Wow! I was struggling today with this very thing after being away with my grown married children recently. I now hear you saying that my mindset of looking after others feelings and appeasing others even when I don't feel valued is not right. Thank you so much!! Holy Spirit orchestrated your video to turn up in this moment just when I needed it.
I’ve found it very difficult to be vulnerable without having people shut me down with quipped sayings, dismissive lines, or feeling the need to teach me something. I haven’t found healthy people out there that can just hold space for someone. I actually do this for people all the time (and I’m very happy that I can be there for others to feel seen and heard), but I honestly have not been able to experience that same kind of interest and care from other people in return. I’m spent.
Because of the way I learn, I have to type these information to retain them in my brain. Be aware of the patterns, feelings and cognition. They are good flags.Turn them into words and act. That is how we grow. New things are being changed when we do things. New patterns are developed. We have to do them in real time. Be honest about your vulnerability. Ex. When a person asks you, "How are you?" You can say, "It is a tough time right now because..." that may lead to connections with thoughtful people. Neuroplasticity and that is how we grow. Memories don't go away, they just lose their power as we don't hook them up to daily use. Thanks for the information and reminders, Dr. Cloud!
Usually it's like I immediately disconnect from myself when I'm with someome. Only afterwards I realize it. And I don't know how to get over that. And if I try to state how I canjot tune into myself nor and I'm usually negated "my reality". That made totally be uninterested in sharing anything with more or less anyone.
Wow! This was awesome, thank you so much, Dr. Cloud! One negative pattern I want to fix in my day to day life is one you talked about, and it’s just being honest and vulnerable with people about how I’m doing, job, life, etc. Thank you for the encouragement that “I can do this!” You make what feels scary and impossible feel not so scary and totally possible. I appreciate you so much, and you inspire me all the time. :)
I have been struggling and worrying about my ability to change with regard to my bad patterns in both romantic and platonic relationships in life. This video was exactly what I needed to watch coming into the New Year to give me some hope. Thank you so much, Dr. Cloud!!!
Hi Dr cloud !! Right now my circle has become soooo small ,,,, because I am taking some time for myself to heal … how long should I take before I start to implement new patterns ?
Everyone will be different, as we're different people with differing levels of support & lifestyle. The hard parts are to see where we're enabling others and ourselves in dysfunction (this will be ever changing as we grow). Then it's growing into ourselves, understanding our values, not the values others think we should uphold. Then start to trust ourselves in seeing the green flags in people. Now even green flag people will make mistakes, but the self awareness and accountability will speak volumes. I personally wouldn't give sensitive information because people need to earn that. Just give nuggets & see the reactions and how you feel & above all trust your body/gut. It is the 2nd brain. Xxxx
I would suggest that you can practice what you’re learning more as you achieve more emotional safety. I think the point of Dr Cloud’s video is that you don’t need to wait per se, you just need to know who are safe for you to practice with, give yourself grace as you start to open up or practice new skills and take those steps.
Wow! I was struggling today with this very thing after being away with my grown married children recently. I now hear you saying that my mindset of looking after others feelings and appeasing others even when I don't feel valued is not right. Thank you so much!! Holy Spirit orchestrated your video to turn up in this moment just when I needed it.
I’ve found it very difficult to be vulnerable without having people shut me down with quipped sayings, dismissive lines, or feeling the need to teach me something. I haven’t found healthy people out there that can just hold space for someone.
I actually do this for people all the time (and I’m very happy that I can be there for others to feel seen and heard), but I honestly have not been able to experience that same kind of interest and care from other people in return. I’m spent.
Because of the way I learn, I have to type these information to retain them in my brain.
Be aware of the patterns, feelings and cognition. They are good flags.Turn them into words and act. That is how we grow. New things are being changed when we do things. New patterns are developed. We have to do them in real time. Be honest about your vulnerability. Ex. When a person asks you, "How are you?" You can say, "It is a tough time right now because..." that may lead to connections with thoughtful people. Neuroplasticity and that is how we grow. Memories don't go away, they just lose their power as we don't hook them up to daily use.
Thanks for the information and reminders, Dr. Cloud!
Thank you for articulating those important thoughts.❤️
"Rewire" good advice! Thank you
Thanks for reinforcing this .
Best video on UA-cam I’ve seen in a long time!!!! Thank you Dr. Cloud!!!!!
I like that painting BTW.
Excellent!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. ❤
Usually it's like I immediately disconnect from myself when I'm with someome. Only afterwards I realize it. And I don't know how to get over that. And if I try to state how I canjot tune into myself nor and I'm usually negated "my reality". That made totally be uninterested in sharing anything with more or less anyone.
Wow! This was awesome, thank you so much, Dr. Cloud! One negative pattern I want to fix in my day to day life is one you talked about, and it’s just being honest and vulnerable with people about how I’m doing, job, life, etc. Thank you for the encouragement that “I can do this!” You make what feels scary and impossible feel not so scary and totally possible. I appreciate you so much, and you inspire me all the time. :)
Great example. Thank you so much,
I have been struggling and worrying about my ability to change with regard to my bad patterns in both romantic and platonic relationships in life. This video was exactly what I needed to watch coming into the New Year to give me some hope. Thank you so much, Dr. Cloud!!!
Great thoughts, making changes day to day as recognized.
This is absolutely brilliant - thank you so much!! Love your work ❤️🙏❤️
So good, especially needed this now!!
Great content!
Thank you for these words ❤
So practical! ❤
It's in the "Doing it"
4:00
❤
Great content.
A different painting might be better. It looks like your head is exploding. Lol.
🤣 Yes, a different painting.
Hi Dr cloud !! Right now my circle has become soooo small ,,,, because I am taking some time for myself to heal … how long should I take before I start to implement new patterns ?
Everyone will be different, as we're different people with differing levels of support & lifestyle.
The hard parts are to see where we're enabling others and ourselves in dysfunction (this will be ever changing as we grow). Then it's growing into ourselves, understanding our values, not the values others think we should uphold. Then start to trust ourselves in seeing the green flags in people. Now even green flag people will make mistakes, but the self awareness and accountability will speak volumes. I personally wouldn't give sensitive information because people need to earn that. Just give nuggets & see the reactions and how you feel & above all trust your body/gut. It is the 2nd brain. Xxxx
I would suggest that you can practice what you’re learning more as you achieve more emotional safety. I think the point of Dr Cloud’s video is that you don’t need to wait per se, you just need to know who are safe for you to practice with, give yourself grace as you start to open up or practice new skills and take those steps.
Don't hook the old wires up to daily use.
Because if you tell the truth in most families people turn all the focus on fixing and its annoying af