7 signs : 1) playing hot and cold. 2) confused with wat he wnts with u and with life in general. 3) confuses happiness with temporary pleasure 4) ambiguous with wat he wants, no long term vision with you. 5) his intensity & his words do not match. 6) he dsnt address the inconsistent behavior nor the disrespectful behavior. 7) does the bare minimum to keep you .
“When you’re important to another person, that person will always find a way to make time. No excuses. No lies. And no broken promises.” - This quote is exactly the point that you’re driving home in this video. But you break it down so beautifully with clear and concise examples. Thank you Bern!
Hi Zari, people are imperfect and will make some mistakes so the key is noticing when those happen as the norm rather than the exception. I'm glad you found this useful : )
Interesting… My wife was more than a treasure to me, I wish death never took her away from me 💔. I wonder what’s in the heart of men this days, it’s best to remain single if you aren’t ready for marriage/relationship than making a woman feel worthless. Great video 👍
Hi Richard, I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's passing. I feel that the process of grief and the new life you create for yourself will give you in time the ability to understand what you want and need and to go get it. Sending you many blessings.
I can say that woman should listen her feelings. How she feel with him...so that's her reality. If she feel confused, uncertain etc...so it's definitely not love from him. Love never let space for doubt.❤
These signs showed up in my marriage. It's not just about beginning relationships, it's about when you do go the distance with someone who is supposed to be a man but doesn't plan anything for his family
My rule in dating is i don't give second chances and i am celibate until after our wedding ! I tell them on the first date. They call me tough but this is how i keep my sanity and protect myself mentally emotionally physically and spiritually. Ladies you are worth more then rubies and diamonds. Do not allow dusties lower your value by playing games with you. Weed out the bad so you can enjoy your fruitful harvest at the end. Good luck to you single ladies and i wish you to meet your King by the end of 2021.👸🏻👸🏽👸👸🏼👸🏾
Hi , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
I totally agree with you. Self-respect is definitely high on my list. However, we just have to be careful with telling men about not sleeping with them until _____ because some men are very petty and will take it as a challenge. As soon as they get it, whatever the situation, they just bolt.
Based on my personal experience, INCONSISTENCY is one of the most obvious signs, aside from AMBIGUITY; and also most often, the words do not match the actions. Women who had failed relationships must not jump to the next man who is available, for emotional support. They must pray to God for guidance.
@@iamaleo247 Hi ❤️ I am wondering… 1st: if it’s ok to ask you a question? 🤪 … if so…here it is: you weren’t ready then… right? What makes the difference now? I hope that doesn’t come across too bitchy! I am honestly asking w/ love and light 💡 searching for answers and truth 🎉Thanks ❤️
@@katezadell6687: It’s ok to ask😆..... after being married for 22 years, I realized he was NEVER going to change. I had too much “hope” thinking the relationship would get better. I’m SO much happier now. No more dealing with B.S.
I dealt with a guy that did everyone of these signs for a few years. It was truly a rollercoaster ride. So glad I got off the ride and my mental and emotional health are still good. You must know your worth in order to get out of this unstable trap. Most of the time when the guy shows these signs he is in a relationship and he is trying to have you as his side chic.
Thank you all for your awesome replies 🙏 I have definitely cut him off, I have learned to value myself. I see my worth now, It took me four years to realized that I was being played and it took me 55 years to know my worth Perhaps because I grow up as an Orphan and never knew what a true love was. I always wanted to give more in hopes that someone could or would loved me. I feel really sad and ashamed to admit this as I am writing this words but it’s the absolutely true; how not knowing your worth can make you feel so lost in this world we go on in life accepting crumbs just because you don’t know what true love is and don’t know your true value in life. I’m truly great full for your time that you took to reply 🙏 Thank you 🙏 🙏❤️💕💜💖❤️
I didn’t know that because of my past trauma I was attracting these Narcs. Now I know all these years later. It’s so hurtful but I have to mentally move on.
I broke up with my ex because he treated me like a yoyo. He was nice. Cooked for me, gave me attention, slept at my house everyday but I had a feeling he was using me + was unsure because when I asked why he loved me, he became defensive + couldn't answer the question. His words never meet his actions. Before I moved, we spoke about getting an apt, he bailed + wouldn't speak about it, show up to the showings, or spoke about his financial obligations...but I found it weird he was at my apt everyday when he didnt want us to move in together. He wants me committed to him but has told me he can do what he wants. Ladies, he's 54. These males dont grow up. Dont allow any man to waste your time, use your gifts or use your body. Jesus said, don't throw your pearls to swine.
