Being in a relationship with an ADHD partner: common ADHD behaviors & their effect on relationships

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  • Опубліковано 22 лип 2024
  • Hey there! Join me as we explore the intersection of ADHD and relationships. In this video, I'll delve into 7 common ADHD behaviors that can impact your connection with your partner-whether it's your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse.
    From navigating distractions and impulsivity to coping with organizational challenges and the need for reassurance, we'll uncover the dynamics behind these behaviors. Wondering why your partner with ADHD acts the way they do? It all links back to dopamine levels in the brain, which can affect how they show love and handle frustrations in relationships.
    This isn't your typical relationship advice video for ADHDers-it's a genuine exploration aimed at validating and understanding the experiences of neurotypicals in relationships with ADHD partners. Whether you're dating someone with ADHD or seeking insights to strengthen your relationship, I've got tips and insights to share.
    Let's learn more about love and ADHD together, offering both understanding and practical tips and tricks for navigating the complexities of ADHD in romantic and long-term relationships. Grab a cuppa and let's get started!

КОМЕНТАРІ • 339

  • @BrownGeorge-pw2xo
    @BrownGeorge-pw2xo Місяць тому +74

    I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

    • @nicholda436
      @nicholda436 Місяць тому

      Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

    • @RobertaSandra-no3dy
      @RobertaSandra-no3dy Місяць тому

      Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.

    • @DarlingtonFrancis
      @DarlingtonFrancis Місяць тому

      Ive done shrooms last month in my house. It taught me how severely traumatized I was from alcohol. I healed from many mental traumas from my past and was able to forgive, let go. Shrooms to me is a remedy not a vice. I even felt more refreshed the
      morning after. So no hangovers. No
      depression mood for days. No anxiety.I now
      have a more calm mind

    • @SharonFalcon-fj7nb
      @SharonFalcon-fj7nb Місяць тому

      How do i reach out to him? Is he on insta

    • @JesseRobson-dk5cy
      @JesseRobson-dk5cy Місяць тому

      Yes he's Dr.alishrooms. Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have
      really helped him. mah dudes have safe
      trips all.

  • @SuperBisbee
    @SuperBisbee 3 роки тому +343

    I found this video to be helpful around understanding my partner. As a highly sensitive person, I find it heartbreaking how often he can’t follow through with his words and the impulsivity can cause feelings of distrust.

    • @jasonmontez5352
      @jasonmontez5352 2 роки тому +3

      Same here with my boyfriend as well and I often relate to these things in the video !

    • @subharthibhattacharya4873
      @subharthibhattacharya4873 2 роки тому +1

      So true.

    • @aishibb6880
      @aishibb6880 2 роки тому +14

      Mine was long distance and it was SO difficult to trust him

    • @mrcanada1104
      @mrcanada1104 2 роки тому +35

      As the ADHD partner, I will be completely honest - it is NOT okay that we can’t follow through - and believe me, I find it frustrating WAY more than my wife does. But it is NEVER a conscious choice. We don’t ever do it intentionally!

    • @tmac.ogsrandocontent9771
      @tmac.ogsrandocontent9771 2 роки тому +4

      @@mrcanada1104 thankyou for your experience. It has really helped me understand my partner alot better. And honestly now I can find better ways to cope and not feel anger towards him or place undeserved blame towards him. Thankyou so much for this new outlook.

  • @verylikecheryl
    @verylikecheryl 2 роки тому +57

    That feeling when your partner comes into the room, car keys in hand, to say goodbye to you and you have NO IDEA where he said he was going today.

  • @CathFerook
    @CathFerook 11 місяців тому +21

    I feel like I was the one who needed the reassurance from my ADHD partner. I ended up not trusting him and I felt he didn't care about me and i ended up walking away. I was heartbroken

  • @drclairesira8497
    @drclairesira8497 4 місяці тому +5

    I agree with these points... and I think that people with ADHD can build their skills through coaching and practice. I don't think anyone wants to be in a parent / child dynamic with their partner.

  • @DancingFox6
    @DancingFox6 2 роки тому +78

    50 years married to my ADHD husband and I’m still learning new things about ADHD and him.

    • @nuranggraeni2045
      @nuranggraeni2045 Рік тому +5

      My boyfriend has ADHD, he always yelling at me like crazy , i don't know what to do, he even broke my phone and hit people around when he not felling god with his emosion

    • @spiritualelement757
      @spiritualelement757 Рік тому +18

      @@nuranggraeni2045 Leave him, adhd doesn’t make people act like that. That’s just terrible behavior

    • @samirah4423
      @samirah4423 5 місяців тому +5

      @@nuranggraeni2045 i really hope you got out of that toxic relationship. ADHD does not excuse abusive behavior, and isn't something common either

    • @macattack619
      @macattack619 4 місяці тому

      ​@@spiritualelement757 yes they do I'm going through something similar . ADHD is not excuse to be abusive . There needs to be more videos on that

  • @jigglygrandmama
    @jigglygrandmama Рік тому +19

    No CHEATING is not OK, It's very cruel, healthy alternatives would be trying new stuff, doing stuff together, going on holidays, finding hobbies and interest to bring interest etc, your partner should be you very best friend not someone you use. I'm ADHD as is my husband, yes it gets damn boring but I would never ever ever cheat on him or even lust other men, I could never hurt him like that. Treat others like you'd like to be treated. Do anything you like as long as it harms no one including yourself. Cognitive behavior therapy made a huge difference and value to my life, I highly recommend it.

