I Was Diagnosed With ADHD // EP 2 - Pretty Lonesome
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- Опубліковано 17 лис 2024
- For the second episode of Pretty Lonesome, join Madeline as she gets cozy and vulnerable in her car. She opens up about her recent ADHD diagnosis after deciding to seek help. She admits that there have been signs pointing to this disorder in the early stages of her life, but it wasn’t until she sat down to record her first episode of her podcast that she realized how much her attention deficit issues were taking over her life. She remembers experiencing a lack of motivation in school, falling behind on her work, and being unable to commit to deadlines. Madeline has since decided to take control of her life and not let these past difficulties define her. As a first step in her healing journey, she’s no longer rotting and taking the easy way out - but forcing herself to be around people despite her general distaste for company.
I literally cried watching this video because this is exactly how I felt through sixth form. So incredibly powerless and pathetic and no one really understood how I felt, friends, teachers, parents just thought I was lazy. I remember so many nights I literally wouldn't sleep at all because I cared so much and I was so desperate to finish the overwhelming amount of overdue work but would just watch youtube videos trying to build up the courage to just start and to just do something even though I literally failed every single time. I have an appointment on the 21st of October to get diagnosed, so we'll see if things get better.
we are the same person
i was just coming to comment exactly this
so what is the result. do you really have it?
Don’t be stupid n go to the appointment u will forever be a sick person then.I had a friend who is a phycologist she saw me for 2mins n said I’m bipolar n have adhd n do I have it ?maybe but do I care ?no n I’m perfectly normal n heathy in every way n trust me if I got a diagnosis it would have made me take pill this that so just go workout meditation n you will be fine don’t go to the doctor
Exactly the same thing ! I cried my eyes out to this podcast because it described my whole life and i just thought i was a pathetic awful lazy person ... now I'm going to get diagnosed as well
I was also recently diagnosed too and this podcast is the most relatable thing ever
same here
as a 23 years old male, i'm not diagnosed with adhd (yet) but i literally cried hearing you describing the details of my life as if you where spying on me lmao. it makes me feel so ASHAMED to talk about it and share it with others.. so thank you. unlike you it is causing me depression as well as destroying my life and relationships..
having access to a diagnosis is really hard where i live.. i'll do what i can
i feel almost exactly the same way
it did cause her depression…
everything you said about stressing out the week leading up to the diagnosis and worrying you're just lazy is so real
Actually the treatment including some type of food that increase focus.
I have ADHD too and was diagnosed a few years ago, and since I discovered you Madeline, you are my comfort when I'm in those moment of freezing. Like you (for some reason) made me feel better when I was in my bed rotting, procrastinating, freeze phase which riddles me with guilt. Like, I put you on, and I forget that what I'm doing is an issue. This makes sense now. Thank u for existing x
If you keep telling yourself you are bed rotting and procrastinating cause of your adhd you will stay that way. If you change your mindset, and think you can do things no matter your adhd you wont have the same problems. Also Fix your sleep. I had severe problems with my adhd and these 2 things fixed it.
@@vhjvbhjb5280 I get “frozen” sometimes even if I really want to do something, I just can’t. My mindset plays a big role sometimes, yes, but it’s not just that. At least for me I can’t just push through all the time regardless of how hard I try or how much I want to, but the times that I have “pushed through” I just ended up feeling totally burnt out. The experience of that is already full of guilt so it doesn’t always help to hear things like “it’s you” or “it’s your mindset”. I think there are definitely ways to cope or ways to change your mindset, that’s true, but it’s not always easy and simple. And it’s not always you just “telling yourself”.