He needed a place to stay. He had free access to your love and your body and all the "feels" and "comfort" that comes with a relationship. He got commitment from you without having to offer any in return. All he had to do was show up and recieve! Don't be quick to move men in without real commitment. Seems like you are working backwards here and asking serious questions he cannot answer, while you assumed he is serious just because he "moved in." Always listen to your intuition babygirl (you know) ❤️
The guy I was dating or “Seeing” told me on our first conversation that he doesn’t plan things and I had no idea that, that was a red flag. It went right over my head.
All I want is pure love. If they can't be honest with their selves, better say they just wanna have fun. But who wants to say it when they just wanna play or fool you? Being broken hearted is difficult especially your intentions are pure. Thanks for this helpful content, Bern🙏🏵️🌸🌻 I wish everyone peace and love❤️
This is exactly how I feel right now. Like his yo-yo.” I’m ready 2 burst. I really don’t think this guy knows what he wants. I just know I’m not sticking around much longer. I’ve played this game way 2 long..
Hi Angela, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
I had a guy disappear the weekend of my bday. He knew it was my bday. Had been texting me almost daily for 3 months. That weekend falls off the face of the map. 4 days later tells me his cell phone battery quit working. Never apologized or said Happy bday. That was the end for me.
Yes helpful as always. I just ghost these types of boys. Waste of time! Know your worth ladies xx Inconsistency is frustrating but not necessary As women we need a lot more videos on boundaries xx
Hi , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Great video...im just realizing this...and i remove my self from this situation. Because i deserve better and to be treated like a Queen..so im definitely going to wait on the lord to send me the right King and he will be appreciate and have a good Queen on his side always no matter what.
Hi Sandra, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? I think I need a Queen in my lonely world, I miss being married. I think we both deserve to be happy
The person I'm dealing with now goes hot and cold on me, I'm sick of it and the sad part he'll be 51 in 4 months. Men say we're confusing! It's funny how we have all these videos for women on how to do this or that for men! This used to be men jumping through hoops for us, now we suppose to jump through hoops for them? I guess I'll just stay single.
I would run when you notice men playing hot to cold, it literally led me to depression and months later I'm still crawling my way out of it. Prior to this guy, I was happy and stable. Be careful with who you let in!
I am a 56 year old lady. I look after myself and have been single for over twenty years….I would rather stay alone than be with a wrong person…..I am sure i will meet my king one day. Thank you for the education…..
Bern Thank you so much for explaining all the points with examples and so warmly and kindly ✨ I am grateful to see this video and have more clarity regarding what’s happening and what’s perceived by my emotionally biased mind .. but also sad and disappointed that it happens so much every where or anywhere and the individuals who have these characteristics are consistently continuing to do so in their 50’s May the universe protect our genuine and sincere hearts and efforts always. it’s not about landing a partner.. sometimes it’s just a lot of trauma to process and we’re better off without any emotional and mental damage.
Hi Annette, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Yes I know a friend who he would ring late at night but non commital. He lived a long way away so he went nuts when she said I will fly down to see you. He didn't want that. All the excuses too busy and covid is still around. Then he ghosted her.
Hi Janice, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Bern you are absolutely spot on in this video. I care deeply for a man who has dealt with me in this manner for almost one year now. I know very little about him. I ask questions, direct questions. I sent him a letter telling him of the inconsistency behavior. I felt like you were speaking directly tome in this video. I recently told him we should be friends. I thought since it's almost been a year, he would try to fight for our connection. But no, he never does. Thank you for this video. ❤
Hi , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
I wish I had seen this before my now ex relationship of four years. He seemed very straightforward and did not play hot or cold but in hindsight it is clear that there were more subtle ways he played games. Ex: when after dating for a couple months I asked him what he thought about monogamy - he managed to deflect the question and not address our relationship status. It was awkward but I did not want to seem needy. I wish now I could accept that he was not stepping up. Another ex: he declared that he had gotten off of the dating app that we met on. What he failed to mention, and I found out later, was that he did not get off of other dating apps (which I was not on). I am a much more direct person when it comes to communication so from now on when someone deflects or I do not feel at liberty to ask a follow up question I will know that something is very off. Please do yourself a favor and do the same.
Hi Sunsita , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Did you mean intermittent reinforcement? I will have to study intermittent relationship if that is indeed what you meant - I’ve never come across this 🧐
I've been married for 26 years to a man who is very narcissistic and still does this kind of crap. Everything Bernardo has said is spot-on! Ladies leave before it's too late. He has mentally super glued my ass into position I'm trying to get out of now!!
Hi Jenny, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
This cliche line 'lets just flow with no expectations' is what got me here and when i go easy he be like 'why are you distant' like what donyou want really?