    • @sitsbeats
      @sitsbeats 5 місяців тому

      How is that working for you folks? I think me and my gf have the same dynamic and it can be really exhausting sometimes….

    • @EdgarOokami
      @EdgarOokami 3 місяці тому

      Me ex-partner had ADHD and was a chronic cheater... but she also denies that she is a cheater. After talking about her previous relationships, I noticed that she dates several people at the same time. One of the things that made me end my relationship is when she told me that she got married once and divorce in one month... she was already going out with me while she was in that marriage... As you say, constat cheating IS NOT something that is OK. This is really hurtful and having ADHD does not become a universal excuse to be a horrible person. I'd like that more of these videos explain the idea that having ADHD is not a blank check for being a horrible person and expect that all this bad behavior to be immediately excused and forgiven.

  • @rachpalomo
    @rachpalomo 2 роки тому +67

    My 5 words: disconnected, frustrating, disheartening, discouraging, painful

    • @bzmzlznsz1000
      @bzmzlznsz1000 2 роки тому +7

      Really leave him then if you feel that way ableist

    • @kaysiesmith5005
      @kaysiesmith5005 Рік тому +13

      I feel the same 😢

    • @Mrs.Haddad16
      @Mrs.Haddad16 11 місяців тому +15

      Same. Notice all of the positive, hopeful comments are new relationships or ADHDers. 20yrs in,I'm exhausted. I'm not his wife,I'm his mother.

    • @seank6717
      @seank6717 9 місяців тому +3

      Yep. Can't trust my wife and can't rely on her for anything. She's cheated repeatedly, causing the worst trauma of my life. Anything that matters has to be my responsibility. If any cleaning is done it's by me. She's constantly, almost daily, causing terrible fights/drama. I'd have left her twelve years ago but she ended up pregnant and I love my kids. It's exhausting and devastating being in a relationship with her.

    • @MuiKaHo
      @MuiKaHo 3 місяці тому

      @@seank6717 divorce and have shared custody of kids?

  • @gaugea
    @gaugea 3 роки тому +113

    i have adhd and i know the symptoms obviously, but the way you describe them (eg. “not lacking attention, but misprioritizing”, “interrupting because fearing of forgetting it”) is so accurate and ive never heard them put like that. I think im used to people without adhd describing the symptoms but not really understanding the reasons, so this video was sooo refreshing!! thank you for it!!!!

  • @MellowBellow1
    @MellowBellow1 Рік тому +44

    Can I make a suggestion? Instead of constantly asking if someone loves you. Tell them you love THEM. and observe how they respond. … otherwise you’re constantly asking for external validation without offering it. And no matter neurotypical or neurodivergent…. We need to be able to offer what we’re asking for. …..

    • @bl3524
      @bl3524 Рік тому +6

      That’s a good one

    • @wallllleeeee
      @wallllleeeee 10 місяців тому +3

      It sounds great, until your wife/husband responds with a “show me that you love me, don’t just tell me”. 🤷🏻‍♂️

    • @MellowBellow1
      @MellowBellow1 10 місяців тому +1

      @@wallllleeeee yes. And then you show them. … or explain how you show it. That’s really easy. …. You know the 5 love languages. ….

    • @hollywaller1265
      @hollywaller1265 9 місяців тому +2

      @@MellowBellow1 it's not easy if they say something like "if you loved me you wouldn't make my life harder by not putting the washing up in the dishwasher, show me you love me my doing that please" then its impossible

    • @MellowBellow1
      @MellowBellow1 9 місяців тому

      @@hollywaller1265 so why don’t you do as they ask you? That’s how they receive love. … do it. It’s not impossible at all. If they want acts of service; give them acts of service. Put the dishes up.

  • @DavidWebsterAD
    @DavidWebsterAD 3 роки тому +81

    I interrupt because I can never think of anything to say until someone unlocks a memory.

    • @mindfuqq
      @mindfuqq 2 роки тому +1

      same here. ty for this, it reminds me there are people with similar issues.

  • @TheeJamaicanHAZE
    @TheeJamaicanHAZE 3 роки тому +114

    My bf has ADHD & honestly the best relationship I have been in (I’m almost 30). I’ve been trying to find a channel that can help me really understand him & you are PERFECT! Thank you 🙏🏾💙✨👑! New subscriber‼️

    • @BoatemaaPapabi
      @BoatemaaPapabi Рік тому +1

      💯about it being the best relationship.

