Wedding photographers, what are some signs that a marriage is doomed?
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- Опубліковано 15 лис 2024
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I’m a simple woman, I see wedding drama, I click
I think you'd be a fan of Charlotte Dobre then
Charlotte is great. She has a lot of great content, including wedding drama, bridezillas, groomzillas, momzillas, etc. As well as AITA, (sinking) relationships, etc.
@@cozettapierce8239 even a subreddit too :)
I love these for the schadenfreude because I have absolutely zero interest in ever having a wedding
@@ShortStack9661How are you not EMBARRASSED?! 😂
As much as I agree with the "I only edit lighting and background, I never edit bodies or faces" my husband fell down the stairs 1 week before our wedding. It looked like a horse kicked him in the forehead! My makeup artist helped to hide it (for free) and the photographers did an amazing job fixing it in every photo. So there are SOME exceptions.
Oh no! Ouchie! That would definitely be an exception. Hope there wasn't permanent damage.
@@STEALTHrabbs the damages are permanent. His nose is now on his forehead. His eyes swapped places might not sound like a big deal you look left, but you look right instead if you were cross, congrats your cured now your eyes are looking in opposite directions.
When me and my husband went to get engagement photos, we were standing there quietly waiting for her to set up and tell us where to stand. She turned around and said “you know that you guys CAN act like you even like each other!” We were just…flabbergasted, because we weren’t doing anything, just trying to be polite. We’ve been in the most loving, happy relationship for 18 years now, married for 16. So not all photographers are great at reading people.
Edit: Okay so many of these photographers saying ‘I ALWAYS know, I’m almost practically psychic.’ And then they’re just completely off base with more than one example.
Absolutely
At my wedding I zoned out during the vows but it was just because I was staring at my wife and I’m really lucky that that was obvious, the officiant just had to repeat the line I missed
W man moment
@@grantbreazeale4432 Aww that’s sweet.
Wedding photographer here. There are a lot that are obvious. But there are also others that you just KNEW would be soooo happily married. And one of them was divorced within one year. Kid you not. I found out that she just didn't want to live in the U.S. and didn't want to be married, and went back to Canada. !!
what was homegirl even doing with her life?!
@@ArcanineEspeon I have NO clue!
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
@@user-ei4tl7qd2s Scam
Not looking someone in the eye speaks more to being nuerodivergent than not lasting in a relationship...
There's a difference between "not looking them exactly in the eye" and "not really looking at them at all"
Or having PTSD or anxiety? That might do it too
@@jasonellis4330 applies for both
Some people want a wedding, not the marriage. You can always tell. Others have thought and worked through living together for the rest of their life, and are invested in the marriage. Those have much better chances of going the distance. For context, i got a huge family, and we've got an entire wave of 20 to 30 year olds going though their marriages now.
You guys are killing the videos, prompts, and narrators Both. Please never change! Keep it going!
Unrelated to the specific question but my mom and older sister were wedding photographers for a while (working together). The most interesting thing to me is how many times my mom, the PHOTOGRAPHER, had to pull a family member aside and firmly remind them “this isn’t your wedding. This isn’t your day. This isn’t about you.” I was also impressed with how often they were able to keep the peace while getting the pics the couple wanted (distant uncle/aunt who’s a b word? Put her on the end so they can be in the pic but cropped out later if wanted. Distract a group causing issues with one photographer while the other got the pics the couple wanted)
Tho related to the prompt, 100% cake cutting. Or really any issues with the cake said a lot about the couple
Edit: btw my mom always got permission before pulling someone aside. I think she was always thanked afterwards cus my mom’s got a “mom voice” and “mom glare” that I know make grown adults back down. It’s a glorious thing to witness…as long as it’s not aimed at you
Omg how entitled some people can be is beyond me-
I'm a wedding photographer but never felt comfortable doing that (not a mom and don't have that mom voice, haha) but I certainly did THINK IT. (Many times.)
@@JackieOdonnel After having 4 kids and dealing with entitled in-laws, I think it's safe to say my mom's patience for BS is low so that might factor in lol
Red Flags: Smashing spouse into or with cake
I blame TikTok but essentially the person basically assaults their spouse with the cake-sometimes even drawing blood because cakes will have dowels and stuff to keep the cakes standing up… or the person smashed the cake so hard they gave the spouse a black eye or a broken nose.
Like, there are cute little nose boops or little finger smudges… and then there is punching the partner with a cake flavored boxing glove.
