As a viewer of your channel, I only had to watch one of your videos to realise what a lovely family you all are. Its not nice at all to think of how stressed out these people have made you all... Just know this community are right behind you all. Love to Anna, she is a brilliant Mum. xx
Even 24 hours later I am amazed at how level headed you are able to see the situation. You've got a years worth of video evidence, literally thousands of witnesses to your parenting skills. What a traumatic time for all concerned. Well done to all your family looks like you've become even stronger as a result. I'm sure that Peterborough has no abused/molested/beaten/homeless families to worry about. Must be a unique council in the whole of Britain.
I really enjoyed this blog Kev, and completely understand your anger and frustration. I am a secondary school teacher in Edinburgh, and although I'm an English teacher I work with kids who have varying ASNS and behavioural needs. During term time I am brought to tears of frustration daily by the systems and organisations that are 'meant' to help children and families, including social services...it's these very same systems and institutions that do nothing to help and, often create more problems for families. Social services are useless, in my opinion, and I am still waiting to see them do anything to help any of my pupils. The system is ridiculous in many many ways and it's about time that the general public realised how dreadful our 'care' system is in Britain. We will fight on! X
My heart is breaking for you guys. I really hope this gets resolved quickly. You guys are amazing with Andy and it is entirely evident that there is so much love in that household. You guys are AMAZING parents. Anna hang in there. I’m sure this is insanely stressful for the both of you but don’t for a second forget how awesome you guys are! Care package will be coming your way this week but I don’t know how long it will take from the US. There will be something for everyone so make sure you are all there when you open ❤️
Anyone watching this can see what amazing parents you both are. They should be trying to help you not planning meets behind you’re back and making you scared that he will be taken away.
This is such a alarming situation for Anna and you Kevin, im sorry you guys have to deal.with this when you two are amazing parents period. You guys plan your whole life around Andy and thats a beautiful thing, its so scary that one person can take that all away so fast. Seems like the social workers and respite is making things worse then helpful. Andy, would be absolutely devasted if they were to take him away, that would make him so sick, how do they think that would be better for him. I love your family and you two once again are amazing parents and Andy has two beautiful step sisters as well. My prayers go.out to you guys.
Well said Kev. So happy they have you to stand for them. I know how helpless and scary it is being a single mom being judged. Bless you for having their backs!
Social services will always do what they want I had my child taken away for six months because of his autism and my mental health not being stable he has been back home with me since August 2017 and I still have them in our lives child in need meetings every six weeks and have now started getting respite during the weekend and on holidays, you and Anna are doing a great job the difference in Andy is massive be proud of what you have achieved and don't let them get you down
You're amazing parents to Andy, I look up to you both so much as an 18 year old with a brother with autism. Our mum passed away so it's just me and my dad. I'm so glad I found this channel. You can see how happy Andy is! ☺️ sending you all lots of love x
I have trust issues when it comes to any professional that doesn't have a child in their own family with autism. I feel like they need to know what we all go through to really be any help. They love to just smile and lie to your face, and then talk loads of shit behind your back.
You and Anna are doing a fantastic job with Andy. He seems like a really nice and sweet guy. It's great that your bringing to light the negligence of so called professionals when you question their accusations without them having spoken the doctor who's job it is to make sure he's okay.
you probably dont care but if you're bored like me during the covid times then you can watch all of the latest movies and series on Instaflixxer. Been streaming with my girlfriend lately :)
Stay strong mate all I can see and im very sure of it is 2 loving parents that just want what's best for Andy. I know how social services are they can be a pain.
That was a heart breaking video and really feel for you all. Why can't people realize how communication is such an effective tool. Really do this k your be better off without social services.
This was such a powerful vlog from the heart! I would get them to watch this and ask them if they feel you’ve not got his best interests at heart now...
Hi Kevin et al. From.what I have seen from your vlogs, you all (the family) have Andy's best interest at heart. You do everything possible to make his life safe, fun and enjoyable for him and you. I would be asking the social worker's manager or even the service manager to explain their reasoning behind having the closed door meeting. How can you be expected to be a 'Team around the child' (ie Andy) if they leave you out of the loop with regards info etc. I hope that you can all find common ground to work from. X
You guys do an amazing job with Andy. It's obvious that Andy is loved, and that he loves you both in return. Anna is an exceptionally strong person and a wonderful mom. Stay strong.
Love the honesty in your vlogs we all know you are great parents try not to let it get you to down I’m sure it’s a miss communication of information a similar thing happened to me look forward to tomorrow’s vlog
My 11 year old asd son who was at a asd base attached to mainstream reported me to social because he refused to go on a visit to his new school they are pathetic xxxx
Kevin our children don't feel like they belong to us anymore do they. How can we raise them when" it's our way or the highway " coming from all directions these days. Stay strong you and Anna are giving Andy beautiful life experiences. And your girl are beautiful too. Blessings
It breaks heart that they could do this to you .We had a crap time with children's services too. they have done nothing to help us . even though I (the boys mum) was hospitalised due to mental illness and our oldest child has behaviour problems(on top of all his other issues) and will not join any of the activities offered by the social services (they will pay to send him pony riding when he is scared of animals) and our council have ran out of cash to give us any help with restspite care . It sounds like they are not listening to you at all.
After a long time watching youe videos. Not realising my boyfriend also watched he has just stated you are the best father he has ever seen. (he used to volunteer at a rest bite centre for autistic children)
your totally right Kev I wonder if they understand Autism. If the environment isn't right, he wont eat, Its not the parents fault because he has autism. They sound like they are the ones struggling with food, you need the meeting about them....
hey Kev , i realize that saying this may not help but it may, i am a college student in the united states and taking early education classes and shared this video with my classmates and my teacher, for my exceptional children class not sure if that will help you but it is at least helping everyone to be aware what is going on with you and Andy and Anna. good luck
Please read this. I want to thank you to the bottom of my heart today for you channel. It literally saved my life tonight. I would explain how but to many people will say I'm faking it. But you honestly truly saved mine and my uncles life tonight. I watch your videos and have been learning how to connect with people with autism and due to this your videos really helped me save mine and so many people lives tonight and I honestly Truely thank you so much 😊😘
I would like to see them try to take Andy away from u and Anna....when Andy doesn’t want to do something all your getting out of him is no. Jokes aside you both are doing amazing jobs and take great care of him!
honestly, i've done a safeguarding children course and clearly their keeping it a secret when they should NOT, clearly they should tell the parents but not in certain situations like if the parents are abusing the child when clearly your not. I'm autistic myself. When I have interviewed staff for my respite centre we ask this question what do you do if someone discloses something and were looking for a reply saying reassure the child don't push them verbally let them speak then tell them that we cant keep it a secret, or something along those lines.
