How To Be More Socially Attractive - Charlie Houpert
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- Опубліковано 4 чер 2024
- Most people wish that they were better communicators. More engaging, more confident, and more charming. Charlie runs the biggest charisma channel on UA-cam, Charisma on Command, with more than 5 million subscribers and has taught thousands of people how to be more attractive and compelling in their communication.
Expect to learn the 5 archetypes of charismatic communication, how to greet someone with genuine energy, how to overcome being shy, the principles of communicating attractively to women, how to be better at small talk, how to add more humour into your conversations, why Charlie got his entire family to take MDMA, who Charlie thinks is the most charming communicator that Charisma on Command has ever featured and much more...
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#confidence #charisma #communication
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00:00 Intro
03:44 Understanding Charisma
09:17 Charlie’s Biggest Influences
13:17 Definition of Introvert & Extrovert
21:21 The Problem with Hustle Culture
29:50 Principles for Charismatic Communication
37:13 Charisma Lessons from Russell Brand
41:13 How to Overcome Shyness
48:36 How to Flirt with Women
59:32 How to Add Humour into a Conversation
1:07:59 Ben Shapiro & The Problem with Modern Debating
1:12:52 How Charlie Got His Whole Family to Take MDMA
1:23:57 Opportunities to Reprogram Yourself
1:41:54 Where to Find Charlie
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Get in touch in the comments below or head to...
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Email: chriswillx.com/contact/
LES GOH. Here's the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
03:44 Understanding Charisma
09:17 Charlie’s Biggest Influences
13:17 Definition of Introvert & Extrovert
21:21 The Problem with Hustle Culture
29:50 Principles for Charismatic Communication
37:13 Charisma Lessons from Russell Brand
41:13 How to Overcome Shyness
48:36 How to Flirt with Women
59:32 How to Add Humour into a Conversation
1:07:59 Ben Shapiro & The Problem with Modern Debating
1:12:52 How Charlie Got His Whole Family to Take MDMA
1:23:57 Opportunities to Reprogram Yourself
1:41:54 Where to Find Charlie
Fantastic conversation. My 91th in intellect and 75th in openess to experience highly appreciate this one.
The story with his father was 3 sentences and it tore me to pieces instantly. Awesome to hear him on a podcast interviewed by specifically you.
I hope the best on your quest toward enlightenment. Theres levels. All my blessings bub.
4:36
6
This was great :) even though I was hoping for more beauty tips 😉
💜 Would 100% pay for Part Time Prettyboy Academy
I gotchu
- workout
- Eat more clean/less processed food
- Smile
- don't use makeup
- Dress matching to your unique body propositions
😂😂😂 nice one
@@hauntedhose he knew it was a joke. His joke was answering seriously
@@ChrisWillx we w
Having “strong opinions held loosely, rather than loose opinions held loosely” is the key to a more harmonious way of life… Brilliant sentence.
"Loose opinions held strongly"***
I think they said
@@GM-qi8pw Yes, it's at 40:55
Totally agree - if your strong opinions are held loosely, I feel like that says that you’re not afraid. You’re eager to take on new information and learn, otherwise your opinions wouldn’t be strong in the first place.
Golden sentence there damn
That doesn't work in the long term. That was me 100% but my wife is now my ex-wife b/c I never had a firm opinion about anything, didn't think things were worth discussing, never made firm decisions, often answered with "whatever". Beware the loose/loose combo.
Chris, you’re probably the best podcaster I ever listened to. Better than the big ones.
Thank you Kay. Turning idols into rivals.
+1. He's right up there with Rogan. If not even a clearer speaker.
@@petestrouse7411 Chris is leagues above as an interviewer. In recent months, Rogan will take every guest off on the same irrelevant tangents, and rarely extract anything interesting or insightful from the guest.
@@georgelovell1 lol this is a prime example of toxic internet expectation that is so unrealistic. Do you think there is an unlimited amount of quality guests that always have something insightful to say? Rogan has done a lot of high level interviews and Chris himself is going upwards. Why can't people just enjoy both.
Facts
Having something interesting to say exponentially creates charisma. This comes from actually developing an interesting value, be knowledgeable, be valuable, be interesting
Problem. The left.
Cute theory tho.
