Oh mate As a singer myself I feel so much for you I go back and forth on do I want to continue doing that stuff or not 'Cause on one hand I love this and, yes, I'm also live for the validation of the audience and my friends But on the other hand I've lost joy, I've completely lost interest and I don't know what to do So yeah I feel ya
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it means so much to me. I also played classical music for around ten years, though I was a violinist since I was 9 years old until 2020. For a long time I knew I didn't enjoy playing in front of others, it caused me so much stage fright and anxiety that I would almost pass out, but I did enjoy the orchestra. Mainly because I wasn't alone and no one would listen to me only, but now I realize that I also lived for the applause, for the validation of the audience. But when that disappeared during Covid, everything went downhill. My mental health declined because I had to send recordings of myself playing every week; it was like torture, to the point where I even started causing physical pain to myself. That, added to the constant fact that, no matter how much I practiced, I never improved in my classes and in my playing in general, also that I would always make the same old mistakes during concerts even after dozens of rehearsals and personal practice, and an incident with the orchestra that told me very clearly how replaceable I was for them, it broke me. I ended up despising classical music, so much so that I couldn't stand listening to someone else playing the violin. Realizing that I didn't want to play anymore was a very dark time for me, because it was like losing a part of myself, of my identity, because I had been doing it for so long and since I was very young. Knowing what you went through has helped me feel less alone. People around me dismiss so much the mental health factor of why I left the violin, but your story proves that what I went through is real, and valid, and that I'm not the only one. Your channel has also helped me make peace with classical music and start loving it again, rediscovering why I got into it in the first place; the magic and the beauty of it. It's so valuable. I don't know if you, or anyone, is going to read this, but thank you, Marco. Thank you so much for being such an inspiration. I really hope your aspirations and wishes come true, and I wish you live a happy, fulfilling life. 🤍
Disgusting that they called you replaceable. This sounds so rough, and I’m so glad you made the decision to save yourself and your mental health! I hope music becomes less painful for you ❤
If you feel physical pain helps with stress and anxiety, you might be right. Try acupuncture, where a little bit physical pain brings physical and metal health. It takes a few sessions, but the result will be amazing. I do it myself so I know.
Having a passion and doing it as a career are two different experiences, I completely understand what you went through. I'm in my 30s now with an unrelated day job, and I'm able to finally go back to playing for my own enjoyment. Take care of yourself and one day you will find your love for the instrument again, but give yourself time to heal ❤
Lifelong (mostly-unpaid) concert Tenor here with nearly 21 years of performance experience--vocal scholarships paid for the majority of my tuition in university. I have an unending level of respect for performers like yourself, Marco--many of us have fallen into the applause trap, many never come out of it. You making the decision to walk away is admirable beyond measure. Music should enhance our lives, not encumber them--when the joy leaves, sometimes all you can do is bow and exit stage right (or left if you're odd like me). It brings me infinite joy that you have found something in this channel and community that you enjoy--our lives are made better by your insights and I hope that we, as a community, have and can continue to be a positive force for you. Unoriginal idea here, as it's been done before (especially with the shanty craze a few years back), but what about a community ensemble project where we come together with you to perform pieces from these games you've exposed so many to?
what a really good idea. Might also be a way for Marco to kickstart even some UA-cam careers. You can never have enough music channels that obey the classical rules of music.
Beautiful video and beautiful performance, Marco. For what its worth, I'm glad you took the journey you did cause we would probably not have your channel otherwise, and your videos are always a highlight of my days. Wishing you all the success!
You are a talented and super cool person, dude. You deserve to be proud of being you, regardless of what you do now. Video games totally made me fall in love with classical/orchestral music. I remember telling people when I was young, "oh I like classical music". One guy called me a liar. Umm... I am a gamer.... Baldur's Gate, Never Winter Nights, every other clip in those games is a bombastic orchestral feast for the ears. Arcanum was composed by a string quartet and I had that OST on repeat while studying. Yeah, I love classical music. The guy who called me a liar is what I would call an uncultured gaming swine. 😂
I have a similar experience with classical music in the orchestra sense :>. I play classical guitar and I had sorta separated myself from this side of classical music but sci-fi adventure and fps games brought me back into how fascinating orchestra music is :>.
I'm not the singer. I'm the theatre brat child of the singer who went on to become a a vocal instructor. Everything you're talking about is something I've seen and has been impressed to me. It is what it is to be an entertainer-we are all Pagliacci who is most likely the single most relatable character across all of opera to the modern man, even if most modern men don't realize it. Singing never interested me outside of my connection to it-for me, the art is too ephemeral. A performance exists in that moment, and even though it may be recorded, that moment is something that is there and then gone forever. Having lived with performers for my entire life, what keeps them going through all the hardships seems to be an intense addiction to those moments on stage. They can't live without getting out there and performing, letting it all out. Even when they are terrified-especially when they are terrified. Performers simply MUST. I'm a digital illustrator and all around media guy myself. I make images and yearn for them to be seen of course... but even if only 2-10 people ever see them, I make them anyways. Because it's not about the viewer, it's about this thing inside of me that must be expressed and I will express it the best I know how. It's our grand blessing and eternal curse.
