My eldest child told me that they are non-binary at Christmas time. I’ve been watching you for a year now while I figured out my sexuality. So grateful for your videos. I’d love to hear more about non-binary ness to be able to properly support my teen xx
I'm an amab non binary guy but for everyone else I'm just a cisman. That's why I tend to forget it. But I found out I'm agender some months ago. Welcome to the enby club! :)
That`s great to hear. I could relate to all the stuff about the youtube rabbithole. And I have been watching trans and non-binary youtubers content for years before I realized that I am non-binary myself, either...I am always glad to hear that it was similiar for other people. I am looking forward to your future content about that topic. Good luck with your journey!
well the title's got me excited! love to see content from queer people and seeing people on their journey to identifying as nonbinary makes me feel less alone 💜
Weirdly, now that I've pulled out of the "oh god what am I" rabbit hole and accepted that I'm nonbinary and I don't need a more specific label than that, and also that it will take a lot more experimentation before I can really work out where I sit on that gender spectrum, I suddenly find this video (though I was already subscribed), in which you seem to have the closest experience to me out of anyone I've watched videos from. And yet you're the only one who has addressed the rabbit hole and feeling a need to find someone exactly like you. I feel like, along with that similar experience, we have a very similar gender presentation too. Idk I just thought it was cool
omg that's so fun!! I'm glad you're feeling more comfy. I wish more people mentioned that feeling of wanting to find a story that lines up. Thank you for watching and subscribing!
Loved the video 😊 I think it would be really cool to know about the things you learned about in your class relating to anthropology and gender, specially since that type of knowledge is usually not the really accessible to everyone.
This is a nice place to be 😊 Your videos have helped me a lot and it’s so funny how I’m experiencing the same dilemma now. Before, I was struggling on whether I was Bi, which evolved to thinking I may be lesbian, and then I fell back to the Bi/Queer label. Gender identity decided to knock on my door recently and now, I started questioning if I was non-binary. It’s amazing how everything ping-pongs because of how interconnected sexuality and gender is. Thank you so much for sharing your story! Glad I’m not the only one desperately looking for an nb story that aligns with mine perfectly 😭
I actually did find you during another trip down the rabbit hole this past weekend… It was terrifying to be back there after knowing who I was for well over a decade. It was actually the previous “I’m not coming out again” video that I found most helpful as it was really the first time I was told it was okay to question again, that it didn’t invalidate the 15 years I’d spent with one identity to be questioning again. In short; you, perhaps inadvertently, told me the only thing “wrong” with me as I questioned everything again is that I was human… lol. Edited for clarity
I'm so glad my video/s have been helpful!!! Change the only thing we can count on and if that's to do with our identity, how we feel and the words we use about ourselves, that's more than ok. I'm sending good vibes!!!
so glad you’re back! since ur last video i realized my own gender identity too! (genderqueer/genderfluid). Interestingly, for me my attraction to men is very tied with my gender. before realizing i’m genderqueer i always doubted whether i like men or not, but now sexuality questioning stopped(i’m so happy like omg). honestly whenyou cut your hair i felt it coming. love ur videos 💜 p.s. i think video about some gender theory would be nice, maybe what’s “gender” for you or smth
You look amazing!!! I've been questioning my identity recently. Is nice to remember I don't have to fit in a box :) Still questioning though (this thing called gender is very fluid)
TY, I love it when people just spend almost half the video giving disclaimers and putting things in context and explaining how things are complex and nuanced
I first came to your channel when you made the video about asexuality and I've liked your content since. Got really happy when I saw the title. I also felt really separate from those who are non-binary, just an outsider looking in (and that when I was around others and we all thought I was a girl, I was putting on an inauthentic version of myself). Now I'm in and I'm happy. Welcome to the enby fam.
a sociology of gender class was what set off my queer awakening & so i felt it in my soul when you said "apparently I like to read judith butler and make myself suffer" bc SAME
3:50 I had THAT EXACT EXPERIENCE searching but for my sexuality not my gender. I've adopted demigirl for my gender to help describe my flux between womanhood and agender-with-masculine-vibes-but-definitely-not-a-man. And I've accepted I'm a lesbian and have a queer platonic relationship with my male fiance. I use the term queer/wlw when talking to others because I respect that my relationship looks weird and my make other lesbians uncomfortable. I'm not in the least bit surprised you are nonbinary. You definitely give off they/them vibes. Also, as someone with nearly the same haircut, if you want to upkeep your hair between trims and are afraid of just getting some clippers yourself you can just take a pair of scissors to the edges of the hair cut. I fold down my ear and line the scissors along my hairline and do a little snip, then follow the hairline around the back of my head and repeat on the other side. It's a quick, basically fool proof way to keep the shaved part looking clean and nice and not growing over your ears.
