Well, seems to me this “caregiver” should NOT be allowed to be a “caregiver”. Sadly, there are those in Foster Care for the money and not the kids. You are 100% correct! It’s about the kids; not the adults. What is best for the kids? Then do it.
Oh yes. Lots are in it for the money. Which is clearly not a thing for this family. I wish they could have been foster parents for me for a short bit. My foster family was great, but I had tough teenage years. Could have used a respite with these guys!
That’s so ridiculous! 🤦🏻♀️ The money isn’t even enough to be worth it if that’s your only motive. If you’re meeting the child’s needs as you should be, there’s really not much leftover, so why?
"Whose needs!? Those brats are lucky I took them in. A bowl of cereal, worn down clothes and a garbage bag are enough for them. They're needs? What about me!? I have to be compensated for my troubles!"
Do not offer to pay that caregiver. She does not like you. She can turn that around to hurt you. Think trafficking. Do not offer an exchange of money, so you do not get in trouble.
foster mom also : this will continue to be an issue, in our county hearings are every 3 months & you only get the judges attention for a minute... when I advocate for my foster baby’s best interest (visits with his sisters) I ask his GAL to add it to the court order. For example miss A’s brother gets 2 overnights each month with his sister at your home. Then it’s not respite care & doesn’t effect “her” Per-diem. I don’t apologize for being a mama bear for my foster anymore than I would for my bio’s! I love him like he’s mine & fight for him like he’s mine ...until he’s not.
Just hearing this hurts my heart for Miss A and her brother. As for the other foster parent, I realize that no one likes being called out, but not having a child buckled into a proper, age-appropriate seat belt is beyond outrageous. You did the right thing, and also attempted to do it as circumspectly as possible. Truth is, *you guys* are the ones who have the right to be angry if another parent puts you in the position of even *needing* to report safety risks, abuse, or any other potentially dangerous situation for children in their care! Sorry. I shouldn’t even get started here, so I’ll just end with, “Thank you for being a conscientious advocate for children in general and for Miss B, specifically, as your foster child.”
I agree. Sometimes the other parent will probably just “know,” though, or strongly suspect. Hard to keep the shock off your face when seeing a toddler in a car who’s not buckled into an appropriate 3-point safety seat.
I’m so glad you shared this because that goes to show some people are just in this for the money. That other caregiver should be removed from the program permanently! But there is already a shortage of foster homes that she will stay. It’s why foster care gets the bad rap it does.....I could go on and on.
I wish there were more people like you both in this world. You are most certainly NOT the bad guys....like you said you have to do what is right by the kids ...period. I hope things get better for your situation for Miss A's sake & she is so lucky to have ya'll!
Is there a way to file a complaint against the person playing dumb?? That’s surely not in the best interest of the kids! I think you did the right thing for the right reasons.
When I was a private foster care case worker, I was always the “bad worker” according to our local DHHR because I was more concerned with how the kids felt/wanted than how the county workers felt. I don’t care if a case workers feelings are hurt for a few minutes, I do care if a bad placement causes even more trauma to a child though! (luckily I write policy now !!)
Way to move up and make a difference! My husband used to be a case worker and he ended up changing jobs because he couldn't handle how bad the system was and to him the changes weren't being made.
Whitney & John, continue to advocate! That caregiver needs to soul search and decide if she’s in it for the kids or the money. Like you, I will always advocate for my kiddos, even if I piss off caseworkers. Just a suggestion, if you haven’t already, write an email to all the people who were involved in this. It creates the dreaded paper trail, but forces caseworkers to admit. Also CC their supervisors. I’m at 15 years fostering and once it’s in writing, caseworkers have to do their jobs. Add in what you saw with caregiver. I email all my updates and my worker will usually phone me to talk about it. Foster care is supposed to be about the kids, but sometimes it’s about who is lazy in note taking and who isn’t. I email updates on my kiddos every Monday; it can be a long or short update, but it’s all in writing. Keep up the great work you’re doing. ❤️
Whitney, I was present when my cousin's young son died after a car accident. The picture of him ln the hospital bed, with his sweet little head wrapped up, is emblazoned on my heart. You absolutely did the right thing in reporting the car seat. To anyone reading this that ever has care over a child, please, please, hear my plea and NEVER drive without having the child properly restrained. It's just not worth the risk, for any reason.
After the premiere ended, I had to go back & watch it again. I want to tell you from my own childhood experience, those kids (Miss A) can see your heart, & I guarantee you, she will never, ever forget your love & kindness!! I haven't forgotten someone that came to my rescue, took good care of me & genuinely showed me a love I had never seen before & never experienced again. Those two weeks with those people will forever hold a very special place in my heart & I was only 9 yrs old then & am now 60 & just never will forget their special love!!! I guarantee you, Miss A will never forget yours!!! Thank you SO MUCH for being sunshine on the cloudy days for her!!😘💞
I have a friend whos mother is a foster parent. And this women should NOT be. My friend has even reported her own mother for abuse, neglect, stealing the kids money. She has a drug addict man living in the house, and DCF will not take her fostering rights away. They somehow believe she is a great mother. Anytime kids have brought concerns, they just call them liars. Im so disgusted how the system is. All about money. Theres not many foster parents like you guys. Miss.A. Is so lucky to have you. I know she will be forever 💙 greatful and always remember you when shes an adult. I hope she absorbs all the love and care you and your husband give your family and she grows into a beautiful successful adult. If I ever was in a situation and my kids were removed. YOU guys are the type of parents ID Want my kids with. you guys are saints and people could really learn a lot from you.
It's about where they can find beds at the start of the case. After that, they try not to move the kids unless there's a problem because it's very difficult on the kids to bounce around.
Thora Friganza no, it means the foster families have to work together to get the kids to see each other as much as possible. The foster families have to put the kids first and not themselves or the money (which is a tiny amount in the first place).
Kids need someone to fight for them 💖 so even though it may feel unnecessary or frustrating Mrs. A knows her happiness is worth fighting for and that’ll make an impact on her
As a child I was abused and spent time in a refuge when escaping. You are amazing for fighting for miss a. The child is the most important thing and if they are breaking the rules you have to stop it from happening. Miss A is so lucky to have u.
Bless you.... for thinking the of the CHILDREN and the FAMILY first. So easy, just kids meeting, siblings. If my children were in foster care, I would as a family in crisis ... feel so lucky I have such a caring person caring for my child. Also my brothers, when my parents were divorcing, my brothers and I kept each other feeling like a family. We KNEW we were going to be together as a family no matter what.
The kids should always come first. Always!!! Miss A and her family have been through enough if they aren’t supporting the family they need to be fostering
Ugh, how frustrating!! It’s nice to see your love for Ms A in how you fight for her and are clearly in her corner. Thanks again for sharing and I hope the siblings are able to have some really good together time soon! 💕
I think this caregiver shouldn’t be allowed to do this anymore. She shouldn’t be allowed to foster anymore. If you are going to let your grudge against another foster parent get in the way of the best interest of the child you need to quit. Fostering is all about the best interest of the children not what serves you. Especially since she was in the wrong about the car seat situation. It’s a gross situation.