I really appreciate this video. I'm a senior in undergrad also getting my degree in voice but now with grad school auditions around the corner I've realized that I'm not happy singing anymore, partially because I'm feeling similar things to what you said in the video. I never know if I'm good enough or if I have promise, not to mention the financial burden that comes with this career. I feel so burnt out trying to put my all into this career for what seems to be no return. I feel like I'm too far in now to give up and do something else, I don't even know how to do something else. I thought I'd just leave this here, I'm so glad knowing I'm not the only one who feels this but I don't know what to do with myself now.
Thanks so much for your vulnerability. While it oftentimes feels insurmountable to shift the culture of classical music, those of us who aren’t financially reliant on it can be more open about the trauma, anxiety and pain that comes with being in this classical music ecosystem. Thank you again for sharing. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Needed to hear this right now❤️❤️
In my architecture school, many many students dropped out because they didn't like the scolding of the teachers, and the pressure of presentation when you are publicly humiliated by reviewers. Once graduated from school, you have to work for low wage as an apprentice for years, meanwhile your friends are getting married and buying a house. So again many would-be architects changed career. Those who made it at the end to become a professional architect will be rewarded with a sense of achievement and respect from new clients, if they never gave up and kept heart. Art is a long and lonely journey, most without much acknowledgement, until the point you are a business owner and deal with other business people who are also looking for people like you to work with.
9:47 Such a beautiful touching moment..I really felt that happiness with that huge smile when the colleagues started the surprise chorus..almost brought me to tears
Your speaking voice really made me think you're baritone, and behold you're indeed a tenor, though on the more heavy side. Thanks for the heartfelt video.
As a former stage actor myself, this video hits hard, both about the immense thrill and joy of the magic moments, and all the dark bits that surrounds those good bits. Thank you for openly sharing some of your journey.
Funny how it always takes quite a good amount of time until we eventually realize "the only way to win the game is to not play it anymore", and it almost always involves getting burned out and somewhat psychologically scarred to an extent. Wish it weren't that way, but it is *oh-so-liberating* when you finally break out of that vicious cycle. I'm happy for you my dude. Hope I can reach that point as well someday. So many creative ideas I want to pursue, so little time and energy to actually go after them.
Thank you so much for being so open with your music journey as an opera tenor. I feel like I could say a lot of things about this but I've never been a pro like you, I took some private lessons in classical singing way too late in my life cause when I wanted to do so in the first place at 18, my father gave me the speech of artists starve, study something else and you can do it later so I did... I've worked as an extra at an opera company for a few years and I've seen some of the things you say. The thing is that, I like singing in general, even when I had no training, and to sing different genres, but in classical I feel like it's never enough and that insecurity creeps in and it gets in the way, occupying space in your mind and rendering you an overthinking mess. There is this gate keeping and elitism on what is and isn't art in the classical music world and I hate it. I love music. Period. Beethoven would have laughed in the face of many a pompous people who pretend to know better about music these days. He'd be mortified to see the elitism in the classical scene, he who aligned with the ideals of an egalitarian society and the abolition of nobility. So yeah... I write fiction instead. I want to create. With classical singing I feel like I interpret but seldom create. And there are people telling me exactly how and when it should be done. When I began those private singing lessons I thought I wanted to pursuit this but soon I realized that it was not only too late but also that this scene could crush me pretty easily. I had a creative itch that now I scratch with writing. I applaud your courage to step away and reinvent yourself.
I also hated music and myself after I did piano competitions. It’s saddening to see that even people who make it through music school and professional performance careers still experience the same trauma. I’m glad you made the right choice for your mental health, Marco! I’m sure a career change was scary ❤
Marco, it doesn’t matter that you’re not singing anymore, you’re still an inspiration for where I want to go with my singing! I just started singing Canio and Calaf this year.
DAMMIT MARCO Again with the making me ugly cry Thank you for sharing your song (your life, spirit, thoughts, philosophy of life...and oh yeah also the literal songs)
Definitely an interesting video as I've heard the pasts of musicians and their experiences, but rarely ever the thoughts from operatic singers. And while I've never really gone out of my way to hint down opera, I do very much enjoy hearing it used in media to really empower scenes. Funny enough, my enjoyment of classical/orchestral music came from video games. As a wee lad Yoko Shimomura's work on KH drove me to search out more piano/violin work, which by nature led to classical works. Honestly one of my favorite uses was in Fate Grand Order for a final boss they had the games Antonio Salieri play his heart out. So the track of the fight was just Dies Irae. Even one of my favorite mobile rhythm games Deemo has a book completely devoted to classical piano works.
What a poignant story. Thank you for sharing your life experiences. I love that so many commentors are recognizing their own stories within yours; I hope they all fell less alone in their struggles whether those struggles are present tense or past tense. ngl - I teared up at about the 10 minute mark when your colleagues came in with the chorale bit. You deserved that! I'm glad you are here.
