What if you're single and you live by yourself? I wish I was 9 again when I didn't find girls attractive and only cared about playing with my Micro Machines. Girls were icky and I was so much more happier.
Someone told me after a breakup “You need be happy being single before you can ever be happy in a relationship”. Now, I didn’t understand what that meant until I watched your video. So thank you.
Hi, MrBAlex, our bodies are programmed to want sexual release, not to spend all our time with 1 person. Our bodies are not programmed to want a relationship. Our minds are programmed to want one by our society. All our minds ever do is create concepts of good and bad, perfect and imperfect, right and wrong, then compare everything we see, hear, touch to one of our ideas of good, perfect, right. Then we suffer. But our minds only do this until we discover that there is no such thing as bad
Being in a relationship is NOT the key to being happy. Living your life each day and enjoying it to the max is the key. People bring their own crap into your life...some people pray and ask God to bring them a man and then months later they pray and ask God to PLEASE take away that man. LOVE YOU FIRST.
Hello Noah, just wanted to say HUUUUGE thank you for all of your lovely videos. My very long term partner and my soulmate left me last weekend and I am absolutely destroyed, but your videos made me feel like you are talking directly to me. I started taking notes and i feel a tiny bit better every day. I still have a lot to get though , but your words are an absolute revelation, so please continue your great work, people like you are very important as you have a knowledge and power to help people getting through the pain and suffering. Thank you , thank you , thank you.
I'm going through a divorce right now with somebody I was with for 10 years and watching your videos has really helped me cope with my feelings and brought me out of darkness. I just want to say thank you so much for your videos.
While I understand your line of thought, a partner is a supportive role, which can support you through all these problems. Feeling alone can not be fixed by saying, that you don't need anyone, that your problems will still be there. Yes, they will, but they will be easier to handle with a person who respects, understands and loves you. Though I think, that the reason to enjoy every moment of your life is the best motivation. Whatever circumstances, make the best out of it. Things are how they are and sometimes we just have to accept our loneliness. It is just temporary. We have long lives and things will change.
The main reason there are so many people who are unhappy in relationships today is because our modern society promotes self. It is all about "me, me, me". What drives a healthy relationship is giving, not receiving. If you just want to receive and give very little or none at all, you are not relationship material and you may never be in a long lasting relationship. Saying that only you can make yourself happy is based on selfishness. Almost everybody nowadays is like "what can I get out of the relationship" instead of "what can I bring into the relationship". Not many people in today's society are capable of doing this and most can't even comprehend it. If you have this attitude, then you have no choice but to seek and find happiness alone because it is all about you, you, you.
I wish I had found your videos earlier. I could have avoided a couple of heartbreaks/mistakes. A few days ago I realised that, I am really very happy when I am single. I have hurt myself a couple of times when I was in relationships (over that, I dealt with depression for more than 15 years; from the age of 8) I feel that my expectations are unrealistic (they are very basic) for this generation. And moreover, I do not have even a single friend. Your videos are helping me build confidence, love myself and take care of myself. Thank you very much for your videos.
Noah there are another problems with your simple solution: 1. Evolutionary psychology - we tend to search and think about other partner/ potential partner as if we were programmed to do so (that's why the species is still alive). 2. People are very social creatures and part of it means that we are constantly looking at others and comparing ourselves to them (even on an unconscious level) and trying to be similar,be part of the group to not feel like an outcast.
I love being single all my life. I can work on myself and go back to school. I can focus on getting stuff done. I really am very happy and content. I don't need a man in my life to make me happy. My happiness starts with me and I am loving it. I can go out there and leave whenever I want to without being questioned.
In fact i feel unhayppy about being single and lonely especially when i do something great, like walking in nature, riding my bike, listening to great music, great concerts, even dancing lindy hop with my dance partners - everytime i do something great i have about 25 % joy and 75 % suffering because i cant share that joy with a romantic partner. Thats sometimes going so far that i dont want to do anything fun and enjoying anymore because that 75 % suffering hurts so much i rather dont do anything at all. A relationship definitely makes me happy, experience of my life. In fact i need a partner to be able to be happy alone, and i love being alone, doing all those things i mentioned alone - sometimes - works only if there is someone somewhere waiting for me.
You know this is simple truths that we all need to hear. Your videos are really helpful. Specially in a world where we are bombarded with what we should feel is success and what should make us happy. But you bring us right back down to hearth and help us realize it's all a matter of our own thoughts.
Noah Elkrief i am 25 years old , i am abuse when i am 25 years old in sex when my first time, she leave me automatically, but. now i am afraid to be married, my brain invited to fear what I shal do
Love your videos Noah, I am at the present moment, dealing with an imperfect romantic situation. And the only thing that gets me down are my thoughts. And what emotions I attach to those thoughts. Your really helping me immensely with your guidance. Have a lovely day
I have never been in a relationship but I was extremely close to one of my friends. We both shared feelings for each other but she would deny it after and would claim she is just saying that because she was too nervous around me. She then went off with someone else and tried to end our friendship, which she successfully did. I find it difficult to get close to anyone enough to have a relationship to form. It is my past that affects every possibility, people can just tell that I have a deep anger but I have never turned that anger on someone before. As much as I would want to get into a relationship I have always been told that my complex and messed up past will never get me with anyone and no one has even giving me that chance. I have considered even to abandon all hopes of ever getting one, I am not the sociable type so that doesnt help either. And thats my story.
