THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES
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- Опубліковано 29 лип 2020
- Case ########-3 Statements on war. Audio recording by the Archivist, in situ.
Content warnings: - Warfare - Gunfire / Explosions - Loud noises - Xenophobia - Medical Trauma - Body Horror - Chemical Warfare - Medical Malpractice
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Edited this week by Elizabeth Moffatt, Brock Winstead & Alexander J Newall.
Written by Jonathan Sims
Directed by Alexander J Newall
Produced by Lowri Ann Davies
Performances: - "Martin Blackwood" - Alexander J. Newall - "The Archivist" - Jonathan Sims
Sound effects this week by bone666138, RepDac3, Archeostransitking, percydood = garden rain, Yoyodaman234, Izmraul, Owl, _stubb, Halleck, leonelmail, malexmedia, InspectorJ, stomachache & previously credited artists via freesound.org.
Featured music by: kyles
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"martin, i hate your tea!" me: haha that's funny
.5 seconds later
*_there is a wound in the earth_*
me: ok then
The shift is crazy
at first he joked but then he serioused
The tone shifts in this podcast are phenomenally done
jon, who has said he doesn't drink coffee and woke up from his coma pining for martin's tea: i have the perfect way to test if martin can still hear me!
Melanie mentions in a previous episode that john takes his coffee black. Not that it's an important detail but it is mentioned at least once
@@olympus10001 i took that to be an embellishment made up on the spot to try and play off her attempt at poisoning elias as super casual. jon mentions not being a coffee drinker in the fatigue episode, and tries to decline a cup offered by basira during a beholding hangover. definitely not super important to the story, but i enjoy little character details about likes and dislikes, and it makes moments like the one in this episode funnier.
god martin is the one who actually lives long in a horror movie
The pure/virgin is the one who usually survives. Right? Hehe
John makes sure he does.
Wlel they do say the virgin typically outlives them all
How nice that it‘s the end of the world but bagpipe music still exists
Of course it would.
There has more to happen than merely an apocalypse to make that disappear
Bagpipe is bagpipe just like how meat is meat
I love how it was originally described as not a bagpipe and now it's like " fuck it it's a bagpipe"
Bagpipes are the Slaughter's favourite instrument after all
Martin: I'm not here for that. I can't be that for you.
John: *immediately takes that on board and finds an alternative*
This coming from the same guy who said 'healthy' wasn't relative in a ruined world. I beg to differ. Alright, this is my bar now. If two men trying to survive an Apocalypse nightmare world can respectfully establish and follow boundaries, anyone can.
Seriously. Like, it’s so basic
yes this
Totally agree
Martin gently squeezed Jon's hand when he said "you're being ominous again." didn't he?
I'm honestly just imagining them almost constantly holding hands, it's among the things that keeps me listening XD
@@emppu1012 oh yeah definitely, it'd be dangerous to get separated around there
Such a normal thing to say for a lad with a not-quite-human boyfriend constantly haunted by eldritch horrors
I imagined Martin using a water sprinkler on him like on a grumpy cat lmao
How to test if Martin can't hear you "Your tea sucks.."
Well I mean obviously
Imagine if Martin heard that. Just the offended look on his face, even after everything that happened.
I know that it was supposed to be super intense when they entered the trench, but Martin screaming “SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT” while bagpipe music intensified just made me laugh really, really fucking hard
"I'm not here for that." Mmmmm boundaries yum.
We love to see it >:)
I was so proud of Martin
@@treensshafeealcorn3512 same i was just like HECK YEAH BOI _ESTABLISH THOSE BOUNDARIES_
At least they settinghealthy boundaries in this apocalypse
That transition from calm bagpipe music to Martin cursing, Jon yelling, guns firing, and bagpipes bagpiping was great good job editing team😂
Bagpipes bagpiping lol
Truly a shitpost in auditory form. Granted, it has a lot more dread than a shitpost... But a wonderful jumpcut nonetheless!!!
(P.S. I totally imagine a skeleton in a kilt chasing them down with a set of pipes and determination in his eyes)
Just like, "How much worse can it get?" from a while back.
@@crowbird0540 this is a hilarious image, I might draw this sometime lmao
Ikr and after it calmed down a little I immediately informed my dad that there's bagpipe music in this episode (he also listens to TMA) because he absolutely loves bagpipe music haha
I couldn't help it, hearing Martin swear repeatedly as they entered the trench had me laughing.
Same! I was outside and then gunshots and "SHITSHITSHITSHEETSHEETSHIT!!"
Don't forget the bagpipe music
Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit- ...
Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit‐
Martin: "what's out here?"
Jonathan: "Nightmares."
*Scotland the Brave starts playing*
Martin in a deleted scene probably: "OH MY GOD IT'S SCOTISH PEOPLE*
Jonathan: "OH NO WE'RE ENGLISH AND THEY GAINED INDEPENDENCE, RUN"
The Trenches?? Nah, this is The Phobic Ireland episode 💀
😂😂😂
Martin setting boundaries!! Yes!! Jon being his cutely ominous self!! Also yes!!