I used to think opera was dumb but one day I found a video of this guy reacting to a genshin song who happened to be an opera singer, and after keeping up with the channel for a while I think I've gained a much better appreciation for both opera and classical music, so thank you. also you should maybe get into metal next >.> theres some stuff out there I think you'd love :P
I'm grateful someone helped you appreciate Opera and classical music. I mean, I've been trying to instill an appreciation for the classics into you your whole life. 😂 I agree with you on the metal. There's definitely some good stuff.
Thanks for sharing- i'd heard you touch on this before. I didnt know you did voice acting now though! Thats cool- hope you tell us what parts you play. BTW is that just voice 'acting' or do you also do singing for video game music? seems like an obvious thing you could move into- and id guess since you dont perform live and can do multiple takes etc it would be a lot less stressful than stage performing.
Thank you very much for your profound insights, not only into the music industry but also regarding your personal struggles in the past and the experiences you've gained over the years. The argument about wanting to be recognized and be good enough for others or someone else, I believe, resonates with many people. Thank you for this significant video with a very personal touch. I will definitely take something away from it for myself. P.S.: You sang amazingly, and I always enjoy the little singing moments in your videos. I savor these passages, often going back a bit in the video, closing my eyes for a moment to focus only on the singing and forget everything else, even if just for seconds.
Was never that into opera beyond the fact I can always appreciate how incredibly talented the singers are. Turandot is one of the very few I am familiar, though, as I remembered watching the play itself on TV when I was much younger. Didn't quite appreciate it back then as I wasn't mature enough. At any rate, thanks for talking more about your days as an opera singer. I can only imagine what it feels like to have the joy sucked out of you because of the toxicity. What the opera world has lost is our gain though.
I feel you. I also completely quit music because of a bad teacher. Didn't listen to music anymore either. But it creeped back on me. Music is universal and eternal.
I don't really have stage fright. I always tell myself that I've already done this before and that worrying about stuff doesn't bring anything good. The main problem with being a musician for me right now is learning new peices in a short period of time. I'm in the middle of my first music college year as a jazz pianist, and I know that they took me in only because I was literally the only pianist this year. That put a lot of pressure on me. I was afraid of going on my piano classes, because I didn't want my teacher to be dissapointed. And my teacher is the best jazz pianist in the town, my mom used to go on his concerts! Now that mid-year exam is over and I passed almost perfectly, I have a little more confidence, but the expectations are EVEN HIGHER now. Whenever I start learning a new piece, it seems so hard, impossible even, that I wanna do literally anything else. And I need to learn 8 of them in a week that is left of my winter holidays. If any of you has gone through something similar, I'd really apprecciate if you shared your experiences.
Have you watched Wang Yujia? She had learned a good number of pieces while studying that helped her later as a performer. I think what you are doing now is preparing you to be a professional performer who needs to have enough different pieces to play proficiently on an annual basis. Say this year you play some pieces at a tour or show, the next year you need to have different ones, and the year after different, without running out of pieces to play for at least a few years.
There are many reasons why people decide to be a singer or dancer. I can only speak through the eyes of a writer. Sidenote, I don't write in English. At some point, I realized what that passion is that I have. I don't write for other people so they can enjoy a thrilling story, I don't write for myself so that I can feel complete. I simply write because I someone has to tell these stories, because I can tell these stories.
As a composer I'm not usually exposed to the same performance pressure as actual performes do but I have seen it a lot of times and it's really sad how a lot of times people quit or lose their passion for music because all of that stuff, even while they are still studying. Also I find that a lot of time some classical musicians treat music as something that only a few "intellectual" or "cultured" people can get instead of sharing and teaching how to apreciate it, that's something great about your channel, showing us all this stuff with passion and in a way that people can actually engage with.
A pretty interesting turn of events that last year I found your channel and now ,yesterday, to be precise, I saw my first opera in Beze’s Carmen…thank you.(coincidentally because I found about this particular opera from a book)
I feel you, man. Even though I work in the different field of programming, I know that burn out is definitely, painfully, real. You really love what you're doing, and you want nothing else than to do it all your life. But the circumstances around you really aren't conducive, and as I can see you might be a more intuitive and analyzing person more than a resulted oriented one, you start thinking and weighing if the thing you love doing is worth it compared to the cost of actually doing it. For me, it reached to the point and said, "Ah screw it, I'll see a therapist and get diagnosed as crazy, I don't care." Turned out to be a really good decision in my life. It's a shame to see the stigma surrounding personal counseling (and a bigger shame that I have been part of perpetuating that stigma), but I definitely can say that it has been of great help to me, as well as the support of friends and family. It seems that you're doing better, but I also know that these things don't magically disappear. Keep on trucking man, we're all rooting for you.
Back when I was a kid, I learned to sing certain songs like "Nations of The World" from Animaniacs and "One Winged Angel" from FF7 as a kind of stimming outlet to deal with my anxieties and calm myself down. In the years that followed, a lot of people my age have overheard me singing those songs and a lot of them have told me to sign up for "Idol"/"Talent." And I always refused. Partly because I had already seen those shows and realized that they were a part of a bullying culture that I had no interest in supporting, but also because, like I said, I sang to deal with my anxieties, not to put myself on a stage where they could get even worse... No-one seemed to understand what I was saying though, countering my arguments with how I was wasting my talents living in obscurity and how wealth and celebrity was the most important things in the world anyway, so I was prioritizing wrong... Well, I'm happy with the choices I made: Whether I was drawing or singing, it was for myself alone that I did those things. I've never intended to put my art up in a gallery or sing on a stage, and I think my life became better for it... And hearing stories like yours, and Bo Burnham's, and REN's, I feel even more so like I've made the right choices.