This has made me so angry. Such a bullshit system that makes good parents fearful , and fails the kids who genuinely are in trouble. Just So, so Angry right now. Hope its all sorted soon though fella. All the best to You, Anna, Andy, Amy and Lucy.
and that will be seen in court if it was to get that far there is only so much you can do with an autistic child and social services clearly wouldn't know where to begin so he is clearly best off at home where he is loved and cared for
I know there's probably a ton of comments with "do this" and "try this" and "tell them this". The reason for that is because of you, Anna, Andy, and The Girls, we have all grown to love your family, and some of us feel personally offended when your parenting skills are being questioned. We are invested in Andy's well-being. So naturally we all want to come to your defense, try to help you fix the situation, and offer advice. My advice to you would be to invite the social worker to come to your home to feed Andy what she thinks is the right things for him to be eating. She will quickly see and understand that it's not so black and white. There is a very grey area. Ugh!! I'm so annoyed. I have four Neuro typical kids and can't force them to eat what or when they don't want to!!
You are great parents, we can all vouch for that. This shouldn’t have happened, best luck for next week. If the school and respite and social can’t think of a way to get his weight up, you are trying everything. They can’t say you are bad parents, I genuinely can’t think of how Andy could have better parents. I hope they can see that taking him away would be completely counter-productive.
This kind of thing has happened to me and my son... some seem to make sure they tick the boxes on their role than looking at every situation differently
Stay strong. It's going to get tough because of the way things are but it's good that Anna's got you because it could be tough without. You understand the system you underland that things can be challanged.
I seriously hope that they see this video. We all know that both yourself and Anna are doing a great job and it baffles me how you're the ones getting blamed. The system is seriously messed up.
Similar thing happened to us over a year ago now mate. Been fighting to get custody of my nieces that entire time and they are are extremely crafty. We’ve had all kinds of lies thrown at us, been slandered to pieces. And you are absolutely right saying that their aim is not to have happy children. They know for a fact that we are a good family and that’s why they continue to slander us because they have nothing else against us. They even prolonged all court cases by months and methodically took the child from my sisters home (emergency evacuation when they were in totally safe hands) the day before Christmas Eve as they knew there were no legal teams that we could get into contact with. A sickening system. Luckily the child is 11 and very wise for her age, she knows we are a good family.
I would also suggest showing them videos were Indy is happy to be at home with you guys. I would also if they try to take him away, just lock the door and do not let them in. The other suggestion I have is moving somewhere else that might be able to accommodate his needs. That if you moved somewhere else you might be able to find a better school better respite services and everything better for Andy.
Aww kev! I’m so sad listening to this. Thank god you’re fighting his corner. It’s about joint up care! It’s the same the elderly none of the professionals talk to each other and relay information. As soon as a safeguarding issues they jump on it straight away. It’s underhanded and nasty how they have treated you. The only positive is that if the school and respite are unduly stressing a-lot good parents the odds of them reporting a real case of neglect must be amongst it all. Maybe one child might be saved in the process! Despite the stress and anger and upset it has caused you all which is bloody unfair at least in the end you will be able to have your say at the meeting and you will be proved to be one of the best things that ever happened to Andy!
It's not like your malnourishing Andy... you do your best to get him to eat and you literally cannot force him to eat - if they put him in hospital then they will force him and do feeding tubes and that but you and Anna as his parents cannot literally shove food down his throat...
I can't believe this. Putting them in an institution, really? That is not a good thing to do to anybody. All's it would do is leave Andy traumatized. He would be very afraid because he wouldn't know what was going on. He'd want to go home. He wouldn't eat, and he would probably end up dying there. I know this for a fact. I really feel bad for what you're going through right now. I would say like I said yesterday, you should find another respite care and another school for Andy. Somewhere where they would be more supportive of him and would take his interests to heart. I think that's your best solution.
Oh, the respite people think that because they can stop him getting out of a locked door, they can make him gain weight if he is permanently in their care, even though they can't do it temporarily without your help? Well that just shows how irrational these people are. I...words fail me.
Mr snake in the rock is the social workers! All jokes aside that’s basically it. A corporate system that the nobody cares about or wants to fix. It is a man absolute mad something needs to be done. I was so happy that you were able to do what you have done and how far you have come but now they have done this I feel like it’s all going to get thrown away and I can imagine Andy not wanting go to school again. I’m so scared for you and Anna, etc. Hope you are all getting on ok. If you need me do anything I’d be more than happy to take action or do anything that you need to do. Good luck to you all
When i was in school i dont remember anything going smoothly and my mom often had to go up to the school and pretty much force her way into getting a meeting to get anything done. To keep me from having a meltdown at school i was supposed to be allowed to leave the classroom and go to the guidance counselors office to calm down. When that failed to happen multiple times my mom asked why and it turns out the teachers and assistant principal had decided they just didnt want to do that. Because it just wasnt convenient for them. Everyone ive heard talk about official people regarding autistic kids it seems like people decide before they even know you that they know everything they need to know and theyre going to do it their way
Unfortunately the nature of having to work with all these different professionals is it’s just a never-ending cycle - we’re never too far removed from them doing something that doesn’t make any sense.
You both are doung great.....Anna dint fret hunny your a great mommy...and you have a great man that's backing u up an is going to fight for all of u!!...Bravo you are awsome and don't back down and kev u are a very kind loving huge hearted man...ppl need to stop picking at u guys for real!!sounds like all working for social workers an respite are shit stirrers......make them lick that spoon they stir that shit pot with
Social services have a lot to answer for. They’re divisive secretive and I’m talking as a retired Social Worker. You need to be very guarded around them.
