I'm working on getting there, especially the procrastination and concentration issues. I would be so much better off in life if I could conquer those 2 things. I have the drive but then my mind just can't focus and then I procrastinate.
I finally admitted myself into a psych ward after attempting to take my life, because I did not feel worthy as a human being, not knowing I was surrounded by evil. And not understanding I had complex trauma. Biggest save in the world, now I know. Now the true healing begins. Prayers for all who’ve been through hell and back. So proud of you for keeping it pushing no matter what. You’re a blessing and light in what feels like, a darkness you don’t understand unless you’ve lived to tell your story. 💝🙏
I’m glad you didn’t end your life. God has you here for a reason and a purpose that is bigger than yourself. I promise he loves you and I promise you are worthy. Keep seeking to get to know God. Read the Bible. Talk to Jesus. He is my healer and my savior. He saved me from darkness , depression and bondage. I am now free because of his love ❤ Jesus is the way, the truth, and the LIFE ❤ God bless you sister
@@KamDashcamthat isn't what that means it means look at me look how Holy i am I'm praying everyone look. God isn't mad when we share out stories with others and give them hope
Ive been like that , still am, get scared when someone walks in room., or noises. Want to start my hobbies but get distracted easily , end up not doing them
It is. I chuckled TBH when watching because "so relatable" but also felt sympathy watching and recognizing how much it can be. 😢 Reminder to have kindness with ourselves too...going through this. Just like we might for others! To think we can be so much more gentle and understanding with strangers than ourselves.
Yes! This used to be me. Man, I have so much compassion for that me now, even though there was no one harder on me then, than myself. If this is you, you need to find a safe space. You need to do the very difficult work of learning how to put yourself first by learning boundaries, this often looks like separating yourself from negative people/voices in your life. If scrolling social media triggers you, cut it out of your life. Do an inventory of feeling through your triggers to get to the roots of fear that are causing them. And stop overloading yourself with more to do. You need REST and SAFETY. You need more space to breathe and move slowly in your life to cultivate healing that stays. It is so, so, so important. I tried to end my life in March of 2019, and I swear the Lord stilled my hand and in that moment, I was so angry about it. I wanted an end to the constant torture within myself and the first lesson He taught me was I do not owe anything to anyone. My existence is not made valuable by what I can or cannot do. I am worthy of rest, I am worthy of life, I am worthy of being enough even as an imperfect human. Healing from there was slow, steady, and painful at times, but I kept my eyes on the light, on who I AM and NOT who this broken world and my broken mind lied me into being for far too long. And I am so proud of myself now, I am SO thankful to my God and Savior now. I am not the same woman and what I never thought was possible before is now my daily walk in peace and purpose 🥰❤️
Building my faith ,prayers , meditation , spiritual awakening Is Tremendously helping me with life , with my trauma , helping me to build my elder children as they went threw trauma too , We have succeded With Love, Light , Wisdom in our Lives Thankyou Amen 🙏♥️🌈☀️📚🌍
This is why it’s so easy to mis-diagnose CPTSD as ADHD and vice versa. Almost every symptom you listed is also a classical symptom in ADHD. It’s why a detailed and thorough history taking with new patients is so important.
I agree sometimes I wonder if my daughter who has recently been diagnosed with ADHD has complex PTSD instead has she has had some traumatic experience since high-school
@@audreydoyle5268that’s just not true adhd is a developmental disorder and can be a comorbidity with CPTSD it’s not infantile cptsd stop spreading misinformation and maybe read the latest dsm-5 revised text and speak to an adhd specialist if you have questions.
I startle very easily and i hate when people find it funny, then do it on purpose. It's a remnant of trauma that I can't get rid of and people just think it's good for a laugh.
Try not to take them trying to scare you on purpose too seriously. My boss's son was deathly afraid of spiders & If he ever saw one he'd shriek with the tone of a boiling tea kettle & start wailing like Nancy Kerrigan. I don't consider myself a bad person & I have good intentions for him , but from then on we would purposely leave rubber spiders around to get a startle response from him. I don't know why I did that.
@nervesdarocha Oh my gosh!! To me it’s so cruel of them to laugh. Whenever it happened, it actually tired me out. Doesn’t feel good at all. What’s been 100% helpful is working remote and STRONG boundaries. It takes me a little longer to recharge so alone time isn’t necessarily a problem for me. Outdoor time a great as well. God will get us through it all. God Bless you ❤
My neighbour & son knocked on my window when I was sat relaxing at home. It startled me. I then frowned and said "It's not funny to make someone jump. I startle due to my childhood trauma" and they both apologised and I chatted to her a lot more. Being honest and owning it in a vulnerable way may help. If it does not then going to HR and reporting the abuse, telling them that it is not appropriate to do this and you will not spend time in their company if they are not safe or using boundaries to not be around them are steps to take. People generally empathise when you take them to one side and explain it.
They are ignorant and not worth your time. They do not have the privilege of knowing your business. Walk away. I live alone and the peace of my home is wonderful. Only a few friends can come in.
😳😔 You just described me. 🤔 I had not realized or known that these behaviors were trauma responses. With My Deepest Gratitude! ! !❤⚜️❤ Blessed Be! ! !❤🙏❤
Sending lots of love to everyone who is experiencing this in their lives. You’re stronger than you know and you’re on a path of healing now. Things will get better 💙
I used to get yelled at for fidgeting so I started clinching my butt at a young age. I’ve got a butt that Kim K would be jealous of. It’s the only good thing to come out of my trauma! 😂
I get so embarrassed when I do these often times when my husband asks what's wrong, I'll lie and say I accidentally bit my tongue or stubbed my toe to brush it off. He probably knows I'm lying because he gives me a big ol hug anyway, tells me I didnt do anything wrong and that I'm safe. I'm so grateful for him.
Sever childhood trauma, at 60+ I still startle when grandchildren walk into a room I’m in. PTSD and generalized anxiety. Tears when I saw this short 🤦🏽♀️
I have complex PTSD too. I’m in my 60s and have generalized anxiety disorder, too. I’ve experienced flashbacks and SI. I’m here to tell you that I’m healing because I’ve found a therapist who has done EMDR and trauma focused therapy with me. Stay hopeful my friend. Healing is still possible.
Trauma effects all ages. I went to a program where intense group therapy took place every day. The oldest person there was a women in her 80’s. She was finally getting help for the first time in her life. But much like the older generations she felt guilty bringing up her past to her husband because she didn’t want to be a burden. As she put it, she was someone who preferred to care for others. And since she cared for her husband physically when he needed it, when helped her realize that it was his turn to take care of her as well. Not sure how things turned out in the end because after two months insurance wouldn’t pay for it since I was showing progress. I hope that she is doing well though
Big hugs to you, as someone who knows this pain all too well. May Jesus continue to lift our load and be our peace that passes all understanding. Bless you! ❤️
Having CPTSD and ADHD is wild cause some of the symptoms are similar so for a long time I had no idea what was wrong. Therapy has helped me tremendously!
And there’s so much more to CPTSD. The anxiety, the OCD, the shame , the body pain from being triggered. I’m on my second year of healing, but it’s so hard. No one gets how torturous it is. Wishing everyone peace and love.❤
I totally get it, it's very hard living with Complex PTSD, I can't go where there are large crowds, will get an anxiety attack and can't leave fast enough, on top of being a single mom, everyday slowly gets better
@@loveinstars I have been doing trauma work 2x a week for two years now. My ruminating and fear is OCD. They all tie in together -not saying everyone who has CPTSD has OCD -it’s just one of my symptoms. have a nice week.🙂
My therapist said I have complex ptsd, I rock myself to sleep every night. And staring at the shit I have to do instead of doing them drives me insane. I feel like I’m fighting my own body to get it to do something. Never really think about how much these small things bother me until it’s pointed out by videos like this.
One of my sons has done this since he was a baby.... And couldnt and still dont know why. Hes not autistic. But possibly ptsd.... Hang in there you are so much stronger amd resiliant than you feel at times. Ypu got this. We all do.... Keep going it eill be worth it in the end... Xx
When I was a child my older sister rocked herself to sleep sideways back and forth. She had been sexually assaulted by a male babysitter. Tied to the bed posts. My parents didn't believe her, so it continued. There were more signs of it too graphic to share here. Heartbreaking. I don't know if I was born yet as I'm 6 years younger, but my memories of her rocking are from 5 years old & up. I asked her if I was born yet and in the room, but she said no. I don't know. From this she became a bully and mistreated me until I was 16. I've often wondered if that rocking had an affect on me. I have my own trauma issues from childhood and in them right now at 74. Hoping and preparing my escape. I don't rock but rub my skin until I accidentally make an open wound. Startled easily & many more symptoms. When I was 17, I babysat a foster child who rocked on he's knees frontwards and backwards. I knew something wasn't right, but had no idea what this child may have gone through. I've had lots of counseling but my sister never has and now I've had to go no contact with her as she's a mean, bullying alcoholic, but only treats me this way. Thanks for allowing me a place to share something I've never have shared with any one before. God bless you all.
