okay hi I feel like this video picks up the most half way through? but I always say that. and I know its a little blurry? I really am going to try to get better at using my camera I swear I will ask someone who knows how to do it. anyway I talked on patreon longer patreon.com/drewmonson im nervous
DAMN the part about boundaries hit me really hard. I always feel rejected when somebody else holds a boundary (like the hanging up the phone example), and most of that stems from the fact that I avoid putting up my own. And I think the reason why is because I don’t know when I need to choose myself over others, or what you said about “not knowing where somebody else ends and you begin.” Painful stuff to realize and deal with, but it’s really so important
I totally agree! And I’m glad that resonated because it is something I’m always working on. It comes from somewhere, it just has to be dealt with somehow and those beliefs
hard same. like I’d always rather stay up with someone or go out even if I’m tired cuz I don’t wanna be a ditcher. and when people bail on stuff cuz they need to sleep I’m like dude just stay up >< but, you know.. those people are actually taking care of themselves. 🙃
@@minnie7453 same! I always feel slightly hurt/rejected when someone I’m talking with needs to sleep, get work done, or live their lives. It’s because I know that I’d easily ditch my own life and plans to talk to them. I’d stay up late, put off work I need to do, and sacrifice self-care to talk to them. In the past I’d even hold off on eating when I was starving, drinking water, and peeing to the point I got a uti/pain, just to talk to someone and not end the conversation. Which is not normal at all. It’s people pleasing out of a selfish fear of rejection, and i just end up resenting myself and the person I abandoned my boundaries for, for it. .
It’s amazing how well u can translate ur thoughts out loud. I feel like so many people have a constant stream of thoughts but never know how to articulate but u do it so well and u do it in front of a camera!
I honestly think of you as on the same tier as Danny Gonzalez and Drew Gooden. You're just as funny as either of them and frankly keep me very entertained with very little. I'm not sure if I would want to just watch Danny or Drew ramble on for several hours, but I'll be damned if I won't watch you talk for days about how relatable it is to think the entire supermarket is mad at you. Don't sell yourself short, boy. You're one of my all time favourite content creators
I’m in a deep depression and I listen to you every night and morning as a coping mechanism. I’ve been playing the same videos over and over so I’m so thankful you posted 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
What you said about being upset when people wouldn’t stay up all night for you even though you would do it for them hit really hard. I do the same thing. I feel like no one ever gives me the same energy but then I realize that I’m probably giving more energy than is needed. It’s a hard thing to learn boundaries, especially for yourself. So it was validating hearing say you experience a similar thing.
I do the exact same, And then I feel hurt and like that friend doesn’t care about me because they set boundaries, so I distance myself from them, usually delete our messages out of spite, reply slower and colder than normal, or sometimes even ghost them. It’s bad. But then again I don’t know where the normal level of response/perceived care from a friend should be…because sometimes there are people who actually don’t care about me and it hurts my self esteem talking with people like that
ooof the bit on boundaries is everything i'm feeling rn. "Just because i'm a people pleaser doesn't make me empathetic because it's fear based" BOOM! words of wisdom x
i actually started tearing up watching this, the part about being malleable and not having boundaries with yourself and expecting people around you to act similarly is something i've had such a hard time grasping and your way of putting it into words was so eye opening. thank you
These are like literal therapy sessions to me. I don’t really have friends cos I isolate too, but your videos feel like hanging with a friend who gets it. Fkn love you drew, I’ll marry you so we can go for dinner
"i hate myself but i’m also the only one who knows how to do anything" is so real. that’s how you know when things are getting bad: you hate yourself but also become bitter at every little thing around you and you feel better than anyone. 21:28
Honestly, I feel like you say the things a lot of people feel but won’t admit to because they’re afraid of how people might internally judge them. You’re honest in a way a many UA-camrs aren’t and I hope you know that there’s value in that.
It makes me feel less judgment towards him than people who would hide it because one I relate and two I honor is honesty in a way. He seems to know and share how he feels I would trust him because I know he is only human and flawed and genuinely wants to be a good person and he is aware of his toxicity and doesn’t allow it to define him.
Tell me why Drew is the most real person on UA-cam. Like he's one of the only people who has genuinely shown his audience how much he struggles with his mental health. It makes us feel less alone, I have bipolar disorder and I relate to Drew so much.
It was so comforting to me to hear you talk about feeling jealous of your friends but happy at the same time when something good happens to a friend... I so often feel like that and I always get in a rut of thinking that I'm the only one feeling like that and I'm a bad person. So thank u for vocalizing that.
4:51 that's why i find this channel so unique and refreshing. you're captivating in your own right, barely any editing necessary, and that's so interesting to see
you are my favourite youtuber drew there's no one doing it like you you're so real and just overall a great wholesome amazing human being if I was your mum I'd be so proud love you so much babes xxx
It's incredible to me how casually introspection comes to you, I know is not the same as doing something abt it but self awareness is the first step and I really appreciate you sharing because I then too, can recognize things in myself through you. so thank you. I love these vids.
That’s an interesting point that a “bedtime” is like a personal boundary. Currently I’m wide awake refusing to try and sleep because my thoughts get scary when I do so this will probably be another all nighter. I guess I need to create some personal boundaries
This video reminds me of one my favorite poems it’s called “what you missed the day you were absent in 4th grade” by Brad Aaron . it’s all about the things we are forced to learn on our own and in our own time. Things of life that school never could teach us it’s really beautiful I think you would like it
at 11:10 something you touched on there, I felt that very personally especially right now. I feel so jealous of my friends, and in turn I'm like does that make me a bad friend? I don't pray on their downfall nor do I want them to not succeed, but I also wish it were me - but at the same time I don't make any steps towards it. One of my friends lost a lot of weight after weight loss surgery and she looked so great, but I know it's hard work. My other friends are settling down in serious relationships, getting engaged, married, announcing pregnancies while I still live at my parent's house. I don't have any social media anymore, and I think I know why. It's all so bittersweet to me. I like the disconnect, but every once in a while when I check my FB or my IG, or I look up someone for whatever reason I find out stuff about them. Like so and so is in healthcare and they're a pharmacist, or a doctor or they're in physician assistant school. All of these things I was interested in myself career wise. It is definitely an insecurity issue for me. I recently found out one of my childhood best friends was now a popular content creator. It's like in the back of my mind, I've always wanted to do something like that but I never felt comfortable putting myself and my image out there like that for thousands to critique. And then I thought about it and my other childhood best friend is working on her residency to be a neurosurgeon and it's like my god, I'm happy for their success, I truly am. They deserve it, they're good people. But I'm hoping I get motivated to do something too.
i love this therapy session type videos you’ve been doing because i just sit and nod along the whole time. you make me feel so seen and heard, i wish there was some way you could hear me relating to feelings/situations that you don’t think people will relate to.