I love how passionate you are and how determined you are to make sure these kids are getting together. Your family is truly so beautiful and inspiring 🖤
Be The Village if they are cutting corners with not providing a car seat, I wonder what else they do not care about and are being too lax about! Car seats are very serious. Things that make you wonder....
Oh my goodness! This is incredibly frustrating! I got licensed about a month ago (in Columbus) and don't have my first placement yet. (TOTAL noob 😜) The fact that people are not in this for the kids is absolutely heartbreaking. Honestly, as a single mama (with 3 young bio kids) my biggest worry about fostering is dealing with the system and those who don't put the kids first. I wish I could pick your brain and get advice about what you've been through and how you've dealt with it. I'm thankful to at least have these videos, but I have so many more questions! Lol Thank you for sharing this raw moment ❤
That is really sad! That care giver is not doing it for the right reason! And then should not be doing it at all! It is about the kids like you say! That is heart breaking the kids get hurt in the end! So sorry Miss A snd her sibling do not get their over night visit! They were both most likely looking forward to it! Just because of one greedy, hateful caregiver two children are hurt! So glad you fight for them! And also turn in things you should!! The kids come first not that nasty caregiver!!
I work in direct care/ adult foster programs and I must say I have never related MORE to one of your videos! I’m now seeing how similar ( and sometimes beyond frustrating ) both areas of care can be!! I’ve experienced moments of I’m damned if I don’t damned if I do feelings ! Advocating for others is never easy but it’s one of the most important roles caregivers fill BECAUSE we continue to do it even when you want to chuck your phone out the window 🙃 Wishing miss a and her brother a super fun visit in the nearest future possible
That is so sad, I can't imagine being separated from my family and then to have a petty, small person get in the way of seeing them. That's disgusting. The foster agency needs to reassess her position, she obviously isn't in it for the right reason. I'd calculate the amount she's going to be out and get it in dimes from the bank. Keep following your heart, Miss A will benefit just from knowing you fought for her and her family 🧡🧡🧡
I see as y'all being the good guys. My heart breaks for Miss A. I've had 2 neighbor girls live with us at different times due to the parents decision. The first girl was 15 and parents decided she needed to find another place to live because they were having problems. Who does that ?! She graduated and is now a manager of a pharmacy. The 2nd girl is living with us now. Her mom and srep dad decided to move to Colorado where you cad get high legally. Wow ! I just can't wrap my head around that. She graduated eary and is working
Do they even attempt to keep siblings together? Until that possibility exhausted should they split siblings. Removed from home and parents then split from siblings.. that is a true trauma. A kid mind could handle removal from danger but separation from siblings would truly cause dissonance and trauma. You guys are amazing and are creating change I can feel it.. your influence is getting into areas and places that will never fully be realized but I feel it happening.. “you have to do right cause right is right” 👍🏿🤝🙏
It’s hard getting foster parents for one kid much less siblings.lack of resources. It would be easier for a pair of siblings but usually the more siblings the harder it is to keep them together.(this is all from what I’ve heard from people in foster care/are foster parents)
i can tell you i have to go through the foster system in florida in 2018 for a year and they didnt try at all to keep my children together , on the contray i wanted to scream and cry so hard because of it ... they took my oldest and shipped him and his brother off to miami while my youngest stayed here , they took my middle child and brought him to punta gorda leaving my oldest in miami and pissing off the lawyers . then finally they took and allowed my oldest to be moved across the state from us in orlando , so in order to get our children together for visits i had to drive 5 hours one way picking them up and 5 hours another way to drop them off but it was the only time my children could see each other and we decided to take that time as a family ( we had a choice do the once a week for all 3 or seprate for all 3 and they wouldnt see each other until they got moved closer to us ) all of this just broke my heart and i know it broke my kids hearts but we made it through ..... my oldest current has ptsd as well as my middle but his is non verbal and autustic .
I like you, if that means anything. lol. The fact that people actually foster FOR THE MONEY blows my mind. It is such a worrisome issue because it is totally obvious that those families are NOT fostering for the right reasons and the kiddos are probably not being treated as well as they should she. It makes me sometimes wonder if foster parents should be reimbursed for caring for these kids. Families like yours completely deserve the little bit of cash to meet the child's needs and I'm sure many families couldn't do it without the reimbursement. It's just entirely frustrating that people would take on a child for cash or that the money is more important than it should be.
Do these kinds of issues every negatively impact your relationship with Miss A? How honest are you guys with Miss A when these sorts of situations arise? I know she’s a super mature kid but I can imagine that it’s still probably hard for her to process another caregiver talking poorly about you and that impacting how much see can see her siblings. (Also teacher here and thank you for taking your duty as mandatory reporters seriously!)
Our experience is that it doesn’t negatively impact our relationship with her. It’s all about knowing your kid and what information they can handle and how to approach the topic. (And thank you!)
I want to say as a 16 year old that hasn't seen one sister since I was 11, and haven't seen two other sisters since October (their mom wont let me cuz I spoke up about what life was like living with her) it makes me happy to see foster parents fighting to give siblings that time. I live with my grandma(should be in foster care but the case workers are already overloaded they don't have the space to put me anywhere, so I'm here) and she doesn't care about whether or not I see my sisters. She finds it annoying that I still get upset knowing that I'm not allowed to be around them because of distance (the case of the first sibling) or because the abusers don't like that I spoke up. Hopefully this issue is resolved soon, and that woman does seem to only be interested in money, which is sad.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity it's alright! I'm working to get myself emancipated, I've had family members, and friends supporting me getting emancipated. I'm hoping to not be here by Christmas
@@natalieh1950 Have you taken a look at Job Corps? You can live on their campuses and get job training and education. If you look into it and apply now, you might be able to get in whether or not you are emancipated. Job skills etc will help prove your emancipation case. Make sure you have your ID, birth certificate and social security card before you leave your current situation! Good luck!!!!
It's hard enough that these kids have to be in care to begin with, and how adults who can't put their best interest first (NOT talking about Whitney and John, of course!) are making it even harder on them. So sad. Ya'll will be in my thoughts. And Whitney, it's not being the "bad guy." It's being the advocate. Don't let anyone make you feel that there is anything bad about it. (Also, we love you too, Darcy!)
Oh yeah, as a Boy Scout Leader and now a mandatory reporter I have some to say to you that I say to everyone who I report. “I don’t make the rules, but I sure as heck (more colorful word is used) follow them!”
@@teresayates332 Yep. I'm in school about a year away from becoming a teacher, and (even though I am not yet a teacher officially) I am now a mandatory reporter. I have not yet had to make a report, and it will hurt my heart so badly when I eventually have to, but it would hurt far worse if I didn't and should have.