I pursued a voice performance degree, too (went on to a master's in conducting), but my skills never reached the point that I could become a professional opera singer. Looking back now, that may have been a good thing. Prior to college, I never sang outside of the shower or casually with friends who played instruments. The only reason I wanted to get a music degree was because I love music and I honestly couldn't see myself doing anything else at college. I had a moment going over the majors and thinking, "None of this appeals to me; I couldn't see myself doing this my whole life." That and I felt seriously blocked by any math-related, since I'm horrible at it. In the end, I got my bachelor's and master's, never became an especially good classical singer, but I changed fields anyway and am now in tech--maybe the one other thing I could imagine doing but didn't think I could on account of... math. lol As for anxiety, imagine being someone with no voice training or formal music knowledge going into a music department audition to enter the bachelor's program... The orchestral professor even mocked me in the middle of it. I don't know what gas I was juiced up on at the time, but I can't imagine having those balls again...
Wanda Król Sir Marco piękna muzyka to moje życie kocham piękne piosenki operowe i inne piękne piosenki dziękuję za tak obszerne wiadomość które słucham dziękuje pozdrawiam z Poland dziękuję pięknie 💔❤🕊🌲🕊🌹🌹🌹🕊🌏
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I've never thought that opera performers are under such huge pressure. Would you say it was a toxic environment?
I feel so seen through this video. After going through 4.5 years of college to be a music educator, only to loathe the lessons and the recitals and the people around me who never appreciated the efforts, get a job at a school that didn't care for the arts at all and threatened to cut my band program on the regular, it's vindicating to see someone else as talented as you going through similar struggles. "Anything that moves you is worth experiencing." I need that framed, honestly.
I still love the joy of performance, the feeling of letting emotion out into the world through my instrument, and the joy of teaching, but the trauma left in me from past experiences is something I'm glad I don't experience alone.
I didn't like opera until I studied classics in college. Learning classical Greek and liberal arts made me capable of understanding classical arts including opera. But classics is not offered in most of the schools or colleges, except the established colleges where they have experienced scholars.
There is this show called Castlevania Nocturne with one character, Eduard, is an opera singer in the show. There's a song called Eduard's Lamento della Ninfa. Would love to hear your opinion on it! :D
I've never really appreciated opera singing before even while I listen to so much ost and I have a rather low voice for a woman so it always felt weird to sing and not being able to hit high notes like everyone else. but seeing opera singers sing so loudly and with a """""""strange""""""""" (basically not hiphop and the type of stuff you hear at the radio) voice hits different I don't really know why... almost gives me confidence to sing lol
Persistence is the key to winning. If you don't like a situation, just move to a different city and start again. It is better than just quit without giving yourself a 2nd chance.
Ah yes. The "I am not good enough" moment everyone in the art field goes through. And the thing is, you will never be good enough. And accepting that is so hard. There is a compromise and middle point where you can do what you love without the horror of it. Is less profitable and usually less professional. But end your day happier. Works for me.
These kinds of videos really speak to me on a personal level. When you sit down with us and walk through an experience or an idea on such a human level helps me put somethings in my own life into perspective and how it affects you now. The part when you were still self critical on that note you felt could've been just a bit better, or living for validation brings a lump into my throat that won't go away until tears begin to roll because I connect to that sentiment a bit more than I felt I have any right to. Anyway, that long preamble was simply to say thank you for everything, including this video.
Weirdly I've probably gained an appreciation of opera singing from your videos lol :>
Same honestly, I like music but never understood it fully. I still have tons more to learn, these videos are helping.
gonna be honest, pretty similar situation for me
Oh mate
As a singer myself I feel so much for you
I go back and forth on do I want to continue doing that stuff or not
'Cause on one hand I love this and, yes, I'm also live for the validation of the audience and my friends
But on the other hand I've lost joy, I've completely lost interest and I don't know what to do
So yeah
I feel ya
you'll know. you'll know.
@@MarcoMeatball honestly I don't think so)
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it means so much to me. I also played classical music for around ten years, though I was a violinist since I was 9 years old until 2020. For a long time I knew I didn't enjoy playing in front of others, it caused me so much stage fright and anxiety that I would almost pass out, but I did enjoy the orchestra. Mainly because I wasn't alone and no one would listen to me only, but now I realize that I also lived for the applause, for the validation of the audience. But when that disappeared during Covid, everything went downhill. My mental health declined because I had to send recordings of myself playing every week; it was like torture, to the point where I even started causing physical pain to myself. That, added to the constant fact that, no matter how much I practiced, I never improved in my classes and in my playing in general, also that I would always make the same old mistakes during concerts even after dozens of rehearsals and personal practice, and an incident with the orchestra that told me very clearly how replaceable I was for them, it broke me. I ended up despising classical music, so much so that I couldn't stand listening to someone else playing the violin. Realizing that I didn't want to play anymore was a very dark time for me, because it was like losing a part of myself, of my identity, because I had been doing it for so long and since I was very young.
