Doctor Bahu - Does She Have To Choose? | Junaid Akram's Podcast
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- Опубліковано 5 чер 2024
- Description:
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This podcast discusses the paradox of finding a ‘Doctor Bahu’ yet 77% of the female medical professionals in Pakistan aren't practicing medicine, one of the reason could be giving up on choices made against their free will, in order to live up to their responsibilities as a wife, daughter or a homemaker.
List of Questions:
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00:00 - Teaser
01:05 - Intro
02:29 - “Doctor Bahu” phenomena.
04:53 - Why term “Doctor” is used as flex?
07:29 - 83,000 female doctors are not practicing. What can be the possible reasons behind that?
09:56 - How important is for a human to have their own choice in everything?
12:48 - How advertisements impacts us?
15:50 - “AURAT GHAR KO JOR KER CHALTI HAI”
18:57 - Does the non-practicing doctors graduated from Govt. institutes shall get penalty for not practicing his/her job?
22:02 - Do people get into medical fields for better marriage proposals?
25:59 - Role of mother in law in terms of offering choices to their daughter in law.
37:35 - “Mard ro nahi sakta”
39:29 - Does social media help people to break the shield of asking questions and relating familiar to someone?
56:36 - “Gold diggers”
58:50 - Is Rama practicing these days? (Food/Life/Practice and few more)
01:05:14 - Advice for aspiring female doctors.
01:06:50 - Outro and ending credits.
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#DoctorBahu #JunaidAkramPodcast
Hey u should invite some female cricketer like Sana Mir or Bismah maroof to your podcast someday.... They will be very inspiring to female cricketers and other sports women. highly inspired by Bismah maroof playing women's world cup right after 6 months of giving birth to a baby girl..... Hope you would consider this humble request.... Big fan from India.... 😊
I left my UK work permit after the birth of kid to look after him as my inlaws wanted me to leave my kid in daycare. Then I got an office job in private company in Pakistan but had to quit again bc maid for my son was never monitored and she didn’t feed my kid, secondly my father in law wanted me to come home at dot time and made family plans without discussing with me so I could give a heads up .. in my first pregnancy I was extremely sick n all alone in UK came to Pakistan after agonizing 8 hrs flight , the moment I landed I had to be a nurse for my sis in law who was merely having diarrhea due to over eating.. I took care of her when I was myself in need of medical care and mind you I came from a family where my mother was a banker and my aunt supported both of her daughters in law to attain post graduate degrees.. point is you can’t expect a lady doctor to be sincere to her profession or her children unless her in-laws support her .. case is different when damads are doctors then they get all VIP treatment.. my mother used to send my food and ironed clothes for next day on my every night call and my brothers used to pick n drop me. Bc I would get exhausted after giving my 200% at the hospital.. it’s a lie that a doctor bahu can justify kids n work all by herself; someone always has to get ignored ..
I had been breaking since last 2 weeks my final year mbbs started I was so confused felt so much burden today I read namaz and prayed from Allah I think this podcast was an answer to my prayer
Feels such a relief so enlightened❤️
Good luck 🤞🏻
Dont agree with leaving a 10 month old baby without a mother. Psychologically speaking, a child under three needs a primary attachment figure. This is almost always the mother due to both physiological adaptations during child birth and because the child remembers and recognises the mother immediately after birth. Taking that away from a little baby because you want a career is cruel to the baby.
Ideally, you should wait till you are fully established before having children. Once a child is in the picture, the child is king / queen and its needs are foremost. Being the most ignored, misused, and abused class in society, we should do more to protect children.
Otherwise completely agree with the discussion.
can u link some research which indicates that it is more important for the mother to attend the child than the father?
@@Shams-fe6lq there is plenty out there but naturally a mother is more suitable because she is equipped to, at the minimum, feed the child after birthing it. Not to even mention the harmonal and physiological changes that occur during child birth.
But the point is there should be a primary attachment figure (be it mother or a father) that should be the source of constant attention for the child. Children exist in the eyes of their parents which is why there is always a shine in their eyes when they look your way after doing even the most trivial of things. Gaber Mate is an excellent source of information for child rearing based on good research if you are interested.