@K M, Yes, it will break your heart, but not because you have to report...it’s what you have seen. Most of the time these kids have already been through so much bad. Now they place where they were told that they would be safe and drama free isn’t. It should be a prosecutable crime if YOU blatantly cause stress, anxiety to these babies. I know I’m over dramatic but as a survivor of child sexual abuse this triggers me! I don’t know anything about why Ms. A’s there but her and her siblings don’t deserve this. I’ll leave my soap box now.
I just wanted to say thank you for Truly caring about the kids in your care. Miss A is very lucky to have such caring, amazing foster parents. I was in foster care from 7-18 and lived in 13 homes and I would say only 2 homes truly cared and sadly the rest cared about the money! They need to remember what a hard stressful and alone feeling this is during this time and how they can use some normalcy and family to help get through it. So they need to stop being selfish and act like a mature adult with the child’s best interests in mind.
Johns face that whole time before he even said it specifically was "Nah! This is about the money and thats it." I dont wanna bash the other caregiver. Or say they dont deserve to be one. But yes. It does seem they need to sort their priorities out. Its just sad. And annoying. These children are already in this position because of ADULT issues. They do not need more adult issues thrown into the mix.
Meghan Murphy right of course duh sorry ha I wasn’t thinking.. of course they have probably found channel .. since Ms. A has probably told her sibling etc. I wasn’t thinking they wld know of channel. Well even better for these 2 posting when they know all will see it. Take care
I’m curious if filming this video will have an adverse affect? Will it create more animosity from the brother’s caregiver? Will it impact how the county/state view Miss A’s foster parents? Serious question...
The foster parent seems so negligent! I certainly hope Miss A’s brother is safe with her! I mean not putting a little child in a car seat is so dangerous! And so many car accidents happen less than 10 miles away from home so I hate to think that the little brother would be a statistic because the caregivers were too lazy to get a car seat!
It's should be law that if siblings are in foster care that they have to have visit at least once a week no matter where they are or who they are with. Bottom line the kids did not ask to be away from each other. Bet more kids would be kept togahter this way.
It sounds like last time brother spent the night it got swept under the rug so the other person still got paid (hence they were fine with it that time) :( that’s possibly why the case manager “magically” knew nothing about it!!
I have been wondering since confidentiality for the children is so huge when fostering- to what extent do you share the children's stories in terms of people you know in real life? For example do you share details with your aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends, etc? Just curious what is considered too much/invasive of privacy for the children when things are offline. Love your channel so much!! You have inspired me to want to foster when I am able in the future!!!
Sounds like its about the money with the other care giver. Sad to say but thats what it sounds like. That or its about "power" she didnt request respit or "her part" and shes embarrassed about it or something. Shes also the one who mentioned the money issue. It should be about the kids. Period. She should have had the kid in a car seat. That was her neglect. She sounds ridiculous.
Wow. Just wow. I'm not surprised unfortunately. I hope that you guys are going to practice some self care because this sounds very wearing, especially because it is clear how much you care for Miss A. Maybe, by not accepting the status quo you will be a small part of permanent change happening for foster kiddos. Lots of support coming your way from a (hopefully) soon to be foster family in California x
IDK... Sounds like she's not a rule follower and doesn't want to get caught by someone who is... And is trying to punish said rule follower for calling her out
People before pesos. Always. People before pesos. Sounds to me like this may not be the case with the other caregiver.🤦🏻♀️ I'm so sorry. What a sucky situation. You are good people, John and Whit. Miss A must be so disappointed not to have this time with her brother. ☹️ I'm sorry, guys.
Your the bad guys to the bad people but the good guys to the good people More than anything you’re the great children of God who are making Him proud. This is just a small point in time in all of eternity. You are gaining so many blessings from heaven -smile, keep your head up, everything’s gonna work itself out for good. You’re doing some thing bigger and better for this family that will benefit all their lives forever. Thank you for doing what your doing ❤️
Thank you, I know you are right. And we are a non religious/spiritual home, supporting any child and the religion/spirituality they are apart of. At the same time, we continue to know and do what is right because we understand the responsibility we have to these kids, the families, and the community.
Foster Mom here too! The system is broken and does NOT always put the kid’s best interest first. 😫 I don’t understand why things like this can be so friggin’ hard sometimes. Ugh. I wish our county would let us talk about our foster experience publicly like this! Does your agency know about your channel?
Where Aunt Madea at? These people need a lesson in LOVE! Keep fighting the good fight, keep letting love shine! These children will never forget how much you guys fought for them.
This "caregiver" is so in this for the money. So telling when she wont allow the child to stay over. Do the right thing guys! You doing the best you know how. :)
It's always about the money. And definitely she views you as a snitch. Even the caseworkers. Just bc people "help" children doesn't mean they are good people. A title doesn't define character. Do NOT pay her especially if she has a grudge. Do not do anything even slightly off the books.
Absolutely no good deed goes unpunished 💯💯💯 Especially when it comes to kids even in the most general sense unfortunately.. You guys are amazing and I also find myself struggling with trying to understand why someone doesn’t like me lol not with trying to make them like me but trying to find out why they don’t.. seems like finding an actual reason someone holds a nasty grudge against you for doing what’s right for a child will unfortunately be fruitless in my experience. Love your family and I absolutely adore Miss.A and her wisdom beyond her years. Great Video 👍 👌 👏 🙏 😃
So, basically, the brother's caregiver won't agree to the overnight because they would lose the money for those days?? Unbelievable!! Some people are doing this for the wrong reasons. Thank you for standing up for what is right.
I don't judge her or the family about the money issue. As a foster family we are on a tight budget. Our little one's money goes a lot to day care, clothes, developmental toys, and we are in the process of getting him enrolled in gymnastics. That money is a part of their budget. Please don't blame in for that. ...But I do understand the frustration. The other foster mom may not feel open enough to talk to you plainly. Hopefully that will change!! I feel for you guys! We are "newbies" too.
Thank you for advocating for the kids in your care (and those that aren't). I'm also a mandated reporter as a teacher and it is both the easiest and hardest thing in the world to make those phone calls but at the end of the day, its about the kids! You're doing an awesome job!! You've totally inspired me to look in to fostering here in Australia- I've got an info session coming up soon!
I don't know much about kids and babies. I know, like, you have to carefully support their head or it fall off or something. And you can't touch the top of their head because they don't have a whole skull yet. And even *I* know that they need to be in car seats until they, like, are as a big as a hobbit and then they have to use a booster seat until they can do long division. Britney Spears taught me that. I also can thank celebrities for teaching me not to dangle babies over balconies or in front of crocodiles. If this "caregiver" needs me to give her a rundown of rudimentary childcare, I'm available. Lol.
You said it all and this is why the foster care system fails. They don’t want you to make things good for the kids they want it to suck. When you try they make it so stressful eventually you get worn out!!! However please continue to fight for what’s right!!! You got a large community behind you!!!
I had a caregiver tell kids she only does it for the money and she wasnt gonna deal with them! She also said she would keep a kid till 18 but would not be willing to adopt obviously she would loose her money!