Married 25 years. Yes to laughing when the inevitable foul ups happen during the wedding being a good sign.
We laughed to the point of tears when all the random crap happened during our wedding. I still laugh when I remember my brother in law showing up with black shoe polish smeared on his face (he wanted his boots extra polished and I guess wiped his face while working on them).
In my case, we had generic wedding package 0: courthouse event with 4 total guests followed by dinner at a nice but affordable restaurant with those same 4 people. cost of the day? minimal. Neither of us like crowds, so we didn't do the big wedding. just got the paperwork and spent the money on the honeymoon instead.
@@shadeblackwolf1508 Yeah I don’t see why they said that was a bad thing. Some people just don’t want a big hoopla and want to spend the money elsewhere.
In the boudoir section, if you as a wife to be, know your husband is uncomfortable with that as an idea, and you go, “not only am I doing it, it’s my wedding gift to you.” That shows such a lack of care for a groom it’s obvious it’s gonna fail.
I think people who get drunk at their weddings are often very, very nervous.
Facts. I would be drunk at mine, not due to my partner, but solely because of the amount of people there😅
Photogs, what is a red flag for couples?
Photogs: being mean to photogs
Most of these aren't that tho
I love the guy from story 28 saying he is a "*recovering* wedding photographer". Made me chuckle.
My husband and I got married young. I had strangers telling me what a bad idea it was. I also had strangers telling me “I did too and we’ve been married for 50 years!” A bit confusing 🤣
Looking back, I’m sure the wedding/reception were pretty tacky as we weren’t rolling in cash to spend and I wound up making a lot of the decorations by hand. I only had real flowers in the bouquets and reception because my angel of a MIL wanted to pay for them. I had no idea what I was doing trying to plan a wedding 🤣
But none of that even matters today. I’ve been married to the best human on the planet for 10 years now. Sure, there are pictures I didn’t get that I would have liked to, the wedding cake was a leaning tower of messy, and all sorts of other things went haywire, but I wouldn’t trade that day for the world. When you’re too focused on marrying the love of your life, it’s a lot easier to laugh off the little bumps in the road 😅
See, because this is a good video in the way that the happy stories that work out make me cry and think about how I want my wedding in the future, and the disaster ones make me never want to get married ever. This Rollercoaster of emotions is a lot.
There are a lot of emotions by a lot of people on that day, mostly family and close friends, as well as the b and g (or brides, or grooms, if same-sex couples). Just don't let it get to you, and promise you and your spouse-to-be that whatever happens on that day, it's the most important day and you're going to enjoy each other.
@@justin_glen_with_1_n403 It’s usually just the attitude you go into it with. I told myself I would never be a bridezilla, nothing is perfect and I’d just accept things going wrong in stride. Treated everyone with respect, kept it to family and close friends and remembered that it was about me and my husband’s love for each other. That kept the stress down and the vibes happy.
Those who put value on the presents and not the presence of loved ones have a lot to learn about love. It is not about the finer things in life it is about what is real, not ideal. Not everything is perfect and you work through the tough stuff together. 46 years, 2 layoffs, lean years and joyful surprises. 43 and pregnant when “you may never have kids” due to medical issues. Retirement a breeze and son very gainfully employed. Tough times survived, life lived to its fullest, coasting into the golden years still together. 69 and 75 years old hoping for son to find the right one too! Not worried about grands because happiness should be his goal too.
Congratulations! 👍👏👏 You Two NAILED It!🎉🎉
As for the cake smashing, my wife and I fed each other cakes normally and then she booped my nose. Fun, harmless, and amusing.
I would never get cake smashing cos it's CAKE!!!! And a wedding cake on top of that! That's got to be expensive. Why waste it just to ruin the fun and make the other person uncomfortable
@@Benjamin1986980 That’s cute! That was what the cake smashing was supposed to be. Getting a tiny bit of frosting on your face. I don’t know why it turned into waging war on each other.
Husband and I had the most low key/fast over and out wedding ever, we just didn’t care and only wanted to get married because we loved each other. We didn’t need this big expensive look at me moment, the thought quite frankly made me want to run or retch 😂. I think the entire thing was around an hour long and then everyone got to leave and go do whatever they REALLY wanted to do with their weekend 😂. We went on our honeymoon immediately afterwards and then socked what money we saved on a big fancy wedding into a house instead. A wedding is one day of your entire life and I’m no princess 😂. A house is the gift that keeps on giving forever. THAT was more important to me. Four walls and a roof that housed our eventual little family of four plus a couple of extra kiddos not born to us that we took in.
