching this marvelous and open conversation... I'm nearly 60 now and one thing I've learned in this so so short life as a man is Never Ever be afraid to show/share your emotions... If you love someone "tell them"... If you wanna cuddle/hug someone eg your children or your life'partner then give them a cuddle/hug... Trust me "life is too short". Be truthful, be honest, be sincere... The world would be such a better place.!. Peace to everyone:-) BoingBoingBaggies.!.
Pure class.
Absolutely brilliant, need more of this...
I have a dad who we all lost but he's still alive and in touching distance unfortunately he doesn't want to know and hasn't for 15 years (4 kids) ..
And a mum who's in care at the age of 60 😢..
The struggles are real..but talking helps and in this case listening to how others deal with "problems"
"We plod on"
Good to hear this …..I am a mental health practitioner and it’s amazing for men to open up,,,,,,,need more of this
Brilliant talk, fellas! Thank you both. 👍😎🇮🇪
Very important conversation for men! Men really do need to have these conversations.
Bravo Fenner's - your a top bloke fella
Proper beautiful, beautiful words.
Stumbled across this , I’m a fan of ray and fenners, been watching it early this morning, cried like a baby. Mt dad passed away in 2017 Related to both their stories so much, but felt a lot better for it. Great interview .
You can see towards the end fenners is getting emotional , and that’s fine. I’m hooked let’s do more of this.
Fenners is a magnificent man, Winstone is too.
Really positive video highlighting the need to be honest and open about our feelings. One thing I would encourage Ray to do is to ditch advertising online gambling. He’s a powerful male role model and personally I’ve seen the catastrophic damage online gambling can cause; I’d much prefer to see him highlighting the dangers of gambling rather than promoting it.
Serious & genuine respect to you both for such a greatly insightful, open & honest conversation about topics that many of us face, issues & scenarios that makes us feel most alone & isolated, thank you so much... we need more of these videos for sure.
PS: A huge fan of your work too Ray, always awesome to watch. Thank you.
I love Ray Winstone. Brilliant actor. He made some really good Movies.
I m very lucky. My Mum is 91. My Dad is 93! They still go for short walks and all.
I visit them every day for an hour or two.☺ I am so happy I could burst!!!
Why did Johns Dad pop his Cork??
Love this lads, putting together a similar thing in work at the moment allowing guys to chew the fat on these types of discussions 👊
The gentleman is absolutely brilliant
Great job gentlemen
My dad died in 1978 when I was 14. I still miss him now and still cry over him
Both of you talking about your feelings, insecurities, imposter syndrome, overthinking, rejection sensitivity, etc... Sounds like ADHD to me! I was diagnosed 2 yrs ago & now 59!
Children before they're 10, grow up receiving 20,000 negative comments fired at them! Adhd brains mature 30% slower than neurotypical brains! Our neurodivergent brains are wired differently, kind of like the difference between Microsoft and Apple!
We also gravitate towards to like minded people! We don't do small talk, deep conversations are our thing, & that's why you both can talk like you have, & feel at ease doing it! The old ways of 'Men being Men' is a neurotypical mindset, & as proven over the years, 'stiff upper lip' business, doesn't help anybody!
Great conversation gents! 💞
Thanks 'Fenners' and Ray, this has helped me come to terms with feelings I have carried for years. I tried to interview myself looking in a mirror. My interview title was 'Solitude, Guilt Syndrome & Killing the Enemy'. I honestly can't say it's the complete answer, but it does feel like weight is being lifted off me. Thanks.
Walked past here 2 days ago. Love the interview at the Regency Cafe. I real working-class actor with class.
great to see Fenners back
Great conversation. We often think that whatever we are struggling with is unique to us...however, our struggles are often a common thing to each and everyone of us. The more we talk about this stuff the more we will be able to normalise and create some space for us to manage the struggles...
great guys..love you Ray..
lovely chat. for me crying is a great release and your thinking of the ones you have lost and how much you love them.Until we meet up again
Great video really enjoyed it thanks for sharing 👍
Great conversation. 👏🏻👏🏻
Ray absolute legend loved all over the world
Thanks for this honesty... From the heart and soul and on a personal level the timing of this is almost surreal, all the best to you. 🏴
Fenners and ray tremendous
We’re alright..that’s fkin true Mr Winston,,true words
We are we are,, that made me choke up.
Brilliant how a wee word hits,,god bless boys
Thanks Gents!
What a watch and what a cafe
Amazing I so glad I found this.big fan of both you guys from early days soccer am and scum 👊👊
Great talk about real life ❤
Great interview both of you ..