I reported to caseworker and was them asked to adopt said child myself. I already had other family members but it wasnt a fit for our family at the time. Broke my heart to say no
You guys did so well. I totally get crazy stuff happening. I had a similar stupid situation happen when I was trying to sort out the unfair way I had been treated at a church. I had the pastor pretend he knew nothing about it when he totally did because he was involved. Then other avenues of sorting it didn't work and circular conversations went on and on and a simple solution would have been to just acknowledge what happened to me shouldn't have happened and life would have gone on. But I fought alone to get it sorted for my sake and anyone else who had been or might be in the future treated in similar ways. But nope. That couldn't get to such a simple place. So after 6 months of complete crazy I gave up and cut ties with that church. Maybe losing me made no difference to anyone at the church. But I still can relate to crazy situations in any aspect of life where a simple situation can be overly complicated and people involved can cause issues for no good reason. What I have learnt is it will do your head in if you try to work out why someone acts in an illogical way.
That is absolutely shocking the so called "caregiver" is using Miss A's brother to cause you frustration because she has a grudge against you! As if these kids don't have enough to deal with, I'm actually fuming on all your behalf! She should not be a foster carer!
This is terrible! I’m so sorry to you and Miss A. It’s unfortunate that they couldn’t just make it work when you were trying to do what’s best for the children.
the system is so messed up. Its like tit for tat. Absolute BS. Its about the kids.. I could not work as a case worker and have to deal with all the horrible crap behind the scenes. Such a shame. Kids are ripped out of there regular home and neglect is still happening. Because what they are doing is neglect. Its like the kids dont get a break. They still are suffering and case workers could care less..
I Do Understand your frustrations completely. We were in the Foster care system for a while with all great intentions. We never had any probems with the kids, we had with tons of problems with the Foster care system! To the point we quit. It was very sad, however at some point it was more self preservation of my family. That was more important to us. There is way to much red tape, regulation in the Foster care system, I find this detrimental to all of the kids that are in the foster care system.
No good deed goes unpunished. You guys are great, and it's great to see a mandated reporter actually reporting what they're supposed to report. Many don't. I'm sorry for your frustrations but I'm glad you have each other to lean on.
well the problem is not that you worry about people liking you, its that if someone doesnt like you, it might (and obviously already has in some circumstance) make the situation worse for the kids in care. thats such an awful situation. i dont know the rules, but you would think that there would be something like yearly unannounced visits where issues like the car seat would be found and addressed. i just dont understand how so many unfortunate personalities end up as foster parents. obviously, its not tons, but its enough that there are many, many horror stories. it cant possibly be lucrative enough to make it worth having to take in youngsters who you dont seem to want around very much, at least not enough to keep the rules. and im always irritated by immature adults. how unfortunate.
Here is the thing..if you didn’t report them there wouldn’t be a difference between you and bio parents who are neglectful and get their kids taken away. You did the right thing, set yourself apart and held high standards.
It's amazing the differences between the states and even counties! Here in Oklahoma, that kind of thing would fall under the prudent parenting standard, which is intended to "normalize" life for the youth in foster care. I had the oldest of a sibling set of 4. The second child was with a family only 15 minutes away. The two boys had multiple sleepovers and visits. The other family kept big brother for almost a week when I had a family tragedy and I kept little brother a couple weekends so they could go out of state. We got them together about once a week to see each other and the worker wasn't even involved in that. As for "respite" that's when we ask the agency to help find somewhere for the child to stay, but even with that, the foster parents usually just give cash to the respite provider when they pick up the kids.
You are so so right what's right is right. What is so hard about doing the right thing. Don't you think it takes so much more energy to do the wrong thing because then you gotta cover it up and all that other crapp. It sucks that kids are put in the middle of course not by you guys but still sucks.
My mom and I were watching this and were getting so pissed off on your (and Miss A's) behalf... How can anyone act like siblings visiting each other is inconvenient? How can anyone be so shallow as to deny kids from seeing each other over money? I'm so glad Miss A and her siblings have you guys advocating for what's best for THEM, not you guys.
Can I ask how ms a took all this, and I would just do things without them knowing like buying thgs for kids if I was using my own money etc but like I said in my comment systems in the world are not right alot of agreement and I hope tht caregiver dont see this and get upset with u make ya lives hell
U guys are great dont let the system stop u guys from being great foster family you and john are seriously very great humans and I hope I can be half a great as u guys
I was in Foster care for about 6 months and my foster parents made sure I seen my brother (he’s of age so it wasn’t as hard to arrange) he cried and told her how grateful he was that they were so good to me. (He was only 18 so they wouldn’t let him have me) We still go to church with them. They will always be a part of my story, I will never forget the love and kindness they showed me when I was so scared.
Foster parents will always be the 'bad guys' but that's ok. We have to speak up for our kiddos because who else will?!? Good for y'all on advocating for miss A and her best interest. If she has a GAL or CASA worker, I would contact them and let them know the situation so they can also advocate for the kiddos.
Well, seems to me this “caregiver” should NOT be allowed to be a “caregiver”. Sadly, there are those in Foster Care for the money and not the kids. You are 100% correct! It’s about the kids; not the adults. What is best for the kids? Then do it.
Yes, I had family members who did it for the money. Makes me so sad for these children.
Oh yes. Lots are in it for the money. Which is clearly not a thing for this family. I wish they could have been foster parents for me for a short bit. My foster family was great, but I had tough teenage years. Could have used a respite with these guys!
That’s so ridiculous!
🤦🏻♀️ The money isn’t even enough to be worth it if that’s your only motive.
If you’re meeting the child’s needs as you should be, there’s really not much leftover, so why?
"Whose needs!? Those brats are lucky I took them in. A bowl of cereal, worn down clothes and a garbage bag are enough for them. They're needs? What about me!? I have to be compensated for my troubles!"
@@monicarodrigues985 Please tell me you're not serious. 😊
Do not offer to pay that caregiver. She does not like you. She can turn that around to hurt you. Think trafficking. Do not offer an exchange of money, so you do not get in trouble.
Fair point.
foster mom also : this will continue to be an issue, in our county hearings are every 3 months & you only get the judges attention for a minute... when I advocate for my foster baby’s best interest (visits with his sisters) I ask his GAL to add it to the court order. For example miss A’s brother gets 2 overnights each month with his sister at your home. Then it’s not respite care & doesn’t effect “her” Per-diem. I don’t apologize for being a mama bear for my foster anymore than I would for my bio’s! I love him like he’s mine & fight for him like he’s mine ...until he’s not.
some states will not do it that way
Just hearing this hurts my heart for Miss A and her brother. As for the other foster parent, I realize that no one likes being called out, but not having a child buckled into a proper, age-appropriate seat belt is beyond outrageous. You did the right thing, and also attempted to do it as circumspectly as possible. Truth is, *you guys* are the ones who have the right to be angry if another parent puts you in the position of even *needing* to report safety risks, abuse, or any other potentially dangerous situation for children in their care! Sorry. I shouldn’t even get started here, so I’ll just end with, “Thank you for being a conscientious advocate for children in general and for Miss B, specifically, as your foster child.”