I’m stealing the phrase “cutely ominous” for my own personal use
Ok that part about the guy being called a hero before the man tore out his heart to put in his wallet.... My god that level of simile and metaphors. That was horrifying and the most horrifying part was that it was true.
“(sorry, did you just lose the last remaining brain cell????) Um, no?” whoever transcribed this episode you are amazing
Oh my god thank you for pointing that out lmao
The one dislike is Martin who very much dislikes the situation he finds himself in.
*He heard Jon's remark about his tea.*
@@crowbird0540_Martin will remember that_
@@cupcaketv5673 this would've been a phenomenal telltale game if it ever were
@@phosismyb1tch717 Fr
God, and I thought the 14 powers were scary before.
In their diluted forms, this is pure terror
Martin, I hate your tea and wish you made coffee instead" Is my favorite, #1 quote of the entire series.
There's something about the WAY Jon says it. Like even though it's such a dire situation there's just that cute couple energy to it--soft, warm, loving, playful, knowing the other person so well and teasing them affectionately. I love it so
Joe Spooky still has a special place in my heart. Also almost everything Simon says purely because of the way he talks
Oof. I’m a vet of the Afghan war, and my first run of this show has me listening to this particular episode just a couple of months after the US withdraw. Lot of feelings in this one.
Appreciate you for your service, man
I wish you the best with prayers, although they may not do much. Sympathy is the most I can offer you.
My father is a retired Marine, thank you for your service
It just dawned on me while listening to this: what if bringing the Extinction about is the solution? An added Power to the "other dimension", that will "upset the balance" and draw the rest of them back where they came from...
bruhh if I'm right I will scream skfhskfh
oh??? there's an idea....
@@f_mva sadly later episodes kinda refute it ;-; but, hey, I had my 5 minutes of mindblowing realisation xD
fluffsnake well, the End will end it all, all people will eventually go through it
I mean, the extinction is already kind of present in the fact that the extinction represents the fear of drastic worldwide change, and thus, the ritual bringing any entity into the world would automatically involve extinction as well. So the ritual bringing every entity into existence at once would very reasonably already include the extinction.
@@atomykebonpyre I like to think that it was actually 160 that brought the Extinction about. It took a cataclysmic change to split the fear of cataclysmic change into its own life. Everything we see from here on in is Extinction flavoured.
It's nice to know that there is still bagpipes in the apocalypse
That’s what makes it the apocalypse
What is it with you people and bagpipes
I feel like the End is probably just chilling and enjoying this.
But people can’t die in this new world, I don’t think. So I don’t think The End is having fun
@@applesmith9137 well, if anything I'd say they're a cycle of dying and re-dying, so the End is probably having fun
@@applesmith9137 And the fact that they're not-dying doesn't stop them from fearing death
@@applesmith9137 The End doesn't feed directly on death, it feeds on the fear of death, and in a world where only dream logic applies, the end of death doesn't necessarily mean the end of the fear of death.
The End: the darkness, the shadows and I have been waiting for this moment for a very, _very_ long time. Time. What a...human way of experience. Time for them is as expansive and fleeting as their own terran horizon. For us, not but a single drop into a feather-shallow puddle.
Simon Fairchild: hmm, indeed. Tell me, how do you feel about black holes?
The End:...neutral.
The unofficial transcript for this is hilarious
Highlights include:
"Jon: I just - (heavy sigh) You’ll probably want to wait outside.
Martin: (sorry, did you just lose the last remaining brain cell????) Um, no?"
martin is the only one who would hear a pay phone ring in a ruined world and go "for me?"
tfw u hear the bagpipes coming in and you're like, oh no
*slowly puts down bowl of cornflakes*
hm
this is it, the best of the comments
Right…
Well, at least Martin got to keep his Lonely Vanishy powers... wonder if this will end with Martin doing some kind of reverse ritual. With him marked by them all as Jon is, but doing something to send them all back.
Oh I didn't think of it that way, I figured he just walked away far enough and covered his ears.
SPOILERS FOR THE FINALE
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GOD I wish this would have happened 😫...
@@monikakavaliunaite8017 same homie.... same...
Spoilers
This is canon, I don't care what you say, they're all alive and happy
"you can wait outside" looks back at gunfire and explosions "no no I think I'm good Jon"
The idea that the Slaughter heard bagpipes and went FUCK yea, This is It.
Jon: Martin, I hate your tea and wish you made coffee instead.
Me: Low blow, Jon. LOW BLOW.
PEW PEW PEW BANG BANG BANG BANG FOOOOOM CRASSSHHHHH BEEP BEEP BEEP KSHOOO SCOTLAND THE BRAVE
Bagpipes still exist even in the apocalypse, nice.
Plot Twist; The bagpipes are the apocalypse
The bagpipes signalizes war
I love the new eldritch God and his bf going to save the world they doomed it cute yet crazy as an idea
Oh HAHA. Sounds like Jon and Martin are visiting one of the nightmares I had in college. Except instead of active war, it was a sea of melted bodies. Gotta love college. Inspires the worst from my brain.