“Sometimes you can’t let yourself fall into the abyss”
I feel this so much because sometimes when you’re mentally broken down into pieces and want to be alone crying in your bedroom, it’s actually when you need people around you the most even if you don’t think you do.
if you think you have adhd as a girl and is looking at those questionnaires - my psychiatrist was specialized in adhd & autism and she said that when i was replying how "i do not do that thing, like getting to an appointment late, but that's because i have a system of x, y and z, all which eat up a lot of my day/brain capacity" that was enough. She said "ok, but take away those systems you have built for yourself - what would the answer be?" It was just that conversation for half the questions tbh.
i'm in uni and getting an adhd diagnosis made life make so much more sense, i'd gotten quite far mentally on my own, but it definitely made both daily life easier and made me both aware and resistant to when life does give you those bad twists and turns. at a certain point i used my savings to get the evaluation, because i could not continue to let my life and work as a student suffer, the money i would save by knowing in the long run made it worth it whatever the answer would be.
wishing all the newly diagnosed adhd people well!! congrats for making it this far
I didn't know about ADHD. A colleague at work once was diagnosed with depression and was treated as lazy. It is difficult for healthy people to understand mental illness. Thank you for your confession. Your mother must have worked very hard. I hope she continues to be active in the future. I became your fan・From Japan
oh my god I cant believe how much I resonate with this, its absolutely wild. Especially when youre talking about the freezing thing, where there's so much to get done, but none of it gets done bc of the consuming and overwhelming like blockage or wall that we put up in our brain right at the start of our day, that just debilitates us from being productive, even in the slightest bit. its so exhausting and I always thought everyone experienced this same setback later on in university where I realized its acc not normal, instead one of the many many symptoms of ADHD. I get it girl :(
First off: love Madz, truly
Second: something about proper English accent, so eloquently spoken, pushed through a profane, bright, articulate girl - it's like Hermione Granger if she watched way too much Netflix .. it's an amazing, original voice and I am HERE for it 🍿
Third: always better to have more information about yourself than less. The further you go in life you find everyone is, minimum, a little fu*ked up - the only difference is who knows themselves better, who has better countermeasures and coping mechanisms.
Madz is lovely, honest, much needed and must be protected at all cost. Do what YOU need to get through the day, all of you, please believe there is a 50% chance the person next to you on the bus or in line or at the grocery story is equally or more messed up than you and/or going through even worse sh$t than you.
Listen to Madeline, appreciate her honesty and challenge yourself to be that honest with yourself.
Awesome job Ms. Argy
Carry on Queen 👸🏻🥂
You are my cozy safe space, this is so inspiring to get medically tested love you xo
I hope this podcast will be so successful that she wouldn't stop doing it till she's like in her 90s or something I will definitely watch every single episode
I was so scared to listen bc I hate when people are neurodivergent like me but I'm struggling and they can manage it (and not to sound backhanded) , but this is actually so relatable. And the things where you stop yourself from showing symptoms is masking and it's so real
i am just now getting into this podcast and i just have to say that this episode made me cry because i had never heard someone say exactly what i’ve been feeling and experiencing all my life. thank you so much for sharing this ❤
this is the most fucking relatable thing i've ever seen in my life. I swear i could listen to you talk about this for hours on end
I have the same type of adhd…
this podcast was so comforting, because I feel less alone now and we are basically at the same step of figuring out how to deal with it
Pls share your journey 🙏🏼💕
got the same feeling
I literally just got diagnosed with the same type of ADHD as you and you don't know how much this means to me this is so extremely relatable. i absolutely loved this episode
This is exactly how I felt at first when I was diagnosed with ADHD at 16, I’m 19 now. I thought all my symptoms and things I did were just me. And a lot of signs of adhd I didn’t do because I was actively fighting it to try and seem normal :/ gaslighting myself
I recently got diagnosed too and now this episode explains why you’re my favorite social media person and why I find your story-telling so soothing for my brain.
I'm only one minute into the video but it's already so relatable. Before I got my diagnosis, I was also soooo scared of not having it because then there would be no explanation for me being the way I am. I spent my whole life having this weird underlying feeling that something is just different about me but I could never put my finger on it until my therapist suggested that maybe I had ADHD. Then when I got my diagnosis I felt so validated.
also the whole thing about the questions they ask you: so relatable. I was so critical of myself that I would even downplay my struggles a little bit just to make sure I wouldn't get a wrong diagnosis.
