Our First Date // EP 1 - Pretty Lonesome

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  • Опубліковано 4 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 524

  • @antonzworld
    @antonzworld Рік тому +914

    Never clicked FASTER

  • @cc_par
    @cc_par Рік тому +938

    im gonna reference this video in my paper on male vs female psychology, its honestly fascinating how differently women and men view the world.

    • @paprika_ame
      @paprika_ame Рік тому +25

      Interesting, can you elaborate?

    • @RobbieStacks90
      @RobbieStacks90 Рік тому +19

      When is the young woman in this video going to learn her lesson and stop dating these obnoxious brutes?

    • @bellaandwhatnot
      @bellaandwhatnot Рік тому

      @@RobbieStacks90not the point of the video at all but pop ur shit ig

    • @chloe-uk6ef
      @chloe-uk6ef Рік тому +21

      Wait I actually wanna see ur paper so badly this is such an interesting topic

    • @cc_par
      @cc_par Рік тому +23

      ​ @raineedust A high level overview is focusing on the glorification of different social factors that affect men and women's mentality and their interests but only radical viewpoints, specifically delusional mindsets associated with each. Off the top of my head would be men's glorification of war and women's glorification of beauty. Most likely will use her as reference of the women's attraction to beauty. Using a man kick streamer for their infatuation with war. Both of which are textbook cases of delusion, from my personal and educated perspective.

  • @Katie-fuller
    @Katie-fuller 3 місяці тому +291

    If only she knew

    • @Mistywolf-z6b
      @Mistywolf-z6b 3 місяці тому +1

      Ikr😢

    • @pastelcardigan
      @pastelcardigan 3 місяці тому

      @@Mistywolf-z6b what's happened??

    • @Mistywolf-z6b
      @Mistywolf-z6b 3 місяці тому +9

      @@pastelcardigan central cee cheated on her with ice spice

    • @healthyliam6803
      @healthyliam6803 3 місяці тому +3

      What’s black and rhymes with trigger

    • @rileymccollum2348
      @rileymccollum2348 3 місяці тому

      @@healthyliam6803my favorite word does

  • @joybird144
    @joybird144 Рік тому +820

    as an autistic woman with adhd this is now my favorite podcast lmao the way you jump from topic to topic heals me

    • @camilleleclercq587
      @camilleleclercq587 Рік тому +6

      this !!!!

    • @amirat8162
      @amirat8162 Рік тому +1

      Right

    • @yas4767
      @yas4767 Рік тому +10

      i don't even notice i literally just go along and forget what she was talking about right with her 😭 she's at my pace fr

    • @Kiiwww99
      @Kiiwww99 Місяць тому

      This and same

  • @denarendall
    @denarendall Рік тому +947

    HOW DO YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD EVERY FUCKING TIME? The point you made about feeling like everyone else is more at home in the world than you and you’re like a child resonates so strongly with me. And the not having a woman’s body so not feeling like an adult/a real “girl”. I feel like nobody should take me seriously, and I also feel so young speaking to anyone, even people younger than me.

    • @JuliMaria
      @JuliMaria Рік тому +15

      Omgg same. That’s exactly how I feel. Thank you for sharing 🫶🏻

    • @artdecoangel
      @artdecoangel Рік тому +9

      Yes I’m so happy that someone is talking about this bc I 100% relate and just want to feel like a real woman I know that I am but I still feel otherwise

    • @lylz3030
      @lylz3030 Рік тому +6

      especially when people comment on you looking young it just knocks your confidence

    • @shaunalewis9628
      @shaunalewis9628 Рік тому +1

      Oh my god i feel this so much. How does it get better🤣x

    • @MardyMel
      @MardyMel Рік тому

      @ThatGreatnessyeah whatever 😂you have Logan Paul as your profile pic🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

  • @fangirlinneverland6335
    @fangirlinneverland6335 Рік тому +172

    "they might not looking for me,but for a relationship" damn this point was so enlightening,also you are so right about not wanting certain relationships to last forever

  • @listentome271
    @listentome271 Рік тому +115

    Treating friendships seriously and looking for genuine connection is just self care. My friends are family to me

  • @elisabethherzog9369
    @elisabethherzog9369 Рік тому +122

    I totally understand taking your friendships seriously and I honestly wish more people did. Also being selective about your friends. I’m the same way like I get so excited when I have a new friend but at the same time it’s rare because I know what kind of people I don’t want in my life and I’m very I guess choosy about people. I think it’s a smart way to be honestly. Quality over quantity.

