How I survived workplace bullying | Sherry Benson-Podolchuk | TEDxWinnipeg
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
- What happens when you’re on the bullying end or an organization meant to protect people? Who do you go to for help?
Sherry is a retired RCMP officer of 20 years. She has a degree in conflict resolution studies, which alongside of her personal experience with bullying in the workplace, has helped her to learn how to empower people to speak up and be educated
on how to do so in the most effective way. She aims to find the link between leadership, self-esteem, bullying and the importance of attitude to instill hope.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
The WORST thing about the bullying is that SO MANY people see it and look away! that NOBODY helps you. They just leave you alone... this is so horrible, one can only understand this, when you experience it yourself! and therefore i am asking everyone who reads this: PLEASE DONT LOOK AWAY! PLEASE SAY or DO SOMETHING!!!
freedom they are scared the bullies will start on them. I know this bc I am talking to those woman while they watch me get bullied
Being bullied is very isolating. You see all these people who know it is happening and do nothing. You try to use the chain of command to put a stop to it, but it basically comes down to your word against the bully's and all the bully's buddies will gladly say you're lying, while the witnesses remain silent.
It is puzzling why witnesses do remain silent. I suppose part of it is that they don't want to get involved. Perhaps out of fear or perhaps just diffusion of responsibility. When so many know its happening, surely someone else will do something, so there's no need for me to stick my neck out.
Another part of it is a toxic environment. I've seen otherwise good people turn flat out rotten in an environment that supports and encourages it. That's part of what makes doing the right thing so hard sometimes. Those who stand up and try to make a positive change get beaten down while those who kiss up to the bullies get preferential treatment and promotions.
@@randomstuff-qu7sh You are spot on. Thank you for taking the time to write this and share it.
@@randomstuff-qu7sh - Thank you for speaking up about the way people who step forward as witnesses to bullying often suffer serious retaliation, while those who kiss knee get strokes and promotions. I think this is a big problem in our world, causing great pain to many. The rotten system that rewards the silence of complicity is a huge drain that often swallows the possibility of ethical behavior - even while our world is in dire need of ethical behavior, in so many ways. May we who care find the courage to speak up if at all possible, when we are bullied or when we witness another person being bullied. May we plant seeds of courage to help others speak up. We can build a world beyond bullying, step by tiny step.
I've stepped in when I can't stand someone being hostile and bullying to another person, but I can bet everyone here has experienced the utter shock when the victim suddenly makes allegiance with the bully, leaving yourself as the outsider. I deal very very carefully with victims now. The bullies are who they are, consistent and habitual. The emotionally unsure victims are the weak spot you've got to keep in perspective. If this scenario has happened to you once you're very unlikely to put your head on the block a second or third time in defense of a victim.
This happens in medicine all the time - NEVER question those around you as you will be punished. As a med student in my final year, in my final months, I'm questioning if I even want to be involved in medicine anymore. It attracts and rewards narcissists, not compassionate people. Compassionate people are targets.
nicole and cortney I totally agree with both of you!! I have been in the medical field for over 30 years and I know what I am doing. That's the whole point of the bullies I have encountered, they want you to think you are stupid and do not know what you are doing. I've had coworkers treat me poorly and even a supervisor was plain out rotten to me, even told coworkers she hated my F-ing guts! Mind you this woman was doing my yearly performance reviews!! I had to report her...it got so bad. But by FAR the worst and most mob like bullying I have dealt with has been in the mental health field...believe it or not! It's terrible and has made me go into the worst depression I have ever experienced and it continues. All I can do is pray for people like them but I do believe in Karma too. I liked what you said about compassionate people, I have always been told that I take too long with my patients. One supervisor I had would come in the room and talk about the patient like they were deaf or not able to understand her. #1 it was embarrassing not only for me but for her too #2 this maybe should have been first; It's downright ignorant to the patient and disrespectful to them and me! She got hers...it took a good while, many people reported her to HR and she was given more responsibility and higher power! she actually became the head of the entire department, now that is scary! Finally it took a few of the radiologists and even the insurance company that backed the hospital, they had a meeting one day and the next she was gone! And ya know what? I even felt bad for her as stupid as I am, it was because she is a single parent like me and I have been let go before too and I know just how terrible it feels. I don't understand these mean people...smh..... It takes so much more energy to be mean than it does to simply be nice to those around you.
Have a good day! :)
nicole k
What exactly do u mean? I have a total bully narcissist questioning ME right now (medical field) and she's totally gaslighting me. I don't know what to do other than let my supervisor know. This nurse is nuts, I know I'm not crazy, but now I'm concerned that she'll ruin my credibility. How do I know she's not spreading lies about my ability as an employee???
wows. this makes me not wanna go to medschool..
nicole k wow i found this video after I incident at work in the hospital. I understand u so much
You are so correct. Left a 20 year career as an RN. I'm just done.
By the way, for anybody who scrolls through the comments - bully targets are not "soft petals". Psychological abuse can and will wear down ANYBODY. ANYBODY.
Coach Emily..
Yes. I am mentally very strong. Because the senior management turned a blind eye, I ended up breaking down. I pat my back that my documentation saved me when I was offered to move to a safer location.
My bully did not suceed in making me think.less of myself.
Coach Emily The Triumphant yes 100% I'm going through it right now and I said to my mum wants wrong with me that I'm getting bullied? And she it happens to everyone, more then you think.
Yes. Absolutely. And there are some people out there that are very good at being bullies and derive great pleasure at tormenting their victims. Sick and cruel people, often initially presenting a charming persona.
Just give them a sneeze. Hahaha!
You are so right . " soft petals " . . . I finally had to get psychiatric help with handling bullying . And after 34 years of psychotherapy sessions I can finally get through work and life successfully .
This made me feel less alone. 💙
Melissa Flora me too , everywhere has this situation. So nothing to escape
I have been attacked and harassed by a co worker for a year now. I can't imagine the horror of facing it for 20 years. My heart goes out to all the victims who experience this
Yep same here 🙏🏼
@@Matin921 Uh-huh . Everywhere . The other tenants in my apartment complex and their damn barking dogs . Thats where I have to tolerate bullying . But it is still not as harshly intimidating as experience as hers .
You’re not alone.
I myself was bullied at my previous workplace. I have to say that it was one of the most painful, harrowing and sickening periods throughout my life. The issue for me was that it was all done on a one-to-one basis and was almost impossible to document it. I eventually left my job as a consequence of bullying and I am now in therapy to try and overcome the trauma I suffered.
Matthew McGeady hi Matthew it’s august 2018 and a year since you mentioned you were in therapy - hope it’s ok to ask how you’re progressing ?
Hope You're well!
Did the therapy help you? I still can't get over the bullying after 20 years.
@@lovelypolishperson5566 same.
@Dr Sir such lack of empathy .. we do not all have many employment options and should not have to leave a job that is good just because of the bullies. that would be letting the bullies win.