Fellow Adhd girlie… got diagnosed late too at age 21 after feeling so useless (esp in academic and work situations) for years!! The breaking point was flunking out of a class for the first time in uni and knowing I would have to spend thousands of dollars of my parents money to retake it. Feeling so guilty not being able to do tasks at work and letting ur team down is so relatable. Started therapy after the diagnosis and after a couple years learned my best combo is low dosage of vyvanse on extremely busy days and weekly therapy work best for me :) So excited for ur journey and thankful for ur transparency bringing this community together ❤
This is so relatable! I was loosely diagnosed with BPD, but the NHS declined me for therapy afterwards. I always feel like I have an extra filter in my head! I get so tired when socialising because I overthink everything before I say it or I have the impulse to interrupt and have to stop myself! Love your podcasts xxx
Really appreciate you being open about this, think you will be a great person to introduce others to this topic :)
You are killing it Madeline!!! Im glad you started this podcast you're so real and genuine!!
Its so nice to find someone who i relate to on so many levels! I feel like i might have ADHD & i should probably get tested but i have the same fear you had…what if i dont actually have it. Loved this podcast x
same! i feel like if i were to get tested it would be a waste of time or money because what if i don’t have it and i am just lazy and wanting an excuse for putting everything off
I feel that so much the “I’m a multi faceted person” when answering the questions
I wait monday ONLY for a new video podcast, thank you madeline
this podcast is my safe place! everything you say is so relatable you literally speak from my soul
i'm a 22 year old man and i haven't been diagnosed yet, as i never really thought i could have adhd as i'm not the hyperactive type i always thought adhd was. but i can relate to literally almost everything said in this video. its quite mad listening to this and knowing exactly what you mean. i've also suffered from social anxiety most of my life but its slowly getting better with medication and as i age. (also, when you said you paid £800 for a zoom consultation my jaw dropped. i live in Finland and healthcare is pretty much free here so its mind blowing to me how expensive it is in other countries.)
yeah in the UK diagnoses are also free and pretty much all healthcare, but the waiting list is huge and you won’t always be seen to so most people get it done privately and pay🥲 this can be so expensive it’s sad, my diagnosis was around £1000 privately
Thank you for speaking about your experience because I have the same concerns as you did. Feels like ADHD can be overlooked in females so your stories feels super validating! I’m on a waiting list to be tested and just want some closure after 22 years of feeling so different and disconnected
love the cozy vibe
Ugh ily soooo much. Your so effortlessly beautiful and genuine. DONT STOP BEING U GIRL X
Your experience with the questionnaire is so relatable! Thank you for talking about this.
I have missed your podcast episodes sooo much! So happy to have seen your platform grow, you deserve all you’re receiving from what you’re achieving. 💞
Three minutes deep, and I can already tell that this channel will be one of my best discoveries.
Subbed.
I really just enjoy listening to you talk. It’s relaxing!! Seeing you post really makes day even better ✨
For me I have cptsd and freeze response is my main response to nervous system issues, but i also have adhd. Look into how the nervous system works, if you feel so overwhelmed that you will not be able to do what you need to do, your brain will freeze bc it’s already accepted your fate. The most important thing is to avoid overwhelming yourself by managing your environment ahead of time ( like cleaning your room ) bc that will distract you From your tasks. I am going to reply with extremely helpful videos to this.
Same things here plz respond with the helpful videos!!
hey, madeline:) i have got bipolar disorder and it was really hard when i was undiagnosed, but once i started taking my meds, my life almost instantly got better. it kind of became my superpower to an extent. mental illness is not something to be ashamed of, its just your brain being wired differently. i can’t wait for your new content and i wish you all the best
this podcast is just everything
My pleasure to listen ❤ . It's somehow educating me and it feels like i'm indulging myself more into your warmly spoken podcasts than ever before.
