Can you be friends with your Ex? | Tony Gaskins

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  • Опубліковано 20 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @rayfeaster4969
    @rayfeaster4969 4 роки тому +897

    My ex-fiancé broke up with me and married someone else 5 months afterwards. Very painful 💔. During that 5 months he would call and text, but I did not respond. I went full no contact. Even after his "marriage" he has still reached out. I blocked him! God recently brought someone amazing and BETTER into my life and I've found happiness again. You MUST let that door stay closed or it will tie you up!!

    • @bernaldulce
      @bernaldulce 4 роки тому +33

      Thank you for this! My ex fiancé just broke up with me if 5yrs so imma just remain closing that door

    • @marybenford
      @marybenford 4 роки тому +33

      @Ms Ray The counterfeit before the covenant! I'm glad you waited for God's best!! Blessings!!

    • @aishacansler8183
      @aishacansler8183 4 роки тому +24

      I have a similar story. I have no grudge but I am not interested in contact at all. I don't want any mixed misconceptions or ideas that there might me a chance. It is OVER. That must be understood. I'm happy now.

    • @bernaldulce
      @bernaldulce 4 роки тому +8

      Aisha Cansler I get it!! In my case idk I just feel like it’s not over and we made a mistake by walking away, but I’m not going to change anyone’s mind and I never will so I’m going to continue to grieve and continue to allow God to do his thing

    • @nellyp5997
      @nellyp5997 4 роки тому +5

      Wow. That is so tough! Thank Good you got through it 🙏🏼

  • @tanitrarobinson7477
    @tanitrarobinson7477 4 роки тому +538

    When you take out the trash you don't go back and get it.

    • @ericabostwick4033
      @ericabostwick4033 4 роки тому +1

      TaNitra Robinson yes and amen sis

    • @rjefferson3966
      @rjefferson3966 4 роки тому +3

      Ooh yes I love this one 💚

    • @BMarie08
      @BMarie08 4 роки тому +3

      A message ! 💯

    • @adel8632
      @adel8632 4 роки тому +1

      Maybe you date trash, but I don't. I don't understand that kind of disdain for a man.

    • @tanitrarobinson7477
      @tanitrarobinson7477 4 роки тому +13

      @@adel8632 not here to defend or explain. You have the ability and power to keep it moving if it doesn't apply to you....Stay blessed Queen.

  • @andthnwat
    @andthnwat 4 роки тому +508

    Short answer: No
    Long answer: Nope

  • @rjefferson3966
    @rjefferson3966 4 роки тому +431

    It's a no for me. When I am done I don't go backwards nor do I want to be a friend. You wasn't a friend in the relationship so just accept the loss.

    • @shirlsshirls8594
      @shirlsshirls8594 4 роки тому +5

      R Jefferson 🙌🏾

    • @DynamicallyDC
      @DynamicallyDC 4 роки тому +21

      I feel the same 🙌🏾...if you didn't have my best interests then, you won't have them after the fact.

    • @rjefferson3966
      @rjefferson3966 4 роки тому +4

      @@DynamicallyDC I completely agree with you 💯

    • @trishataylor2837
      @trishataylor2837 4 роки тому +3

      I guess i really was not his friend because I was the transparent one. I never had any trouble being honest and open. He on the other hand has this silence about him. A close offness not wanting to share what he goes through. it's so frustrating when someone you love does not want to be accountable.

    • @merlinsvdd
      @merlinsvdd 4 роки тому +1

      @@trishataylor2837 true. You apologize and say you forgive him but no word comes out of his mouth.

  • @natashadunbar6330
    @natashadunbar6330 3 роки тому +86

    He doesn't want you.
    He wants the woman that he's with...he just wants to be in your life. 💥

    • @ShevetteJackson
      @ShevetteJackson 2 роки тому +5

      But why??

    • @ADayInTheLifeOfJames
      @ADayInTheLifeOfJames 4 місяці тому

      @@ShevetteJackson it doesn’t matter why… What matters is the reason you’re asking instead of moving forward?

    • @ShevetteJackson
      @ShevetteJackson 4 місяці тому

      @@ADayInTheLifeOfJames I wasn't asking a question sweetie I was responding to somebody else question.

  • @14kurtismiller
    @14kurtismiller 4 роки тому +418

    You can't be friends with your ex, one or both are on stand by for whenever the other person comes back for sex, emotional support and more. Those things should be shared with your new partner not some past love. Some people who hold onto being friends with their ex, are not really into their new partner and holding onto hope for the past being rekindled. This does not give either persons new relationship a really good try.

    • @laina1976
      @laina1976 4 роки тому +3

      Well said.

    • @dbedazzling1
      @dbedazzling1 4 роки тому

      Yes they need options

    • @butterflytv3194
      @butterflytv3194 4 роки тому

      Facts

    • @ingood0867
      @ingood0867 4 роки тому +12

      Exactly,I never saw the purpose remaining friends.

    • @GrandAirTrineAstro
      @GrandAirTrineAstro 4 роки тому +16

      You are spot on! I walked away from guy who was ‘best friends’ with his ‘ex’ he has kids with but it was way more than kids talk he’d hang out at her house, take the family on holidays in 2018/2019, dinners, etc she wouldn’t move on and he wouldn’t commit to me. She kicked his ass out initially than year later she found out about me and wanted him back so I got dumped. I was told they were split up years ago (lie of course) and I had no reason to think otherwise as they live apart. One thing for certain he lost me for good. I’m not like the ‘ex’ I don’t take him back I respect myself and learned many valuable lessons.

  • @Moonpiebye
    @Moonpiebye 4 роки тому +318

    Listen up LADIES..if a man run up in another woman ..he just showed you the true colors NEVER GO BACK .DO NOT GIVE SECOND CHANCES.. COMMON SENSE 2020💥💥💥💥

    • @14kurtismiller
      @14kurtismiller 4 роки тому +31

      And never think that your his friend or anything more than a second opportunity. You break your own heart before any man can. You either stay with a man when you clearly see he's no good, or you fool yourself into thinking he sticks around to be your friend. A man who won't let go is a man that can't say no if the opportunity presents itself for him to be with you sexually.