Thank u so much Noah.. All your videos makes me a happier person and not relying on 'HIM' to be happy.. He treats me so bad and im gathering all courage to let it go... finally... :'(
Marriage cant make you happy.. ABSOLUTE WORD MY NIGGA. IM SCARED OF RELETIONSHIPP but I SOMETIMES WANT IT. NOW I JUST WANT TO BE single and happy and eat some cheeseburgers :)
C'mon, you can be totally happy on your own, but to share your happiness is paramount! And this is not a thought to be questioned, human beings are wired for intimate connection to be totally fulfilled.
I was a true believer in being happy all the time ...I could find something good in everything...I dated a guy for 6 months and my life and thinking completely changed...it seems I lived a complete lifetime during that time...today I stand clueless about how to get things back on track in life...it feels that something is stuck in my head or a part of my brain is frozen!!!
really thanks, i broke up with someone that was with me for i mean.. 4 years, i believed that he were the love of my life , well.. your video helped me a lot,im a lot calmer right now , im sad sometimes but i finally feel ok ^^ thanks for posting your amazing videos,never stop doing your work ! as you see your saving lots of persons !
When you are totally immersed in the activity you love, you will forget about meals and sleep, but that dosen't mean you don't need them at all. Is it possible that the need to love and be loved is a fundamental one, like when we feel hungry we need to have meals, when we feel tired we to have a sleep, when we feel lonely we just need love, we can distract ourselves for a while but eventually the tension won't be released until it is satisfied.
I am single, lonely, and feeling lost. I know that because of problems I experienced in childhood that singleness is the best way to live at this time. I accept that but I am not happy! I feel lonely and isolated! Right now I am in a state of anger, but I know eventually I will get my focus back where it belongs!
this guy is the best ... i've been hurted by a girl .. and i am 16 she said i was perfect for her but after 9 months i didnt made her happy anymore ...
Noah, This is relevant for those who have experience in being in relationships. What about those who have never been in a romantic relationship, like myself? What about those like me who wants someone to want them for more than just their body? What about those who seek not just a lover, but a lover, as well as a good friend? Quite honestly, we can have a lot of things that we can enjoy doing, and yes, they can take our minds off being single. However, those moments are temporary, and they don't change the reality of our singleness. You made mention in another comment about our bodies want and desire sexual release, which is very true. Yet, at the same time, just living for that cheapens the concept. What about intimacy that goes beyond the physical? What about true companionship with that special someone. You can't do that when your just living by your bodily desires.
Hi Brent, please watch my video about how to deal with loneliness or "how to stop feeling lacking and worried about being single". What you truly want is peace, and you have just been taught that a relationship/companionship will give you peace. But if relationship/companionship created peace, then everyone who has that would be in peace. But are they? No, of course not. And if being single created unhappiness, then you wouldn't be able to have the temporary moments of happiness. The temporary moments of happiness simply prove that unhappiness is created by thoughts and not by facts. So, if you want to be happy, you have to address thoughts and not facts. Good luck Brent!
Hi Ignozi, maybe. But, everyone just wants peace in their life. So, if you want peace, why not go directly to addressing what makes us suffer. Why do we need a relationship? The truth is that it doesn't make a difference to our peace whether we are in a relationship or not. So we can address our thoughts while single or married. People will always interpret every sentence in a million ways. All I can do is speak what I see. The rest isn't up to me.
I was always okay being single until the girl i really loved started dating someone else and then started giving a damn to whether i do really exist or not.
All i want to say when i manages myself to find your advice ,is Thanks in every word you say.it really help me find the answer.and looking forward to contenue follow you!!you have a bless life!!!you are good..
A lot of the time we imagine irrational circumstances. A perfect life, “if only i had *this* or *that* , then I’d be happy.” But we soon realize that we create illusions that sway our judgment. You want something because you feel the need to fill a void. A good reference is thinking of stuff you don’t want or things you’ve never had to begin with. Your mind and body alike will deceived you into a path of growth. It makes you feel as if you’re missing something and all you need is to get this one little breadcrumb. But theres a never ending trail. All you can do is take a step back an realize that you’ve been falling into this game the whole time. You don’t really need something, you just need to find out why you think you need it.
I'm happiest when I'm single but am made to feel "not normal" or I get the "what's wrong with you" that's what makes me feel unhappy. Most people are sheep and follow the crowd. It's sad
You are perfectly normal. Above and beyond--more and then some. Don't listen to people that bring you down, and don't listen to those thoughts. Analyze why those thoughts aren't true and discredit them. You're enough on your own without the belittlement of others.