@@chamanullah yes there should be a parent attending to the child i agree. so it can be a father too. i asked only because u said it was "almost always the mother's" duty. im still interested in any studies regarding that. the ONLY thing ive seen is that mothers can breast feed while fathers cannot, other than that its all equal in terms of childcare. and with regards to that id say that majority of the children here already drink formula milk instead of breast milk. (By the way if by Gaber Mate u mean the candaian physician then i would say that opinions of individual doctors do not matter to me. id much rather prefer a consensus on a subject or some peer review studies)
@@Shams-fe6lq What I said specifically is that due to physiological and harmonal changes to a women's body during child birth and the fact she can feed the child, both historically and medically, she is by default the primary care giver. However, roles should be discussed between husband and wife before and throughout their married lives.
A father's role is equally important but different to that of a primary caregiver. Ofcourse it does not mean that we cannot change diapers or feed our children just because we are men. In fact, the more involved a father is, the better the children's lives are.
There is a bunch of research on active parenting. Just Google it.
Also, the onus of responsibility to prove by research and whatnot should be on anyone who suggests it is NOT the mother's duty to be the primary caregiver for a baby. Mainly because like you said the consensus on the subject (historically, medically and religiously) has always been on mothers to be the primary caregivers for their children.
Huge respect for you junaid bhai 💯💯😍 the topics you are discussing in this podcast must be taught and learnt by everyone 👍
Outstanding Podcast 💙 Need whole lot more of these❣
There are two different topics to address;
1. Women in the workplace.
2. Societies where both parents have to work in order to survive economically.
I am fully in support of 1 and deadly opposed to 2.
We need to engineer our society so it is not necassary for both parents to work to survive. I live in a society like this and it has destroyed family life. Families spend little time together, everyone is mentally exhausted in the evening, meals are frozen, social lifes are neglected. It's something we must work as a society to avoid.
I am absolutely in support of women in the workplace. We should re-engineer labour laws so it's easier to women in the workplace. All workplaces (who meet a certain financial criteria) should offer free childcare. The state should offer x hours of free childcare too. Part time hours or shifts that occur only during school time should be common place and available to parents (male or female). Obviously pay will be adjusted pro-rata.
Finally WFH and entrepreneurship should be encouraged and enabled so people, especially women are able to work flexibly.
Two points I can validate from my own experience.
1. Speak to your parents, they will understand.
2. Do things for yourself, trust me your will not regret it.
3. Learn to enjoy by yourself, people only enjoy with others because somewhere inside they are trying to impress them. If you truly enjoy something (i.e. craft, public speaking, watching birds, could be anything) you shouldn't have a problem doing it alone. Drive away, eat, train, watch or play, anything you want to do.
4. Please respect other's decisions and priorities, never cross someone's personal boundery of choices, Never question it unless you are trying to learn something from it, no one owes you an explaination.
Do you follow these yourself though?
@@ibrahimshaikh06 why does that concern you so much?
The best thing I ever read on internet in a long time.
In the British raj of the subcontinent, the Englishmen who were doctors, civil officers, armymen etc were very prestigious people. Everyone wanted to associate themselves with them because they were the "elite bunch" and entering that elite society meant prestige for the associated too, so our ancestors just went nuts trying to force their ambition to get that sword of elitism for themselves through their kids. Fast forward to today this status quo thing is a direct corollary of that desire to enter the company of those that "ruled". (Not my obsetvations, read it in a book somewhere)
The way she says "Han" it's so uplifting and satisfying😍
Bro i swear these podcasts/interviews are shaping us guys more than any other "pakistani" show or drama in a good way and I truly hope junaid bhai keeps doing this. Lots of prayers your way junaid bhai.
