Is marriage dead?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Marriage rates are in decline. Lou looks at how economics and cultural trends have led fewer and fewer people to say, “I do” - and why that’s not a bad thing.
SOURCES & FURTHER READING
Pew “Record Share of Americans Have Never Been Married”
www.pewsocialtr...
Pew Facts About Love & Marriage
abcnews.go.com...
Pew Social Trends Parenting in America
www.pewsocialtr...
Wilcox & Wang on the “Marriage Divide”
ifstudies.org/...
Wilcox on the role of culture in marriage rates
ifstudies.org/...
Autor’s study on manufacturing labor market and the decline in marriage
gps.ucsd.edu/_...
Coontz on unmarried Americans
www.cnn.com/20...
Countries with legalized gay marriage
abcnews.go.com...
Marriage trends in Europe
ec.europa.eu/eu...
Marriage trends in Asia
www.scmp.com/n...
Marriage trends in North America
www.pewresearch...
Marriage trends in Australia
thewest.com.au...
Marriage trends in the Middle East
www.brookings....
CREDITS
Writer: Louis Foglia
Editor: m.cho
Researcher: Dushyant Naresh
Supervising Producer: Allison Brown
Follow Beme on
Instagram: / bemenews
Twitter: / bemeapp
Facebook: / officialbeme
Missed opportunity to say "I'ma go see my wife" at the end of the video!
Damn, true.
doing so would leave a distasteful elitist i’m better than most of you who aren’t in a economically advantageous position to be married slant to an otherwise well balanced piece. considering the point is to present a neutral perspective as opposed to a heavily bias one, no opportunity was lost, if anything disaster averted 👏 Louis Foglia
marriage is stupid
Good analysis. The problem is social and economic for men mainly. So what is the solution?
J Baron Solution: Return legal and financial authority to husbands such that it is commensurate with their legal and financial responsibility and accountability under the law.
This will never happen since women want the upper hand, provided courtesy of the state.
Men do not marry women. They marry the state.
Marriage is temporary; divorce lasts forever.
Uhhh looks like someone hasn’t watched the Parent Trap
Brilliant
Lol everything's temporary well all be dead within 100 years or less.
It's all about the money, money, money
money & looks
Would be great to see an episode about romantic love and how it is slowly dying with every generation
Mauro angst good, romantic love is naive, immature, and fleeting.
You missed the male side of the coin. Men are skipping out of marriage because as women join the workforce they don't become homemakers which I think is at least equal to what you say about men making less money.
mmm I have always found this stupid what don't you just both become the homemakers a team
theAppleWizz I agree. But traditional marriage were men work. Women cold rear. That was the social contract. Without that what's the benefit of marriage, a tax break? Any benefit if which is outwwighed by the loses incurred by divorce.
That's the point. There's no benefit of marriage for the guy.
@@theAppleWizz It is extremely valuable to have a parent taking care of a young child until they can go to pre-school. Woman are naturally tallented at it.
my parents both work, it doesn't work that way. both come home tired and want to just eat and sleep. they argue on what chores to do. in the end we have to do most chores and sometimes make dinner. i dont know about others, i'm just telling my exp.
Dating coaches and counselors are telling people that marriages are not important anymore. Living single is best for people than marriage.
I got a vasectomy at 18 and am in my 60s now and never fallen for this trap..I'm semi retired, an avid world traveller and the body and mind of a 30 year old..life is good!
Marriage isn't completely dead yet, but it's dying at a rapid rate. All due to biased laws and judgments against men surrounding surrounding divorce in the United states. Since it's mainly men who are opting out of marriage because men are waking up to the fact that marriage has absolutely nothing to do with love, emotions, sex, children and family. Marriage in and of itself does not relate to any of these things. More men are seeing marriage for what it really is, a legal binding contract of their assests and finances. Until alimony is permanently abolished from coast to coast and until no man has to share, divide any assets or monitary investments, (such as 401k) in a divorce, and has an unalienated right by law to see his children then marriage will become extinct in the United States. What is appealing about a legal binding contract that gives all your stuff and money away ? What's appealing about inviting the government into your bedroom or family ? Marriage is only appealing to a woman because she gains everything and the man loses everything. Its all loss and no reward. No man walking and breathing at any moment can give even one single good reason to get married or be married. Not one.