Ahhh, when I came to this short, I did not expect for most to be so relateable 😭 And do not even get me started with the startled easily one, that one is just, ahh, INSANELY accurate!!!!
Your video is spot on. I’ve lived with PTSD for over 40 years. I have family that have told me to “get over it”. There was no “it” but rather many times ex-boyfriend put a gun to my head, stalked me, always catching me off guard (i was 14 the first time and at high school). The courts did nothing…thank God I lived….so many do not. Thank you for your video and raising awareness. The book the Body Keeps the Score was insightful, too. Thank you!!
Yes they just don’t get it do they. Dispassionate or may be a critical or judge mental spirit. Keep praying for them watch what happens. In Jesus name.
Great video! I would also add constant soreness from muscle tension, headaches and migraine, dizziness, the urge to withdraw and isolate, excessive uncomfortable crying, vomiting, itching or skin problems, extreme fatigue, bowel and bladder issues, paranoid hallucinations, and nightmares/sleepwalking/insomnia.
I’ve lived 32 years of life not knowing about cptsd. This channel helped me open my eyes. I’m 6 months into EMDR therapy and feel optimistic for the first time in my life. The barriers to recovery are so hard currently. I hope for a future where we can all have the space to grow and flourish.
I was not aware these were C-PTSD symptoms. I've always thought about getting help or talking to someone about it, but always felt I missed the mark so I never tried. This video definitely changed my mind. I think I need to reach out for help with this. Thank you for sharing 🙏
@@carmenl163Exactly this. Our brains know it's fine, and that we are just trying to not die, but society makes us think it's our fault for not being "normal". It sucks, and society needs to do better
The Body Keeps Score is an excellent book! Helps understand what’s behind the manifestations of reactions to trauma, remembered or blocked. Highly recommend it!
@@salsadip7453it was a hard, triggering read for me. I started it once on audible then had to stop. I didn’t even realize why but it was just too many triggers. Then my husband died suddenly (were 40 so I wasn’t quite expecting it at our age) and my therapist and trauma therapist both recommended it so I picked it back up. It was very painful at times and I had to go slowly but it was helpful. Very good book. May be time to read it again.
@@salsadip7453 It can be a difficult book to read as it talks about individuals who have experienced great trauma and is pretty descriptive. But overall it is a very insightful book. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. No one should go through any form of harassment, whatever and wherever it might take place. I hope this book will provide you with some comfort.
I'm currently reading it, other than the insight, does it also provide some useful advice on how to help oneself? It would motivate me to read it faster lol😊
THANK YOU - I think the easily startled is the one for me. But just THANK YOU Most people just meet and say hello, they ask how each other is doing. They never know each other, or care to. Sometimes people can SEE others and understand what they experience. You see people, and this has great relief for the ones being seen!
Routine. Therapy. Encouragement and commitment. That is what it took for me to overcome these issues. Of course, there are other things. But routine is what saves me more than anything. These things used to control every aspect of my life. I have worked hard to change that. You can get better. You just gotta have faith in yourself and remember that you deserve everything you are sacrificing for. It will be worth it, in the end.
Thank you for sharing what works for you and many others. I was so depressed while also tortured with chronic anxiety , never knowing why. Truly I was isolating and afraid to go into the world and ask for the simplest thing. I started attended a twelve step group where I learned the source of my physical and emotional pains. I learned not to be afraid and found the vocabulary and patterns taught by my "sick" family. Having the opportunity to hear others describe the exact behaviors I experienced , I felt validated and knew I was not the person my toxic, triangulating, narcissistic, emotionally unavailable, judgmental, mother and her toxic religiosity trained me to be. Being in a room where I felt 100% safe to be me, I could finally exhale and relax. I learned I could NOT learn when I didn't feel safe or loved. Bit by bit and with the help of others, I learned I had the choice to change. I made that choice . With the help of the 12 step materials, the other people in those groups and a loving sponsor, I learned how to change. I also had some help from EMDR and learning new language to replace what I had been taught . It is a day to day, sometimes minute by minute experience. I learned I could trust trustworthy people, and that " my higher power" who I call Jesus has and does love and protect me. Blessings and peace to all who have and continue to suffer. 💕🙏🙂 The lady creator of this channel is a blessing!
Wow this explains so much. Thank you. I was raised in a horrific environment and when you try to leave it behind it surfaces in other ways. Healing takes time but I found God gives us the time we need to be able to handle facing what we wanted to forget. My kids use to laugh at some of those behaviors I did while they grew up and so did I because I didn't know the full magnitude of what I was carrying inside. So glad to be on a healing journey in life. I'm so much better today. ❤
God doesn't give us the time to handle what we want to forget, He heals the pain and removes the inner scars and trauma. He restores our soul and gives us the peace that surpasses understanding ❤
@@GameChanger597for everyone is different and He works differently. For some it's straight away, for others it's a process. Sometimes this process can be sped up when we are completely open to it. But that's something between the person and the Lord.
I feel you. Same thing here. As you are growing up in a violent household, all you want to do is escape. It's too late by the time you are 17 or 18 and free to leave. The damage is done. You move from here to there in this world, looking sideways at those who are full of life and have happy families and carefree lives. It's hard to grasp the intricacies of the damage done to the mind.
You didn't know the full magnitude of what you were carrying inside. Perfect. Thankyou. I'm just beginning my journey of healing & I'm 71! I used to think that the humor helped but I think it just covers up a lot of pain
This has just made me cry uncontrollably. I didn't realise that this was a thing until watching this. I am 64 and have suffered with ALL these things all my love . I start every sentence with an apology which irritates everyone but I can't help it. I have been shouted at all my life for these things and I cannot take any more. Goodness knows how I managed o work and bring up healthy. well balanced children. I really don't know any more.
@@sbeaney9289 Thank you. What makes me happy though is that I haven't passed that on to my children and they acknowledge that, saying that I 'broke the wheel of abuse', xx
I have every single one of these symptoms. I look back and it stems from being bullied as a child at school & on the bus from 1st grade through 8th grade, 8 LONG & BRUTAL years at a snobby little private school. I'm 53 years old now and I still have these issues while on medication to ease my panic, sudden startling & anxiety attacks because of something that happened so long ago. People, PLEASE talk to your children about NOT bullying others, not participate or join in when some other kids have started it, even speak up for the one being bullied; it is so important to try to put an end to bullying. However, I know that is almost impossible because there are ALWAYS going to be a$$holes that think they are better than other people.
Our poor bodies go through so much. After watching all these videos it becomes so clear the moment we are brought into this world is where it all begins. We do the best we can in circumstances and our body is protecting us. I hope everyone is kinder to self as the years go by. In reality we are here for a short time. 🙏🏻
Yep. That was basically a snap shot of 40 years of my life. Last 10 years, much less of any of that, but it took work and daily tweaks. Being human is hard, but a better life is possible.
Yep, in mid 50’s and just now started to figure some stuff out, turns out its not normal to be startled just because someone in a calm home walks into the room
I have this weird a*s habit where i physically tremble whenever I'm slightly stressed, so I could be smiling at you and talking casually and confidently but those trembles appear and disappear as quickly, I personally try to supress it when I talk to ppl (with ppl in general) I'm not necessarily scared just stressed all the time, and it's a behavioural habit i intergrated too much to an extent it could happen automatically sometimes... Usually when I'm distracted from my thoughts and how am doin it doesn't happen at all, i just realized it's a bit of a problem when other ppl noticed it (even tho it happened only about twice..)
I've known for some time that I have complex PTSD. I've wondered forever why I procrastinate and struggle so much with completing tasks. I thought I was just LAZY, even though I work two jobs and don't procrastinate on completing THEIR tasks. THIS VIDEO connected the dots for me, and I'm bawling my eyes out because this is me! HOW DO I BREAK THROUGH THE FREEZE STATE AND STOP PROCRASTINATING?
Relatable, fun fact your words we're probably heard but never understood amongst folks like that. At times it's just hard luck and everything sucks. Just another cinderella story with different characters.. It's always complicated. Part of it will stay with you. Some days it'll be stormy, some just suffocating , the rest will take you on self sabotage or blame rage ride. It's Okay, It's alright. Hang in there little tiger You're an amazing survivor ! Keep going find what works for you Take a break Stay away from bad vibes You're a beautiful bud Get some fresh air, food and sunshine Dance sweat your heart out You're stronger than the storm, the lord is watching over you Affirm daily before sleeping after you're awake.. When your time comes You're ready to bloom 🌻 Sorry it's long 😅
If you can...when you can...leave. Get away from those people, even and especially if they are family. I did and, when I wasn't there to abuse anymore, they found a new scapegoat. New scapegoat reached out to me recently to tell me that now they understood that I wasn't making it up or exaggerating. It's nice to hear that one of them now understands I wasn't crazy, but I'm not going back to anyone who was ok with the abusive behaviors. I'm out! You Can go out and make your own "family" even if they aren't your blood. You can be happy.
