Should SONS be raised differently than DAUGHTERS | Jubilee NAILED IT.
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- Original Video --- • Should Sons Be Raised ...
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This is a great jubilee Video. We not trolling, when the content is good, the content is good. Leave em a like and a comment to encourage em.
Allegedly
This seemed obvious
This is the earliest I've ever been here but it's was worth it just for that Jafar joke... that shit had me dying
@@shwarmaandmamool2987 way more nuance in this topic then your uncomprehensible example
I totally agree that our sons have to be raised differently than our daughters. The world can be an evil, ugly place
Girl it is MIDNIGHT you’re 14! And you’re not answering your phone .
Honestly I’d be more worried if the father DIDNT call for help
It's honestly more about the age there. Like if my 14 year old did that PERIOD I'd be calling the cops.
Yeah I would call the cops regardless if it was my son or daughter
True, but I think it's mostly the fact that he would've been nonchalant had it been her brother. If EITHER of my children were missing at midnight I'd panic.
"But if my *17* year old brother did it!!"
My brother brings this up a lot. He wonders why he always had to check in even though I didn't, and it was just something simple as, he was more reckless than me. My parents knew that. I matured faster than my brother. That's also a factor that should be considered.
Am I the only one who caught the fact that the first girl LITERALLY said “I guess I forgot to tell my dad that I left” and she was in the 8th grade??? Excuse me, but that is grounds for concern when your daughter isn’t answering her phone, it’s 11pm, or 12am and you haven’t heard from her. To compare an 8th grader (A LITERAL MIDDLE SCHOOLER) to someone ie., her brother who she said was 17 at the time... Those aren’t the same things. Let’s say she had a sister who was 17, she’d probably have other privileges, BECAUSE OF HER AGE. There is also a HUGE difference in telling someone where you are, and how long you’re going to be out, and just sneaking out, or leaving without anyone knowing. Stupid stupid example she gave.
Straight facts
And then that same girl said that her and her father have great communication and she tells him everything????
@@r.e.c.9972 well I think you can still have a good relationship/good communication with someone and have occasional one off situations like this. It’s a father daughter dynamic, you aren’t going to tell him everything... right? lol. It just seems funny that she acknowledged that she may have forgotten to tell her father about leaving, but then fails to realize where his overreaction (in her opinion) comes from. And instead goes on to compare that situation to her brother, whose a lot older than her, without giving any context. As adults, 4 years isn’t a big deal, but 4 teen years, is a huuuuge difference.
Anyone else concerned about modern women it just seems like they lack so much...
@@gaylordpantamime yes. Onward.
When you have multiple children you won’t even raise them the same. Different personalities respond to different approaches.
Exactly
Just to be the devils advocate here (I like your reasoning and didn't even think of this), could the argument to this be, well you're still teaching your kids the same life lessons just in a different way for them to understand it (2+2 still equals 4 but some kids understand this lesson through road A and some understand it through road B). IDK I'm just asking questions lol
@@YK-be8rx it depends. Boys and girls sometimes need to learn vastly different life lessons.
@@nathanielbaxter8044 That's true yes I agree. There are some lessons that you would teach girls that you wouldn't teach boys and vise versa. But I think for the most part, important life lessons are non-gender (I know I know but I couldn't think of another way to word it), respecting others and their opinion even if they're different from yours, the value of family and knowledge,/education, right from wrong, self-worth, etc. I think that we go about teaching these things to boys and girls just in different way.
Facts!
The bald headed guy with the glasses looks like the dude that helped Tony Stark when he was captured by terrorists in the first Iron Man movie
LMAOOOO
Omg yah!! Lol
Yensen 😢
Hahaha yinsen*
“With immigrant parents you need to give them 7-10 business days to let them know where you’re going” 😂😂😂💯
Truer words never spoken 🤣🤣🤣
Factzzz. If we did what the 14 yr old did we'd not be seen on the face of the earth ahahah
😂😂omg true
Facts on facts
This is the best comment. Facts!!!!!
If my 14 year child came home male or female at midnight and wasnt answering their phone I'd be wildin.
I'd take away his X Station 180 for a week
Exactly. If her brother was 14 and did that the same would be done. A 17 year old is vastly different from a 14 year old and more so if he a boy. And even then MOST parents would be concerned. 14 is still a super vunerable age for both genders.
Use a belt on them.
@@dubbcee1000 I really hope that was a deliberate joke
@@SuperMurray2009 why do you think he called it an x station 180
Boys and girls should be raised differently, but only in the areas where there are actual differences.
and boom there you have it, spare the 15 minutes of privleged kids being given boundries
aye.
period.
Well there are differences pretty much everywhere
@@alessandraberetta6982 no there are physical differences only. All the other things should be exactly the same upbringing!
As a teenager I got roofied at a party, back then I didn’t even THINK of that risk. I feel like sometimes girls don’t understand that it’s a dangerous situation to be in and aren’t careful of that stuff. I almost died that night, and if it weren’t for an ex that found me and stepped up and beat the shit out of the asshole that did it, I woulda been raped too. It’s good that parents are overprotective of their daughters. Yeah you might not like it in the moment but they were right. I had other stories where my mom literally just got a bad feeling and sent my brother out to look for me and he was able to find me in the middle of a scary situation. If it weren’t for my mom being “overprotective” that night, I don’t know where I would be today.
🖤🖤🖤
I’m in purely out of philosophical consideration to your ascribe situation and how you contextualized your capacity in regards to interacting with the world around you… You need to learn more stuff, point blank
And if that’s something you’re in capable of then well special precautions need to be taken care of in how you move where you go what you do threat assessment potential etc.… And if you’re disabled regarding your cognitive ability to navigate situations in a way that you can do a thing inherently dangerous but through the way you move through the situation is how you safeguard and protect yourself and if that’s not a possibility then you need to seriously consider and figure out the types of engagements you are even able or should allow yourself to be part of
But then you have to be overprotective of your son as well
Yes exactly! They won’t realize u til they are in that situation sadly
@fredda1188 nahh gender does matter one thing y’all don’t factor in is we don’t live same experiences. your can’t be over protective with sons. Boys have to learn how to be tough because life of a man isn’t sunshine and rainbows. So when you’re raising a kid you have to raise them to be their potential gender experience. that’s why the over protection isn’t there. One day he’s gonna have a family, gonna have kids and a wife and everyone gonna depend on him especially to be emotionally strong. so he has to learn how to carry that burden that’s why parents give boys a little more freeway. He have to go through somethings (not rape of course) he have to go through hardship because the world wont be easy to him. If he’s crying for something small and another man see it they see him as weaker, if they see his parents cuddling him they hey see him as soft and if women see him that way too. So yeah you give your son more freeway so he can get smacked by the world. Daughters won’t get smacked by the world. Being young and innocent they might think they have the entire world figured out and that’s how you get you only fan superstars. You have a lot of old men praying on 14 year old grades offering them money
“I’d never date him”- My wife 14 years ago
Lol
Well done🙌🏾
Well played sir
Nice
High quality man right here
I think parent's should be protective over their boy's as well especially since I feel like pedophiles don't just go after little girl's.
EXACTLY!!!
Yh they dont because they know they will be protected while the male is vulnerable because no one one's taught him safety
Gangs are the bigger groomers far more like have your child killed or imprisoned
Exactly!! That's the problem too many people believe only girls get molested & if your a dude There's no way in hell that would happen because your a "man" & you should be able to defend yourself -__-
So many boys or guys keep quiet because of this reason.
@@annwolf2127 just like you said, this problem is so much under reported, if it is recognised at all, also by the victims themselves. Molested boys often have a lot of self blame because they often deal with feelings and obvious signs of arousal against their will. I will not say this isn’t a known problem for molested girls as well, but what I understood is that for boys it happens quite often. This arousal can give victims the false idea they secretly liked or wanted it to happen and that the hurt they experience was their own fault. It is sometimes used by perpetrators to convince the molested child he/she welcomed the molestation, which is again false of course. Furthermore because boys are often told to be strong and that they need to defend themselves, they feel they have failed in those aspects as well. Best not show your weakness to the world, and whatever you do, don’t cry about it, control it, keep it together. Many boys simply don’t tell. I have had quite some contact with male victims and these things keep popping up in their stories.
Imagine being bitter about your parents being concerned that they’ve not had contact with you all day up until midnight as a 14 year old kid 😂 peak foolishness
People don't know how good they got it until they've experienced true parental neglect. That'll hurt more.
I think that says a lot about how mature the person is.
That’s where I was at, there’s a bit of a difference between the 17 yr old and the 14 yr old wanting to stay out all night.
@@chajang7292 that's hard core truth
14 and staying out that long?!?!