You know, and probably I don't have to tell you this, Social Services make their judgement based upon their study which they've followed probably for ages ago. I still wonder when do they start to realise that the best for the kids can only be accomplished by working together?
Respite and School is way out of their scope. If Andy was going to them bruised and battered then I could see them raising red flags however they obviously know Andy is going to doctors dealing with his weight issues so what is their true agenda? Since you don't sit there and take their 'advice' on Andy they are trying to get back at you and Anna. That agenda has been there since Andy began missing school. Respite may just be a little more concerned but they obviously have their own agenda as well of keeping their name clear. So sickening.
Wow amazing how you can keep your cool, give some a piece of paper and they think they know it all, like to see how they would live day by day with a young person with Autism, good work, have so much respect for you, my thought is how many people without your understanding works in the system be good if there was a support group for carers as a bran trust, sending kind thoughts your way
Your Amazing love u guys. You are not abusing Andy your amazing parents to him. So there's nothing the social workers can do when u have done nothing wrong. Social work just love to cause sqwit all the time. like me when i was abused by my mum they never want to do anything about it and they would let her get away with it. xxxxxxxxxxxx
You are doing the everything you can with his diet. And surely if they did take him in to care the stress would stop he eating anything so would only make it worse x
My son has cystic fibrosis. It affects his weight as his body can't absorb fats even with medication he need double the daily calories of a 3 year old. He is on high calorie milkshakes but his old dietitian took the away twice and his weight plummeted as they are 306cal per 200ml bottle. I told her every time I was not happy but we could try. She has retired know and his first appointment with his new one he had lost 600gram in 8 week as he had taken then away. His new dietician put his back on them then and their I left the hospital clinic with some till I could get the delivery. So I know the stress an under weight child cause xx
I'm a mum.. a single mum.. my son doesn't have autism. But he had a lot of time off of school due to serious seizures, which he was prescribed a controlled drug. Which is something only I could administer in case his breathing basically stopped and killed him. Because of this, I panicked, as you would and when my son was poorly I'd keep him off school. It got to the point though where I had zero support but I was taken into a meeting where I was told I had to sign an agreement otherwise they'd get social services involved. I signed it and now even if my son is ill, I have to send him. Unless I have a doctors note. Thankfully, he hasn't had a seizure for a while. But if he has a sickness bug, which they recommend not to let them go until 48 hours sick free.. I will have to take him regardless. Which I feel is contradicting. Because doctors say, don't take kids with sickness bugs to the surgery because it's un needed and a waste of their resources and time, which I agree. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm also sorry for spilling my guts and writing an essay. It's such a shame though that the parents who genuinely love and care for their kids, seem to be the ones penalised. Stay strong. You're amazing parents. Never doubt that, although I know it's hard not too sometimes. When people make you feel like you're not good enough. But you are. Stay strong. Lots of love. X
Would it be possible to have letters from the medical professionals to head off any more of the insanity that seems to be coming your way at every turn? I don't know if my wife Tamerah has spoken to you before (Ozark Cotton Top) but we have had much the same idiocy from our son Carter's school ignoring the expertise of the medical professionals in favor of their own twisted (and often illegal) idea of what constitutes "care and education" of a highly complex and quite different case of Autism mixed with other issues that is our son. Had they simply followed the bouncing ball and done what was asked of them in the first place we wouldn't have had to fight this wholly unnecessary fight. My wife and I have rapidly become your fans, and while we obviously cannot do much for you from here, you have our prayers and well wishes. As I said before, God bless and keep you and your fantastic family!
A few points stick out strongly to me: 1.)I know you say over and over and over again that he won’t put up with a feeding tube of any type, the smallest things bother him, a watch, a spot, etc etc. But have you ever discussed with a GI dr the various types of feeding tubes? There’s tiny “low profile” buttons that they give to even toddlers and small children. Toddlers with autism and other disabilities, too. (You’re clearly fit parents. That’s ridiculous.) I just think.. whenever somebody brings this up in a comment, you shut it down without looking more into it? I know you’re his dad and know him better than us, but discussing it with a GI dr couldn’t possibly hurt. Maybe set it on the back burner, idk. I feel I’d be doing a disservice if I didn’t mention that again. 2.) And how long can he live off crisps and rice crispies, you know? Even when the blood results are “normal”, the body starts to leach nutrients out of the muscles and bones and organs and the labs still looks normal. It’s scary, and it’s happened to me. Landed me in the ICU, and nobody saw it coming (except I knew I felt like death) because my labs were still normal. Please ask his dietician about that. 3.) I think you should also tell those social workers if they’re so concerned they need to pay for feeding therapy, I’m sure they have it there. It’s a massively helpful program. And while mainly helping Andy, hopefully they’d back off. 4.) In general, yes, the system is fucked, and it’s absolutely not fair you need to be afraid of these types of things. Same in the US. I just hope some things can change. 5.) As always, nothing is said with offense, and all the absolute best is sent to Andy and the fam.
I always nip talk of feeding tubes in the bud because that's what all of the professionals we deal with do to us. It's never been considered as a viable option, and has never been explored.
lollujo Vlogs hence why I mentioned a GI dr, but the other stuff though? Have you found out if feeding therapy is an option in the UK? I know Finding Cooper’s Voice has info on it but I believe they’re only on FB. So do several other autism family pages. If his labs are normal you may wanna ask if it’s possible he’s in starvation mode and nutrients are being leeched from muscles, etc. idk, just thinking out loud- for what could help him, not to appease social workers. I do think it’s awful Anna has to feel so scared. Again, the system truly is screwed up.
Everyone needs a good rant every once in awhile. What they did was wrong and you guys do not deserve it. The treatment you've been getting is ridiculous and they need to fix it. Nobody can force Andy to eat that is just inhumane and wrong. Good luck Kev
You did an amazing job explaining everything thoroughly by the sounds of things. If that happened to me, I'd be a nervous wreck. I really hope you give them hell next week at that meeting, they need to be put in their place. Failing that, each department need to be communicating better, maybe see if you can obtain individual email addresses for those concerned and update them all (cc'ed) when something happens with one. Eg, when you have a dietician meeting, send a mail to all departments informing them of the outcomes so all are aware?