Sounds like my grandpa's PTSD, he was a fireman back in WW2 and I had to calm him most nights assuring him he was not receiving burning planes with half dead soldiers
I mean Tea is much better than Coffee.
Coffee
Rick Grimes tea 100%
Hey, dems fightin' words, I like my caffeine like I like my fears: DARK AND FOREBOADING!
Joe Jenna
Tea also has caffeine, there is no excuse to like coffee.
Tea
this is one of those episode that's really genuinely scary
Right?! The first time I listened to it, I had braced myself, knowing it would be brutal, but there were still several moments where I said out loud, “Oh my god!” 😨
This episode easily wins the highly contested tittle of "most wtf Magnus opening ever".
And so it begins. Welcome, youtube listeners.
Ok these two are quite literally couple goals also the fact that Jon’s release is telling other peoples ominous stories is kinda funny to me
First of all 4:08 wow. I'm constantly amazed by how well the atmospheres in each episode are set, and the voice acting is just so good!!
Also, the transcript reading "(sorry, did you just lose the last remaining braincell????)" when John tell Martin to "wait outside" is so funny!
Oh, and Martin making conversation with the tape recorders... boy, you are a treasure!
Polt twist, the trench goes in a circle
I too very much enjoy Martin's expletives hahahaha
That field doctor gives me nightmares
I have seen you comment a lot. Hello.
@@horrificreader4084 I really like it that you can discuss the episodes on UA-cam through the comments :)
@@Companion92 ME TOO ahh I feel like I know all those who came before me already XDD it's great
The bagpipes in the background: *ÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆ*
Found this one particularly unsettling, the kind of episode that instills intense anxiety in your heart. I was doing chores while listening and actually crouched down with my head in my arms to listen because I couldn't keep going. The style of the Desolation's wars reminds me most of WWI, especially considering the poppy, which in my heart is one of the most devastating wars in history. The men barely old enough to drink promised so much in exchange for their lives and trauma, promised a hero's return only to find when you come home your wife can't bear to look at your face. Something about this kind of meaningless and lonely battle is so ...
Most people in WW1 didn't die of war, they died of disease, malnutrition, dehydration, freezing temperatures, etc. It was filthy, miserable and with no hope of survival or even meaning to the slaughter. And yet... people gathered in Christmas to sing carols in the trenches and share a drink and some snacks with the "enemy". I think the association is intended, including the bagpipes as there were Scottish battalions playing pipes as they went into battle. And there was this mad lad who went _everywhere_ with bagpipes, kilt and sword in WW2. And survived.
@ Aw yeah, heard of the sword guy when I got into WW2 fanfiction. One of those things people use as cameo for war weirdness.
I always read the content warnings, but the loud gun shots and explosions still made me drop my phone.
.
I really like this season so far. And I started to listen to this on Sunday, I'm almost caught up :)
oh my God what was the deal with that phone
I mean I wouldn't trust anything in that world either but the what ifs are eating at me
It's helen calling martin to a tea party and nobody will convince me otherwise
edit: because obviously she has manners and shit, so she would call instead of appearing out of nowhere
@@JoaoPedroDoRegoBarrosLopesVera my first thought was Helen. But then maybe Annabelle.
Though, after writing this out, I wonder if it was Jonah.
After all, he can see everything now
Ok, the melting teeth was something I wasn’t expecting! That will be living rent free in my nightmares’ repertoire now
The man moaning in pain in the background is truly one of the scariest audios I've heard in this podcast
This was... poetry. Gory poetry, but poetry nonetheless. Beautiful...
Martin would be proud?
I _really_ like Jonny's writing 😳
@@karenlinares7541
Hm idk if the gore would appeal to him, heh... But that's the package deal with a monster boyfriend
fuck this episodes was just terrifying… the war imagery was so vivid
I do love the logic of how many of these episodes I’ve been drinking tea with
jon really took the know-it-all attitude to another level huh?
He has literally become one of those prophet types who can't tell you the full story despite knowing everything.
and then they woke up and found out it was all a dream and everyone was okay alive and well
[EXT. SCOTLAND, AROUND KINLOSS]
[TAPE CLICKS ON.]
[FOOTSTEPS, ON GRIMY, ALMOST WET GROUND. IN THE BACKGROUND, WIND IS HOWLING.]
[AN EXHALE.]
MARTIN
Oh, I’m knackered.
ARCHIVIST
Are you?
MARTIN
I-
[THEY BOTH STOP.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Hm.
[HE TAKES ANOTHER STEP, THEN STOPS AGAIN.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Well- Okay, well, no, no; I suppose not. But I think I should be.
ARCHIVIST
Yep.
MARTIN
How long have we been walking?
ARCHIVIST
(sigh) Fourteen hours and twenty-three minutes.
[HE TAKES A STEP.]
MARTIN
What, seriously?!
ARCHIVIST
Yes. I- don’t think it means much out here, though.