I was waiting for a neurodivergence diagnosis from you ;) us ASD/ADHDers can spot it a mile a way
gross
weird comment
for real@@lachlane3971
Hard read
cringe af
I feel like this is your most personal video yet or maybe it's just because I've also been diagnosed a year ago. I also want to believe that I can live a consistent life when things are going well. I started running almost every day and that has helped me gain confidence to be consistent in other parts of my life.
pause mode is more commonly known as adhd paralysis, (ADHD paralysis, also known as executive dysfunction or task paralysis, refers to the inability to initiate, complete, or sustain tasks due to overwhelming feelings of anxiety, stress, or mental fatigue) hope that helps x
Never be busy again plsssss i neeeeeed your podcast weekly bishhhhh
Wow, this is so relatable to me. I got diagnosed a few years ago. I struggle so much with what I call ‘the hole’ (you call rotting or pause mode). I’ve tried stimulant medication but it made me very sad during the daily comedowns/withdrawals even if it helped motivate me for the first hours.
I am the exact same and I was due to family ties diagnosed very early on, but I have never actually taken the time to understand what it did to me, it was just always there and a part of me, and I blamed myself for being how I was. This video truly was very validating. And very needed! Thank you for speaking on it
i have adhd and had a very similar experience being diagnosed. thank you for this. this really helped me feel less alone❤❤
i am so happy about this episode because i got diagnosed 3 weeks ago and i did feel kind of alone with everything but to see i‘m not the only one struggling with certain things is kinda a relief?
from a young girl on the waiting list thank you Madeline
As someone that can diagnosed at 7 yrs old im only now at 16 learning about what adhd means and getting help and support this is so comforting to me because i can never get anything done or finish a task and i know other people have the same struggles
It's called Task Paralysis - I suffered with this so badly! I've been on meds since July and I can not believe how much they have changed my life!
What medication are u on if u don’t mind me asking?
Of course not! I take 70mg Elvanse
I was diagnosed in 2018 as an adult and learnt so. much about myself. Not that I am managing it well lol. But that mid-segment on brain rot is so spot on. Thanks for the explanation on it, so useful. This is the first episode I've watched on your podcast, and I just wanted to say that you're amazing!! :)
And just to say…wonderful insights here! What a wonderful vlog you’ve published today!
I really love your podcast!!!❤ and also I wanted to say that your are so brave to open your heart again and again after those breakups!
i’ve never resonated with something more in my life
Oh dear, I really, finally, need to get a diagnosis...I feel everything youre saying!!! Thank you so much for your being
i am not diagnosed but i dont think i have ever felt so seen, especially the part about 'pause mode' holy shit
This was an interesting podcast. I have ADHD as well, but for years before, I could never figure out what was wrong with me. I would always feel like I was different than those around me but couldn't understand why. I would do things that seemed fine to me, but others would think I was a joker or someone not to be taken seriously.
I had tried many different SSRIs, but they made me feel horrible, akin to your experience. Consequently, I was just raw-dogging it through life, without really going anywhere. I had become enveloped in shame for not reaching the potential in my life that I clearly had, according to others. I was getting older and older yet I felt like I never quit being 18.
Understanding ADHD is such a game-changer. When you realize that you are not alone and that so many other people are just like you, it can really go a long way in breaking the shackles that have bound you. Also, medication is amazing as well. Unfortunately, the UK is not good at dealing with ADHD, and most people are likely to get diagnosed with a mood disorder years before ADHD (most likely because doctors don't take ADHD seriously or don't understand it).
With you, it was obvious to me that something was going on behind the scenes just after watching one or two of your videos. The ADHD diagnosis does make sense given your way of thinking, how you speak, the stories you tell, etc.