Previously I've always been the person coordinating the sharing of information, because no one else seemed to be doing it. It's only of the reasons I'm so frustrated, I can't share the information around if they stop sharing it with me in the first place, and then nobody knows what's going on and we end up with stupid things like safeguarding meetings about his dangerously low weight less than a week after the dietitian they sent us to said he was fine. Incidentally, and I forgot to say this in the video, but the dietitian wasn't at the meeting either...
Hey Kev, I've been watching your vids since almost the beginning but don't hardly comment much. As someone studying social work, I would like to apologize for the behavior of the "professionals" you experienced. You and Anna are doing an AMAZING job!! I see no reason why that meeting should have even happened especially since the dietician is happy. Were they even consulted before the meeting? Usually ALL the providers would be involved (social worker, school officials, primary physician, respite, dietician and any others). Keep being the GREAT family you are!!! I've also been wanting to get you guys gifts, but I'm a struggling graduate school student. I'll try to send something soon. Do you guys have a Patreon? I can't remember (suffer from chronic migraines and it affects my memory). Good vibes to you and yours!!!!!!!!
lollujo Vlogs That is absolutely crazy to me. They should have been consulted before the meeting AND required to attend. Hopefully social services get their act together. They seem very unprofessional and unorganized. Found the Patreon and I will donate when I can :)
social services mames me so mad i know wat u guys aaree goin threw boin threw something simular poor anna the thought of them taking your child is the worst feeling andy could not have better parents than u both xoxo
this is absolutely disgusting. i'm angry on your behalf. THEY are the ones that don't know how to work with Andy (keep environment same, put all food out in front of him) yet they are blaming YOU for him not eating?! I would steer WELL clear of the system Kev.
Seems like alot of Govt depts the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing. I think its low that the respite basically went behind your back and issued a concern and then the school etc all seem to agree, even though as you say they are all positive to you.
I could tell you rn what they would have done at respite is stop trying to get him to eat and place an NG tube. Happened to my aunt. She died shortly after going into care.
You've already answered the question yourself, there are kids that are abused and there are parents that are quite adept at hiding that abuse so it doesn't matter if you've been working with them, are a relatively 'public' parent or a 'qualified person' they'll have seen all combinations of those with both good outcomes and bad outcomes which is why they have procedures to follow.
But let's just say we were deliberately starving him - how would a secret meeting without us or Andy present establish that one way or the other? It seems like the whole process was completely pointless, but almost at the toss of a coin could have led to them deciding we weren't fit to look after him.
The eating will be one check on a multitude of checks they have to do when a child is referred multiple times by more than one person. It's an opportunity for those who have been in contact with him and you and professionals with experience of dealing with all kinds of abuse cases to look at whats happening and whether it needs to become a legal issue. Although it's difficult there has to be a certain level of detachment from you on the subject to appreciate the view of the authorities on this especially at a time where there have been a number of very high profile failures in child protection, they aren't perfect, they never will be given the scope and nature of the work but if being considered being overzealous by a well meaning parent saves the life of 1 child it's probably worth doing. If, for example, you suspected a child you were teaching was being abused (in whatever form) but you had a passing relationship with the parents who'd always seemed respectable and nice (maybe they helped out at the school now and then) would your first course of action have been to speak to the parents and tell them your concerns or would you have procedures to follow? Would you consider your meeting with whoever you needed to refer it to as a 'secret meeting' or you fulfilling your responsibility as a teacher? As somebody with far more experience than me has suggested you need to be careful with the language and tone you adopt and how you decide to fight it (publicly via youtube probably not the best) given the nature of the subject matter.
If I could be on top form consistently, I would so set up a respite care company so that you and Andy could still have respite without having to deal with this rubbish. Anyone who knows me knows that if I am worried about something regarding a child, I will be absolutely and straight away talking to the child's primary caregivers. I'm not worried about me having power, or about offending the caregiver, I'm worried about the well-being of the child. This really shouldn't be a radical concept, but apparently it is!
I think the system is rubbish! You are such a fantastic father figure to Andy!
Indeed the best dad of the year.🏅👨👩👦
As a viewer of your channel, I only had to watch one of your videos to realise what a lovely family you all are. Its not nice at all to think of how stressed out these people have made you all... Just know this community are right behind you all. Love to Anna, she is a brilliant Mum. xx
Even 24 hours later I am amazed at how level headed you are able to see the situation. You've got a years worth of video evidence, literally thousands of witnesses to your parenting skills.
What a traumatic time for all concerned. Well done to all your family looks like you've become even stronger as a result.
I'm sure that Peterborough has no abused/molested/beaten/homeless families to worry about. Must be a unique council in the whole of Britain.
I really enjoyed this blog Kev, and completely understand your anger and frustration. I am a secondary school teacher in Edinburgh, and although I'm an English teacher I work with kids who have varying ASNS and behavioural needs. During term time I am brought to tears of frustration daily by the systems and organisations that are 'meant' to help children and families, including social services...it's these very same systems and institutions that do nothing to help and, often create more problems for families. Social services are useless, in my opinion, and I am still waiting to see them do anything to help any of my pupils. The system is ridiculous in many many ways and it's about time that the general public realised how dreadful our 'care' system is in Britain. We will fight on! X
My heart is breaking for you guys. I really hope this gets resolved quickly. You guys are amazing with Andy and it is entirely evident that there is so much love in that household. You guys are AMAZING parents. Anna hang in there. I’m sure this is insanely stressful for the both of you but don’t for a second forget how awesome you guys are! Care package will be coming your way this week but I don’t know how long it will take from the US. There will be something for everyone so make sure you are all there when you open ❤️
sorry this happened to you, You are very kind and very concerned parents. It is obvious you love your son very much.
Anyone watching this can see what amazing parents you both are. They should be trying to help you not planning meets behind you’re back and making you scared that he will be taken away.
Kev . Sorry you are seeing the bad mess that is social services. Hope you and Anna are able to keep strong.