    • @Glamrocs
      @Glamrocs 4 роки тому +1

      Facts..

    • @remainhumble6654
      @remainhumble6654 4 роки тому +1

      Amen...so true.

    • @kay-annclarke9501
      @kay-annclarke9501 4 роки тому +4

      Ladies. If you want to learn. You better listen to this man.

    • @akuasalaam490
      @akuasalaam490 4 роки тому

      You said that!!!

  • @Sundaydoug278
    @Sundaydoug278 Рік тому +9

    Leave that ex alone. Have faith you’ll find better.
    If you’re dating someone- you should not be talking to your ex.

  • @beverlycrittendon4495
    @beverlycrittendon4495 4 роки тому +138

    "Men hate rejection"

  • @MichaeldBenefield
    @MichaeldBenefield 4 роки тому +312

    Dont block your blessings, fear will try to keep you holding on to things for a backup. Let go and move forward. I've been happily married 8yrs, and tony is being 100% LISTEN TO MEH NAH (IN TONY'S VOICE)😂🙏✊🏾

    • @butterflytv3194
      @butterflytv3194 4 роки тому +6

      Well said "don't block your blessings"

    • @merlinsvdd
      @merlinsvdd 4 роки тому +3

      Amen.

    • @8lack8erry1
      @8lack8erry1 4 роки тому +2

      😂

    • @MichaeldBenefield
      @MichaeldBenefield 3 роки тому +3

      @Hesonmymind very true! Don’t be an option. You deserve to be a priority.

    • @triciamokoena3156
      @triciamokoena3156 3 роки тому +4

      I wish I knew this before ! I kept being friends with my ex and even told him openly I'm still having feelings for him.
      But for some months now I was listening a bit on a relationship channel once in a while and realized my error.
      I got empowered. He even commented that I have changed.
      I went ahead to block him on my phone and presently am working on being the best version of myself.
      The beauty of it is : I like what I see in me and you won't believe it, I'm over sixty.

  • @chantemckeithan372
    @chantemckeithan372 Рік тому +14

    If you didn't treat me right when we were together, then why would I need you as my friend? Nope, I'm good. Carry on.

  • @westafricangirl
    @westafricangirl 4 роки тому +202

    Amennnnnnnnnn. I said this to my ex and he got so mad.
    If I want a serious relationship someday (with him or not), I need to clear that space for someone serious.
    Move on from that man. They ALL come back. No matter how long it takes. Stop worrying about that. Leave for YOU! And be serious about it. Honestly the more days he doesn’t “come back”, the easier it is to move on.

    • @andreasteptoe1965
      @andreasteptoe1965 4 роки тому +4

      Amen

    • @suzy1750
      @suzy1750 4 роки тому +10

      I've found this is true. If you leave with dignity and don't look back, the guy usually does come back at some point (assuming it was a good relationship). Of course, you usually don't want him by that point anyway but gotta admit that there is still satisfaction in it!

    • @MultiTasker888
      @MultiTasker888 2 роки тому +1

      They all come back? Sounds pretty ignorant 😂 goes both ways I don't reach out to my exes

    • @westafricangirl
      @westafricangirl 2 роки тому +2

      @@MultiTasker888 great for you. To think anyone else is like you us ignorant. They always come back. Good day.

    • @gabesdaddyjamar
      @gabesdaddyjamar 2 роки тому

      @@westafricangirl im like him! I don't reach out either. Once I'm gone I'm gooonnne!

  • @marybenford
    @marybenford 4 роки тому +233

    Some people (women) never had control in the relationship, so they feel flattered when their ex wants to stay in touch, then manipulates by dipping in and out of their life, often preventing them from moving on. Staying "friends" for the kids is not being mature, it's misleading to them. You don't have to be hateful or angry, but if someone betrays you, breaks a covenant/commitment, they're NOT your friend. Maintaining standards is the best lesson that you can teach your kids

    • @marybenford
      @marybenford 4 роки тому +5

      @@kimberlybarry4744 absolutely. Don't voluntarily sign up for foolishness. I'm sorry you went thru that. There is sanity and decent people on the other side. Blessings, Sis!

    • @alamaurjones6338
      @alamaurjones6338 4 роки тому

      💯💯💯

    • @lwontherez7927
      @lwontherez7927 3 роки тому

      I’m SO GLAD you said this!!!

    • @brininahoward5445
      @brininahoward5445 3 роки тому

      Children have to see what friendship is about and two people that have children can be friends and co-parents at the same time. Males and Females can still be friends, but your ex-fill in the blank, can be your friend in respects to your children seeing growth and understanding and teamwork from both parent (friends). Let's not get confused on friends and what that mean.

    • @ButterCookie1984
      @ButterCookie1984 Рік тому

      Very well said!

  • @Nekole1
    @Nekole1 4 роки тому +128

    Once a relationship ends for me, then I dont see the need to keep the person around. I find that many people just want to be noisy and in your business and not in a good way. So I avoid all contact. Thats it for me. I dont see the need to keep communicating.

    • @itsme3k
      @itsme3k 4 роки тому +9

      You and me both girl. I'm such a witch if an ex calls me!

    • @nadinemartin9512
      @nadinemartin9512 3 роки тому

      True

  • @breewright8702
    @breewright8702 4 роки тому +152

    Exes are Exes for a reason.....Stay Gone!
    Can we be friends-No
    Can I call You-Neaux
    Can We Meet Up-Nope

    • @Liimoncello
      @Liimoncello 4 роки тому +7

      Bree Wright Preach, sis!

    • @marybenford
      @marybenford 4 роки тому +9

      😂😂😂😭😭😭😭@Neaux

    • @patriciawatkins8248
      @patriciawatkins8248 4 роки тому +9

      @bree wright- You are Absolutely correct. Don't go back it will backfire! I tried it a few times never ended well.