If I was a father of a 14 year old boy and he was gone until midnight without calling, I might do the same thing. That's actually pretty outrageous that she did that.
Yes I makes me think wonder if he wasn't protective enough of his son? I'd be interested to see how the son was treated at 14.
@@NotAnotherKuromi She said her brother was three years older and it seemed that at 14 she thought she should be treated more like her 17 year old brother, which is pretty much what you'd expect of a 14 year old. I find it hard to imagine that the lad was treated any differently at 14, but the situation may not have arisen.
My dad thought I was kidnapped one time when I went home the next day when I told him that I'll be home the day before at the afternoon. He wooped my ass after
Man, I was gone all day from home when my dog ran off and I followed her. Dad didn’t even notice. I was 10/11. (Luckily dog walked near a friend of mine’s house and his mom saw me and drove me home with the dog, forget how I finally was able to get her back).
I’d have loved to have had a parent give a shit lmao. At least notice, damn.
@@elvickRULES yo..it depends. Many country & suburb kids get pushed out the door to play. u come in for food and go back out until dark chase u back home. Parents figure u aight in the area or home .but, i think if u were out at 10 during the whole nite..u may have caused a heart attack
fathers tend to be more protective for who daughters bring home. They should also be protective of their sons too considering how the wrong girl can ruin your life.
Very true. Men, as well as women, need to be much more discerning about who they procreate with. Having a kid with the wrong person can easily forever change the trajectory of your life to where you never can really recover. It's sad and i've seen it way too many times.
It’s easier for men to deal with young men( there daughters bf) because they were a young man and can relate and know what a young man is like.
Men watch for red flags and red pills in your relationships
The mom usually watches out for the son. Women understand women and men understand men so we can see thru each other’s bs.
@@starzgirl72 Especially men
There's a difference between being treated differently and treated fairly. Just be fair, it'll always be different.
true words, i feel like people mix both words.
And the issue with that is daughters will never understand that till they have a daughter of their own and then something happens to them and by then its to late to see how wrong they are that they think they where treated unfair
Even though I understand that is a noble sentiment, I think it is wrong and here is why: fair is a subjective term. What is fair to you, may not be fair to me. It could be based on cultural differences, or gender (which brings us back to the initial question of the video) or anything we hold dear in life. For example, the 14 year old girl felt she was being treated unfairly because her 17 year old brother had more freedom than her and she couldn't understand why. Hence she was treated differently. It is all a perception of the individual that decides what is fair and what is not. Therefore it is subjective. It is a philosophical term and anything philosophical is not clear cut. Also the very definition of "fair" means to be equal and therefore cannot be different, which makes your statement an oxymoron.
@@igipop14 equatible is not equal. equity is not equality. Fairness aligns more with equity than it does equality. While it is true that someone may not consider something fair, the person applying fairness can abide by it as best as possible. Fair was Preach's father not rejecting his daughter's ability to go out but putting the qualifier that she needs to go with someone he trusts (i.e. his son). Something unfair would be to say that Preach is able to go out on his own AND could also stay out past curfew unlike the daughter. While "fair" is subjective, so is nearly everything in society. Just because it isn't as objective as the sky is blue (on a clear day during a certain time) and the grass is green (as long as it has been watered frequently but not too much and provided enough sunlight) doesn't mean we need to not have a baseline. See everything has nuance even "the sky is blue and the grass is green" and we can determine something within reason. Reason is something we've determined to be a barometer of the perception of reality for our society. Something is reasonable if the large amount of people in a society would determine something that is perceived to "go in that direction". Fairness is applying reason to a situation to determine, or rather attempt, the most equitable outcome. What is fair or our reasoning is and has been shaped by society, that is why something fair centuries ago could be considered unfair today.
THIS! boys and girls should be raised differently because every child's needs are different
"Parents job is to assume the worst" -Preach
Wise words my man
Yep
@Franca Wong he only mentioned calling the cops when that 14 year old girl was missing until MIDNIGHT. When I was 14 I wouldn't conceive of remotely doing something like that. Why? Because the cops wouldn't be there to search for me, they'd be there to keep my parents from killing me..
@Franca Wong I got the rape doctor ie regular doctor on speed dial.
@@dumdumballoon eyo man if I was out even until 9:00? man I would certainly be dead. A nigga would never see the light of day ever again.
Assuming the worst is just doomed to fail. That;'s how you get ultra strict parents that give no freedom to kids and they have to escape the house in order to have a simple day at the beach or the movies.
Growing up Caribbean I hate how I was taught vs how males in my family were raised. The women were expected to work, cook, clean and take care of the house and the males just sat around all day. Like all my aunts have businesses and good paying jobs and then my uncles were either free loading off other family members and getting into trouble and having multiple women and children. It created a dynamic to where me and my female cousins were so pressured and couldn’t go out or do anything. I remember I got slapped in public when I was 11 because my father thought I had a bf. My whole family was talking about me like I was a whore off of them just coming to a random conclusion. But if my male cousins bring a girl home everyone was okay with it. My female cousin was disowned at 18 when she brought her bf to meet her dad. Like there are differences between males or females but you gotta hold your kids to the same standard. Then you’re wondering why your daughters don’t wanna speak to you when they’re older 🤷🏾♀️
Yup I can testify 🙋🏽♀️
Oh God that sounds awful on quite a few levels. I completely realize you can never be 'complete' with a ruined childhood but at the very least I hope you people are independent now and have happy and successful lives
F that
Lol 😂 I’m Caribbean and in my family boys and girls cook and clean feel for you tho
I dont think thats a Caribbean thing girl
Thats just just F'd up
Also Ive heard of situations similar to this (but less extreme and F'd up) with genders reversed (main difference being males getting disregarded for refusing to break up with a girl the family didnt agree with, or not getting support after 18 cuz they should be able to work for their money and so the women can have what they need)
So i agree with holding people to the same standard
My dad let my brother run around high school doing what he wanted because hes a boy. He ended up getting two girls pregnant. Careful what you allow.
Isn't that a good thing
@@KhalidAli-jc7cv 18 years 18 years she got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
It doesn't say 18 years
Still better than my daughter getting pregnant by 2 different men.
@@OutlandishSamurai How it's just as bad.
The difference isn't just sons and daughters, each child has their own unique personalities that require different parenting approaches. One kid is shy, the other outgoing, one has behavior problems, the other is the "golden" child. At the same time they could be doing really well or not doing well at all in school in terms of grades, friends, etc. A parent's job is to encourage and nurture the positive aspects of their children while helping them improve on the more negative aspects as much as possible. To answer the question? Yes, sons and daughters require different attention that has to do with their specific gender, to try and ignore that is going to hinder them rather than help them later in life.
Well said. Having three children with vastly different personalities, I couldn't agree more.
Thank you.‼️
I was labeled a child with behavior problems at a very young age. Turns out I have Tourette’s syndrome. So you should be careful labeling children in such ways. The reason I say this is because, if the child hears this bad labeling from somebody who is there to be a role model, then they may actually believe this label is true and it can have dire consequences later on down the line.
Man thank you! I wanted for them to realise that through the entire video.
I get worried we're going to do kids a great disservice by thinking if we raise them the same it's going to be better. Like if you raise a kid that is very confident and dominant with a "take what they need" personality by saying that the world is theirs and they're perfect, you're going to create a monster. They need discipline to control that and use it positively.
And if it's someone who just wants to make everyone around them happy and is super altruistic and agreable they might need to hear that sort of "the world is yours, grab what you need" stuff because they probably have to learn to look out for number one. If they get schooled like the dominant/confident person they're going to completely forget about themselves and be miserable.
As you said, people are different, different people need different things. It makes me glad to hear that this was something that other people thought as well because I think it's important for the future. Hope you have a great day my dude!
@@Somethingwithletters64 Great comment Elliott! Really insightful!
Society needs to EMBRACE the Differences between Men and Women rather than trying to ERASE the Differences between Us.
Studys have shown that In countrys were they try to erase the differences between men and women it actually has the opposite affect were after a few years gender roles start to become more mainstream lol kinda ironic
@@bustonjoyall1941 Probably less double standards there
Totally agree
@@bustonjoyall1941 Already happening with gen z apparently, and im glad.
Being a man is damn near illegal in the western world.
The girl who said she has intense anxiety around her dad is definitely scared of her dad , the way she looks down when he’s disagreeing with her about how he thinks it’s crazy they don’t communicate
I'm the same way around my mom because I'm scared of her.
yo damn are you a satyr? You can see through people’s emotions through the interwebs. Wow so cool. Even though you’ve never met them??? Even cooler...
@@amogus5632 body language is a thing
@@amogus5632 there's a fucking thing called body language and movement, dumbass.