This is such a alarming situation for Anna and you Kevin, im sorry you guys have to deal.with this when you two are amazing parents period. You guys plan your whole life around Andy and thats a beautiful thing, its so scary that one person can take that all away so fast. Seems like the social workers and respite is making things worse then helpful. Andy, would be absolutely devasted if they were to take him away, that would make him so sick, how do they think that would be better for him. I love your family and you two once again are amazing parents and Andy has two beautiful step sisters as well. My prayers go.out to you guys.
Well said Kev. So happy they have you to stand for them. I know how helpless and scary it is being a single mom being judged. Bless you for having their backs!
Social services will always do what they want I had my child taken away for six months because of his autism and my mental health not being stable he has been back home with me since August 2017 and I still have them in our lives child in need meetings every six weeks and have now started getting respite during the weekend and on holidays, you and Anna are doing a great job the difference in Andy is massive be proud of what you have achieved and don't let them get you down
You're amazing parents to Andy, I look up to you both so much as an 18 year old with a brother with autism. Our mum passed away so it's just me and my dad. I'm so glad I found this channel. You can see how happy Andy is! ☺️ sending you all lots of love x
I have trust issues when it comes to any professional that doesn't have a child in their own family with autism. I feel like they need to know what we all go through to really be any help. They love to just smile and lie to your face, and then talk loads of shit behind your back.
You and Anna are doing a fantastic job with Andy. He seems like a really nice and sweet guy. It's great that your bringing to light the negligence of so called professionals when you question their accusations without them having spoken the doctor who's job it is to make sure he's okay.
I think you both are fantastic and caring parents. Stay strong, Kev and Anna!! Your love for Andy is always evident in every blog!
You only need to look at yesterdays first half of the vlog to see how happy Andy was yesterday
you probably dont care but if you're bored like me during the covid times then you can watch all of the latest movies and series on Instaflixxer. Been streaming with my girlfriend lately :)
@Allen Ford Definitely, I've been watching on instaflixxer for years myself =)
Stay strong mate all I can see and im very sure of it is 2 loving parents that just want what's best for Andy. I know how social services are they can be a pain.
That was a heart breaking video and really feel for you all. Why can't people realize how communication is such an effective tool. Really do this k your be better off without social services.
I am sorry to hear about your experience with social services
You guys ALWAYS clearly have Andy’s best interests at heart the system is ridiculous and needs to change
This was such a powerful vlog from the heart! I would get them to watch this and ask them if they feel you’ve not got his best interests at heart now...
you are great parents! So glad you can see that and haven't let it get to you too hard
Hi Kevin et al. From.what I have seen from your vlogs, you all (the family) have Andy's best interest at heart. You do everything possible to make his life safe, fun and enjoyable for him and you. I would be asking the social worker's manager or even the service manager to explain their reasoning behind having the closed door meeting. How can you be expected to be a 'Team around the child' (ie Andy) if they leave you out of the loop with regards info etc. I hope that you can all find common ground to work from. X
Love your videos man , I think it’s amazing that you’re sharing you’re sharing Andy’s story it’s incredible ☺️
You are an amazing parent to Andy!! And your girls
You are caring parents
Honestly kev. Youre an inspration as a parent and as a human. Keep goin this strong. Keep being you bud. Youre amazing
You guys do an amazing job with Andy. It's obvious that Andy is loved, and that he loves you both in return.
Anna is an exceptionally strong person and a wonderful mom.
Stay strong.
Indeed I would be scared if people say we are going to take your kid's way and we wouldn't tell you why.🏳️🌈🌈🏅👨👩👦👍
You are truly amazing Kev
Love the honesty in your vlogs we all know you are great parents try not to let it get you to down I’m sure it’s a miss communication of information a similar thing happened to me look forward to tomorrow’s vlog
My 11 year old asd son who was at a asd base attached to mainstream reported me to social because he refused to go on a visit to his new school they are pathetic xxxx
Hey Kev, you guys are the best parents for Andy. Don’t worry about it
Kevin our children don't feel like they belong to us anymore do they. How can we raise them when" it's our way or the highway " coming from all directions these days. Stay strong you and Anna are giving Andy beautiful life experiences. And your girl are beautiful too. Blessings
I know it is expensive but I would lawyer up . Social services pays attention if a lawyer gets involved.
It breaks heart that they could do this to you .We had a crap time with children's services too. they have done nothing to help us . even though I (the boys mum) was hospitalised due to mental illness and our oldest child has behaviour problems(on top of all his other issues) and will not join any of the activities offered by the social services (they will pay to send him pony riding when he is scared of animals) and our council have ran out of cash to give us any help with restspite care . It sounds like they are not listening to you at all.
Praying for you all
After a long time watching youe videos. Not realising my boyfriend also watched he has just stated you are the best father he has ever seen. (he used to volunteer at a rest bite centre for autistic children)
That's awesome, thanks!
your totally right Kev I wonder if they understand Autism. If the environment isn't right, he wont eat, Its not the parents fault because he has autism. They sound like they are the ones struggling with food, you need the meeting about them....
You are brilliant parents. Keep your fluffy chin up, Kev!
hey Kev , i realize that saying this may not help but it may, i am a college student in the united states and taking early education classes and shared this video with my classmates and my teacher, for my exceptional children class not sure if that will help you but it is at least helping everyone to be aware what is going on with you and Andy and Anna. good luck
Just tell them to watch your videos , they will clearly see you and Anna are great parent. I real feel for you guys.
Please read this.
I want to thank you to the bottom of my heart today for you channel.
It literally saved my life tonight.
I would explain how but to many people will say I'm faking it.
But you honestly truly saved mine and my uncles life tonight.
I watch your videos and have been learning how to connect with people with autism and due to this your videos really helped me save mine and so many people lives tonight and I honestly Truely thank you so much 😊😘
I had the same as you a single mother social making us jump through hoops and it was never good enough you done well
I would like to see them try to take Andy away from u and Anna....when Andy doesn’t want to do something all your getting out of him is no.