  • @b00uwh0res
    @b00uwh0res Рік тому +58

    you're so like well spoken idk you explained everything so well, you're actually so real and relatable, and you're also really pretty.. watching this is very therapeutic

  • @caronte1447
    @caronte1447 Рік тому +145

    I literally discovered this channel two days ago and still I'm so happy to see you back with a new video, your positivity is contagious and your awareness level is quite impressive

  • @kannaasano
    @kannaasano Рік тому +56

    Madeline, the part you talked abt your imposter syndrome and feeling younger than everyone has been the most relatable thing i’ve heard in a while. Thank u for making me and others feel less alone love u girl🩵

  • @shahedra66
    @shahedra66 Рік тому +24

    look at how gorgeous Madeline is, she shouldn't be so insecure cause comparison is the thief of joy.

  • @shahedra66
    @shahedra66 Рік тому +151

    i love madeline for being so real about her life and things she struggles with, that's how a podcast should be.

  • @denarendall
    @denarendall Рік тому +44

    The best possible start to the week! Mondays just got a whole lot easier! I’m so stupidly excited for you. Big big things to come! Sending all the love in the world!❤️

  • @kvsismith
    @kvsismith Рік тому +25

    the part where you spoke about you feeling out of place in social situations resonated with me so hard.

  • @mangoamy
    @mangoamy Рік тому +16

    Hearing you talk about friendships was honestly what I needed to hear. For the past few months now I’ve been wishing I had more girl friends, I’ve always been the type of person to find comfort and happiness in one solid friend. As soon as I got with my boyfriend in college I noticed myself drifting away from my friends and sort of got used to the comfort and companionship of my boyfriend, he became my best friend as well, so I lost a lot of female friendships. With this I’ve also ended up building up a lot of anxiety when it comes to friends, I’ve been going out more often this month with a couple closer friends, but I just wish I wasn’t so anxious all the time, and I often just wish I had a big group of close girl friends.

  • @WhozEmzy
    @WhozEmzy Рік тому +43

    8:58 I feel this completely!! You truly put it into words what I try to explain to people. Friendships are so important and mean so much to me. I wish it was talked about more the importance of them.

    • @elisabethherzog9369
      @elisabethherzog9369 Рік тому +9

      Yesss that’s exactly what I thought. People don’t understand how important friendships are and how much of an impact they can make in your life. I always take my friendships very seriously and I think this was the first time I’ve really heard someone explain it in the exact way that I think of them.

    • @WhozEmzy
      @WhozEmzy Рік тому

      @@elisabethherzog9369 For real!

  • @Zarocaz
    @Zarocaz Рік тому +19

    Hey Madeline, I subbed a while ago and I will just say, thank you for this cozy podcast! It's very easy for us younger adults to feel like we're behind these days - older adults seemingly have it all together, wages are more spread than ever, and everyone seems to be doing *something* that someone else isn't doing. When you mentioned you're 23, and feel so young, I chuckled to myself because I'm 28 and I already feel old. I have a supporting family, a beautiful and loving wife, a decent job, and overall my life is "pretty good". Like you though, whenever I enter a room, I feel less than everyone else despite those blessings I have in my life. Maybe it's just me though. Keep your chin up, you've got a world ahead of you!

  • @sadedur23
    @sadedur23 Рік тому +22

    it feels so good to know there is someone like you in this world. I feel understood. Conversations like these are such a lost art ❣️ thank you for your authenticity

  • @pearjuiceesc2987
    @pearjuiceesc2987 Рік тому +26

    OMG I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH can’t believe the wait is finally over!!!!! LOVE YOU

  • @rebeccaharvey3955
    @rebeccaharvey3955 Рік тому +77

    This is honesty better then therapy. Madeline is just so real all the time and I think we all relate to her in some sort of way.