MARTIN
We should probably rest.
ARCHIVIST
Maybe- I don’t know, I- I don’t know if we can. Rest. It- feels more like, well- waiting.
[HE SIGHS. THEY BOTH TAKE A FEW MORE STEPS.]
[ANOTHER SIGH.]
MARTIN
…So. Are we going to walk all the way to London?
ARCHIVIST
(a bit of a laugh) If you know an alternative, I’d be very keen to hear it.
MARTIN
I mean- cars? You know, planes, trains, automobiles?
ARCHIVIST
(overlapping) It wouldn’t help.
MARTIN
Alright, a boat then.
ARCHIVIST
Geography doesn’t work anymore. Space, i- doesn’t work.
MARTIN
Alright. So what does that mean?
ARCHIVIST
It means the journey will be the journey, regardless of how we choose to make it.
MARTIN
Right. And you’re sure we can’t just, you know-
[ANOTHER SHUFFLE.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Speed it up a bit?
ARCHIVIST
(inhale) No.
[HE EXHALES HEAVILY.]
MARTIN
Right. I just- Don’t like being out here.
ARCHIVIST
(heh) You see that tower, way off in the distance?
MARTIN
(don’t like where this is going) Yeah. (beat, sigh) It’s watching us, isn’t it?
ARCHIVIST
The Panopticon and the Institute. Merged into something entirely new.
MARTIN
(splutter-scoff) Wai- what? No, there’s, there’s no way we can see it from here. We- We must still be a hundred miles from the border, never mind London!
ARCHIVIST
You could see that tower from anywhere on Earth. And it can see you. And if you walk towards it, eventually you’ll get there. But you have to go through everything in between.
[PAUSE.]
MARTIN
(bright) You’re being ominous again.
ARCHIVIST
(ah!) Sorry. Sorry.
MARTIN
What do you mean ‘everything?’ What’s out here?
[THE ARCHIVIST INHALES. AS HE DOES SO, THERE’S A SORT OF CREAKING- AND THEN WE HEAR THE WEAKEST STRAINS OF BAGPIPES BEGINNING TO FADE THROUGH.]
ARCHIVIST
Nightmares. Come on, that trench is our first.
[HE STARTS WALKING.]
MARTIN
What tre-? Where did that..? Why is that here?
ARCHIVIST
In the world as was, we wouldn’t be too far from Kinloss Barracks. So instead we get the trench.
MARTIN
How’d you know all this stuff?
ARCHIVIST
Not sure. I just do.
MARTIN
(quieter) John. I’m scared.
ARCHIVIST
Yes. (sigh) That’s the idea.
[THEY START WALKING.]
[TAPE CLICKS OFF.]
[EXT. SCOTLAND, AROUND KINLOSS, THE TRENCH, A BIT LATER]
[TAPE CLICKS ON.]
[THE BAGPIPES ARE MUCH LOUDER. WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTION. THERE ARE GUNS BEING SHOT AND BULLETS FLYING AND ALL AROUND, THE CLATTERING OF WAR. GRENADES. EXPLOSIONS. ANY VOICES NEED TO SHOUT TO BE HEARD OVER THE RACKET.]
MARTIN
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
ARCHIVIST
Martin! Stay with me; don’t let go!
MARTIN
Oh..
ARCHIVIST
Come on!
MARTIN
Shit, shit, shit-
ARCHIVIST
It’s okay.
MARTIN
No!
ARCHIVIST
You’re okay!
MARTIN
I don’t know [unintelligible], okay? This is not okay!
ARCHIVIST
Listen, come on!
[HE GROANS, CLEARLY STRAINING WITH EFFORT. THERE’S SCRAPING, THE SOUND OF SOMETHING DRIVING OFF- AND THEY’RE BOTH LEFT HEAVING BREATHS IN THE AFTERMATH.]
[THE SOUND OF WAR IS STILL PRESENT IN THE BACKGROUND; THERE’S STILL A LIGHT FLUTE OVER EVERYTHING.]
ARCHIVIST
(still regaining breath) Are you-
MARTIN
(still shaky, voice wet) I’m fine, fine; I’m just- How, how about you; you’re not hurt?
ARCHIVIST
Uh… (checks) No. No, I’m not.
MARTIN
(overlapping) Good. Good. (space) Good.
[HE EXHALES, THEN-]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
(!) J, J,J-John. John. We’re not alone.
ARCHIVIST
Ignore them; they’re, they’re not- Just ignore them.
[STILL SHOUTS AND ROARS IN THE BACKGROUND. MARTIN’S STILL BREATHING QUICK.]
MARTIN
They’re not- real?
ARCHIVIST
(humorless laugh) No, they’re real. They were normal people before the-
Before me. (exhale) But now they’re here, meat for the grinder. I just mean there’s no point- talking to them.
MARTIN
(overlapping) Don’t be a prick, John. (to the people) Hey, I’m- I’m sorry about him; he’s, he’s going through a lot- well, we all are, I suppose, but- hi, I guess.