Great Podcast again Junaid bhai
Thats the topic...which hardly discussed in our society..... zabardast....bohat achi podcast thi ......pta he nahi chala ghanta kahan gya.....keep it up....junaid bhai as expected ....bohat kuch seekha aap k channel sey....again
double standard portcast sass ke kidmat nahi karni aor apna bacha sass palay 👏👏👏
Amazing both of you need more videos like this
Love your effort junaid bhai
Amazinggg topic, well presented 👍
Main har podcast bhaga bhaga k dekhta hu lekin ye pura dekha 2 din lagy lekin bohat acha tha
Jazakallah ap kuch logo k zariye sai awam un naas ka bhala hota rhy
More power to u and prayers for Dr rama I so love each and every word u spoke u have amazing thoughts
Junaid is doing wonderful job.
Thanks for sharing this video with us
Such a thoughtful point of view from both of you ♥️
I can relate I have to leave by 2 and a half years old son my parents supported me but my in laws did not. Time passed but I left pak just bevoz of toxic in laws. Best decision ever.
I'm happy for you
I wish ap successful banay
I guess every desi man woman needs to watch this. Wonderful podcast ❤️
Loved this episode.
3:57
Being a teenager I acknowledge the importance of this generation which will be a big element in the future youth, I must say that I disagree with her at that point. When we talk about children not being mature enough we must point out the odds for example a 13 year old should be mentally strong enough to know what's good for him. I have faced hardships due to trashy education system weather it be Social Anxiety or my introversion personality. Schooling system needs to be changed at this point. Our system lacks the capability of producing strong generation with a well mindset, Schools are far away from reality. They need a reality check in order to prepare us for a better future of our own, All school does is provide us with useless knowledge which won't be significant in our future, We must admit the fact that dreaming big often disappoints us more.
So countering her words at that particular moment how about we change our system in a manner that they prepare students to be mature enough at the age of 13 to build a collaborative better future for our country and generation itself. Unfortunately it won't be possible in the next 100 years at least in Pakistan because degree 'A useless certificate' matters more than skills in our youth of today.
The only reason I listen to my dad to become doctor even though I didn't wanna because guys are not willing to become doctor in Karachi.
Later, I left for America during FSC with my family immigration and studying civil engineering at my own will at UC Berkeley Alhumdulillah.
I really agree with the point of specialist, m BSc IT graduate and sometimes people will ask irrelevant questions outside my expertise and if i am not able to answer they do say then what’s the use of your degree as they do this to tease so i also give them irrelevant answers like “jis din school mai ye padha rahe the us din maine chutti li thi is lie nahi pata ye kaise hota hai”
Waited for weekend to watch this Podcast because I always wanted to hear woman side's story and it was worth listening. A round of applause for Dr. Rama Siddique for addressing this issue in such a friendly and professional way.
Also, I think we need a married woman doctor or any profession in next Podcast so we can understand in depth about the problems and lifestyle of a working lady , housewife and as a mother on a same Podcast. Best Wishes!
Why is having a choice for girls/women even a question in some countries including Pakistan? It's their lives and only they can decide for themselves. Some societies need to grow up
Yeah you're right
But so called shaddi is the end goal so ISS liye bus it's fucking our system
Thanks God Podcast is Back ❤️🌟
so amazing man!
Junaid bhai u r my inspiration♥️
My wife is full time house wife also she is also a full time heart surgeon. We had love marriage I am just intermediate pass out and never had enough chance to study again . She chose to be a full time house wife we have 3 kids and also she decided to work as professional.
so what was the point of becoming a surgeon dosen’t make any sense
@@e.k874 He literally just said she does both. Read it again
Tu bhai tum kia kartay ho?
@@Shtriga_34 right my bad but makes NO sense how can someone be a full time house wife and full time house surgeon unless her house is the hospital
@@e.k874 she is a sensible lady . Because she can’t destroy her family life also she can’t back off with her oath. She wake up at 5 in the morning start preparations for the day. Breakfast, kids , bath ,
Start 8:30 in the hospital finish at 04:00 PM drive back to home spend quality time with kids and prepare dinner and in the night we all have dinner together and sleep by 09:30
The point to explain her qualities is she is also a woman , she is also a doctor , she is also a wife,
She is also a mother , and she perform every role 100%. Education made her more successful in her qualities. She can also say my body my right.
The lady in this video just a form of modest education system because she think if women are doing education so they are not supposed to be a house wife either a good and respectful daughter-in-law.