  • @caro5620
    @caro5620 Рік тому +10

    such good advice about picking your friends like relationships. i don’t think of it like that probably because i’ve never actually made good friends or had options until now (i’m 23) i’m gonna try to start thinking of it w the same intense selectivity that i do my relationships. and i feel you about the socializing and loving being alone. just found you the other day on your how to be hot and confident video which was exactly what i needed to hear. will be watching the podcast 24/7

  • @TheFlareMind
    @TheFlareMind Рік тому +13

    I'm a guy but I can relate to this as well. I have a very small group of friends etc and I prefer this way tbh.
    Treating friendships/relationships seriously important but its a 2-way street, so if that means you have to cut people out so be it.
    Also do allow yourself to enjoy experiences no matter how small they may seem.
    Appreciate the time & effort you put into this!

  • @harrysellitto544
    @harrysellitto544 Рік тому +19

    Never related to someone so much. I have all these feelings and it’s so refreshing to not feel alone in it Thankyou !!!

  • @fangirlinneverland6335
    @fangirlinneverland6335 Рік тому +95

    I love how she procrastinated for months making podcast AND FINALLY ITS HERE

  • @avagardiner2869
    @avagardiner2869 Рік тому +30

    the fact that this is my therapy from now on😫

  • @antonettebellbooth9918
    @antonettebellbooth9918 Рік тому +6

    hand on heart, im baffled with how accurate everything she said correlates with my life. its so nice to see a successful girl who has the same mindset as me it honestly gives me hope.

  • @mbm18
    @mbm18 Рік тому +14

    you really explained that childlike/imposter feeling so perfectly

  • @honorrush8390
    @honorrush8390 Рік тому +7

    I feel the same way about travel. I'm a homebody that loves adventure but I've never had a desire to travel abroad for extensive periods. I love travel, but I also love my home, and I find so much happiness going about my normal life knowing that I have somewhere to return.

  • @millie97921
    @millie97921 3 місяці тому +12

    Just started watching these, omg how can he do such a thing to herr shes so fcking sweet I LOVE HER 😭❤️

  • @Felix-kl3xm
    @Felix-kl3xm Рік тому +5

    I relate to the (not) having social anxiety part. I dont think im shy, but when out of my comfort zone my ability to have a good conversation goes to zero.

  • @prerza
    @prerza Рік тому +9

    im so happy we have a Spotify version of this, love u madelineee

  • @gigiparrott
    @gigiparrott Рік тому +4

    i could listen to you speak for so long it’s crazy

  • @nahihassan1151
    @nahihassan1151 Рік тому +11

    Love her new era

  • @iamnottweezy
    @iamnottweezy Рік тому +4

    I have lived in Wyoming with my parents, and it is such a beautiful state with so many kind and caring people - thats genuinely where I met some of the best people and friends. There are all four seasons - but from living in northern europe, I can say its way better during the winter since its beautiful and "fresh". Also it didn't take the winter depression toll on my mental health. Would recommend

  • @cchampa17
    @cchampa17 Рік тому +9

    i dont know if this will reach you but congrats on the progression of your podcast madeline! im not a woman and cant exactly relate to some of the experiences/thoughts you touch on but am still thoroughly entertained by each episode you put out, theres a plethora of truth nuggets embedded in every minute. i think youre probably going to encounter a lot of bigtime opportunities in the near future, like expensive contracts and chances to change your format or improve the tech etc, but just know that what draws your fans in is your authentic personality and relatable qualities! dont get lost in the sauce because with this format you have perfected, the sauce will naturally begin to flow in with overwhelming quantity.

  • @OnlyGoodVibes36
    @OnlyGoodVibes36 Рік тому +2

    To answer your question about what is in the trucks, You know, most towns don't make everything they need. Things like clothes, shoes, food, and even stuff like construction materials and beauty products usually come from different places. So, these trucks are what are used to import or just bring in these products. They don't use planes or boats because that's expensive. Trucks are just a more practical and cost-effective way to transport everything for overland places though. That's why they're always on the road, because people heavily reliy on the stuff they bring in. I do not know if it was a genuine question but I just felt the need to answer you. Also I enjoyed the first episode,can't wait for more!!