I was bullied by a couple people, then other join in. I was quiet, did my work accurately & on time, I stayed to myself, and I always gave extra part of myself to help the organization. I was confused, lonely, helpless, & planning my escape from life. My career was everything to me, and it was destroyed for no reason. The bullying was covert, constant, repeated, & made me feel like the worst person on the planet. It was isolating & I actually drove me to a point of questioning my sanity & sense of reality. You’re not alone. But people are afraid to speak up because they don’t want it happening to them. You may feel alone if you don’t fit into the culture. You’re not alone in the scheme of things. You didn’t deserve what happened to you & it’s not your fault even if you made mistakes under intense stress. Lots of love & peace to those who worked hard, did their best, & are still coping with the long-term effects of bullying at work.
Sorry this happened to you. Me too. I was suicidal and homicide. I reported it to people who could stop it and I received retraining orders on me. TORT is the only way to teach these bullies lessons.
Dear Annamaria, I know it's been two years since your comment was posted but i say a big Thank you! This really gets to the "heart" of the matter. I hope that you are doing well.
@@HostileWorkplaceEXPOSED Wait a minute! What? there's a sick mentality (of the bullies). The people who bully enjoy it and their conscience is SEARED. Wishing you all the best.
I’m in that point where these bullies have been destroyed my career and the insidious passive aggressive behaviors, gaslighting, and putting you down in very creative ways that it is not easily perceived but who it is involve including the ones supporting the abusers can noticed and just waiting for your reaction! Ostracizing me and excluding me from important information that affects my performance is another way they use too. I get really depressed the night before I need to go to work and it is unfair because I love what I do!
The awful thing is that a lot of work place bullying is a covert form of abuse. Which means that it's harder to document and easier for the abuser to deny when things are happening in roundabout, underhanded, manipulative ways. They can easily tell you: oh it's all just in your head, which is something a colleague of mine actually has said when I confronted her.
However, thank you for sharing and opening up the dialogue and showing how you have overcame it. It gives the rest of us hope.
The moment they pull that shit pull the cell phone out and hit record.
Seriously this - have a phone on recording and just walk about normally, a bit close to the bullies so that the recording is clear. In about a week or two you will have enough footage to corner the person legally.
poetry battle
Spy cam is even better.
edited: With some manipulative people, the only way you would be able to oust them is to have 24 hours surveillance following that person. The smarter manipulators aren't going abuse you right in front of your face-they'll lie behind your back to people when you're not there, etc.
and those are the people who are the worst to deal with.
Most people go home and cry , work , retire , then die.
mary shaffer you are so right. That has been me for quite some time. The cry and work portion that is. But I have realized this....When I go home and cry, what is the bully doing. Are they crying??? They are going about their lives, not giving a flip about who they are hurting or who they did hurt. I have realized that I have to move on and work and let the bully be who they are and know that they will get dealt with in due time.
buy less stuff, then you can work less, and retire earlier. I don't understand why everyone needs such massive houses, tons of stuff in the homes, expensive cars, kids, dogs, vacations, yet then they pull the work retire die card. Your life is what you make it. Don't like it? Make it different.
Realize one thing that there are many people who are alike you, less than you, better than you..who you choose to be your friend...I prefer who match the compatibility....will give respect you...understand you...
Francis Fulford I hear ya
Because working is so hard right? This comment section is filled with pussies
"There must be something wrong with me..." I started to cry! I needed this today. Thank you!
Same
I was bullied in the work place .... I will never ever forgive the guy . But I know in my heart he will pay one day. I am a great believer in Karma ....What goes around comes around , if not in this life, in the next.
maryann i I've asked myself the same question, What did I do in any past life I may have lived to deserve being treated like this? I always thought I must have been a terrible person to be treated as such in this life.
My bullies got promotions and I quit because I was losing my self-respect. Now I work at a much better place and my managers understand fairness and recognize hard work. Now I am a shift supervisor. You don't deserve to be treated that way. The best thing to do is find a similar job in your field right away so you can get out of there! Jump ship!
Robert John Redrupp yes true it will come back to them
Bullies are either people with deep baggage or maniacal sociopaths. And they tend to have pain, addictions and ego. Your bully will not have to wait till a rebirth to get it back, he just has to piss off a powerful person and he will get a nice hard lesson. Most bullies grow up and repent in their later years. But some don't.
But everyone gets old and bullies are not likely to raise great families that care for them in their old age. Bullies are setting themselves up for a couple of decades of pain in old age. Also know that a happy positive mind will not bully others. Bullying is a chronic disease which eats them from inside over time. That too will bring them relentless emotional pain in their lonely years. Know this for certain.
I might sound brutally cold, but bullies do this to themselves. Having seen a lot of bullying myself, and the bullies that never change for decades, I have very little sympathy for them.
I would probably forgive them and ask that they be spared punishment, save that they must feel intense shock and fear for one good long moment (like a close shave with death) that changes them for the rest of their lives. That much they should get. They deserve a chance to repent so that they can mend their ways.
actsrv9 You do not sound brutally cold. You were right on the money. Bullies are maniacal sociopaths or psychopaths.
Workplace bullying is something that people dont think exist. Most people think that bullying only takes place in schools. It does not get dealt with in schools and then it progresses into a much bigger and problematic issue when kids and teens become adults. The ones who were bullied tend to bully their co workers, or have that mentality of wanting pay back for being mistreated. I have been bullied and singled out at my jobs. I had to realize that first and foremost, I come to work to do a job, and to pay my Bill's, and put food on the table. I dont carry my problems and discuss my personal business at work.
This is where I have been a target at work because I dont share my personal business and get into the chatty frivolous talk. When I do speak, its sensible talk, intellectual talk and not that of silliness. Not to seem like I am above anyone, but people get bullied at work mainly because of someone having different views and opinions opposite of what majority people think.
I remember working on a job, and my co worker one day, asked if I would go out on my lunch break to go to the bank and cash/deposit their check. I told them that I didn't feel comfortable doing that. When I got back from lunch, another co worker asked why I didn't go out to cash the co workers check and that I should have done that. Next thing you know, I am an outcast because I did not cash their check. I was picked on how I wore my hair, picked on by not talking to them (gossiping) at work, picked on why I didn't go out on the weekends, picked on just to be picked on. It got really bad. I had to realize that because people are adults, doesn't mean they act like adults. The problem doesn't lie with the person that is being bullied. It's the one who does the bullying. It's more of a power think. People know who they can and can't bully, intimidate and ignore.
Wise.
If the bullies can't intimidate you they will marginalize and isolate you and give you the silent treatment.
@Derone Cerrone Oh look victim blaming at it’s finest.
Preach
I was bullied all the way through and I would never bully anyone all I ever wanted was a fair go
how is it possible for such disturbed individuals to be allowed at work????????
Whom are you referring to?
because many people at the top, running the companies, are sociopaths and psychopaths. Just because someone is successful in business does not mean they are a good person (also doesn't mean they are necessarily a bad person), nor does it mean they use their energy correctly. Many don't.
Most people do not want to intervene.