[NO RESPONSE.]
MARTIN
Hello?
ARCHIVIST
They won’t hear you, Martin. They’re all- too busy waiting to die.
MARTIN
John..
ARCHIVIST
They sit here,
[A RUMBLING, DEEP STATIC BEGINS TO BUILD.]
ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)
-the image of everyone they hold dear locked in their mind, knowing they’ll never see them again. Waiting for the order.
[AS HE SPEAKS, THE HIGHER, SHINIER COMPONENT OF THE ARCHIVIST’S STATIC BEGINS TO COME IN, INITIALLY AT A LOW FADE BUT RISING QUICKLY.]
ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)
Dreading the bullet or the drone or the barbed wire that will tear them to shreds and leave them nothing but a bloody-
MARTIN
J,John, enough- Enough!
[THE STATIC FADES OUT. SOMETHING IS FIRED IN THE BACKGROUND.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Please don’t tell me these things.
ARCHIVIST
I- I’m sorry, I- There’s just so much.
There’s so much, Martin, and I know all of it- I can- see all of it, and I- it’s filling me up; I need to let it out!
[HIS VOICE GAINS IN INTENSITY AS HE SAYS IT; IT’S ALSO BEGINNING TO SHAKE. MARTIN IS FIRM, THOUGH:]
MARTIN
I’m sorry, but tough. Okay, th- that’s not what I’m here for.
I can’t be that for you; I, I- I just. Can’t.
ARCHIVIST
(softer) I- I know. (beat, sigh) I’ll, I’ll use the tape recorder.
[WE HEAR THE RATTLING OF ITS PLASTIC AS HE BEGINS TO GET IT OUT.]
ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)
I just- (heavy sigh) You’ll probably want to wait outside.
MARTIN
(sorry, did you just lose the last remaining braincell????) Um, no?
ARCHIVIST
(sigh) Well, put your fingers in your ears, then, I, I suppose.
[MARTIN PFFTS, THEN SIGHS.]
MARTIN
Fine, and what about them?
ARCHIVIST
They don’t even know we’re here. We’re not part of their nightmare.
[SOMETHING DRIPS.]
MARTIN
Right.
[IT DRIPS AGAIN. PRESUMABLY MARTIN PUTS HIS FINGERS IN HIS EARS AT THIS POINT. WHATEVER IT IS KEEPS DRIPPING AS THE ARCHIVIST SPEAKS.]
ARCHIVIST
(testing) Martin? (slightly louder) Martin? (one more test) Martin, I hate your tea, and wish you made coffee instead. (hm) Alright then.
[HE SIGHS HEAVILY. ALL AT ONCE, THE STATIC FROM EARLIER COMES RUSHING RIGHT BACK IN AS IF IT HAD NEVER LEFT.]
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
There is a wound in the earth.
A bayonet gouge scored through the soft and sodden mud for uncounted miles. A trench that marks the front line of a war that has no name. It has always been raging, deep in the hearts of the powerful and those that thirst to see bodies piled high in their name.
And now it has a battleground. A thousand pointless conflicts and bitter stalemates stitched together like a triaged chest wound.
It is a butchered border, a thin and punctured membrane between the unending meat grinder and the terrified victims it longs for.
You may find this trench reaching all across the world, and it will never stop, never be satisfied, never think of peace.
Charlie stands there, waiting in a transport.
Once, it was a thin metal landing craft, drifting slowly through a fetid lake. The waters were red and black by turns with blood and oil and the floating bodies of those before them, that were pushed aside by the boat’s wake.
Next to him, Charlie saw Ryan, who he’d known since childhood, though the other details were hazy. Ryan gave him a thumbs up and an encouraging smile- before his face exploded inwards to a sniper’s bullet, peppering the boat with shards of bone and gore.
Charlie swallowed, and waited as the bullets kept coming and those around him died but did not fall, propped up as they were by the pressing mass of people around them.
He could not move, and as he waited for the shot that would take him, his legs fell away in fear.
Now he is in a helicopter, strapped in tight and unable to move. The man in the gunner’s chair is dead, bound limp in his seat harness, half his jaw gone. The thump-thump-thump of the rotors pulses through Charlie like a toothache, and he cannot hear the shouts and cries of his comrades.
He looks out of the side as a telltale line of smoke arcs up and around towards them from the scorched earth far below. He cannot hear his own scream.
He lies upon the ground, amid the twisted wreckage of whatever he was trapped in, feeling the jagged shards of broken bone dig into him.
Charlie looks up, and sees something floating there, silently. It is sleek, and merciless, its featureless carbon-fiber face regarding the shattered man dispassionately. The drone’s camera blinks once, twice as he tries desperately to crawl away, pain lancing through every part of him.
The thing makes no sound as it follows him, matching the excruciating pace of the bleeding soldier. Charlie knows when it decides to fire, he won’t even hear it.
He places his hand down and it sinks, suddenly, into the mud. He cries out as the rusted barbed wire curls itself eagerly around his wrist, digging into his skin.
