When can Mario retire? | Unraveled
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- Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
- Mario has been working hard since 1981, so Brian David Gilbert unraveled when he'll have enough coins to finally kick back on that beach chair in Boca.
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Brian in the video that made him get a job at Polygon: "I love Polygon, I love when you make funny videos, videos that calm me down and put me at ease."
Brian in this video: Gets me to question everything and get nervous about retiring and worry about him
Calling out Virgil I’m putting in 100 a month I was 24 when I started and my company does retirement matching
It’s not perfect but it’s a start. This just reminds me I need to put more in, I guess after I pay off student loans lol
@@m.ivyluna4632 Build up to about 1/3rd of your salary. Avoid lifestyle inflation. You will be fine. All the very best.
@@dijojohn38 Most people can't afford to put aside a whole third of their salary with how high rent costs are. We're not talking lifestyle inflation either, even shit holes are expensive as fuck.
is it me or does brian look like pro jared?
@Jack McLean Ahhsjdkhkjh That is very very true!
“What if I never die?” “Then you can never retire” are words that make sense to me yet still are a shock to hear
Its also total bullshit. If you are in the stock market or even just bonds you can retire indefinitely after a certain point.
LarryM yeah but that also makes you lose your soul which counteracts the immortaility
@@Falcodrin NOT ANYMORE! #REDLINEGODOWN
@@Falcodrin but when the stock market crashes you crash down with it
@a guy Investing turns you into a ghoul.
"but when you say crucial, do you mean... optional?"
-me when studying for exams
this is basically a psa telling people to save for retirement
@@omnical6135 No, it's a PSA telling people just saving for retirement won't work. You have to invest in some form.
@@TurinTurambar200 No it’s a PSA that late stage capitalism has screwed us all over
@@omnical6135 is
@@omnical6135 is
I kinda felt bad for Brian when he realised that he would never be able to retire, but then I remembered that he's living the dream making 20k dollars a month just by working from home and being his own boss, and you can too!
All you need is access to a computer and internet access!
Not true, and also harmful for implanting false hope in people.
@@SoybeanInTheMilk It's a joke from a video that Brian made. Maybe you should start living a live from your own perspective instead of from the perspective of a group of imaginary people that probably don't exist
Why don't you join us.
Why don’t you join us Why don’t you join us Why don’t you join Why don’t you join us Why don’t you join us us Why don’t you join join join ususususususus Why don’t you join us?
“what if i’m never gonna die?” “then you’re never gonna be able to retire.” is the most depressing thing i’ve heard today, and that’s saying something
Is it? Why?
If u have a cool job it wouldn't be that bad
I think arguably you could still retire if you planned on living forever. Let's just say that markets/rates/etc. stay constant, then theoretically you could save up enough money to invest in a perpetuity and you would be forever paid your monthly income. It'd take a lot of money, but it's how the Nobel Foundation has monetary awards to dole out every year.
You could retire at a normal retirement age, then go back to work again at a normal age of death.
@@preludednocturne4147 So your job would be as an investor rather than a laborer of any kind. Still a job.
"God has punished me for my hubris, and my work is never finished" comes to mind with this
Source?
@@cassun603 one of BDG's other vids. I think it's the skyrim one, but I'm probably mistaken
It’s bowser’s military hierarchy if im not mistaken
His lust for speedrunning has gone too far.
Nice pfp
Fun fact: they made us do a similar exercise to this in 8th grade math class. And watched as all the 13 yes olds slowly realized they would never be able to retire
Here’s the real world jimmy, where our generation screwed up the world so much that you’ll have to work every day in your life with no hope of relaxing. Good luck, welcome to our national debt!
@@bananaeclipse3324 the real cause is government intervention, it has caused stagnation in growth that has resulted in this issue.
@@aidenaune7008 if it wasnt for the government, the minimum wage would either be 3$ or not exist at all. And Boy oh boy would Cooperations not pay much more than minimum pay, because of profits
@@alexanderzippel8809 you do know the minimum wage does literally nothing but cause inflation when it is raised right? the value of the dollar is set by its use, and unskilled labor is the biggest use of money by far, so much so that it nearly entirely decides the value of money (and also changing it changes the prices of everything else to account for the drop in buying power). changing the minimum wage does not make one richer or poorer, it only causes money to be worth more or less, which is entirely arbitrary.
oh and also it is the public that sets wages, if everyone decided to not be paid less than 40, companies would be forced to pay 40, it is only the competition for positions that reduces wages, which is entirely the public's action.