@@easytoslip Very true. Only a few people understand this
I've asked this question so many times.....
my problem is when supervisors enjoy the company of bullies and they do not want to take action or step in when they are supposed to. This to me is big because it is not just their job to set the rules but it is also an ethical commitment
😭😭😭😭😭 why are people so mean especially when ur such a nice person
I agree 100 percent. Being ignored is emotional bullying, a mental abuse game to force someone who is not liked or welcomed to quit. I know exactly what this is, honestly. I am DAILY being ignored by many of my coworkers. I guess they want me to quit. It is not mentally healthy to be ignored and/or rejected.
experiencing this now. I hurts me that I treated them nice and even did a favor for them.
@@mincoffee1995 :
If you could ask for a transfer, do so. If not, find another job. Trust me, I left a good job site because of the silent treatment. It leaves an emotional scar. You don't deserve this treatment. Move on for yourself, for you.
Glad she spoke about "Why stay?" it is not that easy to find a new job that paid over 50K a year. I am in the process of trying to get a side hustle going to become a full-time career. Something self-employed. But I have obligations and need the medical insurance. I created a "911" kit. Things I can do to deal with stressful days. It has truly helped me!
hotcarmel12 what’s a 911 kit??
The saddest part about workplace bullying is that a lot of people endure it not because they don't have the courage to stand up for themselves. The problem is the price of standing up for yourself. A lot of people are confined to certain jobs because of family, health insurance or even debt. They cannot afford to risk losing their job so they take the abuse instead. 😔
The hardest thing to accept about life is that there are people who get great satisfaction in hurting others. Be kind to one another.💙💚💛💜
I agree
The hardest part about death is that these folks will pay an immense price for what they did.
@@paulclinton6414 The hardest thing about death is that you will realize you are wrong & there is nothing after death.
A simple yet powerful statement. So true.
That is true, but there are bullying at work too, you just have to learn to live with it if you're bullied at work
I worked as support staff for a judge who bullied me for almost 10 years. After he destroyed my mental health and my career, I quit. The whole courthouse knew what was happening but no one could, or would, do anything to stop it. After I left, he found a new victim. This was long ago before there was a term for what he was doing. Namecalling, gaslighting, insults, humiliating me in front of co-workers, once he even threw a file at me in front of a courtroom full of people. He's still on the bench today. I was a single parent and it was the best paying job in the rural area where I lived, so I stayed far too long.
That's scary.
Wow, sounds like that person was mentally ill
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope things are going better.
😣😣😣 God bless you.
They can smell need..
the 74 person who disliked this video, are you sure you are not the bully?
Wow, that is quite the assumption unless you know her personally. Do you?
good question
Its more than 74 now
As someone who disliked the video... the reason is that her process is not effective or progressive.
I was a victim of bullying for most of my life, I then found out that one of my bullies, during my school years, died at the age of 22. What goes around comes around!!!
Karma is a bitch!
Kenny Pham I know right!
lovey I am glad you understand, i just wanted them to stop bullying me.
LOL ! You can't bully your way out of illness .
@Carmen DeAngelo I would, in fact, it's my first wish in the morning
Raising awareness of work place bullying is always a good thing. Sadly, these fuckers(narcissists) are everywhere & have all other(healthy & codependent) people under their thumb & they are people who need to give you a reference once you pluck courage to leave. As they are so good at pretending & charming, people are more inclined to believe them, so nightmare of abuse continues as it is difficult to find another job without a good reference.
Hear hear!!! Most organisations require a reference from your last place of employment as well as the one before. If your current manager is the bully, I never hear of any solutions to overcome this. I believe this is a big reason why people don't leave toxic workplaces and look for another job!
LoL,Ergo,your enemies think more of you than their friends.Nice.
Yes, agreed. I felt afraid about that at first, but I would never let a narcissistic boss control me, at least not for long. I quit my job and trusted that it would all work out, because it always has. I didn't need a reference from her at all and I've been offered four jobs since leaving. Despite disagreeing with the boss, I had strong connections with several other people I worked alongside, many of whom were of a high social standing. They were all well-aware of the quality of my work and they were all happy to provide references and even alternative employment if necessary, but as it turns out it wasn't necessary. Toxic employers thrive on the power and control, but it's just a job and they're just a reference, nothing more. If I couldn't go into a new job and speak my truth then about why I left my previous role, then it's not the place for me.
You got that right. Read a piece titled The Hatchet Man's Playbook.
Carolyn nolan until they have a breakdown and have no choice
bullying in the work place is very common thats why alot of peaple dont work
Jackie Keegan I was bullied at work and it was very subtle but came to a head when I got pulled into a meeting with my two supervisors. They proceeded to inform me that many of the direct care staff don't feel comfortable working with me and also some nurses. I am a nurse and I was floored! I had no idea they were reporting me continually, I would work side by side with a person they would ask me "do you mind if I step out for a minute?" Of course not go ahead I would reply; I thought they were going to smoke. Well they were going to the office to tell on me for something anything and the crazy thing is, I was doing NOTHING wrong. I did every single requirement of my job, everything in my job description and more! I believe they were telling on me and saying I wasn't strong enough or assertive enough to work with the group of children we did. Meanwhile I was the oldest and on more than one occasion I was the first and only one to so in and break up a fight, yes a fist fight between two or more girls. But they didn't feel comfortable enough????
I told the spvsrs I think it's because I don't startle easily, my feathers don't get ruffled as soon as an argument begins, not one patient was I 'afraid' of. I actually had a very good rapport with many of not all of the 'difficult' patients.
OK short story already too long. these two spvsrs told me they watched me work and did not observe ANY of the things that were reported to them. in my head in thinking.. so why are we here.. then one of them says Well when workers are around them the inappropriate behaviors cease. I just laughed and told her "What you see is what you get, I am never fake"
After that I never had a comfortable conversation with any of my colleagues, I would wonder if they were one of the tattletales. yes it was very weird. I ended up getting so frustrated one evening due to my assignment that was a shitty one because I was not one of the favorites. I was verbal about my feelings and I got suspended and ultimately terminated!! it all stemmed from the bullying and lousy treatment I received.
thank you if you have read all of this. I just wanted to show how sour things can go and all because if mean people. oh I also had disclosed to the patients and co-workers (during our group sessions we held for the pts) I suffered from major depression, anxiety and daily suicidal thoughts. Even with them knowing this they still treated me in this manner, I guess they were okay with it since it was behind my back and not to my face. just be careful everyone, be very careful...
Polish Princess so sorry to hear of your experience of bullying in the work place I know what's it like no one in work is your friend someone in their group would criticise work I do that's why I don't work anymore
Polish Princess be strong rise above them all karma will come their way
Jackie Keegan Thank you!
Jackie Keegan I am beginning to do Agency nursing, this is where I will NOT be an employee of the facility I work at and therefore not in the mix with all of the BS. Of course I have to abide by the rules and that's fine with me and what I want to do. Go to work and then leave at the end of the shift.Not having to worry about the politics of the place. I'm really looking forward to this! Thank you :)
if I spoke up about my workplace bullying, I would be on the street 😢😢😢😧😧
dieiiiiing....loolololol
Believe in your particular skills/talents. If you do not have an education, get one. You will become desirable by other employers.