Tasting fear, more wire slithers through the churned earth towards him, stretching and gripping him tight, rough needles puncturing his legs and chest and throat, pulling him down and holding him steady as the drone lingers, its blankness giving no hint of the thoughts behind its trigger.
There is a rumbling in the earth around him as a tank speeds along its unstoppable path, and Charlie is immediately pulled under its tread.
He has a moment of shocked horror before being reduced to a smear in the mud.
Inside the tank, Ishaan screams.
Ishaan remembers the recruiters. He was promised valor, and camaraderie, and the chance to be part of something meaningful. He knew that part had been a lie, but then- so was the choice. His alternative was stagnant poverty, and that was really no choice at all.
The money would help his family, and he could spend some years in hell, if he needed to. For them.
But he didn’t know about this war, that had always been raging and would never stop. How could he have known what the trench would be?
They had taken him, dragged him from the flooded foxhole where he had sheltered for a moment’s brief respite, and taken him to the tanks, those monstrous beasts of iron that rolled forever forward, guns firing and treads leaving the earth scarred in their wake.
They pass above the trench again and again and they never turn around, pushing onward, ever onwards, the bones that stick in their gears not slowing them for a moment.
Ishaan had been afraid. Terrified that they were going to strap him to it, pin him to the Goliath’s hull like all the other flayed flags of war, striking fear into the hearts of the enemy.
But instead they fed him to it, tossed him into its burning innards and sealed the hatch behind him.
Now, his body has contorted itself to fit, his fingers clutched around the firing lever; pulling it frantically is the only thing that will reduce the impossible heat even for a moment.
From the tiny slit in the metal, he can see other soldiers: baby-faced friends and the monstrous, pig-faced enemy, both falling underneath his iron coffin’s advance.
He tries to cry, but his tears turn to steam.
He waits, craving and dreading the final kiss of the bombs, the terrible thundering guns so far away that none have ever seen them, raining their arbitrary ruin upon the endless fields of the dead and dying.
They are perhaps the only things that can fell the tanks, splitting them like rotten fruit beneath the force of their rounds.
Ishaan begs, pleading with whatever god of hatred and pain he hears piping gently on the breeze to let the bombs rain down on him. To release him from his imprisonment in a single flash of destruction.
But when his prayer is answered, the white-hot agony of melted and crumpled metal is like nothing he could dream of.
When Hasana takes him into triage, she can barely bring herself to look at him.
She wheels his stretcher to its place in the stinking, vaulted tent that serves as a field-hospital, walking through a sea of bandages and around the piles of festering gauze.
She leaves the shuddering man and approaches a nearby doctor, its long form crouched over the open chest of a patient, its many hands a frenzy of scalpel, bonesaw, and needle as it giggles beneath its surgeon’s mask.
She wants to ask about the wounded, about what to do, where to put the new ones, how to help them, but even if her voice was not drowned out by the thousand-strong chorus of moaned and pained yelling that fills the tent, the doctor doesn’t seem to notice her.
Hasana’s eyes fall on the entrance to the tent, and she sees the line of civilians, stretching away into the distance. They are no less maimed, their agonies no more bearable, but there is simply no room.
She tries to apologize, but instead she closes the tent.
As she does so, she sees the trench behind her, and, not for the first time, Hasana considers trying to run.
But there is no mercy for deserters here. On one side of the trench the hungry guns of the vile enemy wait. And on the other, the just guns of heroes will cut you down no slower, save perhaps a breath to call you coward.
So she waits there, in the middle, with the weeping, wounded, and the soon to be dead. Waiting for the enemy to overrun them.
Sometimes, in the distance, Hasana sees them. The enemy, their skin rough, dark, and scaly; their faces twisted around cruel tusks, viciously sharpened teeth, and a pair of beady red eyes. Their lips are smeared crimson with the blood of children, and their greatest delight is to pluck the eyes of the innocent with their bayonets.
To call them monsters is the simple truth. They feel no pain, no remorse, and seek nothing but carnage.
Sometimes, in the distance, Hasana can even see an enemy triage tent, almost identical in appearance to her own. She can only imagine the atrocities that must take place inside.
Far in the distance, she sees Alexei look out over the battlefield, and her stomach turns at the detestable wrongness of his face.
Alexei in turn looks out from deep in the trench. He catches sight of the enemy, their shriveled rat-like heads causing the bile to rise in his throats.
He is bored. The boredom is the worst part, the part that erodes his will and drops him to despair.
There is nothing to do, nowhere to be. The only thing to occupy his mind is the inevitability of the next attack, the next order to charge, the next dropping bomb.
There is no way to know when and where these things will come. But no one will talk of anything else.
His stomach growls, the hunger pushing its sharp fingers out from his belly. There are no more rations, and what there is tastes of cordite and sand, and coats his tongue in an oily film that makes him gag.
He has heard the enemy will eat your body if they find it in the mud. They won’t even check if you’re dead first. Alexei shudders at the thought.
From far down the trench, a cry of panic cuts through the silence. A faint haze can be seen in the distance, moving with the breeze. A new weapon?