@@aidenaune7008 Idk, europe seems pretty fine to me with their minimum wages. France, the Scandinavian countries, etc. Seems more like the US is a pretty shitty place
Could you imagine if this video was just a way to trick millennials and gen z into learning about pensions and retirement... That would be crazy
apparently it won’t matter since we’ll be worked to death anyway :)
it's funny because he's in a union (or was at filming), so he deffo has(/had) a 401(k).
@@leeblock9573 Also Polygon's career page advertises that they offer 401k plans as a benefit.
@@maybemc1498 Bee movie reference???!??!!?!?
@@beanids it's not a bee movie reference it's a statement about the world.
"But when you say crucial do you mean optional?"
- Brian David Gilbert
you saw his face fall as he realized his own downfall
That last question is more for him rather than mario
"Local personality discovers on-air that he is not going to be able to retire.
More at 11"
in other news: "Water wet"
@Luke Crain I know! It's really scary in the job market. I just kind of want to make some light of it.
that's how socialists are made
@@davidabuashvili3158 👈👈😎 🍞ayy🌹
@@davidabuashvili3158 Good! Radicalize more people!
Apparently my mom (an accountant) saw me watching this video and brought it up during dinner. She started the convo with "you remember that guy you were watching earlier that was computing his retirement and got 85something and he just looks dead after?" Btw, she wants me to tell you "I'm sorry" 😅
I’m done for lmao
I’m really curious about how that convo went
@@moosesues8887 I think we all are
shouldn't be a problem for brian. he's making $20k every month by being his own boss!
And he knows when he's going to die, which will make it easy for him to know how much to save for his retirement
and you can do that too!
😂 $20k! From what? Donations?
Nobody actually gets paid that much a month. If they did, they’re employer would go broke very quickly.
You can save up for it, and it’s possible to make that on charity IF YOUR LUCKY AND YOUR FANBASE IS THAT GENEROUS.
Most entertainers and artists don’t make a lot of money from those works. Which is why many work other jobs so they can afford to keep trying to be an artist or entertainer.
@@LordEmperorBoss he just followed Dorian Smiles's program
ua-cam.com/video/wbfu39l0kxg/v-deo.html
@@LordEmperorBoss cry me a river. *It's a fucking joke*
"a grown man tries to figure out a cartoon character's financial future and in doing so has an existential crisis"
Thats pretty much every episode at this point
@@danielstachowiak568 I mean you're not wrong
Definitely a alternate episode title
@@danielstachowiak568 yep he came 'Unraveled' there
Is this the first unraveled you’ve seen? Cause they all like this
"God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished"
He predicted it
not predicted, its scripted, so. And he does foreshadowing stuff all the time in them.
@@ninjapanda6204 That was a different video
@@ninjapanda6204 The video he said that in was around a year before this one. If he planned far enough ahead to intentionally foreshadow that hard, that's actually more impressive than just being able to predict the future.
It was even during the Bowser's Military video too.
@@sagecolvard9644 The reason he grew a mustache is literally a video he planned to shoot 9 months later
Why is Brian worrying about his own retirement? He already knows he's gonna die on May 6, 2030.
BDG will canonically die on my 28th birthday :\
@@snowlondon8642 you young young baby. I shall be 33
@@purplepodperson 39 for me. Big OOF!
plus he’s already making 20k a month while working from home, making his own hours and being his own boss
@@landler656 You're all children. But I guess we all are compared to the "old folks". It's all relative. Don't fear it. Embrace it. I hope one day I'm the oldest person I know, and then I can finally feel superior to everyone.
6:14 This bugs me, because it’s confirmed literally within the first hour of the game that the Beanbean currency (the coins you use in Superstar Saga) are more valuable then the Mushroom Kingdom’s coins. From what I’m aware, the minimum amount of coins that you can have you before Tolstar calculates that it’s equivalent to 10 Beanbean coins is 105 Mushroom coins. So the Mushroom Kingdom’s inflation is even worse then what you’ve calculated.