Hi renegade, you say that you can't deal with it sometimes. Notice, the times when you can't deal with it are the times when you are telling a story to yourself about how you will never find someone, there must be something wrong with you, it is bad to not have a girl, or how much better life would be if you had a girlfriend. If being alone made you unhappy, then you would always feel unhappy while you were alone. If you want to be happy, address the true cause of you unhappiness. Thoughts.
I have been periods of time alone and I think one of the hardest things is when sexual desire arises. What can you tell us about that? thanks a lot for your help.
***** You can question what you're trying to escape, or you can satisfy the desire yourself. The idea that it would be better with someone else is based on a fantasy that it can make you happy, when it can't.
+Noah Elkrief Sometimes you want to satisfy your sexual arousal with sex _and_ love. Only a relationship can give you that. In my case, your solution is not viable. It's like feeling hungry and pretend to feel satisfied by only eating beans.
Every time I think that I’m better off single, here comes another girl in my life that I’ll have a crush on, even if it’s impossible to be with them. Enough of this game! I feel like the villain from the Hunchback of Norte Dame.
Noah Elkrief being single is a challenge for me. I'm single right now and I've been single ever since. I enjoy being single but I get jealous because other people have someone.
I don't want to be negative here. But I have a really hard time losing the thought that being single is bad. Not being very attractive but just... subpar is the only thing that lessens my self esteem on a daily basis. Everything else is fine actually. But, if every person can be truly happy on their own - why do they even bother to find partners? If it's not to make you happy(ier) there aren't many upsides, or are there?
I really enjoyed this video. It makes me realize that I really need to work on myself and focus on my inter thoughts to boost my self esteem so that my thoughts are positive. When my thoughts begin to be positive then I will be able to be happy alone or in a relationship. Thank you for making this.
You're welcome Bre. However, what I am speaking about is slightly different. It's not about making thoughts positive, but rather about discovering that the thoughts which create suffering aren't true.
its crazy that everything you said was in my head the same thoughts
8 років тому
I understand what you mean. Society is based on couples/families except for microwave dinners for the single working people for example. Lately I had to go to the city here in the Netherlands and found it exhausting, the only thing I did was trying not to run into people which were mostly couples or two women or whatever. Well, I could go on and on, it was nicer when I met my daughter and we could talk and share things. I have times when I am happy being single and not in another abusive relationship. On the other hand being single can change even numbers so when I got divorced, the married women avoided me. Then I met older single people who were suffering from being single and trying to entertain themselves and going places within their limitations. In the meantime three of those men are dead and I know for damn sure that part of their sickness was feeling lonely, living alone for so long. It takes good resources to make it on your own: courage, strength etc., health. Here in the Netherlands they say: shared suffering is half suffering, shared joy is double joy. There is a core of truth in this statement. Yet I know from my own personal experience that being in a toxic relationship does not give you that.
haha yea, my way is a bit different from the standard approach. But, when you look at it, it's really quite obvious that attractive partner and bigger business can't bring peace.
In simpler terms, perfection doesn’t exist. If your single now, you want to be in a relationship. When your in a relationship, you want to be in love. If your in love, you will be scared to that love. If your not scared to lose that love, something else will be there to make you feel unhappy. Whatever you do, perfection won’t exist. Just enjoy what you have now.
I like your face expressions and sound modulations... ha ha ha... i liked you mimicking the soliloquies of the sufferer ... However i'm relieved... thanks... :)
after 5yrs of relationship, im gonna be alone and single in a few weeks from now so.....,i guess im gonna watch a lot of your vids bec i felt good watching this vid. Thank you.
It also helps to just go out by yourself. Start small, by going to a cafe to eat lunch or drink coffee alone or go see a movie, then go bigger like going out to a bar to listen to live music by yourself. I'm single and I do this once or twice a week. I'm not looking to be picked up by any guys, and if people do try to hit on me, I let them know that I'm just there to drink good beer and listen to good music. Will people judge you? Probably. But just because they feel a certain way about you being out on your own doesn't mean YOU feel that way about being alone, and it's not their place to judge you anyways. Good luck!
Your videos are very insightful and thought provoking. I think you are not addressing a particular aspect of loneliness and being single though. My reason for wanting to be in a relationship is not to make me happy or 'complete' me. I was in a wonderful relationship and he died. As a single person, I have no one to be intimate with, sleep with, cuddle with, share my love with, share sex with, design a monogamous life with, travel with and just enjoy the day to day experiences that a good relationship offers. Granted, not all relationships are fulfilling but in the absence of a loving relationship, I am lonely, frustrated and yes it makes me question myself. I know I am an attractive, smart desirable woman, so why am I single? It's been years, and it's really starting to affect me. I have been reading, listening, working on my thoughts and basically trying to be OK as a single woman. It's a couples world and my heart is so sad. I believe life is better with a loving partner who enjoys your company, sleeping with you, being intimate with you and of course it's mutual. How can I let go of the desire to share my life with someone and just appreciate being alone, having no intimacy and no affection except from my dog?