This was incredibly informative, good job 👍🏻
Hey Lou just want to say that this channel has kept a high standard of video quality especialy on the editors side, which reminds me of vinny from bon apettie exept your is set to a much more serious tone. Keep the vids comming. This is why i subscribed.
Another great subject! Keep it up Beme!
Great work, Lou and company. Thank you.
Marriage doesn’t mean anything- it’s just a label..
Oh wait - it’s worse than that ! Its actually is different - it gives the women everything and a man nothing
So now think about - why would any sensible men put themselves into a marriage contract - when the contract is
Tilted against men.... that’s why successful men do not get married
Skip marriage. Skip divorce courts.
I love how you always upload before I have to go to work
Marriage??? Pfft... Make Money & Enjoy Life With No Strings Attached!!!
Women are told they dont need a husband or family to be fulfilled just a great job, men fear the loss of financial stability in marriage or a divorce, there are so many reasons to avoid marriage. Men want families without the restriction of monogamy or financial debt and women dont really want to be tied to a man just for financial stability. So women take care of themselves and dont see a need for a marriage and men make children without marriage so dont see the need for it.
Can confirm that it's insanely difficult to provide for a family.
taiwan too. even though taiwan is still being disputed, homosexual marriage is legal.
Another angle could be that marriages where more a thing the rich did, and many people into the 1800s were not so much married by law then by common law.
Marriage was something that may have risen, and is falling, with the middle class, going forward.
That end credits video, is that a real thing or from a movie? Need source.
I live next to a university that is almost 75% female I’d be more excited about feminism if I could flurt with one of them with out getting asked how much I make ( I’m actually really cute)
1:18 LMFAO
Marriage isn't dead.... yet!
I’m pretty sure our culture is on the decline. Nonetheless, great video.
Although some of his arguments are somewhat informative and debatable, I think he forgot about the rise of feminism and the demonization of the patriarchy. Thus leading the way to the increase in divorce culture and decline of marriages.
Was married at 24... best decision I ever made.
How quaint!
do you mean got not was?
Knock on wood
So you're 25 now?
Y'all are salty LOL
Really interesting perspective, society is changing, not necessarily for worse.
I don't know if you can say "divorce is on the decline" if you look at the figure your presented, marriage rate is declining faster than divorce. It's seems like likelihood of divorce is same for married couples even though overall number is reduced.
Maybe this clarifies: www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/anderson-divorce-rate-us-geo-2015-fp-16-21.html
thank you, i must have misunderstood the graohic. Love the channel! p.s. do you think you can number the sources for easy reference?
Feminazism is to blame
Until the free world undergoes a real reduction in gross inflation the number of people entering into marriages or more accurately civil unions will decrease. Most every government even if you are married by your church convert that marriage into a civil union even if on paper it is called a marriage and have done so since the early 80's. It is going to happen one way or the other and it may just happen in a world crisis the way it's going. The question for leaders in governments, business and other public realms is how do we put value back into marriage as society because what we have now is a breakdown of society that may come to a head a few generations down.
Buddy, you're married so you're perspective on why people AREN'T getting married is relatively limited."Woman can afford to be picky," is a good point though... they do so via the mobile apps, which have pretty much RUINED dating!
I do research. Stats, studies, and expert analysis help me broaden my perspective. But of course this piece is guided by my perspective. That's why I wanted to make clear that I am married, so people can understand where I'm coming from when I talk about this topic.
Louis Foglia ...marriage is in decline because of the job market, cost of living and mobile apps encouraging unrealistic daring standards.
your research process and methodology is way more complex than my masters dissertation
Haha, not getting married is costly??? Renting is inferior to taking a mortgage? Please, it's quite the opposite. Just keep renting and invest savings into S&P500. You remain more flexible about where you live AND you get a higher rate of annual return.
Shit is too expensive bruh 😭
Go to a courthouse
Hodgie Michaels lol that makes zero sense. Nobody said you gotta have a tv wedding with a coordinator 😂
you right
@Joey Snow1 that makes zero sense.. you have a dual income and you get much better tax breaks
Are you black?