    • @abigailkamara2675
      @abigailkamara2675 4 роки тому +1

      Bree Wright I don’t do that exes thing it’s past boyfriend/girlfriend

    • @Shay4YourMind81
      @Shay4YourMind81 4 роки тому +3

      "Neaux" 😁😂🤣

  • @Latinaperspective
    @Latinaperspective 4 роки тому +167

    One thing I’ve noticed about girls in their 30’s who have never been married or had kids are those stuck on an ex. That ex is usually the one standing in the doorway blocking traffic, refusing to come in or out your life. I was in that position for almost 10 years. I even used to play around saying “ Are you contacting me for a fix or something.” Because after contacting me he would distance himself again. Thanks to your videos I’ve learned to ignore his texts and calls and plan to keep it that way forever.

    • @kikinyte6806
      @kikinyte6806 4 роки тому +6

      I second that 🙋🏿‍♀️ was stuck for 3 years... Focusing on the next ❤️

    • @p.s.3982
      @p.s.3982 4 роки тому +2

      Awesome....Don't give in.....

    • @afrohersheys22
      @afrohersheys22 4 роки тому +1

      KiKi Nyte same!! Been on standby for three years...smh

    • @tracirowland3353
      @tracirowland3353 4 роки тому +2

      It's them 40 and 50 year old women too. Smdh!!

    • @Latinaperspective
      @Latinaperspective 4 роки тому

      Traci Rowland 😅

  • @marishalewis484
    @marishalewis484 4 роки тому +149

    Love is a gamble. A relationship is a gamble & sometimes you lose. If you have lost-move on~Tony Gaskins

    • @dimediamond
      @dimediamond 4 роки тому +7

      Every loss is not a loss ❤

    • @marishalewis484
      @marishalewis484 4 роки тому +6

      Dimepiece 954 True Lady. I don’t even look at things as a loss-I figure out the lesson 😉

    • @dimediamond
      @dimediamond 4 роки тому +4

      @@marishalewis484 take your losses in private. ❤ its a much better outcome. ❤

  • @jessybil
    @jessybil 4 роки тому +72

    I'm the type of person to ignore your entire existence, if we break up. Sometimes you just have to cut off what is holding you back like the good book says.

  • @thecalmingspace7242
    @thecalmingspace7242 Рік тому +20

    My exes all treated me horribly. I worked on myself. Met my husband and got married. AS SOON AS I GOT MARRIED, two of my exes got back in contact with me, even if they were also married themselves. My husband and I made a decision not to even have exes any where near us in our lives. Like a general " no ex" rule and we have had a thriving marriage since.
    I just basically don't see where exes " fit" in a marriage and why you would hold on to them. It makes absolute no sense to me whatsoever

  • @AllThingsTiffanyTV
    @AllThingsTiffanyTV 4 роки тому +69

    If he’s a Ex....BLOCKEDDDDDDTTTTTT.

  • @joyleneyork6540
    @joyleneyork6540 4 роки тому +109

    I don't want to ever be friends with my ex matter fact I got them on block both of them

    • @Liimoncello
      @Liimoncello 4 роки тому +7

      Joylene Robertson YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

    • @ms.camillewarrenempress31
      @ms.camillewarrenempress31 4 роки тому +8

      Same here. My ex try to come back but in a whole another relationship and expose it on social media .. smh. Focusing on my kids and family God

    • @sharicebryant8149
      @sharicebryant8149 4 роки тому +10

      Same. A lot of men think blocking is childish and shows that we still care but it’s honestly for our own healing and breaking the soul tie, especially if they were ever physical with us.

    • @bernaldulce
      @bernaldulce 4 роки тому +7

      I blocked my ex fiancé of 5yrs 🤷🏽‍♀️ oh well my sister said I was bold for doing that and I’m like well oh well lol I can’t be friends with him! Mainly because I’ll probably want to hurt him so this way I’m safe lol

    • @joyleneyork6540
      @joyleneyork6540 4 роки тому +7

      @@bernaldulce a lot of times you have to block him because you need to heal and move on with your life

  • @louwil67
    @louwil67 4 роки тому +63

    Tony that revenge spirit is real. Some men will welcome you to come back and treat you worse than they did before you left. It’s not worth it. Cause if you as a woman left , you had a reason.

  • @betterhealth1651
    @betterhealth1651 4 роки тому +77

    Relationships are too complicated Tony. I am only 22 years old, i am too young for this. Bye

    • @xxqueenofdarkness
      @xxqueenofdarkness 9 місяців тому +4

      If I knew these things at 22.... Giiirl ;-;

  • @1qbee403
    @1qbee403 4 роки тому +68

    Wow ! Needed this... I’ve been so stuck. He’ gave me mixed signals for 2 years, truth is, he tolerated me, but didn’t value me. He only seen me when it was convenient for him! This is very much my fault, I allowed this to go on too long. Finally... I’m waking up, still hard. Slowly moving forward. Wishing him the best and hope he finds what he didn’t see in me 💓

    • @mulalomercytshivhilinge4913
      @mulalomercytshivhilinge4913 4 роки тому +3

      I was in the same dilemma for 2.5 years. Multiple on and off, and finally I decided to move on. I now have a good guy. Now my ex wants to come back.

    • @infamousnikkicole4946
      @infamousnikkicole4946 4 роки тому +5

      The best feeling is when you wake up out of a relationship

    • @nadinemartin9512
      @nadinemartin9512 3 роки тому +4

      Don't blame yourself. He took your kindness for weakness. Your a wonderful person and you deserve better.

    • @NTUNKNOWN
      @NTUNKNOWN 3 роки тому +2

      My ex and I were "friends" on and off for a year after our "relationship". Today I've decided to really end it. Been crying the whole day but I'm strong. I can handle this. His loss not mine.

  • @ebonyflowers7599
    @ebonyflowers7599 4 роки тому +126

    Like Tony says, “y’all worried about the wrong thing.”

    • @14kurtismiller
      @14kurtismiller 4 роки тому +4

      Its called being smart not worried. People often want what they can't have, thats why an ex tries to get back with you. When an ex doing bad relationship wise, or any aspect of their life you start to look a whole lot better to them. Suddenly everything you needed from them they are willing to do just to get back into your life. Half the exes you have were and are still jealous so they'll try to get back with you just to cause problems in your new relationship. Some people will lie forever pretending as if its a matter of confidence when you don't care if your current partner accepts you and your ex still communicating. If your not going to seek out advise from people who keep it real you will be the next person who gets back with their ex for a fling, or cheated on because your mate could not get over their past and give 1000% with you.