  • @HannahSquats
    @HannahSquats 2 роки тому +20

    This reality is nightmarish when you don't know what's going on. I wish I'd seen this video years ago. The knowledge would have given me more patience and grace for the man I was married to.

  • @veronicacardoso3569
    @veronicacardoso3569 3 роки тому +22

    My husband has been patient since day one .. we been married for 21 years .. I just got diagnosed with ADHD May 17 2021 … now he knows why I look around while we are at a restaurant having dinner .. who knew I had adhd 🤷🏻‍♀️.. Iam just blessed to have a loving husband ..

  • @maskedidentity2498
    @maskedidentity2498 10 місяців тому +14

    The trick I have about organization and cleanliness is to just not have a lot of stuff. My bedroom has a bed, a shelf, a nightstand a laundry basket. Thats it.

    • @GabrielleSWalker
      @GabrielleSWalker Місяць тому

      So true! My daughter has it combined type and doing this has helped us soooo much

  • @mikewizoski7593
    @mikewizoski7593 2 роки тому +43

    This video makes want I cry if my boyfriend didn’t have this condition we probably would have stayed together or least he would have kept his promises, I always felt like I didn’t matter because he would be so much more effort into everything else and expect to be okay waiting forever for him to finally focus on me. I was like the very bottom of priorities

    • @codydavis9918
      @codydavis9918 2 роки тому +16

      On behalf of him and me speaking because I have adhd and I’m dealing with this and the lack of love from my partner. I wanna say I’m sorry that we are hard to deal with that we are very different. I’m sorry if he cheated no matter of anger or spite or lack of excitement. I’m sorry for our outburst and constant nagging or reassurance of love. You matter just like any human would matter. Our constant drive to keep ourself busy or take our mind off of things makes us come off as if we don’t care for people. But we do and you are not a bottom priority u were the back bone of the relationship because u fought and didn’t give up. So please don’t feel as if u weren’t enough or less of a person because u are a beautiful soul. Once again I wanna say I’m sorry that we act this way

    • @graigjr9052
      @graigjr9052 2 роки тому

      was he treated

    • @SirenASMR_
      @SirenASMR_ Рік тому +7

      You didn’t matter to him . He would have priorities you . I dumped my bf who has adhd because it’s to abusive to normal people

  • @discountvalium9484
    @discountvalium9484 8 місяців тому +4

    As someone with ADHD (possibly AuDHD) in a relationship with a neurotypical, this just makes so much sense!!! Ive been with him for almost a decade and still cannot decode if he's mad at me or if he still loves me, which gets on his nerves.

  • @AloneInTheVoid
    @AloneInTheVoid 2 роки тому +40

    That was absolutely amazing! I really appreciate you! (Married to my beautiful ADHD wife for over 30 years)
    it’s been a wild ride, for sure!

  • @blainejudd5693
    @blainejudd5693 3 роки тому +81

    I was reading an article about why husbands don’t plan dates (mine never has) and the author suggested the person might be in a relationship with a person with ADHD. So I looked into it and it is sooooo accurate, it literally changed my perspective. I’m completely in the parent role right now

    • @muratarslan4252
      @muratarslan4252 2 роки тому +4

      I was wonder why my husband dont paying atention to what i saying or forgeting interupting while i talk. All of what you said its all about my husband who else can move out to another state with all family in one week without finding job at lest?

    • @VVVVV99611
      @VVVVV99611 2 роки тому +3

      Please don't look down on us

    • @anthonypon
      @anthonypon 2 роки тому +2

      can you share the link of the article?? I want to show it to my girlfriend, cause I’m like your husband, I never plan dates xd. I thought It was just laziness , so I guess Im just curious now about myself. (i’ve been diagnosed)

    • @juneelle370
      @juneelle370 Рік тому +17

      It’s not an excuse though… you can LEARN to plan dates with your girlfriend… it’s all about priorities. If she’s not a priority, there’s no reason to be with her unless it’s all take take take. I’m ADD as well~I just don’t think it should be used as an excuse to not plan dates.

    • @SirenASMR_
      @SirenASMR_ Рік тому +9

      I don’t want to be my boyfriends mom so I had to dump him . Good luck

  • @30daymissionman
    @30daymissionman 4 місяці тому +4

    My partner has ADHD I didn’t realise for many years. She is aggressive, verbally abusive and any attempt by me to organise our life is met with hostility. I’ve tried everything to make her happy but it never works. I wish I had never met her.

    • @genacat4599
      @genacat4599 Місяць тому +2

      Sigh, I guess we're in the same boat. Why do they start argument for no reason.

    • @30daymissionman
      @30daymissionman Місяць тому +1

      @@genacat4599 Sorry to hear that. If you don’t have children, I would leave the relationship as soon as possible. It will not improve.

  • @hollywaller1265
    @hollywaller1265 2 роки тому +28

    I'm the partner with ADHD, this hit all the feels. I genuinely don't understand why my bf is still with me, surely he would be happier without me? If I could choose to leave me I would so why hasn't he? I ask these questions way too often despite being convinced that one day I'll have asked too many times and he will leave me because of it. It is exhausting. But I'm starting medication next week and I really hope it helps

    • @OKeefeist
      @OKeefeist Рік тому +2

      Any improvement?