Yousef O what are you dieing about? what is so funny?
*my ass...Not mutt ass..although some may think that..
I thought the same reason. if I take certain action to defend bully, I had to pay some kind of price. if fighting back bully needs to pay your price, then just pay it. if you lose anything ,you can earn it back later. but bully will never stop until you say "no". don't be afraid to pay the price. we all have to pay for something in life, bully is just one of it. it's so worth to pay for a happy life.
Yes I worked at a place that was toxic and eventually it just makes you stronger. Nothing can dim the light within you. NEVER GIVE UP even when they try to shut you down. In the end YOU will always WIN. Karma will come get them one way or another its not our job to care.
im not putting up with abuse . no matter how strong you get, you will wear down at some point or they will do something to set you up
6 year being bullying can u imagine how life were at near the cliff,everydays their push you inch by inch to make your life so misery with bullship smiles.
👌👌👌
Emma, "nothing can dim the light within you" -- wow, you made a powerful comment, there.
You really brave lady. I was bullied in work and lost my job for having cancer! I fought them, they tried to humiliate me, I was on chemo. I won unfair and unlawful dismissal. The ruthless Banker who owned the company and allowed this died of a heart attack. I wish death on no one but there is such a thing as the LAW OF KARMA. You matter. Tell someone, look after you! Some of these have personality disorders! XXXXX Love to all MISTYCELT Singer Songwriter:)
All of them are psychopaths and narcissists!
@Derone Cerrone Karma really works if you did something bad to others to hurt people. What goes around comes arounf
Lucky, I wish all those who bullied me lose their lives too
I hate this, it's just what the world is like. I'm currently not at work yet since I'm only in high school but im watching this just in case when I grow up and get bullied at work
I work for feds and getting bullied by my supervisor.
The problem is that he is well liked and highly regarded by management. He mentally abuses me when no one is watching. This is why it is very difficult for me to come forward. No one will believe me.
Riche Flowers i call this death by a thousand paper cuts.
Document, tape etc., make them see him for what he is
Bodycam br0
My manager is a bully. I liked response: "you are humiliating me. I feel embarrassed, I feel bullied". I would also add: "I don't feel safe"
Many experts and legal measures advise to remove feelings from the equation and when describing the experience. That's ridiculous to me, because feelings give us information. It's the feedback about stimuli in the environment. Just like physical pain is vital in accounts of physical trauma so is emotional pain. It's one measure of the impact of trauma and so on. How else would we know the gravity of an experience without feelings? The whole point of any experience is how we feel.
I said this. It got turned around on me and they contracted hr and said i was being a bully. It's sad. I feel statements are good. My boss told me i play the victim. Good grief.
@@kmdeleryfeelings allow us to interpret the situation. And navigate our environment. It's our compass. Be suspicious of anyone who tells you, "you're too sensitive!!!"
Narcissists feed off emotion. They LOVE to cause pain and suffering! They quickly become frustrated and bored with NON-reactionary people so DON'T FEED THE MONSTERS! The NPD person has no feelings of EMPATHY or compassion but DO feel pathological envy, anger and rage. Of course you have feelings but don't assume everyone is like yourself. That's a big mistake!
The assertiveness formula is "This is how I see it, This is how it makes me feel, This is what I need from you..." It helps you learn to leave passive aggressive, and passive ways of being behind, without having to be aggressive around a strong personality person.
What a courageous person! Thank you so much for your brave persistence in the face of banal evil. You have helped more decent but struggling people than you know!
I agree . Her bravery to speak up is appreciated .
Well said
Thank you for sharing this!! It is so inspiring that you bounced back and stood up to these bullies! I was mobbed by a narcissist and her flock of enablers and they made five years of my life a living hell. They destroyed my confidence and I finally gave up and left, and walked away from a career I had dedicated half of my life to. I might have had the strength to hang on if even ONE person had supported me. But none did. Your message is inspiring! Gives me hope that others are hearing it.
Yes, it's 10 times harder when u have a whole mob of co-workers badmouthing u! Ppl say to go to another job, but they will do the same thing at the next job. They know there's power in #'s and they don't care how nice ur, they just hate u for no damn reason. I avoid gossipy, two-faced ppl and this pisses them off to no end!! I wish I could work from home or win the lottery. No one will do a damn thing about workplace bullying! If u avoid them, they get worse! If you stand up to them, you get labeled as being difficult and unlikeable and/or get fired!! Evil people disgust me!!
It's terrifying when people gang up....and they know it!!
Yes, they do that. Wherever I am they show up like vultures, pretending they have to work were I work. Their friends just show up at work harassing me with threatening behavior that includes making up the nastiest stories they can about me.
This is a very long post of my experience. I was a victim of workplace bullying for 5 long years. I worked at a detention center as a clerk. It all started with a change in command. The new jail chief was the absolute poster child for the kind of person who is not fit to be a supervisor at all. He was arrogant, egotistical, ruled with an iron fist, and just a flat out jerk! Two supervisors who worked under him were the same way (they were my direct supervisors). I had been expecting a promotion, which was instead given to someone else who had been there half the time I was there. I became upset and very depressed. I had to see a psychiatrist and begin medication. This is when the bullying began. One day just before I was to leave for a doctor's appointment, I was taken aside and raked over the coals about anything and everything from carrying in "excess baggage" (which consisted of a half gallon of tea I brought in with me each day) to my use of the internet at work (I kept my internet window open to a page I used regularly for my job and minimized on my screen for quick access) to how I needed to "get over" the issue of the promotion (when you are suffering from depression, you can't just "get over" something). As the bullying escalated, I was told I was being watched, my internet was turned off, I was not allowed to go to the doctor/dentist on Mondays or Fridays (yet my busiest day was on Wednesdays), I was given a set of rules that applied only to me, and I was nit-picked half to death. One day I was written up for something stupid (like dropping my keys in the parking lot). I asked for a grievance hearing, which turned out to be a joke because it was overseen by the supervisors of the detention center. I tape recorded the meeting. I was ruled against and asked for a grievance hearing with the Sheriff's Office (I had forwarded the Sheriff a copy of my first grievance hearing). When my next grievance hearing came, I was told I was not allowed to tape it. The very first thing my bullying supervisors did was make this embarrassing and humiliating very personal comment that had nothing whatsoever to do with my grievance hearing. It was simply a tactic they used to distract me and throw me off track in the hearing. It worked unfortunately. Right after my hearing, before the Sheriff even made his decision, I was called into the chief's office one morning as I came into work and was told that I was being transferred out of the job that I had held there for 9 years into another job working under yet another bully. I was never given any reason for this transfer (I know it was just a retaliatory move). The Sheriff eventually ruled against me, no shocker there; they always stick together. The real shocker was when I was called into another meeting at the Sheriff's Office. I was forced to sign a letter in which, unbelievably, I was reprimanded for documenting the things that had been happening to me! The Sheriff even joined in with the bullying by requiring me to go to weekly counseling through the Employee Assistance Program! A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant and went off my medications cold turkey, which made me very ill. I couldn't work. I ended up losing the baby and became absolutely terrified of going back to work and facing my bullies. I got back on my meds and forced myself to go back into that horrible place. Before 8:30 am on my first day back, I was sitting in the jail chief's office with this maniac yelling at me because I had misunderstood something he had said to me. What kind of man takes a woman who has just been out of work after a devastating miscarriage aside and bawls her out for something stupid?! A man who should not even be supervising other people! I was completely trapped in this job. I applied for every job in the County that came open and no one would even interview me. I had 8 months to go before I could retire. I prayed every morning before I went into work. I was on medication for anxiety, which would make me very sleepy. I would have to use my 15 minute breaks to take a NoDoz and rest until it kicked in. One day as I was sitting at my desk doing just this, I could hear another jackass supervisor outside my door making all of these ridiculous loud noises. I just ignored him. Later, I was called into my supervisor's office and accused of sleeping on the job (I wasn't)! The last straw happened during my last week of work. I had forgotten to roll a date stamp forward and stamped an inmate's letter with the wrong date. The inmate complained and I was suspended from work for one day without pay. That Friday I packed a trash bag with my things, left a note in an envelope on my desk along with my keys, walked out that door, and never looked back! Unfortunately, the damage had already been done. I have severe memory problems and I cannot learn things quickly like I could before this happened to me. I am still on medication for depression, anxiety, and insomnia. I have no energy and no motivation to do anything. These people completely destroyed my life! I started using social media to tell my story. Unbelievably, the Sheriff printed off everything I posted, called my husband at his workplace, and complained to him about what I was saying! My husband simply said, "Well, if you had done your job and stopped the bullying, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now." The Sheriff just slammed the phone down. No one ever deserves to go through the hell I went through at their workplace. We need laws against bullying in every state and every country.