Hi Susan, I understand what you're saying, but what you're not getting is that all of your suffering around this issue is created by one single idea "I believe life is better with a loving partner who enjoys your company, sleeping with you, being intimate with you and of course it's mutual." As long as you believe that, you will feel lacking when you don't have it. To see that this thought causes your suffering, and not the facts, notice that any moment without that thought, you are fine/content. To lose that thought, you have to really understand that the only cause of happiness and suffering is thoughts, and that a relationship can't eliminate thoughts.
Thank you for your response. I just noticed it. I totally agree with you and I've been working on this. It's hard to lose the thought when you're alone in the middle of the night or when all your friends are out with their husbands and you're not invited. I've been searching for ways to believe that my life is perfectly OK just the way it is. I'm trying to change the belief. Sometimes I think it's a groove in my brain.....it certainly is a groove in society. I was widowed very young. I loved our relationship, so that's where my belief comes from. I am tired of pain and anxiety. I keep trying, but I don't see much improvement. I will continue to watch your videos and I hope something clicks.......Any other thoughts? ....Susan
how to get immersed in thoughts or movie or yoga class all the time.i mean a time comes when u faces reality mean if u r wathing a movie u r fully living with the movie flow but when the seane ends or in interval u come back to ur mind
You may not believe me but there are lots of married women out there who feels lonely . I know this from experience . The usual complain is that their spouse are not being good listeners and getting very little affection from their spouse . There are also many attractive single women out there who's not into a relationship because men are so scared of asking them for dates . So , being happy has nothing to do whether you're single or married . It has everything to do with your daily thoughts in your mind .
I had enough of going throw the mood of up and down 50 times a day when I was in a relationship lol now I just want to focus on myself and achieve my own goal
Once you've been in a relationship and are honest enough to admit that it didn't give you the peace you're looking for, the next step is to focus on what makes you unhappy (thoughts)
Your videos have helped me more then the 100s of hours I've spent with psychologists.
same here!
Mitchell Hayes same...
I was just thinking that
Same here too
This is true!
What if you're single and you live by yourself? I wish I was 9 again when I didn't find girls attractive and only cared about playing with my Micro Machines. Girls were icky and I was so much more happier.
Sometimes I wish I was asexual.
Yeh dude i feel same thing as your.
You can stop paying attention to girls and focus on yourself... And be the way you want to be like when you were 9 or something x :)
@@catguy00 I am asexual and it sucks, people treat you like a freak and guys don't care about dating you without having sex
@@AstroMartine If you don't mind my asking why would you still be interested in dating?
Someone told me after a breakup “You need be happy being single before you can ever be happy in a relationship”. Now, I didn’t understand what that meant until I watched your video. So thank you.
Hi, MrBAlex, our bodies are programmed to want sexual release, not to spend all our time with 1 person. Our bodies are not programmed to want a relationship. Our minds are programmed to want one by our society.
All our minds ever do is create concepts of good and bad, perfect and imperfect, right and wrong, then compare everything we see, hear, touch to one of our ideas of good, perfect, right. Then we suffer. But our minds only do this until we discover that there is no such thing as bad
U r really a great person your videos helped me a lot to overcome from depression
Being in a relationship is NOT the key to being happy. Living your life each day and enjoying it to the max is the key. People bring their own crap into your life...some people pray and ask God to bring them a man and then months later they pray and ask God to PLEASE take away that man. LOVE YOU FIRST.
Thank you for this video. I would rather be single than be treated like an option.
+AllThatKazz yeah so would i - when you say the shity things you do
Yup me too
This man is a freaking GOD, he has helped me through some terrible times.
Hello Noah, just wanted to say HUUUUGE thank you for all of your lovely videos.
My very long term partner and my soulmate left me last weekend and I am absolutely destroyed, but your videos made me feel like you are talking directly to me. I started taking notes and i feel a tiny bit better every day. I still have a lot to get though , but your words are an absolute revelation, so please continue your great work, people like you are very important as you have a knowledge and power to help people getting through the pain and suffering. Thank you , thank you , thank you.
You're very welcome Edgar. I'm glad I could help, and thanks for sharing with me
...single is GREAT....liberated!!
Donna Perry :)
I agree 👍
You're amazing, I love the way you make people realise
amanda malik
It just goes to show that we can only experience anything with our thoughts good or bad, not the circumstances.
I'm going through a divorce right now with somebody I was with for 10 years and watching your videos has really helped me cope with my feelings and brought me out of darkness. I just want to say thank you so much for your videos.
You're very welcome Danielle. It is my pleasure to have helped you in this situation.
"How" to be happy single? Just being single works for me.