This made me cry. I’m only 19 and experiencing all of this so intensely. Particularly since last summer, I can’t really see what caused it clearly. Although there was a lot of family stress in the past … the body keeps score
This is me to a T - I just thought I was an anxious person but I’ve come to realise through watching your videos that I have had a lot of trauma in my life which I haven’t dealt with. Thank you for your help 💖
The startling, the self-soothing ... This is my life right now. :( Living with trauma would be so much easier if people didn't bully you over your symptoms.
I'm sorry you're going through that and that anyone would think that it's okay to bully you because you're traumatized. That's sick behavior. You don't deserve that. I hope you find healing. Hugs.
@@rainbowconnected Thanks. It’s because people don’t understand trauma. Or life with any sort of disability or special need. People tend to fear what they don’t understand. You get used to microaggressions, to masking and pretending to be “normal” so you don’t have to feel shame for inconveniencing people. Or worse, lose your job or home. I’ve been thrown out by a landlord because of my mental health problems. He seemed to believe I was somehow dangerous or contagious and a threat to other residents. Social media has made it trendy to be mentally ill, but this has only made it harder for genuine sufferers to be taken seriously. Knowledge of how selfish & cruel human society really is only comes when you’ve fallen on hard times. People you thought were your friends will close their doors & hearts. I’ve experienced kindness, too, and that keeps me from becoming a complete misanthrope. But damn if it’s not hard to keep my chin up sometimes.
I understand. I startle, and when my dad sees me startle at him he gets passive aggressive about it. I also do the self soothing. I have a lot of those symptoms because I have adhd so I am not sure what is what but I am dealing and in therapy right now
This is me.. I don’t do the rocking/rubbing- but I discovered the way I sleep is self-soothing. I noticed my wrists were really sore all the time and eventually took notice that I sleep hugging myself, in a fetal position and my hands are bent downward.. it was over a year after I had wrist pain that I discovered sleeping like a “dinosaur” or “T-Rex” is a sleep position directly correlated with trauma. The body does truly keep score, as I had no idea this was why my wrists hurt(one in particular as I would put my body weight on that side).. Just thought I would share this incase anyone has the same issue and is struggling to solve by they’re having wrist problems that started after experiencing trauma.
I had most of these symptoms. And I was so tired of not going anywhere in my life, knowing I'm an intelligent person. It took me some years but I did all the changes by self educating and applying that knowledge in every day life. I feel I'm unbreakable now ❤❤❤ God bless you guys, all the sufferers, keep on fighting 🙏🏼 And remember, when you fall, you get up and make another step. When you fall again, you get up and try again. You always get up and try again, there's no other way.
@marib9721 I learned mostly from the internet, and talking online with people, hearing that there are a lot of people with the same problems, and listening to how they dealt with it. I started setting myself small, achievable goals, and learning small good habits. For example, one habit I learned was to make the bed once I got up in the morning. Sounds silly, right? But for me it was one of 5he first steps. Because now I do it without even thinking. Another example, I've learned to use calendar for my due dates, and appointments. I don't miss anything now. I watch the videos of the successful people, to learn how they live their lives that helps them being successful. It all took some time for me, but I'm so much better organized now, and my life improved so much. I keep working on myself, and I know I'm on the right path. I know I'm strong. Wishing you all the best ❤️
@@Barbara-hw3xzMaking the bed, small routines and keeping lists, notes and reminders for things to do helps me a lot as well. I didn't realise that startle reflex has to do with childhood trauma but it makes sense. I too have become very organised and less stressed out over the years. Meditation, introspection and mindfulness helped a lot.
Prayers and hugs for everyone. I grew up in trauma from abuse and neglect. Unfortunately, I married what my mom was. My body now does not want to relax. It stays in tense mode even if I consciously try to relax. The scary part is living with someone together ALONE! Don't allow your situation to get to where I am. You can't heal in the same environment you got sick in.❤🙏🤗
"The body keeps the score" is the title of an absolutely amazing book about PTSD that I wish each and every person would read. I learned so much and it helped me consolidate the knowledge I already had. All in a scientific rigorous way but without the typical strict attitude of Western medicine
damn if i have 4 out of 6 of these i should probably explore this more. i’m in therapy but not really the right kind. i did a very intense 2 year 3x a week program i graduated from in May, but since then i haven’t continued with adding anything further which was suggested. i do go 2x a month for 35 min to talk to somebody but it’s more of a checkup on my current medication and not really therapy even tho it’s called that. This really reminds me how much more work i have. i have major traumas i have not even brought up yet with anyone. But my procrastination and overwhelming amount of responsibilities make me not put my needs first as i should. i’m caregiver for my very elderly and very ill, needy, narcissistic and abusive mother. And i’m a single mom with 2 kids, one of which has some special needs. I also am sober after almost 30 years of addiction. so i have to always put my treatment requirements first to not ever go back to that. (4 yrs sober). so i genuinely love this channel, it’s my reminder to keep putting in the work on me. there’s so much more to accomplish.
😭 I have all of this and I hide it beautifully. I know theres nobody to comfort me, nobody to hug me. I put my headphones on and try to ground/center myself. I show no weakness around others because that will alert the wolves.
Bruh I’ve been trying to get my vagus nerve to chill out for like 5 years. Massages. Meditation. Yoga. Chamomile. I still find myself feeling this constant urge to just… run? Run away
Calming down is well and good but maybe you should actually take up running, too? The stress might still be trapped in your body and when you move in the way your body wants to move, it can be released. Look up somatic experiencing therapy
If your body wants to move, let it. As mentioned, that can help complete the the stress cycle that's trying to play out and let your body feel it's done something to get to safety. It's also worth considering that for some of us, trying to force ourselves to chill out can actually cause more stress. If someone grew up in a very unsafe environment, turning inwards and slowing down can feel dangerous, because it means we're less available to respond to potential threats. It doesn't matter if we're safe now, the brain can get pretty set in those patterns, even if they're maladaptive. I hope you find relief so that you are able to settle into your body in the present moment and feel safe there.
This is such a great video, so simple, so easy to relate to and clearly shows what distress language looks like. 🙌 Folks this is not "normal" behaviour. These are extreme states. Normal is harmony, Normal is peace, Normal is optimism, Normal is neutral. You are worthy of "normal" 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for posting this. For the longest time I took ADHD medication, which only made things worse. I'm trying to accept now that I am a naturally anxious person by no fault of my own, and am trying to just move forward one day at a time. We all have trauma and I wish we didn't, but at least we all have each other
I'm sorry you're surrounded by such unevolved people. Please know that there's nothing wrong with you feeling or reacting the way you do. I hope you heal from your traumas over time. Sending light and positivity! ✨🙏🏼
I am with you i have been like this since i was 16 it is an awful existence i dont know how i am still here Maybe we have something big to say to the collective, we are all sensitives, there is just something different with us I have no answers but i have give up trying to tell people they dont see it its not like having a broken leg God bless you all sensitives ❤
❤ That's me - at 60, with your site, therapy & all-around care, am learning!. Even as a Nurse, couldn't see it bc it was easy caring for others, never myself. Still happens, but it gets better. 🎉 Thank you.
Definitely how it is. After EMDR treatment, I’m much better, though still disassociate a lot . Can never really trust anyone either, don’t even care , prefer to never trust, too great a risk I feel it’s how I can protect myself.
Wow thank you soo much for your videos ! I had all of these my goodness! Grateful for my healing and feeling my feels as they surfaced, no more holding in, letting go ! And toxic people, get away from me ! I learned what was wrong with me !
I was just diagnosed with this two weeks ago and to see that I’m not alone. Makes me feel better. I’m sorry to everyone that have went through such horrendous trauma. That have made us this way, but we are fighters and trust me. I know I’m not the only one that fight to live every day, but we made it today and I hope the person reading knows that God loves them and we will make it again, and, again, and again, and again. We are special. We are unique we are beautiful. We are conquerors and we understand life from a very different perspective, which gives us the compassion and empathy that we have , I just Pray we find the right people. That will appreciate us and loves us just for who we are because we’re not bad people. We’re not horrible people we’re not overly emotional people. We are just trying to find our identity that was taken from us May God continue to bless us!
DAMN IT! Here I had thought I'd made it through a traumatic childhood like a champ. 20's act out, 30's figured it out,now 40's, and my issues were just waiting to pounce like a ticking time bomb 💣.
That surprise/shock at the beginning causes me actual physical pain that shoots through my entire body leaving feelings like an aftershock too & I’ve only got general anxiety disorder.
This made my chest feel tight. I have wondered about the long term effects of trauma from my past. I’m starting to understand how it is lingering in my body. Thank you for this.
I never heard of this complex trauma, but this short video pretty much describes what has been happening to me in recent months. I would say the past few years have been and continue to be traumatic. I subscribed and will be watching the videos. 😮
So, I have CPTSD. And one of the hobbies I’ve been picked since I was a kid is art. I’m an incredible artist. I originally tried drawing to teach myself how to do things I don’t feel like doing. Or to teach myself how to stop fidgeting. Or to help myself drown out things, and feel real. I’m nearing thirty now, and I love art. It’s become such a special to me.