14meowss I feel your pain and am sorry u had to go through this hell! Maybe u could write a book on workplace bullying. I have experienced this crap in every workplace and I just can't keep running from place to place and I know I am a sweet, professional person. I am quiet and I pick up on bad vibes and I avoid office gossips- which pisses people off and makes them target me even more. I can't be fake and pretend I like people who have proven themselves to be mean-spirited! May I ask what kind of work ur doing now? I honestly wish I could work on my own. I pray every day for guidance. People in the workplace are not going to change and they will always find someone to target, therefore, those who are routinely targeted must come together in a forum or something and gather ideas and get support on how to get our own careers. I would love to do stenography from home, but it takes 3-4 yrs to learn! Ugh!
I retired from the hell hole I was bullied at in 2009. In 2015 I finally got a dream job at a local church. It was perfect! Unfortunately, after 8 months, this woman who was a member there became the head of the Staff Committee. She had a beef with my husband so she went to the rest of the committee members and had me fired. I have not been able to find anything else (I am over 50). I, too, am a quiet, shy person, which bullies tend to target. They almost bullied me to death. I honestly would love to write a book about my experience but I think I am just too messed up to do it. I checked into having someone write it for me. Couldn't afford it! I got the book about workplace bullying by Gary Namie and it was like I was reading my own nightmare! I highlighted so much stuff that was happening to me in that book that I finally stopped because EVERYTHING in the book was happening to me! The Sheriff that was in charge there had this reputation of being so wonderful. When I went to him, even he turned against me and bullied me to an extent. When I posted on social media about my experience (after I retired), he got really pissed off and called my husband (they were friends). My husband put him in his place and he got mad at him too and they are no longer friends.
14meowss I have been severely bullied like you have and at the last place it was just horrible, I felt like I was living a nightmare. I hope you feel better and that you get your courage and self esteem back because that is what I am trying to do right now and it is very difficult, I question myself all the time and will even begin to think I screwed something up when I didn't.
To make my story even worse, I got a part-time job in 2015 as a church secretary. I LOVED the job and I was just getting myself put back together when along came a church member who had a long history of family disputes with my husband. I had been working there 5 months when she gained the power to fire me. She began to set me up the very same month that she got her position in which she could fire me. By January, 2016, I was GONE! She just walked in my office one day, locked the door, and told me I was terminated. Pack my stuff and leave all my work notes with her. I was completely destroyed and devastated because I never saw it coming until after it happened and I started remembering things. I recently wrote her and told her that I knew the truth about why she fired me and that she ruined my life. I hope she feels bad now. Some Christian woman! That was the best job o have ever had and she just took it!
i'm so sorry that happened to you.
the world has gone nuts. strength of character to deal with this as it's everywhere now. positivity is power. there is no safe work place.
I agree . There is nowhere to hide from bullies . They could unexpectedly turn up anywhere or anytime . I'm always puzzled as to what motivates bullies to bully others .
bullies were bullied. One shapes the other.
@@easytoslip that does not excuse their behavior babe
@@easytoslip Lots of people get bullied and they don't become bullies. That's nonsense!
I feel the same way about my current job. I would get none stop bullying for my weight, my voice, my height and my performances at work. It's getting to the point where I want to quit when one of my "so-called boss" referenced me to the Dog "Bryan" from Family Guy and wanted to "PUT ME DOWN"and told me right in my face that they are preparing me for the REAL WORLD . What a sick world we living in
I feel so alone right now
CocoaCarryOn007 OMG, that’s terrible! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I know you posted this comment months ago, so I hope things are better for you now.
They want you to get another job, but cannot Fire ypu...because you are good on the job. They just want you to go...
O h m y G o d, this is very similar to what I am experiencing. They will think up fictional literary characters or fictional movie characters, any character that helps them to present the victim in the most unflattering and untrue ways.
The witches that do that to me also reference their insanity to the Real World.
And they are highly obsessed with their own shortcomings, will project them, will not admit to who they really are and will plain fight until the death, lying, twisting around with projections as if they are obsessed.
Thank you Sherry for sharing your experience; it resonates with soooo many people. Something needs to be done about workplace bullying it is unacceptable and so unnecessary. We all have to make a living, and no one should feel fear when going to work.
This is true, there should be court cases filed when you have solid proofs with newspaper headlines about such things. This will create fear in these assholes holes.
Omg! This lady said everything I was feeling and going through. When I started researching what I was going through and how to deal with it I am a little relieved I am not alone. I wish I would have done my research earlier but at the same time she said it was 20 years of bully mine was about 2 years. I can't believe how much the bullying started changing me. Thank you for the advice.
I was bullied after getting my first job after graduating when the economy crashed in 2008. It started at work then after work with my friends. I went from a happy nice girl to sad depressed and angry for years, trying hard to not have a victim stance but it was the most painful experience I've ever experience, even sort of leaving my chosen career path and leading to underahieveing issues. Moral of the story, don't bully - just don't, think twice. I'm way better now but still just don't bully, bite your tongue if you don't have anything nice or respectful to say.
I sound like a pity party! Now I know how important being assertive is, however I was 22 yrs old, I didn't know what assertive really was. Workplace kind of silences you, since you don't want to lose your job, it's more complex (esp in this global economy) than just being assertive or not.. I think it just comes down to that bullying is wrong - and don't do it and if you do (in a not thinking it through circumstance) than apologise! Bc that definitely helps everyone.