Jokes aside you both are doing amazing jobs and take great care of him!
honestly, i've done a safeguarding children course and clearly their keeping it a secret when they should NOT, clearly they should tell the parents but not in certain situations like if the parents are abusing the child when clearly your not. I'm autistic myself. When I have interviewed staff for my respite centre we ask this question what do you do if someone discloses something and were looking for a reply saying reassure the child don't push them verbally let them speak then tell them that we cant keep it a secret, or something along those lines.
This has made me so angry. Such a bullshit system that makes good parents fearful , and fails the kids who genuinely are in trouble. Just So, so Angry right now. Hope its all sorted soon though fella. All the best to You, Anna, Andy, Amy and Lucy.
You and Anna are brilliant parents to Andy Kev. Keep up the good work.
btw inside knowledge if they have safeguarding concerns they will never let you know because they are told not to
Kev it is messed up what they’re doing to you. You and Anna are trying your best
and that will be seen in court if it was to get that far there is only so much you can do with an autistic child and social services clearly wouldn't know where to begin so he is clearly best off at home where he is loved and cared for
I know there's probably a ton of comments with "do this" and "try this" and "tell them this". The reason for that is because of you, Anna, Andy, and The Girls, we have all grown to love your family, and some of us feel personally offended when your parenting skills are being questioned. We are invested in Andy's well-being. So naturally we all want to come to your defense, try to help you fix the situation, and offer advice. My advice to you would be to invite the social worker to come to your home to feed Andy what she thinks is the right things for him to be eating. She will quickly see and understand that it's not so black and white. There is a very grey area. Ugh!! I'm so annoyed. I have four Neuro typical kids and can't force them to eat what or when they don't want to!!
You are great parents, we can all vouch for that. This shouldn’t have happened, best luck for next week. If the school and respite and social can’t think of a way to get his weight up, you are trying everything. They can’t say you are bad parents, I genuinely can’t think of how Andy could have better parents. I hope they can see that taking him away would be completely counter-productive.
This kind of thing has happened to me and my son... some seem to make sure they tick the boxes on their role than looking at every situation differently
Stay strong. It's going to get tough because of the way things are but it's good that Anna's got you because it could be tough without. You understand the system you underland that things can be challanged.
Don't know if your much of a relgious man Kev, but praying for your family all the same. Hope it all works out okay.
I seriously hope that they see this video. We all know that both yourself and Anna are doing a great job and it baffles me how you're the ones getting blamed. The system is seriously messed up.
Similar thing happened to us over a year ago now mate. Been fighting to get custody of my nieces that entire time and they are are extremely crafty. We’ve had all kinds of lies thrown at us, been slandered to pieces. And you are absolutely right saying that their aim is not to have happy children. They know for a fact that we are a good family and that’s why they continue to slander us because they have nothing else against us. They even prolonged all court cases by months and methodically took the child from my sisters home (emergency evacuation when they were in totally safe hands) the day before Christmas Eve as they knew there were no legal teams that we could get into contact with. A sickening system. Luckily the child is 11 and very wise for her age, she knows we are a good family.
I just don't get what's in it for them though?
lollujo Vlogs i really am not sure. Their intentions definitely aren’t good though.
I would also suggest showing them videos were Indy is happy to be at home with you guys. I would also if they try to take him away, just lock the door and do not let them in. The other suggestion I have is moving somewhere else that might be able to accommodate his needs. That if you moved somewhere else you might be able to find a better school better respite services and everything better for Andy.
Aww kev! I’m so sad listening to this. Thank god you’re fighting his corner. It’s about joint up care! It’s the same the elderly none of the professionals talk to each other and relay information. As soon as a safeguarding issues they jump on it straight away. It’s underhanded and nasty how they have treated you. The only positive is that if the school and respite are unduly stressing a-lot good parents the odds of them reporting a real case of neglect must be amongst it all. Maybe one child might be saved in the process! Despite the stress and anger and upset it has caused you all which is bloody unfair at least in the end you will be able to have your say at the meeting and you will be proved to be one of the best things that ever happened to Andy!
I think you and Anna are great parents 👍😃 love your vlogs
you and Anna are doing a great job xxx
It's not like your malnourishing Andy... you do your best to get him to eat and you literally cannot force him to eat - if they put him in hospital then they will force him and do feeding tubes and that but you and Anna as his parents cannot literally shove food down his throat...
We just had this at home bc apparently my parents were hitting me (they were but not a lot) luckily I stayed at home and they stoppedn
I can't believe this. Putting them in an institution, really? That is not a good thing to do to anybody. All's it would do is leave Andy traumatized. He would be very afraid because he wouldn't know what was going on. He'd want to go home. He wouldn't eat, and he would probably end up dying there. I know this for a fact. I really feel bad for what you're going through right now. I would say like I said yesterday, you should find another respite care and another school for Andy. Somewhere where they would be more supportive of him and would take his interests to heart. I think that's your best solution.
Oh, the respite people think that because they can stop him getting out of a locked door, they can make him gain weight if he is permanently in their care, even though they can't do it temporarily without your help? Well that just shows how irrational these people are. I...words fail me.
Mr snake in the rock is the social workers! All jokes aside that’s basically it. A corporate system that the nobody cares about or wants to fix. It is a man absolute mad something needs to be done. I was so happy that you were able to do what you have done and how far you have come but now they have done this I feel like it’s all going to get thrown away and I can imagine Andy not wanting go to school again. I’m so scared for you and Anna, etc. Hope you are all getting on ok. If you need me do anything I’d be more than happy to take action or do anything that you need to do. Good luck to you all
I’m so mad sorry for the big rant
When are these so called " experts " going to see that you are such great parents!!!! They should see that you both are great parents 😡😡😡😡😤😤😤
You do a great job Kev. i wish i had your suport.
When i was in school i dont remember anything going smoothly and my mom often had to go up to the school and pretty much force her way into getting a meeting to get anything done. To keep me from having a meltdown at school i was supposed to be allowed to leave the classroom and go to the guidance counselors office to calm down. When that failed to happen multiple times my mom asked why and it turns out the teachers and assistant principal had decided they just didnt want to do that. Because it just wasnt convenient for them. Everyone ive heard talk about official people regarding autistic kids it seems like people decide before they even know you that they know everything they need to know and theyre going to do it their way
i feel so sorry for Kev, Anna, Andy :( its not fair.