JUNAID AKRAM, do a podcast to highlight Labor Laws in Pakistan. All employees who work overtime and late sitting dont get paid in Pakistan. This should change and it is also an exploitation for not getting paid for overtime work.
A tired and an overworked employee cannot be productive and prone to make mistakes. It will also effect the mental health and family life. Also a two days weekend shall be for all employees.
In Pakistan the standards should be raised on everything from labor laws to manufactured goods and services.
best
I was waiting for this. Excellent Podcast. We need more like this and definitely more female guests.
54:30 I appreciate you said this BAAP ksh nai kehta jab kamana shuru kardatay hai. I want you to make a full podcast on this topic. That's a story that every boy can connect who's started earning enough.
Liked the podcast a lot ✌🏻
after a long time doing podcast !
Rama is like Junaid's female voice what a wonderful session to hear. Need more sessions with her Love from 🇮🇳
Never in a million years will Rama be Junaid's female voice. That'll be the day.
Great topic! Well done Mr Junaid!
So empowering
Amazing Podcast, Briliant
I’ve never commented on any youtube video ever… but thank you so much for making this I’ve shared it with lots of family and friends . We need more content like that these days. SO THANK YOU AND GOOD JOB👍
But desi logo ko abhi bhi samaj nhi AAI gi
sir mazeed iss trha ki videos bunaye and missing your ask Ganjiswag videos
amazing podcast junaid bhai
Nice topic....Happy woman's day
This just a 1 side of coin.. har bat me (MARD) Ko bura prove karna its not rit. . Yes agreed mostly (MARD) EVIL hote hain and do wrong things . But same way (MARD) hi hota ha jo ziyada efforts put karta ha but koi us side se se nh dekhta.. and Junaid bhai u should respect ur guest agreed but har bat me yes yes karna lazmi nh a person like u jo intellectually strong ha kafi can't be puppet. . Ye bhi extremism hi ha but other way
Mostly mard evil nhi hote
@@usmanzafar4751 bhai hypothetically maan lo. . But still is tarha one sided bat sun kar hamri society k 1 gender ki completely bura dikhana its wrong
@@drwajidali6195 sahi bole bhai ye log sirf 1 side baat karte hai
What choice does a women who is becoming a doctor has if her husband or in laws are against her?
@@khalilmohammadmirza4070 chor do nahi to saari xindagi compromise ma guzaar do
Missed your podcasts alot
Thanks for uploading 🙏
It helps alot thankyou for bringing such a topic im motivated and hoping these kinda videos in future jazakallah💘
Thants why i follow your channel
Regarding the Job situation, this should be fixed and there should not be any free labour. This also applies to Engineers as a lot of companies exploit engineers by saying, we are giving you chance to get experience. Both for Doctors and engineers, this is wrong and should be fixed on Govt level.
finally after a long time
There's so so so many points that as a society we need to address .
Very productive thoughts kudos to your efforts.
Junaid Bhai your huge fan from MandiBahauddin 🧡
Girl or guy, Adults expecting someone cook lunch for them, i cant understand the thought process behind this.
Nice video Thanks Sir.🇵🇰🌹💝👍
I just got into Dow medical college this year and really needed to hear a lot of what was said in this video. 1000% agreed
Just got in ?? I thought you were a mentor??
@@tony-et7mn dekho dreams unchi rkhni hoti ha na smjha kro
I am a Specialist Doctor myself married to a Specialist Doctor.
I can safely say that Mr Junaid should have chosen a lady doctor with more exposure and maturity to dig out the real deal.
However a brilliant choice of topic
Just could have been better represented
Exactly. Is bandi ko actually kch pata he nai hai. Very immature.
ISS ne konci ESI galat BAAT ki ha?
Nhi karnay detay practice after marriage mostly girls ko ISS mein Kuch galat Tu nhi apko agar doctor husband mil Gaya Tu thk ha har Kisi ki nhi milta
@@muneebahmad4378 are you a doctor?