Great video.I knew someone who acted like this all the time I wasted years of my life waiting for him to make up his mind about me nedless to say he was a lair and had a relationship somewhere else.I was 21 so I was quite innocent but I learnt a lot now I cut them off if they start playing this kind of games.I learned my lesson.
Sad 2 say but these games are intentional. People know what they are doing trust me. Even if a guy doesn't know why hes doing it..he still knows hes doing it. I got caught in the trap of thinking he didn't know what he was doing, hes just emotionally unaware, hes just been hurt...yadda yadda yadda. Dont do that 2 yourself. There can also be 2much compassion for some1 is what I've learned. At the end of the day it wasn't any of those things. He just played games. The 1 thing I do know is that it had nothing 2 do with me. Thanks 4 the video
Hi Krystina, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Hi Nola, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
@@Nola5427 You are welcome Nola, I think you deserve more than a compliment😊 and yes I agree with you “my mom is indeed a wise woman”. Where are you from?
Hi Frances, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
Wow, I was really played! Humility and embarrassed at this is why I have not been with a man since. 8 years single now. Loved a narcissist who didn't care about me, just played me. Ouch
Hi Christine, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
He did everything right The consistency We were talking all the time on text, phone, video He was Planning dates Talking about being my boyfriend, he was all in bla bla bla What he wanted was aligned But then after we’ve been intimate … Ghosted So was he a player or just an avoidant who changed his mind?
I've always learned from the give-and-take of a new relationship. My most recent guy is 72, we've been "friends" for 17 years. We started out as "more than friends," where he gave me humor, candor, and pretty good sex. Now he gives criticism, cynicism and a cold attitude about sex. But the taking is even better: money, shelter and nursing care. Pfft! I'm done with this, all of it!
Hi Heather, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
Your videos are so valuable, insightful🙏🏻 I wish I would’ve come across this info years ago. It would’ve opened my eyes and saved me from heartache after heartache. Never too late I guess…
He was to busy or not feeling well and never had any time....So confusing 😕 never initiated contact but would text back immediately. Promised to call and never did I ended this now he doesn't have to worry about me...
Ive heard your videos before and started listening again I just wanted to leave a comment to say you are an excellent communicator in every way. I dont know your own story how you know so much. I do want to wish you a wonderful holiday and many blessings to you and your family. 🙏❤️💫
Hi Debbie, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
All the 7 signs that u told are true. I'm in this "game relationship" for past 8 years. Few years back, somebody told me that the person I'm dealing, they are cheating on me. But because his aura too strong for me. I just ignore what i've been told about this person. Until last month, somebody told me that the person I was dealing actually have someone else n he actually playing games on me. I say to myself, its not true. Its impossible that he cheated on me for last 8 yrs. But now I realize the hot n cold relationship was too strong on cold for past a year. He only chat me 1,2 times only a year. And that comes to my common sense right now. Right now, I'm on healing myself. Thank you God for link me to your channel. What's this person do, align with all the 7 tricks.
I have watched sooo many videos to try to understand why a guy comes on like gangbusters and then disappears only to show back up days, weeks, even months later as if we had been communicating regularly. You and only you have helped me understand. Thank you!! Perhaps now, I will be able to move on earlier and not sit in limbo waiting for the next text.
I think let the guy show who he is and what he wants whether he is serious or not , without telling him to be more consistent.Hi might will step up and become more consistent for a little while to prove that he can, but it wont last for a long a long time, cause it wasn’t his idea, he was just doing what was told to do
Wow! You’ve just described the WOMAN that dropped me when I wanted her to commit. I’d share this with her but don’t think it would make a difference after 5 months of trying to get into her life. Thanks
Hi Annie, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
My ex would literally loose interest in being interested in me when I showed any normal human care...So I had to let go of that "relationship" as he obviously did not understand that sex and emotions go together.
@@christianpulisic7784 No clue ehat handouts is and I don't correspond with gmail. Truth, ppl can read our conversations and I am not seeking dating or anything of that matter. Ty though 4 the interest.
Protecting yourself is natural, the more you learn to trust in yourself and your capacity to set healthy boundaries, the more you can step by step start trusting again.
@@homiekeen23 Hi , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
If, at the start, the individual is inconsistent and does nothing to address inconsistencies in his behaviour, then it would be a definite indication he is not serious about you,
Impressive :-) Thanks a lot. Love your coaching cause i have improved tremendously in the last 8 months. I will support you to reach the one million followers and more. Thanks again.
Thank you, this just answered a lot about what just happened to me this week. Guy came over for dinner, all sudden he left gave a peck kiss and said I will call....never has called...all games...