@@OoO-rf2gt haha, that's a good point. But without the pre-established popular outlets like corporate media and Hollywood celebs, university professors, how "interesting" would the message of "the left" actually be?
@@MystiqWisdom well you tell me.. With all of these institutions running at full steam, are you feeling very compelled by them?
I would argue "get woke go broke" would put that paper tiger to rest.
Pretiege only gets you as far as the shit hitting the fan. This is true of all things. A war zone being one example and woke ideology being another.
One is real the other is far from it. One always dissolves the other no matter how established your brand or self belief, when it comes down to somthing tangible and real the strawman falls apart.
@@OoO-rf2gt lmao stop whining and playing victim to "woke culture"
@@OoO-rf2gt What are you talking about?
It's amazing how Chris meets Charlie at his level of emotion.
I never comment but this is worth my time. These are the two fellas, along with Ben, that have changed the way that I think and live. It's great to finally see this collab. This is the type of conversation that I strive for in my own life. I really appreciate the work that these two are doing. Thanks!
Victor mentality. Seize the day man.
Which Ben? Shapiro?
@@_Palesa_M I would assume Charlie's business partner/podcast co-host Ben
@@twhiteofrd_1102 Oh 🙈 Thank you!
These two got me through 2020. I listen to both podcasts weekly
One of the best podcasts I’ve listened to lately. Two of my favorite personalities! 🔥
Woooh Cole Rolands hear too? 😅
Man your A7x covers are kick ass
I think it’s important to remember that being yourself can be different in one moment to the next.
Just finished 6 pillars of self-esteem after hearing about it on here! Such a great book!
You'd recommend?
@@ChrisWillx Yes, please read. Life changing book.
00:00 🏋 Charisma is like fitness; most people neglect it, but a small effort can make you stand out.
03:51 🧠 Charisma has various styles: high conviction (e.g., Conor McGregor), authentic (e.g., Joe Rogan), funny (e.g., Kevin Hart), energetic (e.g., Will Smith), and empathetic (e.g., Oprah Winfrey).
06:10 🔄 Changing yourself for charisma isn't self-betrayal; it's evolving to be the best version while retaining your essence.
08:30 💪 Personality is shaped by past experiences; evolving involves unlearning patterns from younger years.
11:45 📚 Books like "Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" emphasize that confidence is earned through behavior, not an inherent birthright.
14:47 🔄 Introversion and extroversion are about where you get energy; it's fluid, influenced by both genes and experiences.
17:18 🔄 Unintended consequences: Pursuing constant socializing for charisma can create anxieties and new neuroses; true choice is essential.
19:13 🔄 Be cautious about dedicating yourself to certain pursuits in your early years (18 to 25), as they may become obstacles later. Consider the potential challenges of unwinding commitments.
21:48 🔄 Advantages in one phase of life can become obstacles in the next. Recognize when the strategies that brought you success need to be reevaluated and adapted for future growth.
23:13 🔄 The video discusses concerns about "hustle culture," emphasizing the importance of working effectively over working harder. Balancing life and avoiding burnout is crucial.
30:06 🤔 When initiating a conversation, set the vibe a level higher than necessary to be a conversational leader. Avoid literal responses to common questions and provide multiple hooks for the other person to connect with.
31:18 🔄 Instead of answering questions literally, offer responses that provide interesting hooks for the other person to connect with, creating more engaging and dynamic conversations.
34:04 🔄 Breaking away from implicit social norms in the workplace by injecting fun into interactions can foster human relationships, leading to professional success.
35:42 🔄 Charisma levels are not infinitely malleable, but anyone can considerably improve their charisma. Not everyone can transform drastically, but improvement is achievable.
37:21 💬 Russell Brand's charisma principles include treating everyone flirtatiously, using a push-pull dynamic in communication, and exhibiting unpredictability, suggesting authenticity.
38:57 💬 Russell Brand's unpredictability in responses adds authenticity, making him fascinating to listen to. The ability to switchbetween jokes and sincere, value-driven answers makes his communication style captivating.
39:25 🎭 Authenticity is crucial; some public figures may raise questions about their true selves if their stories always have the same punchline.
40:08 🤝 Russell Brand excels in authentic communication, maintaining curiosity and playfulness even in political or spiritual disagreements.