Knowing what you went through has helped me feel less alone. People around me dismiss so much the mental health factor of why I left the violin, but your story proves that what I went through is real, and valid, and that I'm not the only one. Your channel has also helped me make peace with classical music and start loving it again, rediscovering why I got into it in the first place; the magic and the beauty of it. It's so valuable.
I don't know if you, or anyone, is going to read this, but thank you, Marco. Thank you so much for being such an inspiration. I really hope your aspirations and wishes come true, and I wish you live a happy, fulfilling life. 🤍
this means so much to me. So much to me.
@@MarcoMeatball 🥹 I'm so glad. I was so lucky to discover your channel. Thank you for everything.
Disgusting that they called you replaceable. This sounds so rough, and I’m so glad you made the decision to save yourself and your mental health! I hope music becomes less painful for you ❤
If you feel physical pain helps with stress and anxiety, you might be right. Try acupuncture, where a little bit physical pain brings physical and metal health. It takes a few sessions, but the result will be amazing. I do it myself so I know.
Having a passion and doing it as a career are two different experiences, I completely understand what you went through. I'm in my 30s now with an unrelated day job, and I'm able to finally go back to playing for my own enjoyment. Take care of yourself and one day you will find your love for the instrument again, but give yourself time to heal ❤
Lifelong (mostly-unpaid) concert Tenor here with nearly 21 years of performance experience--vocal scholarships paid for the majority of my tuition in university.
I have an unending level of respect for performers like yourself, Marco--many of us have fallen into the applause trap, many never come out of it. You making the decision to walk away is admirable beyond measure. Music should enhance our lives, not encumber them--when the joy leaves, sometimes all you can do is bow and exit stage right (or left if you're odd like me).
It brings me infinite joy that you have found something in this channel and community that you enjoy--our lives are made better by your insights and I hope that we, as a community, have and can continue to be a positive force for you.
Unoriginal idea here, as it's been done before (especially with the shanty craze a few years back), but what about a community ensemble project where we come together with you to perform pieces from these games you've exposed so many to?
what a really good idea. Might also be a way for Marco to kickstart even some UA-cam careers. You can never have enough music channels that obey the classical rules of music.
Beautiful video and beautiful performance, Marco.
For what its worth, I'm glad you took the journey you did cause we would probably not have your channel otherwise, and your videos are always a highlight of my days.
Wishing you all the success!
You are a talented and super cool person, dude. You deserve to be proud of being you, regardless of what you do now.
Video games totally made me fall in love with classical/orchestral music. I remember telling people when I was young, "oh I like classical music". One guy called me a liar. Umm... I am a gamer.... Baldur's Gate, Never Winter Nights, every other clip in those games is a bombastic orchestral feast for the ears. Arcanum was composed by a string quartet and I had that OST on repeat while studying. Yeah, I love classical music. The guy who called me a liar is what I would call an uncultured gaming swine. 😂
I have a similar experience with classical music in the orchestra sense :>. I play classical guitar and I had sorta separated myself from this side of classical music but sci-fi adventure and fps games brought me back into how fascinating orchestra music is :>.
amen! and thank you.
It was really interesting hearing about your journey. Thank you. ❤️ I am glad that you got out of something you did not want!
I'm not the singer. I'm the theatre brat child of the singer who went on to become a a vocal instructor.
Everything you're talking about is something I've seen and has been impressed to me. It is what it is to be an entertainer-we are all Pagliacci who is most likely the single most relatable character across all of opera to the modern man, even if most modern men don't realize it. Singing never interested me outside of my connection to it-for me, the art is too ephemeral. A performance exists in that moment, and even though it may be recorded, that moment is something that is there and then gone forever.
Having lived with performers for my entire life, what keeps them going through all the hardships seems to be an intense addiction to those moments on stage. They can't live without getting out there and performing, letting it all out. Even when they are terrified-especially when they are terrified. Performers simply MUST.
I'm a digital illustrator and all around media guy myself. I make images and yearn for them to be seen of course... but even if only 2-10 people ever see them, I make them anyways. Because it's not about the viewer, it's about this thing inside of me that must be expressed and I will express it the best I know how. It's our grand blessing and eternal curse.
I really appreciate this video. I'm a senior in undergrad also getting my degree in voice but now with grad school auditions around the corner I've realized that I'm not happy singing anymore, partially because I'm feeling similar things to what you said in the video. I never know if I'm good enough or if I have promise, not to mention the financial burden that comes with this career. I feel so burnt out trying to put my all into this career for what seems to be no return. I feel like I'm too far in now to give up and do something else, I don't even know how to do something else. I thought I'd just leave this here, I'm so glad knowing I'm not the only one who feels this but I don't know what to do with myself now.