Haha thank you!! I will keep the hair tip în mind. And go you for finding a relationship configuration that makes you happy even though not everyone will get it :)))
also i think it’s a nice place to share my views on gender. i really don’t know what it is, it’s a feeling, sometimes i feel connected to the term “woman”, i’m okay with being seen as one, other times i hate everything gendered and become really self conscious about gender stuff. usually i feel bigender, i’m connected to both and can’t see the difference really one day i decided to ask my cis friends how do they feel about their gender and half of them said that they can’t describe what a”woman/girl” is because anyone can love pink/wear dresses/be feminine and so on, so they just are ok with being seen as women and see identity as connection to other women. the other half named stereotypes. personally, i think the concept of two genders is outdated. previously it showed your social status/ what you can and can’t do, your role in society. now the world agrees that women can do everything men can do, like whatever men do and visa versa. so, that’s what we fight for now. but in the future, when the fight over equal rights is overl, what’s there left? it only sorts bodies into social roles and stereotypes which is hella weird. i believe that in the world there gender is optional all people would live easier. coz some label doesn’t define ur interests/apperance and life path. i honestly don’t know gended
Solution to you hair being the wrong length- buy a hair shaver with guards and learn to do your short sides, and go to the barber/hairdresser in between when the top gets too long! It’s a game changer for my haircut looking tidy most of the time
I relate so much to your experience. I also started questioning my gender last autumn, but my real turning point was watching the 1998 Edge Of Seventeen and discovering that I wanted to *be* Eric (& then fell into the nb UA-cam/reddit/tumblr rabbit hole). I also made (and continue to make) myself suffer with Judith Butler and companions 🥰 yay to educating yourself outside of uni
So happy for you. What book Judith butler book did you read, or any other book on gender? I just read Beyond the Binary by Alok Menon and it was fab. I’m interested in learning more about the gender and it’s relation to culture and psychology.
Ooh Alok is so cool! I have read parts of Gender Trouble by Butler (it's very very challenging and I don't reckon I'll ever do it cover to cover!) plus some articles I was given for uni. Other than that just articles and casual content I found online :))))
YESS WELCOME TO THE CLUB i had a feeling u were trans/nb - i dont mean that in a rude way its just so funny to notice little hints that ppl are not cis bc its like that was literally me lmao i just love when that happens and very relatable vid as always - especially how scary it is dear god bc its like am i gonna have to pay for these expensive surgeries now or how difficult it could be to get hrt etc - completely diff from realizing ur gay but also somehow at the same time horrible deja vu to when i was like 14 lmao and also not talking to anyone irl for months lol dw i did the exact same thing
@@ORGSE idk i dont remember tbh lol like cutting ur hair obv, or that they started dating a trans guy- not that thats a sign but i mean its like u might ~discover~ more things ab urself thats something ive heard happen a LOT even for me, like 90% of my 'female' friends have ended up being trans/nb and i was always like ~haha so weird~ also theres the whole "gender envy" trend and i know trans ppl complain ab cis ppl saying that but im always like..are they cis tho... hmm idk lmao like for me in hs i wanted to look like 80s goth boys SO BAD so that was pretty suspicous looking back anyway idk if that was helpful lol
oh also same thing as how gay ppl say before they even realized they cared a little too much ab gay rights, same thing for trans ppl they mentioned that in the vid and i definitely did that too lmao
Congrats on coming out ! It's great you're back and well . Amazing you're now non binary. I want to be non binary too. Being cis is quite plain now and last season:/
Thank you! I just want to clarify that being non-binary and/or trans is not trend and you cannot choose your gender. I have always been non-binary, I just learnt how to express it. I hope that makes sense!
My eldest child told me that they are non-binary at Christmas time. I’ve been watching you for a year now while I figured out my sexuality. So grateful for your videos. I’d love to hear more about non-binary ness to be able to properly support my teen xx
wow! I'm so glad my videos have helped a little. I will be sure to make some more videos about non-binary-ness!
I'm an amab non binary guy but for everyone else I'm just a cisman. That's why I tend to forget it. But I found out I'm agender some months ago. Welcome to the enby club! :)
Enby gang! Woot, woot!
That`s great to hear. I could relate to all the stuff about the youtube rabbithole. And I have been watching trans and non-binary youtubers content for years before I realized that I am non-binary myself, either...I am always glad to hear that it was similiar for other people.
I am looking forward to your future content about that topic. Good luck with your journey!