I pray that we're not going back to the problems that were occuring in the first few months of the vlog
Unfortunately the nature of having to work with all these different professionals is it’s just a never-ending cycle - we’re never too far removed from them doing something that doesn’t make any sense.
Yes they do
Hey guys obv lack of communication on their part grrrrrr im as angry and upset as you sending hugs to all xx
You both are doung great.....Anna dint fret hunny your a great mommy...and you have a great man that's backing u up an is going to fight for all of u!!...Bravo you are awsome and don't back down and kev u are a very kind loving huge hearted man...ppl need to stop picking at u guys for real!!sounds like all working for social workers an respite are shit stirrers......make them lick that spoon they stir that shit pot with
You're an amazing guy, Kev
Social services have a lot to answer for. They’re divisive secretive and I’m talking as a retired Social Worker. You need to be very guarded around them.
You know, and probably I don't have to tell you this, Social Services make their judgement based upon their study which they've followed probably for ages ago. I still wonder when do they start to realise that the best for the kids can only be accomplished by working together?
Respite and School is way out of their scope. If Andy was going to them bruised and battered then I could see them raising red flags however they obviously know Andy is going to doctors dealing with his weight issues so what is their true agenda?
Since you don't sit there and take their 'advice' on Andy they are trying to get back at you and Anna. That agenda has been there since Andy began missing school. Respite may just be a little more concerned but they obviously have their own agenda as well of keeping their name clear. So sickening.
Wow amazing how you can keep your cool, give some a piece of paper and they think they know it all, like to see how they would live day by day with a young person with Autism, good work, have so much respect for you, my thought is how many people without your understanding works in the system be good if there was a support group for carers as a bran trust, sending kind thoughts your way
Your Amazing love u guys. You are not abusing Andy your amazing parents to him. So there's nothing the social workers can do when u have done nothing wrong. Social work just love to cause sqwit all the time. like me when i was abused by my mum they never want to do anything about it and they would let her get away with it. xxxxxxxxxxxx
You are doing the everything you can with his diet. And surely if they did take him in to care the stress would stop he eating anything so would only make it worse x
Absolutely, taking him in to care would cause no end of problems.
My son has cystic fibrosis. It affects his weight as his body can't absorb fats even with medication he need double the daily calories of a 3 year old. He is on high calorie milkshakes but his old dietitian took the away twice and his weight plummeted as they are 306cal per 200ml bottle. I told her every time I was not happy but we could try. She has retired know and his first appointment with his new one he had lost 600gram in 8 week as he had taken then away. His new dietician put his back on them then and their I left the hospital clinic with some till I could get the delivery. So I know the stress an under weight child cause xx
GO ON KEV!!!!
I'm a mum.. a single mum.. my son doesn't have autism. But he had a lot of time off of school due to serious seizures, which he was prescribed a controlled drug. Which is something only I could administer in case his breathing basically stopped and killed him. Because of this, I panicked, as you would and when my son was poorly I'd keep him off school. It got to the point though where I had zero support but I was taken into a meeting where I was told I had to sign an agreement otherwise they'd get social services involved. I signed it and now even if my son is ill, I have to send him. Unless I have a doctors note. Thankfully, he hasn't had a seizure for a while. But if he has a sickness bug, which they recommend not to let them go until 48 hours sick free.. I will have to take him regardless. Which I feel is contradicting. Because doctors say, don't take kids with sickness bugs to the surgery because it's un needed and a waste of their resources and time, which I agree. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm also sorry for spilling my guts and writing an essay. It's such a shame though that the parents who genuinely love and care for their kids, seem to be the ones penalised. Stay strong. You're amazing parents. Never doubt that, although I know it's hard not too sometimes. When people make you feel like you're not good enough. But you are. Stay strong. Lots of love. X
It just seems that the whole system is broken to the point where common sense or reviewing a case on its own merits isn't allowed.
lollujo Vlogs it's such a shame 😞
Would it be possible to have letters from the medical professionals to head off any more of the insanity that seems to be coming your way at every turn? I don't know if my wife Tamerah has spoken to you before (Ozark Cotton Top) but we have had much the same idiocy from our son Carter's school ignoring the expertise of the medical professionals in favor of their own twisted (and often illegal) idea of what constitutes "care and education" of a highly complex and quite different case of Autism mixed with other issues that is our son. Had they simply followed the bouncing ball and done what was asked of them in the first place we wouldn't have had to fight this wholly unnecessary fight.
My wife and I have rapidly become your fans, and while we obviously cannot do much for you from here, you have our prayers and well wishes. As I said before, God bless and keep you and your fantastic family!
By the way, I tried to make that sound as "Brit" as possible, since "Ozarks Hillbilly" as a language tends to be difficult to follow. LOL
A few points stick out strongly to me:
1.)I know you say over and over and over again that he won’t put up with a feeding tube of any type, the smallest things bother him, a watch, a spot, etc etc. But have you ever discussed with a GI dr the various types of feeding tubes? There’s tiny “low profile” buttons that they give to even toddlers and small children. Toddlers with autism and other disabilities, too. (You’re clearly fit parents. That’s ridiculous.) I just think.. whenever somebody brings this up in a comment, you shut it down without looking more into it? I know you’re his dad and know him better than us, but discussing it with a GI dr couldn’t possibly hurt. Maybe set it on the back burner, idk. I feel I’d be doing a disservice if I didn’t mention that again.
2.) And how long can he live off crisps and rice crispies, you know? Even when the blood results are “normal”, the body starts to leach nutrients out of the muscles and bones and organs and the labs still looks normal. It’s scary, and it’s happened to me. Landed me in the ICU, and nobody saw it coming (except I knew I felt like death) because my labs were still normal. Please ask his dietician about that.
3.) I think you should also tell those social workers if they’re so concerned they need to pay for feeding therapy, I’m sure they have it there. It’s a massively helpful program. And while mainly helping Andy, hopefully they’d back off.
4.) In general, yes, the system is fucked, and it’s absolutely not fair you need to be afraid of these types of things. Same in the US. I just hope some things can change.