Fenners you need to get back on TV and Soccer AM !
A great interview with two wonderful men, and yes, my working class experience wasn’t one of depravation. I feel a lot of working class representation in the media is cliched. I’m the youngest of four. We had free school meals. All went to university. My sister a teacher, brother an actor, other brother a senior leader in public health. But you never see that story. Our house was immaculately kept and our bellies full.
Big respect to Mens Health for arranging this. The taboo of men talking about emotions because it is seen as weak, needs to be a thing of the past. As the statistics prove, this could save lives. I was never a big fan of Ray Winston. I have a new found respect for him now.
This man has to be one the best of all actors and Human being !!! Love Ray W and yes Sexy Beast and NIL By Mouth Has to be his greats imo love ya Ray x
Absolutely love ray ❤❤
Such an interesting conversation.
You a true gentleman
My brother died when I was 24, I'm 62 now but still have some bad days thinking about it!
Absolutely love Ray, met him when when he was filming Fox in the Kings Head in Tooting and he has never changed, the cockney accent has done well in the films over the years, ask pretend cockney Statham. As for me. Mum died, never cried, dad died never cried, and I still remember all the things I done wrong in my life back to when I was about 7. Mental health is seen by men as a weakness, which is my case was drilled into me by my dad. But still going (Just about) and Ray looks and talks like my Father in law, another East end geezer (Bermondsey). And I have been mistaken for him a few times since he put on the weight, kitchen fitter nearly shit himself when I pointed out a mistake LOL
Great stuff
Fantastic 👍👍
Great chat.xx
Ooh it so good to hear the men talk.talking is medication
£85 pound jacket & I love this Man.
I know a story between him & Ricky G.
Both legends.
What a lovely chat.
I am love Ray Winston
Thankyou
I lost my mum when I was 16. My hubby lost his dad when he was 15. We are both emotionally stunted and our trauma sets our emotional maturity at those ages. It's great fun for our kids. In times of stress, with the knowledge that you can lose the centre of your family suddenly, we focus on time together rather than being grown ups doing grown up things like chores. But I really recognise what Fenners is saying about feeling like the boy in a room of men; I think it's just about unresolved development of the relationship with your parent and not having the opportunity to grow through it, and have it evolve so that you become equals rather than it stopping suddenly whilst you're still a child and not yet a complete fully rounded adult..... Brain dump, sorry. Hugs to any and all folk feeling out of whack with the world.
And Ray, you're a cracking actor. Love your work, big time xx
Ray is the Bollox
Absolute class
'My Old Man' by Ian Dury is the soundtrack to my teenage years, died before we'd done much talking, all the best mate from your son!! ⚓🤝 COYI
Nice sentiment mate 👍
@@glennwest8041 Thanks. It was pivotal to my formative years and put me on a path that changed my life forever so out of adversity came endeavour.
@@grahambarber2766 COYI indeed ! There’s adversity but where’s the endeavour ? 😂
@@glennwest8041 A nod to my East London roots even though I was born in Millwall!!
@@grahambarber2766 Aghhh ! The enemy ! 😂
Life happens, bumps in the road along the way love, loss, wins, the more we sweep things under the rug the less of the room we will see. Always try to address any loss bereavements. I wish I could take my own advise at times.
Ray talking about his mum dying ! 👏 when my mum died exactly the same thing happened to me , i bottled it all up and then one moment made me let it all out , yes it was on a train talking to a stranger 🙈 but felt a lot better after . Tbh
Lost my Dad in 2008 and I still have a moment now and then. Then losing my Fiancée in December last year so mega stressful and empty and struggling 😢. PS Love Ray's Terrace Cult overshirt
Ray Winstone would make a great Uncle Albert
Ray looks cool , red shirt gray hat working for you Mr !
Great interview
What are winstons glasses
I kept expecting Ben Kingsley to walk in and shout 'ARE YOU GONNA DO THE JOB...YES OR NO?'
Loved Ray since Quadrophenia, Sexy Beast, Sweeny, and all others I can't recall with a hangover!!
Omg yes Sexy and the voice does it for me 😂😂😂😂
@@marylynch951sexy beast was a film
@@kawasakiaddiction6296
Ah OK was he in that film?
That Summer from 1979 is worth watching 👍
Genuine guy's NO BS carryon
What glasses brand is Ray wearing?
Anyone struggling. There is a way back . I watched my dad struggle fir 5 years with Alzheimer's before he passed away . I hit rock bottom. A strange feeling. It does get better . I,m now going from strength to strength. You are not alone . Reach out . ❤
Love Rays shirt …… possibly a nod to will Scarlett.