Thanks so much for your vulnerability. While it oftentimes feels insurmountable to shift the culture of classical music, those of us who aren’t financially reliant on it can be more open about the trauma, anxiety and pain that comes with being in this classical music ecosystem.
Thank you again for sharing. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Needed to hear this right now❤️❤️
In my architecture school, many many students dropped out because they didn't like the scolding of the teachers, and the pressure of presentation when you are publicly humiliated by reviewers. Once graduated from school, you have to work for low wage as an apprentice for years, meanwhile your friends are getting married and buying a house. So again many would-be architects changed career.
Those who made it at the end to become a professional architect will be rewarded with a sense of achievement and respect from new clients, if they never gave up and kept heart.
Art is a long and lonely journey, most without much acknowledgement, until the point you are a business owner and deal with other business people who are also looking for people like you to work with.
9:47 Such a beautiful touching moment..I really felt that happiness with that huge smile when the colleagues started the surprise chorus..almost brought me to tears
Your speaking voice really made me think you're baritone, and behold you're indeed a tenor, though on the more heavy side. Thanks for the heartfelt video.
As a former stage actor myself, this video hits hard, both about the immense thrill and joy of the magic moments, and all the dark bits that surrounds those good bits. Thank you for openly sharing some of your journey.
10:25, I got chills when you came in after the chorus! Absolutely beautiful voice
Funny how it always takes quite a good amount of time until we eventually realize "the only way to win the game is to not play it anymore", and it almost always involves getting burned out and somewhat psychologically scarred to an extent. Wish it weren't that way, but it is *oh-so-liberating* when you finally break out of that vicious cycle.
I'm happy for you my dude. Hope I can reach that point as well someday. So many creative ideas I want to pursue, so little time and energy to actually go after them.
Thank you so much for being so open with your music journey as an opera tenor. I feel like I could say a lot of things about this but I've never been a pro like you, I took some private lessons in classical singing way too late in my life cause when I wanted to do so in the first place at 18, my father gave me the speech of artists starve, study something else and you can do it later so I did... I've worked as an extra at an opera company for a few years and I've seen some of the things you say. The thing is that, I like singing in general, even when I had no training, and to sing different genres, but in classical I feel like it's never enough and that insecurity creeps in and it gets in the way, occupying space in your mind and rendering you an overthinking mess. There is this gate keeping and elitism on what is and isn't art in the classical music world and I hate it. I love music. Period. Beethoven would have laughed in the face of many a pompous people who pretend to know better about music these days. He'd be mortified to see the elitism in the classical scene, he who aligned with the ideals of an egalitarian society and the abolition of nobility. So yeah...
I write fiction instead. I want to create. With classical singing I feel like I interpret but seldom create. And there are people telling me exactly how and when it should be done. When I began those private singing lessons I thought I wanted to pursuit this but soon I realized that it was not only too late but also that this scene could crush me pretty easily. I had a creative itch that now I scratch with writing.
I applaud your courage to step away and reinvent yourself.
I also hated music and myself after I did piano competitions. It’s saddening to see that even people who make it through music school and professional performance careers still experience the same trauma. I’m glad you made the right choice for your mental health, Marco! I’m sure a career change was scary ❤
Marco, it doesn’t matter that you’re not singing anymore, you’re still an inspiration for where I want to go with my singing! I just started singing Canio and Calaf this year.
that was so nice of your colleagues! what a farewell gift 💝
i really felt that unity in their singing of that section
DAMMIT MARCO
Again with the making me ugly cry
Thank you for sharing your song (your life, spirit, thoughts, philosophy of life...and oh yeah also the literal songs)
Definitely an interesting video as I've heard the pasts of musicians and their experiences, but rarely ever the thoughts from operatic singers. And while I've never really gone out of my way to hint down opera, I do very much enjoy hearing it used in media to really empower scenes.
Funny enough, my enjoyment of classical/orchestral music came from video games. As a wee lad Yoko Shimomura's work on KH drove me to search out more piano/violin work, which by nature led to classical works. Honestly one of my favorite uses was in Fate Grand Order for a final boss they had the games Antonio Salieri play his heart out. So the track of the fight was just Dies Irae. Even one of my favorite mobile rhythm games Deemo has a book completely devoted to classical piano works.
What a poignant story. Thank you for sharing your life experiences. I love that so many commentors are recognizing their own stories within yours; I hope they all fell less alone in their struggles whether those struggles are present tense or past tense. ngl - I teared up at about the 10 minute mark when your colleagues came in with the chorale bit. You deserved that! I'm glad you are here.
Jesus Christ, what a beautiful voice Marco, proud of you and being so open about your journey!
Those last few notes gave me chills 11:27
I used to think opera was dumb but one day I found a video of this guy reacting to a genshin song who happened to be an opera singer, and after keeping up with the channel for a while I think I've gained a much better appreciation for both opera and classical music, so thank you.
also you should maybe get into metal next >.> theres some stuff out there I think you'd love :P
I'm grateful someone helped you appreciate Opera and classical music. I mean, I've been trying to instill an appreciation for the classics into you your whole life. 😂
I agree with you on the metal. There's definitely some good stuff.