    • @sicanism5454
      @sicanism5454 9 місяців тому

      me and my ADHD partner are on brick of breaking up rn. She tried to break up with me 3x already bec she lost the sparks and she can’t feel it anymore and it happened overnight. Does that mean she doesn’t have genuine feelings for me or is it just her ADHD? Or also because I dont give her the Dopamine hit anymore just like in the early stage of our relationship? Does the feelings come back? I love my girlfriend and I’m really patient and understanding so a little help would be much appreciated

    • @hollywaller1265
      @hollywaller1265 9 місяців тому +2

      Happy to report, medication has helped a huge amount for every area of my life :)

    • @hollywaller1265
      @hollywaller1265 9 місяців тому

      @@OKeefeist I'm afraid I can't help you there. But anyone trying to break up with you 3 times is probably someone that you shouldn't be with. I get that you care, but if she doesn't anymore... Then you're not being fair to yourself trying to make it work

  • @pault2122
    @pault2122 Рік тому +5

    My partner has ADHD and videos like this really help me understand her. There we're definitely a couple points in this video where I smiled and went "Yup, that's her".

  • @3xplosiv3_k3ttan9
    @3xplosiv3_k3ttan9 Рік тому +10

    I found this helpful as someone who's boyfriend is very adhd (diagnosed and everything). I love him and sometimes our relationship is chaotic.
    Patience is a good word to describe it not only on my behalf but also for him. I'm not neurotypical, I have diagnosed MDD and PTSD so that adds a little bit more to the chaos where one partner wants to do everything and the other cant even find reason to get out of bed.
    Which is why we both have to be patient with each other. It's very common when my boyfriend interrupts me or I will have misheard something he said and because of his adhd he gets annoyed and impatient that I'm not paying attention bc my MDD really gets in the way of my memory.
    So we have to both understand our brains and work from there. It's been a learning experience I will say the least and we have taught each other a lot about what it means to have patience

  • @christin92
    @christin92 2 роки тому +2

    thank you so much for this video and your channel! it’s been really hard to figure this out for us but reading more and more , everything starts to makes sense. appreciate it.

  • @tanychandra8729
    @tanychandra8729 3 місяці тому +2

    Thank you for making this video❤
    Really needed this.

  • @funchable212
    @funchable212 2 роки тому +5

    Love your videos. Also, that’s literally more medals than I’ve even seen in one place

  • @mesharuu8331
    @mesharuu8331 3 роки тому +9

    Thank you! I was frustrated when it came to communicating with my new interest and I couldn’t explain why I just needed confirmation on a decision but you said it perfectly, it’s to need to be reassured over and over because in my head I interpret even the slightest thing into “ I don’t want To do the original plan with you anymore” if I don’t get reassurance that they in fact do want me around

  • @BugsyMcOvaltine
    @BugsyMcOvaltine 3 роки тому +30

    I've been sending your videos to my wife just so she has a concise explanation of the craziness that I put her through lol. Thank you for the work you're doing.

  • @daisyhinojosa23
    @daisyhinojosa23 Рік тому +5

    I love how the video ended so suddenly lol 😂such a nice unexpected touch esp when talking about adhd!!

  • @louease7150
    @louease7150 2 роки тому +4

    This is the most relatable adhd-related content I've come across thus far! Thank you for validating the SHIT OUTTA ME 🙌😃🥰

  • @ana_silly_little_things
    @ana_silly_little_things 2 роки тому +3

    I found this video to be helpful around understanding my Voicely's friend. Thank you! I am more aware of their feelings now.

  • @diosadeamore
    @diosadeamore 2 роки тому +9

    Yes, like others, I'm super appreciative hearing adhd described from the adhd person's perspective. It's definitely refreshing and helpful 🙂

  • @dotb5397
    @dotb5397 Рік тому

    Very good advice and I love how you were straight to the point!

  • @kaymastclinic2171
    @kaymastclinic2171 2 місяці тому +3

    Thank you
    It’s always a great encouragement to see helpful info on ADHD behaviours.

  • @Sherbetsink
    @Sherbetsink 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you for explaining this so kindly and so accurate at the same time

  • @aimeemckim5863
    @aimeemckim5863 2 роки тому +15

    I found this video very helpful to give me more insight on what people with adhd are going through. I'm neurotypical and my fiance has ADHD. I grew up with people with ADHD, but being in a romantic relationship with someone with adhd is very different.

  • @otbp277
    @otbp277 Рік тому +1

    This video was absolutely everything. Thank you.

  • @user-mp7ry7mh7m
    @user-mp7ry7mh7m 3 місяці тому +1

    I have ADHD your description really hits home.