What are the benefits of marriage again?
tax cuts
Visiting rights in hospital's? Other than that don't really remember.
I'm Chris Luke for men there are none
Men, nothing, women, everything
Wilson I always wondered why women can never close the lid after using the restroom it’s kind of rude. Complaining about leaving the seat up when they put the seat down but can’t close the lid find it pretty hypocritical
divorce is on the decline because marriage is on the decline, nothing's changed
divorce rate is the key term not the sheer number of divorces. It is a percentage
More people are waiting until they're really, really sure they want to get married. My mom and dad dated for about 2 years before they got married. My sister dated her husband for 5 years, then lived with him for 2 before they got married. They're treating it like the serious commitment it should be.
@@Sorcerers_Apprentice if they marry at all. The average cutoff age for men is about 36 if he hasn't decided to get married by then
"Waste money on renting" yeah instead of wasting your life on mortgage
Get roomates, get credit and put tiny homes in the backyard and rent those. That mortgage will make you a pile in the long run and cost you same as a one bedroom apartment in the mid term.
I love how balanced this channel is. I do think you missed one reason. Divorces tend to greatly favour women over men. I think many men are aware and cautious about entering into a deal that is perceived to be stacked against them.
society favors women over men.
end of sentence.
It is a fact we know that is not objectively proven because of bias in the intellectual community. This guy is one of the few objective and unbiased content creators.
divorce laws in my country are incredibly slanted, I think it makes men nervous about marriage
How slanted are they? Men will be free from responsibilities in the household and make more money while women are stuck raising the family and losing earning potential. Facts.
That is why I decided not to get married. Marriage is a dumb choice, and I am not dumb.
+Lunayen They are very slanted. Men still have responsibilities in paying for child maintenance whilst not being able to see their kids if there is a divorce. It is also easier for the lady to divorce as the stigma is not gone.
+Abram marriage only benefits the woman?
Marry a woman, and become a "wage slave" for the rest of your life. No thanks.
Now that women can raise children and support a family I say men should take the opportunity and explore psychedelics and expand their consciousness.
Making money is so last year.
Men getting royally screwed AND getting the blame for getting royally screwed.
Because most of them screwed it themselves.
In the US, yes. Here in Sweden, not so much.
@Take the red pill LOL. That's hilarious.
@@patrik5123 Well then, start having at least FIVE WHITE kids per family and there might be some hope. Good luck with that.
My problem with marriage is the fear of placing trust in someone else. I don't want to be a 'part owner' in a house. I don't want to give so much of my life to someone else, because people fall out of love, it's that simple. Can I trust someone else's devotion while I myself can't ensure they have mine? I mean, most of us have been in multiple relationships, which if proof that the likelihood of relationships lasting until death is quite unlikely for some people. And I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing given that we can be successful without another person these days, especially in the case of woman, who were wholly reliant on men. At the end of the day, I'd rather be alone than miserable with someone else, especially if they own half of my finances.
Well said
My parents are from Soviet Union and they are still married and good friends. We are a loving family. I am so fed up of the modern times.
i'm not seeing a lot of reasons for a man to want to get married....
Me:"Wait, you are seeing reasons?"
"MGTOW"
Marriage makes it harder to take your stuff and bounce when your partner starts acting foolish. No thanks.
mmmm sorry to say this but you are just immature
@@theAppleWizz maybe he just doesnt wanna stick his hand in an obvious bear trap
@@theAppleWizz get r3kt by logic, logic'd.
MGTOW is the new movement
And it reeks.
Okay have fun being alone
What makes you think just because your'e not married or there is no woman in your life you have a lonely life. People have friends, family and hobbies and things to keep them occupied and entertained. Not being married is an actual benefit being free to do what you want.
Heffrey it's not a movement it's ideology
MGTOW4LIFE
Society should just end the concept of "legal marriage" already. It should be just a cultural thing, not a legal thing imo.
Yeah - but I get my wife's health benefits....
At least spousal benefits are a thing with America. In mine, private sector spousal benefits are rare, let alone for the kids. More like get your own benefits, then pay for the kid's health insurance, childcare/school etc.