I love the night setup. it’s everything.
recently got diagnosed with adhd, the "pause mode" is called executive dysfunction!
looking at the symptoms of that makes so much sense
As someone who got diagnosed this year I cannot wait to watch this
I got diagnosed a year ago best thing that ever happened to me. You realise u are not the problem u just have a problem.
also try vyvanse for medication that's the best one i've tried so far also pause mode is called executive dysfunction it's a core symptom of adhd.
as a guy with autism I appreciate hearing the pov of a neurodivergent's girls .tysm
This was very enlightening and I related a lot to this episode. I also struggle with "rotting" and having to pick myself up from the floor and I applaud you for finding healthy coping mechanisms. I also now believe I should be tested for ADHD as well HAHAHAHA
I love these podcasts sm, love u Madeline
I KNEW IT CAUSE YOU KEPT JUMPING BETWEEN TOPICS
This is my favourite podcast. Madeline is lowkey that friend that doesn't know I exist but gets me 😂❤
you are so cuuuute I love listening to you❤ I'm glad I found you
this episode and ur videos in general are so comforting, I related to this episode sm as someone who ik am struggling with some mental health but dont know whats the cause some of the things you talked about i feel like I relate too.
Wishing you a speedy recovery
I love listening to you talk🥰
10:25 Stimulants are prescribed for all types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive, combined, so, if your doctor said that, they're wrong.
For hyperactive ADHDers, who appear to have a lot of energy externally, stimulants work the same way as in other types: they stimulate the brain that is understimulated due to not being able to use its dopamine effectively. Without medication, that brain will try to gather the dopamine it needs from the outside world, causing outside hyperactivity; this is why hyperactive ADHDers also get stimulants prescribed.
The falling into the abyss part is so real
Most people can get the diagnosis nowadays due to lack of attention span, thanks to shorts and tiktok. I got my dagnosis at 8 i have had severe struggles with it. Now after changing a few things i dont really have problems anymore. Some think that just because you have adhd you cant focus for a long while on something boring, thats not true you just have to practice. But most people rather live with the excuse than put in the effort. ADHD should never be used as an excuse thats when you let it take over your life. What ever you do, dont go on medication. It only masks your symtoms it doenst fix the problem. Changing from a victim mindset (i cant do this and this because of my adhd). To a mindset were you believe you can do everything you just have to practice a lot harder is vital. Then fixing your sleep cause sleep recharges your dopamine, getting sunlight in the morning. Meditation is something that is the easiest way to practice focusing on something you dont want to focus on. Ive been on concerta 108mg while barely sleeping. I had no idea how important sleep was, my doctors never told me anything about how improving habits can help, they just upped my dosage. Improving your sleep, excercise and diet, are the 3 only things that will make all of your problems easier. ADHD is a lower level of baseline thats why we have trouble focusing on things that dont give us dopamine, cause we are constantly looking for it. And when we find it its like we havent drank water for days and find a lake, we just want to do that thing for hours and stock up on dopamine. The ultimate solution to adhd is 2 weeks without any screens. A guy that andrew huberman knew struggled severly with adhd and did 2 weeks of any screens. And saw imense improvment.
Am a very filtered/socially attentive man and I had the same thought with the diagnosis! Def agree on gender bias obvs. For me the childhood questionnaire from my parents came out low for the same reason. This stuff is all massively internal for me
Me too! It is sort of relieving to know there is a reason for my struggles
thank you so much for this
girl do a house tour when u get the apartment and decorate it!!!! lysm xxxxx
You're such an amazing person. Hopefully life gets easier for you now, agree you do need your own space. Have a great week looking forward to your next podcast.
i recently have gotten diagnosed with it and everything just started making sense. i thought i was just slow and lazy but my lack of motivation started making sense alongside my procrastination.
This was very therapeutic thank you. My consultation was $25 in 2021 tho yo. Monthly $25 counseling meetings to discuss the medication (stimulants).
I had the exact same doubt that I wouldn't get diagnosed because I answered no to that question about interrupting people, as I am a woman and have a very high level of self-awarnesss but the urge to interrupt is always there and so I don't. But I got diagnosed with ADHD literally last week. It's so unfair the test is obviously designed inherently for males.
I have inattentive adhd and I used to feel so rude when I’d interrupt people but sometimes I physically can’t stop myself otherwise I will forget it but recently I’ve got used to stopping myself from interrupting💀 But it’s literally so hard😭 Also I got diagnosed at 18 cos I struggled so much through sixthform as there’s not a structured day but I’m on medication now and it’s helped so much!
