Awareness of self is one of the biggest existential double-edged swords in human psychology; Yes it’s necessary and yes it develops naturally, but it’s hard to convince myself that it’s equally good as it is unpleasant. Having an incessant nagging voice in your head relaying every perceivable flaw you have (from your own perspective, most people don’t see the same flaws as we do ourselves) is exhausting and impossible to satiate, lest you can magically disregard every social expectation we have. Connecting with genuine friends and keeping busy with passions/hobbies is all I can manage to dilute my thoughts, and even then it’s a mission. You already mentioned what you’d be utilising as your support, so if you met with a friend then that’s sweet, but either way I really hope things ease up and your mind can give itself a break from the unnecessary criticism/self-reflection. Much love 🫶🫰
I love that you see darkness in your being. I almost drowned in mine while exploring it in the hopes of finding what I want. My selfworth comes from me acting in accordance with my nature. Being virtuous even if I feel like I could just burn the world. I learned to trust myself day to day, to such an extend, that even in my dreams, I know that I can relay on my character to navigate the world with truth and justice. Ignorance is not bliss. Rejoice in your ability to bear a hard burden. Its the hardship that builds your character. I want to recommend the writings of a old roman emperor named Marcus Aurelius. In his Meditations, he writes down for himself quotes, that make life not only manageable, but actually worth living. Peace can be found in the retread of your own soul. You can have a better life than you have right now, because you can become a better person than you are. And I dont mean „increase in social pressure“ but a reremembereing of your own values and beliefs. Keep articulating them, keep reflecting on them. It changed me so much in the last 8 years. Embrace your gift to see your shortcommings. Sweet soul. Greetings ;)
Awareness of self is one of the biggest existential double-edged swords in human psychology; Yes it’s necessary and yes it develops naturally, but it’s hard to convince myself that it’s equally good as it is unpleasant. Having an incessant nagging voice in your head relaying every perceivable flaw you have (from your own perspective, most people don’t see the same flaws as we do ourselves) is exhausting and impossible to satiate, lest you can magically disregard every social expectation we have. Connecting with genuine friends and keeping busy with passions/hobbies is all I can manage to dilute my thoughts, and even then it’s a mission. You already mentioned what you’d be utilising as your support, so if you met with a friend then that’s sweet, but either way I really hope things ease up and your mind can give itself a break from the unnecessary criticism/self-reflection. Much love 🫶🫰
I love that you see darkness in your being. I almost drowned in mine while exploring it in the hopes of finding what I want. My selfworth comes from me acting in accordance with my nature. Being virtuous even if I feel like I could just burn the world. I learned to trust myself day to day, to such an extend, that even in my dreams, I know that I can relay on my character to navigate the world with truth and justice. Ignorance is not bliss. Rejoice in your ability to bear a hard burden. Its the hardship that builds your character. I want to recommend the writings of a old roman emperor named Marcus Aurelius. In his Meditations, he writes down for himself quotes, that make life not only manageable, but actually worth living. Peace can be found in the retread of your own soul. You can have a better life than you have right now, because you can become a better person than you are. And I dont mean „increase in social pressure“ but a reremembereing of your own values and beliefs. Keep articulating them, keep reflecting on them. It changed me so much in the last 8 years. Embrace your gift to see your shortcommings.
Sweet soul. Greetings ;)
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