21:33 I used to be like this too at the grocery store! So I started practicing patience and working on it. Bad news! Now I am fully aware of why I was so angry (sensory issues and social anxiety and extreme overwhelm in stores)… and now it’s no one else’s problem but my own! 😀 (I still prefer it this way lol but be warned!)
Now all I want is for Danny and drew to see this and they can all three be besties what a good ending to this story (if this was a story and not real life but either way great video I felt this HARD)
For one week I did a social media 'diet' and tried to not at all go on social media or UA-cam. I ended up going for like 15 minutes a day. Felt much better with mental health and noticed I'm reaching out more to friends and family as the social media gives me a false feeling of connection with the world. Trying to keep it going and figure out how to keep it way down still
Social Media has caused us all to compare ourselves to everyone every day. It's so toxic. Please people, remember you are amazing as you are and you are right where you need to be. 🤗
Okay the part about being a people pleaser and not setting boundaries, and running yourself ragged for other people and feeling rejected when they don’t do the same hit a little too hard. The statement “being a people pleaser isn’t the same at being empathetic”terrified me to my core 😅 I really resonated with that whole part and never really heard it spoken out in words before. The way I can rely on people so hard for the way my day will go is honestly so scary.
i literally sat here recording clips of this video just to have on my phone. i have been looking for these words for so long and i genuinely can never be able to thank you enough for getting them out. i think what you do is art. thank you drew. i feel like ur untangling my mind.
Literally had this conversation with my therapist!!! I just got out of a long term relationship where I was in constant fear of him breaking up with me and so I would do anything to mold myself to be what I thought he wanted just to be close to him. But he felt my fear so me molding myself to feel close to him had the opposite effect... he felt disillusioned from me because I was no longer being myself. Thanks for sharing Drew. Made me feel less alone.
the last 3 weeks have been the lowest point of my life and its been really really hard, and on top of that i found out i failed an exam yesterday. its just a really really sucky time. but your video feels like a gift and your videos always bring me comfort in the worst moments, i love you drew!
I know this vid’s a year old but the bit about someone not replying for a while and talking yourself up into a spiral where you’re imagining what they’re thinking/what you did wrong then only being able to not feel that dread when they finally reply is painfully relatable and also something I’m working on
What you said about others setting boundaries and feeling rejected just blew my mind because I never realised thats similar to how I feel and now it feels like I’ve just unlocked something and I’m thinking about all the times it’s happened
Omg around 16:30ish YES THE INTERNET CHANGED and people try and be clever but hurt you deeply. Before it was trolling more. Definitely lots of tension and choosing sides it’s exhausting
Drew as a 17 yr old girl who struggles a lot w boundaries you just being able to articulate how you feel in words helps sooo much it also helps knowing I’m not the only one who does those things and thinks that way
29:00 this part happens to me too. I think it just comes out of being a perfectionist. I've come to know myself better and that I can be quite a critical person, with others yes, but way worse with myself that I would get frustrated and even end up crying when things don't pan out right too. And it would be for the SILLIEST things. I'm trying to better myself with this
Omg the part about feeling threatened by people who have their shit together...that hit hard. I have the same problem. Like darn you shower EVERY DAY? you clean your space before bed EVERY NIGHT? you remember to pay thing WHEN THEY ARE DUE? and for some become personally offended by their existence for no other reason than they make me feel bad about myself lol
Oh my God Drew I swear your thought process regarding the whole feeling threatened when you see someone else who seems to have their life together thing... Wow that's literally how my brain works. I wish I learned certain things growing up to be more structured but I didn't. It's hard to move past that. Also the part where you talked about having boundaries with yourself really resonated with me. I never really thought about the importance of it like that, but once you mentioned the whole "staying up all night until 6am on the phone with someone if they want to" but when someone sets a boundary of "okay well I have to hangup because I have work in the morning" and "well I would stay on the phone for them all night... why wouldn't they do the same for me?" that really made me think. Again, I share that EXACT thought process and I find myself doing the whole neglecting my own needs thing (going back to your example of a doctor's appointment the next day but you're at an arcade late). I have a therapy appointment soon and I definitely will be bringing up these topics and what you said with her. It really really resonated with me and made me self reflect a bit more. Thank you for teaching me something and for making me feel less alone.
the permission to do things after finding out someone isn’t mad at you after literally any conversation where they don’t respond i completely relate to
You are literally the realest person on the internet. I could listen to you talk for hours because it's so relatable. You talk about the things that most people are scared to say. It feels like i'm listening to a friend that truly understands me. I appreciate your content more than you would ever know.
something that touched me is what you said in your quitting smoking video. you mentioned feeling discomfort while quitting but because there was a higher goal it made it easier and rewarding. I see jealousy that way. Putting myself in situations that I would normally be very jealous and realizing nothing has happened and I am okay! and celebrating that.