  • @KrystleLaughter
    @KrystleLaughter 4 роки тому +174

    Anyone elelse hit the like button before the video even starts. 😂

    • @rozh8321
      @rozh8321 4 роки тому +5

      🙋..point blank perioadd.

    • @Glamrocs
      @Glamrocs 4 роки тому +1

      Krystle Laughter
      Every time

    • @lillianthomas9046
      @lillianthomas9046 4 роки тому +2

      Ummmmmm...not as SOON as the video starts...l ll give in a 5 min run first🤣🤣🤣...smile

    • @kikinyte6806
      @kikinyte6806 4 роки тому

      Always

    • @et427
      @et427 4 роки тому

      Yep every time!

  • @jackksterr
    @jackksterr 4 роки тому +31

    I’d rather mop the ocean before I ever think about being friends with an ex. If it’s over, it’s over. Including us talking. Period. No hard feelings. Just wouldn’t want my future man still in contact with his ex. Why not live my truth so future bae respects my standards bc he sees I’m a living testimony. ✌🏼

    • @Jazzy_Elevations
      @Jazzy_Elevations 3 роки тому

      Girl I'm dealing w this crap now, working on an exit plan. He has the exes who just like to "check up" on him. It's turned into secret almost daily txt msgs saying "I wish you could show me the love you have now" from the ex. So yeah, for him to entertain to defines our relationship

  • @nathalia504
    @nathalia504 4 роки тому +51

    This was truly powerful! For some women who've been done wrong, it seems validating when an ex tried to come back. It gives them validation that they were not the problem. However, you dont need validation from a person who probably never valued you anyway. You are enough sis! Fix your crown and move forward.

  • @Moonpiebye
    @Moonpiebye 4 роки тому +228

    You can not be friends with someone you want to have sexual realtions with..FOLKS stop with the cuddy buddy mess..😎 be by yourself for yourself and chill ..date yourself 🤑.

    • @tanitrarobinson7477
      @tanitrarobinson7477 4 роки тому +10

      Been saying the same thing...enjoy yourself!

    • @ingood0867
      @ingood0867 4 роки тому +6

      Yes, people look at me like I have 3 heads when I say I don't stay friends with exes. You leave me, you just left. 🤷‍♀️

    • @tanitrarobinson7477
      @tanitrarobinson7477 4 роки тому

      @@ingood0867 lol lol I agree!

    • @Joycelang2495
      @Joycelang2495 4 роки тому

      Keep up the good work .

  • @rara2202
    @rara2202 4 роки тому +49

    I definitely experienced leaving a good guy and then tried to come back . He played me the whole time 🤷🏾‍♀️ lesson learned

  • @MsBdoll87
    @MsBdoll87 4 роки тому +66

    Wow! My ex reached out to me a yr after our break up. I asked God what to do, my devotional was about leaving the past behind and the scripture was Isaiah 43:18-19. I log on to You Tube and see this message from you! Thank you for being obedient! God is good! I got a lot of answers from this!

  • @a1xluv
    @a1xluv 4 роки тому +72

    You are ABSOLUTELY correct about men: they will stay with a woman who meets what he wants physically and she has a terrible attitude and does nothing he likes, over the one who loves him and treats him good, however, may not be what he wants physically! Sadly, they miss out on their true blessing! And yes, people marry for financial and looks! There’s so many shallow men out here still missing their rib! Many shallow women being abused missing out on a good man!

  • @sincerelysandrea7857
    @sincerelysandrea7857 4 роки тому +101

    Ladies this is some valuable information okkkk! And in addition to what Tony said about the reason your ex is with someone else, the other reason could be because that woman is allowing the disrespect and grown boy behavior that you decided to no longer tolerate. Never let a man think you need him because he’ll automatically put you in the desperate category. You have to tell yourself you are good regardless. As long as you got God that’s all you need! 💯💯💯

    • @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214
      @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214 4 роки тому +3

      Queen Drea I needed to hear this.

    • @sincerelysandrea7857
      @sincerelysandrea7857 4 роки тому +7

      V. Marie No problem! We may not know eachother personally but we’re all apart of the blessed tribe and we are God’s daughters and deserve nothing but the best💖

    • @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214
      @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214 4 роки тому +2

      Queen Drea Aaaamen!

    • @sincerelysandrea7857
      @sincerelysandrea7857 4 роки тому +4

      Shawny Love You’re so welcome!😉 You’re not the only one trust me. I’ve been in a place where I felt like I needed validation too. It’s in our nature to want to be validated and receive words of affirmation but the important thing to think about first is who is that validation coming from? Someone that cares about you and has your best interest at heart? If not then we need to keep it moving. It’s okay to appreciate compliments but be mindful of looking for validation from just anyone😊 You validate yourself and speak life into yourself. You are good enough, you are beautiful, God didn’t make a mistake when he formed you and you’re special to him. As long as you keep those things in mind you won’t need anyone else’s opinion. Remember who God says you are! He loves you more than you know!🥰💜💖

    • @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214
      @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214 4 роки тому

      Queen Drea A guy I was talking to you, (who I had a great friendship with over 15 years ago and reconnected with), told me I was physically ugly. I had bronchitis that was trying to turn into pneumonia and while FaceTiming he took photos of me, and later told me my photos were ugly. No man has ever called me ugly in my life. It hurt my heart because of the history we had. I’m a Christian but at that point I had a strong urge to reach through the phone and punch him in the face, because he took pictures of me without my knowledge. It’s made feel a tiny bit self conscious.

  • @irismd5540
    @irismd5540 4 роки тому +33

    U took a gamble an u lost MOVE ON...... Tony I felt that deep down in my soul. Thank u!!!!