Well metal for the most part does follow the classical ruleset. The Japanese still marry rock & classical music to this day with great success.
Congratulations for making it this far!
how about we have people choose a good song from some video game and you sing it for us?
Sogno Di volare Civ 6 main theme ? This is glorious.
Would love to hear Marco sing Aura's theme from .hack
I would love to hear him sing a video game song, but only if he enjoys it without any pressure.
Thanks for sharing- i'd heard you touch on this before. I didnt know you did voice acting now though! Thats cool- hope you tell us what parts you play. BTW is that just voice 'acting' or do you also do singing for video game music? seems like an obvious thing you could move into- and id guess since you dont perform live and can do multiple takes etc it would be a lot less stressful than stage performing.
a bit of both! And yes big role announcement soon actually :0
Yes! I’ve been waiting for this video since the portal 2 streams. Awesome commentary as always Marco, much love man!
I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your opera career and I sincerely hope it doesn't take away from your love of music!
Thank you very much for your profound insights, not only into the music industry but also regarding your personal struggles in the past and the experiences you've gained over the years. The argument about wanting to be recognized and be good enough for others or someone else, I believe, resonates with many people. Thank you for this significant video with a very personal touch. I will definitely take something away from it for myself.
P.S.: You sang amazingly, and I always enjoy the little singing moments in your videos. I savor these passages, often going back a bit in the video, closing my eyes for a moment to focus only on the singing and forget everything else, even if just for seconds.
Was never that into opera beyond the fact I can always appreciate how incredibly talented the singers are. Turandot is one of the very few I am familiar, though, as I remembered watching the play itself on TV when I was much younger. Didn't quite appreciate it back then as I wasn't mature enough.
At any rate, thanks for talking more about your days as an opera singer. I can only imagine what it feels like to have the joy sucked out of you because of the toxicity. What the opera world has lost is our gain though.
I feel you. I also completely quit music because of a bad teacher. Didn't listen to music anymore either. But it creeped back on me. Music is universal and eternal.
I don't really have stage fright. I always tell myself that I've already done this before and that worrying about stuff doesn't bring anything good.
The main problem with being a musician for me right now is learning new peices in a short period of time. I'm in the middle of my first music college year as a jazz pianist, and I know that they took me in only because I was literally the only pianist this year. That put a lot of pressure on me. I was afraid of going on my piano classes, because I didn't want my teacher to be dissapointed. And my teacher is the best jazz pianist in the town, my mom used to go on his concerts! Now that mid-year exam is over and I passed almost perfectly, I have a little more confidence, but the expectations are EVEN HIGHER now. Whenever I start learning a new piece, it seems so hard, impossible even, that I wanna do literally anything else. And I need to learn 8 of them in a week that is left of my winter holidays.
If any of you has gone through something similar, I'd really apprecciate if you shared your experiences.
Have you watched Wang Yujia? She had learned a good number of pieces while studying that helped her later as a performer. I think what you are doing now is preparing you to be a professional performer who needs to have enough different pieces to play proficiently on an annual basis.
Say this year you play some pieces at a tour or show, the next year you need to have different ones, and the year after different, without running out of pieces to play for at least a few years.
@@alanOHALAN thank you. You're right, it is important, and no matter how hard it is, future me will thank current me for doing it.
There are many reasons why people decide to be a singer or dancer. I can only speak through the eyes of a writer. Sidenote, I don't write in English.
At some point, I realized what that passion is that I have. I don't write for other people so they can enjoy a thrilling story, I don't write for myself so that I can feel complete. I simply write because I someone has to tell these stories, because I can tell these stories.
For what it’s worth Marco you are an excellent natural talent. The people currently at the head of the Opera world will not be there forever.
As a composer I'm not usually exposed to the same performance pressure as actual performes do but I have seen it a lot of times and it's really sad how a lot of times people quit or lose their passion for music because all of that stuff, even while they are still studying. Also I find that a lot of time some classical musicians treat music as something that only a few "intellectual" or "cultured" people can get instead of sharing and teaching how to apreciate it, that's something great about your channel, showing us all this stuff with passion and in a way that people can actually engage with.
A pretty interesting turn of events that last year I found your channel and now ,yesterday, to be precise, I saw my first opera in Beze’s Carmen…thank you.(coincidentally because I found about this particular opera from a book)
I feel you, man. Even though I work in the different field of programming, I know that burn out is definitely, painfully, real. You really love what you're doing, and you want nothing else than to do it all your life. But the circumstances around you really aren't conducive, and as I can see you might be a more intuitive and analyzing person more than a resulted oriented one, you start thinking and weighing if the thing you love doing is worth it compared to the cost of actually doing it.
For me, it reached to the point and said, "Ah screw it, I'll see a therapist and get diagnosed as crazy, I don't care." Turned out to be a really good decision in my life. It's a shame to see the stigma surrounding personal counseling (and a bigger shame that I have been part of perpetuating that stigma), but I definitely can say that it has been of great help to me, as well as the support of friends and family.
It seems that you're doing better, but I also know that these things don't magically disappear. Keep on trucking man, we're all rooting for you.
