Insecurities: What Makes or Breaks Us | Caleb Lareau | TEDxUniversityofTulsa

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  • Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
  • We all deal with a certain level of insecurity, but it is how we respond to this insecurity that defines us. Caleb Lareau explains how he has used his insecurities as fuel to be great, and how you can, too.
    Caleb is a senior Mathematics and Biochemistry major at TU. This fall, Caleb will pursue his PhD in Biostatistics at Harvard University, where he hopes to uncover the genetic basis of complex disorders. In his free time, Caleb enjoys competing in endurance races, including an ultramarathon and an Ironman triathlon.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 60

  • @LarissaBotnari
    @LarissaBotnari 5 років тому +43

    No amount of self improvement can make up for any lack of self acceptance !

  • @healthfuldave5207
    @healthfuldave5207 8 років тому +42

    Validation, baby! We all need it. Grateful to hear someone address some of the same insecurities I have. Wonderful presentation with sage advice. Thank you, Caleb for sharing.

  • @djhogan65
    @djhogan65 Рік тому +1

    This approach is just treating the symptoms, not addressing the cause of the insecurity. This approach will enable you to strive harder for validation and acceptance and achieve some things along the way, but you will not find inner security and self acceptance this way. I speak from personal experience, by using this approach I completed an MBA whilst working full time in a managerial role, but I still didn’t feel any better inside.
    Read Gabor Mate or watch some of his talks on UA-cam, learn about self acceptance. (Self acceptance is NOT resigning yourself to misery and mediocrity by the way). Gabor Mate’s teaching brought me the inner peace I have always sought.

  • @carmensierra3935
    @carmensierra3935 7 років тому +47

    insecurities are lies u tell yourself
    fear is a programmed response to avoid threats like lions or falling off steep hills and being able to react fast enough to not die...
    however fear in our lives today is not based in reality. we panic with primitive levels of fear completely unrelated to the actual risk and can not even see the possibility of controlling that fear.
    i lived in pain isolation and fear i was not ever going to be enough to satisfy others in even the most basic type of interactions.
    i learned i had control. i learned nothing i feel in the moment has to be obeyed.. realizing some processes are unconscious therefore were hard recognize to my advantage.
    disregard all self doubt. be kind to others. understand u cant be liked by all so dont doubt urself and u will be liked by the ones who matter

    • @nefelibata4190
      @nefelibata4190 6 років тому

      the ego will still be there trying to eat everything alive and breathing.

    • @_Fyodor_Dostoevsky_
      @_Fyodor_Dostoevsky_ 5 років тому +1

      Thanks for sharing this lad 👌🏻

    • @barlitosguy1415
      @barlitosguy1415 5 років тому

      I needed to hear this to finally put what I’m going through into words

    • @valak9663
      @valak9663 3 роки тому

      I love this. I can smell the LSD on your voice. Lol

  • @erikbarrett85
    @erikbarrett85 7 років тому +33

    what if your legs get blown off and you can't run, those insecurities about WHO you are will resurface. one must find self value and purpose starting in their mind before trying to attract mates by changing their physical appearance.

  • @barlitosguy1415
    @barlitosguy1415 5 років тому +8

    Everything this guy said about his insecurities is what I’m going through exactly right now and my biggest fear is that I’m going to break.

  • @1212zeek1212
    @1212zeek1212 8 років тому +36

    What happened to the audio? Can this video be re-uploaded?

  • @arlinegeorge6967
    @arlinegeorge6967 3 роки тому +3

    When we believe in ourselves and accept our insecurity or fears. Accept our fate and do the best of our abilities with integrity n honesty you will definitely reach your dreams. Great great talk. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.

  • @just_simply_alive1130
    @just_simply_alive1130 6 років тому +10

    I'm going through a break up now. All of my validation did come from my ex and just like Caleb, I thought I was gonna marry her. I have a number of insecurities from my current event which are linked to validation and security. thankfully this video was put in view right when I needed it. now I will use it

  • @reginapanergo8069
    @reginapanergo8069 7 років тому +9

    Fear to motivate is just like using insecurity to motivate you. Just my thoughts...

  • @blvntswg9254
    @blvntswg9254 4 роки тому +14

    I always accuse my girl of stuff, I wish I could stop but every time I get a bad feeling I just go off. I’m a toxic human. Jealousy/insecurity/trustissues are all part of me

    • @Amberlynnslivertit
      @Amberlynnslivertit 4 роки тому +5

      At least you know what your issues are, and arent in denial.

    • @wordnerdink
      @wordnerdink 3 роки тому +7

      You’ve probably been hurt real bad, combine that with some lack of confidence and impulse control and it’s a recipe for toxicity. It’s something I’ve been working through for a long time. You don’t have to trust people, you have to trust in the fact that if they hurt you, you can love yourself enough to get up and leave.

    • @kellyodowd3949
      @kellyodowd3949 Рік тому

      @@wordnerdink absolutely the courage to leave and to realize that you are wearing her down to not be able to leave and normalizing that behavior. I am currently trying to leave and have been rationalizing financial abuse and that I alone was responsible for this. Please, be a gentleman and walk away. . I appreciate knowing this. Take care.

  • @alexz2702
    @alexz2702 8 років тому +14

    This video may be a life changer

  • @JCmakeupMaster
    @JCmakeupMaster 5 років тому +7

    This video got me so frustrated because the volume was SOOO LOWWWW 🤕

  • @mehrnazmobini
    @mehrnazmobini 7 років тому +26

    Using fears to make yourself do sth doesn't really help. There wouldn't be any good feelings behind it.
    Plus, there's always a better version of oneself so you won't be satisfied untill your dying day maybe. I mean reminding yourself that you're not good enough yet every minute in your way will make you feel anxious and less confident. One should just accept his/her insecurities not using them as a fuel or whatever.