But it gets worse because at one point in the game you make a bet with the prince and the winner gets 99,999,999,999,999 mushroom kingdom coins Wich translates to 99 Bean Bean coins
Trust me. It's just become a running joke In the game. I would say it would be about the same
In the end, Nintendo really had in mind the consequences of everyone being able to grind infinite money while making their worlds apparently xd
@@KodaThePsyduck don’t even get me started on the Dream Coin the Zeekeeper made.
Dude can create anything, and he created the Weimar Republic
I also immediately thought he should have gone with Partners in Time or Bowser’s Inside Story for a more accurate inflation.
Some people probably expected that a show called “Unraveled” would be referring to figuring about the mysteries of video games. They never imagined that it was talking about the mental state of BDG.
Claire Edwards I always thought it meant his mind 😂
It clearly is about unraveling the many ways capitalism ruins people's lives. But do continue
this comment appears on every unraveled video smh
MrAwesome172 because people, sometimes, actually have similar thoughts! Wow, isn't that strange?
Don’t forget all the OSHA papers
The financial advisor asking the real questions like, “Does Mario have a pension? Is he part of a plumber’s union?”
He be doin his job i guess
Abbes Taabouri Yup.
Isn't Mario being paid by the kingdom for constantly saving peach?
Princess Peach sure is sweating bullets now knowing there is a plumber´s Syndicate
@@nicolelukens5055 I think he can keep the coins he collects, but he isnt paid traditionally.
This was Brian subtly trying to ask his boss for a raise.
"Subtly"
Brian didn’t take into account possible inheritance/financial support. His brother has a mansion for heaven’s sake, albeit haunted. We all know Luigi is a weak-willed coward, but I highly doubt he will leave his brother out on the streets when he has his reputation to consider.
You mean the mansions (yes, plural) built out of spectral essence that vanish as soon as he defeats the head ghost responsible for making them, that for some reason are filled with literally millions of completely-real Mushroom Kingdom currency?
Yeah. Luigi idolizes his big bro, so as long as Mario keeps on good terms with him, he's set for life.
Strong-willed coward
by helping mario out of debt that could be luigis chance to finally step out of his brothers shadow
Not haunted. Luigi cashes in at the end of the game and buys himself a new mansion with the profits gained from the original mission in the original mansion.
Yeah. Luigi is also married to a royal member. I mean, I don't know if married, but they do have a good thing going on.
The erasing chalk with his hands really gets me. Something so primal about it, makes me know immediately this is a man broken after searching hyperinflation
Not to mention the chalk marks on his laptop
I saw this comment before the gag and just thought you meant being broken under the weight of the system. After the gag I have to admit I am so broken under that weight that the thought of P-balloon 34 provides escapism in the form of genuine laughter. .____.
Yeah
Just for fun
"I've worked some days" *remembers that BDG has read all Skyrim books, the entire Geneva Convention, and Kirby*
Eating the chicken sandwich while soaking wet - fun times!
Don't forget the entire OSHA code
To be fair, unless they didnt use it in the video, there is still quite a lot of kirby lore that he didnt read, although it makes sense to ignore the void part if youre making a parody video about what kirby is and suddenly find out in a boss description kirby is one of them, except positive energy instead of dark matter
Researched all the Zelda games, including CDI, show, and MONOPOLY
Plus the sonic bible
When he says "we haven't accounted for inflation" you can see a subtle regret in his eyes at the realization of how ridiculous this is as if that was point of no return.
Time marker?
@@Flamme-Sanabi6:05
i aspire to have the amount of calm and open mindedness that Nate Choe posseses. Man didn't even blink at the batshit crazy sentence that came out of Brian's mouth about how he want to know when Mario can retire
"What if I'm never gonna die?"
Today on Unraveled: Brian realizes he's a millennial.
Ouch
Thanks boomers.
Today on uraveled: Brian realizes reality is sad as fuck
@@then35t18 Thanks boom boomers
Today on Unravaled: Brian experiences class consciousness.
Rename the title to: “Young man has a panic attack as he discovers that Mario won’t be able to retire, and neither will he.”