  • @thejordyjoansofficial
    @thejordyjoansofficial 12 днів тому

    Thank you so much for this video. I have realised my ADHD diagnosis and everything you’ve said makes so much sense. I’m also fascinated by how your sex plays a role in your symptoms 🙈🙈🙈

  • @gbioucas
    @gbioucas 2 роки тому +2

    this was the video that i was really looking for, thank you~

  • @speakevermore
    @speakevermore Рік тому +5

    If you think a living space gets messy with just one adhd partner, imagine how bad it gets with TWO adhd partners 😂
    Also this video was really helpful and very validating. Thank you for that

    • @Weezie007
      @Weezie007 Рік тому +1

      #ADHD both of us & 3 ADHD children! What a life!

  • @mrjohncrumpton
    @mrjohncrumpton 8 місяців тому

    0:15 I zoned out and forgot the question! Great video, really appreciate it.

  • @PHYSICALPLANEBALANCER
    @PHYSICALPLANEBALANCER Рік тому +2

    Hey girl!! Thank you for sharing your story I feel like this video is spot on!! thank you for your help with explaining myself as well because I am sharing it with my partner. ❤️huge help!

  • @msdamiana1114
    @msdamiana1114 3 роки тому +4

    Very great video! And informative loved it!

  • @kitty2419
    @kitty2419 Рік тому

    This is really helpful..... I love that I can now understand my new partner

  • @virgobro2025
    @virgobro2025 2 роки тому +1

    You are funny and concise. Well done!

  • @chiliastic_raging801
    @chiliastic_raging801 Рік тому

    Thank you thank you thank you this was so good it really helps from your perspective 🙌🏾💚 (I happen to be the one with the ADHD🤦🏽‍♂️) and it helps from both points points of view which is so amazing

  • @renenewton2547
    @renenewton2547 Рік тому +5

    Thank you so much for all the information. This is my first relationship with someone with adhd and I’ve had a hard time understanding what they are going through and what they may be thinking. Again thank you.

  • @emilyeah
    @emilyeah Рік тому +1

    Haha. Love the ending. Subscribed 🤗

  • @marywhyte-edu
    @marywhyte-edu 18 днів тому +1

    New subscriber here! Thanks for the awareness.

  • @williamhbynumiii5269
    @williamhbynumiii5269 Рік тому

    Great video. Thank you for sharing.

  • @lilaschwarz1236
    @lilaschwarz1236 Рік тому +1

    Thanks for the clarity. My partner is hyperorganized, focused and capable of working through tasks at an unusual speed and with unusually good outcomes. He does feel like I am hlding him back with my lack of motivation, the special settings, under which I can function. The functioning partner IS actually the one getting things done, so I find it wrong to make him adjust to me struggling and floating. On the other hand, I can function only if I insist on my ways of doing something, getting y impulses for the instant dopamin-"injection". It's not easy. I love him, but don't want to hinder him or me from functioning the best way.

  • @lreevesnyc21
    @lreevesnyc21 2 роки тому +26

    My boyfriend of 6 years I met in our neighborhood pool. We swim regularly and live and work in Manhattan but continue to live separately , 3 blocks apart. Your video describes him perfectly. I used to think he was a narcissist but my best friend who has an adult 36 year old son with this and knows my boyfriend recognized all his symptoms.
    What you address well, and many of these videos address well, are the symptoms. And it does help to understand what is going on. What comes up for me every time though while listening to all these symptoms is, why would a nuro typical continue to stay in such a stressful situation? I love him yes but life is difficult and stressful these days. With Covid, a war in Ukraine, the death of family from Covid, job loss. Dealing with his behavior is more stress, supporting him emotionally every day, his rage and confusion puts ME in a depression. I’m exhausted. So people need to know, think very carefully about committing to marriage or living with a partner with this condition. It can and will become overwhelming managing your life AND his or hers and life is already demanding and stressful. I have dealt with this for 6 years. For me to keep my own life and responsibilities from falling apart we will continue to live separately. His chaos and disorder are overwhelming and exhausting. I wish I could save him. I know my presence has helped him tremendously but I too need support. For those with a large supportive family to support you with this that helps. But if you do not? Think carefully and realistically if you should live together and how this would play out over years together. You become a like a mother always overseeing everything. Imagine with children. Take your time. Do not rush into a commitment. Managing them takes a toll on YOUR health as well from the stress. Best to you all.

    • @graigjr9052
      @graigjr9052 2 роки тому +6

      this is terrible to say about someone with adhd you should think very carefully like do you know you nt are not east to be with either

    • @graigjr9052
      @graigjr9052 2 роки тому

      this is terrible to say about someone with adhd

  • @samwell4135
    @samwell4135 3 роки тому +8

    Great video. My partner has adhd and I’m trying to work through this. Thank you so much.

    • @cieralashay1921
      @cieralashay1921 2 роки тому +1

      Because it is INSANELY draining for the nonadhd person.

  • @skills-_-tookill1843
    @skills-_-tookill1843 Рік тому +12

    I had no idea how bad my ADHD was for my relationship it gets confusing as you don't see what they see it takes its toll on you and your partner I wish my partner understood me but she thinks I use it as an excuse just makes it even harder

  • @kaitlyntenters9283
    @kaitlyntenters9283 Рік тому +1

    I said chaotic and nearly spit out my drink when you said it too! Literally the first word that came to mind when thinking of dating me lol.