I have never related to someone so much in my life, you bring such a relief to me. Anytime I have really bad anxiety or panic attacks where I start to think I have about every mental illness to exist and that I’m a terrible human being bc of my thoughts or my feelings that I never share with anyone, I come to your videos and hearing you have the same thoughts I do just make me feel at ease. You are not alone, I am not alone, and anyone else who can relate to your videos and your inner thoughts you share with us is not alone! Thank you, for your videos, for your openness to share how you feel and the things you experience. You are helping so many people feel like normal human beings.
wait on the topic of people leaving stuff in that you’re like, “oh… why?” i just remembered that phase in youtube ppl would leave in moments of them messing up to make themselves seem relatable then do a HARD cut to the intro… it was a staple of the youtube renaissance
@@drewmonson2 yeah exactly then they’d like gather themself clap their hands to “check sound” but in reality it was just them trying to simulate what it would be like take slate on a movie set… the good ol’ days i suppose
I listen to u when I eat because I have trouble eating and it like distracts me . Thankfully I haven’t seen all of ur videos so I have something to keep me going lol
I was feeling so sad and bored just now but then I saw that you posted and even though I’m alone I verbally laughed aloud to myself and fist pumped in celebration so thank you for being here love u bye
Drew it’s funny because the way you talked about wanting to be someone/ being jealous of them without wanting to do anything that they do to get there is exactly how I feel about you
Feel you so deeply on the boundaries talk. Wow. Tell me why I never realized it’s boundaries that I struggle with and wishing people would reciprocate the same energy to me but yup I am a people pleaser and some part of me wants that in return for once? But it’s not appropriate and my fault I set that weird standard
No cause I grew up with my gma who’s a big part of my life telling me “none of ur friends r real they’ll come and go” and now everytime I hang out with a friend there’s always a thought in my head being like “they’re gonna talk shit about me, they’re gonna ghost me” especially when they’re popular in school I’m so insecure I don’t attach myself to anyone anymore cause I feel our friendship will end, I feel like it’s me against the world like u said and idk how to not feel like it
You are SPOT ON with the boundaries. I’m 40 now and I literally have the best boundaries ever. I had to learn to say no and not feel bad about it. If I don’t want to go to someone’s kids Birthday party, I just say no thanks lol And they GET IT 🤣
omgggg Drewwww 20:40 the envy v admiration was something i learned a couple years ago now that whenever i for whatever reason would impulsively think 'I don't like that' it was because i DID like something about it, but it's my own internalization of what that would mean about myself if i were to connect with it easily. When you started on describing the feelings of not having something that might be taught in childhood hit me so hard i had to pause and yell "DREW NO, YOU'RE SAYING EVERYTHING" - this is def tmi but ive learned only recently (in the past 2 years) i was emotionally abandoned by my caregiver so there's many aspects to how I live as an adult i wonder if it's ADHD, or is a result from not being parented enough when it would've helped me grasp self-care, grasp how to prioritise even the things I cannot stand to remember to consider and do.
This is the most relatable video I've ever seen from you genuinely especially the part about being a people pleaser when you said that you get that wave of feeling like you can live your life again....... Wow lol I'm speechless
Sometimes I feel very bizarre when you talk about your inner thoughts/behaviors as well as your past and it is so similar to the way I think/behave. The more I relate the more I feel like I have some weird parasocial relationship, completely overthinking an entirely one-sided interaction. Anyway thanks as always for sharing these things because hearing that other people deal with them helps me better understand myself. I'm less afraid of confronting things within myself after hearing that I'm not some awful broken person who everyone would hate if they knew "the truth."
Being a passive/empathetic person is hard. Like we put others and their boundaries first before anything for ourselves. I feel everything you’re saying 🥲
drew i have never once seen anyone else who feels like i do about people going to bed before me i have never related so much to a video in my life omg i feel for u
So my depression is getting worse i cry constantly and my anxiety is through the roof. But drews videos make me feel better so ty for that. I'm manifesting it out into the world for drew to reply to this comment it would mean the world to me. You've made me laugh on days where i just wanted to give up and today is one of those days. Been a fan since the beginning I'm so proud of how far you've come.
Today was really rough for me. I have bpd and today I was so depressed and I cried on and off from 8:30-5:30 when I clocked out at work . I work with kids at a daycare and deal with parents a lot and I had to just hide the fact I was crying but not in control of it like just tears streaming all day and I really needed this laugh. Thanks drew for being you and being honest and hilarious
dude. finally. someone understands the whole ‘i’m always anxious to the point where relaxation feels suspicious’. i’ve never met someone who feels that way too. we’re the same person and that’s comforting
Omg it sounds like ur therapy is really opening doors for u drew I’m so happy for u!! I totally feel this when u have realization that make things make sense.
I really relate to getting upset over things not going a certain way. Especially birthdays and not having a “college experience” that I had pictured in my head for years it literally ruins so many moments
Drew you are so insightful! I resonate with a lot of what you bring up. Also, I like the longer videos. If I have to hear "whatever happened to 90 minute movies?!" one more time I am going to melon-ball my brain out in chunks.
Drew. I took two benadryl and im eating cookies and recovering from full moon so im kind of emotional. But i want u to know i love you and you comng back to youtube has lighted up my life
20:30 oh my god drew same. i really don't feel like a person idk how to explain it lol but wow i've never heard anyone else saying things like that before, idk i just don't quite feel like an adult or a real person and idk how to navigate things idk idk idk 24:54 me. too. i feel so hated and rejected when someone doesn't respond and then when they do i feel an unhealthy level of relief. i've been dealing with this so so so much in the last few days drew it feels so good to know i'm not the only one 31:31 once again, strong relate. if i feel genuinely relaxed or happy, i get quite scared because i guess i'm not used to it?? and i worry because i know that i will inevitably just stop feeling that way soon
being neglected and/or abused leaves us running on empty, im realizing my self hate/anger turned inwards is always a cover for feeling so abandoned/used in the past, it's the grieving process of realizing that the unacceptable has happened, u were a helpless child, left alone and there's nothing that is going to change that fact. realizing this is incredibly painful, incredibly difficult to process, has to happen several times for your brain to register then after this true raw core pain (that u might have had for your whole life) maybe i think is liberation to feel new again like it's a new day not your life repeating
the turning my hate and anger inwards thing is so real. i deny all my ambitions and wallow in my misery while comparing myself to everyone else. idk how to stop it. my dad told me my goals were stupid and at the time, I rebelled against him but now that I'm older, I feel so incapable, I think back to what he said and feel like that's true. i just sit here and cry about it instead of doing something.