Alexei feels his knees start to buckle as he sees his comrades stagger out of the cloud. Their melting teeth flow down their faces like tears, and their limbs begin to fold and collapse as the bones within them liquefy.
He turns and starts to flee down the trench. There is no cruelty so foul the enemy will not perpetrate it.
He runs almost headfirst into a portly man in a tailored suit with a blood-red flower on his lapel. He smiles, pale skin splitting beneath his bristling white mustache, and he begins to shake Alexei by the hand.
“Good lad,” he says. “Good lad. Heroes one and all. A noble sacrifice.”
Alexei starts to speak, to say he doesn’t want to be a hero; he doesn’t want to be a sacrifice; he wants to go home. But the man with the flower reaches his hand into the soldier’s chest, and with a single, jolly motion, plucks out Alexei’s heart and places it in his wallet.
Next to his bleeding corpse, Charlie wakes from what passes for sleep in this place. A sergeant is yelling at him, screaming for him to take his gun and get into the waiting transport. There’s about to be another attack, and heavy losses are expected.
A familiar fear courses through him, but Charlie still picks up his gun, and goes back to the war.
[THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS HEAVILY.]
ARCHIVIST
I, um.
[HE SIGHS HEAVILY, MUTTERS SOMETHING GARBLED.]
ARCHIVIST
End recording.
[HE CLEARS HIS THROAT. FROM SOMEWHERE NEAR HIM, MARTIN HMS.]
MARTIN
All done?
ARCHIVIST
Yes.
[WHEN HE SPEAKS, HIS VOICE IS STILL A BIT SHAKY.]
MARTIN
Good.
[TAPE CLICKS OFF.]
[EXT. SCOTLAND, SOMEWHERE FARTHER OUT FROM KINLOSS]
[TAPE CLICKS ON.]
[THE BAGPIPES ARE STILL PLAYING, THOUGH THEY SOUND MUCH FURTHER IN THE DISTANCE.]
[THE ARCHIVIST AND MARTIN ARE TRYING TO MAKE THEIR WAY THROUGH WHAT SOUNDS LIKE WATER.]
ARCHIVIST
(calling) Try to keep up!
MARTIN
(long-suffering) Yeah, yeah.
[HE PFFTS OUT AN EXHALE, KEEPS MAKING HIS WAY FORWARD UNTIL-]
[HE NOTICES THE TAPE RECORDER.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Oh! Oh, hey- John! Did you- (stops himself) No. No, he was carrying his.
[HE INHALES HEAVILY.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Alright! (exhale) (to the recorder) What’re you doing here? It’s dangerous. Could- get yourself blown up, like all these poor..
[HE TRAILS OFF. IT SOUNDS LIKE HE’S PICKED UP THE RECORDER BY NOW.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Who d’you think they were? Really don’t see why we couldn’t just- go ‘round, picked a better place to-
[HE STOMPS A BIT HEAVIER IN THE “WATER.”]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
I guess there- aren’t really any better places anymore, are there? It’s all this, or worse, or- or different.
[MORE SPLASHY-STOMPING SOUNDS.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.
[AND EXACTLY AT THAT MOMENT, A PHONE RINGS. IT’S NOT THE TINNY, ELECTRONIC SOUND OF A CELLPHONE- NO, THIS IS A TRUE, HEAVY, CLASSIC RING.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Uh. (beat) (calling) John? Uh, J, John- the, uh, payphone that’s- here, for some reason- it’s ringing?
[THE ARCHIVIST DOESN’T RESPOND. THE PHONE KEEPS RINGING.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
John? Is, Is that- (to the world at large) I-Is anyone gonna get that?!
[NO ONE DOES. THE PHONE KEEPS RINGING. MARTIN TAKES A STEP IN THE WATER.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Unless it’s for me?
[RING.]
[MARTIN SIGHS, ONE THAT SAYS ‘OF COURSE.’]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
(resigned) Yeah, it’s for me. (beat of indecision) Uh-.. no. (to the phone) N, no; I don’t think so, actually! Erm, thanks, but that- that sounds like- a really- terrible idea. Hm, sorry!
[WE HEAR HIM IN THE WATER. THE PHONE STOPS RINGING.]
MARTIN (CONT’D)
Huh. (pause) ..Weeell, alright then!
[THE ARCHIVIST STOMPS OVER THROUGH THE WATER TOWARDS HIM.]
ARCHIVIST
Martin, you need to keep up. It’s not safe. (beat) (MORE)
Martin? You okay?
MARTIN
Uh, I- Th-th-there was a phone. That phone.
ARCHIVIST
(quiet surprise) Wh- Oh.
MARTIN
(overlapping) It- Yeah, it was ringing?
ARCHIVIST
(even more surprise) Oh. ..Right. Did you answer it?
MARTIN
No.
ARCHIVIST
Hm. (beat) Probably for the best.
MARTIN
..Yeah.
[A BRIEF BEAT, IN WHICH THE ARCHIVIST TAKES A BREATH.]