  • @Moonpiebye
    @Moonpiebye 4 роки тому +83

    If he is in a relationship and still calling you ask yourself why haven't you blocked him💡 stop feeding the problem ..let go let it flow..move on

    • @afrohersheys22
      @afrohersheys22 4 роки тому +8

      It_isWhat_it_is True that’s what happened to me. He got married but he was still finding excuses to talk to me... I was falling in that trap every time up until recently I blocked him and I’m moving on with my life as I should.

    • @remainhumble6654
      @remainhumble6654 4 роки тому +5

      Well Said....block him...

    • @remainhumble6654
      @remainhumble6654 4 роки тому +4

      @@afrohersheys22 good for you...God Bless you & take care

    • @afrohersheys22
      @afrohersheys22 4 роки тому +5

      Yshekia Bell yeah I had a little depression today because I’m still attached because I’ve been with him for so long but I wasted three years doing this nonsense... it’s for the best, I deserve better.

    • @afrohersheys22
      @afrohersheys22 4 роки тому +1

      Yshekia Bell thank you god bless you too 😊

  • @malindachantelle4706
    @malindachantelle4706 4 роки тому +30

    If you still have feelings I say no. This has happened to me. When my ex came back around I was so happy but after awhile I noticed things were too different and it hurt. He kept breadcrumbing me and i finally told him i can't keep talking to you. If I can't have all of you I don't want none of you. That's just my personal opinion. Now that I don't want him sure we can be friends because I won't be in my feelings anymore

    • @nativechique7589
      @nativechique7589 3 роки тому +1

      Tha6s growth to see that. Were you able to move forward

    • @malindachantelle4706
      @malindachantelle4706 3 роки тому +6

      @@nativechique7589 yes definitely I'm engaged and had a daughter since then as well with someone else

  • @matteroffact6997
    @matteroffact6997 4 роки тому +29

    I feel like men will use you to balance them out in order for them to be able to deal with the other woman which is their ex.
    Tony is so right.

    • @lwontherez7927
      @lwontherez7927 3 роки тому

      Ex told me, “Between you and the woman I left you for/cheated on you with, I found the perfect woman.” GROSS!!

  • @DynamicallyDC
    @DynamicallyDC 4 роки тому +51

    An ex is an ex for a reason and as my Granny and Tony say "familiarity breeds contempt"!! I have exes I still respect and will be cordial to & others I will never ever deal with again on any level. Especially if they're married or in a relationship I don't want to be a distraction or deal with any unnecessary drama from trying to keep an ex in my life.

  • @Glamrocs
    @Glamrocs 4 роки тому +61

    Out of all the years that I watch your videos I have to say this has been the most passionate video I’ve watched. I literally heard your hearts desire for women to be set free! God bless you and Sheri 🙏🏾.

  • @jadew9177
    @jadew9177 4 роки тому +78

    People think that I’m so mean when I tell them I don’t befriend my exes. What for, what we had is now done so there is no need to keep them around and block blessings. Especially being that I don’t have any children, there is nothing holding us together. Wish them well and move on

    • @gino6658
      @gino6658 4 роки тому +7

      Jade W Exactly!!! Same for me! People make it seem like it’s being Heartless 🧐🧐🧐🧐 we’re not Friends, we’re exes. Even when it was not a Bad breakup... we’re still Exes

    • @emmabell1587
      @emmabell1587 2 роки тому +2

      Exactly and that's why I never did it and I will not do it.

  • @mariahwilliams9867
    @mariahwilliams9867 4 роки тому +17

    Ex=past, Next=present. If he doesn’t value you and respects you he is not worth the test. Move on! Be blessed

  • @csandusky3734
    @csandusky3734 4 роки тому +22

    Thank you for bringing clarity to my life! Been messing with a guy that refuses to cut ties with his ex. He turns it around on me saying I have trust issues. Your videos gave me the strength to leave him and not buy into his excuses anymore.

  • @Vanessa-em1km
    @Vanessa-em1km Рік тому +6

    My husband of 25 years of marriage had an affair and left me for the other woman. I learned he was only with me until our kids became a little older before he left. His leaving me became very obvious he planned his departure to get with the other woman. Some years later he started reaching out to me as if nothing happened, I cut off ALL communication with him until this very day!!!

  • @Glamrocs
    @Glamrocs 4 роки тому +165

    Like my mommy said “ Do you drink your own vomit “? That’s what you’re doing when you take a man back.

  • @beverlycrittendon4495
    @beverlycrittendon4495 4 роки тому +62

    Going back to an ex is like eating a steak dinner on back of trash can lid!

  • @Rose.Adorna.7
    @Rose.Adorna.7 4 роки тому +30

    The conviction I felt at the end had me in tears. Thank you from not running away from your calling and. Walking in your purpose.

  • @Coolct
    @Coolct 4 роки тому +28

    All my life I liked to cut off.. people tried to tell me I cut too quick but if I see foolishness there’s no need in hanging on ... he wasn’t serious I was .. moved on✌🏾

  • @mz.q7908
    @mz.q7908 4 роки тому +23

    I love your passion in helping us ladies and calling out men. The man law only break up homes and compromises healthy relationships. Don't apologize because of how you feel it is heartfelt. I heard it in your voice..

  • @MelNesbitt25
    @MelNesbitt25 4 роки тому +48

    EVERY TIME I pray for confirmation on what I’m feeling about this subject...there’s the TRUTH. GOD is truly working through you. THANK YOU TONY (& your wife)🙏🏽 BE BLESSED!!!

    • @LadiWeeks
      @LadiWeeks 4 роки тому

      Yes! I concur! 😍💆‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙏

  • @tbrown567
    @tbrown567 4 роки тому +41

    You and your wife are so cute. God bless your family!

  • @SLBMcMillan
    @SLBMcMillan 4 роки тому +15

    WOW!!! I needed to hear this to let go of my Ex who now labeled me a "Friend" and Confidant" last night! Thank you Tony!!!

    • @celestiakock7207
      @celestiakock7207 3 роки тому +2

      Oh hell no, he cant still be getting those benefits, sis cut him off!!!