Which is why we need Medicare-For-All in the U.S. ASAP! This whole "prove you love or related to someone" to get medical insurance is ridiculous!
Divorce lawyers gonna have a hit out for you LOL
As women entered the workforce during the 70s-90s, that effectively doubled the labour market - meaning individual employees became less valuable, about half as valuable. That's partly why the median wage has barely risen in the past 20 years, and why you now need 2 full-time wage earners to support a household, versus just 1 before women entered the workforce en masse. So when it's said that 'men haven't held up their end of the bargain' (mentioned @ 4:44), I feel that's somewhat of a mischaracterisation.
this is just not true not all woman went into the job market nor is that the case still there is still a shit ton of stay at home moms out there
This is speaking generally. Yes, there's plenty of stay-at-home mums, and the split between men and women in the labour market isn't 50/50 - but it's pretty damn close (and much closer than it was pre-1970). Also, another contributing factor is that during the 80s-90s, companies began to outsource work a lot more to overseas, again increasing the size of the overall labour market and further reducing the value of individual employees. So again, it's not really right to characterise the problem as 'men haven't held up their end of the bargain', as though they're all lazy chauvinists. The truth is more complex.
well historically men have always been cannon fodder
you just gotta deal with it
yes, I have been saying this for a very long time. Most people actually don't understand. But at the same time today women are expected to make similar and take care of the child on top of it. It is very exhausting. Alot of man won't find a partner who make way less now days as well. So now not only you have to make decent , child care falls 100% on yous till and chores around the home.
Mystarmach I totally agree with you. Society is now dysfunctional as a result.
Yes. Marriage is dead. Same goes for dating
Neither women or men are too keen about getting married or have children nowadays. It costs alot of money and is a hard committment.
Love is usually pretty short term and never everlasting either which especially young people know about. It's very common that parents break up or force themselves to stay together 'for the sake of their kids' which's just a nonloving relationship. Young people and kids of today notice this.
Men and women of all social classes and communities cheat on their significant others as the passion dries up. Love's nothing like Hollywood romcoms.
It's also somewhat common for two people to 'get married' or have a child to try and spark something new in their life after the 'flame' is pretty much extinguished or just because of 'safety'.
Finding someone who you'll mutually love forever is a pipedream.
Marriage is a sacred bond often most commonly proclaimed by religious or spiritual people.
As societies are becoming more urbanized, secular and leftwing these contracts are not really of much importance any longer. Right wing leaning young people seem to avoid marriage for different reasons though, often because of a distrust in women or dissatisfaction with women in general.
Whatever reason people may have for not getting married it's still ultimately a pretty irrational concept. Like all relationships with friends, family or significant others, everything goes up and down in intensity and frequency. It's just more flexible to meet people and stay with them for as long as you love/like eachother's company and if it doesn't work out take a break from eachother.
So do you think people who want to have children should plan on raising them alone?
Not only are marriages declining, but the birthrate is below replacement levels. Who needs a spouse or kid to stress them out?
I sure as hell wouldn’t want to tie myself up to someone sharing my finances assets them spending half my money I’d rather have all the money to myself. Why would any man set himself up on a potential divorce losing his house, car, and kids ex wife putting a claim on all his future earnings child support divorce courts etc what a train wreck that could be coming his way.
Who seriously thinks that a declining birthrate is a good thing?
@@galek75 me, it's better for the planet and the environment. Less people means less carbon footprint, less deforestation and overall a healthier earth. Think whatever you want of me I couldn't care less and my mind about that won't change.
@@80sfreak14 Ok dogmatist.
korean shinebox he isnt wrong you know
Way too expensive , you should travel together or buy a house . Unless you have money to do all that ...and pay for a divorce and child support later , then go ahead and have your expensive party .
MGTOW
I mean marriage for men is like giving up all the power, with a risk of losing half of everything if it goes bad. there's just no reason for men to get married anymore
seanS196 Prenup.
can get thrown out
Why would any man risk losing his house losing his children his ex wife putting a claim on all his future earnings sleeping with other men and being treated like a monster for the rest of his life. Any man who agrees to this is a fool and that’s why a lot of men are refusing to do it.