5.) As always, nothing is said with offense, and all the absolute best is sent to Andy and the fam.
I always nip talk of feeding tubes in the bud because that's what all of the professionals we deal with do to us. It's never been considered as a viable option, and has never been explored.
lollujo Vlogs hence why I mentioned a GI dr, but the other stuff though? Have you found out if feeding therapy is an option in the UK?
I know Finding Cooper’s Voice has info on it but I believe they’re only on FB. So do several other autism family pages. If his labs are normal you may wanna ask if it’s possible he’s in starvation mode and nutrients are being leeched from muscles, etc. idk, just thinking out loud- for what could help him, not to appease social workers. I do think it’s awful Anna has to feel so scared. Again, the system truly is screwed up.
Everyone needs a good rant every once in awhile. What they did was wrong and you guys do not deserve it. The treatment you've been getting is ridiculous and they need to fix it. Nobody can force Andy to eat that is just inhumane and wrong. Good luck Kev
You did an amazing job explaining everything thoroughly by the sounds of things. If that happened to me, I'd be a nervous wreck.
I really hope you give them hell next week at that meeting, they need to be put in their place. Failing that, each department need to be communicating better, maybe see if you can obtain individual email addresses for those concerned and update them all (cc'ed) when something happens with one. Eg, when you have a dietician meeting, send a mail to all departments informing them of the outcomes so all are aware?
KangaR FM well said
Previously I've always been the person coordinating the sharing of information, because no one else seemed to be doing it. It's only of the reasons I'm so frustrated, I can't share the information around if they stop sharing it with me in the first place, and then nobody knows what's going on and we end up with stupid things like safeguarding meetings about his dangerously low weight less than a week after the dietitian they sent us to said he was fine. Incidentally, and I forgot to say this in the video, but the dietitian wasn't at the meeting either...
I had weight loss ads on this video haha
You fight them all the way mate!
Hey Kev, I've been watching your vids since almost the beginning but don't hardly comment much. As someone studying social work, I would like to apologize for the behavior of the "professionals" you experienced. You and Anna are doing an AMAZING job!! I see no reason why that meeting should have even happened especially since the dietician is happy. Were they even consulted before the meeting? Usually ALL the providers would be involved (social worker, school officials, primary physician, respite, dietician and any others). Keep being the GREAT family you are!!!
I've also been wanting to get you guys gifts, but I'm a struggling graduate school student. I'll try to send something soon. Do you guys have a Patreon? I can't remember (suffer from chronic migraines and it affects my memory). Good vibes to you and yours!!!!!!!!
Thanks - unbelievably, the dietitian also wasn't at the meeting! We do have a Patreon, the link is the description to the video.
lollujo Vlogs That is absolutely crazy to me. They should have been consulted before the meeting AND required to attend. Hopefully social services get their act together. They seem very unprofessional and unorganized. Found the Patreon and I will donate when I can :)
Here We go another good vlog inbound
You are more fit parents than people who have kids without a disability. And people who think they are for parents
social services mames me so mad i know wat u guys aaree goin threw boin threw something simular poor anna the thought of them taking your child is the worst feeling andy could not have better parents than u both xoxo
this is absolutely disgusting. i'm angry on your behalf. THEY are the ones that don't know how to work with Andy (keep environment same, put all food out in front of him) yet they are blaming YOU for him not eating?! I would steer WELL clear of the system Kev.
Seems like alot of Govt depts the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing. I think its low that the respite basically went behind your back and issued a concern and then the school etc all seem to agree, even though as you say they are all positive to you.
The mad thing is - the dietitian they sent us to last week (who told us Andy was doing fine) wasn't even at the meeting...
And that is utter nuts. Maybe a strong and well worded email to complain? Though sadly that may fall on deaf ears.
I could tell you rn what they would have done at respite is stop trying to get him to eat and place an NG tube. Happened to my aunt. She died shortly after going into care.
You are a top man kev
Good luck 😉
You've already answered the question yourself, there are kids that are abused and there are parents that are quite adept at hiding that abuse so it doesn't matter if you've been working with them, are a relatively 'public' parent or a 'qualified person' they'll have seen all combinations of those with both good outcomes and bad outcomes which is why they have procedures to follow.
But let's just say we were deliberately starving him - how would a secret meeting without us or Andy present establish that one way or the other? It seems like the whole process was completely pointless, but almost at the toss of a coin could have led to them deciding we weren't fit to look after him.
The eating will be one check on a multitude of checks they have to do when a child is referred multiple times by more than one person. It's an opportunity for those who have been in contact with him and you and professionals with experience of dealing with all kinds of abuse cases to look at whats happening and whether it needs to become a legal issue.
Although it's difficult there has to be a certain level of detachment from you on the subject to appreciate the view of the authorities on this especially at a time where there have been a number of very high profile failures in child protection, they aren't perfect, they never will be given the scope and nature of the work but if being considered being overzealous by a well meaning parent saves the life of 1 child it's probably worth doing.
If, for example, you suspected a child you were teaching was being abused (in whatever form) but you had a passing relationship with the parents who'd always seemed respectable and nice (maybe they helped out at the school now and then) would your first course of action have been to speak to the parents and tell them your concerns or would you have procedures to follow?
Would you consider your meeting with whoever you needed to refer it to as a 'secret meeting' or you fulfilling your responsibility as a teacher?
As somebody with far more experience than me has suggested you need to be careful with the language and tone you adopt and how you decide to fight it (publicly via youtube probably not the best) given the nature of the subject matter.
Sorry meant to add hope everything goes well with it and you get the result you want in the end.
If I could be on top form consistently, I would so set up a respite care company so that you and Andy could still have respite without having to deal with this rubbish. Anyone who knows me knows that if I am worried about something regarding a child, I will be absolutely and straight away talking to the child's primary caregivers. I'm not worried about me having power, or about offending the caregiver, I'm worried about the well-being of the child. This really shouldn't be a radical concept, but apparently it is!
This is exactly what I’ve asked for. It seems it’s not how the world works though, which didn’t make any sense to me...
That's Fine I Have Enjoyed It because I'm Watching you!! ❤️
NOT In a weird way