Yeah. It made me uncomfortable to see her like that. She is very low energy, quiet and withdrawn. I wonder what he did to her.
Is it that hard to say that we can raise our sons and daughters differently but treat them the same? The world around them won’t change just because of their “woke” upbringing.
@Edrick Powell you can give the same amount of respect and love to two people even though those two people may need different things. Their needs are different but as long as I give the same amount of time and energy to both equally then that is treating them the same. I’m not talking about absolute specifics. Like if my daughter starts her period that doesn’t mean I have to start teaching my son how to use tampons too.
@@celestialmorpho i agree
@Edrick Powell i can treat them the same whilst also making sure i bring up my daughter knowing that she has to be always vigilant and to go out with a guy or a group of friends, something you dont have to do with sons
@@celestialmorpho but I guess we have to teach boys and girls equally on the topic of sexuality and stuff like periods.
@@richardhobbs7360 Please don't neglect teaching your sons that same kind of vigilance or that it's fine to ask for company if they have to go out somewhere in the middle of the night. That they're not weak for being afraid or scared of something happening. Make sure they don't get into bad stuff that's gonna get them jumped, stabbed, killed or mess up their lives and that they're not risking that if they don't need to. 4:43
Theres a fine line between "my son can handle himself" and "my son is disposable." As well as "my daughter is fragile" and "my daughter is an idiot."
Wha!? Fine lines don’t exist. Either, you are apart of the sexist patriarchy or not.
(Sarcasm warning for any triggered dimwit who thinks I’m being serious)🙄
We men are disposable though, humans have a group preference greatly in favour of women. It's the harsh truth.
@@LukaDonesnitch had me in the first half haha....
Fricking nailed it brother.
@@jayc342009 That's very true. Women are always getting special attention. They can talk about their feelings to anyone without being scared. As men its harder for us and this new wave of feminism has made things worse. Higher suicide rates and decreasing marriage counts (in 1st world countries).
Preach out here lookin like a Nickelodeon super villian
He look like a villan from Miraculous
That Fedora Drip tho
Looking like Doug’s sister 😂😂😂
He needed that beret. How else are we supposed to know he speaks french?
I feel like your parents sharing their struggles with you when they are older and not always playing the strong / unbreakable person is actually really helpful. When my dad shared his struggles with me, I respected him even more. When I faced problems in similar situations, I can always relate to him and get comfort in the fact that someone who lived his life sucessfully also had struggles with XYZ as well. When everyone plays strong around you, your own mistakes can feel more devastating.
I wholeheartedly agree with this!! It makes them feel human and relatable and gives you an example of how an adult should really be and feel. This is so important
Yes, boys and girls should be raised differently. They’re obviously different and I think girls are more protected. I have three boys and a girl by the way.
Unrelated lol but You’re stunning sis 🔥🔥🔥
@JeanetteJBeauty I love your channel, so I love when I see you comment under videos on channels I watch 😂
Spot on. We are different and have different needs.
That's called logical and proper parenting. Good work, ma'am
Well said
GUILTY. My husband was my friend growing up. I remembered telling people that it is impossible for us to be romantic involve. We've been married for 10 yrs.
:'))
I personally have a lot of friends (best friends) who are girls and as I grow up to my late teenage years this is my worst fear
Familiarly breeds attraction the farther isn't wrong for assuming something to happen its natural
@pebzee do you have anything to refute that with or you just bored replying with nonsense?
But that’s good you were free to explore that relationship and it lead to a long-standing marriage.
Ok for the girl who said “my brother is 17, I’m 14” well part of the reason the parent doesn’t care as much the brother is out till midnight is probably also because he’s almost an adult. A 14 year old has less awareness than a 17 year old as well
thats not true for every 14 yr old. people are too stupid to comprehend this
@@thoticcusprime9309 It relatively is though
And also if two of them are together that’s safety in numbers plus she wasn’t answering her phone, she’s just a bad child most likely and when she gets caught goes “oh cause I’m a girl”
@@thoticcusprime9309 I understand that. But on average they aren’t as aware. There is a development gap. Hell I’ve seen 14 year olds, I’ve been 14. There is not as much awareness or maturity in general, just because I don’t say in general doesn’t mean I’m talking about every single one. And in this case, she’s kinda unaware because she’s complaining about her parents worrying about her and not her 17 year old brother.
@@thoticcusprime9309 It's generally true though. Not 100% of the time obviously. In this case in the video, she didn't even tell him she left.
The fact that she was even allowed to go out with her friends, presumably alone, at 14 is new to me. I couldn’t wear shorts at 14 😂. I can say that when I was a young, naïve, teenage girl I felt a lot of the same things they feel. Now at 28 i see where my parents were coming from. This won’t fully register with them until they’re older or have kids of their own.
Indeed I’m now thankfully for my mom’s diligence didn’t appreciate it at the time.
The shorts thing isn’t normal at all
The short thing isn't normal fam.
right!!! lmao same here w shorts, but it's my culture and religion. it's fine, i was saved from a lot of stupidity in my childhood yrs. i easily cringe at anything regarding the past, so it's helpful to have had less of that experience in general. i was a p smart kid, and the stupidity of kids in general and the push of completely free parenting just makes it difficult for me to look forward to parenting hehe
That’s not normal at all
"Stop crying or ill give you a reason to cry" - mom.
Me responding: "you already did"
My dad also did that. A lot. No physical abuse, just a lot of emotional trauma. I hope you're ok 😊
My dad did the same thing. Right after tearing my butt up. Made me strong, haven’t gotten a whooping since I was like 11, Im 17 now.
@@lorenacuenca6250 wait thats already considered as trauma? i thought thats just normal
Oh my gosh my parents said the exact same thing
Why is this even a conversation
Of course you gotta raise daughters and sons differently
Not better
Not worse
Just different 🤦🏿♂️
I agree. The issue is, new age idealogy wants to teach traditionalism to the girls and feminism to the boys.
@@notanotherone5564 wtf is this strawman, I dont know a single person that thinks that way
@@fluffywhitemanju Not because you don't know anyone that thinks like that. Doesn't mean people don't think this way.
EXACTLY THANK YOU
@@fluffywhitemanju ha as a teen dude that's cap. Its all around me. They trying to suppress us dudes and call masculinity toxic.
If it's past midnight and my 14 year old isn't home or answering their phone you dang right im calling the cops. Wtf? That little girl never watched the first 48 or any show about people going missing?
That little girl is so sheltered, she clearly knows nothing of the potential of being kidnapped and trafficked. These are people the world deem as woke.
should be required viewing
They need to watch To Catch a Predator and Dateline and then realize why some parents are overprotective of their kids and should be.
Agree, but I’d be worried about any 14 year old out past midnight. Out late without supervision at all. 14 is still very young. There’s dangers out there for both girls and boys.
Right? You best believe being a 14 year old, she's constantly on her phone. She was doing shit she didn't want her dad to know about. Only her dad didn't know that.
preach's point about how, what parents might think of as encouragement can easily just be pressure is so true. all of my siblings and me growing up were constantly told how smart for our age we were and it just fucks with your sense of ambition or drive or work ethic. you're told you are something and then as soon as you run into any sort of difficulty suddenly you're not just trying to live up to this little test at school but this whole ass picture of yourself people have made for you. you just want to give up and it fucks your self-worth lmao. though honestly i feel like it's near impossible to be a parent and not fuck up your kid a little bit like this. it's so easy to do i think it's almost unavoidable.
At the end of the day if you have a daughter she's going to do things. Teach her the game and teach her to be safe
@LowLinK this has nothing to do with being liberal tf 😭
I’m so progressive I turned my own daughter out 😈 skreet talk
@@xychelz u must be a liberal or something😭😭
@LowLinK I mean you have to protect your sons too
@@dzimm-mq3tw I ain’t even liberal lmao or conservative I could honestly care less but this literally has nothing to do with politics. I have conservative neighbors and they let their kids do whatever they want and honestly they’re never there for their kids 🤷♀️
14 yr old girl is a lot different than a 17 year old boy, hell a 14 yr old girl is different than a 17 yr old girl.
Fr
Im thinking maybe the son did the same when he was her age and father probably reacted similar even when she was older. Bcuz that makes it not about age and more about gender.