  • @SyreLikeAFire
    @SyreLikeAFire Рік тому +97

    madeline does it all - from talking about how american chocolate tastes like sick to commenting on her dog’s “tiddy” developments - all in basically the same breath

  • @piscesfairie
    @piscesfairie 2 місяці тому +1

    i’ve never met anyone else who talks about how when you’re social your brain goes blank, i’ve tried to explain it to so many people but they don’t understand. i feel so understood by you

  • @hollyming
    @hollyming Рік тому +78

    i am in love with everything about this podcast

  • @kamii625
    @kamii625 Рік тому +6

    I’ve never related to someone more. Literally feel like an alien sometimes so it’s nice to know someone else has these same feelings

  • @AA-qb7ni
    @AA-qb7ni Рік тому +6

    OMG she's backkkk!!!! The way I've missed Madeline and this podcast 😭😭

  • @evelinreyes4346
    @evelinreyes4346 Рік тому +4

    completely agree with the way she talked about friendships love this 🫶🏽

  • @userkgethi
    @userkgethi Рік тому +11

    So glad you’re still in your car 🥰 it just feels safe

  • @Alessia-ld6dh
    @Alessia-ld6dh Рік тому +3

    Madeline u should abs do an episode about your university experience!! I think lots of us would enjoy to hear , being in uni ourselves❤❤❤

  • @elissa1660
    @elissa1660 Рік тому +4

    The friendship stuff. Omg. You get it. I’ve never met anybody else that is that selective with friendships. I wanna be friends w u. I feel like we would vibe so well

  • @este90S
    @este90S Рік тому +10

    I feel the same about the imposter syndrome and feeling like a kid compared to other people my age. I'd like to say it gets better but I'm 30 and still feel like this!

  • @KarinHer
    @KarinHer 3 місяці тому +1

    I’m folding laundry while I’m listening and I feel so productive. I love the relatability.😂❤

  • @francesca4462
    @francesca4462 Рік тому +6

    the imposter syndrome is so real i feel like im still a 12 year old girl and shouldn’t be out by myself and i feel like people can tell that i feel like i don’t belong

  • @11XI
    @11XI Рік тому +1

    What a beauty, natural, pure and fresh

  • @abbymombourquette9075
    @abbymombourquette9075 Рік тому +1

    yes! i feel like i can’t let loose and when i do i don’t enjoy it

  • @brandoncampbell___
    @brandoncampbell___ Рік тому +5

    I relate so hard on the not enjoying going out thing, i haven't drank alcohol since i was 13 (lol) and i'm now 20, in the last 7 years all that any past friends and even current ones seem to ever want to do is either go out clubbing or go and drink but it's so difficult knowing who real friends are and who isn't. I have felt alone many a time over the last 7 years, sometimes i just feel like i'll never find somebody similar to me being a 20 year old male who doesn't drink or go out clubbing or drinking at all.

  • @laureb7697
    @laureb7697 Рік тому +3

    This is crazy, I'm also very much a one on one kind of person, and it's felt weird because others would often be like oh can we invite more people etc. like bruh. And I also find it really hard to navigate big groups, cause you'll get along with a couple of people but it's often unlikely that you'll find affinity with all of them! Thanks for this video ^^

  • @qvq573
    @qvq573 Рік тому +5

    so relatable 😩dont ever stop sharing your random stories pls youre making me feel normal lol 💜

  • @5stargigi
    @5stargigi Рік тому +6

    This podcast was So like I don't even know how to describe it as but perfect for me. And You've just made me realize something about myself and I have a real delayed social processing like in the moment I try to be as fully aware of one's feelings and the situation as I can But after If I say something bad or good or something that Just embarrassed myself Ill think about it after its over And I dont want to sound like im crazy after when I think about it flinch, or fucking twitch because I feel like I could've done better.

  • @simonesinead
    @simonesinead Рік тому +2

    There is definitely a difference between people who want a relationship and who wants the person infront of them

  • @chelseanelson1699
    @chelseanelson1699 6 місяців тому

    I have never related more within the first minute…. My car is my safe space. My partner and people don’t understand why I sit in my car for literal hours after work or before or after I go somewhere…. So excited for this podcast!

  • @Alizeluvsyou
    @Alizeluvsyou Рік тому +2

    This is how I feel, I feel like I need someone that likes to have fun and do things and go out with because I’m just at home every day because I don’t have a friend/bf to do those things with

  • @estrellaestrella2594
    @estrellaestrella2594 Рік тому +11

    I FEEL SO LESS LONELY WHEN I LISTEN TO THESE PODCASTS

  • @shahedra66
    @shahedra66 Рік тому +3

    im also someone who likes to be alone and struggles with socializing, so I relate a lot to Madeline.