  • @veelove2226
    @veelove2226 4 роки тому +7

    When I tell you I shed a tear after this video, when you leave that ex don’t go back! It’s A Reason they a ex in the first place! This video is 💯 Tony be out here telling the truth

  • @TARLEASE02
    @TARLEASE02 4 роки тому +27

    Once again, spitting actual factuals. My ex cheated & left with someone who looked like the bottom of a shoe, however, she had money, and she enabled him. I did not enable him, nor did I have the money she had.

    • @DynamicallyDC
      @DynamicallyDC 4 роки тому +6

      "Bottom of a shoe" 😅😅
      He's an opportunist smh

    • @TARLEASE02
      @TARLEASE02 4 роки тому +3

      @@DynamicallyDC yup. He was. And lol yes, bottom of the shoe...as in scuffed up, worn down and run over. 😁😁😁

  • @IshanaeS
    @IshanaeS 4 роки тому +26

    Ladies, we must constantly pray for discernment.. for these “exceptions” that Tony talks about. Tony is a human being just like us so there will be exceptions but we have to be able to identify if it is or if it isn’t. We as human beings cannot do so alone. God sees all and he will provide you with that third eye if we ask for it.

    • @pattimugpattimug8279
      @pattimugpattimug8279 4 роки тому

      Ishanae Sy, absolutely!!!! I have prayed to God when I was unsure about my exes, my prayer to God was literally " God, if he is the right man show me and if he is not still show me".... boom, God showed me their cheating ways on a silver platter..God will show you things if you ask him

  • @dorothysparrow4355
    @dorothysparrow4355 4 роки тому +24

    Be blessed! Let God use you!!! 🙌🏽 This spoke to me. I pray that God releases those soul ties and the spirit of being STUCK!!!!

  • @carlyc9891
    @carlyc9891 4 роки тому +9

    The way tony talks about men it just seems so hard to find one I honestly feel just to do my own thing for the rest of my life sometimes lol

  • @cherh
    @cherh 4 роки тому +108

    Why would you want to be friends with a guy that don't want you? Ask yourself that question. Okay bye 👋🏾😊🌸❤

    • @trishataylor2837
      @trishataylor2837 4 роки тому +1

      Actually i HAVE asked my self this question Cher... just yesterday. Here is my answer. My ex is a creative musician and writes screen plays and songs. He is an attractive black American. He wants to be with me but i am too insecure to be his girlfriend or the wife he has asked me to be twice with an engagement ring!
      You see...when he is an extra in a movie or away doing his band gigs, he is gone sometimes for days. Surrounded by pretty actors i feel I can not trust him and wind up driving him and myself crazy with jealousy. He has cheated on his previous wives, so i found out, so all I do is feel upset when he is on those sets. He does not want to be accountable and so THAT doesn't work for me. So...I thought we should or could be friends because we sure have a great time no matter where we go! I sing as well and have already been in 2 of his plays. I feel he is not a "GODLY" man as i am a woman who loves the LORD more than him or anyone else. so do you see how I am thinking...maybe just being friends would work?

    • @cherh
      @cherh 4 роки тому +2

      @@trishataylor2837 keyword ex. He's your ex for a reason. So you hangout with your ex knowing of all his past behaviors that's why you're afraid to be with him. That's why you're insecure. Sounds cool and all but why would you want to be friends with a person like that? He's a cheater, had multiple wives, & don't want to be held accountable. I wouldn't want that toxicity in my space. I wouldn't want that type of spirit around me. I would be his friend but distant friend. You being around him blocking you from what you're looking for in him.

  • @reginac9793
    @reginac9793 4 роки тому +12

    Tony, you deserve your title as life coach! I’m 68 yr old divorced my husband at age 50 after 20yrs of marriage

    • @reginac9793
      @reginac9793 4 роки тому +4

      In 1998 have not spoken to him since. Even though he sends messages to the kids he wants me back! Women listen to Tony, it was financial! I have not spoken to him, I allow the grown adults ( my girl s yo see him ) I have not want contact with this person. Ladies’s please move on! My ex had women on the side, always lied, could not keep a job, due to some excuse. Hey, I learned to love myself, payed for my divorce from him . Was awarded child support, did not Perdue it, because I wanted to do it for myself. Put 2 girls through college on my own. Remarried at age 50, my new husband died of cancer when I was 64 ( the love of my life he was 69 when he died) and I still haven’t spoke to my ex in all this time...because I gave him my all for 20 years and he is and has not been worth not loving myself the way God wants us to love us. I move forward not backwards. God has a plans for me, and it another beautiful, loving souls and I am ready, but I can wait to learn the lessons I need to learn. Btw, my second wonderful husband odd of cancer in august 31, 2016. Still singled, blessed and highly favored! Amen! Tony, keep preaching. I lived what your saying, women, never go back!

  • @rosegold5211
    @rosegold5211 4 роки тому +4

    So me and my ex are long distance...for reasons I had to leave... but when he went ghost for a week... I let him have it!! And talking about he's not seeing anyone. He say let's start over....he been trying to get himself together. Tried to blame me for his downfall....but I'm mentally gone from the relationship. I put up with supporting you and you cheated. Now this dude won't stop texting me.
    I'm doing me...and loving it. Thanks Tony!

  • @JustDazy2
    @JustDazy2 6 місяців тому +1

    Hey Tony, I’m 23 and I have found the strength to leave my ex for my own growth and I love your words because for a moment I felt bad that he wanted be in my life still. However, I realize that he could’ve put in the work the first time, if it was meant to be I wouldn’t feel the way I felt.

  • @wavyblkqueen
    @wavyblkqueen 4 роки тому +18

    THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO ON UA-cam ! I wish I could like a million times!
    Edit: I really wondered for almost a year why my ex left me for his ex aka baby mama and why I wasn’t enough for him and this video answered everything. Yea Tony hitting me with the truth hurt me quite a bit but nonetheless it’s the truth. I just gotta go on.

  • @Samerootsdifferentbranches
    @Samerootsdifferentbranches 4 роки тому +14

    I'm on Chapter 3 of A Woman's Influence, and it is really the best book I've ever read in regards to reationships! I just wanted to say how much it is really blessing me, and reading Mrs. Sheri's perspective ties it altogether in such a powerful way. Thank you so much for allowing God to use you for such a time as this! God bless!!