Thank you!!! I really appreciate you watching 🥰
well the title's got me excited! love to see content from queer people and seeing people on their journey to identifying as nonbinary makes me feel less alone 💜
I also just switched to they/them pronouns tooooo thx for sharing your story Tallulah 🥺
I'm so happy for you!! Thank you for watching pal 🥰
Weirdly, now that I've pulled out of the "oh god what am I" rabbit hole and accepted that I'm nonbinary and I don't need a more specific label than that, and also that it will take a lot more experimentation before I can really work out where I sit on that gender spectrum, I suddenly find this video (though I was already subscribed), in which you seem to have the closest experience to me out of anyone I've watched videos from. And yet you're the only one who has addressed the rabbit hole and feeling a need to find someone exactly like you. I feel like, along with that similar experience, we have a very similar gender presentation too. Idk I just thought it was cool
omg that's so fun!! I'm glad you're feeling more comfy. I wish more people mentioned that feeling of wanting to find a story that lines up. Thank you for watching and subscribing!
Wow I was watching your old videos while questioning if I’m non-binary and I get this notification that’s wild congrats 🎉
Woo! What a fun coincidence! Thank you for watching!
Glad that you back and are well 😊
Thank you!!
Loved the video 😊 I think it would be really cool to know about the things you learned about in your class relating to anthropology and gender, specially since that type of knowledge is usually not the really accessible to everyone.
I would love to make an accessible gender theory video/series!! Thank you for the idea!!!
This is a nice place to be 😊 Your videos have helped me a lot and it’s so funny how I’m experiencing the same dilemma now. Before, I was struggling on whether I was Bi, which evolved to thinking I may be lesbian, and then I fell back to the Bi/Queer label. Gender identity decided to knock on my door recently and now, I started questioning if I was non-binary. It’s amazing how everything ping-pongs because of how interconnected sexuality and gender is. Thank you so much for sharing your story! Glad I’m not the only one desperately looking for an nb story that aligns with mine perfectly 😭
I'm so so happy you enjoyed the video and related! I hope your journey is a peaceful one, friend!
Wake up babe, new Tallulah coming out video just dropped (I kid, happy for you!)
I actually did find you during another trip down the rabbit hole this past weekend… It was terrifying to be back there after knowing who I was for well over a decade. It was actually the previous “I’m not coming out again” video that I found most helpful as it was really the first time I was told it was okay to question again, that it didn’t invalidate the 15 years I’d spent with one identity to be questioning again. In short; you, perhaps inadvertently, told me the only thing “wrong” with me as
I questioned everything again is that I was human… lol.
Edited for clarity
I'm so glad my video/s have been helpful!!! Change the only thing we can count on and if that's to do with our identity, how we feel and the words we use about ourselves, that's more than ok. I'm sending good vibes!!!
so glad you’re back! since ur last video i realized my own gender identity too! (genderqueer/genderfluid). Interestingly, for me my attraction to men is very tied with my gender. before realizing i’m genderqueer i always doubted whether i like men or not, but now sexuality questioning stopped(i’m so happy like omg). honestly whenyou cut your hair i felt it coming. love ur videos 💜
p.s. i think video about some gender theory would be nice, maybe what’s “gender” for you or smth
Omg I Def agree about attraction to men! Mine became more solid and comfortable when I realised my gender. I would love to make a gender theory vid!
You look amazing!!!
I've been questioning my identity recently. Is nice to remember I don't have to fit in a box :)
Still questioning though (this thing called gender is very fluid)
Thank you!! You deffo don't need to fit into a box 🥰
Hi I'm in a gender identity UA-cam spiral 😂 you caught me 😂
Omg hi!!! Welcome pal ❤️
TY, I love it when people just spend almost half the video giving disclaimers and putting things in context and explaining how things are complex and nuanced
Haha I hate that it takes so long but it feels important!!!
I first came to your channel when you made the video about asexuality and I've liked your content since. Got really happy when I saw the title. I also felt really separate from those who are non-binary, just an outsider looking in (and that when I was around others and we all thought I was a girl, I was putting on an inauthentic version of myself). Now I'm in and I'm happy. Welcome to the enby fam.
thank you so much!!!!
Welcome to the Nonbinary Mimery uwu
And congratulations on the lovely self discovery 🌺
Woo!! Thank you!
a sociology of gender class was what set off my queer awakening & so i felt it in my soul when you said "apparently I like to read judith butler and make myself suffer" bc SAME
Omg great minds!!
3:50 I had THAT EXACT EXPERIENCE searching but for my sexuality not my gender. I've adopted demigirl for my gender to help describe my flux between womanhood and agender-with-masculine-vibes-but-definitely-not-a-man. And I've accepted I'm a lesbian and have a queer platonic relationship with my male fiance. I use the term queer/wlw when talking to others because I respect that my relationship looks weird and my make other lesbians uncomfortable.
I'm not in the least bit surprised you are nonbinary. You definitely give off they/them vibes.