Sounds like your strength & talent could be a great career you’d love, as an art therapist to help others as well. God’s light of love & blessings to you! 😊
Good Reel Been Coming Out Of Narc Abuse Even While Still In It For Two Years Now My Brain Really Has Healed Tho There Are Some Things That Can Trigger A Body Response Glad To Have Gone Thru It To Now Have The Healing It Ultimately Brought But It Was One Heck Of A Journey In Separation Now- he Is Sick- Cancer- Watching And Listening To Adonai For Now Shalom
So relatable. I thought I was just being lazy for the longest time and would drink coffee and FORCE myself to complete the tasks I procrastinated doing.
After therapy processing my childhood PTSD the only issues I still struggle with are the freeze state and startling easily. Luckily my husband is very loving and understanding and helps me work through my freezes by picking a starting point and tries his best to never scare me. Deep breaths everyone.
My husband does the same. I am so blessed with his compassion & kindness. I wish I could find a type of therapy that resolves/heals the awful intense "startle response."
I am 14 days sober today. I have CPTSD. The last 10 years have been so full of abuse that I can't believe I made it. I wanted to give up. Instead, I demanded proof of God's existence. He showed up and spoke. I could feel Him and hear him. People want my story to go away. Some dont believe me, or they blame me. I I haven't got any therapy yet. I have a hard time trusting people now. Im moving slowly towards rebuilding my life and getting help. Thank you for your channel. We are fragile beings who can only take so much. People are not robots.
After doing tons of EMDR, mindfulness, and DBT skills practice, I am so grateful to say I've made my way past most of the struggling. ❤️ Shout-out to anyone who is still struggling. You can do this, I promise. 😊❤
I have Complex PTSD and this is a good representation of what it looks and feel like. And not only do I startle easily, but when I get startled, I then get angry and can flip out and snap at someone I love. Which then it makes me feel like a POS afterwards because I've verbally accosted them. Though thankfully, in recnt times I've gotten less and less startled. I still do from time to time but the frequency has diminished significantly. To anyone who has this trauma, know that it does get better with time. Especially with trauma informed therapy, learning good coping mechanisms, and somatic therapy too. Where I was years ago to where I am now is a big difference.
Exactly. For me if I am startled badly, I will shake etc just like a milder panic attack. I am improving on shaking it off, deep breathing and to stop freezing, I set lil goals for myself throughout the day. I don't beat myself up if not all completed, and try to focus on what I have completed instead. 🤷♀️ Sometimes it takes just saying to myself that I am just going to clean the big pan or whatever, the next thing I know the entire kitchen is cleaned. ❤
Best comment. This makes me feel so comforted (I guess?😅) Good to know I'm not unique in this awful way and maybe not stuck as a nutcase forever. Thank you!
It happens to all of us sometimes.. where we're like a little animal, scared and longing for ease, safety, love and acceptance...welcome to Earth , brave souls! You are infinitely loved actually.💖✨✨💫
Crazy how that used to be me. All the time. Non stop.
But I’ve made so much progress, now the only issue I have is dissociating.
Can i ask you what you did to get better?
Same question here
I feel you in that diassociation part 😢
@@iscle-lee Would love to know how you got better as well, and congratulations for it!
I'm working on getting there, especially the procrastination and concentration issues. I would be so much better off in life if I could conquer those 2 things. I have the drive but then my mind just can't focus and then I procrastinate.
Sending everyone here a hug, we are only here for a short time. I hope that you find peace in the places you need it most.
Thank you and same to you 😊 God bless 🙏
@@SisTarra7 Aw thank you sunshine! God bless you and yours😊
Hugs 🫂
@@GalacticAngel444 Your very welcome 🤗 and thank you as well 🤍🫂🕊️🙏🪔
This means so much to me right now.
The freeze. The feeling of not being safe. Excellent piece. Overload. Fatigue.
I finally admitted myself into a psych ward after attempting to take my life, because I did not feel worthy as a human being, not knowing I was surrounded by evil. And not understanding I had complex trauma. Biggest save in the world, now I know. Now the true healing begins. Prayers for all who’ve been through hell and back. So proud of you for keeping it pushing no matter what. You’re a blessing and light in what feels like, a darkness you don’t understand unless you’ve lived to tell your story. 💝🙏
I’m glad you didn’t end your life. God has you here for a reason and a purpose that is bigger than yourself. I promise he loves you and I promise you are worthy. Keep seeking to get to know God. Read the Bible. Talk to Jesus. He is my healer and my savior. He saved me from darkness , depression and bondage. I am now free because of his love ❤ Jesus is the way, the truth, and the LIFE ❤ God bless you sister
God bless you 🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@KamDashcamthis is not speaking in love! Not helpful to the person who commented. Very mean and judgmental. You are not the judge - don’t be mean
God bless you and protect you❤
@@KamDashcamthat isn't what that means it means look at me look how Holy i am I'm praying everyone look. God isn't mad when we share out stories with others and give them hope
I've never come across a video that talks about complex trauma and it's honestly so validating
Ive been like that , still am, get scared when someone walks in room., or noises. Want to start my hobbies but get distracted easily , end up not doing them
I've had wonderful Doctors. My current Doc actually said post traumatic stress. Validation...almost feels ok...I'm gonna be ok.
truly
"Crappy Childhood Fairy" channel has lots of good content on CPTSD / Trauma 😊
It is. I chuckled TBH when watching because "so relatable" but also felt sympathy watching and recognizing how much it can be. 😢 Reminder to have kindness with ourselves too...going through this. Just like we might for others! To think we can be so much more gentle and understanding with strangers than ourselves.
Fuck, this hits hard. When you experience this daily, it's easy to forget that it isn't normal.
So true 😔
I found out later in life that it isn’t… I thought I was just weird.
yeah...true unfortunately
I see myself😢 I want to get help but I don't know where to go and I can't seem to take that step 😞
Yes, you need to step outside yourself first I think. I'm like this also
Yes! This used to be me. Man, I have so much compassion for that me now, even though there was no one harder on me then, than myself.
If this is you, you need to find a safe space. You need to do the very difficult work of learning how to put yourself first by learning boundaries, this often looks like separating yourself from negative people/voices in your life. If scrolling social media triggers you, cut it out of your life. Do an inventory of feeling through your triggers to get to the roots of fear that are causing them. And stop overloading yourself with more to do. You need REST and SAFETY. You need more space to breathe and move slowly in your life to cultivate healing that stays. It is so, so, so important.
I tried to end my life in March of 2019, and I swear the Lord stilled my hand and in that moment, I was so angry about it. I wanted an end to the constant torture within myself and the first lesson He taught me was I do not owe anything to anyone. My existence is not made valuable by what I can or cannot do. I am worthy of rest, I am worthy of life, I am worthy of being enough even as an imperfect human. Healing from there was slow, steady, and painful at times, but I kept my eyes on the light, on who I AM and NOT who this broken world and my broken mind lied me into being for far too long. And I am so proud of myself now, I am SO thankful to my God and Savior now. I am not the same woman and what I never thought was possible before is now my daily walk in peace and purpose 🥰❤️
Hallelujah!!
God bless you Sister in Christ. Thank you for some new words of wisdom for me. I'm proud of you too.
Thank you for this beautiful testimony. 🙌🏾♥️🕊️🙏🏾
Wow ❤ I am so happy for you ❤
Building my faith ,prayers , meditation , spiritual awakening Is Tremendously helping me with life , with my trauma , helping me to build my elder children as they went threw trauma too , We have succeded With Love, Light , Wisdom in our Lives Thankyou Amen 🙏♥️🌈☀️📚🌍
Amen 🙏🏼
🫶🏾
This is why it’s so easy to mis-diagnose CPTSD as ADHD and vice versa. Almost every symptom you listed is also a classical symptom in ADHD. It’s why a detailed and thorough history taking with new patients is so important.
ADHD is infantile C-PTSD. Even if a parent doesn't think they traumatised their child, anything negligent can be traumatic for a baby.
@@audreydoyle5268 unttil what age? thank you.
I agree sometimes I wonder if my daughter who has recently been diagnosed with ADHD has complex PTSD instead has she has had some traumatic experience since high-school
@@audreydoyle5268that’s just not true adhd is a developmental disorder and can be a comorbidity with CPTSD it’s not infantile cptsd stop spreading misinformation and maybe read the latest dsm-5 revised text and speak to an adhd specialist if you have questions.
@@audreydoyle5268bro just discovered babies crying
I startle very easily and i hate when people find it funny, then do it on purpose.
It's a remnant of trauma that I can't get rid of and people just think it's good for a laugh.
Try not to take them trying to scare you on purpose too seriously. My boss's son was deathly afraid of spiders & If he ever saw one he'd shriek with the tone of a boiling tea kettle & start wailing like Nancy Kerrigan. I don't consider myself a bad person & I have good intentions for him , but from then on we would purposely leave rubber spiders around to get a startle response from him. I don't know why I did that.