Forgiving him isn't a problem, continuing to believe him if he's repeatedly shown you he's not available, is. Get some help, good therapy works. Support groups also work and they are free.
Hi Audrey, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Get My Free Training: bit.ly/my-dating-cure-training
Thank you for this video Bern!!! This is huge for me because it confirms everything I questioned and felt weird about!! 🙂💜🙏
BM: “Right now if he shows up like that - “No, thank you from you” “ 😀😀🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank u for your video.. I impressed 👏👌 u give me more ideas about
Thank you!!
How would I tell a man that I won’t see or text them again because I think they are playing me??
@@springfauna1465 ľn NV BBC Mgr
7 signs :
1) playing hot and cold.
2) confused with wat he wnts with u and with life in general.
3) confuses happiness with temporary pleasure
4) ambiguous with wat he wants, no long term vision with you.
5) his intensity & his words do not match.
6) he dsnt address the inconsistent behavior nor the disrespectful behavior.
7) does the bare minimum to keep you .
Poor spelling. Good points.
What. Want's. Doesn't.
Sounds right like what I went through
@@lizzlester1792 🤣🤣
Agreed.Lack of maturity.
“When you’re important to another person, that person will always find a way to make time. No excuses. No lies. And no broken promises.” - This quote is exactly the point that you’re driving home in this video. But you break it down so beautifully with clear and concise examples. Thank you Bern!
Hi Zari, people are imperfect and will make some mistakes so the key is noticing when those happen as the norm rather than the exception. I'm glad you found this useful : )
@@BernMendez excellent point.
Thank you Bern you make it sound so easy to work that out !!!
Zari: Yep, well said!
M
Interesting… My wife was more than a treasure to me, I wish death never took her away from me 💔. I wonder what’s in the heart of men this days, it’s best to remain single if you aren’t ready for marriage/relationship than making a woman feel worthless. Great video 👍
Some women these days too are the problem . They enforce themselves on guys who don't even want them
Yes… I think it’s individual differences, it’s nice meeting you here… Where are you from?
I wish more men had your attitude. And... I'm sorry you lost your beloved...sending you positive intentions. All my best to you.
Hi Richard, I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's passing. I feel that the process of grief and the new life you create for yourself will give you in time the ability to understand what you want and need and to go get it. Sending you many blessings.
@@energywithgraceandlight1344 Thank you for your condolences, it’s nice meeting you here
I can say that woman should listen her feelings. How she feel with him...so that's her reality. If she feel confused, uncertain etc...so it's definitely not love from him. Love never let space for doubt.❤
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯👏👏👏👏👏👏👏😙😙😙😙
Crying
These signs showed up in my marriage. It's not just about beginning relationships, it's about when you do go the distance with someone who is supposed to be a man but doesn't plan anything for his family
Same! 20 years and he did ALL of this on and off throughout.
Divorced now.
@joelleis Same- In a Narcissist marriage for nearly 25 yrs. Thank you JESUS I am happily divorced.
My rule in dating is i don't give second chances and i am celibate until after our wedding !
I tell them on the first date.
They call me tough but this is how i keep my sanity and protect myself mentally emotionally physically and spiritually.
Ladies you are worth more then rubies and diamonds.
Do not allow dusties lower your value by playing games with you.
Weed out the bad so you can enjoy your fruitful harvest at the end.
Good luck to you single ladies and i wish you to meet your King by the end of 2021.👸🏻👸🏽👸👸🏼👸🏾
Hi , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
No second chances. I'm with you
I totally agree with you. Self-respect is definitely high on my list. However, we just have to be careful with telling men about not sleeping with them until _____ because some men are very petty and will take it as a challenge. As soon as they get it, whatever the situation, they just bolt.
Well said
@@GoFlau_ Yep, they see it as a dare, so I keep that quiet unless asked.
Yep, hot and cold. Intermittent reinforcement through inconsistency. Creates anxiety.
Based on my personal experience, INCONSISTENCY is one of the most obvious signs, aside from AMBIGUITY; and also most often, the words do not match the actions. Women who had failed relationships must not jump to the next man who is available, for emotional support. They must pray to God for guidance.
INCONSISTENT ACTIONS ARE CONSISTENT ANSWERS!!!
Wish I realized this 20 years ago.🙄
@@iamaleo247
Hi ❤️ I am wondering… 1st: if it’s ok to ask you a question? 🤪 … if so…here it is: you weren’t ready then… right? What makes the difference now? I hope that doesn’t come across too bitchy! I am honestly asking w/ love and light 💡 searching for answers and truth 🎉Thanks ❤️
@@katezadell6687 um....