41:35 🦸♂ Overcoming shyness involves progressive exposure therapy; start by saying one extra sentence to lower the filter on what's acceptable to express.
43:28 🗣 Finish sentences with the same decibel level you started; practice deliberate conversational assertiveness for shy individuals.
45:20 🔄 Balancing deliberate skill-building with being in the flow ofconversation is crucial for growth in communication.
46:45 ⏰ Deliberate practice, similar to Tiger Woods rebuilding his swing, may involve stepping back initially to improve conversational skills.
48:41 💬 Principles for men communicating attractively to women: show interest, have genuine standards, and manage sexual tension.
54:16 🌐 In small talk, focus on playful world-building; engage in improvisational fantasy scenarios to create a fun and flirty vibe.
56:24 🚀 When discussing your job, speak to your values rather than just logistics; share what drives you and your life philosophy.
57:59 🌐 Most men go wrong by not engaging in conversation; they often disqualify themselves before speaking, missing opportunities for genuine connection.
58:55 🌐 Flirting with the world, being outgoing and friendly habitually, creates a powerful social presence that feels natural and engaging.
59:22 🤣 Adding humor to conversations involves having both a genuine answer and a playful response to common questions, providing a balance of authenticity and lightheartedness.
01:00:56 😄 An easy way to inject humor is by saying the opposite of what people expect, creating unexpected moments that induce laughter.
01:01:24 🎭 Prime yourself for humor by watching content from comedians you enjoy before social interactions, influencing your mindset and conversation style.
01:02:34 🤩 Tim Dillon is praised for his rapid and clever humor, showcasing the value of quick-wittedness in communication and comedy.
01:03:17 🎭 Improv comedy classes are recommended for those serious about developing humor, offering valuable skills in world-building, quick thinking, and comedic timing.
01:04:41 🗣 Effective communicators like Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, and Bill Clinton excel in storytelling and creating a sense of safety for open conversation.
01:07:30 🌟 Kevin Hart's ability to command attention and lead conversations, even with a significant height difference, highlights his exceptional communication skills.
01:09:01 💬 In debates, using humor strategically, as seen in Ben Shapiro's tactics, can be powerful in discrediting opponents and winning social approval.
01:12:05 😄 Stephen Fry's ability to inject humor into debates can bridge gaps and humanize individuals with opposing views, fostering better understanding.
01:13:57 🌈 Psychedelic therapy, particularly with MDMA, facilitated significant positive changes in Charlie's life, leading to transformative family experiences and a sense of purpose.
01:17:28 🌌 Exploring the concept of psychedelic therapy is recommended, acknowledging it may not be suitable for everyone but emphasizing its potential for profound personal growth.
01:19:40 🔄 Early childhood experiences, especially in the family, shape one's understanding of concepts like love and power, forming lifelong "accents" in these areas.
01:20:22 🤝 Recognizing and respecting parental wisdom, even if they lack knowledge in modern technologies, is crucial for personal growth and avoiding the dismissal of valuable advice.
01:21:47 🔄 Life involves a continual process of self-discovery, where what serves you at one stage may become problematic later. The challenge is to navigate these changes and find a balance.
01:23:09 💔 Overcompensating to avoid past pains can lead to unhealthy behaviors, and the willingness to experience discomfort is essential for personal growth.
01:25:40 💰 Achieving financial and other goals may not provide lasting fulfillment; the mindset and thought patterns play a crucial role in one's happiness.
01:29:10 🤔 The pursuit of goals can become an endless cycle if not grounded in self-awareness, leading to perpetual dissatisfaction and the constant moving of goalposts.
01:31:55 🔄 Anticipatory beings, humans often find the most enjoyment in the anticipation of events, and dissatisfaction is inherent in our nature.
01:34:56 🔄 Unrealistic idealism is wired into human nature, and recognizing that the imagined satisfaction of an experience will always exceed the reality can lead to a more content life.
01:37:15 🔄 Pursuing external validation, such as charisma and social approval, may not significantly enhance one's subjective experience of life; the real joy often lies in appreciating the present moment and reality.
01:40:55 💡 The journey towards enlightenment involves navigating disappointment and frustration rather than achieving a state of perpetual satisfaction.
Thank man can see you put a effort in. ❤
Thanks for the effort
Chris should pin this comment.