I returned to work from Maternity leave three day's ago, your videos help me through being away from my kids. I got this video 4 minutes into uploading and I've still got that weird thing where that makes me feel better than everyone else who comes after me. Therefore I'm manifesting a response from Drew on this comment, it would literally make my life 10X better than it is right now, no pressure.
as someone who went through a lot of trauma and unhappiness in my life, and am still stuck in the process of healing and having worse days and better days but never truly feeling happy, ive struggled with jealousy A LOT and i dont think ive ever been able to admit that to myself fully until watching this video. it's hard to see good things happen to the people i love because in my head im always thinking "that's nice i guess but when will it be my turn to be happy, this isn't fair" and it's really screwed me up a lot in a way i think you would understand. it makes me feel guilty but also i feel so sure of myself in feeling jealous you know? it just sucks. thank you for making me feel less alone and more human. love you drew
Hi Drew! I love you! I've been a fan since I was 16 so around 11 years! Your channel has a specialness to me. I laugh and feel such a connection to you.
i do not like how spot on you described me. i feel so intimidated by people who are real people because i’m so far from it & i didn’t realize it until you verbalized it but that’s definitely why i isolate myself so much. i love my family & friends but at the end of the day i only have me. is it not supposed to be like that? i dont know. nice to hear someone feels similar because i feel so alone in this experience.
so much that you said in this video were like my EXACT thoughts- thoughts that i didn’t even realize i was having. from the stuff like setting boundaries with yourself to just like, getting mad at someone in the grocery store because they were walking too slow, and feeling like at the end of the day you are completely alone in the world despite having friends and family that you know love you. you’re so articulate in the things you want to say and you say things and it just IMMEDIATELY makes sense to me and just resonates so strongly -and i consider myself to be very articulate and in touch with my emotions so it’s wild and jarring (in a good way i guess) to hear someone else voice their experiences and have it match so closely to mine and that those thoughts have never crossed my mind before. ive had so many personal realizations watching your videos and a lot of the things you say it feels like i think and feel so similarly. i feel less alone in things i didn’t know i felt alone in in the first place, and i have words for things i didn’t know i felt or needed words for. anyway for anyone reading he gets into it about half an hour in
Drew today I just got my cameo you made for my friend Sarah and it made both of us SO freakin happy. I've been watching you since I was in highschool (I'm 24 now) and it was surreal hearing you say my name and cheer my best friend up. This channel specifically has helped her and I ALOT these last few months, I really appreciate how authentic and raw you are. Not to sound like a therapist or anything but the self awareness you have is impressive, it's taken me over 7 years of therapy to get even close to be the level of self aware you are so you should be super proud of yourself (I know cheesy, oops) Anyways if anyone is considering getting a cameo from this king, DO IT!! Best money I've ever spent, he's super personable, creative, lovely and funny (of course) I've never seen anyone do cameos that well!!! Feeling double blessed today with a cameo and video from my favourite, thanks again Drew ❤❤
drew at around the 20 minute mark where you talked about being maluble and feeling rejected when others arent it opened my eyes so wide to why i have always felt so alone and rejected in all of my relationships. im 19 and autistic and i have always spent my life obsessing with other people. doing anything for them socially to make sure they enjoy themselves. i dont enjoy most of the conversations i have because i never think about my own feelings. you saying that thats just not how people should be, and everything else you said descibed what i have struggled with so deeply. THANK YOU drew.
I feel like you read my mind when you post. Today I was just thinking of why everyone is ahead of me, like it's me versus the world and I feel jealous of literally everyone. Which is why I deleted my Instagram because I couldn't stop feeling jealous of all of my friends because I felt like they were better than me, prettier than me, living more than me, having more fun than me, and just being a head of me. Thank you for making me feel less alone in life.
The “you’ve got this” was actually helpful 😂 I have a crazy long day at work and I’m low key dreading it. But not I’m just gonna think “you’ve got this”
everything you said about people pleasing and not feeling like a person until u get validation from someone… oh god. i recognize myself and i always thought i was NOT like this and despised people who acted and thought that way, BUT IT’S LITERALLY ME. thank u.
I feel like we have the exact same anxiety levels and thought processes. I find it so hard to be in public cuz I’m either going to have panic attacks or I’m fighting the urge to start a fight with a stranger because they get in my way. Not healthy but idk how to control that
when drew think the video sucks, it’s the video that a relate most. they’re always the ones feel the most emotion towards. he makes me feel okay for being who i am. drew takes my thoughts i feel bad for thinking, and makes them into words i couldn’t come up with. i truly hope one day he knows how good he is.
drew i am jealous of you to this day you have so many hobbies and interests. also your music career? like you make music that is so amazing and you can play piano which is something i wish i could do. i feel like i have nothing to offer but you’ve given us so much. your feelings are completely warranted but just know we heart you hehe
god i related to this whole video so hard. just waiting for people's permission to live my life or be proud of myself or think that i'm doing something good. augh
okay hi I feel like this video picks up the most half way through? but I always say that. and I know its a little blurry? I really am going to try to get better at using my camera I swear I will ask someone who knows how to do it.
anyway I talked on patreon longer patreon.com/drewmonson im nervous
yay i love u i’m so excited for these videos i love ur patreon
Are you manipulating me into watching longer
@@elijah1437 and it never not work! Always end up finishing the whole video
Love u mommyyy
w4ssup drew
“you want that life but you don’t want to do anything to get it” drew just annihilated me
I actually do want to do the work but i don’t know how or where
yeah 😓
@@meltaylor2339 google
@@Emile.gorgonZola what do i type into gOoGle
while CRAFTING? oh drew you’ve simply outdone yourself
It’s okay, everyone secretly wishes they were Drew Gooden. Monson is still my favorite UA-camr Drew though.
awww 😌
Exactly how I think a lot of us feel ❤
DAMN the part about boundaries hit me really hard. I always feel rejected when somebody else holds a boundary (like the hanging up the phone example), and most of that stems from the fact that I avoid putting up my own. And I think the reason why is because I don’t know when I need to choose myself over others, or what you said about “not knowing where somebody else ends and you begin.” Painful stuff to realize and deal with, but it’s really so important
I totally agree! And I’m glad that resonated because it is something I’m always working on. It comes from somewhere, it just has to be dealt with somehow and those beliefs
sameeee this part hit so hard!!! i feel so seen
hard same. like I’d always rather stay up with someone or go out even if I’m tired cuz I don’t wanna be a ditcher. and when people bail on stuff cuz they need to sleep I’m like dude just stay up >< but, you know.. those people are actually taking care of themselves. 🙃
@@minnie7453 same! I always feel slightly hurt/rejected when someone I’m talking with needs to sleep, get work done, or live their lives. It’s because I know that I’d easily ditch my own life and plans to talk to them. I’d stay up late, put off work I need to do, and sacrifice self-care to talk to them. In the past I’d even hold off on eating when I was starving, drinking water, and peeing to the point I got a uti/pain, just to talk to someone and not end the conversation. Which is not normal at all. It’s people pleasing out of a selfish fear of rejection, and i just end up resenting myself and the person I abandoned my boundaries for, for it.