Thats exactly what i thought lol
While I understand your line of thought, a partner is a supportive role, which can support you through all these problems. Feeling alone can not be fixed by saying, that you don't need anyone, that your problems will still be there. Yes, they will, but they will be easier to handle with a person who respects, understands and loves you. Though I think, that the reason to enjoy every moment of your life is the best motivation. Whatever circumstances, make the best out of it. Things are how they are and sometimes we just have to accept our loneliness. It is just temporary. We have long lives and things will change.
Love your explanation, great comment.
The main reason there are so many people who are unhappy in relationships today is because our modern society promotes self. It is all about "me, me, me". What drives a healthy relationship is giving, not receiving. If you just want to receive and give very little or none at all, you are not relationship material and you may never be in a long lasting relationship. Saying that only you can make yourself happy is based on selfishness. Almost everybody nowadays is like "what can I get out of the relationship" instead of "what can I bring into the relationship". Not many people in today's society are capable of doing this and most can't even comprehend it. If you have this attitude, then you have no choice but to seek and find happiness alone because it is all about you, you, you.
Can I quote you on Facebook? I want to post your comment there. This is one heck of a good comment that you wrote.
Sure. You are welcome to do so.
patrisio3 Thank you. Check out my Facebook channel Nicola Reddwoodd.
Cool. Will do. :)
This is so powerful, holy crap. Thanks for the strong words, I couldn’t have done it without you.
Noah elkrief is seriously one of the best helpful speaker that I have come across.. he is very simple and astoundingly helpful. Thank you Noah..
You have been a BIG blessing to me Noah!
Ur better than a psychologist ...ur videos give me peace calmness I wish u lots of happiness love from India
I wish I had found your videos earlier. I could have avoided a couple of heartbreaks/mistakes. A few days ago I realised that, I am really very happy when I am single. I have hurt myself a couple of times when I was in relationships (over that, I dealt with depression for more than 15 years; from the age of 8) I feel that my expectations are unrealistic (they are very basic) for this generation. And moreover, I do not have even a single friend. Your videos are helping me build confidence, love myself and take care of myself. Thank you very much for your videos.
Noah there are another problems with your simple solution:
1. Evolutionary psychology - we tend to search and think about other partner/ potential partner as if we were programmed to do so (that's why the species is still alive).
2. People are very social creatures and part of it means that we are constantly looking at others and comparing ourselves to them (even on an unconscious level) and trying to be similar,be part of the group to not feel like an outcast.
I love being single all my life. I can work on myself and go back to school. I can focus on getting stuff done. I really am very happy and content. I don't need a man in my life to make me happy. My happiness starts with me and I am loving it. I can go out there and leave whenever I want to without being questioned.
So why are you here ???
In fact i feel unhayppy about being single and lonely especially when i do something great, like walking in nature, riding my bike, listening to great music, great concerts, even dancing lindy hop with my dance partners - everytime i do something great i have about 25 % joy and 75 % suffering because i cant share that joy with a romantic partner. Thats sometimes going so far that i dont want to do anything fun and enjoying anymore because that 75 % suffering hurts so much i rather dont do anything at all.
A relationship definitely makes me happy, experience of my life. In fact i need a partner to be able to be happy alone, and i love being alone, doing all those things i mentioned alone - sometimes - works only if there is someone somewhere waiting for me.
You know this is simple truths that we all need to hear. Your videos are really helpful. Specially in a world where we are bombarded with what we should feel is success and what should make us happy. But you bring us right back down to hearth and help us realize it's all a matter of our own thoughts.
thank you love!!!! I've been single for ten yrs!!! but i will only think happy thoughts
Karina Ferrari
Karina Ferrari If you want to come and hug and kiss on me I'm available
Karina Ferrari And for the rest of your life ? And for old age ?
Thank you so much, it's absolutely genius & simple. your words made me realize something important. I wish I had found your videos earlier
Sahara Dune You're welcome Sahara, thanks for sharing
+Noah Elkrief I am blessed by this and your other videos: keep up the good work.
Noah Elkrief i am 25 years old , i am abuse when i am 25 years old in sex when my first time, she leave me automatically, but. now i am afraid to be married, my brain invited to fear what I shal do
Love your videos Noah, I am at the present moment, dealing with an imperfect romantic situation. And the only thing that gets me down are my thoughts. And what emotions I attach to those thoughts. Your really helping me immensely with your guidance. Have a lovely day
Thank you. I am finding your videos very useful and helpful.
I have never been in a relationship but I was extremely close to one of my friends. We both shared feelings for each other but she would deny it after and would claim she is just saying that because she was too nervous around me. She then went off with someone else and tried to end our friendship, which she successfully did.
I find it difficult to get close to anyone enough to have a relationship to form. It is my past that affects every possibility, people can just tell that I have a deep anger but I have never turned that anger on someone before. As much as I would want to get into a relationship I have always been told that my complex and messed up past will never get me with anyone and no one has even giving me that chance.
I have considered even to abandon all hopes of ever getting one, I am not the sociable type so that doesnt help either. And thats my story.