  • @equaantai
    @equaantai 4 роки тому +9

    Wow, wow, wow this video gets better& deeper the longer you watch it, through the commercials and all. Every minute is worth watching. It all makes sense now. I appreciate your vulnerability. Thank you🙏🏾

  • @Erica-et4ye
    @Erica-et4ye 4 роки тому +10

    This message has blessed me SO much, Tony...I finally understand totally why a relationship ended. Can’t thank you enough for sharing your purpose. Be blessed!

  • @ebonieshenece
    @ebonieshenece 4 роки тому +23

    I’m going to watch this video everyday just because... be blessed 🙏🏾

    • @wavyblkqueen
      @wavyblkqueen 4 роки тому

      ebonie shenece ima have to for sure

  • @honda11001001
    @honda11001001 Рік тому +2

    I want to say what you're doing is very good because there's men like me that need help we don't understand all this until it comes from another person or someone like so thank you Tony God bless you

  • @shereebailey6222
    @shereebailey6222 4 роки тому +13

    This video hit so many key points to take heed...very real and raw. But with honesty and accountability we can all do better navigating love and relationships. This hit the nail on the head, much appreciated. 💯🙏🏽

  • @lismolina2801
    @lismolina2801 2 роки тому +3

    After 4 years he broke up with because I questioned his whereabouts. Had a full blown tantrum and threw me out of our apartment. I broke up with him once for deceitful behavior, after 9 months gave him another chance, tolerated him talking to other females about our relationship…and when I got tired he threw me out!!!!!! I see now the emotional immaturity. I wanted him to be the best man he could be, car apartment jobs…and still I was discarded. Hurts like hell 4 months post breakup, but I know this was a huge blessing for me.

  • @laywill5968
    @laywill5968 4 роки тому +4

    Before the video came to a close, I already deleted two of my exes. No more to go. Thank you Tony

  • @therealher_
    @therealher_ 4 роки тому +22

    TONY... LISTEN TO ME‼️‼️ I felt every bit of minute 44-46 in my spirit. It gave me chills just listening. POWERFUL

  • @122106watson
    @122106watson 4 роки тому +6

    WOW!!!! I got the book on chapter 5 now to start :-)... I be playing this video daily. to remember that no I cant be stupid and cater for a cheater, abusive, and liar man. Because he needs his mental fix he can stay with the one that he cheated with let him figure out how to get all his fixes from her. Thank you for helping me grow. I still have anger issues but its a session to talk with you one day soon it will happen so you can use my example as a lesson for others. God bless you and keep blessing us with your videos of empowerment to our souls.

  • @kikinyte6806
    @kikinyte6806 4 роки тому +14

    Tony said He Wants Their Body Parts but Your Heart ❤️ that hit home. He sees you as imperfect.... Wow 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 That was a gem right there 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

  • @alexiskrymis5918
    @alexiskrymis5918 2 роки тому +6

    Omg, Tony. You’re awesome. I just discovered you and I can’t get enough. 😂

  • @nata6835
    @nata6835 4 роки тому +6

    I broke up with a man for going over his ex parents house. He claimed he was good friends with her uncle who happened to live at the ex parents house and he was only going for the uncle.. I asked him to not go there because it was disrespectful to me. He didn’t give a damn about my feelings and continued to go over her parents house & said I was overreacting...So I ended our relationship. I’m not putting up with no man bullshit! That’s why I’ve been single for 2 yrs.. I refuse to settle for less.

  • @naturallycute7186
    @naturallycute7186 4 роки тому +29

    Yes and no. I am an “associate “with my Ex-husband. We were married for 17 years. We have 3 kids together. He is a good man. We just drifted in different ways. I left him. My current husband and I will be married 7 years this year. And no, I didn’t find my husband while I was married. It was a challenge, but my husband and ex is on good terms with each other.
    I would never go back him. I love him. But, I am “no longer in love” with him.

    • @much2lovely
      @much2lovely 4 роки тому +11

      Naturally Cute then it’s actually a no. Associate is different than friends. You have kids together so that is understandable. It’s the same for me and my ex. We have a son together so we still associate very cordially

  • @ladyt3759
    @ladyt3759 4 роки тому +12

    Tony I really liked this video and you are absolutely right that you can't be friends with ex's no matter what label they had.

  • @TeshaD
    @TeshaD 4 роки тому +9

    I don’t initiate conversations with my ex, but when he contacts me, I’m friendly. We didn’t have children biologically, but he had a son and we had a foster son. The only reason I’ll communicate is my mom said that I may be the only Jesus he sees. I’ve forgiven him for what I had to experience with him and I’m grateful because it was a lesson to teach me what I don’t want in my next relationship.

  • @reneejacobs8183
    @reneejacobs8183 4 роки тому +19

    This is HARD CORE TRUTH and you made it CRYSTAL CLEAR! No need to apologize, that fire/zeal just shows how serious you are about your calling/ purpose! Thanks again, Be Blessed! 🙏🏽❤️

  • @marilynking527
    @marilynking527 4 роки тому +35

    Tony this video is def not selling us on men 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Lawd they are as basic as I thought. My intuition always said all this but you confirmed it!!

    • @marilynking527
      @marilynking527 4 роки тому +1

      Robin Sunrise superficial smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @harmonybishop4424
      @harmonybishop4424 4 роки тому

      I see people with an S in these videos what does it mean??

    • @marilynking527
      @marilynking527 4 роки тому +1

      Harmony Bishop it’ means you are apart of the membership. Its $1.99 per month.

    • @harmonybishop4424
      @harmonybishop4424 4 роки тому

      Robin Sunrise awh okay thanks

    • @pettynettie5514
      @pettynettie5514 4 роки тому

      I'm saying the same exact thing!!! "Like uh - remind me again, what makes you guys worth it??" 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾

  • @imanirhodes3180
    @imanirhodes3180 4 роки тому +4

    I recieved my book today and I’m already on chapter 8. I had to stop myself because I didn’t want to finish so soon. I ordered two of your other books..they haven’t been delivered yet. But I can say I’m beyond happy with my purchase. The chapters so far have given me so much clarity. I’m doing the work and continuing to watch the videos. Thank you! 🙏🏾

  • @yanicketienne1464
    @yanicketienne1464 4 роки тому +6

    “The queen is the most powerful piece on the board!” Tony, Tony, Tony.