In case you didn't know, "Unraveled" is short for "Young man has a panic attack as he discovers"
Existential Horror: The Video Game
That spoils the joke tho
Now I’m imagining BDG at age 80......
+ "or himself."
"But when you say crucial, do you mean optional?"
I felt that like a dagger through my fucking soul
Fun story, if you work in education in a place that includes these kinds of financial lessons in their curriculum, you tend to end up with few kids saying “Whew, glad I know what to do” and a lot of kids reacting similarly to Brian realizing that things are kinda fucked.
Source: have worked in education in a system where basic financial planning is an element of the general curriculum. it’s rough watching kids start out optimistic bc rent seems mostly doable with the wages that they’re looking at, and then you have to explain to them that they forgot to factor in the cost of groceries (and that no, $10 a week is not a reasonable budget for groceries), and the cost of car insurance, and the cost of fuel, and so much more. when they ask you “You just told me I’m supposed to save for retirement, how tf am I supposed to do that?” there’s not really a good answer.
this was posted a year ago, but it's really poignant.
I originally wrote this paragraph about how not teaching them this crucial understanding and skill might galvanise students to actively fight for economic reforms and policies, which might upset the politicians who call the shots. basically how keeping them unaware makes it easier to control.
but maybe its also just... too depressing to tell a bunch of kids who were made to experience the brave new world. fixing the economy and keeping it stable is immensely challenging, without factoring corruption and greed. its such an important skill to know, but how do you do that without severely crushing them? how do you do that in a way that will still encourage them to try and plan and save?
of course all of these questions are rhetorical, but hearing your experience is just making me reflect so much on it. and by reflect i mean spiral
brian now has two choices:
- become an epicurean hedonist
- revolt
luckily for all of us, those choices are not mutually exclusive
Yeah but one sure is easier than the other :D
@@Twitchi Well revolt is easier.
BDG handles the guillotine
"epicurean hedonist" is a little redundant, but that fits with the theme of excess, so I love it
- become an epicurean hedonist
- revolt
- join smash
Nate: “ You Have To Calculate a Death At Some Point “
Brian: “ Alright. *But What If I’m Never Going To Die?* “
Archie Winston that’s the problem I always have
When thinking of retirement
Also, the fact that lead the advisor to say he could never retire is SCARY bad advice. he just needs to work with 100% of his waking time for a few decades until he has enough money that he's making more interest than the level of spending, and he's golden for eternity. aka, the Vampire retirement plan.
But we know he dies on May 6th, 2030...
@@wildwolf8505 yeah we got 10 more years of Brian. he should be saving now for that one year of retirement he probably can't afford.
@@wildwolf8505 Can someone calculate Brian's retirement plan then?
I forgot about this iconic moment in history where bdg realized he, like 75% of us, cannot retire.
Honestly this video has encouraged me to think about retirement saving more than any home ec class or company seminar ever could
I think that was the point. BDG is a mastermind. He made a fun digestable and funny video that can help us learn about inflation, savings and how we are all working ourselves to death under our current economical system which targets a generation that tipically wont care and might not learn in any other way.
the kids do be lovin mario
"For a strangely smooth skinned mustache-ioed man" said the previously strangely smooth skinned mustache-iod man
Sascha Becker he is no longer a mustache-iod man
Abfs The worst object show ever
Thus he is a PREVIOUSLY strangely smooth skinned mustache-iod man
Might be better moving the word previously to after the word skinned
@@JosiahMcCarthy Thanks! English is my 2nd language.
I have never wished that I didn’t understand a joke more than the “Mario hyperinflation google results” bit
Enlighten us
@@camtothemax search it yourself, it's for the best for all of us
@@camtothemax European Central Bank head is called Mario-but a quick Google search would have told you this
@@teethgrinder83 i don't think that's what he meant
@@sevencats4964 really? That's how I took it but I could well be wrong, certainly wouldn't be the first time lol what do you think he meant?
The fact that the guy had no idea who exactly Mario was while he was doing the whole thing confuses me
The implications of him not knowing who mario is makes his worry for mario sadder
The texts he shows specifies ruining the numbers for "Mario Mario", to run the numbers he'd need all these details.