George Washington was a smart man. ;)
@@freespeech8030 didn't he kill his wife or something?
MGTOW
The economy is awful, divorce laws are slanted and people are rejected the idea of monogamy. I think the whole idea of marriage being a victory lap is good
What do you think of the future of marriage? Interesting Video! We love this channel!
I love BEME!
Men make less, women make more but men are still expected to handle everything financially. In a divorce you get set back heavily and men never really recover. Theirs nothing to be gained by being married these days for men and it's very much a one way route.
That's not how that works
@@topman8565 what did he say wrong ?
@@gvis8217 theirs nothing to be gained from marriage it's a terrible way to look at things
@@topman8565 isn't that exactly what the op said ?
I am against marriage but not against living together without being married. Marriage is a waste of time, you'll lose a ton of money in the process, and a divorce could potentially ruin your life with the laws that favor women and leave men in financial devastation.
You could marry an Indian girl. Her family would have to pay you to take away their daughter.
Do you know what a prenup is?
Traplover7 prenups don’t work divorce lawyers will wipe their asses with them
Everyone needs to read and understand what Oshini Gamage wrote. It can happen to you.
Oshini Gamage just don’t live in those places and their is such a thing called a cohabitation agreement - common law marriage is not as easy to prove as you think, the person whom to live with has to contribute to your household or you have to file taxes jointly to prove it, even if it does apply to your relationship only assets earned after the common law marriage has been recognized can be split where as in a marriage everything can be split right down the middle.
I just can't imagine voluntarily giving up my freedom and money and never getting to be alone, to be honest.
The list is really endless to why men are walking away from marriage.
House prices and the ability to pay for it and the risk of loosing it through job lose or divorce. The fact that you may have to sacrifice your Leisure pursuits or holiday.
Women attitudes towards men.
Men’s masculinity degradation.
Federal or state or country believes towards men .
Long term investment into a relationship emotionally and financially and then loosing it .
Having to start over again.
There are many more.
If relationship and trust between two persons are true, no marriage is required for validation cause you have nothing to prove and you don't have to lock yourself into relationship if you truly love that person anyway. There are benefits to marriage in certain countries but I personally don't see the value in most cases.
The man is too stupid to see that the woman marries him to leach off of him in a potential divorce not because she loves him. As soon as she finds out he doesn't want to get married watch how quickly she gets out of the relationship that tells you enough you need to know no marriage for validation required.
Simple reason that divorces ends up both partners in a very hard financial situation. Splitting everything will devalue anything
As a 25yo dude who has a lovely girlfriend tbh I wouldn’t wanna get married even tho I am planning to spend the rest of my life with the same person. Marriage is useless 🤷♂️
Tax benefits.
jajjfajsidjoigfe don't dictate your life to get scraps from the govt
Exit Strategies thanx dr Phil
Exit Strategies definitely not true.
you will loas a shit ton off money over the years oh and if you in the hospital she will not be able to get any information from the staff nor visit you. it's the law
I got married, but only after about 8 years of being together. (Living together for around 7) I've never understood why people think they NEED to be married, other than people watching too much TV/movies. I got married because my wife wanted to have a giant party and get gifts 😂
Isn't that the real reason they ALL want to??
...yeah, but are you happily married?
...yeah, but are you happily married?
short chubby neckbeard absolutely! She's my best friend.
Sounds shady 8 years together then u get married for gifts. It might have been someone was bored with the relationship and wanted to marry because that would be fun to plan and organize the marriage. Sounds to me like you don't got much left with this relationship. But like always only time would tell. Good luck to you pal
How come you barely touched on the fact that divorce is very expensive. Thats always been a deterrent for me. Would have loved to see the numbers in a financial regard.
mmm what about the idea that you wont get a divorce 0_0 or if you do just settle it out of court
You can't be afraid of divorce if you date/vet the person you marry.
@@TheSamuraiXX011 Monsters and demons are good at disguising of who they are and a wise man once said and I quote, "The soul of a woman was made down below".
No marriage
No divorce
No Alimony
No child support
Result happy life....😎😁😁
#MGTOW
Divorce are in decline because marriage is in decline.
Divorce/marriage is increasing because Economic stress.