Joe Rogan authentic. Thanks for the laugh.
“One of the things guys miss out is having genuine standards” 😂 he said that so sincerely.
Pain Lmao😂😂😂
It's the truth. We literally have a word for guys with 0 standards, we call them "simps"
@@dynamicpaintball you're lost
@@45blank16lmao what? How is he lost, that is literally what they are…
"Guys with 0 standards" is a much much much broader category of men and "simps" is basically a minor subcategory within that broader category, is what I would say
I was thinking it would be great if you had talked to Charlie and/or Ben. I love charisma on command, it has given me tools in life that have made a real difference. They are both great!
You manifested this episode Brenden.
@@ChrisWillx they had you in their thumbnail for Their Female Dating Strategy video and I was so hoping that you were a guest on it
Softly tap the "like" button. For the algorithm.
I think what makes Chris one of the best interviewers is that he finds out why people say what they say rather than just accepting it at face value.
“Self-esteem is your reputation with yourself”
“Your nature is not pre-determined, but it is pre-disposed”
“The advantages of one phase in your life will be then obstacles in the next”
“Strong opinions held loosely, not loose opinions held strongly”
“It is far easier to achieve your material desires than to renounce them”
Wow... This podcast had way to many quotable mic-drop moments. Great listen! Thanks for this you two!
Appreciate you writing these out for us
Learn to find people fascinating and you will draw most people to you. People really enjoy being seen and heard. Be open hearted and generous and you will have others respond the same way to you.
This 1000% it’s how I’ve applied myself and I’ve seen a huge increase in how much people engage with me
@@nannoreul Both of you are females. This rule doesn't apply to men.
This guy is legit! He’s sharp, level headed, and genuine! He’s helped me land some talent
I’ve always talked about how anticipation is better than the actual thing, and haven’t heard someone else articulate it so well! Thank you!
Being the eldest son for 5 siblings and 2 working class parents, when Charlie got to the part where he talks about his family it hit me on a very deep level I didn't know existed up until now.
Thank you Chris for this podcast, it was amazing to listen to!
Definition of charisma;( at 36 seconds in) , saying he gets up at "around 11am" and not looking like he's being judged!
The thing about the shyness filter and conversational assertiveness is so spot on.
This is probably one of the best podcast episodes I’ve ever listened to! Thank you for this gem gentlemen. Will definitely be revisiting this one time and time again
This is one of the greatest conversations of all time .
Yall covered stuff I think about every day.
The Bill Clinton thing is true. I was one of those people in a line to meet him and he absolutely made every single person I could see, have that important moment with him. Every single person thought he was so warm and comfortable. He hardly had to say anything to convey that feeling. He had that air. And just saying “thank you” he made it feel so genuine. It’s like he is so comfortable in himself that he doesn’t need to say much to make you feel comfortable and important.
Great guest. Charlie is a very interesting guy. Looking forward to seeing them interview you on their podcast too Chris.
Really? 🤔
Charlie is a legend, really helped out my social abilities with some good advice.
I remember years ago when I started bartending and discovered Charisma on Command. Looking back on how many things I learned from Charlie and how useful they are to this day. Great interview, love the reminder to be present in life rather than anticipating the next dopamine hit
I love these dudes. Such positive influences for everyone especially us men. Big ups guys. Y’all are doing some very good work 👍
"Your ability to be idealistic is always going to outstrip realities ability to deliver that to you." - Chris Williamson
LOVE THE PODACST. So much learning, acumen and insights I have got!
I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation! So many nuggets of wisdom; I'll definitely need to watch this again to revisit some of the topics discussed.
Charlie is awesome. Really like him, and feel we’ve had similar journeys over the years
The conversation towards the end was so good and so insightful and I didnt realize i needed to hear those things
How did I miss this? Been listening to Charlie for a few years and love his channel.
@ 27:04 I made this realization recently. I started writing down and reflecting on parts of my life that are already the way I want them to be (reflecting on gratitude, too) so that I'm already predisposed to identify that my life is good.
Absolutely fantastic podcast. So much wisdom, I'm literally taking notes!
Extraordinarily engaging and insightful conversation. Thank you both.
Just discovered this podcast. Spent my entire day off just listening to several episodes.