It's AWESOME being single!!
Thank you!
Thank u so much Noah.. All your videos makes me a happier person and not relying on 'HIM' to be happy.. He treats me so bad and im gathering all courage to let it go... finally... :'(
Sharifah Abdullah Glad I could help Sharifah
Marriage cant make you happy.. ABSOLUTE WORD MY NIGGA. IM SCARED OF RELETIONSHIPP but I SOMETIMES WANT IT. NOW I JUST WANT TO BE single and happy and eat some cheeseburgers :)
AlexanderPews 😂👍🏼
C'mon, you can be totally happy on your own, but to share your happiness is paramount! And this is not a thought to be questioned, human beings are wired for intimate connection to be totally fulfilled.
I was a true believer in being happy all the time ...I could find something good in everything...I dated a guy for 6 months and my life and thinking completely changed...it seems I lived a complete lifetime during that time...today I stand clueless about how to get things back on track in life...it feels that something is stuck in my head or a part of my brain is frozen!!!
really thanks, i broke up with someone that was with me for i mean.. 4 years, i believed that he were the love of my life , well.. your video helped me a lot,im a lot calmer right now , im sad sometimes but i finally feel ok ^^ thanks for posting your amazing videos,never stop doing your work ! as you see your saving lots of persons !
When you are totally immersed in the activity you love, you will forget about meals and sleep, but that dosen't mean you don't need them at all. Is it possible that the need to love and be loved is a fundamental one, like when we feel hungry we need to have meals, when we feel tired we to have a sleep, when we feel lonely we just need love, we can distract ourselves for a while but eventually the tension won't be released until it is satisfied.
I am single, lonely, and feeling lost. I know that because of problems I experienced in childhood that singleness is the best way to live at this time. I accept that but I am not happy! I feel lonely and isolated! Right now I am in a state of anger, but I know eventually I will get my focus back where it belongs!
Ive seen almost all of your video's in the past two days and i can already tell it changed my life. Thoughts are thoughts. Thank you. For real ❤
oh my god..u r just brilliant man..the way u talk..tht calculated look..everything adds up to be a best video ever!!
you know what brother................you are awesome .thanx alot for this video
You're welcome Vimal!
I'm just tired of being single that's why loved the video
u look gud.. but yea I'm tired of being single to
thanks
Thanks
I love watching movies and playing sports especially bowling and swimming.
such a simple concept but not understood by most. thank u sm
I truly enjoyed this video. I think this is truly what I needed to hear in the wake of my recent break up. Thank you.
this guy is the best ... i've been hurted by a girl .. and i am 16 she said i was perfect for her but after 9 months i didnt made her happy anymore ...
Try watching my how to deal with a break up video
Thank you Buddy..really helped me. You've given me another angle to think about.
Noah,
This is relevant for those who have experience in being in relationships. What about those who have never been in a romantic relationship, like myself? What about those like me who wants someone to want them for more than just their body?
What about those who seek not just a lover, but a lover, as well as a good friend?
Quite honestly, we can have a lot of things that we can enjoy doing, and yes, they can take our minds off being single. However, those moments are temporary, and they don't change the reality of our singleness.
You made mention in another comment about our bodies want and desire sexual release, which is very true. Yet, at the same time, just living for that cheapens the concept. What about intimacy that goes beyond the physical? What about true companionship with that special someone. You can't do that when your just living by your bodily desires.
Hi Brent, please watch my video about how to deal with loneliness or "how to stop feeling lacking and worried about being single". What you truly want is peace, and you have just been taught that a relationship/companionship will give you peace. But if relationship/companionship created peace, then everyone who has that would be in peace. But are they? No, of course not. And if being single created unhappiness, then you wouldn't be able to have the temporary moments of happiness. The temporary moments of happiness simply prove that unhappiness is created by thoughts and not by facts. So, if you want to be happy, you have to address thoughts and not facts. Good luck Brent!
Noah Elkrief: this video is REALLY IMPORTANT!
Thanks Noah, you helped me get over a break up
Very simplistic, I would disagree some things you sayed, but I have learned new stuff.
Hi Ignozi, maybe. But, everyone just wants peace in their life. So, if you want peace, why not go directly to addressing what makes us suffer. Why do we need a relationship? The truth is that it doesn't make a difference to our peace whether we are in a relationship or not. So we can address our thoughts while single or married. People will always interpret every sentence in a million ways. All I can do is speak what I see. The rest isn't up to me.
I visit this video from time to time just to make myself little better
I was always okay being single until the girl i really loved started dating someone else and then started giving a damn to whether i do really exist or not.
You are doing a good thing. Thank you Mr. Elkrief
All i want to say when i manages myself to find your advice ,is Thanks in every word you say.it really help me find the answer.and looking forward to contenue follow you!!you have a bless life!!!you are good..