Also, as someone with nearly the same haircut, if you want to upkeep your hair between trims and are afraid of just getting some clippers yourself you can just take a pair of scissors to the edges of the hair cut. I fold down my ear and line the scissors along my hairline and do a little snip, then follow the hairline around the back of my head and repeat on the other side. It's a quick, basically fool proof way to keep the shaved part looking clean and nice and not growing over your ears.
Haha thank you!! I will keep the hair tip în mind. And go you for finding a relationship configuration that makes you happy even though not everyone will get it :)))
also i think it’s a nice place to share my views on gender.
i really don’t know what it is, it’s a feeling, sometimes i feel connected to the term “woman”, i’m okay with being seen as one, other times i hate everything gendered and become really self conscious about gender stuff. usually i feel bigender, i’m connected to both and can’t see the difference really
one day i decided to ask my cis friends how do they feel about their gender and half of them said that they can’t describe what a”woman/girl” is because anyone can love pink/wear dresses/be feminine and so on, so they just are ok with being seen as women and see identity as connection to other women. the other half named stereotypes.
personally, i think the concept of two genders is outdated. previously it showed your social status/ what you can and can’t do, your role in society. now the world agrees that women can do everything men can do, like whatever men do and visa versa. so, that’s what we fight for now. but in the future, when the fight over equal rights is overl, what’s there left? it only sorts bodies into social roles and stereotypes which is hella weird.
i believe that in the world there gender is optional all people would live easier. coz some label doesn’t define ur interests/apperance and life path. i honestly don’t know gended
I agree!!!
Cool.
Solution to you hair being the wrong length- buy a hair shaver with guards and learn to do your short sides, and go to the barber/hairdresser in between when the top gets too long! It’s a game changer for my haircut looking tidy most of the time
I have clippers, I just need to get the courage up!! Thank you :)))
I relate so much to your experience. I also started questioning my gender last autumn, but my real turning point was watching the 1998 Edge Of Seventeen and discovering that I wanted to *be* Eric (& then fell into the nb UA-cam/reddit/tumblr rabbit hole). I also made (and continue to make) myself suffer with Judith Butler and companions 🥰 yay to educating yourself outside of uni
Also if you want to make more videos rambling about gender I would be happy to watch!
thank you!!!!
you are just my favourite person I love ur videos so much
AAA thank you!!!
So happy for you. What book Judith butler book did you read, or any other book on gender? I just read Beyond the Binary by Alok Menon and it was fab. I’m interested in learning more about the gender and it’s relation to culture and psychology.
Ooh Alok is so cool! I have read parts of Gender Trouble by Butler (it's very very challenging and I don't reckon I'll ever do it cover to cover!) plus some articles I was given for uni. Other than that just articles and casual content I found online :))))
Oh and stuff for uni! If you want academic stuff, I'd try googling syllabi/readings lists for gender studies uni courses and having a look
YESS WELCOME TO THE CLUB
i had a feeling u were trans/nb - i dont mean that in a rude way its just so funny to notice little hints that ppl are not cis bc its like that was literally me lmao i just love when that happens
and very relatable vid as always - especially how scary it is dear god bc its like am i gonna have to pay for these expensive surgeries now or how difficult it could be to get hrt etc - completely diff from realizing ur gay but also somehow at the same time horrible deja vu to when i was like 14 lmao
and also not talking to anyone irl for months lol dw i did the exact same thing
Thank you sm for watching and haha it's funny that you aren't surprised!!;
What kind of hints do you notice? I’ve noticed it too?
@@ORGSE idk i dont remember tbh lol like cutting ur hair obv, or that they started dating a trans guy- not that thats a sign but i mean its like u might ~discover~ more things ab urself thats something ive heard happen a LOT
even for me, like 90% of my 'female' friends have ended up being trans/nb and i was always like ~haha so weird~
also theres the whole "gender envy" trend and i know trans ppl complain ab cis ppl saying that but im always like..are they cis tho... hmm idk lmao
like for me in hs i wanted to look like 80s goth boys SO BAD so that was pretty suspicous looking back
anyway idk if that was helpful lol
oh also same thing as how gay ppl say before they even realized they cared a little too much ab gay rights, same thing for trans ppl
they mentioned that in the vid and i definitely did that too lmao
Congrats on this self discovery! This is unrelated so I'm sorry but where is your shirt from?
thank you! I got it vintage on depop sorry!
We have literally the same haircut, hair problem, and pronouns haha
OMG YES!!!
Congrats on coming out ! It's great you're back and well . Amazing you're now non binary. I want to be non binary too. Being cis is quite plain now and last season:/
Thank you! I just want to clarify that being non-binary and/or trans is not trend and you cannot choose your gender. I have always been non-binary, I just learnt how to express it. I hope that makes sense!
I miss you💜💙