@nervesdarocha Oh my gosh!! To me it’s so cruel of them to laugh. Whenever it happened, it actually tired me out. Doesn’t feel good at all. What’s been 100% helpful is working remote and STRONG boundaries. It takes me a little longer to recharge so alone time isn’t necessarily a problem for me. Outdoor time a great as well. God will get us through it all. God Bless you ❤
I'm sorry you have such inconsiderate people in your life that find your trauma as a source of entertainment. That's so wrong!
My neighbour & son knocked on my window when I was sat relaxing at home. It startled me. I then frowned and said "It's not funny to make someone jump. I startle due to my childhood trauma" and they both apologised and I chatted to her a lot more. Being honest and owning it in a vulnerable way may help. If it does not then going to HR and reporting the abuse, telling them that it is not appropriate to do this and you will not spend time in their company if they are not safe or using boundaries to not be around them are steps to take. People generally empathise when you take them to one side and explain it.
They are ignorant and not worth your time. They do not have the privilege of knowing your business. Walk away. I live alone and the peace of my home is wonderful. Only a few friends can come in.
😳😔 You just described me. 🤔
I had not realized or known that these behaviors were trauma responses.
With My Deepest Gratitude! ! !❤⚜️❤
Blessed Be! ! !❤🙏❤
Sending lots of love to everyone who is experiencing this in their lives. You’re stronger than you know and you’re on a path of healing now. Things will get better 💙
I used to get yelled at for fidgeting so I started clinching my butt at a young age. I’ve got a butt that Kim K would be jealous of. It’s the only good thing to come out of my trauma! 😂
😂 I'm sorry for laughing. I love your optimism!
Maybe that's why mine is still so high
😂
Same actually, I have a strange high round butt that the rest of my family doesn't bc my fidgeting is clenching and unclenching my butt
OMG I literally did the same thing!
I get so embarrassed when I do these often times when my husband asks what's wrong, I'll lie and say I accidentally bit my tongue or stubbed my toe to brush it off. He probably knows I'm lying because he gives me a big ol hug anyway, tells me I didnt do anything wrong and that I'm safe. I'm so grateful for him.
You're blessed to have him, that's a special guy.
That's fantastic ❤❤❤❤
You are so lucky
I guess, this is what you called a happy endings❤
That made me cry. It’s wonderful that you have him
Sympathetic overload , constant fidgeting I identify doing this
Thank you for your GREAT compassion. ❤
This is exactly Me 💯. It's devastating to see Myself in this video. Breaks my heart TBH. My healing* heart❤️🔥
I wanted to reach in and give her a hug.
Sever childhood trauma, at 60+ I still startle when grandchildren walk into a room I’m in. PTSD and generalized anxiety. Tears when I saw this short 🤦🏽♀️
Sending much love gramma, heal for yourself - you are worth it! And your grandchildren are worth it too❤
I have complex PTSD too. I’m in my 60s and have generalized anxiety disorder, too. I’ve experienced flashbacks and SI. I’m here to tell you that I’m healing because I’ve found a therapist who has done EMDR and trauma focused therapy with me. Stay hopeful my friend. Healing is still possible.
Trauma effects all ages. I went to a program where intense group therapy took place every day. The oldest person there was a women in her 80’s. She was finally getting help for the first time in her life. But much like the older generations she felt guilty bringing up her past to her husband because she didn’t want to be a burden. As she put it, she was someone who preferred to care for others. And since she cared for her husband physically when he needed it, when helped her realize that it was his turn to take care of her as well. Not sure how things turned out in the end because after two months insurance wouldn’t pay for it since I was showing progress. I hope that she is doing well though
Big hugs to you, as someone who knows this pain all too well.
May Jesus continue to lift our load and be our peace that passes all understanding.
Bless you! ❤️
You're not alone in the tears.
And then the person whose causing the trauma yells at you for it.
Its time to leave that one then.😢
Not easy if it’s a parent and you’re a child for example
Literally..
@@user-yz9yg4yx1kIt's not that simple if it's your parent
@@user-yz9yg4yx1kIt's not always a partner/spouse, it can be a family member
Been working with my wonderful therapist to help me with this and C-PTSD. Hugs to all going through this.
Having CPTSD and ADHD is wild cause some of the symptoms are similar so for a long time I had no idea what was wrong. Therapy has helped me tremendously!
And there’s so much more to CPTSD. The anxiety, the OCD, the shame , the body pain from being triggered. I’m on my second year of healing, but it’s so hard. No one gets how torturous it is. Wishing everyone peace and love.❤
I totally get it, it's very hard living with Complex PTSD, I can't go where there are large crowds, will get an anxiety attack and can't leave fast enough, on top of being a single mom, everyday slowly gets better
wdym by ocd? not everyone with cptsd had ocd, they’re different disorders
@@loveinstars I have been doing trauma work 2x a week for two years now. My ruminating and fear is OCD. They all tie in together -not saying everyone who has CPTSD has OCD -it’s just one of my symptoms. have a nice week.🙂
Healing prayers for you.
And your exhaustion from all of it. Totally wipes you out. Try to get rest.
My therapist said I have complex ptsd, I rock myself to sleep every night. And staring at the shit I have to do instead of doing them drives me insane. I feel like I’m fighting my own body to get it to do something. Never really think about how much these small things bother me until it’s pointed out by videos like this.
Same. We are going to be alright ❤. I found breaking it into small things helps.
One of my sons has done this since he was a baby.... And couldnt and still dont know why. Hes not autistic. But possibly ptsd.... Hang in there you are so much stronger amd resiliant than you feel at times. Ypu got this. We all do.... Keep going it eill be worth it in the end... Xx
When I was a child my older sister rocked herself to sleep sideways back and forth. She had been sexually assaulted by a male babysitter. Tied to the bed posts. My parents didn't believe her, so it continued. There were more signs of it too graphic to share here. Heartbreaking. I don't know if I was born yet as I'm 6 years younger, but my memories of her rocking are from 5 years old & up. I asked her if I was born yet and in the room, but she said no. I don't know. From this she became a bully and mistreated me until I was 16. I've often wondered if that rocking had an affect on me. I have my own trauma issues from childhood and in them right now at 74. Hoping and preparing my escape. I don't rock but rub my skin until I accidentally make an open wound. Startled easily & many more symptoms. When I was 17, I babysat a foster child who rocked on he's knees frontwards and backwards. I knew something wasn't right, but had no idea what this child may have gone through. I've had lots of counseling but my sister never has and now I've had to go no contact with her as she's a mean, bullying alcoholic, but only treats me this way. Thanks for allowing me a place to share something I've never have shared with any one before. God bless you all.
This is REAL. Thank you for the validation, Nicole.❤
Ahhh, when I came to this short, I did not expect for most to be so relateable 😭 And do not even get me started with the startled easily one, that one is just, ahh, INSANELY accurate!!!!
Your video is spot on. I’ve lived with PTSD for over 40 years. I have family that have told me to “get over it”. There was no “it” but rather many times ex-boyfriend put a gun to my head, stalked me, always catching me off guard (i was 14 the first time and at high school). The courts did nothing…thank God I lived….so many do not. Thank you for your video and raising awareness. The book the Body Keeps the Score was insightful, too. Thank you!!
❤
Thank God you are alive❤❤
🙏❤️🙏
Thank god your still here love and thank the Lord your healing I'm glad you made it god is good I hope you make it into heaven bless your heart 💘💯
Yes they just don’t get it do they. Dispassionate or may be a critical or judge mental spirit. Keep praying for them watch what happens. In Jesus name.
Great video! I would also add constant soreness from muscle tension, headaches and migraine, dizziness, the urge to withdraw and isolate, excessive uncomfortable crying, vomiting, itching or skin problems, extreme fatigue, bowel and bladder issues, paranoid hallucinations, and nightmares/sleepwalking/insomnia.
Then your surely a soldier please keep god close so if and when I get to heaven I know your there ❤🎉
@@LianaMcNabb Thank you for your kind words. I send you the same compassion. 💞
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
ABSOLUTELY. I would ad in all of those as well!!!
SO true! Thank you for adding that. Some people need the awareness ❤
Wow that's me except the sleep walking. Things are really tough but I pray to my Jesus who gives strength in the storm to heal us.❤
I’ve lived 32 years of life not knowing about cptsd. This channel helped me open my eyes. I’m 6 months into EMDR therapy and feel optimistic for the first time in my life.
The barriers to recovery are so hard currently. I hope for a future where we can all have the space to grow and flourish.
I can't afford more than one on one counseling. Do you think the EMDR on UA-cam could be helpful for me?
I was not aware these were C-PTSD symptoms. I've always thought about getting help or talking to someone about it, but always felt I missed the mark so I never tried.
This video definitely changed my mind. I think I need to reach out for help with this.
Thank you for sharing 🙏
I have about 3 of those issues after a lot of trauma in my life. I always chalked it up to laziness, weakness, or depression. Interesting to see this!