Bullying in the workplace should be stop. Thank you for the inspiring talk.
in homes too. Got bullied by mom, dad, older brother
This is what the world is like, I hate this world
The only thing necessary for evil to be victorious is for good men to do nothing .
Absolutely.
I was a victim of workplace bullying. I have been in vocational rehab ever since I graduated from college because my Autism impacts my ability to understand social cues. After years of false starts and interviews that went nowhere I managed to get a part time job at an after school daycare program. Things started out fine until they changed which school I was working at. I was working alone with a supervisor who was very strict and picky about how people should do things, and would lash out at me when I didn't do things right despite the fact that she never informed me how she wanted me to do things. Some of her demands didn't even make sense really, but I was willing to respect them and try to do things her way. The breaking point was when she gathered all the kids and went on a rant about Autism and completely misinformed the kids on what it was. I had never told her I was Autistic, so I have no idea where this came up. The way she presented my disability made it seem like people like me are some sort of alien life form. I knew the kids would take what she said as a sign that they can bully and ostracize kids that exhibit the symptoms. The line that broke me was when she was talking about people that work with Autistic kids and said, "I feel sorry for them." After that day I resigned on the spot. I remember the first thing I did after resigning. I listened to Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill," which was one of my favorite songs. Ever since then, I cry every time I listen to it.
Normaschthewanderer I'm sorry you experienced this. Don't give up and realize not everyone is like this or thinks like this. A line I like: the art of appreciation is exposure....your boss had little exposure to people different from her. Be thankful you are not like this because you can better understand others and have an impact.
That's deep. Wish You All the best bro/sis.
it was a man who bullied her, not a woman -_-
I'm one too. Virtual hugs, if that's okay. Love Peter. That whole era of music speaks to me. It's kind of autistic.
Normaschthewanderer that’s so sad. I know someone online who is going through the same stuff and she is fighting it. I’m sorry you had to deal with such a hurtful person
I was pinned to a wall with a car by a bully co-worker. Stunned, I immediately began taking pictures of the situation and reported to management. Even though he was just pulled into the office for throwing food into my helmet the day prior, management/corporate claimed it was "accidental". I have had panic attacks and insomnia for over a month. My whole life has turned upside down.
If you can get out, do it! It's not worth it. If not record everything!
Michael Evans I pray you hired an attorney.
Michael Evans why did he do that
on my job the 2 haters they dont say or do anything to me it is just a vibe that i feel from them that they did not like me, i just feel the vibes. n the vibes r not good.
Vibes are everything, imho: That's your instinct and intuition "talking" to you...Always trust it...
Foxiee Dee yes vibes are usually right
if i ever get a company funded,im going to have a business where im going to work with each and everybody. nobody will be bullied at all.
Needs more likes.
Coming back to this video a year later after the worst bullying experience I've had at work. Now I have a new job and am still being bullied but much stronger. I made a promise to myself I wouldn't quit or go down without a fight. I'm much more confident and believe in my abilities. Wish me luck. Great story and speech!
Good luck! I hope you find your strength.
Be defiant, not defeated!
They follow you around. It is a huge misnomer to think you will escape by going to a different job. They will move mountains to find out where you work next. You have to live your life and realize that you have to take care of yourself, and that includes making a living.
Yup! Sometimes it is a losing battle at work, but thankfully i have a great manager now that will step up and help resolve the issues. My last job ,there was no support with the bullying at work. I dealt with ridicule, but i said nothing. I seen others who tried to get support just to see them get fired or suffer the backlash from it or even make the bullying worse. Of course that made you feel more alone when the management didn't have your back. Now at my new workplace they do not tolerate bullying at all. Plus management at my new job gets involved immediately and nips it in the bud. Love my new workplace!❤❤❤
i myself have dealt with this shit for years. got to where i didnt want to leave my home and developed high anxiety social etc .
They’re solution was to transfer me out as if I was the problem.. They never seem to address the bully’s behavior.. so what now.. bully is allowed to do it to someone else!!
That happens too often
so true...it's a slow death.
I am getting bullied at work by my male boss and i want to leave soon but i need the money its so stressful and upsetting
Laura Tardis How are you doing now.
How you doing now?
Hope everything is alright for you
I feel you idk the first step yet BUT I pray God will lead me.
Me too I work and stay in Dubai, am basically coming from Africa n came to Dubai for work but they is unfair treatment of African at work though we are very smart some times it really breaks me down n feel like I want to go home but the need for money keeps me moving
I'm dealing with bullying at work, I can't get into it, but I'm taking my box cutter and keeping it close before I close up tonight. She has made it so I'm scared for my own life.
Yeah . Bullying can make you feel that way sometimes . There are other ways out of the situation besides a unhealthy violent confrontation and possible loss of a job .
In 2017 I almost lost all of my vision. After 2 surgeries I was having to read with magnifying glass. So I had a lot of bullying from a coworker. I would walk into a room and she'd say oh hey blind bat just follow my voice. She would say other things just to get people to lol. Until one day I looked at her and said, "You know I'm ok with you bullying me, because that just means you aren't bullying someone whose worse off than me". Like your own child who has the same eye issue". I went on to tell her I believe she only bullies me so attention is dericted away from her weight. After that she didn't bully me again. I moved states almost right after and I get a fb message from her saying she was coming to NOLA for vacation and asked if she could say at my house. I didnt reply
I’m going through this now. It’s like junior high all over again. I need this job. Despite the bullying I try to focus on the clients. Helping them helps me feel I have accomplished something positive in their lives. Despite that...I don’t know how much more I can take... Hence the research.
Thank you for sharing..I was also bullied @work place. My manager did not do anything when I reported the person bullying me.
Roven Clark your manager wasn’t the top of the group hierarchy. In this scenario the manager is trying his best to avoid being a target too, and will in fact be likely to ‘manage you’ to appease the individual/s at the top of the group structure.
I quit my job this past Saturday, after my boss yelled at me. He's done this from time to time over the past year. I work so hard to get to where I'm at, and now I'm probably going to lose everything. I will not be disrespected and treated like that any longer. I'll do whatever I have to do to make it. I will get through this ...
Yes you will! Better to struggle to find other work and be broke awhile then to stay and have your spirit broken.
You will!!!
Wait what job was it that you do
Thank you. I truly appreciate anyone who stands up for any sort of bullying. I've encountered way too many cowards/asskissers who are afraid to confront workplace/school environment politics. There would be helluva less unemployment if workplaces had less politics and power struggles.
Workplace bullying happens everywhere. Unfortunately, the bullies themselves at times don't even realize what they are doing is classifies as 'bullying'. They act like a bunch of madmen who did what they did for the sake of live and breathe. Identify who are the bullies and keep a distance and at the same time, keep a log of all the things they did.