A lot of the time we imagine irrational circumstances. A perfect life, “if only i had *this* or *that* , then I’d be happy.” But we soon realize that we create illusions that sway our judgment. You want something because you feel the need to fill a void. A good reference is thinking of stuff you don’t want or things you’ve never had to begin with. Your mind and body alike will deceived you into a path of growth. It makes you feel as if you’re missing something and all you need is to get this one little breadcrumb. But theres a never ending trail. All you can do is take a step back an realize that you’ve been falling into this game the whole time. You don’t really need something, you just need to find out why you think you need it.
Thank you Noah, not first time i see this video but im still learning a lot from it. You are so right!
I never been in a relationship and that's what makes me depressed.it was helpful but still i missed something to move my mind.
I'm happiest when I'm single but am made to feel "not normal" or I get the "what's wrong with you" that's what makes me feel unhappy. Most people are sheep and follow the crowd. It's sad
You are perfectly normal. Above and beyond--more and then some. Don't listen to people that bring you down, and don't listen to those thoughts. Analyze why those thoughts aren't true and discredit them. You're enough on your own without the belittlement of others.
Right on the money...
Thanks, i am loving your stuff...
Hi renegade, you say that you can't deal with it sometimes. Notice, the times when you can't deal with it are the times when you are telling a story to yourself about how you will never find someone, there must be something wrong with you, it is bad to not have a girl, or how much better life would be if you had a girlfriend. If being alone made you unhappy, then you would always feel unhappy while you were alone. If you want to be happy, address the true cause of you unhappiness. Thoughts.
The road to finding oneself again may be challenging, but most certainly worth wild!
If u r in a relationship ur hapiness will become dependent. Im single & i felt little bit emptiness in my life. After watching this, Im back. 🙌😜
Thanks man. I really needed to hear that. Your advice is very realistic and I found it incredibly helpful. I'm gonna subscribe now.
What about physical affection? Isn't a lack of that (which some ppl value) means one isn't as happy as they could be..
I have been periods of time alone and I think one of the hardest things is when sexual desire arises. What can you tell us about that? thanks a lot for your help.
***** You can question what you're trying to escape, or you can satisfy the desire yourself. The idea that it would be better with someone else is based on a fantasy that it can make you happy, when it can't.
+Noah Elkrief Sometimes you want to satisfy your sexual arousal with sex _and_ love. Only a relationship can give you that. In my case, your solution is not viable. It's like feeling hungry and pretend to feel satisfied by only eating beans.
Thanks a lot to u man for uploading this video.It solved my many problems I was facing while being alone. Sending you so much love from India.
Every time I think that I’m better off single, here comes another girl in my life that I’ll have a crush on, even if it’s impossible to be with them.
Enough of this game!
I feel like the villain from the Hunchback of Norte Dame.
I think the key is to give and love others. ❤️
I’m happy being single because it never would’ve worked out with me and my ex-girlfriend Tracci Ludwick because of distance and health issues.
Noah Elkrief being single is a challenge for me. I'm single right now and I've been single ever since. I enjoy being single but I get jealous because other people have someone.
Thank you Noah. Yet another really inspiring video. They are really helpful x
I don't want to be negative here. But I have a really hard time losing the thought that being single is bad. Not being very attractive but just... subpar is the only thing that lessens my self esteem on a daily basis. Everything else is fine actually.
But, if every person can be truly happy on their own - why do they even bother to find partners? If it's not to make you happy(ier) there aren't many upsides, or are there?
did help, you're wonderful. thank you :)
Jay Jay You're welcome Jay
I really enjoyed this video. It makes me realize that I really need to work on myself and focus on my inter thoughts to boost my self esteem so that my thoughts are positive. When my thoughts begin to be positive then I will be able to be happy alone or in a relationship. Thank you for making this.
You're welcome Bre. However, what I am speaking about is slightly different. It's not about making thoughts positive, but rather about discovering that the thoughts which create suffering aren't true.
You are my therapist
Thank you 🙏
its crazy that everything you said was in my head the same thoughts
I understand what you mean. Society is based on couples/families except for microwave dinners for the single working people for example. Lately I had to go to the city here in the Netherlands and found it exhausting, the only thing I did was trying not to run into people which were mostly couples or two women or whatever. Well, I could go on and on, it was nicer when I met my daughter and we could talk and share things. I have times when I am happy being single and not in another abusive relationship. On the other hand being single can change even numbers so when I got divorced, the married women avoided me. Then I met older single people who were suffering from being single and trying to entertain themselves and going places within their limitations. In the meantime three of those men are dead and I know for damn sure that part of their sickness was feeling lonely, living alone for so long. It takes good resources to make it on your own: courage, strength etc., health. Here in the Netherlands they say: shared suffering is half suffering, shared joy is double joy. There is a core of truth in this statement. Yet I know from my own personal experience that being in a toxic relationship does not give you that.
haha yea, my way is a bit different from the standard approach. But, when you look at it, it's really quite obvious that attractive partner and bigger business can't bring peace.