That mindset she had was childish, I mean there are clearly the difference's on gender but then if I am 15 and my brother is 17 I totally get why he can stay till midnight. And she was just 14 like bruh
Fr a 17 year old boy and a 14 year old girl aren't even comparable by that point why us she complaining
“Like every immigrant parent you need 7-10 business days to tell them where you’re going” 😂
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACTS
Gotta submit a permission slip 💀
They give me the permission but then when the day comes for me to go they decided that they changed their mind and tell me I no longer have permission to go anymore 🥲😂
Happened to me as a teen ! Got cancelled the night before 🤣🤣😂😭
Faxxx
I’m gonna go on a tangent but on the raising sons and daughters differently, I understand that you want to raise your daughter differently to keep her safe, I just think it’s important to include sons in that conversation. Usually those conversations with daughters happen away from the sons and later the boys are told “protect your sister” and that’s it. Through those conversations boys can learn self control first off. But also they can understand how women feel and not just focus on the fact that they need to be protected. They’re not an objects that you need to protect, they’re people. You should approach the women in your life with sincere concern to protect them not control them to protect them. Sometimes it comes off as control and a poor understanding from fathers, brothers, ect. This is about to get wordy but, better brothers lead to better fathers and the issues between fathers and daughters wont be so big.
This is such good advice, perfect.
This exactly
Exactly
It's also important because boys can be victims too and should be taught what to look out for and how to protect themselves. Everyone should be talked to about how to protect themselves.
This is naive. You want boys to understand how girls feel? You want fathers to protect without exercising their authority? You think boys instinctually protect women because they see them as mere "objects"? You think boys will learn "self control" (whatever that means) by listening in on a conversation that is irrelevant to their life?
All of what you said sounds good to someone who doesn't know better. In reality, you're just adding in more unnecessary noise to an already difficult problem. All of my sisters were raised differently by my parents because there were active predators both in the interpersonal and public environments. I didn't get sexually assaulted, raped, stalked or harassed like my sisters did. I also did not see any of my sisters as objects when I protected them.
Y'all are so obsessed with "muh equality" and "let me live life without any rules or consequences" that you're empowering the predators. Instead of living without taking responsibility, maybe realize that men and women are different, therefore they need different parenting.
I think what people fail to see when it comes to the "I wouldn't send my daughter out but I'd be fine with sending my son out" is that they are basically making a decision between whos safety they value more. With sons, and I am not saying people do this malevolently, people are much more willing for them to go out in risky situations. Sons can go work on construction sites, on oil digging grids in the ocean and families will in general be like "Aight". I keep seeing this "The world is so dangerous for women" and it is I agree but its almost always followed up with "Men wouldn't know". Really? We wouldn't? Bottom of the line the world is dangerous for men and women its just that we are more willing to let men face that danger than women and I don't think people recognize that enough.
Thank you 👏🏾👏🏾💯💯💯. The same applies when it comes to moving furniture. They always make guys/boys move heavy materials that can injure or kill them if not taking safety precautions. And the old saying “It’s because you’re a man and you have to do it.” I reply back, “No I don’t have to. I don’t have to say the same thing towards a woman/girl if it’s something you’re commonly used to seeing them doing daily.”
I agree to an extent but it’s also because men and woman play different roles in society. those men weren’t forced into working dangerous jobs, they chose to. men and woman value and provide value to different situations and things. I would bet the son enjoys performing tasks like that because it is a show of independence, capability, and responsibility. The son would also be more well equipped to defend himself if something were to happen. I do think that we should acknowledge those roles and the difficulties or problems that come with each of them, the truth is nobody really has it easy in life.
Well said 👏👏👏👏
@Ablebodied i think that men are more suited to protect themselves while women are usually not
@Able Bodied you are so so right....i'm 25 and married, my husband was away for a couple of days and i heard noises in the attic i was telling my dad about the noises so he came over and he and my brother checked it out. As my dad and brother were up there i started climbing the ladder to come up and my dad yelled don't come up here.....i said to him later if i were a man you wouldn't have tried to stop me from entering the attic in my own home....my dad looked at me and with no pause said, " yea you're right it can be dangerous up there and you don't need to be up there"....i asked him if he was a mysogynists he said, "nope i just love my daughter"....how could i get upset at that.... turned out we had squirrels in the atttic and my dad had no problem putting himself and my brother in what may or may not be a dangerous situation to protect me...so Able Bodied you are right it is expected that men will put themselves in dangerous situations and society expects them to and it's really something that we should acknowledge more and give men credit for doing.
Fathers are more protective because they know how wild men can get. That's where men have to hold other men accountable.
Same with Woman
Oh I would hold men or women accountable if they did something to my daughter and my sons. I would be doing some accounting of body parts. 1 little 2 little 3 little fingers, 4 little 5 little 6 little fingers, 7 little 8 little 9 little fingers, 10 little fingers gone. :)
Then they should raise their sons NOT to be that way. Why let them do it, or even encourage it, when you know that you're going to defend your daughter against the same exact thing? It's crazy.
@@tormentorchick1755 right, but I can’t control other people and what they do so I need to make sure that MY people have what they need no matter what it is right? So if a guy is trying to touch me then I’m just ending him on the spot, but if someone is touching a girl other men must step in and she must be prepared or knowing the signs so she can avoid it if possible like Krav Maga fighting or mace spray
@@erenjeager5290 r u a girl? U must be. A parent can't raise a man to be different. Go to ever male feminist and they will secretly wanting poom poom. Go to a conservative guy it is the same thing. It's genetics. Each guy handles them differently. No man raises his son to be a rapist. All men know rape is wrong. You get into a crowd with everyone hollering and getting crazy and a chick stripping in the middle, she is gonna get grouped. You literally lose your mind.
“7-10 business days.” 😭😭 the accuracy hurts.
There’s a difference between raising a kid differently and raising kids unfairly. And for some parents, they mix up the two. If you require one kid to clean then require all kids. If you require one kid to do well in school, require all kids to do so.
Also, I think dads should be MORE protective of their sons because little boys are also targeted.
Thank u for ur amazing analogy
@@MsMaryPatricia I agree with hosw just making them do housework makes no sense. Ur supposed to be treating differently not unfairly
@Disguised Dv8ant yeah people be acting like young boys are always the perpetrator never the victim
@@MsMaryPatricia People use their strenght. Physicial weak men will adapt and use manipulation and not physical strenght to attack other or protect themselfs. Strong women will use their muscle to attack other or protect themselfs. You can see the same thing with disabled people, they adapt how to protect themselfs or/and attack others. The first error you see with "newbie" where am i is to think that
physical disadvantage people can't adapt or use other stuff to be strong.
One of the worst default of humankind is his visual biasis
@@danielsemakula1526 Nowaday everywhere, most everyday you see how horrible is to be a women, all the pain they fell, all the pressure. So parents know more how to protect their daughter
But for boy, you have nothing except the random " harassment" for eveyrthing, is like we don't need to protect them cause by their sex, they have obligatory everything, all advantage, they can't have , more or less, the same type of problem a duaght can have. You can see new parents to start ignore their child cause " it' s a boy" , here in some college you can see boys who hate themself cause they are a male.
If I didn’t come home at 14 year olds without telling my dad where I was going or ASKING if could go, my dad would have dragged my ass to hell and back.
Your father raise your right brionna 👍
Most Kids raised African/African American can't even imagine facing our parents at midnight without telling them where we were. You'D rather not come back at all😂
Teens are so dumb sometimes even tho they’re not
They can get bothered being asked stuff like that but my older cousin actually puts it in some real terms
“Ok. So how or who’s gonna know where you gonna go, where you gonna be, who with, and/or at what time?”
M
i get so suprise with freedom teens have today . When i was 14 my life was "school -home-home-school" with special moments i could hang out with my friends. I get so suprised these teens are going like to parties or just leaving without telling their parents where they went.
Yeah same. At 14 I was supposed to be home at 6 o'clock in summer and 5 o'clock in winter. I'd still be grounded if I did that
Safety wise, I can definitely see being more protective of daughters. My only issue is when people don't expect the same for boys and girls when it comes to grades, household chores, and cooking. I do not believe that there should be differences in those instances. I also feel that parents should be just as tough about sexual education and contraception for both boys and girls.
Agreed
I completely agree with your last point. The sexual double standards between boys and girls is truly baffling
I agree with this, pretty much. I don't think the chores have to be the same necessarily, but the distribution at least.
Idk, I've seen probably one woman mow the lawn in my life so it's arbitrarily embedded in me to see lawn mowing as a guy thing, lol
Well your last point my parents were pretty tough on the sexeducation and I’m a guy
@@KR-vu9mo yeah, especially since your son's can definitely out do your daughter in the teen pregnancy categories.
I know 3 chicks who had the SAME baby daddy around the SAME time and he had to pay child support IN HIGHSCHOOL because of it, which means his parents were LITERALLY paying for that mistake.
That's expensive.