Smart. I mean, I love weddings (and I'm a wedding photographer, so they are money-makers for me, haha) but honestly, I think people should skip the expensive weddings and just put a down-payment down on a house. Best thing ever.
@@JackieOdonnel hey to each their own thing, no hate intended. They just personally make me uncomfortable and I can’t wait to get out of one. Even my own 😂. I’m of course really happy for the happy couple when I do go to one, and I give nice gifts. But I’m itching to get out of them when I’m sitting in one. One where I was the maid of honor was quite honestly a nightmare for me. The only reason I said yes was because it was my sister in law and I wanted to be there for her on her special day. I gritted my teeth and hid my discomfort and discharged all of my duties to the best of my ability. I certainly never let her know I was not comfortable with any of it. I’m a huge dress wearer but gosh darn that dress was unattractive and uncomfortable for me that she chose for us all. I would never tell her that in a million years and just grinned and wore it. I looked like I belonged at an early eighties prom though 😂. I can say it here because “anonymous” 😂🤷♀️. She had some other acquaintance type friend make a pattern of it in our individual sizes and they were all solid burgundy. We paid a fair amount of money for them and there was no using them again afterwards for any occasion.
@@JackieOdonnelsome people do that.
I was at a wedding once where they had a dollar dance with both the bride and the groom. It was nothing like what I've seen people describe on reddit! A person would make a small cash donation (IIRC they had a hat sitting on the floor that they dropped the cash into), I would escort them over to the bride on the dancefloor, I would let them dance approximately 8 to 12 bars, then go and get the next partner and lead them over. No stuffing cash down bodices, no drunken leering, nothing. Just a nice chance to have a moment to speak to the bride or groom on a busy day, offer personal congratulations, and donate a little money for them to get started on their life together. Classy. Mindful. Demure.
Former professional event photographer.
I would Photoshop every delivered image. Of course I would crop appropriately, bring out details in shadows (if appropriate), and the opposite for (specular) highlights. I would eliminate transient facial flaws such as pimples or scratches, but not permanent features such as moles or scars. I would whiten teeth a little-too white looks fake. I would also "open" eyes. My clients always loved what I delivered. I gave them happy memories.
How does the "eye opening" work ? Is it just playing with light and shadow on the eyes, or actual modification of shapes ? I'm very curious !
@@Loweene_Ancalimon
It is actual modification of shapes, such as by using Clone Stamp to copy an open eye over the closed eye. I may also copy the open eye to its own layer, adjust levels to match skin tone, then use Clone Stamp. I even do mirror image if necessary.
My husband and I paid the minimum for our wedding, did the marriage counseling and skipped the reception in favor of cupcakes and some sandwiches bought by our best man as a wedding present. We had very few people there and we were much more focused on starting our life together as opposed to anything else. The thing that got us through the really bad times is taking the vows seriously. You have to do those things even when you REALLY don't want to. Actually consider if you mean what you are saying.
Never been married myself but it seems to me that the two common indicators of future trouble are:
1) The guy brags about sex with his girlfriend/wife, even to acquaintances and even total strangers
2) The woman talks down about her husband when he isn't around or she thinks he can't hear her.
Doesn't mean divorce is inevitable but it shows lack of honor and dignity.
Our photographer said my husband and I had some of the best natural chemistry he'd ever seen and had to give us minimal direction. And some of my favourite photos from our wedding are just little moments between my husband and I where we didn't even know we were being photographed.
Ingredients for a good marriage are things like being on the same page, being able to laugh at yourself, being comfortable enough to be silly around the other, respecting each other and actually LIKING the person and wanting a marriage instead of a wedding.
Thing
It's the man's wedding too. I'm not as much of an encyclopedia of airplanes and cars as he is ( to the tune of pointing out every car and airplane mistake in movies ever made lol) but picked our venue with him in mind at a classic automobile museum. Don't forget relationships are work. 🎉
My engagement photos were recently, and we had so much fun. Makes me reaxalittle knowing that it's a thing photographers look for as a green flag. We laughed the entire time and were kissing and joking with everyone ( the wedding party and family were there). Only mine and my fiances opinions mattered, tho.
Laughter is such a give away. Laughing together at anything that goes wrong (because stuff always does) = good. Laughing AT each other = bad, very bad. I've been married almost 30 very happy years. We laughed a lot through the photos and all the rest of the wedding hoopla.