Thanks for your wise words...several partners passed in tragic ways and I found it hard to deal with...your words certainly helped :)
In simpler terms, perfection doesn’t exist. If your single now, you want to be in a relationship. When your in a relationship, you want to be in love. If your in love, you will be scared to that love. If your not scared to lose that love, something else will be there to make you feel unhappy. Whatever you do, perfection won’t exist. Just enjoy what you have now.
You're a genius, mister Elkrief 😊 your videos helped me a lot 😊 thank you
Great man! I love you man ;) keep doing these philosophical videos it helps so much. good luck
Thanks you Noah for the great video, it made me think a bit about my situation since separation from my wife. Many thanks Simon
Noah,
Thank you. Your video's are really helpfull and made get over a heart break really fast. Thank you very much
I like your face expressions and sound modulations... ha ha ha... i liked you mimicking the soliloquies of the sufferer ... However i'm relieved... thanks... :)
devgowri I like how you use technical words to describe how I talk haha
after 5yrs of relationship, im gonna be alone and single in a few weeks from now so.....,i guess im gonna watch a lot of your vids bec i felt good watching this vid.
Thank you.
I welcome you to my channel
It also helps to just go out by yourself. Start small, by going to a cafe to eat lunch or drink coffee alone or go see a movie, then go bigger like going out to a bar to listen to live music by yourself. I'm single and I do this once or twice a week. I'm not looking to be picked up by any guys, and if people do try to hit on me, I let them know that I'm just there to drink good beer and listen to good music. Will people judge you? Probably. But just because they feel a certain way about you being out on your own doesn't mean YOU feel that way about being alone, and it's not their place to judge you anyways.
Good luck!
escapist11 - thank you very much for the advice,i really appreciate it,thank you!thank you!
I’m happy being single because I don’t want to be tied down by anyone and have them tell me what to do.
Your videos are very insightful and thought provoking. I think you are not addressing a particular aspect of loneliness and being single though. My reason for wanting to be in a relationship is not to make me happy or 'complete' me. I was in a wonderful relationship and he died. As a single person, I have no one to be intimate with, sleep with, cuddle with, share my love with, share sex with, design a monogamous life with, travel with and just enjoy the day to day experiences that a good relationship offers. Granted, not all relationships are fulfilling but in the absence of a loving relationship, I am lonely, frustrated and yes it makes me question myself. I know I am an attractive, smart desirable woman, so why am I single? It's been years, and it's really starting to affect me. I have been reading, listening, working on my thoughts and basically trying to be OK as a single woman. It's a couples world and my heart is so sad. I believe life is better with a loving partner who enjoys your company, sleeping with you, being intimate with you and of course it's mutual. How can I let go of the desire to share my life with someone and just appreciate being alone, having no intimacy and no affection except from my dog?
Hi Susan, I understand what you're saying, but what you're not getting is that all of your suffering around this issue is created by one single idea "I believe life is better with a loving partner who enjoys your company, sleeping with you, being intimate with you and of course it's mutual." As long as you believe that, you will feel lacking when you don't have it. To see that this thought causes your suffering, and not the facts, notice that any moment without that thought, you are fine/content. To lose that thought, you have to really understand that the only cause of happiness and suffering is thoughts, and that a relationship can't eliminate thoughts.
Thank you for your response. I just noticed it. I totally agree with you and I've been working on this. It's hard to lose the thought when you're alone in the middle of the night or when all your friends are out with their husbands and you're not invited. I've been searching for ways to believe that my life is perfectly OK just the way it is. I'm trying to change the belief. Sometimes I think it's a groove in my brain.....it certainly is a groove in society. I was widowed very young. I loved our relationship, so that's where my belief comes from. I am tired of pain and anxiety. I keep trying, but I don't see much improvement. I will continue to watch your videos and I hope something clicks.......Any other thoughts?
....Susan
I love your videos
you made my life easier!
thank you so much!😊
you're awesome man. thank you so much. good vibes bro
I wish you still posted videos
Omg you are on point!
Hi Saundra, glad you liked the video.
how to get immersed in thoughts or movie or yoga class all the time.i mean a time comes when u faces reality mean if u r wathing a movie u r fully living with the movie flow but when the seane ends or in interval u come back to ur mind
Wow. You make some real sense.
Thank you.
You may not believe me but there are lots of married women out there who feels lonely . I know this from experience . The usual complain is that their spouse are not being good listeners and getting very little affection from their spouse . There are also many attractive single women out there who's not into a relationship because men are so scared of asking them for dates . So , being happy has nothing to do whether you're single or married . It has everything to do with your daily thoughts in your mind .
Thanks for this I really needed it 😌
This was Awesome!!! Thank you for posting!
Thank you. Your topics are brilliant
I had enough of going throw the mood of up and down 50 times a day when I was in a relationship lol now I just want to focus on myself and achieve my own goal
Once you've been in a relationship and are honest enough to admit that it didn't give you the peace you're looking for, the next step is to focus on what makes you unhappy (thoughts)