And they get supported by an HR department who wants to protect the company. If it's not "protected," it's not bullying in their eyes. You have the problem
This was sexual harassment. And you don't let them run you off the job, that's what they WANT. Yes, people (co-workers) are COWARDS. It can be right in front of them and they will deny it. It's strange. Wonder if there were some bullies in the audience shivering.
they lie just to lie. accuse you of all sorts of things trying to get you to go off. pile a load of work on you and cut others slack.
Exactly
Inspirational stuff. Gotta admire willing to stand up to it. Unfortunately in many cases systems tend to protect those doing the bullying rather than their victims.
I am so sorry about what you went through. I am sadly in the same "survivor's club" as you, but thankfully I am recovering. I am now starting my own practice as a life coach.
Coach Emily The Triumphant I'm so sorry. I'm a recent survivor. I'm struggling to move on and the anxiety is crippling.
@@Misunao23 hugs. I'm currently undergoing the same thing. It's demoralising and degrading, but let's do our best to put up a fight. We will conquer this together
How a boss can employ people like that? I mean what values they have? That's crucial, unless the boss is the bully as well.
My big sister was bullied throughout senior school. She is 52 now and still doesn’t speak of school or have any social media as she doesn’t want to be connected to anyone from that period of her life. She is forever damaged. If anyone around me is being bullied I am there supporting and standing with them.
I was bullied by my DON (director of nursing), and I put up with it for months. One morning in the nursing break room, I asked him about my schedule change that was supposed to have taken place for the beginning of of the month, he responded with, "Lisa, do you know what rice paper is?" I responded back with, "Yes? So??" His answer was, "You are walking on it!" The other nurses heard that and their jaws dropped to the floor. That was just one of many things he did to try to get me to quit. I finally went way over his head to the nursing administration of the facility and to my surprise, he was fired the next day. Don't suffer in silence. Go all the way up to the top if you have to, and tell them everything!
Yes because often a person thinks they are alone and don't know the history. I bet he was fired so fast because there had been past complaints but they needed one more to be able to fire him (so they could show a history of problem behaviour if he tried to sue for wrongful dismissal). Glad he was canned, good for you.
This lady has integrity, which her bully boss obviously lacked (and likely still lacks today). "Those who dare to stand up and speak up" are the ones who get targeted; it's as simple as that. For those of you who lack critical thinking skills (see some comments further below), the targets - the ones who are brave enough to take a stand in terms of doing the right thing - are not the "soft-petals": It is the malleable "kiss-up / kick-down" bullies and bystanders who are too cowardly to take a stand, and do the right thing...
Thank you for this video. We must be strong. Exercise works and learning how to fight when you are being bullied. Thanks for standing up Sherry!
Ditto . Thanks for helping others deal with Big Brother wannabes .
Blessings for this woman and all who have or are experiencing bullying.
I would leave asap----no matter what! Not healthy to stay in that environment---At worst, you will become them.
I was bullied at my last full time job. I am now disabled. I got disability for fibromyalgia, but I also have mental disabilities due to how I was treated at that job.
I take some comfort in knowing that after I was let go, my department pretty much disappeared.
I hung on for a very long time, because I knew I would get a severance package. I did, and I used some of the time after that job to heal. I also celebrated my freedom!
What really? What job at work did u do to end up this way
@@ninjapirate123 My illness wasn't directly caused by my job. It's triggered by stress and trauma. That came from all areas of my life. The abuse at work was a contributing factor.
I was an administrative assistant.
@@itsjeninMass But do most administrative assistant works by themselves in an office most of the time unless another worker comes into your office and bullies you, so how can you be bullied a lot when you often work in offices. And how stressful is your job, like what causes the stress and trauma
@@ninjapirate123 I sat out in the open, which sucks all on its own, but I was also aimed and mistreated by my boss and coworkers, and it was relentless.
@@itsjeninMass Then does other workers also get mistreated by their boss and other people
Ultimately, at the root of workplace bullying is weak management. Once management is notified of the problem, the bullying should abate or go away. If it does not, you have a weak manager.
You are absolutely right. Management allows it, condones it, is often involved, and has the same low values, will then gang up on the employee that dares to complain.
I’m going through the same thing at my job. After I reported it everyone turned against me. They told everyone I was lying. They all are friends and they still have their jobs. They walk around making jokes and telling everyone at work I have a case out on them. It’s so stressful.
You have fairly accurately described my 21 years at a PD in California. I feel you.
I work for government work. Had been givin a large amount of work to get done in an impossible timeframe. Told my supervisor was not going to be able to finish. He said " its ok. Go ahead and do your best." Well i was right. And had gone around 20 minutes over allotted timeframe. 2 weeks later same supervisor took me in the office for an investigative interview. Now i have the same guy that i told i couldnt finish threatening me. Another day this supervisor and another were talking in morning , i went to bathroom and could here the next room over. That they were planning on getting rid of some people in the workforce. And they had mentioned my name. I was so nervous. I just so happened to go to the sheriff website on a whim and i just searched for names of the managers. A few people popped up on a history with felonies. The one who had given me extra work and then threatened me. He had a felony for grand theft auto. And it kind of put it into perspective who i was dealing with. I still do not tell anyone yet because i have small children and bills to pay. I just deal with the issues as they come. leadership can be twisted. Its hard to take an order by a criminal.
The day I was being bullied in a classroom full of kids by a teacher’s aide ( I was the teacher) and my $200,000 inheritance went into my bank account was the most liberating moment of my life. It gave me the guts to go to admin and say this stops or I’m gone. It stopped the next day!!
Any signs that things might go wrong on the job, even if it's bullying, bad performance, stress or any other issues, I think about looking for another job. I know that you have bills to pay or kids to feed, but don't torture yourself with a job, which is torturing you.
It really surprised me once I entered the work force to discover that adults really aren't all that different from children and teenagers. And the workplace is very much like a middle school or high school.
I have been bullied all of my childhood I felt alone and have low confidence in my self low self esteem but I am so thankful for all of the love and support I have now. I am bullied at work a lot I don't have any support from my family either so I am feeling really angry and depressed now
Can i ask what job at work do you do
I tried this strategy, but in the end the HR department at my company did not help me to alleviate the harassment and bullying I was feeling. Her hurtfulness targeted so many people around me, but all we could do was resign and find work elsewhere.
+Born Overheated Yes, the lesson I learned is that HR departments a just window dressing, and they will ALWAYS side with the company or organization you work for. You're just an employee, and should be thankful to have a job and if you're not you can easily be repleaced--that's their perspective.
Thanks for your comment, Susannah. In my experience, HR is not concerned with solving real problems. Rather, they are only concerned with quieting them and doing what they can to see them disappear. They are not there to help employees and solve problems, only to a ensure that the company is not held accountable.
If they never include you with lunch or events it's a sign for saying your boss doesn't like you very much and it's time to look for another job if you can't fit in with your collagues.
I applaud her for speaking up. I appreciate this. "I statements" do not work for all bullies. For those who enjoy the power of bullying, "I statements" are positive reinforcement and encourage bullies to continue the bullying.
Bullies forget that this isn't the only job that they will hold in their life. Lol. Karma will get them in next job.
Unfortunately mine wont they are all! 10 years or less from retirement so nothing matters but their pockets.