  • @TinaMarieJ
    @TinaMarieJ 2 роки тому +8

    Wow this was great and so on point. Loved this vid and love your curls!😍

    • @bubba283
      @bubba283 2 роки тому

      This sounded like me so much, my boyfriend has actually asked me about it.

  • @candacewilson7016
    @candacewilson7016 3 роки тому +26

    Just found your channel! Great content! My poor husband patiently put up with these things for over 10 years without us knowing I had ADHD. I was just recently diagnosed at age 36 and this video is so accurate!

    • @danielvergara3809
      @danielvergara3809 3 роки тому +4

      My partner has ADHD as well and pretty frequently I feel like the parent. I always have to clean up after her, turn off lights and make sure she closes doors. She leaves doors unlocked and twice has left the garage door open. I have thousands of dollars worth of tools. Luckily on both occasions I was home and was able to close the door. Sometimes it's exhausting. I constantly have to remind myself to have patience.

  • @lisacarlson7196
    @lisacarlson7196 24 дні тому

    I have spent my entire life wishing I was "normal" , that I could do the things that seem to come so naturally to others. I didn't know what was "wrong with me" until my daughter started to experience the the things I had experienced..and it was making her so sad. She had a wonderful 3rd grade teacher that helped me determine that she had ADHD and started treating her. It is not an easy road however as some meds made her lethargic, some did nothing, some affected her appetite in both directions. She is now 36 and still struggles with the daily tasks of life. At 62 I have learned several coping skills and have been moderately successful in my life..but not at relationships or with money. I have finally discussed this with my doctor and have a referral to start therapy. I don't know where it will lead but these videos help me to not hate on myself as much...but we both have a long way to go.

  • @M_Healing01
    @M_Healing01 Місяць тому

    Literally so glad I watched this so relatable and yes I have combined type ADHD *cry's*

  • @dolorestoolis4690
    @dolorestoolis4690 2 роки тому +17

    Great information. ADHD broke up my .daughter's five-year relationship. I am left watching her go through a terrible heartbreak without getting into her personal life. As a neurotypical partner, she knows it was not her fault. However, she is trying to deal with this sudden loss and is now seeking counseling.
    My heart breaks for her as a mom, and I'm worried about her mental health. She moved far away, all for a relationship and a job that she can't leave until her contract ends, and now she is left there alone. I suppose he is off searching for his following stimuli high. I would not wish this on anyone.
    A disclosure his own family blames his ADHD for the sudden break-up, and so do I.

    • @hotarubinariko
      @hotarubinariko Рік тому +1

      I'm not sure it's fair to blame the ADHD. Then the assumption would be all people with ADHD would end up screwing over their partners and breaking their hearts which is very much not the case. I have ADHD and I'm in a very loving long term relationship as a lot of people in the comments here are. The other matter is if his parents blame the ADHD, did they ever seek treatment for him? If so, then the question might be, why did the treatment for them not work? What is missing? Maybe it's not ADHD, maybe it's a different disorder altogether. Or maybe he's just a crappy person. Or maybe things just didn't work out. That happens, A LOT and it's ok. Certainly, if he is abandoning her as you make it sound, that's shitty, but not a symptom of ADHD.
      It's probably easier to blame the ADHD, when in reality, there comes a point where one is responsible for their own behavior, even if we have biological predispositions towards one way or the other. He sounds like a crappy person, who your daughter niavely fell for (we've all been there, especially those of us with ADHD), and made some short-sighted decisions due to the whimsy. It sucks but it happens. She will be ok again and will find someone better (and maybe even with ADHD!). I just mean to say, don't stigmatize ADHD. There's enough of that already and it's completely misplaced and harmful. But do hold him accountable. Be angry at the boy who broke your daughters heart, not a scapegoat disorder that he can use as an excuse. It's not an excuse.

  • @eugenemcleod525
    @eugenemcleod525 Рік тому

    A mother of a 50 yr woman with adhd in deniel so HELPFUL. SO ON POINT

  • @maddybarnes4645
    @maddybarnes4645 2 роки тому

    Very helpful, thank you!

  • @AlanRavenProgramer
    @AlanRavenProgramer Рік тому +1

    thank you I needed to hear this

  • @majakrenn5281
    @majakrenn5281 3 роки тому +2

    Hey thank you. It helps me keeping my love.