One of the most helpful podcasts I’ve ever watched! Thank you
convicting, challenging & truth! You really have a gift to see & interpret things the general public does not
You two are by far my two favorite UA-cam people thank you for this conversation you are both brilliant and I appreciate the wisdom I hear from both of you
So cool listening to him admit that he's made it to the end of the rainbow and the pile of gold ain't all that. Hearing someone admit that their path/ program/ company ISN'T the end all be all to happiness is really refreshing.
Why does this video have so few views ? what the hell, this has got to be one of the first podcasts I really want to rewatch because there was SO MUCH ground covered. Holy crap, too many lessons that could span a decade to truly understand. Thanks Chris.
Because it´s not very charismatic.
Too much focus on being fake...
Because it’s long 🤷🏻♂️
typically being sober and facing harsh challenges is the best route to becoming stronger
That is the largest smile I have ever seen. It's wonderful how just some physical features can bring me such joy and positivity.
Julia Roberts son.
I watch both of your podcasts and was super excited to see you both collab, great episode 👍
Well done. Thanks for sharing this conversation. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing his take and listening to your questions.
this is one of the realest convos i’ve ever heard. fantastic stuff boys
15:15
"Our nature does not predetermine but it does predispose."
Fascinating aphorism!
Omgg!! It's so good to see Charlie on your podcast!! I've been a long time fan of his videos!
Great collab.
Charisma is somehow both the easiest and the hardest thing to work on and definitely needs more of my intentional effort.
Also, what a relief when a video podcast has excellent audio and visual quality.
This was a good and solid episode! I have been following both of you guys for a while, so it was cool seeing you do this! Much love from Norway!
Always loved charlie
Love guys who think they’re charismatic but they’re just good-looking so people pay more attention to them
This is a long video, and yet I have never been so completely captivated that I could not turn it off. Great information, and interviewing. Top performance. 🤩
you guys just listened to each other and also talked to each other. That is a great one.
I'm 35 and i'm going through all this that you guys are talking about. Thanks guys this helps alot. Hope you both have a great day!
Whats your advice for an early 20 year old
@@EPCauto2take risks but treat your reputation like your life depends on it
absolutely love this
man, I enjoyed the conversation so much. Its so saturated with value!
Peace be upon you all of you,
Just like The Speaker from Charisma on command channel
In my young days I was somewhat of a reserved during my teengage years and People would tell
they Like my personality.
I spoke often infront my peers and even got up to answer question at a conference of about 3000 people.
But I benefited alot my channels like Coc and this one.
To be more charismatic empathically,
energitically and comedically
For the young people reading this
Go and own your charismatic self.
Two hot guys with amazing smiles and personalities and hyper intense minds, this is what Im looking for.
This was honestly one of the greatest podcasts I have listened to lately. More power to you Chris and Charlie!
I love this guys channel it helped me alot with confidence and social skills! God bless
Thank you very much for this amazing podcast.
"self-esteem is your reputation with yourself" something that sounds so obvious once you've heard it. But I honestly never thought about it in that way.
Great insight barely 10min into the video bodes well for rest of the interview :)
This is one of the best podcasts I’ve ever watched if not the best
We all need to get better with leaving the marshmallows! Delayed gratification for something real and consistent. I love the dialogue here, so much wisdom, awareness and maturity! I love your talks! ❤I’m 51 and I’ve finally got better at enjoying the journey as well as the learning and humility from the suffering and struggles! 💯desire happens in the anticipation! 🎉
The best podcast episode I’ve ever witnessed. Helped me a lot honestly. Thanks!
This is such a fantastic video. So easy to listen to. Had to share it with several people. ❤
1:21:14 is why Chris is winning at podcasts. Taking something the guest said an hour ago and flipping it to make it relevant in a new context. Amazing
Been listening to the both of you for a while. So great to see this collab. Also good to know even podcasters go through the League of Legends rage phase like the rest of us.
The friend repeating your joke loudly is such a relatable experience. I can't believe it happens with others too.
This was one of my favorites so far! GREAT podcast, fun, informative, and educational!
These longer videos are the ticket. Keep em coming
Just found out about this podcast. So glad I did. A lot of good information here. Gonna rewatch it again!