Oops, meant Miss A.
I agree. Sometimes the other parent will probably just “know,” though, or strongly suspect. Hard to keep the shock off your face when seeing a toddler in a car who’s not buckled into an appropriate 3-point safety seat.
Bios, caseworkers, and foster parents need car seat training, I’ve seen all be super negligent with car seats
You guys are the best bad guys I've ever seen! Hope things work out. Sending hugs for you guys and Miss A.
Thank you so much!
I’m so glad you shared this because that goes to show some people are just in this for the money. That other caregiver should be removed from the program permanently! But there is already a shortage of foster homes that she will stay. It’s why foster care gets the bad rap it does.....I could go on and on.
I hear you!
I wish there were more people like you both in this world. You are most certainly NOT the bad guys....like you said you have to do what is right by the kids ...period. I hope things get better for your situation for Miss A's sake & she is so lucky to have ya'll!
Is there a way to file a complaint against the person playing dumb?? That’s surely not in the best interest of the kids! I think you did the right thing for the right reasons.
When I was a private foster care case worker, I was always the “bad worker” according to our local DHHR because I was more concerned with how the kids felt/wanted than how the county workers felt. I don’t care if a case workers feelings are hurt for a few minutes, I do care if a bad placement causes even more trauma to a child though! (luckily I write policy now !!)
Way to move up and make a difference! My husband used to be a case worker and he ended up changing jobs because he couldn't handle how bad the system was and to him the changes weren't being made.
Good for you!!
I am glad your pushing for the kids to be together. You are Awesome foster parents
Whitney & John, continue to advocate! That caregiver needs to soul search and decide if she’s in it for the kids or the money. Like you, I will always advocate for my kiddos, even if I piss off caseworkers. Just a suggestion, if you haven’t already, write an email to all the people who were involved in this. It creates the dreaded paper trail, but forces caseworkers to admit. Also CC their supervisors. I’m at 15 years fostering and once it’s in writing, caseworkers have to do their jobs. Add in what you saw with caregiver. I email all my updates and my worker will usually phone me to talk about it. Foster care is supposed to be about the kids, but sometimes it’s about who is lazy in note taking and who isn’t. I email updates on my kiddos every Monday; it can be a long or short update, but it’s all in writing. Keep up the great work you’re doing. ❤️
Whitney, I was present when my cousin's young son died after a car accident. The picture of him ln the hospital bed, with his sweet little head wrapped up, is emblazoned on my heart. You absolutely did the right thing in reporting the car seat. To anyone reading this that ever has care over a child, please, please, hear my plea and NEVER drive without having the child properly restrained. It's just not worth the risk, for any reason.
After the premiere ended, I had to go back & watch it again. I want to tell you from my own childhood experience, those kids (Miss A) can see your heart, & I guarantee you, she will never, ever forget your love & kindness!! I haven't forgotten someone that came to my rescue, took good care of me & genuinely showed me a love I had never seen before & never experienced again. Those two weeks with those people will forever hold a very special place in my heart & I was only 9 yrs old then & am now 60 & just never will forget their special love!!! I guarantee you, Miss A will never forget yours!!! Thank you SO MUCH for being sunshine on the cloudy days for her!!😘💞
I have a friend whos mother is a foster parent. And this women should NOT be. My friend has even reported her own mother for abuse, neglect, stealing the kids money. She has a drug addict man living in the house, and DCF will not take her fostering rights away. They somehow believe she is a great mother. Anytime kids have brought concerns, they just call them liars. Im so disgusted how the system is. All about money. Theres not many foster parents like you guys. Miss.A. Is so lucky to have you. I know she will be forever 💙 greatful and always remember you when shes an adult. I hope she absorbs all the love and care you and your husband give your family and she grows into a beautiful successful adult. If I ever was in a situation and my kids were removed. YOU guys are the type of parents ID Want my kids with. you guys are saints and people could really learn a lot from you.
And they wonder why there are not enough foster family....THIS IS WHY!! Thank you for sharing.
Why has there not been more done to get the kids less spaced out and in fewer homes?
Oh this question has a complicated answer. Welcome to foster care is the quick one.
@Thora Friganza it's hard to keep large cross age sibling groups together.
It's about where they can find beds at the start of the case. After that, they try not to move the kids unless there's a problem because it's very difficult on the kids to bounce around.
Thora Friganza no, it means the foster families have to work together to get the kids to see each other as much as possible. The foster families have to put the kids first and not themselves or the money (which is a tiny amount in the first place).
Many families won’t take multiple children ..
This reminds me of the movie -it takes two-! Bless y’all for doing what you do!
Kids need someone to fight for them 💖 so even though it may feel unnecessary or frustrating Mrs. A knows her happiness is worth fighting for and that’ll make an impact on her
As a child I was abused and spent time in a refuge when escaping. You are amazing for fighting for miss a. The child is the most important thing and if they are breaking the rules you have to stop it from happening. Miss A is so lucky to have u.
Bless you.... for thinking the of the CHILDREN and the FAMILY first. So easy, just kids meeting, siblings. If my children were in foster care, I would as a family in crisis ... feel so lucky I have such a caring person caring for my child. Also my brothers, when my parents were divorcing, my brothers and I kept each other feeling like a family. We KNEW we were going to be together as a family no matter what.
The kids should always come first. Always!!! Miss A and her family have been through enough if they aren’t supporting the family they need to be fostering
Ugh, how frustrating!! It’s nice to see your love for Ms A in how you fight for her and are clearly in her corner. Thanks again for sharing and I hope the siblings are able to have some really good together time soon! 💕
I think this caregiver shouldn’t be allowed to do this anymore. She shouldn’t be allowed to foster anymore. If you are going to let your grudge against another foster parent get in the way of the best interest of the child you need to quit. Fostering is all about the best interest of the children not what serves you. Especially since she was in the wrong about the car seat situation. It’s a gross situation.
I love how passionate you are and how determined you are to make sure these kids are getting together. Your family is truly so beautiful and inspiring 🖤
You guys are literally gold. ❤️
Wow I’m so concerned about Miss A’s siblings now I hope they’re alright and safe with their caregivers
There is no immediate concern, otherwise... I'd have reported it lol.
Be The Village if they are cutting corners with not providing a car seat, I wonder what else they do not care about and are being too lax about! Car seats are very serious. Things that make you wonder....
You guys are amazing there needs to be more people in the world like you!