I have a mom who does the whole "I love you unconditionally and accept you as you are" shebang, but literally ignores me or treats me like shit if I don't do exactly as she tells me to. It's is all well and good to say that, Ben, but actually SHOW IT instead of just preaching it. Your daughter's body language was exactly like mine when I used to be close to my mom-- a lot of anxiety and timidness. She's also wondering why I've become distant from her when we used to be so close. Whenever I would voice out my feelings, it would the whole "nothing you do could disappoint me" spiel, so that I would start feeling guilty about seeing fault with this parent who SAYS nice things, but does the complete opposite. I later learned something called covert narcissism: people who look so charming on the outside but are actually hideous behind closed doors. I'm glad Citcali is moving in with her mother
That’s how my mom is, the unconditional love shpeel is a guilt trip, it’s why I rarely speak to her or text her or anything.
Growing up I always saw my dad as a strong, manly person. We had a strained relationship because he always believed 'tough love' was the solution and I was a sensitive child. But I remember the first time I saw him cry, and it broke my heart because I had finally told him that his tough-love attitude over the years drove me to try to kill myself. Ever since then I have worked hard to be open with him about my feelings as it relates to him and we have never been closer.
Wow
I'm glad that you two have reconciled :)
If I could like a comment multiple times I would for this comment
That’s great to hear
@Anonymus X nah you just a dickhead
Men and women are different...theres nothing wrong with that. I think the problem is generalization of everyone instead of giving out whats best for the individual! In my opinion
I agree 💯!!!
@NANA DOTWA I mean that's on you to raise them to be better then that... Let the kid be independent but they' are a part of you.
Yeah but it's like what Aba and Preach said: the real world is not going to treat you that way. People are going to generalize you first before anything else
Indeed, this should be per individual
Of course such generalization will happen when the political push seems to be for total conformity, no individuality allowed
i think 2020 is a testament to that
“Prepared for the worse but still praying for the best”
-Lil Wayne
That’s a saying as old as time. Not Lil Wayne’s quote lol respectfully
@@Dixon_Cider407 I know but he did get pardoned recently so seemed funny to mention
A rule to live by
“But if my 17 yo brother did it” well yes I agree. However, there’s the age difference. You were 13-14, he was 17. Of course u’re gonna call the cops for a 13 yo regardless of their gender.
Right, like it's a whole different scenario, not even about gender at that point
"You're never gonna disappoint me. Like, nothing you do will ever disappoint me."
*Asian kids with a B on their report cards* : "Some people are just born lucky, aren't they?"
That was empty virtue talk. His daughter already crushed his soul when she wanted to live with her mom full time. It's just a nice thing to say.
B?? From what I heard..try A- 😂😂
@@josephbth5562 It's an A+, only an O can even begin to not disappoint them parents.
I thought 99/100 disappointed their parents.
@@twistedumbrella7537 It does. Even 100/100 is a tough go.
@2:20 I was done the moment you threw in the Jafar joke 😂😂😂😂
Saaame 😂😂
😂😂😂😂
He raciiiissssssss 🤣
I read this before it happened, and it still had me dying.
@@Risingofthephoenix but but negas can't be wacist O:
I don’t like that they used parents that didn’t have sons AND daughters. They can’t know, they are just speculating, so I think thay was. huge flaw in this.
If anything, to really test this, they should’ve found parents with twins of each genders. That way there’s no other factors for differential treatment other than gender.
@@darkwriter_xx94 good one
As far im aware from what I seen in that footage its only the 1 guy who doesn't have a son the other 2 have son(s) and daughter(s)
@@Demonsouls1993 yeah but then it can always be explained away that one is older which was the case with the girl and the curfew. If they’re the exact same age then the only difference would be gender.
Personally, I think the problem is not that fathers are overprotective of their daughters, it’s that they should be just as protective of their sons. Predators go after little boys too. Also, it’d be really refreshing to see parents react to their sons the same way the father did to his daughter with anxiety when she was crying. Teach boys that it’s okay for them to express emotions or communicate their issues. Instead of the typical ‘suck it up’ attitude that leads to pent up rage in young men.
THIS!!!!!
Nah because thats weird for a LOT of people to see a bunch of emotional guys crying and shit like i see females do there is a REASON we have less estrogen than them and more testesterone
Naa I'm still telling my son to suck it up when I become a parent anyways, thank you for your opinion😂
@@isaacalzate8262 yeah we’d rather see boys shoot up schools, instead of talk about their feelings. Makes perfect sense! 😒
As a son I really don't feel like crying in most situations since I have to learn how to be stoic and reliable at the time of need, my father never said "boys don't cry" or something like that it's just something from inside, I don't like my crying face!
Father’s are naturally protective over their daughters because they know how guys think, and mothers are naturally protective over their sons because they know how girls think.... depending on the experiences of the parent would be more or less protective.... the point is treat them equally but raise them differently..
Yes 💯
nicely said. I agree. Parents have a responsibility for their children. Every parent loves their child and mostly want the best for them. Young children doen't think that you talk from experience because why should they. Some people have some deep shit engraved into their brains that tey get overprotective and shit.
Good men and boys are naturally protective, both my 12 year old son is already protective of me and my daughter.
No offense intended, but there is no universal way that guys normal women think like you implied in your comment. It’s peoples environment they were reared in, what values they were reared with and who they were reared around that Shapes their personalities and decision-making regardless of gender or physical sex.
@@carolynhernandez7067 Everyone is naturally protective it’s a universal human instinct.
Yes, girls and boys should be raised differently. However the values they have should be the same.
@Wake No. sometimes parents teach the values differently and it comes across differently, or they dont teach a value because it never occurs to them that they need to say it. Where they may teach a son about the necessity of consent from a partner, they may not teach a daughter. Where they may teach emotional coping mechanisms to a daughter they may not teach it to a son.
@Wake No. like the parents only expecting the daughters to do the chores of cleaning and never expect or ask the sons to clean and let them just play games all day
@@uk-xc1ol n do they make the girls shovel the snow mow lawns, carry heavy shit w the cars this n that.
Y is it hard to admit that all gender roles r different but as long as both r valued equally, it's fine?
@@gilgamos_5658 maybe it's because I didn't have a dad but my mom never told my brother to do those things, she was just expecting me to do cleaning and cooking because she could teach since she was taught that and "it'd make me a good wife". And we don't get snow and we live in an apartment who mows our lawn lol and we would take the heavy parts from my mom so we could help... she wouldn't even ask or expect because it is just that easy or we never have super heavy parts I guess.
@@uk-xc1ol well that's unfortunate but my point stands. It is possible to carry on gender roles as long as both siblings do work that's equally valuable. Your case is your case. In my side, we are all brothers, n I know how to cook clean, raise an actual kid, cars, heavy things n tedious things. Everyone is diff.
I don't think they should be raised too differently though. Little boys get raped and jumped too. I would gauge more on how responsible and attentive my kids are. Idk I'm just a person who doesn't trust anyone.
Amen.
I think preach and aba missed the mark on this one.
I think all kids should have some nuances in how they're raised based on personality...just dont make it unfair as it causes resentment anf hate for other sex anddd parents.
Little boys get raped and jumped too? Wtf. That's not the conversation. Anybody who is manchild is at risk to thr same dangers, but when it comes to teenage years things definitely get quite a bit different.
@@10XSeiga You are in denial: there are thousands of old, predatory men out here who only like teenage boys. Then men like you complain about women getting more attention than men for sexual assault crimes.
My brother who is younger than me had it 100 times easier than me and my sister. he was allowed to go out and come to the house at any time. I was not allowed to date or be home later than 10:00 pm I was already 21!!!. Yet he brought his first girlfriend to live with my parents at 18!!! When I confronted my dad about his hypocrisy he straight up told me. Let his girlfriend’s dad worry about his daughter. The double standard
Your dad should be worried because it's him that will have to pay child support should something happen.
That’s some chauvinistic shit. I can’t stand that. So let me guess, if he got her pregnant when he was 18, it’ll be the girls problem and not his sons/your brother? That’s an idiotic attitude. I bet you’re probably more mature than your brother.
@@yumiko0017 You sound immature
@@yumiko0017 ofc it's the girl problem..men can't get pregnant
Just leave. You're in someone's house. I abide by my mom's rules. If I can't stand for it I'll just leave.
“Damn Brian”
“I don’t think you can say that Brian”
😂😂😂
Brian does not know how to lie.
That shit got me
But they didn’t say that he was wrong...🤣
He jus like me
Oh Brian, I can’t believe you done this
Gohan: Hi, my name's Gohan and this is my father, Goku
Goku: Hi, my name's Goku and this is my son, Gohan
Vegeta: Greetings, I am Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans and these are two lower class warriors, Kakarot and Kakarot's Brat!!
I read this in team 4 star's voice.
This is beautiful, though I miss piccolo, best dad ever.