If she knew 20yrs ago she wouldn't of been a slave to man that didn't deserve he.
@@katezadell6687: It’s ok to ask😆..... after being married for 22 years, I realized he was NEVER going to change. I had too much “hope” thinking the relationship would get better. I’m SO much happier now.
No more dealing with B.S.
YESSSssssss
I dealt with a guy that did everyone of these signs for a few years. It was truly a rollercoaster ride. So glad I got off the ride and my mental and emotional health are still good. You must know your worth in order to get out of this unstable trap. Most of the time when the guy shows these signs he is in a relationship and he is trying to have you as his side chic.
Thank you all for your awesome replies 🙏
I have definitely cut him off, I have learned to value myself. I see my worth now, It took me four years to realized that I was being played and it took me 55 years to know my worth Perhaps because I grow up as an Orphan and never knew what a true love was. I always wanted to give more in hopes that someone could or would loved me. I feel really sad and ashamed to admit this as I am writing this words but it’s the absolutely true; how not knowing your worth can make you feel so lost in this world we go on in life accepting crumbs just because you don’t know what true love is and don’t know your true value in life. I’m truly great full for your time that you took to reply 🙏
Thank you 🙏 🙏❤️💕💜💖❤️
I didn’t know that because of my past trauma I was attracting these Narcs. Now I know all these years later. It’s so hurtful but I have to mentally move on.
This man is so honest and is talking about real things..💚 Thank you.
I broke up with my ex because he treated me like a yoyo. He was nice. Cooked for me, gave me attention, slept at my house everyday but I had a feeling he was using me + was unsure because when I asked why he loved me, he became defensive + couldn't answer the question. His words never meet his actions. Before I moved, we spoke about getting an apt, he bailed + wouldn't speak about it, show up to the showings, or spoke about his financial obligations...but I found it weird he was at my apt everyday when he didnt want us to move in together.
He wants me committed to him but has told me he can do what he wants.
Ladies, he's 54. These males dont grow up. Dont allow any man to waste your time, use your gifts or use your body. Jesus said, don't throw your pearls to swine.
He needed a place to stay. He had free access to your love and your body and all the "feels" and "comfort" that comes with a relationship. He got commitment from you without having to offer any in return. All he had to do was show up and recieve!
Don't be quick to move men in without real commitment. Seems like you are working backwards here and asking serious questions he cannot answer, while you assumed he is serious just because he "moved in." Always listen to your intuition babygirl (you know) ❤️
The guy I was dating or “Seeing” told me on our first conversation that he doesn’t plan things and I had no idea that, that was a red flag. It went right over my head.
Glad you know more about what to watch out for : )
This is happening to me,I'm friend zoning him now.
All I want is pure love. If they can't be honest with their selves, better say they just wanna have fun. But who wants to say it when they just wanna play or fool you? Being broken hearted is difficult especially your intentions are pure.
Thanks for this helpful content, Bern🙏🏵️🌸🌻
I wish everyone peace and love❤️
Felt this 💯💯💯
This is exactly how I feel right now. Like his yo-yo.” I’m ready 2 burst. I really don’t think this guy knows what he wants. I just know I’m not sticking around much longer. I’ve played this game way 2 long..
Hi Angela, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
I had a guy disappear the weekend of my bday. He knew it was my bday. Had been texting me almost daily for 3 months. That weekend falls off the face of the map. 4 days later tells me his cell phone battery quit working. Never apologized or said Happy bday. That was the end for me.
Erin, so glad this was useful and appreciate you having standards.
@@mamindenmas I heard that they don't like birthdays,,,,, the attention is not on them.
Yes helpful as always. I just ghost these types of boys. Waste of time! Know your worth ladies xx
Inconsistency is frustrating but not necessary
As women we need a lot more videos on boundaries xx
Hi , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Great video...im just realizing this...and i remove my self from this situation.
Because i deserve better and to be treated like a Queen..so im definitely going to wait on the lord to send me the right King and he will be appreciate and have a good Queen on his side always no matter what.
Sandra, glad you found this useful : )
@@BernMendez you welcome
Hi Sandra, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
I think I need a Queen in my lonely world, I miss being married. I think we both deserve to be happy
Oh gosh yes, I dated that guy. Such a lesson.
The person I'm dealing with now goes hot and cold on me, I'm sick of it and the sad part he'll be 51 in 4 months. Men say we're confusing! It's funny how we have all these videos for women on how to do this or that for men! This used to be men jumping through hoops for us, now we suppose to jump through hoops for them? I guess I'll just stay single.
Facts!!
This. Had one the same age as yours doing the same b.s. so I left. Then he begged me to love him. I aint got time for that mess.