At end of the day we all see red flags with relationships but have to sit back because its not our lives to say to much.
What if the couple leaves the wedding ceremony early, together, would that be a green flag? So ready to get freaky they can’t wait for the end of the party.
My dad is a practical joker, and so on his marriage to his second wife, knowing what he was gonna do, she outsped him and smushed the cake in his face instead. Then, in a local tradition, the mother of the bride took the cake plate and dropped it, before the made of honor handed him the dustpan and her the brush. apparently it is a local tradition to make the couple do their first chore as a couple at the wedding.
Never heard of this tradition before.
@@adelerodriguez2432 I never heard of it before, but apparently it's a thing in dad's wife's home country. I think it's cute.
@@shadeblackwolf1508 where was she from?
@@adelerodriguez2432 a former soviet country. I don't wanna say exactly cause that'd be too identifying with other things i say online
33:05 nah we just both autistic 💀 eye contact hurts
i want the twink narrator back what happened to him
the twink 😭😭😭😭😭
😭😭💀 yall crazy
Say who now?
Green? Yellow? Or is there a third one I don't know about?
@ArcanineEspeon it's the yellow one that uses the green text (or maybe they all use green text? Idk, the yellow one)
love the twink narrator
11:23 this couple is so cute. This dude is a real keeper.
when theres an alternative version of the groom trying to kill every mirror version of himself
did yall notice the video in the background is looped?
I personally don’t EVER want to get married even if I find someone I love because what does marriage do show trust or if you want sex with someone else you can lose almost everything you have
Well, if you sole idea is "I wanna be able to screw around!" then, Don't Worry! You're Not Gonna Be Trapped - YOU'RE NOT GONNA FALL IN LOVE! 'Cause you have to care about someone beyond yourself - &, as you've proclaimed, you don't plan to look farther than your genitals. HEY! BUT GOOD JOB RESURRECTING YOUR BOOMER GRANDMA & GRANDPA'S OLD HIPPIE 💩💩💩💩!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
The way I see it, marriage is fundamentally a promise to your spouse and as such I wouldn't want to have kids without it. Now to find someone with the same point of view...
From my own wedding: not showing any interest in the other spouse's family. I was incredibly mentally ill & shouldnt really have been allowed to get married, but guess who's good at masking! 🙃
Uh, I wouldn't pull the "say you don't want a wedding and see how they react" if you've been together a long time. I was dating my husband for seven years before he proposed, we put off the first wedding date for 3 years later and made it the 4th year instead (2011 vs. 2010). If he had pulled that after so long a wait, it would have been soul-crushing.
Yeah, if it's about the marriage the question would have to be very carefully phrased to not be gutwrenching.
My wedding day was so much fun, and also we laughed that our chicken breast and burgers turned into hockey pucks. It was a potluck styled wedding, and was just perfect!
1:51:04 Oh, man, why have I never been to a Discordian wedding? Hail Eris! 🎉
if shes happy than im happy is all i gotta say the wedding is the most stressful part of anyones life so if bride is happy im happy because its her day well technically our day but all technicalities aside if my wife to be is happy and both my family and her family dont interfere then i genuinely don't care
These have been ad nauseum... can you do one that is Wedding Photographers, what is something that happened at a wedding that let you know the wedding was going to last.
This video ended up doing that, though. Several submitters did a red flag/green flag thing.
@@JackieOdonnel Sweet!!!
Ok donut wall couple made me smile.
tbf if i’m paying for a make up artists and dropping a lot of money on a dress then i don’t want it full of cake 😭😭
I generally don't like this narrator... but him being absolutely unable to keep composure during story 33, especially when you KNOW it's not the first take, is fucking hilarious.
I have noticed the other narrator seems to do far less than this one these days. I wonder why.
Yeah, I think this one's the mystical third narrator everyone keeps mentioning? Or he's just being more quiet this video lol
@@ToastysCheetos No he's the second
I know y'all have choices but come on stop hating this guy y'all. Reading for 2 hours isn't a small deal.
@@Kavyawoo1511 Oh, I don't hate the guy and I still listen to the videos he does. I just like the other guys voice a bit better. I still respect this guy for his work.
How long were that man's testicles to show from under his kilt? Kilts reach at or just above the knee. Although I've seen many an accidental flash while sitting
Story 27 madw me chuckle
At my wedding my husband forgot his belt and pissed me off but then I had a baby a month before.