Thanks for sharing ❤️
Thank you for the video. 🙂👍
I would love to see you go over the soundtrack of the Tales series. Specifically Abyss, Symphonia and Vesperia.
I played Tales of Arise but I’ve been meaning to play Vesperia, I don’t know much on the others. Which one would you recommend for starters?
I love your voice and it was interesting to hear a bit of your perspective. ❤
Thank you so much!
Back when I was a kid, I learned to sing certain songs like "Nations of The World" from Animaniacs and "One Winged Angel" from FF7 as a kind of stimming outlet to deal with my anxieties and calm myself down. In the years that followed, a lot of people my age have overheard me singing those songs and a lot of them have told me to sign up for "Idol"/"Talent." And I always refused. Partly because I had already seen those shows and realized that they were a part of a bullying culture that I had no interest in supporting, but also because, like I said, I sang to deal with my anxieties, not to put myself on a stage where they could get even worse... No-one seemed to understand what I was saying though, countering my arguments with how I was wasting my talents living in obscurity and how wealth and celebrity was the most important things in the world anyway, so I was prioritizing wrong... Well, I'm happy with the choices I made: Whether I was drawing or singing, it was for myself alone that I did those things. I've never intended to put my art up in a gallery or sing on a stage, and I think my life became better for it... And hearing stories like yours, and Bo Burnham's, and REN's, I feel even more so like I've made the right choices.
I pursued a voice performance degree, too (went on to a master's in conducting), but my skills never reached the point that I could become a professional opera singer. Looking back now, that may have been a good thing. Prior to college, I never sang outside of the shower or casually with friends who played instruments. The only reason I wanted to get a music degree was because I love music and I honestly couldn't see myself doing anything else at college. I had a moment going over the majors and thinking, "None of this appeals to me; I couldn't see myself doing this my whole life." That and I felt seriously blocked by any math-related, since I'm horrible at it.
In the end, I got my bachelor's and master's, never became an especially good classical singer, but I changed fields anyway and am now in tech--maybe the one other thing I could imagine doing but didn't think I could on account of... math. lol
As for anxiety, imagine being someone with no voice training or formal music knowledge going into a music department audition to enter the bachelor's program... The orchestral professor even mocked me in the middle of it. I don't know what gas I was juiced up on at the time, but I can't imagine having those balls again...
Thanks for sharing - a lot of friends are in tech after opera!
Wanda Król Sir Marco piękna muzyka to moje życie kocham piękne piosenki operowe i inne piękne piosenki dziękuję za tak obszerne wiadomość które słucham dziękuje pozdrawiam z Poland dziękuję pięknie 💔❤🕊🌲🕊🌹🌹🌹🕊🌏
listening to that performace was incredible, loved it. Kind of off topic to the video, but it was so impressive had to mention.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I've never thought that opera performers are under such huge pressure. Would you say it was a toxic environment?
I feel so seen through this video. After going through 4.5 years of college to be a music educator, only to loathe the lessons and the recitals and the people around me who never appreciated the efforts, get a job at a school that didn't care for the arts at all and threatened to cut my band program on the regular, it's vindicating to see someone else as talented as you going through similar struggles.
"Anything that moves you is worth experiencing." I need that framed, honestly.
I still love the joy of performance, the feeling of letting emotion out into the world through my instrument, and the joy of teaching, but the trauma left in me from past experiences is something I'm glad I don't experience alone.
I didn't like opera until I studied classics in college. Learning classical Greek and liberal arts made me capable of understanding classical arts including opera.
But classics is not offered in most of the schools or colleges, except the established colleges where they have experienced scholars.
After a time sing9ng myself. voice training in my teens. IT stopped being fun and it was so lonely.
There is this show called Castlevania Nocturne with one character, Eduard, is an opera singer in the show. There's a song called Eduard's Lamento della Ninfa. Would love to hear your opinion on it! :D
I've never really appreciated opera singing before even while I listen to so much ost and I have a rather low voice for a woman so it always felt weird to sing and not being able to hit high notes like everyone else. but seeing opera singers sing so loudly and with a """""""strange""""""""" (basically not hiphop and the type of stuff you hear at the radio) voice hits different I don't really know why... almost gives me confidence to sing lol
Persistence is the key to winning. If you don't like a situation, just move to a different city and start again. It is better than just quit without giving yourself a 2nd chance.
But I did win
Have you ever done Vesti la Giubba?
Ah yes.
The "I am not good enough" moment everyone in the art field goes through.
And the thing is, you will never be good enough. And accepting that is so hard.
There is a compromise and middle point where you can do what you love without the horror of it.
Is less profitable and usually less professional. But end your day happier.
Works for me.
These kinds of videos really speak to me on a personal level. When you sit down with us and walk through an experience or an idea on such a human level helps me put somethings in my own life into perspective and how it affects you now. The part when you were still self critical on that note you felt could've been just a bit better, or living for validation brings a lump into my throat that won't go away until tears begin to roll because I connect to that sentiment a bit more than I felt I have any right to. Anyway, that long preamble was simply to say thank you for everything, including this video.