57 year olds the same.
@@chilloften Just sad grown dusty boys!
I would run when you notice men playing hot to cold, it literally led me to depression and months later I'm still crawling my way out of it. Prior to this guy, I was happy and stable. Be careful with who you let in!
I am a 56 year old lady. I look after myself and have been single for over twenty years….I would rather stay alone than be with a wrong person…..I am sure i will meet my king one day.
Thank you for the education…..
Yeah like he refuses to deal with any real feelings and when you call him out he ghosts you for a few days.
Men or so called Men these days play to many games and these are Men who are over 40 and 50yrs old. It's crazy!
Even into their 60's
Bern Thank you so much for explaining all the points with examples and so warmly and kindly ✨
I am grateful to see this video and have more clarity regarding what’s happening and what’s perceived by my emotionally biased mind .. but also sad and disappointed that it happens so much every where or anywhere and the individuals who have these characteristics are consistently continuing to do so in their 50’s
May the universe protect our genuine and sincere hearts and efforts always. it’s not about landing a partner.. sometimes it’s just a lot of trauma to process and we’re better off without any emotional and mental damage.
Hi Annette, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Extremely great timing! Dodged a bullet. Thank you for sharing ❤
You're welcome, Sam.
Yes I know a friend who he would ring late at night but non commital. He lived a long way away so he went nuts when she said I will fly down to see you. He didn't want that. All the excuses too busy and covid is still around. Then he ghosted her.
Hi Janice, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Bern you are absolutely spot on in this video. I care deeply for a man who has dealt with me in this manner for almost one year now. I know very little about him. I ask questions, direct questions. I sent him a letter telling him of the inconsistency behavior. I felt like you were speaking directly tome in this video. I recently told him we should be friends. I thought since it's almost been a year, he would try to fight for our connection. But no, he never does. Thank you for this video. ❤
Walk away , I got stuck in this cycle for nearly 3 years , it goes no where
Hi , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
@@richardsmith7696 j
Do you even want to be friends with him?
@@ohdear2275 Hello
How are you?
I wish I had seen this before my now ex relationship of four years. He seemed very straightforward and did not play hot or cold but in hindsight it is clear that there were more subtle ways he played games. Ex: when after dating for a couple months I asked him what he thought about monogamy - he managed to deflect the question and not address our relationship status. It was awkward but I did not want to seem needy. I wish now I could accept that he was not stepping up. Another ex: he declared that he had gotten off of the dating app that we met on. What he failed to mention, and I found out later, was that he did not get off of other dating apps (which I was not on). I am a much more direct person when it comes to communication so from now on when someone deflects or I do not feel at liberty to ask a follow up question I will know that something is very off. Please do yourself a favor and do the same.
Hi Sunsita , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
💯💯💯
Yep no. 1 red flag. Inconsistancy. Dont ever underestimate the waste of your time this red flag is warning.
Great video. I could have used this video 35 years ago. But, would I have listened then? Live and learn. No man is worth your sanity!!
I've been married to a man for 14 years who does all of this💔
Amazing information - just from seeing this I know I am on the right track - I just won’t accept less - thankyou
this has to be the best.. most practical advice on this subject that I'veseen
What Bern is describing in the beginning here is called intermittent relationship, it's very addictive
It's the push and pull of a narcissistic trauma bond.
It’s a trait of some Capricorn men. I
Did you mean intermittent reinforcement? I will have to study intermittent relationship if that is indeed what you meant - I’ve never come across this 🧐
@@carolinelaronda4523 You're right, I meant relationship based on intermittent reinforcement, I confused the terminology, thanks :)
@@nativeb.9718 Gemini men, too
I've been married for 26 years to a man who is very narcissistic and still does this kind of crap. Everything Bernardo has said is spot-on! Ladies leave before it's too late. He has mentally super glued my ass into position I'm trying to get out of now!!
You're always on point! Geesh where were you 10 years ago for me to hear this :-)? an immense thank you for this content.
You're welcome, Jenny!
Hi Jenny, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
I just went through this over the last few days. Thank you fir this video. It helps a lot.
Did he ask you to be his girlfriend? No? He’s playing games with you.
Even if he does ask to be his girlfriend, does not mean he won’t play games with you.
@@melodiejohnson342 exactly
@@CrystalDatingCoach I literally had a guy just tell me that no one will ever want to talk to me if im not willing to have sex...😑😡
@@CrystalDatingCoach Thank you !
@@blossom-marie8732 it's not true, men will see you as high value and wife material. They say this so you think no one will want you and give in.
I’m so thankful I watched this. It put my relationship into perspective that’s for sure. I need to check out your longer video on this for sure.