  • @vcrypto90
    @vcrypto90 2 роки тому +8

    Omg my bf has ADHD n my ignorant self ignored this not knowing what it really was! Now I understand his behavior n yes I get frustrated a lot because he is exactly like that. He talks too much n he’s so messy n forget stuffs n always jumping around he has the energy of a 3 year old 😣 he’s 27 lol

  • @annie.phoenix
    @annie.phoenix 2 роки тому +9

    I loved this video, it honestly made me understand much more about my partner. I'd only say that it may not always apply to neurotypicals, as I've got depression and anxiety (I know, how ¨typical¨) and my partner has ADHD and I feel as if somehow I was able to sometimes understand their behaviours without any ¨context¨. Still VERY helpful
    Much love

    • @urghostfren
      @urghostfren 2 роки тому +2

      crazy because im diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and my partner is diagnosed with adhd, so we are in a similar boat. its been tough, but i am learning to understand him and work through our obvious differences, as i hope yall are too. best of luck to you two 🫶🏼

  • @christinalane5398
    @christinalane5398 Рік тому

    Ok do you have video cameras installed in my house lol 😂so relatable. Thank you for sharing

  • @rocko34
    @rocko34 Рік тому +2

    I’ve started to feel lonely when talking to my adhd partner. Started to feel like there’s no point talking because she never seems to listen properly

  • @SteveSaeteurn
    @SteveSaeteurn Рік тому +2

    This video is really supporting me with understanding my relationship of 2.5 years with my gf. We’re splitting up because of all the imbalances you mentioned. Without her being able to regulate her ADHD a lot of responsibilities and stability within our relationship fell on my shoulders. I lost a lot of compassion and ended up resenting her.

    • @cedjames93
      @cedjames93 8 місяців тому +1

      This exactly how I feel 😢

  • @NightMystique13
    @NightMystique13 3 роки тому +11

    At 56, I am being assessed for ADHD. All of these examples are spot on-especially the RSD. 😕

  • @LegendExpressProject
    @LegendExpressProject 3 роки тому +15

    well, that's me. I know I have a huge purpose in life but ADHD makes me feel so useless sometimes. Just found out I have it.

  • @maki9396
    @maki9396 2 роки тому

    The guessing game was entertaining!

  • @jilllibertucci9304
    @jilllibertucci9304 2 місяці тому

    You are spot on I have to tune so does my husband

  • @fief139
    @fief139 Рік тому +8

    I dont understand the cheating part though. Is it that far out of their control?? That just seems like something a bad person does and i dont see how adhd is an excuse

    • @bluesea-hb3db
      @bluesea-hb3db Рік тому +5

      Agree

    • @kayshawn.
      @kayshawn. Рік тому +4

      yeah, that's a damn cop out. coming from someone with severe adhd.

    • @bigfellachocolatebar6987
      @bigfellachocolatebar6987 Рік тому +1

      its an excuse for greedy ppl with adhd thats all lmaoo you have to plan and act on that boredom adhd ppl are terrible at planning so it would take a huge amount of effort to cheat which only comes from a shitty person lmaoo

  • @fiaa.6539
    @fiaa.6539 3 роки тому +15

    Oh all those medals thoughhh 😶😶

  • @peytonpresley3720
    @peytonpresley3720 2 роки тому +2

    I zoned out when you was talking about zoning out

  • @mysticbinch
    @mysticbinch 3 роки тому +20

    Could you please do a video on adhd and memory? I have a very excellent and vivid longterm memory but my short-term memory is so bad lol 😭

    • @bubba283
      @bubba283 2 роки тому +1

      Mine too, my boyfriend questions me often

  • @peachfuzz7047
    @peachfuzz7047 2 роки тому

    Wonderful video

  • @HollyOak
    @HollyOak 2 роки тому +13

    The only thing I'd add is, the non ADHD partner is not always NT, sometimes they are ND as well, just not ADHD.

  • @jessicaisraelsen8815
    @jessicaisraelsen8815 Рік тому +1

    Can you make a video about two ADHD people in a relationship? I am combined type and my husband is the hypo-active type. Sometimes I feel I have to be the neuro-typical in our relationship, which wears me out, since I usually the life of the party and a free spirit. Help here!!! I love my husband but feel overwhelmed by things he does that I used to do but am now better at controlling because I am aware. He was only diagnosed three years ago and is now 50 years old. I was diagnosed at 28 and am turning 44 this year, I have spent years learning about my brain and body and working to better my behavior issues, but sometimes I just feel stressed like I need to fix him too but he’s not as concerned to improve himself. Patience is so HARD!! Thanks again!

  • @evipaemelaere8557
    @evipaemelaere8557 2 роки тому +4

    What would you do if you suspected your partner had ADHD? And, from the other side, those that have now been diagnosed: prior to your diagnosis, how would you have wanted your partner to handle the situation if he/she suspected you were struggling with undiagnosed ADHD? I recognize these behaviors in my partner, and they have been the source of many of our arguments. Combined with what he has told me about what he was like as a child, I think ADHD explains a lot. Thinking of his behavior in that context I can certainly be much more empathetic and take different approaches that lead to actual solutions. If it really is ADHD, though, he might benefit from treatment and find a better way of coping, feel happier too. I just don't know if or how to bring it up, as he is very sensitive about anything said about him that could be taken as negative.

  • @erickb.4586
    @erickb.4586 3 роки тому +15

    I am currently dating someone with ADHD, PTSD, and other things. Lemme say the first word that came to mind was honestly patience and the only word was that to be honest. I loved this video, much understanding from this, thank you!