.
It’s amazing how well u can translate ur thoughts out loud. I feel like so many people have a constant stream of thoughts but never know how to articulate but u do it so well and u do it in front of a camera!
so true
ikr! i was i had his power and humour 😭😭 i’m jelly
his genius!!!❤️❤️❤️
I wonder if he feels he is accurately portraying his thoughts?
i know, he's like a very good talker!
I honestly think of you as on the same tier as Danny Gonzalez and Drew Gooden. You're just as funny as either of them and frankly keep me very entertained with very little. I'm not sure if I would want to just watch Danny or Drew ramble on for several hours, but I'll be damned if I won't watch you talk for days about how relatable it is to think the entire supermarket is mad at you.
Don't sell yourself short, boy. You're one of my all time favourite content creators
I’m in a deep depression and I listen to you every night and morning as a coping mechanism. I’ve been playing the same videos over and over so I’m so thankful you posted 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
same!!
these vids are my nightly routine too 💕
🥺🥺🥺
♥️❤️
You guys made my day😭❤️
What you said about being upset when people wouldn’t stay up all night for you even though you would do it for them hit really hard. I do the same thing. I feel like no one ever gives me the same energy but then I realize that I’m probably giving more energy than is needed. It’s a hard thing to learn boundaries, especially for yourself. So it was validating hearing say you experience a similar thing.
I do the exact same, And then I feel hurt and like that friend doesn’t care about me because they set boundaries, so I distance myself from them, usually delete our messages out of spite, reply slower and colder than normal, or sometimes even ghost them. It’s bad.
But then again I don’t know where the normal level of response/perceived care from a friend should be…because sometimes there are people who actually don’t care about me and it hurts my self esteem talking with people like that
@@Ari-ih5un I definitely relate. Finding that balance is difficult.
ooof the bit on boundaries is everything i'm feeling rn. "Just because i'm a people pleaser doesn't make me empathetic because it's fear based" BOOM! words of wisdom x
i actually started tearing up watching this, the part about being malleable and not having boundaries with yourself and expecting people around you to act similarly is something i've had such a hard time grasping and your way of putting it into words was so eye opening. thank you
These are like literal therapy sessions to me. I don’t really have friends cos I isolate too, but your videos feel like hanging with a friend who gets it. Fkn love you drew, I’ll marry you so we can go for dinner
a year later and this is real for me too fr
"i hate myself but i’m also the only one who knows how to do anything" is so real. that’s how you know when things are getting bad: you hate yourself but also become bitter at every little thing around you and you feel better than anyone. 21:28
Honestly, I feel like you say the things a lot of people feel but won’t admit to because they’re afraid of how people might internally judge them. You’re honest in a way a many UA-camrs aren’t and I hope you know that there’s value in that.
It makes me feel less judgment towards him than people who would hide it because one I relate and two I honor is honesty in a way. He seems to know and share how he feels I would trust him because I know he is only human and flawed and genuinely wants to be a good person and he is aware of his toxicity and doesn’t allow it to define him.
Tell me why Drew is the most real person on UA-cam. Like he's one of the only people who has genuinely shown his audience how much he struggles with his mental health. It makes us feel less alone, I have bipolar disorder and I relate to Drew so much.
🙈🐧
Same ❤️
Right?! Can we all be friends? Lol I think we need a drew monson group meeting
Seriously his videos are so comforting ♡
me too💗
It was so comforting to me to hear you talk about feeling jealous of your friends but happy at the same time when something good happens to a friend... I so often feel like that and I always get in a rut of thinking that I'm the only one feeling like that and I'm a bad person. So thank u for vocalizing that.
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4:51 that's why i find this channel so unique and refreshing. you're captivating in your own right, barely any editing necessary, and that's so interesting to see
you are my favourite youtuber drew there's no one doing it like you you're so real and just overall a great wholesome amazing human being if I was your mum I'd be so proud love you so much babes xxx
Thank you so much!! I’ll tell my mom that actually. Idk why but I will
It's incredible to me how casually introspection comes to you, I know is not the same as doing something abt it but self awareness is the first step and I really appreciate you sharing because I then too, can recognize things in myself through you. so thank you. I love these vids.
That’s an interesting point that a “bedtime” is like a personal boundary. Currently I’m wide awake refusing to try and sleep because my thoughts get scary when I do so this will probably be another all nighter. I guess I need to create some personal boundaries
I miss u bro. We appreciate u
There’s a book called Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin so no, the therapist wasn’t being original lol but it’s a pretty good self-help book
This video reminds me of one my favorite poems it’s called “what you missed the day you were absent in 4th grade” by Brad Aaron . it’s all about the things we are forced to learn on our own and in our own time. Things of life that school never could teach us it’s really beautiful I think you would like it
just looked up this poem, it’s wonderful. and uncomfortably relatable
@@inbluwoods4022 I’m glad you enjoyed it I bawled like a child the first time I read it
this was my favorite patreon names song. the melody was sooooo lovely
hello nisa!! :D 💫
@@c1nnamodoll hiiiiiiii
watching this two years later and you talking about not having the boundaries for sleep reasonates so hard.
at 11:10 something you touched on there, I felt that very personally especially right now. I feel so jealous of my friends, and in turn I'm like does that make me a bad friend? I don't pray on their downfall nor do I want them to not succeed, but I also wish it were me - but at the same time I don't make any steps towards it. One of my friends lost a lot of weight after weight loss surgery and she looked so great, but I know it's hard work. My other friends are settling down in serious relationships, getting engaged, married, announcing pregnancies while I still live at my parent's house. I don't have any social media anymore, and I think I know why. It's all so bittersweet to me. I like the disconnect, but every once in a while when I check my FB or my IG, or I look up someone for whatever reason I find out stuff about them. Like so and so is in healthcare and they're a pharmacist, or a doctor or they're in physician assistant school. All of these things I was interested in myself career wise. It is definitely an insecurity issue for me. I recently found out one of my childhood best friends was now a popular content creator. It's like in the back of my mind, I've always wanted to do something like that but I never felt comfortable putting myself and my image out there like that for thousands to critique. And then I thought about it and my other childhood best friend is working on her residency to be a neurosurgeon and it's like my god, I'm happy for their success, I truly am. They deserve it, they're good people. But I'm hoping I get motivated to do something too.