DODGE
Piccolo: .... Goku is a deadbeat.
RIP trunks
Everyone knows piccolo is gohans true father! Goku was just a sperm donor.
You raise your kids with the world as it is, not as you want it to be.
Exactly!
A perfect way to sum the whole thing up
It's really not a matter of one way over the other. You raise them with the world as it is AND as you want it to be. It can only evolve thru the next generation knowing and doing better than us. In this case, yes be extra cautious with daughters out in the world, but also raise sons to not be dangers to other people's daughters.
@@mermaidtingzzz You've misunderstood my premise. I wasn't saying you should raise your kids to not be better then present circumstances, but don't be so naive as to raise your kids so that they are blind to the dangers the world around them presents.
@@mermaidtingzzz and riddle me this why are men always raised to be courteous to women and treat them like princess but are not raised to be as equally nice towards men? Obviously not all girls and women, know why? Because there are kids out there who are taught to be respectful towards everyone no matter their gender and they grow up to be good people, but its not part of the culture to raise daughters to be as courteous and caring of the other gender as men are.
I love how confident Aba is in his opinions and ideas. He states his thoughts and then let’s YOU get comfortable with it. In contrast Preach braces you for his ideas and then coddles you after to make sure you understand why he feels the way he does. Lol I love it 🖤
The misogyny argument is basically like, "raise your kids to be gay so they don't become homophobic". Not being raised the same way as a woman doesnt make men misogynist, being raised without respect for all people, woman included does
Misogyny is vastly over used as to be almost meaningless and no one talks about misandry
thank you!
HYPKNOH DIGITAL
1 second ago
woman are exploiting the fact they suffer little to no consequences for their actions and using what men say and do against them knowing they suffer severe consequences... a man will back down to a woman (knowing deep down inside he could end her in an instant) purely because of consequence. if woman really want equal rights then it only makes sense women are treated as men because it makes no sense treating men as women knowing their consequences for actions will be lessened.
Raising a boy like a girl is so much more likely to Breed a misogynistic person rather than a feminist.
@@jasontater given the 40 years of miandrist girl power in medua alone will do that
I wish my dad was still here. He was my best friend and I told him everything, he told me everything too once I was old enough. I know he’s still with me always. Rest In Peace and God Bless to everyone else who lost their fathers.
My father aint that great, but it's great to hear that someone loves their father.
My dad died when I was 3 and he was replaced by a pedophile. Trauma ain't fun, but oh well. Can't give up now :)
@@migueljuarez6788 My mother was severely abusive and I feel the same way hearing people talk about having a loving mother. My heart goes out to you, man, God Bless.
@@CrayCrayslab I hope you’re in a better place now and recognize what a monster that man was. The worst kind of person is one who takes advantage of a helpless child.
You are in my prayers and my heart goes out to you. I’m sending love and light your way, God Bless.
Sorry about your dad stay strong.
"Ni**a stop lying Jafar"
I *SWEAR* to you I have never immediately died laughing so quickly. Bruh that was top tier shit right there.
fr
2:38 - Surprised y'all didn't bring up the age difference as well. There's a big difference in maturity between a 14-year-old and a 17-year-old.
Fathers don’t like guys hanging around their daughters because they used to be those guys and they know how they think.
Or they know how their friends used to think
You don’t have to have been an asshole to know how they think and be careful.
Yeah like let's not spread the idea the most guys were players back in their heyday (despite what so many will tell you). Most guys back then are the same ones you got now.
The overwhelming majority doing a whole lot of chasing and not getting laid and a very small amount having sex with most of the girls in school.
I just think fathers knew that once they found that small minority that did have alot of sex it was only a matter if time before their daughter is involved.
Facts brudda
@@SuperMurray2009 I think a lot of guys are aware of their utter id and what they want to do, and they know that they have to guard themselves against what they might want.
Father of 4 grown daughters here, it’s different. I was overprotective because I didn’t want to raise victims, and they are not. They are productive, responsible adult women raising their own children in a productive, responsible way.
Yasss!!❤️💕💕👏
I'm sorry I know it was not in your attention, but it kinda sounded like you think a victim of sexual assault or harrassment couldn't also be a productive responsible person with a family. A victim can be just as successful in life. What happens doesn't define them.
@@mallyk8199 He means that he didn’t want his daughters to play victim, and blame everyone else but themselves for the consequences of their choices in life. He made sure that they took accountability for their choices.
@@Javi808 but why can’t they do the same for the sons
That’s pretty naive of you to say, my father taught me how be accountable for everything that I have done and plan to do in the future from life skills to relationships, jobs and etc. what is up with this negative image of men having no sense of accountability along with having misogynistic views against women. 90% of us men were taught how to treat women and are aware of the things that happen to women and also hold other men accountable for their. I just find it hella unfair as a man to be grouped with those kind of labels by women that don’t even know me 😕
Aba this haircut suits you man. Looking like a Somali denzel Washington.
Aba is Ethiopian.
@@arijones9564 🤣🤣🤣
@@arijones9564 lmaoooo
@@arijones9564 doesn't change that he looks somali
@@Myemnhk Shmoooove
I feel like I need to say something about the father crying in front of their kid when his father past away. When my dad went through losing his father it was the first and only time I have watched him cry that I can remember, but it didn't feel like he lost his ability to be a rock. It showed me that even when your rock has its hard times it becomes okay to allow them to take a break and become "human" again. Even though they are normally this pillar of strength, they just lost their pillar and might need a little support themselves. I don't know the perspective from a daughters point, but for me it just made me realize how great he was to be strong for so long.
"Stop lying, Jafar." LMAO
Hahahaha... racism.
@@harlequin2280 oh shut up
@@Alecexo Would that work on you?
@@harlequin2280 hahaha...it's called a joke
Off the bat, yes daughters should be raised differently than sons. Obviously. 😂
You sexist! (sarcasm) The new way of thinking is that gender is a myth.
ok so here is what it is..even same Gender kids are raised differently because all kids are not the same even if they are the same gender
@@GameOn71213 exactly
@@Nepthu It's just so fricking stupid like
But different in which ways? That's the question.
Ben trapped his daughter when he told her “ What ever energy you give me im going to give back” He emotionally trapped her. Thats why shes so monotone and afraid go big emotions. Maybe he hasn’t realized what he’s done cause it was done to him by his parents.
I agree with this. So many parents don't realize that when they do this kids don't feel comfortable talking to them. I was in the boat with parents. I still have trouble talking to them now as an adult because of it.
I have 5 siblings and all are emotionally broken and 3 (all male) showing effects of this in there angry outbursts and selfish aswell as reckless behaviour..I too have struggled but I am the oldest..and the most difficult part is getting them to realise they are following the same trend he has set and acting out his personality within there own..its also seeped into my step mum and her family and they all keep locked up whilst using anger and passive aggressiveness to shield there true feelings mainly because they all rely in him financially and dont have the self belief to change themselves or try to help him change parts of himself so far...my father is not a confident man and shields this with materialist approaches time and again with what he has instead of who he is so everybody is a ghost to themselves and destroying there own spirit.
I can honestly say I know alot about this subject!
The problem was the miscommunication with that quote you can tell what Ben means is if she's upset he will do everything in his power to uplift here as you can see when he talks about how he'll never be disappointed and will always love her unconditionally. She misread this as "if I'm upset he'll be upset and what if I'm mad at him? He'll be just as mad at me." Ben's intention was equal energy to counter balance and help her.
@@FlyXcur I agree. It like he’s telling her ‘hey this is important to you and I will make it important to me as well’. Assuming the worst has done more damage to her and her relationship with her father than anything else.
I might have misunderstood, but it seems to me like he made her responsible for his emotions and reactions by saying that. Why else would she have anxiety around him? It seems like she is walking on eggshells.
Jubilee: Should SONS be raised differently than DAUGHTERS
Me: Why is this even a video?
I had that same sentiment but honestly, there are some woke dads out there that might get a wake up call from this and actually make better fathers because of it as sad as that sounds
The was thinking the same thing BRO!
Cuz some ppl think they should be raised with the same ways of behaving and wonder why they have problems later down the line. I had the same thinking as you as far as why this was made tbh
She said we shouldn't try to put the onus on girls protecting themselves, but rather on the boys to be better men
Is that not an example of raising them differently?
She's using a different dictionary
Her statement itself is ridiculous and reeks of privilege
I'll never understand the idea of not wanting to be able to protect yourself, sure raising people go be better is a nice prospect but it's ultimately unrealistic. There will always be those who wish to harm others.