It’s really sad when adults make the child suffer for an issue they have with another adult
Oh my goodness! This is incredibly frustrating! I got licensed about a month ago (in Columbus) and don't have my first placement yet. (TOTAL noob 😜) The fact that people are not in this for the kids is absolutely heartbreaking. Honestly, as a single mama (with 3 young bio kids) my biggest worry about fostering is dealing with the system and those who don't put the kids first. I wish I could pick your brain and get advice about what you've been through and how you've dealt with it. I'm thankful to at least have these videos, but I have so many more questions! Lol Thank you for sharing this raw moment ❤
That is really sad! That care giver is not doing it for the right reason! And then should not be doing it at all! It is about the kids like you say! That is heart breaking the kids get hurt in the end! So sorry Miss A snd her sibling do not get their over night visit! They were both most likely looking forward to it! Just because of one greedy, hateful caregiver two children are hurt! So glad you fight for them! And also turn in things you should!! The kids come first not that nasty caregiver!!
It was totally because it was called respit and it is about the financial aspect. I have dealt with this before and it truly is sad.
I work in direct care/ adult foster programs and I must say I have never related MORE to one of your videos! I’m now seeing how similar ( and sometimes beyond frustrating ) both areas of care can be!! I’ve
experienced moments of I’m damned if I don’t damned if I do feelings ! Advocating for others is never easy but it’s one of the most important roles caregivers fill BECAUSE we continue to do it even when you want to chuck your phone out the window 🙃
Wishing miss a and her brother a super fun visit in the nearest future possible
So glad this video hit another level :)
That is so sad, I can't imagine being separated from my family and then to have a petty, small person get in the way of seeing them. That's disgusting. The foster agency needs to reassess her position, she obviously isn't in it for the right reason. I'd calculate the amount she's going to be out and get it in dimes from the bank. Keep following your heart, Miss A will benefit just from knowing you fought for her and her family 🧡🧡🧡
I see as y'all being the good guys. My heart breaks for Miss A. I've had 2 neighbor girls live with us at different times due to the parents decision. The first girl was 15 and parents decided she needed to find another place to live because they were having problems. Who does that ?! She graduated and is now a manager of a pharmacy. The 2nd girl is living with us now. Her mom and srep dad decided to move to Colorado where you cad get high legally. Wow ! I just can't wrap my head around that. She graduated eary and is working
You two are the best 🥰
How does that caregiver even still have her job if she put a child in danger like that? Wow.
Do they even attempt to keep siblings together? Until that possibility exhausted should they split siblings. Removed from home and parents then split from siblings.. that is a true trauma. A kid mind could handle removal from danger but separation from siblings would truly cause dissonance and trauma. You guys are amazing and are creating change I can feel it.. your influence is getting into areas and places that will never fully be realized but I feel it happening.. “you have to do right cause right is right”
👍🏿🤝🙏
It’s hard getting foster parents for one kid much less siblings.lack of resources. It would be easier for a pair of siblings but usually the more siblings the harder it is to keep them together.(this is all from what I’ve heard from people in foster care/are foster parents)
In some cases there is a need for keeping kids separated because of the situation that landed them in foster care.
i can tell you i have to go through the foster system in florida in 2018 for a year and they didnt try at all to keep my children together , on the contray i wanted to scream and cry so hard because of it ... they took my oldest and shipped him and his brother off to miami while my youngest stayed here , they took my middle child and brought him to punta gorda leaving my oldest in miami and pissing off the lawyers . then finally they took and allowed my oldest to be moved across the state from us in orlando , so in order to get our children together for visits i had to drive 5 hours one way picking them up and 5 hours another way to drop them off but it was the only time my children could see each other and we decided to take that time as a family ( we had a choice do the once a week for all 3 or seprate for all 3 and they wouldnt see each other until they got moved closer to us ) all of this just broke my heart and i know it broke my kids hearts but we made it through ..... my oldest current has ptsd as well as my middle but his is non verbal and autustic .
Whatever their case is, Miss A and her siblings need some sort of normalcy in their lives. They need each other in this time.
I like you, if that means anything. lol. The fact that people actually foster FOR THE MONEY blows my mind. It is such a worrisome issue because it is totally obvious that those families are NOT fostering for the right reasons and the kiddos are probably not being treated as well as they should she. It makes me sometimes wonder if foster parents should be reimbursed for caring for these kids. Families like yours completely deserve the little bit of cash to meet the child's needs and I'm sure many families couldn't do it without the reimbursement. It's just entirely frustrating that people would take on a child for cash or that the money is more important than it should be.
Do these kinds of issues every negatively impact your relationship with Miss A? How honest are you guys with Miss A when these sorts of situations arise? I know she’s a super mature kid but I can imagine that it’s still probably hard for her to process another caregiver talking poorly about you and that impacting how much see can see her siblings. (Also teacher here and thank you for taking your duty as mandatory reporters seriously!)
Our experience is that it doesn’t negatively impact our relationship with her. It’s all about knowing your kid and what information they can handle and how to approach the topic. (And thank you!)
So much for putting the kids first. Shame on them.
I want to say as a 16 year old that hasn't seen one sister since I was 11, and haven't seen two other sisters since October (their mom wont let me cuz I spoke up about what life was like living with her) it makes me happy to see foster parents fighting to give siblings that time. I live with my grandma(should be in foster care but the case workers are already overloaded they don't have the space to put me anywhere, so I'm here) and she doesn't care about whether or not I see my sisters. She finds it annoying that I still get upset knowing that I'm not allowed to be around them because of distance (the case of the first sibling) or because the abusers don't like that I spoke up. Hopefully this issue is resolved soon, and that woman does seem to only be interested in money, which is sad.
So sorry that you can relate to this.
Hang in there, my dear, things will get better 💙 I don’t know when, but some day.
I am so sorry...
@@BeTheVillageCommunity it's alright! I'm working to get myself emancipated, I've had family members, and friends supporting me getting emancipated. I'm hoping to not be here by Christmas
@@natalieh1950 Have you taken a look at Job Corps? You can live on their campuses and get job training and education. If you look into it and apply now, you might be able to get in whether or not you are emancipated. Job skills etc will help prove your emancipation case. Make sure you have your ID, birth certificate and social security card before you leave your current situation! Good luck!!!!
Keep on being YOU! I think you two are just AWESOME! I will be praying for you all! GOD BLESS YOU!
❤❤🙏❤🙏❤❤
It's hard enough that these kids have to be in care to begin with, and how adults who can't put their best interest first (NOT talking about Whitney and John, of course!) are making it even harder on them. So sad. Ya'll will be in my thoughts. And Whitney, it's not being the "bad guy." It's being the advocate. Don't let anyone make you feel that there is anything bad about it. (Also, we love you too, Darcy!)
Thank you for reminding me that being an advocate is being the bad guy, and there is nothing wrong with that.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity Nothing wrong at all. It's what you're supposed to do, in fact!
Oh yeah, as a Boy Scout Leader and now a mandatory reporter I have some to say to you that I say to everyone who I report. “I don’t make the rules, but I sure as heck (more colorful word is used) follow them!”
@@teresayates332 Yep. I'm in school about a year away from becoming a teacher, and (even though I am not yet a teacher officially) I am now a mandatory reporter. I have not yet had to make a report, and it will hurt my heart so badly when I eventually have to, but it would hurt far worse if I didn't and should have.