Been listening to Charlie for years. Great podcast, fellas.
fantastic episode, life-changing advice
Love this guy!
Yay! My two favorite UA-camrs!! Didn’t see this one coming
He wakes up at 11am? Whew he definitely charisma’d me into wanting his life.
I would feel so lethargic if I woke up around that time.
Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz is a great book if you want to make changes to your personality. Helped me become way more confident and lost the fear of asking women out.
The conversation at 28 minutes, reminds me of a quote from "The Orchid Thief" something along the lines of passionate focus on one topic prevents you from being overwhelmed by everything..
It really helps if you're actually interesting when you're trying to be more interesting.
I've listened 30 something minutes in, and I keep thinking that I'm listening to a person that plays video games and wakes up at 11am on how to be attractive, yeah right dude. ✅️
Great point. I thought he was kidding until he kept going.
Hey I totally agree that my first impression of him wasn't great. By the end it was pretty clear that he's an appealing dude with some great tips on how to improve in social situations. His advice on things to avoid/ apply during conversations with girls/ others in general was awesome and discipline is far from everything especially when it comes to being interesting. Just my 2 cents
No one is perfect, we all have our demons and vices.
I legit thought that within the first 60 seconds when hearing that his dog doesn’t even get let outside til 11am! 😮 I’m sorry but I can’t respect advice from some that’s irresponsible with ownership of a pet.
See that is the thing... lotta people can't get over their stigma enough to actually do the things that make them succeed. Someone who wakes up at 11 could be lazy... or someone who works late... Someone who plays video games competitively could be wasting their time... or it could be a part of their meditative process that makes them so effective because they don't deny themselves the things they enjoy for no benefit. Then as an extension... someone who can figure out and master a video game quickly can probably apply those same skills to real life. Games are complex and mastery of them requires quite a bit of knowledge and skill coming together... in that regard, you can gamify most things you do.
As an introvert who constantly works on this… I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. Can relate to all this! 💞💞🦋
Great discussion. Thanks
Charlie kicks ass :) Great conversation.
This was so relatable, i think thats part of the charisma, make people feel like your human like them more of a potential friend, i certainly relate with playing LOL, is a addiction if you can quit it, i did and felt better but i can understand the hook, the other thing is the evolution into the acceptance that life is always falls short of expectations, and that is OK, we need to swing from stage to stage as best a we can knowing that perspective is key to find balance in our decisions, really deep stuff and heart-felt.
How much of charisma is just looking good? Atractiveness creates an instant positive feedback loop with interactions.
Well depends on what you define as looking good. Do you mean natural model-esque good looks or do you mean self care to the point you look good. I think it goes hand in hand as in if you're taking care of yourself, people will find you more attractive. Self care goes a long way in looking good. Hygiene, style, diet, and activeness are all in your control. A natural 4 can go up to an 8 with the right clothes, self care routine, physique, and diet.
Wow, incredible discussion!
Great podcast mate, perfect amount of time too with loads of details.
I love the fact he gets up 11am and doesnt paint some BS picture of an early start and grind. Nobody aspires to have a life like that. And he plays video games what a legend.
Great content, my two favourite podcasts! (I'll let you fight between yourselves who's number one)
This is great information. I'm going to analyze it, synthesize it, and deploy it on my next target.
Great podcast
Your insight @ 1:30:07 is golden!
A lot of people walking around not understanding themselves or social cues. And when people reject you, you don’t know why and fall into depression or anger.
This helps, but it’s so important to build a person’s emotional intelligence starting at childhood.
As always awesome Chris 🙂
Charisma: "compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others", or "a divinely conferred power or talent"... I almost feel like I have a form of charisma, if only the definition was broadened, to inspire hate and loathing in people; yet I know I am affecting them greatly with my mere presence and so feel I have charisma! Perhaps my idiolect has expanded the feeling the word "charisma" has on me! I guess charisma is the word to use when others aren't scared of you, and something else like psychotic or narcissist is used when people are scared of you!
What if you're perceived as both psychotic/narcissistic and charisma inspiring? Is that a natural leader?
Then examine your motives.
Great material guys. Will be buying that six pillars to self esteem.
Improve helped me a lot. Role-playing is a easy way to naturally flow with convo. Things that help with getting the critic-nazi into the back seat!