I think she meant equally where both girls are taught to look after themselves and guys are taught to be better men rather than the girl only having to watch her back
Not only that, but this type of raising reinforce gender roles on men. It pushes them back into being strong protectors and providers, which isn’t a bad thing, but these are the same ppl who think all gender roles, especially those imposed on women, are inherently evil. How is that any different from what you are expecting of men?
There's lots of factors that you'll need to take into consideration, such as personality, environment, who are their friends, kids being kids,etc.. You just can't treat them the same, simple.
Everybody needs to be raised differently, not just based on sex.
One child may need a beating, while one can learn from being spoken to.
@@TT-xz5sy beating someone just makes them resent you lol... Let them fail.
@@TT-xz5sy beating is just the parents’ last resort when they lack the skills to parent or were beaten themselves. Also, where I live you can get convicted when you beat a/ your child and for good reason. No kid needs beating when you parent them right from the start.
@@lilibeans7026 Exactly. If a child doesn't understand why your telling them off, they won't understand why your beating them
@@musicah8496 beating or whooping a kid doesn’t make them resent you unless it’s on an abusive level
As a parent, it is not your job to “match your child’s energy”. Your an adult, they are a child. You should be more mature than them and able to control and navigate your emotions better.
"this is a safe space" has only ever made me feel less comfortable. It's usually said when you're completely open -- tossed out like a seed of distrust that lands in the freshly plowed top-soil of your soul. But props to Jubiliee for stepping up with better content.
"this is a safe space"
Yeah, I was fine until you said that. Lol
I actually didnt see the issue with that. The girl may have felt uncomfortable crying ON THEIR SET during THEIR VIDEO SHOOT so a staff member telling her its ok was probably comforting for the girl to hear
@@CapeEniEer I personally think someone saying "this is a safe space" is completely opposite of "it's ok". It's more like "we'll look out that no-one here will beat you for saying that"
Now now, be open to your feelings, don’t repress it.
@@CapeEniEer Why not just say "It's ok" then, instead of "this is a safe space"?
It's the father job to assume the worst when it comes to his daughter because you have to remember that he was once a teenager too. He's done stupid things that he knows that her boyfriend or "friends" may pull. We live in a completely different world where a girl may be involved with more risks and etc. So I can understand where the father is coming from...
And not necessarily doing it, but we've seen it, we've have some messed up thoughts. That's why we will always assume some things.
I do agree with this, but you think since they seen it happen and some even did stupid stuff as a young guy, youd think they'd also teach their boys not to be the same way, but no, they just teach their girls to not trust any guy that walks her way.
@@sindy14031998 You cant really teach a rapist not to rape lmao...if someone just lacks empathy to do something like that, then theyre gonna try and do it the first oppurtunity they get anyway, no matter what you tell them...
If you have to teach your kid not to rape then either youre insane or the kid is insane if hes acting in that way at a young age.
Youre saying it as if rape is programmed in our heads as if we need to be told "dont rape"...my dad, or my mom never ever told me "hey son, dont rape"...i dont need to be taught not to rape lmao. I dont wanna rape because I DONT want to, its immoral, its not right. And if you need to teach your kid not to rape id say your kid isnt normal.
Honestly, as a kid, I can see now that the way I saw things as a teen was totally unrealistic, immature, naive, underdeveloped, fairytale-like, etc. but I thought I knew a lot more than my parents!
As an adult, I went back to watch some old tv shows I watched as a kid and teen, and they make me disappointed, bored, and cringe at what I couldn’t understand. For example, Newlyweds with Nick and Jessica made me cringe. I just wouldn’t care to tune into it as an adult because they’re clearly newlywed so their relationship was immature, Nick rolled his eyes a lot but seemed to be trying, Jessica was definitely not smart but thankfully honest; these are stages in life where I think people should be developing them privately and not to the world. Plus, the media craze that followed them afterwards was just sickening and devastating, but I was one the teenagers at the gossip rack saying, “Oh-em-gee...!” I assumed “that’s a healthy marriage because they’re celebrities!” 😑 I digress.
Children need adults who are deeply invested in good upbringing, even if the teen feels jipped or disagrees. Most parents try their best, and gearing up for the worst assumption isn’t bad. Like someone else said, be worried if the don’t care.
@@sindy14031998 Lots of boys are taught the right way to behave, but not all. It is about the severity of consequence. Women live in a world where roughly half the population could physically dominate them and have their way with them and some small percentage may try to do so, that is not the same world men live in. We literally live in two different realities.
9:15
“If you raise them equally”
Equal doesn’t mean identical
That seems to be where the misunderstanding comes from with these people
Kinda like a kg of feathers or a kg of lead, it's the same but different
its called equal opportunity but not equal outcome
I think a better term would be equity because it’s equal but meets the needs of each individual
actually fair
Sharing with someone what you're going through while showing them you have it under controle is a very great sign of strength.
Imagine being surprised that ur parents freaked out after you were out till midnight at 14
"it would never happen" - Such childlike naivety.
Exactly, if the guy really wanted her, and they live together, he's gonna find a way
The most dangerous statement anyone can say is "it would never happen to me though".
@Franca Wong It's inexpirience, not stupidity.
@Franca Wong it's naivity and inexpirience. someone that only had good experiences with the world and boys around her don't really think about the bad as they seem too far fetched. you can have all the knowledge in the world, if everything you hear is proven wrong day by day in your life it's normal to start to doubt it without the experience. labeling someone stupid just because you don't understand where they're coming from is actually stupid so congrats on that
@@lovely1641 She's gotta want it too tho. People say all the time that "guys are gonna wanna hook up" as if the other party doesn't have a say. That if anything made me scared of having male friends for a while.
"she can be just sitting but she's good looking, is that teasing?"
"yes"
NO!
People need to be educated in this sense - i remember my sister's boyfriend talking about how one of his female teachers dressed in a "provocative" way. I asked him if she wore tight clothes, tops that revealed her cleavage, short skirts, etc, and no, she didn't wear any of those things.
"What do you mean then, how did she dress provocatively?" and he starts describing a boat neckline top she once wore, so i asked if he felt she dressed provocatively just because she wore clothes that fit her well and made her look good "umm... yeah i guess"
This type of mentality is really concerning. Going from "she dresses well" to "she dresses in a provocative way" is the same type of reasoning that leads "she dresses in a provocative way" to "she was asking for it"
As a man, I'd like to add my humble 2 cents to your comment and I hope they're of some value to you. I thought what you said was both interesting, and to share a word you used, concerning.
I'm not surprised at all by what he said, can echo the same outlook personally, and in fact have an opinion (technically an opinion, but really it's my belief) further to this point: all men think this way.
I'm glad you heard it and even more so that it registered with you so much that you took note of it - especially as you come across as fairly young (correct me if I'm wrong). Also, good on him - you should know he answered your questions completely honestly. I can understand why you found it shocking, and can even understand why you came to the conclusion you did that had you very concerned after connecting some dots. Maybe fair to say concerned to the point it disturbed you. This is what I have a problem with. Especially when you made the 'she was asking for it' connection.
While I admit I think all men think this way, and while I agree with you that it is pretty gross and simple, it is by no means evil or inherently bad in any way. Just because we think this way, doesn't mean to say it defines us or dictates our actions.
I think you're right and wrong. You're right to be concerned. It would be wrong if that same concern became the basis for an ill suspicion of, and contempt for, all men.
Apologies for the novel. Awful and annoying habit of mine.
@@breadngravy3860 Thank you for your answer! It's good to get some insight on the matter. Though i can understand men (and women, cause we notice too) might be more interested in someone who knows how to dress in a way that is flattering, i found it weird that he'd say she was dressing provocatively.
What makes me then feel concerned is that in conversations where some men just feel a woman looks good, and others feel she's asking for it, both might simply say she's dressing in a provocative manner. The second group of men might see it as a comfirmation that yeah, she is asking for it.
I am aware some women dress in ways that show more skin and enjoy the attention that attracts, others may enjoy dressing like that but not the attention, and i'm not sure about how i would feel calling that provocative, because i understand... but there's also the intention behind it and i don't read minds.
But when it's just someone who dresses "well" who gets these comments, my mind is blown and not in a good way - saying something like that implies that the woman is trying to gain something from dressing like that, or that acting based on her outfit is somehow justified.
I don't expect you to agree, nor am i trying to convince you. But i think calling out these "innocent" comments might cause the people who say it not so innocently to think twice
@@WafflesLover95 like they said in the video when you get to that age for a guy the smallest stuff could make a guy feel some type of way like when he said a girl touches his arm i mean its really just like that i mean i understand it's weird but its the truth a girl could just simply look good and a guy is gonna be a guy it sounds ugly like that but its true but yes we are taught to restrain ourselves and we do need to work on it some more its just difficult at that age
@@goofydoober1319 i get that (x
And honestly, it's totally normal that you feel something just cause a cute girl touched your arm. But from that to saying she's teasing is the leap that concerns me.