  • @Sunlitpickle
    @Sunlitpickle 7 років тому +1

    After watching a video the other day by David Goggins it didn't empower me. I still felt like I would need him yelling at me to motivate me. So happy I stumbled onto this. This feels right =D

  • @khaledalshaheen5841
    @khaledalshaheen5841 4 роки тому

    I'm passionate to hear in my right ears to this cool Ted talk

  • @nicolewilliams3434
    @nicolewilliams3434 8 років тому +3

    Very Very Powerful
    Thank you 😊

  • @tartantilia
    @tartantilia 4 роки тому

    Thank you Caleb, I needed to hear this.

  • @Surayya444
    @Surayya444 7 років тому +3

    Loved this !!

  • @dennisgyurics3713
    @dennisgyurics3713 6 років тому +5

    "We agreed to separate"

  • @hazelhensley9407
    @hazelhensley9407 7 років тому

    BLT. Great message, inspirational and so real.

  • @smylulula
    @smylulula 4 роки тому

    Can relate to this Ted so well. Thanks, Caleb!

  • @AtulAgrawal92
    @AtulAgrawal92 8 років тому +4

    I can feel you

  • @tiffanypeng3318
    @tiffanypeng3318 7 років тому

    Really enjoyed this video! Thank you for sharing your insecurities with us.

  • @genesebelius4466
    @genesebelius4466 2 роки тому

    Thanks so much ✌️

  • @Selyidar
    @Selyidar 4 роки тому

    Thank you. This is inspiring.

  • @letztermensch229
    @letztermensch229 3 роки тому +1

    Should we use insecurities as fuel ? I think no, we shouldn't. Because in my experience, people who fueled by insecurity are also who likely to neglect one or some aspects of life such as socializing, relationship with others. They themselves are the ones who isolate and put them in loneliness. "Insecurities might eventually drive us to success but at what cost ? If you can never be at peace with yourself, then your success becomes somewhat tainted." Also, isnt that mindset the root of the "skipping to the end of the movie" thought ?
    By avoiding failures you've actually accomplished nothing, it might look you're a successful person to other but deep down, only you know that's not how you felt about yourself. Instead of proud, well maybe there was a short moment (like 15 seconds )of those kinda fellings, you'll be self-doubting, questioning " Was that worth it ?", "I made it but why I feel nothing but emptiness ?". I said that because I was once like that. The feelings of insecurity about my appearance, embarrassment and failure drive me. They kept me up everynight craming for the university entrance exam. I passed with flying colors but I missed out a lots. Life became something too trivial, normal to me. I saw no point in studying, making money, gaining power or status in society, and even in continue living, thus i felt suicidal, depressed because I forgot how to be happy. I couldn't seem to find a nugget of happiness laying in the mundane meaninglessness of life.
    I can't deny that insecurity is one of the most powerful source of motivation, so if you consider to want to use it to motivate yourself.
    Use it wisely !
    First by embrace your vulnerability, then use insecurity to better that part of yourself which you feel less that or not good enough, like Caleb showed us. Don't use it as an excuse to run away from (forget) your weakness, cause unlike physical wound, psychological wound won't heal itself, you might forgot it for some time as time went by, but it can come back anytime if not fixed.
    Also pay attention to your surroundings, and take time to self-reflect whether you're going too fast.

    • @nias3202
      @nias3202 Рік тому

      Very well said! I love the concept of strong vulnerability by the School of Life.

  • @Confusedduckling499
    @Confusedduckling499 7 років тому +10

    So basically, trying to better himself hasn't made him any less insecure. Not very motivational 😞

    • @christinafernandez106
      @christinafernandez106 7 років тому +5

      alex826 but the point is doing something is better than doing nothing lol and since you're going to do nothing anyways might as well do something

  • @dawoodron2245
    @dawoodron2245 6 років тому

    Thank you.

  • @mid2k
    @mid2k 3 роки тому

    Great Message!!!

  • @gail_7192
    @gail_7192 7 років тому +1

    Very nice video!

  • @johnkamau3442
    @johnkamau3442 3 роки тому

    excellent

  • @maulinrathod
    @maulinrathod 6 років тому

    Great video

  • @Noel-wt9qo
    @Noel-wt9qo 6 років тому +2

    What about you're insecure about something you cannot affect, like your intelligence ?

  • @loricrockett-owens5117
    @loricrockett-owens5117 7 років тому

    I have plenty of insecurities about myself. Life isnt such a peach is it. Oh well I got be strong anyway

  • @santxz5556
    @santxz5556 6 років тому +1

    Unfortunately we are our own prisoners. I mean we should've trying to believe a little bit more in our own dreams and goals!

  • @elizabethniken
    @elizabethniken 7 років тому +5

    still didn't help me at all

  • @bon12121
    @bon12121 5 років тому

    TLDR: Stahp insecurities defining you. Use them, let them work for you.

  • @hectorcabrera8019
    @hectorcabrera8019 4 роки тому +1

    Anyone’s left earphone the only one working

  • @user-onyoutube868
    @user-onyoutube868 7 років тому

    We are created by a loving God, who fills the void in all of us through Jesus Christ.

  • @AlexHandforth-xr1gp
    @AlexHandforth-xr1gp 7 місяців тому

    I heard somewhere that usually within a month after death your pretty well forgotten lol makes ya think lol

  • @sxr2222
    @sxr2222 5 років тому

    7:10

  • @shewitabraham563
    @shewitabraham563 7 років тому +3

    So direct and authentic. Only Jesus is our security ShewitforJesus

  • @QueenAnon
    @QueenAnon 4 роки тому

    :ooooo

  • @Bm-ft1ix
    @Bm-ft1ix Рік тому

    Acting of a fear perspective….😢