Having adhd I have a similar relationship with my mom, honestly I feel like she is my best friend
And my only friend 😅
Knowing is a good thing, so is knowing at your age. There is medication that really helps.
I am waiting for my adhd diagnosis makes me feel so seen thank you
I am 20 and was diagnosed at the start of this year. Your videos have helped me so much. We seem to have gone through an unbelievable amount of similar experiences and have very similar responses it actually blows my mind. I know for me it completely changed my life to be diagnosed and on medication. Finally understanding why I just couldn't function like other kids and people and why I struggled with anxiety and depression and hearing people talk despite my ears working fine (APD) and so many other things. I used to just think I was a bad person and it was all my fault. I also struggle with general anxiety, depression, OCD and PTSD as well as physical chronic illness (quite the cocktail I know) so things are still hard but meds have truly made a big difference. I am on 50mg Vyvanse and it helps me so much with motivation and actually being able to just get up and power through things. The only side effect I have is low appetite. I already struggled a bit with OCD related thing with food so it is hard. I need to force myself to eat often but its still so worth it!
Ill also add I talked about you to my psychologist because one of your other videos helped me into a mindset that is a huge breakthrough with my PTSD :)
The not wanting know period is painfully relatable
you should look into the DIVA questionnaire, there is an online one you can take. It's so much better when it comes to getting our perspective as a woman and not the classical boy with ADHD thing
(I will also not trade my s3x drive for nothing) In your recent video you talked about how things are supposed to happen basically and that was the first video I saw of yours. I’m gonna cry because I decided to go to your channel and subscribe bc of your energy and I was also just recently at 20 years old diagnosed with adhd and have been struggling. Thank you for your content 🥹
You are so lovely and down to earth, really was struggling today this is exactly what I needed babe ❤ so cute to see other queer fems in the wild
the whole digging a whole to lie in and stay sad when u get sad is literally me and I was just talking about it with my friend so the timing is wild
Argy's mom has no arms? this girl just keeps getting more interesting.
adhd overachiever here, realised i had adhd in third year when despite getting firsts when i did submit, i started to find it impossible to attend class or write even a sentence. suspended, got diagnosed with combined type ADHD and two years later on, finally ready to write essays again..
the emotional discussion is so fucking relevant.... i will always be overjoyed and i will always despair
Can we have Mommy in the podcast please. She sounds so fab!
I love the cozy vibe
I was diagnosed with ADHD 5 years ago (age 14). I didn't really understand my diagnosis at the time (except for thinking of the sterotypical ADHD kid who just couldn't sit still). So my teacher convinced me to tell my class as an "excuse" for why I would act certain ways. It really fucked me up that she used my diagnosis as an excuse for my behavior. It was such a weird thing for her to say and I ended up feeling like an alien in a way (sounds weird). But I got really upset thinking I was "an annoying kid". Until I realized I've always been like that. The letters don't define who I am. They're just letters to help understand myself better.
Also, growing up in middle school I was sent outside the door Idk 4-5 times from 1st-4th grade. I was always told my homework wasn't done properly and my teacher told me to "stop acting like madonna" (because I was being loud). At that time noone even had the thought to get me diagnosed. When I then started 5th grade at a different school I got this "filter" you also mentioned in your video. I was not myself. I acted in a way that wasn't me. I didn't like myself. But because of social standards I had to be this way to be accepted. It messed me up really bad. I was then "the quiet kid". I get really upset thinking about it because I pretended to be someone I wasn't. Now I've realized this. I'm trying to find my true self again. The "Madonna". I love being different from everyone else. I had confidence being different. But because of all the trouble I got in I decided I had to be someone else. I'm learning to find me again. I hope if you're a girl out there who experienced something similar. Please don't change to be someone you're not. Social standards are only there because we choose to accept them. Let's make new social standards of being ourselves.
thank you for sharing❤️🩹
thank u for this podcast
Now it makes sense why I relate to you so much