This cliche line 'lets just flow with no expectations' is what got me here and when i go easy he be like 'why are you distant' like what donyou want really?
Glad you're learning that "flowing with whatever happens," doesn't work : )
Great video.I knew someone who acted like this all the time I wasted years of my life waiting for him to make up his mind about me nedless to say he was a lair and had a relationship somewhere else.I was 21 so I was quite innocent but I learnt a lot now I cut them off if they start playing this kind of games.I learned my lesson.
Glad to hear that! : )
Sad 2 say but these games are intentional. People know what they are doing trust me. Even if a guy doesn't know why hes doing it..he still knows hes doing it. I got caught in the trap of thinking he didn't know what he was doing, hes just emotionally unaware, hes just been hurt...yadda yadda yadda. Dont do that 2 yourself. There can also be 2much compassion for some1 is what I've learned. At the end of the day it wasn't any of those things. He just played games. The 1 thing I do know is that it had nothing 2 do with me. Thanks 4 the video
Giving something & taking it away I call it dangling a carrot.
Hi Krystina, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
And men say women are complicated 🙄 🤣 I' ve always been forward, even more as i' ve gotten older. This guy does know his stuff.
Hi Nola, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
@@richardsmith7696 Hi Richard nice to meet you here, your mom sounds like a wise woman. Thank you for the compliment that is very kind and sweet 🙂
@@Nola5427 You are welcome Nola, I think you deserve more than a compliment😊 and yes I agree with you “my mom is indeed a wise woman”. Where are you from?
@@Nola5427 Hello Nola, I haven’t heard from you in days, I hope you’re Ok?
@@richardsmith7696 Hey, i" m fine my friend Thanks, How are you?
This is what I have been going through for last 7 months!
Hi Frances, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
Wow, I was really played! Humility and embarrassed at this is why I have not been with a man since. 8 years single now. Loved a narcissist who didn't care about me, just played me. Ouch
Super amazing advice!!! This has been my story for years. I can now see clearly.
Hi Christine, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
He did everything right
The consistency
We were talking all the time on text, phone, video
He was Planning dates
Talking about being my boyfriend, he was all in bla bla bla
What he wanted was aligned
But then after we’ve been intimate …
Ghosted
So was he a player or just an avoidant who changed his mind?
I've always learned from the give-and-take of a new relationship. My most recent guy is 72, we've been "friends" for 17 years. We started out as "more than friends," where he gave me humor, candor, and pretty good sex. Now he gives criticism, cynicism and a cold attitude about sex. But the taking is even better: money, shelter and nursing care. Pfft! I'm done with this, all of it!
This sounds like a great starter joke but its not nice when you are the one getting hurt.
Thank you! You’re really talented at explaining this!
You're very welcome, Melissa. So glad this was helpful to you : )
💯 thank you 🙏🏻
Every singe point resonated with me 💞
You're so welcome!
Great advice! All 7 apply to my situation.
I wish I found you sooner. I got dragged thru mud for 7 months.
Joanne, glad you’re finding a better way now. It’s never too late to start your second act.
Thank you for this 🙏 You literally described someone in my life I was about to text and ask to stay in my life lol This helps so much.
Same
Hi Heather, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
Your videos are so valuable, insightful🙏🏻 I wish I would’ve come across this info years ago. It would’ve opened my eyes and saved me from heartache after heartache. Never too late I guess…
I'm happy this helped you if you haven't signed up for the free training it might help you a lot: Get My Free Training: bit.ly/my-dating-cure-training
He was to busy or not feeling well and never had any time....So confusing 😕 never initiated contact but would text back immediately. Promised to call and never did I ended this now he doesn't have to worry about me...
I am so glad i found you tonight. Nailing it
Another great video! Thank you!
You're welcome, Lily
Ive heard your videos before and started listening again I just wanted to leave a comment to say you are an excellent communicator in every way. I dont know your own story how you know so much. I do want to wish you a wonderful holiday and many blessings to you and your family. 🙏❤️💫
Jacqueline, thank you so much for your kind words and I appreciate you watching my videos again. Blessings to you too : )
Thanks for the confirmation it’s greatly appreciated
Your advice is the best I have ever received 🙏🏽❤️
Thank you. :)
Well said, excellent, no consistent commitment then its best to be alone, do what one desires without wasting another's time
Always wise words full of common sense and support. Thanks.
Hi Debbie, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😉.