"You should see the inside of my brain when something good happens to someone else." Please sir, stop using my diary for your vlogs.
i love this therapy session type videos you’ve been doing because i just sit and nod along the whole time. you make me feel so seen and heard, i wish there was some way you could hear me relating to feelings/situations that you don’t think people will relate to.
21:33
I used to be like this too at the grocery store! So I started practicing patience and working on it. Bad news! Now I am fully aware of why I was so angry (sensory issues and social anxiety and extreme overwhelm in stores)… and now it’s no one else’s problem but my own! 😀
(I still prefer it this way lol but be warned!)
Now all I want is for Danny and drew to see this and they can all three be besties what a good ending to this story (if this was a story and not real life but either way great video I felt this HARD)
For one week I did a social media 'diet' and tried to not at all go on social media or UA-cam. I ended up going for like 15 minutes a day. Felt much better with mental health and noticed I'm reaching out more to friends and family as the social media gives me a false feeling of connection with the world. Trying to keep it going and figure out how to keep it way down still
Social Media has caused us all to compare ourselves to everyone every day. It's so toxic. Please people, remember you are amazing as you are and you are right where you need to be. 🤗
every video of yours is sacred to me but there is something about this one
Drew I hope you’re okay today. “Just take the next breath”
Okay the part about being a people pleaser and not setting boundaries, and running yourself ragged for other people and feeling rejected when they don’t do the same hit a little too hard. The statement “being a people pleaser isn’t the same at being empathetic”terrified me to my core 😅 I really resonated with that whole part and never really heard it spoken out in words before.
The way I can rely on people so hard for the way my day will go is honestly so scary.
i literally sat here recording clips of this video just to have on my phone. i have been looking for these words for so long and i genuinely can never be able to thank you enough for getting them out. i think what you do is art. thank you drew. i feel like ur untangling my mind.
Literally had this conversation with my therapist!!! I just got out of a long term relationship where I was in constant fear of him breaking up with me and so I would do anything to mold myself to be what I thought he wanted just to be close to him. But he felt my fear so me molding myself to feel close to him had the opposite effect... he felt disillusioned from me because I was no longer being myself. Thanks for sharing Drew. Made me feel less alone.
the last 3 weeks have been the lowest point of my life and its been really really hard, and on top of that i found out i failed an exam yesterday. its just a really really sucky time. but your video feels like a gift and your videos always bring me comfort in the worst moments, i love you drew!
Good news catri I’m ur new teacher and you fuckigw passed
@@drewmonson2 Thanks Mr Monson!
I know this vid’s a year old but the bit about someone not replying for a while and talking yourself up into a spiral where you’re imagining what they’re thinking/what you did wrong then only being able to not feel that dread when they finally reply is painfully relatable and also something I’m working on
What you said about others setting boundaries and feeling rejected just blew my mind because I never realised thats similar to how I feel and now it feels like I’ve just unlocked something and I’m thinking about all the times it’s happened
Omg around 16:30ish YES THE INTERNET CHANGED and people try and be clever but hurt you deeply. Before it was trolling more. Definitely lots of tension and choosing sides it’s exhausting
Drew as a 17 yr old girl who struggles a lot w boundaries you just being able to articulate how you feel in words helps sooo much it also helps knowing I’m not the only one who does those things and thinks that way
29:00 this part happens to me too. I think it just comes out of being a perfectionist. I've come to know myself better and that I can be quite a critical person, with others yes, but way worse with myself that I would get frustrated and even end up crying when things don't pan out right too. And it would be for the SILLIEST things. I'm trying to better myself with this
Omg the part about feeling threatened by people who have their shit together...that hit hard. I have the same problem. Like darn you shower EVERY DAY? you clean your space before bed EVERY NIGHT? you remember to pay thing WHEN THEY ARE DUE? and for some become personally offended by their existence for no other reason than they make me feel bad about myself lol
Oh my God Drew I swear your thought process regarding the whole feeling threatened when you see someone else who seems to have their life together thing... Wow that's literally how my brain works. I wish I learned certain things growing up to be more structured but I didn't. It's hard to move past that. Also the part where you talked about having boundaries with yourself really resonated with me. I never really thought about the importance of it like that, but once you mentioned the whole "staying up all night until 6am on the phone with someone if they want to" but when someone sets a boundary of "okay well I have to hangup because I have work in the morning" and "well I would stay on the phone for them all night... why wouldn't they do the same for me?" that really made me think. Again, I share that EXACT thought process and I find myself doing the whole neglecting my own needs thing (going back to your example of a doctor's appointment the next day but you're at an arcade late). I have a therapy appointment soon and I definitely will be bringing up these topics and what you said with her. It really really resonated with me and made me self reflect a bit more. Thank you for teaching me something and for making me feel less alone.
the permission to do things after finding out someone isn’t mad at you after literally any conversation where they don’t respond i completely relate to
You are literally the realest person on the internet. I could listen to you talk for hours because it's so relatable. You talk about the things that most people are scared to say. It feels like i'm listening to a friend that truly understands me. I appreciate your content more than you would ever know.
something that touched me is what you said in your quitting smoking video. you mentioned feeling discomfort while quitting but because there was a higher goal it made it easier and rewarding. I see jealousy that way. Putting myself in situations that I would normally be very jealous and realizing nothing has happened and I am okay! and celebrating that.
I have never related to someone so much in my life, you bring such a relief to me. Anytime I have really bad anxiety or panic attacks where I start to think I have about every mental illness to exist and that I’m a terrible human being bc of my thoughts or my feelings that I never share with anyone, I come to your videos and hearing you have the same thoughts I do just make me feel at ease. You are not alone, I am not alone, and anyone else who can relate to your videos and your inner thoughts you share with us is not alone! Thank you, for your videos, for your openness to share how you feel and the things you experience. You are helping so many people feel like normal human beings.