Never soon enough to keep them from doing a lot of damage!
Not Karma being the next life, Dharma This Life.
They deserve to be homeless
My bully has two jobs and the other one she’s a burger flipper and this one she’s a “supervisor”
Bullies/Predators prey on who they perceive the vulnerable.
And those they perceive as better than them. The light of the "better" person shines on their darkness and they don't like that.
I'm living in crisis accomadation and it's either there or the streets until my housing is ok. But I am being bullied and it hurts so much. Deep within your heart. I try to be a nice person but I have one bully who is Jelous of me. She has no reason to be. I raised the issue with concerns raised form but they don't listen. Thats why I'm watching these bullying vids , so I know I'm not alone and don't want to be a doormat
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with that when you are in a stressful situation already to begin with. You aren't alone, hang in there and I hope your life path changes for the better soon, love and support from Toronto, Canada
This is very motivating. I just got through Monday today. I have been called child big baby when my mental illnesses was aggravated. Right now I have in crisis over and over. I had hard time falling asleep what tomorrow brings. Fear, no allies, no response from HR for documentations what I asked for almost a month ago. No job descriptions, no essential tasks, no training record, I have been delegated my bosses most job essentials. I never chitchat at work. I am alone. I'd rather be alone. I become somebody else who is cheerful and smiley as much as possible. I don't have anybody that can support me. I can't lose job. It's not easy. Psychiatric and therapist bills and medications just make it through the week or even a day. I am not gonna quit until my employer let me go. Thank you for the speech. Someday I will be able to help people who suffer from harrassment and bullying at work place. I was abused long time as a child. And yes I hear her criticism in my head all the time. But I will live.
What really? What job at work did u do to end up this way.
Sounds like those coworkers just didn't want a female in their work place.
Lydia Jane Their masculinity was challenged and it made them uncomfortable. Too bad. Women can work whatever job they want. They don't have to bend over backward for men who have poor self esteem created by society.
Reasoning with a bully or saying how it affects you wouldn’t work with the work place bullies I have encountered over the years. The best thing is to ignore them. Only speak on a need to basis and just be difficult with them and continue to be nice to your nice colleagues. They would take it as a sign of triumph as they feel you deserve it. They will always have an excuse for it so stop being nice and reasonable. And keep away from them as much as possible. Become a wall so they go somewhere else.
Kat London well said. Good advise.
Keeping away from them as much as possible is sometimes easier said than done . Especially if the bullies have made you their target .
One of the deadly bullies that stalks me calls it Eye for an Eye, I have never done anything to that person. I read a long time ago that is what stalking gangs do, they make up horrible stuff about the victim, this makes it easier for more and more people to hate and attack the victim, based on those stories.
Thankyou for being a very sane, logical, and rational voice about workplace mobbing/harassment.
You were brilliant! All the efforts paid. Good to see. And thanks for wanting to help others.
I wake up each morning and meditate to become more positive..I believe this makes the bullies hate me more as I appear happy..I won't stop though
What really? What job at work did u do to end up this way
Remember: Only when someone thinks that you are above them, do they feel the need to pull you down. You do not have to emotionally participate in this powerplay.
Strong words right here. Thank you for sharing. I was bullied at work a few years ago, and it still bothers me a bit, but your words make me feel better. Bullies are extremely bitter people.
@@edwardc6288 I don't know I'm 19 new to the job and i got job bullies in like the first few days any tips?
@@noim7785 What really? What job at work did u do to end up this way
@@noim7785 And is the bullies in university or at work
@@ninjapirate123 I work in a warehouse and there just at work. Some of them quitted already but there new people now.
My direct report at a bank I worked at lead by fear and bullying. I endured bullying for too long also and I relate to your story. It’s horrific, isolating and misery. Thank you for sharing. You’re very strong. I want to think I am also. I finally got out of that workplace and it saved my life. I’m so happy now and life on the other side is beautiful and fulfilling. Don’t ever put up with a bully. You deserve so much more.
Such a powerful speech. Sad and beautiful :)
She won her battle for positive self worth , though .
I currently work at my dad´s business and it has been the worst experience ever. I started with a lot of motivation and ideas but people didn´t like me because they felt I was in a privileged position when they didn´t even know that my dad and I just started knowing each other again after years of being apart. I am never invited to birthday celebrations in the office and I don´t even have friends to have lunch with. I am at the point in which I really want to leave but I need the money and that makes me stay. It gets really hard to work at a place that you hate and where you feel so isolated and like nothing you do is fine. I really hope one day a better opportunity can come. If you are reading this and you bully someone at work, I really hope you get to heal your wounds, because your actions might be hurting inocent and good people.
That was brilliant, great speech. It just helps sometimes to know you're not alone and to empower yourself.
I had a boss that had such an anger problem that he threatened me constantly because I would call into work because of my endometriosis. He would have outbursts at everyone, though, not just me. He eventually verbally threatened me with bringing a gun into work and using it, which he denied. I reported him. He had one week of suspension. To say I felt unsafe is a large understatement. I was removed from our department for a small time frame. When I tried to go back the anxiety knocked me completely off kilter. That was a career job. I could not go back. My husband left me. It was almost impossible for me to recover from it. During mediation, when asked why he did it, he said I was such a good worker that when I called in, his entire week would be ruined. Imagine. The coordinator told me, "if it's any consolation, we had to hire two people to replace you." Not much of a consolation, however, I was glad she said it. Good news is that after 12 years of much work I've found my way back to where I want my life to be. I am now a life skills worker. Ha, i certainly know how to help people and am happy to give back. If you're suffering don"t give up. Reach out and ask for help. Find those people because we are out there and you have a right to be treated with respect and dignity.
Great job! You hit on some really relevant points. It's important to become empowered. The toolbox is a good idea.
When a bully boss is watching this I dont know if they understand what they do is wrong?
They will think about it in plain terms as its delivered in the video without awareness of their own actions at work
Nope they'll think it's funny
I just have learned to give it back, sometimes it works sometimes not, but now I ignore it
I'm sorry this happened. We are behind you and God bless you. Thank you for making this!
We have to face the fact that the workplace is war and the only way to get respect is power. Prepare and learn how to conduct warfare and how power is accumulated.
Sure, respect is power. However, the company relies on employees to produce work.
If employees are genuinely happy = incredible success for company.
If employees are miserable = high turnover rate, increased cost to training new people, and eventually the company will fall to its demise.
What a great way to disprove the statement: an insult, a put down, and a broad statement with no support.
True statement. Unless you are a supervisor everyone is a target unless you know how to fight back.
Karma is a boomerang!
Samantha Derrick exactly!
My brother’s suicide in a dry horrible way has been less horrible than coworker bullying and manager collusion in the “Caring- Health- Social Professional Environment”
I was thinking how we are in this life to learn. Often the lessons for growth are very hard and they can come from many places the body, the world , other humans. But when you "get" it, whatever it was, you emerge a much deeper person with more love for yourself and for others. I have met some "seasoned" people and what a gift of wisdom they have to offer others because of their trials.