@K M, Yes, it will break your heart, but not because you have to report...it’s what you have seen. Most of the time these kids have already been through so much bad. Now they place where they were told that they would be safe and drama free isn’t. It should be a prosecutable crime if YOU blatantly cause stress, anxiety to these babies. I know I’m over dramatic but as a survivor of child sexual abuse this triggers me! I don’t know anything about why Ms. A’s there but her and her siblings don’t deserve this. I’ll leave my soap box now.
I just wanted to say thank you for
Truly caring about the kids in your care. Miss A is very lucky to have such caring, amazing foster parents. I was in foster care from 7-18 and lived in 13 homes and I would say only 2 homes truly cared and sadly the rest cared about the money! They need to remember what a hard stressful and alone feeling this is during this time and how they can use some normalcy and family to help get through it. So they need to stop being selfish and act like a mature adult with the child’s best interests in mind.
How sad it's all about the money for some people. People should understand it's about the kids
Yep!👌🏼
Johns face that whole time before he even said it specifically was "Nah! This is about the money and thats it."
I dont wanna bash the other caregiver. Or say they dont deserve to be one. But yes. It does seem they need to sort their priorities out. Its just sad. And annoying. These children are already in this position because of ADULT issues. They do not need more adult issues thrown into the mix.
I know who that one dislike is 😅
?
@@Think-dont-believe I was referring to the woman who's holding a grudge against Whitney.
Meghan Murphy right of course duh sorry ha I wasn’t thinking.. of course they have probably found channel .. since Ms. A has probably told her sibling etc. I wasn’t thinking they wld know of channel. Well even better for these 2 posting when they know all will see it.
Take care
I’m curious if filming this video will have an adverse affect? Will it create more animosity from the brother’s caregiver? Will it impact how the county/state view Miss A’s foster parents?
Serious question...
The foster parent seems so negligent! I certainly hope Miss A’s brother is safe with her! I mean not putting a little child in a car seat is so dangerous! And so many car accidents happen less than 10 miles away from home so I hate to think that the little brother would be a statistic because the caregivers were too lazy to get a car seat!
It's should be law that if siblings are in foster care that they have to have visit at least once a week no matter where they are or who they are with. Bottom line the kids did not ask to be away from each other. Bet more kids would be kept togahter this way.
It sounds like last time brother spent the night it got swept under the rug so the other person still got paid (hence they were fine with it that time) :( that’s possibly why the case manager “magically” knew nothing about it!!
I have been wondering since confidentiality for the children is so huge when fostering- to what extent do you share the children's stories in terms of people you know in real life? For example do you share details with your aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends, etc? Just curious what is considered too much/invasive of privacy for the children when things are offline. Love your channel so much!! You have inspired me to want to foster when I am able in the future!!!
We do not share case details with even our family.
Sounds like its about the money with the other care giver. Sad to say but thats what it sounds like. That or its about "power" she didnt request respit or "her part" and shes embarrassed about it or something.
Shes also the one who mentioned the money issue.
It should be about the kids. Period.
She should have had the kid in a car seat. That was her neglect.
She sounds ridiculous.
Wow. Just wow. I'm not surprised unfortunately. I hope that you guys are going to practice some self care because this sounds very wearing, especially because it is clear how much you care for Miss A. Maybe, by not accepting the status quo you will be a small part of permanent change happening for foster kiddos. Lots of support coming your way from a (hopefully) soon to be foster family in California x
It’s totally about the money but she doesn’t want to admit that.
IDK... Sounds like she's not a rule follower and doesn't want to get caught by someone who is... And is trying to punish said rule follower for calling her out
People before pesos. Always. People before pesos. Sounds to me like this may not be the case with the other caregiver.🤦🏻♀️
I'm so sorry. What a sucky situation.
You are good people, John and Whit.
Miss A must be so disappointed not to have this time with her brother. ☹️
I'm sorry, guys.
Your the bad guys to the bad people but the good guys to the good people
More than anything you’re the great children of God who are making Him proud.
This is just a small point in time in all of eternity. You are gaining so many blessings from heaven -smile, keep your head up, everything’s gonna work itself out for good.
You’re doing some thing bigger and better for this family that will benefit all their lives forever. Thank you for doing what your doing ❤️
Thank you, I know you are right. And we are a non religious/spiritual home, supporting any child and the religion/spirituality they are apart of. At the same time, we continue to know and do what is right because we understand the responsibility we have to these kids, the families, and the community.
Gah! I hate that playing dumb thing. That’s the worst
Foster Mom here too! The system is broken and does NOT always put the kid’s best interest first. 😫 I don’t understand why things like this can be so friggin’ hard sometimes. Ugh. I wish our county would let us talk about our foster experience publicly like this! Does your agency know about your channel?
Whitney 2020
😂
It was the money. She got defensive way too quick, sheesh what is wrong with these people
Omg the ending where Darcy says I love you everybody. Seems like the cocoa welfare system needs Darcy’s attitude.
Where Aunt Madea at?
These people need a lesson in LOVE!
Keep fighting the good fight, keep letting love shine! These children will never forget how much you guys fought for them.
unrelated but the way you guys look at each other is so sweet and loving :)
This "caregiver" is so in this for the money. So telling when she wont allow the child to stay over.
Do the right thing guys!
You doing the best you know how. :)
Co parenting with strangers- I commend you.
It's always about the money. And definitely she views you as a snitch. Even the caseworkers. Just bc people "help" children doesn't mean they are good people. A title doesn't define character. Do NOT pay her especially if she has a grudge. Do not do anything even slightly off the books.
Absolutely no good deed goes unpunished 💯💯💯 Especially when it comes to kids even in the most general sense unfortunately.. You guys are amazing and I also find myself struggling with trying to understand why someone doesn’t like me lol not with trying to make them like me but trying to find out why they don’t.. seems like finding an actual reason someone holds a nasty grudge against you for doing what’s right for a child will unfortunately be fruitless in my experience. Love your family and I absolutely adore Miss.A and her wisdom beyond her years.
Great Video 👍 👌 👏 🙏 😃
So, basically, the brother's caregiver won't agree to the overnight because they would lose the money for those days?? Unbelievable!! Some people are doing this for the wrong reasons. Thank you for standing up for what is right.
I don't judge her or the family about the money issue. As a foster family we are on a tight budget. Our little one's money goes a lot to day care, clothes, developmental toys, and we are in the process of getting him enrolled in gymnastics. That money is a part of their budget. Please don't blame in for that. ...But I do understand the frustration. The other foster mom may not feel open enough to talk to you plainly. Hopefully that will change!! I feel for you guys! We are "newbies" too.
Thank you for advocating for the kids in your care (and those that aren't). I'm also a mandated reporter as a teacher and it is both the easiest and hardest thing in the world to make those phone calls but at the end of the day, its about the kids! You're doing an awesome job!! You've totally inspired me to look in to fostering here in Australia- I've got an info session coming up soon!