@@ajasud no I'm not
But apnay around Tu ye sab hota dekhta ho na
Or stats Dekho
@@muneebahmad4378 brother i m a doctor. And meri larkiya colleagues jo meri batch mates thi. Mai ne sab ko dheka hua hai. Stats jo dikhtey hain wesa nai hai real mai. Shadi ki waja se ye nai ho raha sirf. Buht lambi kahani hai messaype samjhaya bhi nai ja sakta.
WE WANT PARTTT 2!!!
very very good subject
Doing engineering is also not easy if you go to a good university.
What about NUST
@@mehranasmat7579 NUST to kia baat hai
yeah im doing my three years compuiter science program in belgium and trust me its way harder , too many courses and alot burden
dont discuss about engineer in Pakistan cuz Pakistan is a stone age country where nothing makes sense in the industrial sector and as for the Pakistani engineers change yr country and you would truly earn and be respected
Every study requires time effort and dedication. Nothing is easy whether its management studies, business studies, engineering, bds, mbbs etc
1:02:57 same here. Friday ki chutti hoti thi and mama chicken pulao banati thein... ❤ab me mulk se bahar hu 2 saal se.. inshAllah wapis jau ga to doobara khau ga 😍
Ganjiswag ki 5 hours ki podcast bhi 5 minute ki lgti ha dil krta ha or sunt y jao.
Leaving a 10 month or 11 month child is just cruel
pata nahi inn ko kiss dunnyea main rahna hai 10 month baby ko chor dea us pay kuch ho rahi hai muja to yea doctor be nahi lugti
It was her own choice and it wasn't for the whole life of the baby and you are not considering the mother's side can you imagine the suffering she had to go through and i think she wanted make the baby's future better and it was their family issue and we are not supposed to judge.
@@AhmedRaza-ws4gq on the contrary, all cruelty is justified by twisting narratives. It was money she was after, her first priority
Sari sahi batein hain
Please bring back again these mindset of people and podcast, highly appreciated Miss Doc. Rama Siddiqui. Thanks to talk about that kind of topics.
It was fruitful discussion but you seemed to inclined towards guest opinions. I don’t know you just do it to lengthy the conversation or get along with her to have good chat. Independence / freedom is linked to religion and Islamic traditions. You used gold digger term, if wife will not stand with her husband in his worst times then a male is right to nominate her gold digger. Overall I liked it, you made an open discussion. Male should treat spouse as partner not as slave.
I love travelling alone and enjoy myself
This is strange for me. Indians are very similar to Pakistanis in many aspects but I haven’t seen this kind of a scenario here in India. Female doctors don’t leave their profession even after marriage. Not just this, women are even going for so called manly branches in medicine like Surgery and Orthopaedics
It's not about only doctors that they are not getting paid during their house jobs.
Most of companies in Karachi never pay to interns.
I have done hotel management from Crow q institution of ramada plaza Karachi. They asked to do six months compulsory unpaid internship for 9 hours daily & ( kaam sikhatay nahi hain nikalwatay hain) they treated us like we are their servents & all. Ramada is working through intern's . Overall all hotel industry is hiring unpaid interns or if they are hiring paid interns so they are not paying handsome amount. The particular amount they are paying that's is only enough for petrol but some of the time it's not enough for petrol also
Waiting for Junaid 1 Million
amazing convo . always good to hear
Ara bahi in doctors ka to attitude dakhna wala hota ha hospitals ma aur yahan itna polite banta ha
Meri amma bhi keh rhi hen Is doctor ko bahu bnana he 🤣😍 masha Allah bht zabrdast pocast😍🥰
A conversation that goes against logic, realities and basic human physcology will also be a conversation that is against Islam
Pakistani newly qualified engineers are the most neglected ones, low morals no jobs , it’s unacceptable. How much money and resources they put to become an engineer and when they go out , there are no jobs as they are not ‘experienced’ this is heartbreaking. I know my brother had a class fellow who didn’t get a job after scoring outstanding as an engineer because he didn’t have any rich fat reference, he committed suicide and it affected my brother so much we got worried about him and his well-being.
Please talk about this as well.