  • @Jaque744
    @Jaque744 Рік тому +1

    19:43 that part literally simplify all that I think about relationships and never knew how to say for people 😮

  • @rashaad4772
    @rashaad4772 Рік тому +3

    It’s kool/mature that you are self aware. I’m 23 and if you didn’t mention your age, I would’ve thought you were older than me

  • @Boredonthejob
    @Boredonthejob Рік тому +4

    "If you're a hater of the to-mah-to pasta, then I'm a hater of you." I came for the accent, I stayed for the conversation. Liked and subscribed.

  • @shahedra66
    @shahedra66 Рік тому

    she so humble and sweet, i want to squeeze her and protect her, she has a good heart.

  • @fa1th100
    @fa1th100 Рік тому +6

    This podcast is the best thing I have seen and listened to in a while, good stuff Madeline!

  • @mackenzievanrooy7304
    @mackenzievanrooy7304 Рік тому +4

    When you said Wisconsin I FLIPPED lol. You don't want to move here. Maybe a quick visit to Milwaukee is fun, but the winters here are absolute shit.

    • @jamiekrantz9773
      @jamiekrantz9773 11 днів тому

      i’ve only went to wisconsin once, for a wedding. in winter, and it was, as you can imagine, COLD AS HELL. Ohio feels you too 😢🫶🏼

  • @treysongates-smith9574
    @treysongates-smith9574 Рік тому +7

    i love who you are and i hope to find a woman like you one day , much love

  • @samanton8003
    @samanton8003 Рік тому +9

    Absolutely loved the podcast. She made my smile the entire time.

  • @trill808z
    @trill808z Рік тому +2

    My way of getting away from my mom is going on my Computer with headphones - then she comes and taps on my shoulder and all peace leaves lol I gotta appreciate the time I have left with her.

  • @cat-ol7mf
    @cat-ol7mf Рік тому +1

    i’ve been falling asleep to ur first podcast vid every night (dont even ask ur voice is so soothing) and im so happy ur posting moree

  • @Kmushy
    @Kmushy Рік тому +1

    Thanks you for the date!
    I've been trying to date ladies for the past 2 months to find a serious relationship but between the constant ghosting and rejection its been... going well haaha. The learning curve is rough 😅
    Anyway lovely to see there are still genuine women in the UK and that you are so mature and sensible.
    One day I'll find a lovely lady like you but I would really appreciate if you or some kindred spirits in the comment section could advise me where y'all go to socialize.
    Excellent content, so good I had to comment and I NEVER comment.
    Keep learning and growing as a person (Not talking physically :P, we all come in different shapes and sizes, I found it took time to be comfortable it my own skin too)
    Hope this puts a smile on your face because you've certainly made my day! ❤

  • @pearpop69
    @pearpop69 Рік тому +3

    i have never seen someone so similar to me i’m in love

  • @aashianahita5269
    @aashianahita5269 Рік тому +5

    I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR FAR TOO LONG

  • @estrellasjournal
    @estrellasjournal Рік тому +3

    Girl I was listening to podcasts on shuffle to go to sleep and in the middle of the night, I realized I was listening to call her daddy because of her voice but I was like why is this guest’s voice so soothing then went back to sleep. That was YOU. That makes so much sense.

  • @JuliMaria
    @JuliMaria Рік тому +6

    Oh my…I can relate so, so much. I always feel like a child, when I’m with people my age or even younger than me. I literally feel like a toddler lol. I’m also 23 and very short (5 feet 1) and I also feel like my body looks like a children’s body. Overall I am quite skinny, what I hate, but I got chubby thighs and it just looks weird and it makes me so shy and self conscious in social situations, although I am not a shy person in general. I feel like I will never feel like an adult or a sexy woman or something. One day it will just switch from toddler to grandma💀😂

  • @nikkigibbonsiscool
    @nikkigibbonsiscool Рік тому +2

    So glad you’re still in your car ❤

  • @franciscamorello1172
    @franciscamorello1172 Рік тому +5

    I genuinely want to be her friend

  • @listentome271
    @listentome271 Рік тому +1

    The stuff about friendships and one on one etc is so real

  • @angel.5013
    @angel.5013 Рік тому +1

    everything she says is literally me but she expresses it and tells ut in such a better way than i would

  • @Xo_y4smeen
    @Xo_y4smeen Рік тому +2

    She’s back finally 🙌🏾!!!