Yes!!
I don't know much about kids and babies. I know, like, you have to carefully support their head or it fall off or something. And you can't touch the top of their head because they don't have a whole skull yet. And even *I* know that they need to be in car seats until they, like, are as a big as a hobbit and then they have to use a booster seat until they can do long division. Britney Spears taught me that. I also can thank celebrities for teaching me not to dangle babies over balconies or in front of crocodiles.
If this "caregiver" needs me to give her a rundown of rudimentary childcare, I'm available. Lol.
You said it all and this is why the foster care system fails. They don’t want you to make things good for the kids they want it to suck. When you try they make it so stressful eventually you get worn out!!! However please continue to fight for what’s right!!! You got a large community behind you!!!
WHITNEY WAS NOT HERE FOR THE ATTITUDE!
Heck no!
I had a caregiver tell kids she only does it for the money and she wasnt gonna deal with them! She also said she would keep a kid till 18 but would not be willing to adopt obviously she would loose her money!
I reported to caseworker and was them asked to adopt said child myself. I already had other family members but it wasnt a fit for our family at the time. Broke my heart to say no
Wow, report that person to their agency/county. Please.
I did and the caseworker for the child asked me if I would be willing to adopt as i already had 2 of his family members in my care
You guys did so well. I totally get crazy stuff happening. I had a similar stupid situation happen when I was trying to sort out the unfair way I had been treated at a church. I had the pastor pretend he knew nothing about it when he totally did because he was involved. Then other avenues of sorting it didn't work and circular conversations went on and on and a simple solution would have been to just acknowledge what happened to me shouldn't have happened and life would have gone on. But I fought alone to get it sorted for my sake and anyone else who had been or might be in the future treated in similar ways. But nope. That couldn't get to such a simple place. So after 6 months of complete crazy I gave up and cut ties with that church. Maybe losing me made no difference to anyone at the church. But I still can relate to crazy situations in any aspect of life where a simple situation can be overly complicated and people involved can cause issues for no good reason. What I have learnt is it will do your head in if you try to work out why someone acts in an illogical way.
That is absolutely shocking the so called "caregiver" is using Miss A's brother to cause you frustration because she has a grudge against you! As if these kids don't have enough to deal with, I'm actually fuming on all your behalf! She should not be a foster carer!
This is terrible! I’m so sorry to you and Miss A. It’s unfortunate that they couldn’t just make it work when you were trying to do what’s best for the children.
the system is so messed up. Its like tit for tat. Absolute BS. Its about the kids.. I could not work as a case worker and have to deal with all the horrible crap behind the scenes. Such a shame. Kids are ripped out of there regular home and neglect is still happening. Because what they are doing is neglect. Its like the kids dont get a break. They still are suffering and case workers could care less..
I Do Understand your frustrations completely. We were in the Foster care system for a while with all great intentions. We never had any probems with the kids, we had with tons of problems with the Foster care system! To the point we quit. It was very sad, however at some point it was more self preservation of my family. That was more important to us. There is way to much red tape, regulation in the Foster care system, I find this detrimental to all of the kids that are in the foster care system.
No good deed goes unpunished. You guys are great, and it's great to see a mandated reporter actually reporting what they're supposed to report. Many don't. I'm sorry for your frustrations but I'm glad you have each other to lean on.
well the problem is not that you worry about people liking you, its that if someone doesnt like you, it might (and obviously already has in some circumstance) make the situation worse for the kids in care. thats such an awful situation.
i dont know the rules, but you would think that there would be something like yearly unannounced visits where issues like the car seat would be found and addressed. i just dont understand how so many unfortunate personalities end up as foster parents. obviously, its not tons, but its enough that there are many, many horror stories. it cant possibly be lucrative enough to make it worth having to take in youngsters who you dont seem to want around very much, at least not enough to keep the rules.
and im always irritated by immature adults. how unfortunate.
Here is the thing..if you didn’t report them there wouldn’t be a difference between you and bio parents who are neglectful and get their kids taken away. You did the right thing, set yourself apart and held high standards.
I reported a foster parent and now they upset.
It's amazing the differences between the states and even counties! Here in Oklahoma, that kind of thing would fall under the prudent parenting standard, which is intended to "normalize" life for the youth in foster care.
I had the oldest of a sibling set of 4. The second child was with a family only 15 minutes away. The two boys had multiple sleepovers and visits. The other family kept big brother for almost a week when I had a family tragedy and I kept little brother a couple weekends so they could go out of state. We got them together about once a week to see each other and the worker wasn't even involved in that.
As for "respite" that's when we ask the agency to help find somewhere for the child to stay, but even with that, the foster parents usually just give cash to the respite provider when they pick up the kids.
You are so so right what's right is right. What is so hard about doing the right thing. Don't you think it takes so much more energy to do the wrong thing because then you gotta cover it up and all that other crapp. It sucks that kids are put in the middle of course not by you guys but still sucks.
My mom and I were watching this and were getting so pissed off on your (and Miss A's) behalf... How can anyone act like siblings visiting each other is inconvenient? How can anyone be so shallow as to deny kids from seeing each other over money? I'm so glad Miss A and her siblings have you guys advocating for what's best for THEM, not you guys.
Surely that is a form of abuse withholding sibling visits over pettiness
Can I ask how ms a took all this, and I would just do things without them knowing like buying thgs for kids if I was using my own money etc but like I said in my comment systems in the world are not right alot of agreement and I hope tht caregiver dont see this and get upset with u make ya lives hell
Miss A was upset because of the lack of reasoning behind the decision and appreciated the way that I spoke up to the adults in the situation.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity that's good to hear ae hate it if she got upset with ya
the system all over is broken all they did in my life was bring me down keep being the light in a world of darkness !!
U guys are great dont let the system stop u guys from being great foster family you and john are seriously very great humans and I hope I can be half a great as u guys
I was in Foster care for about 6 months and my foster parents made sure I seen my brother (he’s of age so it wasn’t as hard to arrange) he cried and told her how grateful he was that they were so good to me. (He was only 18 so they wouldn’t let him have me) We still go to church with them. They will always be a part of my story, I will never forget the love and kindness they showed me when I was so scared.
Kids should come first
What a nightmare
Wow its shocking how much people care about money more than getting these children together and back with their families!
Foster parents will always be the 'bad guys' but that's ok. We have to speak up for our kiddos because who else will?!? Good for y'all on advocating for miss A and her best interest. If she has a GAL or CASA worker, I would contact them and let them know the situation so they can also advocate for the kiddos.
Have a call with them Monday :)
As a CASA, I would be all over this!!!
@@BeTheVillageCommunity Good!!
@@margaretthym8234 YESSS!!! ❤
That is so sad!
Sending love and prayers to your family
Girl you are on fire and I love it!
Good for you guys. Need more people like YOU two in foster system
God bless you guys,for real!!! Miss A will never forget what you have done for her......EVER