To be fair, your source from Evergreen College is extremely biased. As someone that lives in WA state, Evergreen College is notoriously Left-leaning, and the degrees and programs are hardly recognized. The school is barely accredited because grades are not provided.
really what do you mean with grades are not provided
There's no benefits to getting married for men specifically lol
Right, so you didn't watch the video at all? Women are working more and almost all people who are parents need both people to work to support their children. The deal used to be men work and women raise kids and do housework. Now women are earning almost as much as men AND still do more housework. I know I'm not going to get married to a man-child that can't cook or clean up after themselves. There's no benefit for women.
The benefit is tax cuts. It pays off if you don't get a divorce later on.
Divorced families are typically low income where the women in that category does not have an education or stable job to be in the position of paying alimony.
That is completely false.
Since most marriages (specially older marriages) were built on the concept of women working less if at all, the alimony paid is to sustain the woman. Don't forget, the woman still reared the kids, and manned the household, things that earn NO money. And in modern times there is a rise of women who pay child support. So nope, all of this is true.
That’s it. MGTOW video responses on this video are inbound.
You have been warned.
Marriage is an important facet of society however nothing should ever superimpose quality of life.
Marriage is a great way for two people to come together and solve problems one person can't solve alone.
*_Which they wouldn't have if they didnt marry in the first place_*
Additionally, half of Americans make 30 grand or less and most of those 20 grand. That is the reason. Seeing the married generation before us struggle financially is quite convincing for not having kids. How to change that? Fighting for living wages, healthcare, tuition free college/Uni and UBI might do it.
I almost got married once..... almost doesn't count. It was close but I shook her off!
Like a bad case of fleas
In the USA, YES!!!
please can you reduce the number of "engaging" pop up on the screen, I'm trying to listen to what Lou is saying and they are friggin distracting.
“Marriage isn’t incentivised, divorce is,” Nicholas Cage
LoL
QUESTION ; How is a wife like a hand grenade?
####
ANS : Remove the ring and house disappears!
Screw marriage, its not needed. Best part of this video was the ending for sure.
No talk about divorce rape for men and the antiquated idea of alimony and the lack of accountability towards child-support causing the already struggling financial male to avoid getting married.
Live by yourself have your own home have your own money have your own bathroom lol it keeps going
At the end of the day, men have to pop the question. Women are the gatekeepers for sex, men are the gatekeepers for marriage.
i blame on economy!
As a person who is 32 and never had a relationship that lasted more than 2 years I have to tell you, marriage is not always an option for everyone, some of us just never meet anyone so the fact that we might live a short depressed life is making us happy, mainly the short part.
Maths 101: Jobs are finite. When you give 50% of jobs to women, you end up with 50% of unemployed men or if you you squeeze women in an already packed job market, employers can cut wages due to oversupply of workers. Women don't date down, so there is no win in this situation.
You dont have to get married to have a family and live your life with someone else.
Marriage benefits women
Divorce benefits women
Your statement that marriages are higher quality because divorces are going down is not correct. You're just misreading the chart. The number of divorces seems pretty coupled with the number of marriages so obviously as the marriage rate decreases so would the divorce rate. Charts are easy to misinterpret.
Both the raw number and percentage of divorces are going down: time.com/4575495/divorce-rate-nearly-40-year-low/
But yes - good point on chart. It doesn't tell whole story.
Louis Foglia thanks. Yeah I think just maybe a different chart showing percentage would have been more accurate and less misleading. I definitely believe you are saying the facts just the chart didn't really match.
It's a fact that not a single person got married in the last 2 years.
I like how dry is your humor, is smokes my eyes when i read it
Maybe in your neck of the woods. Not in my case.
Sex is free, marriage is not. Makes sense to me lol
I love my gf, I am happy with her, we live together, but I don't want to get married with anyone, why do i need that contract. It's waste of money, and no huge benefits. We can have a good family with her without getting married.
M H S till they hit you with that common law. relationships are for lames.
Excellent analysis 👌
Hook up culture is to blame
Marriage is obsolete.
I Hope so!!
Yes its
Mate!! Your gonna end up divorced soon don't worry it happens to everyone... marriage is way over rated
being married isnt worth it