  • @Lululuce
    @Lululuce Рік тому +1

    I totally feel like this as v petite flat chested girlie i find myself tryna be ‘bigger’ in other ways instead of just accepting that i look young & my littleness doesn’t make me less of a person
    Love u

  • @tayrosea
    @tayrosea 25 днів тому +1

    you vocalized everything i feel

  • @Lyss006
    @Lyss006 Рік тому +2

    O M G SHES BACK

  • @chazzbt
    @chazzbt Рік тому +2

    Madeline I missed you so much ❤️❤️❤️

  • @Leorising711
    @Leorising711 6 місяців тому

    Man, i was the one just looking for the relationship rather than choosing her, I think that ultimately led to her breaking it off with me. Damn, I’ll reflect on that. I just found you after watching Shannon’s podcast. Good stuff.

  • @mirabellahaney2245
    @mirabellahaney2245 Рік тому

    They actually have refrigerated trucks! It’s how we get everything around basically. Anything you can think of, fuel, food, flowers, ANYTHING

  • @chantalbarazarte
    @chantalbarazarte Місяць тому +1

    LOVE YOUUU

  • @bloomera
    @bloomera Рік тому +1

    I've never related to anything more in my life..
    personally I grew up with different groups of friends my entire life. new season, new group of friends. it wasn't like I couldn't make or keep friends, I actually fit into all sorts of different cliches. but nobody ever grew on me, or I guess me on them, to where we become long-term friends. it's like everyone is meant to be an acquaintance and nothing more.. but that's the loneliest part I think. whenever I'm asked the question, "who's your best friend?" I just cant help but say myself...

  • @justinfelt748
    @justinfelt748 Рік тому +2

    Hi, Madeline! Happy Monday and welcome to the tenth month of October!😊😊😊😊😊😎☀💙💙💙💙💙💙🍂🎃🇺🇸🌷🇬🇧💜💜💜💜💜💜🍂🎇👍. Long time no see. I missed you and looking wonderful. I'm impressed!😀😍⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐👍. Also, your beautiful dog you have there in the car is so cute. Awwww!😍😍😍😍😍😍👍

  • @RosesSing323
    @RosesSing323 5 місяців тому

    I just watched your first two episodes, and I am literally crying rn bc even though I relate to so much, I thought this podcast was about being lonesome... it seems like you have a great support system. I'm happy for you but it just makes me feel more alone when I literally have no friends or supportive family

  • @quessiabuhinja
    @quessiabuhinja Рік тому +2

    Was watching the whole video and enjoyed it. I can relate to the friendship part. Loved how open and authentic you are. You seem like a cool and genuine person❤️

  • @ilysmaly
    @ilysmaly Рік тому +2

    the body type is so real .. we have the same silhouette and i feel the same about how im perceived

  • @Lulu_lucv
    @Lulu_lucv Рік тому +3

    My favorite podcast since the beginning 😻😻

  • @eustaquiozambrano2974
    @eustaquiozambrano2974 Рік тому +1

    Thank you so much.
    Ok I will see you next monday, in the mean time have a wonderful Day 👍

  • @KatieLeyden
    @KatieLeyden Рік тому

    AND THE NYC GIRL/COUNTRY GIRL THING OMLLLLIFE

  • @evan34701
    @evan34701 Рік тому

    “youre looking for a relationship youre not looking for me” couldnt of put it any better

  • @isabellaalguacil
    @isabellaalguacil Рік тому +1

    now, what this woman talks about, makes a real girlhood, I loveeeeeeeeee this videooooos

  • @MononokeHime29
    @MononokeHime29 Рік тому +3

    MADELINE all the shit you've describes is the same shit i have experienced too.. dude every single point was exactly what i went through goodness me. this felt so incredibly validating????

  • @lonnnna
    @lonnnna Рік тому +1

    so happy about the official podcast let’s goooooo

  • @isabellguerra9380
    @isabellguerra9380 Рік тому

    i relate so deeply on the wanting to be able to enjoy myself but not being able to and i feel like i’m missing out on life so deeply i thought i was the only one