    • @atsiii29
      @atsiii29 2 роки тому

      How are you surviving? I am dating with ADHD and PTSD too

    • @Amexblackcard
      @Amexblackcard Рік тому

      @@atsiii29 How are you surviving? I've just got called unsupportive and don't know what to do. It is all overwhelming for me.

  • @groawning1345
    @groawning1345 Рік тому

    This was so apt

  • @vcrypto90
    @vcrypto90 2 роки тому +3

    When we moved in together I used to cry cause I’m super clean and organized and he was soo messy we bought tools n wood to build a dresser n we needed to remove everything from the closet, well he just removed a couple shirts n went back to the living room to play video games 😣🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @MyEverydayGarden
    @MyEverydayGarden 9 днів тому

    This all describes my husband😢I have learnt to lower expectations and have now pretty much withdrawn myself from the relationship as it’s worn me down and it’s all I can do to cope. He refuses to look at anything he may need to look at and assumes I’m the one with ‘issues’. Wish I’d seen the red flags years ago. It’s lonely. At least now I have a label for it. I feel sad for him and me.

  • @smhdancerzroxsmhdancerzrox6484

    This video is great. But I wish someone would make a video for the person with ADHD not just the partner. Like I know that our partner needs to know this stuff and put in extra effort, but my partner already does everything he’s supposed to to help me and our relationship (he’s amazing) and I just want to know how I can hold up my side and be a better partner despite my ADHD. I feel bad that I feel like he’s trying his best to support me but I’m here barely being able to deal with myself. I want to be better so I can support him too. Can you make a video for people with ADHD with tips about being better partners?

    • @drclairesira8497
      @drclairesira8497 4 місяці тому

      Don't give up! We help people with ADHD build their relationship skills and I'm sure other groups are doing this coaching too!

  • @miriamsreality
    @miriamsreality 2 роки тому

    Great video

  • @Yozzard
    @Yozzard 2 роки тому +2

    Great video, But What do i do now with my relationship? How can we solve our problems?

  • @Yt-KarmaGaming
    @Yt-KarmaGaming 2 роки тому +2

    Watching this video, I’m dating a guy with ADHD and I wanted to learn something so I can do the adjustments coz I love him that much but I just realize that mostly of what you said is myself. How/when did you know that you have ADHD? Helpful video tho. Have a blessed life ahead. xoxo

  • @julesgiddings8747
    @julesgiddings8747 Рік тому +1

    Boredom in relationships 😂 I’m a lot older than 27 and I’ve always been bored in relationship, it takes about 1 month. How people with this condition stay married is beyond me! 🥴

  • @adelade0125
    @adelade0125 Місяць тому +1

    Tysm I have boyfriend with ADHD and I am trying to learn what he is dealing with and how can I help so tysm

  • @LaniBeanz
    @LaniBeanz 2 роки тому +4

    LMAOOO when you were talking about getting distracted, I noticed your tattoo and thought “Wow I love their tattoo! I want to compliment them in the comments” 🤦🏾‍♀️ bruh. But anyways haha I love your tattoo and this video was super helpful ♥️

    • @WhatintheADHD
      @WhatintheADHD  2 роки тому +3

      Lol thank you!! My artist is 🔥🔥🔥

  • @JesusLightsYourPath
    @JesusLightsYourPath 2 місяці тому +1

    The thing that really bothers me is disorganization. I don't know if I want to marry someone who leaves a mess around.

  • @novaember9990
    @novaember9990 3 роки тому +7

    lmao the questions of 4:21 are 1 to 1 the ones my bf gives when he feels unsure, same as the self image dysphoria and thinking they are a bother. But I am always glad to reassure them that they are not a bother and that I appreciate them. Same thing if he thinks he disappoints me, cause he ain't! He is amassing and I wont stop telling him he is if he needs reassurance >:3

  • @JFWilde
    @JFWilde Рік тому +3

    The thing is, half of these things are my boyfriend who is diagnosed with ADHD, the other half is me and about a third of these are we both.

  • @nehabhatt491
    @nehabhatt491 Рік тому +1

    my husband also indicated once that he has this ADHD , and i just was not into getting that thing and its been one year of our marriage with all my frustration that i was so annoyed with all his behaviours.. i cried, i fought and tried hard to make him understand my things politely but i just got shaterred everytime that why dont he get my things. where am i lacking to make him understand ..... its way way harder to deal with an ADHD partner but after all my research on this i got atleast a closure that what i have to deal with so atleast i can make myself calm down by accepting this thing in my partner now..

  • @Ngan.marianguyen
    @Ngan.marianguyen 7 місяців тому +1

    Im hypersensitive and i find being w an adhd is so emotionally torturous. Worst thing is ive only been attracted to those🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @scotthartman9834
    @scotthartman9834 Рік тому

    Thank you!

  • @AStarryEyedLife
    @AStarryEyedLife 3 роки тому +5

    I love your hair