Drew you're telling me exactly what I need to hear rn
wait on the topic of people leaving stuff in that you’re like, “oh… why?” i just remembered that phase in youtube ppl would leave in moments of them messing up to make themselves seem relatable then do a HARD cut to the intro… it was a staple of the youtube renaissance
Yes with the tongue bleghghggu sound
@@drewmonson2 yeah exactly then they’d like gather themself clap their hands to “check sound” but in reality it was just them trying to simulate what it would be like take slate on a movie set… the good ol’ days i suppose
I listen to u when I eat because I have trouble eating and it like distracts me . Thankfully I haven’t seen all of ur videos so I have something to keep me going lol
I was feeling so sad and bored just now but then I saw that you posted and even though I’m alone I verbally laughed aloud to myself and fist pumped in celebration so thank you for being here love u bye
Omg lol getting a laugh before it even started!!
Drew it’s funny because the way you talked about wanting to be someone/ being jealous of them without wanting to do anything that they do to get there is exactly how I feel about you
Feel you so deeply on the boundaries talk. Wow. Tell me why I never realized it’s boundaries that I struggle with and wishing people would reciprocate the same energy to me but yup I am a people pleaser and some part of me wants that in return for once? But it’s not appropriate and my fault I set that weird standard
Maybe it's not entirely your fault (we learn it from somewhere/someone), but it is your responsibility to set straight. I deal w the same problem
Ive been crocheting and rewatching your videos for hours and we’re finally crafting TOGETHER
It is insane how much I relate to what you were saying in this video Drew. I’m always impressed with how you express these complex feelings!
No cause I grew up with my gma who’s a big part of my life telling me “none of ur friends r real they’ll come and go” and now everytime I hang out with a friend there’s always a thought in my head being like “they’re gonna talk shit about me, they’re gonna ghost me” especially when they’re popular in school I’m so insecure I don’t attach myself to anyone anymore cause I feel our friendship will end, I feel like it’s me against the world like u said and idk how to not feel like it
You are SPOT ON with the boundaries. I’m 40 now and I literally have the best boundaries ever. I had to learn to say no and not feel bad about it.
If I don’t want to go to someone’s kids Birthday party, I just say no thanks lol And they GET IT 🤣
omgggg Drewwww 20:40 the envy v admiration was something i learned a couple years ago now that whenever i for whatever reason would impulsively think 'I don't like that' it was because i DID like something about it, but it's my own internalization of what that would mean about myself if i were to connect with it easily.
When you started on describing the feelings of not having something that might be taught in childhood hit me so hard i had to pause and yell "DREW NO, YOU'RE SAYING EVERYTHING" - this is def tmi but ive learned only recently (in the past 2 years) i was emotionally abandoned by my caregiver so there's many aspects to how I live as an adult i wonder if it's ADHD, or is a result from not being parented enough when it would've helped me grasp self-care, grasp how to prioritise even the things I cannot stand to remember to consider and do.
The people pleasing part 🥺😭😭fr that's me. I definitely confused the being nice with people please and this was really good for me. Thank you
This is the most relatable video I've ever seen from you genuinely especially the part about being a people pleaser when you said that you get that wave of feeling like you can live your life again....... Wow lol I'm speechless
Sometimes I feel very bizarre when you talk about your inner thoughts/behaviors as well as your past and it is so similar to the way I think/behave. The more I relate the more I feel like I have some weird parasocial relationship, completely overthinking an entirely one-sided interaction.
Anyway thanks as always for sharing these things because hearing that other people deal with them helps me better understand myself. I'm less afraid of confronting things within myself after hearing that I'm not some awful broken person who everyone would hate if they knew "the truth."
Being a passive/empathetic person is hard. Like we put others and their boundaries first before anything for ourselves. I feel everything you’re saying 🥲
drew i have never once seen anyone else who feels like i do about people going to bed before me i have never related so much to a video in my life omg i feel for u
So my depression is getting worse i cry constantly and my anxiety is through the roof. But drews videos make me feel better so ty for that. I'm manifesting it out into the world for drew to reply to this comment it would mean the world to me. You've made me laugh on days where i just wanted to give up and today is one of those days. Been a fan since the beginning I'm so proud of how far you've come.
You’re literally the most honest person on this app and you’re funny without having to criticize other people , that’s why so many people love you !!
Today was really rough for me. I have bpd and today I was so depressed and I cried on and off from 8:30-5:30 when I clocked out at work . I work with kids at a daycare and deal with parents a lot and I had to just hide the fact I was crying but not in control of it like just tears streaming all day and I really needed this laugh. Thanks drew for being you and being honest and hilarious
dude. finally. someone understands the whole ‘i’m always anxious to the point where relaxation feels suspicious’. i’ve never met someone who feels that way too. we’re the same person and that’s comforting
Omg it sounds like ur therapy is really opening doors for u drew I’m so happy for u!! I totally feel this when u have realization that make things make sense.
I really relate to getting upset over things not going a certain way. Especially birthdays and not having a “college experience” that I had pictured in my head for years it literally ruins so many moments
Drew you are so insightful! I resonate with a lot of what you bring up. Also, I like the longer videos. If I have to hear "whatever happened to 90 minute movies?!" one more time I am going to melon-ball my brain out in chunks.
I wish I had the ability to be this introspective and thoughtful, amazing video
I feel like Drew’s videos are my own personal forms of therapy. That part about boundaries was really eye opening to me lmao
Drew. I took two benadryl and im eating cookies and recovering from full moon so im kind of emotional. But i want u to know i love you and you comng back to youtube has lighted up my life
I haven't heard anyone talk about person boundaries this way and I relate to everything, it's like you experienced my life somehow. Thank you
20:30 oh my god drew same. i really don't feel like a person idk how to explain it lol but wow i've never heard anyone else saying things like that before, idk i just don't quite feel like an adult or a real person and idk how to navigate things idk idk idk
24:54 me. too. i feel so hated and rejected when someone doesn't respond and then when they do i feel an unhealthy level of relief. i've been dealing with this so so so much in the last few days drew it feels so good to know i'm not the only one
31:31 once again, strong relate. if i feel genuinely relaxed or happy, i get quite scared because i guess i'm not used to it?? and i worry because i know that i will inevitably just stop feeling that way soon
Watching this again because it’s just so good.
You’re so fucking funny and real, holy crap.