All the 7 signs that u told are true. I'm in this "game relationship" for past 8 years. Few years back, somebody told me that the person I'm dealing, they are cheating on me. But because his aura too strong for me. I just ignore what i've been told about this person. Until last month, somebody told me that the person I was dealing actually have someone else n he actually playing games on me. I say to myself, its not true. Its impossible that he cheated on me for last 8 yrs. But now I realize the hot n cold relationship was too strong on cold for past a year. He only chat me 1,2 times only a year. And that comes to my common sense right now.
Right now, I'm on healing myself. Thank you God for link me to your channel.
What's this person do, align with all the 7 tricks.
I have watched sooo many videos to try to understand why a guy comes on like gangbusters and then disappears only to show back up days, weeks, even months later as if we had been communicating regularly. You and only you have helped me understand. Thank you!! Perhaps now, I will be able to move on earlier and not sit in limbo waiting for the next text.
I think let the guy show who he is and what he wants whether he is serious or not , without telling him to be more consistent.Hi might will step up and become more consistent for a little while to prove that he can, but it wont last for a long a long time, cause it wasn’t his idea, he was just doing what was told to do
Wow! You’ve just described the WOMAN that dropped me when I wanted her to commit.
I’d share this with her but don’t think it would make a difference after 5 months of trying to get into her life. Thanks
You're welcome, it sounds like moving on is your best next step.
This video was absolutely ON POINT . Thank you Bern
You're welcome, Annie : )
Hi Annie, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Well said l have to be very very carefully thanks for posting
You're very welcome!
Thank you. i needed that knowledge
You’re welcome!
This Video is of high value.
My ex would literally loose interest in being interested in me when I showed any normal human care...So I had to let go of that "relationship" as he obviously did not understand that sex and emotions go together.
truly valuable thank you Bern!
Brilliantly delivered, so very helpful
Glad I came across this
@@christianpulisic7784 unfortunately I gave up on love and decided to love me, GOD and my sons. Thank you for my fabulous compliment beautiful human.
@@christianpulisic7784 US, NY
@@christianpulisic7784 No clue ehat handouts is and I don't correspond with gmail. Truth, ppl can read our conversations and I am not seeking dating or anything of that matter. Ty though 4 the interest.
I would have saved myself 8 months of confusion if I had watched this video.
Intermittent relationships are as addictive as a drug.
I needed this video , Thanks for changing my life , there was a guy in my life just like this 😔
I'm grateful this video was helpful for you!
Yup that’s right. I am surrounded by guys like this. What a waste of time, energy and emotions. I need to find some high quality men.
Sounds like you're describing me instead 😅😢 I just feel like protecting myself as much as possible...
Protecting yourself is natural, the more you learn to trust in yourself and your capacity to set healthy boundaries, the more you can step by step start trusting again.
@@BernMendez thanks for taking the time to reply 🙏 I'm slowly learning through practice and watching your videos 💕
@@homiekeen23 Hi , it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
If, at the start, the individual is inconsistent and does nothing to address inconsistencies in his behaviour, then it would be a definite indication he is not serious about you,
Damn… my ex had all 7 signs 😓. I was such an idiot. I lost all my self worth in that relationship.
You can regain your self worth one day and one good decision at a time : )
@@BernMendez 🥺 🙏🏻
Brilliant !!
Great refesher coarse ladies !! We often dpnt do what we know is true he reminds us and i like his energy
Impressive :-) Thanks a lot. Love your coaching cause i have improved tremendously in the last 8 months. I will support you to reach the one million followers and more. Thanks again.
Thank you for giving me my confidence! I dropped him
Omg this is exactly what my friends needed to hear 💞💛💞😂💞😂
FANTASTIC! Perfectly delivered. Thank you!
This is list is accurate and thorough! Thank you!
You’re welcome.
Nailed it. I just deleted someone acting the first description.
: )
Nailed!!! It!!
Thanks a lot. Yes your message was perfect and clear.😊
Glad you found this useful!
This is good it really helps to know this
Glad to hear this, Yvonne,
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 This is amazing and very helpful!
Glad I stumbled upon you and this video. Thank you so much! ❤️
Thank you, this just answered a lot about what just happened to me this week. Guy came over for dinner, all sudden he left gave a peck kiss and said I will call....never has called...all games...
Thank you for your precious videos 🙏💕
My pleasure 😊
Very informative video . Thank you
He actually called me in the middle of the night to go somewhere and stood me up and never show up ! I still forgive him 😢 what is wrong with me
Forgiving him isn't a problem, continuing to believe him if he's repeatedly shown you he's not available, is. Get some help, good therapy works. Support groups also work and they are free.
@@BernMendez he’s one day super into me and went radio silent the next day . Not sure what to think of this hot & cold behavior 😵💫
Thank you you helped me so much eye opening
Hi Audrey, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Richard by name, it would be nice getting to know you better, if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??