She's just minding her own business, but because she looks good she's teasing? That's saying that she's purposefully (is that how you write it?) doing something to get your attention, to get you to lust after her. And it's fine you are giving that attention and lusting and whatever, just make sure you realize that those things might be coming from you alone, not her.
If she is teasing, it probably means she wants something with you. But if she's not don't get it confused
I don't think all men are bad, but i'm aware there are a few bad apples, and sometimes learning this type of distinction is enough to stop a lot of bad things from happening
I've literally only ever heard "she was asking for it" in a comedic way. Where are these men saying this seriously??
I’m glad my parents did not educate me to “be pretty and shut up”. They raised me to work on my talents, put myself out there and rewarded my achievements. It’s a lot of pressure, tho. And now I’m growing up and realizing how it shaped my sense of self. Like my only value was my achievements. They also lowkey shamed my sisters and I when we put on makeup and tried to be pretty. Which ironically backfired as me in my early 20’s wanting the approval of men even more cause I had repressed this part of me when it was time to explore it (my teens). It’s important to teach women to embrace their femininity, have good role models and for dads not to be affraid... be there for guidance and recognize they cannot shelter their daughters forever.
yesss...i totally agree...im in my early 20's right now and i feel so bad for not embracing my feminine side sooner...we shud learn to embrace our differences as men and women instead of trying to erase them....FEMININITY IS NOT WEAK
I would go as far as saying raising all kids different depending on their needs is important
Agree
" bUt eQuAlIty"
"wE sHoUlDnt hAvE tO cHaNge fOr sOCieTy"
@arts over humanity Now now, this comment section is a safe space.
The fucking pfp on top of that 🤣🤣🤣
Differently does not mean unequal
Feminist have already changed society
@@chadpowell1832 Read your statement, and again.
Wut?
This is a weird question. Not one kid should be raised the same as another kid. Every kid is an individual. 🤷🏼♀️
🤝🏿
Exactly what I was thinking!! 100%
I think you misunderstood of course not every kid should be raised the same but if you're letting your 14 yr son stay out for hours without contacting him and being like hes a boy he'll be fine but your 14 yr daughter you go above and beyond to get in contact freaking out because she's a girl and she cant handle herself like a boy can thats pretty unfair and bogus
@@purplebanana6420 not really kidnap for teenage boys isn't out the equation, them getting into drugs or in gangs aren't out the equation, something really terrible happen to them isn't out the equation. You should check on both for there Safety and having responsibility over them
@@purplebanana6420 exactly thank u. U understand me. Both literally have an equal chance of something happening to them while there out.
Being a Dad, this was very refreshing for me. Especially since my kids are still toddlers and one is a boy and the other a girl. It encouraged me in a sense because I share the same sentiment about girls being raised differently than boys but I was to make sure I reinforce the same values in them both. Explaining to my daughter on how to be careful when it comes the her male counterparts but at the same time showing my son how to not only have respect for himself and women as well. Its like killing two birds with one stone. Sending a strong aware citizen out in the world from both genders and them hopefully adding something meaningful and positive to society.
They should’ve gotten more adult daughters that are mothers themselves , or at least a range
Lol yes, but there target audience wants the girls of that age.
Yes. But. Please teach your daughter to change a tire. And work a chainsaw. Teach her how to drink safely. And drift her car. Not just say "that's boy stuff" because that's truly how you raise men and women differently. Yes. Women need to be safe. But teach them to be strong and fight. Teach them to have a back bone.
And teach them to say “No!” early and sincerely.
Girls should learn "boy's stuff" because it's part of being an adult. Same with "woman's work" it takes 2 to raise children and maintain a household. I'm in my 40's and my parents are still teaching me how to be a man.
Yes, I definitely agree. And teach your sons the responsibility of cooking, cleaning, and caring for a household properly. Basic life skills are needed for both boys and girls. Your kids will thank you, because when they're on their own they won't feel shocked from all the work they have to put in.
unless they're fighting another woman, 99% of the time the woman will lose a fight in self-defense. Obviously everyday lifeskills are useful to everyone. But cut the bullcrap on "women can do everything a man can do equally". We're different and that's okay.
Boys need to be taught the same how to protect themselves and be safe. More men are killed yearly by other men than women are. Bullies, predators evil doers bad shit in general does not discriminate on gender.
@@GottesKrieger I wasn't saying don't teach men these things. I was saying start normalizing it and teaching it to women as well. Everyone needs to know this shit. Hate doesn't care about race, gender, religon, sexual orientation... It's gonna happen regardless. I understand that. Im not dense. However. This topic is about women and how they are raised differently.
When the whole video pauses so they can sing modified 50 Cent lyrics.
Mom I want key and peele.
Mom: We have key and peele at home
Key and peele at home:
Only these guys are talented
Dude that is beautiful. 😂❤
lol when Aba said ‘stop talking Jafar’.... I’m dying.
Jafar looking like he is ready to become an oil baron at any time. Emotion is for the weak, a man does not show emotion, he shows strength, crush your enemies.
“That’s cap”.
“Jafar”!
😂😂😂
Done!
Here's a theory for Citlalli and Ben: she said that he told her that whatever energy she gave him, he would respond with that same energy. I think that's the reason why she watches what she says and how she says it. I've learned that as a parent, we are supposed to teach the child after deescalating the situation. If my son comes to me angry and yelling and if I respond with anger and yelling, then it's just going to make the situation worse.
She's just 14 and I remember how difficult it was for me to deal with my feelings and communicate healthily about it with my parents at that age. I think he wanted her talk to him without her getting angry but never really taught her how how to do that. So now she knows she shouldn't snap or shout at him but doesn't really know how to deal with the things she's feeling at that moment.
What i understood from that was that heeee has communication, and anger issues, and thats why she has anxiety being around him.
Sounds like its easy to tick him off.
Byeeee ben.
As a son, the way fathers tried to hide feelings away from their kids really resonated. The kids learned to do the same thing towards fathers, but against the father's will. I think that's why it's important to be both strong AND vulnerable (have both masculine and femenine qualities), and why context matters so much.
Men and women are different. It's okay for men to be manly and women to be womanly, so long as they're all being responsible adults. We don't raise children, we raise future adults.
My girlfriend of six years was “just a friend”.
@@griselgriselda2901 we were friends for like 6 months in the 8th grade and we have been in a relationship for 6 years, learn how to read hun.
@@griselgriselda2901 work on your reading comprehension
most relationships start out like that
Honestly, this shouldn't even be a debate.
I loved 2 father’s conversations they both were very reasonable they brought in facts .
This is one of those topics where the broad brush statement: boys and girls should be raised differently is objectively true but the details of what that entails is more controversial.
THAT is the context that's missing. Obviously you may not necessarily need to teach a boy how to insert a tampon (although it wouldn't hurt to know) but the core of how you raise children should generally be the same. I'd be uncomfortable with either of my children going to the corner store at night, going missing at midnight, or rooming with someone of the opposite sex.
Boys and girls are different therefore they are raised differently whether u like it or not.
@@MichaelCorleone365 Teach boys and girls how to be respectful
@@MichaelCorleone365 i can raise my daughter to know she has to work twice as hard to get the same respect as a man, I would still have a son and daughter both work hard to get an education. I would want them to both be successful. You can raise them differently but not treat them differently.
@@TomikaKelly where would the boys be inserting the tampon during the lesson?
From a women’s perspective, it’s difficult to form relationships and friendships with other men because of this difference in how your parents view you, it’s frustrating. I get fathers and mother’s will be more over protective of their daughters, but instead of limiting them by taking away the ability to be independent out of fear, they should instead teach their daughters to be safer and aware of the dangers so they can have the same opportunities that men do. A woman shouldn’t feel unable to do things, just more prepared for the worst.
Yes! This right here!
I'll add that if you have a male sibling(s) they should join in on the conversation and vise versa... This not only does help you prepare for the worst but also ever slightly decreases that possibility of that "worst" situation occurring.
Yeah no father's don't 'limit' daughters we do teach them about the dangers out there
@D. McFadden just because you don’t experience it/do it, doesn’t mean it never happens. That’s like saying racism doesn’t exist just because you’ve never experienced racism.
@@endm_ that is a ridiculous argument you don't know how fathers generally are plus everyone knows that mothers are more protective of sons than daughters that's a fact. Secondly, we don't hide anything when it comes to what guys are like so we teach them all the things they need to know so they are better equipped for dealing with them
When one gets into the REAL situation,everything changes.
@@WrathofFenrir99 exactly. When shit hits the fan. Everything changes.