The technological advancements the world enjoys today is due to engineers who developed that technology and tools. Engineers run the world in that sense. All the hi-tech equipments used in hospital for diagnosis and test are also made by engineers.
I used to think I was born in the wrong country, but after listening to the conversation. I feel I am not alone who think the same way.
No you are not alone there is a whole new generation that thinks like this but most of them are privileged in some way or another. And age plays a major role if you have a strong base and a good exposure you thoughts start to get organised and so you understand these things better
@@AhmedRaza-ws4gq Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I also think the same
Mere medical college mein ( delhi university) boys girls ratio is 4:1
30 girls in batch of 150
Aur apke clg mein 30 boys against 220 girls
Bc partition se mera kitna nuksan ho gaya🥺🥺
I am your new subscriber you are talking accent is very beautiful and your all video is very very good
awesome topic of discussion especially aired the same day as aurat march, amazing timing! :D although i didnt watch the video, ill post my comments as edits after watching iA :D
I haven't commented ever on any UA-cam video. But I really wanted to, on this one. The topic and talks were amazing and a good source of awareness.
I just want to point out one small thing. By the end of the video, both of you are talking about your rage regarding food choices and always expecting a good meal from your mothers who are at the end of the day females. Probably our mothers must have given up on their life aspirations to serve us well.
How do we expect to change this society when we have mentally accepted that females (mothers in this case) should always serve us perfectly? And if we do like to have the best biryani ever from our mothers, why is it wrong for a male to expect the same from his female partner.
Before misunderstanding my comment, please consider that I am just trying to understand the contradictory thoughts here.
Don't you think she keeps on repeating this statement "I'm quite privileged" again n again . It's like she came from a ham sath sath hai and kabhi khushi kabhi gham type of family blend with modern values . There is chanting behind her or an echo of "feminism " with every sentence she completes i hear this chanting.
You are spot on with gobi gosht @Junaid
A very important and thought-provoking discussion. I just hope and pray that backwardness in our society gets ripped-off to give it a fresh clean start. This nation needs overhauling.
What an eye opener for our community very well said Dr Rama we hope to listen more from you on other hot topics as well
Listening is not going to bring change … implements is the key of success….
Amazing podcast love what you do but there are several social and cultural values that we have to consider my wife is a doctor (general surgeon) and i would love share my side of story things are not that simple and easy. with a working doctor wife it is the toughest relationship that a man can imagine. one have to compromise work, social life and kids. Those Lady Doctors who are not practicing its not their fault or her husband and in-laws. Its the condition of our health care system hospital that does not supports Pakistani women doctors to pursue their profession.
wow welcome to the world of every woman
Govt should pass a law that who ever studies in govt institutions should sign a bond to serve 2 -4 years or pay a fine of what govt spend on her. Just like paksitan army rules
Pakistan army should also make a rule that after retirement for 10 years no retire officer above brigadier rank should fly abroad and settle there.
How on earth do you not have atleast a million subscribers?
Ye kitni awesome ha yaar.
Is rama a content writer/blogger also? What's her page/blog?
Ary junaid bhai plz angrezi ko thora side pe krwa dain har ksi ko samj nai ati. hum phr thek se samjty nai hai
DRAAAING is okay inst. of Drawing!
secondly apkay jesay larkuon ka yehi stance hota hai. btw nose is fantastic.
you know ? you are also flexing about your doc bhabi.
One of the best conversations 👌 ever🙂❤
Shukar hai junaid bhai apki bhi koi video agayi... Itny din baad.
Ap bhi bs bataty rehty hain bohat kuch araha hai bohat kuch araha hai sb kuch ruka hua hai
big fan Junaid bhai
Please invite Kanwal Ahmed on your podcast
Well said Junaidy Sinns
is podcast ko dekhna k baad mujhe ehsaas hua k as a nation hum kitne obsessed hogye hain Maghrib se aur Gora complex se
Yaar pehlay khud to apnay culture ko follow karlo phir agar time mill jayay to dusroon ko judge kar layna
@@AhmedRaza-ws4gq q mene esa kya kardiya?
Supar amazing podcast hats off to you Junaid