Someone else has put these labels on your behavior, probably when you were a child. We don't do that ourselves.
@@carmenl163Exactly this. Our brains know it's fine, and that we are just trying to not die, but society makes us think it's our fault for not being "normal". It sucks, and society needs to do better
Sameeeee 😢
Me too, I always thought I was just lazy because that’s what I was told. It’s much more complex than that.
@@carmenl163you’re right I was called lazy a lot as a child. When I’m triggered I literally have to force myself to move my body.
This is me all day every day.
I am in trauma therapy finally at 44 yrs old and finally clean and sober for the first time
So the healing begins ❤
I'm so proud of you! Hugs
Congratulations! That's HUGE. 🌞
Be kind to yourself. Baby steps. It's a brand new day. 🙂👍
I'm so proud of you , so proud of us for Trying to do better for ourselves ❤
May the Lord guide your steps 🙏🙏
Thank you all ❤️and I hope every one of you find peace and healing
The Body Keeps Score is an excellent book! Helps understand what’s behind the manifestations of reactions to trauma, remembered or blocked. Highly recommend it!
Does it actually tell you how to work at processing your traumas ? Or is it like Gabor Mate telling you what it is ?
Yup. Lots of prayer, counseling and healing. I never stopped pursuing help. I am grateful i didnt give up.
I have a chronic procrastination issue for sure. For a long time I never realized there was a third option to fight or flight. I freeze every time.
There's a fourth one as well: fawn. It's when someone overcompensates to try to please/calm the other person.
Dissociation is also a freeze response.
Every single thing
'The body keeps the score' is one of my fav books as it provides one with such an intriguing way of understanding individuals with complex trauma
Having it sitting on my shelf, maybe time to finally read it
Harassment at work put me in a bad place again
@@salsadip7453it was a hard, triggering read for me. I started it once on audible then had to stop. I didn’t even realize why but it was just too many triggers. Then my husband died suddenly (were 40 so I wasn’t quite expecting it at our age) and my therapist and trauma therapist both recommended it so I picked it back up. It was very painful at times and I had to go slowly but it was helpful. Very good book. May be time to read it again.
@@salsadip7453 It can be a difficult book to read as it talks about individuals who have experienced great trauma and is pretty descriptive. But overall it is a very insightful book.
I'm sorry that you had to experience that. No one should go through any form of harassment, whatever and wherever it might take place. I hope this book will provide you with some comfort.
I just bought the book last night!! I can not wait to read it! 📖 🙏🏾
I'm currently reading it, other than the insight, does it also provide some useful advice on how to help oneself? It would motivate me to read it faster lol😊
THANK YOU - I think the easily startled is the one for me.
But just THANK YOU
Most people just meet and say hello, they ask how each other is doing. They never know each other, or care to. Sometimes people can SEE others and understand what they experience. You see people, and this has great relief for the ones being seen!
This is SO powerful and true. Thank you for what you do to help us understand and overcome. You're a blessing!
Grief and stress has me jumpy like that and my heart hurts. This too shall pass thanks be to God who is with me.
Amen
Yes! AMEN.❤
Amen, thank you God my Lord and holy spirit
Routine. Therapy. Encouragement and commitment. That is what it took for me to overcome these issues. Of course, there are other things. But routine is what saves me more than anything. These things used to control every aspect of my life. I have worked hard to change that. You can get better. You just gotta have faith in yourself and remember that you deserve everything you are sacrificing for. It will be worth it, in the end.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. It meant alot to read it.
How do you get better or heal 😢
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing what works for you and many others.
I was so depressed while also tortured with chronic anxiety , never knowing why.
Truly I was isolating and afraid to go into the world and ask for the simplest thing.
I started attended a twelve step group where I learned the source of my physical and
emotional pains. I learned not to be afraid and found the vocabulary and patterns taught by my "sick" family. Having the opportunity to hear others describe the exact behaviors I experienced , I felt validated and knew I was not the person my toxic, triangulating, narcissistic, emotionally unavailable, judgmental, mother and her toxic religiosity trained me to be.
Being in a room where I felt 100% safe to be me, I could finally exhale and relax. I learned I could NOT learn when I didn't feel safe or loved.
Bit by bit and with the help of others, I learned I had the choice to change. I made that choice .
With the help of the 12 step materials, the other people in those groups and a loving sponsor, I learned how to change. I also had some help from EMDR and learning new language to replace
what I had been taught . It is a day to day, sometimes minute by minute experience. I learned I could trust trustworthy people, and that " my higher power" who I call Jesus has and does love
and protect me.
Blessings and peace to all who have and continue to suffer. 💕🙏🙂
The lady creator of this channel is a blessing!
I found the same thing. My trouble is when I spiral, i spiral hard. Even the smallest effort every day is worth something
This has made me cry into the truth it tells .
Wow this explains so much. Thank you. I was raised in a horrific environment and when you try to leave it behind it surfaces in other ways. Healing takes time but I found God gives us the time we need to be able to handle facing what we wanted to forget. My kids use to laugh at some of those behaviors I did while they grew up and so did I because I didn't know the full magnitude of what I was carrying inside. So glad to be on a healing journey in life. I'm so much better today. ❤
God doesn't give us the time to handle what we want to forget, He heals the pain and removes the inner scars and trauma. He restores our soul and gives us the peace that surpasses understanding ❤
@@GameChanger597for everyone is different and He works differently. For some it's straight away, for others it's a process. Sometimes this process can be sped up when we are completely open to it. But that's something between the person and the Lord.
I feel you. Same thing here. As you are growing up in a violent household, all you want to do is escape. It's too late by the time you are 17 or 18 and free to leave. The damage is done. You move from here to there in this world, looking sideways at those who are full of life and have happy families and carefree lives. It's hard to grasp the intricacies of the damage done to the mind.
Amen. My startle reflex is so high. I hate it. My kids would laugh at me too, mostly movies. I cannot watch scary movies.
You didn't know the full magnitude of what you were carrying inside. Perfect. Thankyou. I'm just beginning my journey of healing & I'm 71! I used to think that the humor helped but I think it just covers up a lot of pain
This is 90% me. I never knew how to describe this. I'm impressed someone can express and share it. Thanks.
...me also
Still me after all these years of healing. It runs so deep!
Absolutely true. Good to know I’m not alone 🙏🏻💙
This has just made me cry uncontrollably. I didn't realise that this was a thing until watching this. I am 64 and have suffered with ALL these things all my love . I start every sentence with an apology which irritates everyone but I can't help it. I have been shouted at all my life for these things and I cannot take any more. Goodness knows how I managed o work and bring up healthy. well balanced children. I really don't know any more.
I'm so sorry
@@goingbyebye Thank you. xx
@@sbeaney9289 Thank you. What makes me happy though is that I haven't passed that on to my children and they acknowledge that, saying that I 'broke the wheel of abuse', xx
@@Golightly354Now that you've identified your symptoms you can begin to look for help, there's lots online. Sending love and healing to you. ❤
@@vickieandrew1010 Many thanks for your positive, caring comment. Take care. xx
I have every single one of these symptoms. I look back and it stems from being bullied as a child at school & on the bus from 1st grade through 8th grade, 8 LONG & BRUTAL years at a snobby little private school. I'm 53 years old now and I still have these issues while on medication to ease my panic, sudden startling & anxiety attacks because of something that happened so long ago. People, PLEASE talk to your children about NOT bullying others, not participate or join in when some other kids have started it, even speak up for the one being bullied; it is so important to try to put an end to bullying. However, I know that is almost impossible because there are ALWAYS going to be a$$holes that think they are better than other people.
Hugs
Take up kundalini yoga beautiful soul. You can heal with drugs. 🙏🏻 also check out Joe Dispenza and his method to healing the energy body.
Sorry without drugs that should say.
Bullying can lead to death for a victim, so yes, please teach your children not to be bullys.
Our poor bodies go through so much. After watching all these videos it becomes so clear the moment we are brought into this world is where it all begins. We do the best we can in circumstances and our body is protecting us. I hope everyone is kinder to self as the years go by. In reality we are here for a short time. 🙏🏻
Yep. That was basically a snap shot of 40 years of my life. Last 10 years, much less of any of that, but it took work and daily tweaks. Being human is hard, but a better life is possible.
"Take care of your heart, because from it flows your life"
Amen 🙏 ❤
Wait, I had no idea. Things that I do make so much sense now
Yep, in mid 50’s and just now started to figure some stuff out, turns out its not normal to be startled just because someone in a calm home walks into the room
I have this weird a*s habit where i physically tremble whenever I'm slightly stressed, so I could be smiling at you and talking casually and confidently but those trembles appear and disappear as quickly, I personally try to supress it when I talk to ppl (with ppl in general) I'm not necessarily scared just stressed all the time, and it's a behavioural habit i intergrated too much to an extent it could happen automatically sometimes... Usually when I'm distracted from my thoughts and how am doin it doesn't happen at all, i just realized it's a bit of a problem when other ppl noticed it (even tho it happened only about twice..)