Every time I see you I am reminded of a teacup dog making a scarf. Love it
being neglected and/or abused leaves us running on empty, im realizing my self hate/anger turned inwards is always a cover for feeling so abandoned/used in the past, it's the grieving process of realizing that the unacceptable has happened, u were a helpless child, left alone and there's nothing that is going to change that fact. realizing this is incredibly painful, incredibly difficult to process, has to happen several times for your brain to register then after this true raw core pain (that u might have had for your whole life) maybe i think is liberation to feel new again like it's a new day not your life repeating
the turning my hate and anger inwards thing is so real. i deny all my ambitions and wallow in my misery while comparing myself to everyone else. idk how to stop it. my dad told me my goals were stupid and at the time, I rebelled against him but now that I'm older, I feel so incapable, I think back to what he said and feel like that's true. i just sit here and cry about it instead of doing something.
I returned to work from Maternity leave three day's ago, your videos help me through being away from my kids. I got this video 4 minutes into uploading and I've still got that weird thing where that makes me feel better than everyone else who comes after me. Therefore I'm manifesting a response from Drew on this comment, it would literally make my life 10X better than it is right now, no pressure.
Congratulations on your kids!!!
@@drewmonson2 Thank you! 😊
as someone who went through a lot of trauma and unhappiness in my life, and am still stuck in the process of healing and having worse days and better days but never truly feeling happy, ive struggled with jealousy A LOT and i dont think ive ever been able to admit that to myself fully until watching this video. it's hard to see good things happen to the people i love because in my head im always thinking "that's nice i guess but when will it be my turn to be happy, this isn't fair" and it's really screwed me up a lot in a way i think you would understand. it makes me feel guilty but also i feel so sure of myself in feeling jealous you know? it just sucks. thank you for making me feel less alone and more human. love you drew
Hi Drew! I love you! I've been a fan since I was 16 so around 11 years! Your channel has a specialness to me. I laugh and feel such a connection to you.
i do not like how spot on you described me. i feel so intimidated by people who are real people because i’m so far from it & i didn’t realize it until you verbalized it but that’s definitely why i isolate myself so much. i love my family & friends but at the end of the day i only have me. is it not supposed to be like that? i dont know. nice to hear someone feels similar because i feel so alone in this experience.
💙
so much that you said in this video were like my EXACT thoughts- thoughts that i didn’t even realize i was having. from the stuff like setting boundaries with yourself to just like, getting mad at someone in the grocery store because they were walking too slow, and feeling like at the end of the day you are completely alone in the world despite having friends and family that you know love you.
you’re so articulate in the things you want to say and you say things and it just IMMEDIATELY makes sense to me and just resonates so strongly -and i consider myself to be very articulate and in touch with my emotions so it’s wild and jarring (in a good way i guess) to hear someone else voice their experiences and have it match so closely to mine and that those thoughts have never crossed my mind before.
ive had so many personal realizations watching your videos and a lot of the things you say it feels like i think and feel so similarly. i feel less alone in things i didn’t know i felt alone in in the first place, and i have words for things i didn’t know i felt or needed words for.
anyway for anyone reading he gets into it about half an hour in
Wow the talk about boundaries was so useful and eye opening thankyou drew
Drew today I just got my cameo you made for my friend Sarah and it made both of us SO freakin happy. I've been watching you since I was in highschool (I'm 24 now) and it was surreal hearing you say my name and cheer my best friend up. This channel specifically has helped her and I ALOT these last few months, I really appreciate how authentic and raw you are. Not to sound like a therapist or anything but the self awareness you have is impressive, it's taken me over 7 years of therapy to get even close to be the level of self aware you are so you should be super proud of yourself (I know cheesy, oops)
Anyways if anyone is considering getting a cameo from this king, DO IT!! Best money I've ever spent, he's super personable, creative, lovely and funny (of course) I've never seen anyone do cameos that well!!! Feeling double blessed today with a cameo and video from my favourite, thanks again Drew ❤❤
you are the only youtuber i dont get annoyed watching
drew at around the 20 minute mark where you talked about being maluble and feeling rejected when others arent it opened my eyes so wide to why i have always felt so alone and rejected in all of my relationships. im 19 and autistic and i have always spent my life obsessing with other people. doing anything for them socially to make sure they enjoy themselves. i dont enjoy most of the conversations i have because i never think about my own feelings. you saying that thats just not how people should be, and everything else you said descibed what i have struggled with so deeply. THANK YOU drew.
24:52 I audibly said "YESS" out loud. you put my thoughts into words so well here. I'm slowly getting over this feeling though
I feel like you read my mind when you post. Today I was just thinking of why everyone is ahead of me, like it's me versus the world and I feel jealous of literally everyone. Which is why I deleted my Instagram because I couldn't stop feeling jealous of all of my friends because I felt like they were better than me, prettier than me, living more than me, having more fun than me, and just being a head of me. Thank you for making me feel less alone in life.
The “you’ve got this” was actually helpful 😂 I have a crazy long day at work and I’m low key dreading it. But not I’m just gonna think “you’ve got this”
I could listen to you sing about anything, your voice is so sweet and your melodies are comforting
Thanks for triggering my happiness it’s always floating around my head but I feel like you bring it front and centre.
watching these videos is like therapy for me love it I feel less alone
everything you said about people pleasing and not feeling like a person until u get validation from someone… oh god. i recognize myself and i always thought i was NOT like this and despised people who acted and thought that way, BUT IT’S LITERALLY ME. thank u.
I feel like we have the exact same anxiety levels and thought processes. I find it so hard to be in public cuz I’m either going to have panic attacks or I’m fighting the urge to start a fight with a stranger because they get in my way. Not healthy but idk how to control that
when drew think the video sucks, it’s the video that a relate most. they’re always the ones feel the most emotion towards. he makes me feel okay for being who i am. drew takes my thoughts i feel bad for thinking, and makes them into words i couldn’t come up with. i truly hope one day he knows how good he is.
drew i am jealous of you to this day you have so many hobbies and interests. also your music career? like you make music that is so amazing and you can play piano which is something i wish i could do. i feel like i have nothing to offer but you’ve given us so much. your feelings are completely warranted but just know we heart you hehe
god i related to this whole video so hard. just waiting for people's permission to live my life or be proud of myself or think that i'm doing something good. augh