ARCHIVIST
Let’s keep going.
MARTIN
Mm.
[THEY SLOSH ON.]
[TAPE CLICKS OFF.]
@@Cthulhuer thank you ฅ•ω•ฅ
@@Cthulhuer thank youuu
@@Cthulhuer TYSM!! ;w;
"you're being ominous again" I'm deceased
that phone ringing was more ominous then it had any right to be. I can't tell if it would have been good to answer or not.
hearing the war sounds continue after the statement ends fills my gut with a special type of dread
Martin: what’s out there?
Jon: nightmares - **bagpipes start playing**
Absolutely loving this last season so far. This nightmare world arc is full of so much surrealist imagery and I love how disorienting the statement is with the constant point of view changes.
4:00 This moment made me laugh way too hard. The sudden bagpipes blaring, the gunshots, Martin and John freaking out; absolute perfection ❤
I just found out in the description instead of saying Jonathan Sims Voiced by Jonathan Sims it says The Archivist Voiced by Jonathan Sims I didn’t know that till now I wonder how long it’s been like that
Further proof that I would make a good servant for the eye, I would have answered the phone knowing it was a bad idea. I want Martin to be ok, but at the same time, I want to know things.
I think Jon felt the same way
6:34 I love that you can hear the sarcasm in his voice, like we know for a fact he's lying because of his tone. He loves Martin's tea :3
Martin: "ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod.
Jon: BARKINGOFMACHINEGUNFIREDOESNOTHINGTOMENOW! SHADOWOFTHECLOCKTHATTICKSGETUSEDTOITSOMEHOW!
Lol ok Sauron. 😂 Keep on watching.
Jon and Martin watching Lord of the Rings
Sauron on screen and Martin nudges Jon and says "That's you"
OR one of the other characters nudges Martin and says "oh look it's your boyfriend"
@@missep1830 Nah, fam, that's Elias. 🥰
I like that martin is setting healthyish boundaries
Yeah the world might have ended but look at the bright side at least now we have bagpipes!
The Slaughter offically became my favorite fear after this episode. It really shows how terrible war is.
Firstly, BAGPIPES. I LOVE THE BAGPIPES. secondly, “you can wait outside” jon. Do you hear what's happening out there? Not to mention THE LAST TIME he left you to your spooky sesh you started the apocalypse. I think he's good.
I appreciate the warning about loud noises, it's not as bad when I know they are coming.
So there's basically a sauron tower they are headed for
That tone change was gold.
oh i see it's gonna be about 10x more stressful than usual, got it
“Grab yourself a laser lad and serve your queen with a smile, smile, smile!”
oh yay new season i was scared you guys were done
This is the last one
@@mimkyodar :(
YESSSS BOUNDARIES
Hi Alex!
*Alex voice*
Hi James
@@loading7496 kinda sus not gonna lie
@@jamesmortimer4016 you caught me
John and Martin are my favorite couple ❤️
Oh man that bit about the guy crawling away from the drone... I've seen that exact thing in some of the footage from ukraine, wounded soldiers just staring at drones waiting for them to drop a grenade
The bagpipes were a nice touch.
As a listener during the Ukrainian and Gaza wars, this episode is......impactful
I know they're going through a terrible time right now, but the loud bagpipes and Martin yelling curses with the sounds of bombing around them, had me rolling XD
For the Astra Militarum that's called Thursday lol. Loved this one, reminded me of the opening for the BF1 campaign where you play from the POV of different soldiers in diffeerent positions at the front line utnil they each die. Funny enough, the tank driver player character from that level also dies from artillery shells.
Also Blood for the Blood God, Skulls for the Skull throne lol
2:23 😮😮😮 What a good line I kinda want that on a poster
Rewatching this is reminding me juat how amazing s5 is... like yeah, jonmartin and stuff but like. The statement here is just so damn GOOD. The quality is literally over the moon in s5, and all the previous seasons were already amazing
Probably a better adaptation of Warhammer 40,000 than about 90% of what Black Library has put out.
Sounds like a day in the life of the Imperial Guard
"Nightmares." *Ominous bagpipes build in the distance.*
6:24 it sounds like guy yells "MY LEG" in the background
Is there someone moaning or is that the infamous bagpipe playing
The slaughter finds music where none needs to exist.
is the bagpipe chaos and martin swearing the apology video for sasha saying "i'm unforgettable"?
Why do I feel like Martin should have answered that phone and that it was the one ray of hope in this apocalypse
Dammit it's half past 1am and it's just too addicting, I need to listen more haha
I stopped in the middle of this episode but thank god I had the smoothie king ad save me from missing a line
full of love 4 Martin
This episode had some amazing soundscaping!! Good job, Alex!
The moment Doom music breaks in
Oh my gosh your guy's humor is so broken 😂😂 I wasn't paying much attention so I didn't hear the bagpipes at first but when I say the cut to the chaos scared the hell out of me-
Okok I guess it was a little funny
Alt title for this episode
Saving Private Martin