Same 😢
I've known for some time that I have complex PTSD. I've wondered forever why I procrastinate and struggle so much with completing tasks. I thought I was just LAZY, even though I work two jobs and don't procrastinate on completing THEIR tasks. THIS VIDEO connected the dots for me, and I'm bawling my eyes out because this is me! HOW DO I BREAK THROUGH THE FREEZE STATE AND STOP PROCRASTINATING?
I’m like this all the time and my family hates me for it. They literally can’t see why I can’t just get over the trauma they caused me.
I'm sorry I hope you find some peace some way some how.
Blaming others for your trauma is also a symptom of that trauma.
Relatable, fun fact your words we're probably heard but never understood amongst folks like that. At times it's just hard luck and everything sucks. Just another cinderella story with different characters..
It's always complicated. Part of it will stay with you.
Some days it'll be stormy, some just suffocating , the rest will take you on self sabotage or blame rage ride.
It's Okay, It's alright.
Hang in there little tiger
You're an amazing survivor !
Keep going
find what works for you
Take a break
Stay away from bad vibes
You're a beautiful bud
Get some fresh air, food and sunshine
Dance sweat your heart out
You're stronger than the storm,
the lord is watching over you
Affirm daily before sleeping after you're awake..
When your time comes
You're ready to bloom 🌻
Sorry it's long 😅
If you can...when you can...leave. Get away from those people, even and especially if they are family. I did and, when I wasn't there to abuse anymore, they found a new scapegoat. New scapegoat reached out to me recently to tell me that now they understood that I wasn't making it up or exaggerating. It's nice to hear that one of them now understands I wasn't crazy, but I'm not going back to anyone who was ok with the abusive behaviors. I'm out! You Can go out and make your own "family" even if they aren't your blood. You can be happy.
I hope you can find a safe way to not be around those who traumatized you
This video is so helpful I often wondered why my anxiety stop me in my tracks to the point I can't do a thing
You’ve got to watch Gary Brecka- it’s a nutrient deficiency
This made me cry. I’m only 19 and experiencing all of this so intensely. Particularly since last summer, I can’t really see what caused it clearly. Although there was a lot of family stress in the past … the body keeps score
I like these videos. They make me have more compassion for myself
“the body keeps score”… gave me chills. i relate to every single one of these
This is me to a T - I just thought I was an anxious person but I’ve come to realise through watching your videos that I have had a lot of trauma in my life which I haven’t dealt with.
Thank you for your help 💖
Same here. 😢❤
Ditto.
You're describing my life and I'm sick of it. I becoming so overwhelmed by it I feel like it's closing in on me
Prayers up for anyone suffering with this 🙏 may God bless you and give you peace in Jesus name amen 🙏
Amen🙏❤️
For my non-denominational - aethiestic folks
You deserve to not be afraid in places that are meant to bring comfort.
Amen
Thank you
He is my healer and therapist...he knows everything I experienced even better than I do...thank you Jesus, I love you🙏
The startling, the self-soothing ... This is my life right now. :( Living with trauma would be so much easier if people didn't bully you over your symptoms.
I'm sorry you're going through that and that anyone would think that it's okay to bully you because you're traumatized. That's sick behavior. You don't deserve that. I hope you find healing. Hugs.
@@rainbowconnected Thanks. It’s because people don’t understand trauma. Or life with any sort of disability or special need. People tend to fear what they don’t understand. You get used to microaggressions, to masking and pretending to be “normal” so you don’t have to feel shame for inconveniencing people. Or worse, lose your job or home. I’ve been thrown out by a landlord because of my mental health problems. He seemed to believe I was somehow dangerous or contagious and a threat to other residents. Social media has made it trendy to be mentally ill, but this has only made it harder for genuine sufferers to be taken seriously.
Knowledge of how selfish & cruel human society really is only comes when you’ve fallen on hard times. People you thought were your friends will close their doors & hearts. I’ve experienced kindness, too, and that keeps me from becoming a complete misanthrope. But damn if it’s not hard to keep my chin up sometimes.
I understand. I startle, and when my dad sees me startle at him he gets passive aggressive about it. I also do the self soothing. I have a lot of those symptoms because I have adhd so I am not sure what is what but I am dealing and in therapy right now
@@krlorigami Had my first meeting with a new therapist on Zoom today. Moving forward, however slowly. ❤️
Exactly!!!!
This is me.. I don’t do the rocking/rubbing- but I discovered the way I sleep is self-soothing. I noticed my wrists were really sore all the time and eventually took notice that I sleep hugging myself, in a fetal position and my hands are bent downward.. it was over a year after I had wrist pain that I discovered sleeping like a “dinosaur” or “T-Rex” is a sleep position directly correlated with trauma. The body does truly keep score, as I had no idea this was why my wrists hurt(one in particular as I would put my body weight on that side).. Just thought I would share this incase anyone has the same issue and is struggling to solve by they’re having wrist problems that started after experiencing trauma.
This hurts. Wow, seeing the physicality of it makes it real. It’s validating. 💗
I had most of these symptoms. And I was so tired of not going anywhere in my life, knowing I'm an intelligent person. It took me some years but I did all the changes by self educating and applying that knowledge in every day life. I feel I'm unbreakable now ❤❤❤ God bless you guys, all the sufferers, keep on fighting 🙏🏼 And remember, when you fall, you get up and make another step. When you fall again, you get up and try again. You always get up and try again, there's no other way.
Where did you seek it?? UA-cam? Google therapist?
@marib9721 I learned mostly from the internet, and talking online with people, hearing that there are a lot of people with the same problems, and listening to how they dealt with it. I started setting myself small, achievable goals, and learning small good habits. For example, one habit I learned was to make the bed once I got up in the morning. Sounds silly, right? But for me it was one of 5he first steps. Because now I do it without even thinking. Another example, I've learned to use calendar for my due dates, and appointments. I don't miss anything now. I watch the videos of the successful people, to learn how they live their lives that helps them being successful. It all took some time for me, but I'm so much better organized now, and my life improved so much. I keep working on myself, and I know I'm on the right path. I know I'm strong. Wishing you all the best ❤️
@@Barbara-hw3xzThank you. You've given me some ideas about some things that I can do with some personal things that need to be addressed.😊
@@Barbara-hw3xzMaking the bed, small routines and keeping lists, notes and reminders for things to do helps me a lot as well. I didn't realise that startle reflex has to do with childhood trauma but it makes sense. I too have become very organised and less stressed out over the years. Meditation, introspection and mindfulness helped a lot.
@francalatona591 thank you for saying that, I'm happy to hear that. Wishing you all the best 🙏🏼
Prayers and hugs for everyone. I grew up in trauma from abuse and neglect. Unfortunately, I married what my mom was. My body now does not want to relax. It stays in tense mode even if I consciously try to relax. The scary part is living with someone together ALONE! Don't allow your situation to get to where I am. You can't heal in the same environment you got sick in.❤🙏🤗
Just watching this video brought me from “normal” emotional state to deep tears. Crazy how just seeing it brought me there.
"The body keeps the score" is the title of an absolutely amazing book about PTSD that I wish each and every person would read. I learned so much and it helped me consolidate the knowledge I already had. All in a scientific rigorous way but without the typical strict attitude of Western medicine
Author please?
@@SC-gp7kt Bessel van der Kolk
A transformative book
Also, it is available for free with your Spotify subscription as an audio book! (At least for me in the UK)
damn if i have 4 out of 6 of these i should probably explore this more. i’m in therapy but not really the right kind. i did a very intense 2 year 3x a week program i graduated from in May, but since then i haven’t continued with adding anything further which was suggested. i do go 2x a month for 35 min to talk to somebody but it’s more of a checkup on my current medication and not really therapy even tho it’s called that. This really reminds me how much more work i have. i have major traumas i have not even brought up yet with anyone. But my procrastination and overwhelming amount of responsibilities make me not put my needs first as i should. i’m caregiver for my very elderly and very ill, needy, narcissistic and abusive mother. And i’m a single mom with 2 kids, one of which has some special needs. I also am sober after almost 30 years of addiction. so i have to always put my treatment requirements first to not ever go back to that. (4 yrs sober). so i genuinely love this channel, it’s my reminder to keep putting in the work on me. there’s so much more to accomplish.
Yay😊 We can do it.
Plus, we're not alone.
😭 I have all of this and I hide it beautifully. I know theres nobody to comfort me, nobody to hug me. I put my headphones on and try to ground/center myself. I show no weakness around others because that will alert the wolves.
I had so many of these but getting so much better! Thank you, my Lord gave me the strength!
This makes total sense to me. Thank you for putting out quality content.