I question your theory on the cake smashing. My husband and I did a little cake smashing all in good fun. Our wedding was August of 1974 so maybe the jury is still out…😊
It's more about mutual consent than anything else. If you have smashing cake in each other's faces together as part of the ceremony and can laugh about it that's one thing. But a lot of times the bride said no and the groom does it anyways and the bride ends up angry, embarrassed with her make up ruined and dress dirty. That's a red flag.
I’ve seen ones where the groom wrestles the bride to the ground to smash cake on her, or forces her face down into the whole cake, or throws the whole cake at her. Or ones where she speaks to him beforehand to say ‘please let’s not do the cake smashing thing’ and he does it anyway, completely disregarding her wishes. THOSE are the red flag ones. Not where they both agree to it and laugh and are gentle.
Yeah! But you BOTH were ' on the same page'! BIG DIFFERENCE!
I heard of one where the groom, despite being begged not to, Smashed It Into The Bride's Face, & then - when she sobbed why did he do it anyway - smirked " 'Cuz My Buddies Dared Me To, So I Had T' Do It!"
🚩🚩BIG RED BANNERS🛑🛑
Never nag someone into marry you. These disasters Will be your wedding.
Do wedding photographers keep tabs on their clients' divorce rates?
Story 88,89 and 90 sounds fun. 91was really sad. 92 you pronounced Hyperemiss wrong. It is Hyper Em ER sis. I had it bad while pregnant
If they want a word to be pronounced with an r sound, it generally helps to put an r in it.
Hope you recovered (& it is/was better on the next one.)
Say "he or she" one more time in the same sentence and I'll get an aneurysm. "They" is right there.
Cry about it
@@eviljman0074 I did. Your point?
Depends on the sentence structure. Unless You're CONJOINED TWINS, 'They' isn't necessary the 'One Size Fits All' automatic go-to!
@@Berniej.Janinsky I specifically meant the sentence structure in that part of the video. It breaks the reading flow and is jarring when read out loud.
Or (to avoid annoying people who dislike singular they) just pick one and stick with it. I've seen user manuals that refer to the user as "she" despite the accompanying product having a largely male userbase, and honestly it's really nice to read as it entirely removes cumbersome forms and ambiguous pronouns (did "they" refer to settings, or to the user?) and the only way for people to complain about it is from a perspective of anti-male bias. Which again due to context is kinda laughable.
1:49:48 "a group of four, to male to female.
so what does that even mean?
does it mean from male to female? or what is it. please explain.
two male two female, and the captions are made using some kind of really bad automated system. I'm not sure why though, since the script is literally ripped off of reddit and presumably they're reading it from somewhere even if it's been slightly modified by removing stories or whatever.
@@traveller23e I understood that. was the video changed? no. I guess not. english is not my first language, and they don't even care to write it properly.
that's why I try to stay away of such channels.
@@robertheinrich2994 you asked for an explanation, I obliged 🤷
S68 off topic stories from there most are about their weddings I zone out and in listening to these but all still good stories
And story 86 Op could have just closed the laptop 🙃
You really need to break these down into smaller videos. 2 hours is simply too long and causes burnout for the viewer. If you want to compile them later that's good. But its not good for a single release.
genuine question: are you aware that you can pause or stop watching a video whenever you like and come back to it when or if you wish?
@@projectjupiter5523 genuine question: are you aware that there are general formats to do on youtube that are standard due to the average user's general interest lasting about 10-20 minutes?
Are you aware that extreme length videos like this are also prone to multiple mistakes due to the amount of time it takes to make them, making them difficult to properly QA/QC? This channel's videos are full of them.
Also are you aware that if a user returns to a video. Its most likely to go back to the comments section and not to continue where they left off? (I'd link a source but google loves to take down non-bot comments)
Are you also aware that your comment was not a genuine question?
You're the only one complaining tho 😐 that your attention span is not the best is not their business
@@thaurane Longer videos (especially audio-heavy ones) are far better for listening to whilst doing chores though.
Early gang lmao
HELLOOO
HOWDY DOODY TO YOUSE, TOO!
Bouta kahm
second
UwU early
First
11:57 I never knew there was a "Divide the pain part" to that.. I like it!
Lol, 12:56 "The DJ's computer was a PC"... seriously? THAT'S the thing you're gonna get worked up about? I mean, I know stupid little things like that are kinda the point of the video but as a computer geek that just really caught me off guard
BSD on mac hardware or nothing.
4:41 sounds like a neat venue but like WHY