  • @bloggins901
    @bloggins901 4 роки тому +4

    Man, I have so much respect for you....thank you again.. Damn ...im in tears ...i made the right decision...!

  • @Moonpiebye
    @Moonpiebye 4 роки тому +53

    NO YOU CAN NOT BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX 😂 FACTS 2020💥💥💥 NEVER MIX THE OLD WITH THE NEW LADIES💡BIG NO NO

  • @damarish.torres145
    @damarish.torres145 6 місяців тому

    I’ve seen this one before and three years later I watched it again . I gained so much knowledge about things that have been on my mind, I had so many questions. This helped me: to God be the glory. Thank you Tony

  • @valeriea.8332
    @valeriea.8332 4 роки тому +5

    Been listening to you since 2016. You've taught me ALOT brother Tony! Thank you for your endless obedience!!!

  • @staciragland1681
    @staciragland1681 4 роки тому +3

    NO APOLOGIES NEEDED FOR THE TRUTH!!! YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON, GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FOR LIFE!!❤❤😍😍😍😚🤗💋

  • @allicapronouncedallakuh3291
    @allicapronouncedallakuh3291 4 роки тому +15

    Thank you Tony for your wisdom and insight.. guys may not see me as enough but as long as I have God in my life .. I am enough.. You are on point ..Ex trying to come back after I ended things.. I will not fall for that okie doke...
    Get with your Ex or focus on your NEXT... I love it....

  • @monicaDD
    @monicaDD 4 роки тому +7

    Had to watch this again. I keep meeting people still tied to their exes who they don’t share children with

    • @KMH9459
      @KMH9459 7 місяців тому

      Same and I’m like ok I see what’s going on here

  • @yvette9305
    @yvette9305 4 роки тому +4

    Whew Chile....When Tony said this going to be hard to hear. That was 100% truth 💣!

  • @tuliaTV
    @tuliaTV 4 роки тому +2

    Tony you PREACHED a whole MESSAGE on this video! From 40:00-50:00 you were saying nothing but the TRUTH!!!! BE BLESSED TRIBE!

  • @JP-pt8ul
    @JP-pt8ul 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you so much!!! I've come to terms with a lot of the pathological reasons why I made the mistakes I made in my relationships. You confirmed so much of what I've experienced and verbally expressed. I had a chance to confront an ex from many years ago, he really thought I was the same person, lol. I know I've grown as a person, I was able to walk away..now I know I can walk away from anyone who is not meant to be in my life!!! Thank you for being honest and walking in your purpose!!!

  • @Best-ThingYouNeverHad
    @Best-ThingYouNeverHad 4 роки тому +28

    I think its a real problem that men sacrifice personality for looks of a woman because most of the time those are the women that break them then they come to the next relationship messed up & want sympathy like they didn't set themselves up for failure 🤦

  • @elizabethschilling7178
    @elizabethschilling7178 4 роки тому +5

    This is a so needed video. I've met so many men who have continued to be in a relationship with an ex. Little do they know I'm completely turned off and ready to throw my duce up at them. Boy bye!!

    • @valerieandrews5176
      @valerieandrews5176 4 роки тому +1

      Same here. I was dating a guy recently who was still friends with his high-school sweetheart that he divorced after 18 years of marriage. He says they are still friends because they have kids and they knew each other for years even before they got married. She remarried and has been married for 15 years and they still keep in contact! What?? In my heart, I feel she's still in love with him because she calls him about once a week when her husband is not around. Now you tell me what kind of soul tie this is. Of course, he likes the attention, says he doesn't feel anything for her but continues to talk to her because they're 'friends.' I couldn't deal with that issue plus some other things he had going on in his life. So I walked away and never looked back. Dodged a bullet with that one. Point, blank, Perioodddttt!

  • @yahushuaschosen4129
    @yahushuaschosen4129 4 роки тому +2

    Tony! This video is the ABSOLUTE truth from beginning to end! You truly are an anointed man from the Most High Yah! He makes no mistakes in who he chooses to do his will. Thank you for your sacrifices, and allow him to use you as a vessel. I have watched a lot of your videos. This one in particular has put my soul to rest. I finally have closure. May you and your family continue to prosper always.
    Be blessed!

  • @vanessaguzman363
    @vanessaguzman363 4 роки тому +5

    WOW!! This is the first video of All Tony’s videos that literally went straight to my heart and soul 😞 bc FACTS are hard to ACCEPT but I thank you Tony bc I received it... the reason behind me accepting this video More than Any other video is bc God was speaking through you and that’s was A confirmation for me that he was speaking to me.. Telling me Wake Up and MOVE ON bc I truly deserve better !! I pray that god continues using you for his glory 🙏🏼

  • @jennifersilva8597
    @jennifersilva8597 3 роки тому +1

    I never got closure from a 23 year marriage when he cheated on me with our best friends wife. I couldn't understand. There are so many things I am skipping here, but you made it simple and easy to understand. Thank you from the one that finally got the strength to leave. I understand a lot more now. Bless you. My heart ❤ is feeling better now.

  • @tarao4382
    @tarao4382 4 роки тому +9

    I saw the alert come up on my screen. When I read the title of the video my immediate response before even clicking was, HELL NAW!!!😕🤨😒🙃🙄

  • @dominiquestorm310
    @dominiquestorm310 2 роки тому

    The section on men wanting/needing certain set looks......THE MOST VALIDATING THING EVER. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @Dthomas_71
    @Dthomas_71 4 роки тому +4

    Tell it like it is Brother Tony!!! No apologies needed.

  • @hanifahfajri4858
    @hanifahfajri4858 4 роки тому +17

    My life, My relationship, My confident... finally has restart button now. 😄
    Thank you Tony for teaching me what I didn't know. And I thought I would never know.