Bruh I’ve been trying to get my vagus nerve to chill out for like 5 years. Massages. Meditation. Yoga. Chamomile. I still find myself feeling this constant urge to just… run? Run away
Calming down is well and good but maybe you should actually take up running, too? The stress might still be trapped in your body and when you move in the way your body wants to move, it can be released. Look up somatic experiencing therapy
If your body wants to move, let it. As mentioned, that can help complete the the stress cycle that's trying to play out and let your body feel it's done something to get to safety. It's also worth considering that for some of us, trying to force ourselves to chill out can actually cause more stress. If someone grew up in a very unsafe environment, turning inwards and slowing down can feel dangerous, because it means we're less available to respond to potential threats. It doesn't matter if we're safe now, the brain can get pretty set in those patterns, even if they're maladaptive. I hope you find relief so that you are able to settle into your body in the present moment and feel safe there.
You integrated your reflexes? Do this next. Can be addressed in as little as 30 days of specific movement.
@@localrachelcan you explain what you mean by this
Same
This is such a great video, so simple, so easy to relate to and clearly shows what distress language looks like. 🙌 Folks this is not "normal" behaviour. These are extreme states.
Normal is harmony,
Normal is peace,
Normal is optimism,
Normal is neutral.
You are worthy of "normal" 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for posting this. For the longest time I took ADHD medication, which only made things worse. I'm trying to accept now that I am a naturally anxious person by no fault of my own, and am trying to just move forward one day at a time. We all have trauma and I wish we didn't, but at least we all have each other
This is me in a nutshell . And when I tell others they act like I'm lying or blow it off completely. It's horrible to exist like this.
I'm sorry you're surrounded by such unevolved people. Please know that there's nothing wrong with you feeling or reacting the way you do. I hope you heal from your traumas over time. Sending light and positivity! ✨🙏🏼
don't tell others especially if they are unable to validate you
You are not alone.
I am with you i have been like this since i was 16 it is an awful existence i dont know how i am still here
Maybe we have something big to say to the collective, we are all sensitives, there is just something different with us
I have no answers but i have give up trying to tell people they dont see it its not like having a broken leg
God bless you all sensitives ❤
❤ That's me - at 60, with your site, therapy & all-around care, am learning!. Even as a Nurse, couldn't see it bc it was easy caring for others, never myself. Still happens, but it gets better. 🎉 Thank you.
I’m so glad you are starting to look after yourself in that way. Keep going ❤
Hugs
I’m 61, this is me all day.
Same here, ex -nurse learning how to care about myself in an un-caring world.
@@Penge362 ... After a lifetime in the absolutely thankless profession called Nursing.
Definitely how it is. After EMDR treatment, I’m much better, though still disassociate a lot . Can never really trust anyone either, don’t even care , prefer to never trust, too great a risk I feel it’s how I can protect myself.
Wow, I experience all of that. I hate feeling this all the time especially when I'm driving I feel like everybody is driving through me. It hurts.
This was me for many years. I’m healing and overcoming the trauma. So can YOU. It’s hard work, but, well worth the effort.
❤
It’s therapeutic just to know that others express themselves similarly. Thank you!
Wow thank you soo much for your videos ! I had all of these my goodness! Grateful for my healing and feeling my feels as they surfaced, no more holding in, letting go ! And toxic people, get away from me ! I learned what was wrong with me !
I was just diagnosed with this two weeks ago and to see that I’m not alone. Makes me feel better. I’m sorry to everyone that have went through such horrendous trauma. That have made us this way, but we are fighters and trust me. I know I’m not the only one that fight to live every day, but we made it today and I hope the person reading knows that God loves them and we will make it again, and, again, and again, and again. We are special. We are unique we are beautiful. We are conquerors and we understand life from a very different perspective, which gives us the compassion and empathy that we have , I just Pray we find the right people. That will appreciate us and loves us just for who we are because we’re not bad people. We’re not horrible people we’re not overly emotional people. We are just trying to find our identity that was taken from us May God continue to bless us!
DAMN IT! Here I had thought I'd made it through a traumatic childhood like a champ. 20's act out, 30's figured it out,now 40's, and my issues were just waiting to pounce like a ticking time bomb 💣.
Yes same her om having to drag it all up and work with it daily its not easy but we will get there 😊
@@staceymurray9644You are safe, you are safe, you are safe... Mantra for life
I can relate to all of that. C-PTSD sneaked up on me, didn’t even realize it until I saw in the deep end…!
Point me towards the exit sign please.
So accurate I love the chakra tattoos. We could actually use a chakra balancing like every single damn day!
That surprise/shock at the beginning causes me actual physical pain that shoots through my entire body leaving feelings like an aftershock too & I’ve only got general anxiety disorder.
This got me in tears:( because this is still me and it sinks my heart to know others feel the way I do. I’d take it all away if I could.
This made my chest feel tight. I have wondered about the long term effects of trauma from my past. I’m starting to understand how it is lingering in my body. Thank you for this.
I never heard of this complex trauma, but this short video pretty much describes what has been happening to me in recent months. I would say the past few years have been and continue to be traumatic. I subscribed and will be watching the videos. 😮
Every time I see one of your shorts I end up in tears. Not in a bad way... just seeing that someone understands and can explain me to me 🫂 thankyou 🌼
Yes . Praying for a soul suffering the real traumas of life 🙏✅
So, I have CPTSD. And one of the hobbies I’ve been picked since I was a kid is art. I’m an incredible artist.
I originally tried drawing to teach myself how to do things I don’t feel like doing. Or to teach myself how to stop fidgeting. Or to help myself drown out things, and feel real.
I’m nearing thirty now, and I love art. It’s become such a special to me.
Sounds like your strength & talent could be a great career you’d love, as an art therapist to help others as well. God’s light of love & blessings to you! 😊
“The Body Keeps the Score” is a GREAT book as well!! Thnx for sharing… 🙏🏼💕
Yes it is! The body really does keep the score!
I’ve heard that it only tells why but not how to release the trauma. I know what happened I need to know the treatment
@@yve5659 have you read the book?
Good Reel
Been Coming Out Of Narc Abuse Even While Still In It For Two Years Now
My Brain Really Has Healed Tho There Are Some Things That Can Trigger A Body Response
Glad To Have Gone Thru It To Now Have The Healing It Ultimately Brought But It Was One Heck Of A Journey
In Separation Now- he Is Sick- Cancer- Watching And Listening To Adonai For Now
Shalom
So relatable. I thought I was just being lazy for the longest time and would drink coffee and FORCE myself to complete the tasks I procrastinated doing.
After therapy processing my childhood PTSD the only issues I still struggle with are the freeze state and startling easily. Luckily my husband is very loving and understanding and helps me work through my freezes by picking a starting point and tries his best to never scare me. Deep breaths everyone.
My husband does the same. I am so blessed with his compassion & kindness. I wish I could find a type of therapy that resolves/heals the awful intense "startle response."
@@michelleduncan9965find a therapist that has been trained in trauma...not all therapists are
There's also inmune system response, rashes, allergies, fatigue... Sometimes I just breathe and breathe and many symptoms go away.
I am 14 days sober today. I have CPTSD. The last 10 years have been so full of abuse that I can't believe I made it. I wanted to give up. Instead, I demanded proof of God's existence. He showed up and spoke. I could feel Him and hear him. People want my story to go away. Some dont believe me, or they blame me. I I haven't got any therapy yet. I have a hard time trusting people now. Im moving slowly towards rebuilding my life and getting help. Thank you for your channel. We are fragile beings who can only take so much. People are not robots.
After doing tons of EMDR, mindfulness, and DBT skills practice, I am so grateful to say I've made my way past most of the struggling. ❤️ Shout-out to anyone who is still struggling. You can do this, I promise. 😊❤
I have Complex PTSD and this is a good representation of what it looks and feel like. And not only do I startle easily, but when I get startled, I then get angry and can flip out and snap at someone I love. Which then it makes me feel like a POS afterwards because I've verbally accosted them. Though thankfully, in recnt times I've gotten less and less startled. I still do from time to time but the frequency has diminished significantly. To anyone who has this trauma, know that it does get better with time. Especially with trauma informed therapy, learning good coping mechanisms, and somatic therapy too. Where I was years ago to where I am now is a big difference.
Omg this is me. And i feel so terrible after feeling a wave of anger. Because i know its not how i really feel
Exactly. For me if I am startled badly, I will shake etc just like a milder panic attack. I am improving on shaking it off, deep breathing and to stop freezing, I set lil goals for myself throughout the day. I don't beat myself up if not all completed, and try to focus on what I have completed instead. 🤷♀️
Sometimes it takes just saying to myself that I am just going to clean the big pan or whatever, the next thing I know the entire kitchen is cleaned. ❤
Better with time and work, too. Lots of self care.
@@alibobo2009you can heal with your partner it’s not a solitary situation you’ll be ok
Best comment. This makes me feel so comforted (I guess?😅) Good to know I'm not unique in this awful way and maybe not stuck as a nutcase forever. Thank you!
The body keeps the score, the book written by Bessel van der Kolk, made me cry so hard and so much. I felt understood for the first time in my life.
Thank you for that recommendation!
Great book I listened on audible ❤
It happens to all of us sometimes.. where we're like a little animal, scared and longing for ease, safety, love and acceptance...welcome to Earth , brave souls! You are infinitely loved actually.💖✨✨💫