"mario" is a pretty ordinary real-world name lmao. maybe at "technically some sort of freelance plumber" you'd get suspicious, but probably not when youre in "work mode" and not expecting anyone to covertly ask you about video game characters.
You fools. It is an inside job. The financial advisor is in Brian's old bay video on his channel from years ago. You have been deceived.
brian probably told him to act like that for the bit
This is the only Unraveled video I have trouble re-watching. Brian’a descent into madness is exactly what I go through every day of my life
ok but: isnt this why mario goes after the princesses? man knows he needs a sugar mama to support him he's seen the economy
Finally, a good point & some good news
Genius
I'm sure Luigi would be willing to financially support his brother, let him crash at his mansion every once in a while. He's a pushover.
@@Silverwind87 I see you haven't met sniper Luigi,
war changes a man
Finally someone knows the truth
alternative title: local millennial finds out he can never retire through mario
alternative alternative title: funny wahoo video game italian instills the fear of death into the younger generations
Very few of us will be able to retire, so at least he's not alone in his suffering.
Hopefully he does take better financial car after this
@@fannerbuoy3688 yeah, i know I'M sockin' away all my avocado toast money into my retirement fund while living a miserable day-to-day existence, hope nothing big happens to the economy soon
Das the joke
"I Googled Mario Hyperinflation, and got some exciting search results"
Huzzah! A man of quality!
I love how he changes the outcome of the whole project, just so that Mario can have a nice retirement. What a good friend, bending the laws of reality for you to chill on the beach sipping a pina-colada.
Over the course of this season of Unravelled, watch BDG slowly develop his class consciousness and eventually work his way to the mass labor strike in the season finale
The season finale of course being 'how could the Animal Crossing world hold a strike against Tom Nook'.
@@EinDose Tom Nook canonically gives the vast majority of any and all profit he makes to orphanages and charities, and his story and lore revolves around how he started penniless and destitute and began creating businesses so that he could help afford to raise his two nephews and give them the life he feels they deserve. He remains close friends with Mabel, Sable, and Label, and he builds the player a house with a no-time limit and no-interest loan of approximately 38,000 bells. Bells are based roughly on Japanese Yen, which means Tom Nook builds you a house, interest-free and payable at your own leisure, for approximately 400 USD.
If anyone in Animal Crossing deserves to have a strike held against them, it would be Gracie, a conceited fashion designer in the big city who influenced an impressionable hedgehog into feeling like she had to sacrifice all her family connections and hometown friends in order to make it in today's modern fashion industry, one that is well known for eating its designers alive and forcing them into drug addiction and suicide-related deaths to deal with the stresses and overwork.
Do not ever dare to insult the tanuki again. Not ever.
I would die for the Polygon Socialist Revolution.
@@morganevers4839 that's all just bourgeois propaganda
@@horricule451 eat the rich, down with Tom Nook!
He forgot to take into consideration that hes got a princess for a sugar momma, a brother who makes enough money to fund a whole hotel in one night and that he gets discounts on items depending on how good his mustache is looking that day! We dont even know if any of those sports tournaments he enters have prize money! There's still so many empty puzzle pieces to this debate Brian!!
@CindyMuse Fun fact: Luigi also owns a very successful casino as shown in the New Super Mario Bro’s minigames
I think we want him to keep his hair rather than tear it out factoring in the legality of gifted (and likely laundered) hospitality money
@@averyheart4480 Something about the idea that the Mario brothers could be laundering money makes me crack up and I don't know why. Thank you, stranger, for this image I am never going to be able to forget.
@@arnerademacker8548 the question is, which criminal element is Luigi doing deals under the table with? Wario? Bowser? The mushroom kingdom itself maybe? They can't afford ransom but they can afford expensive cars and blimps? Not saying just saying.
We just gonna forget all the times Mario has collected valuable foreign currencies and made countless connections with other nations' monarchs. He's collected Rubies, Bean Bean coins, Heirlooms, and many other important treasures. Plus Mario's up-special in Smash projects coins from the air. (Okay they could come from his pocket but what if they don't)
SPOILERS, kinda:
Plus are we not just gonna mention that at the end of Dream Team, the Zeekeeper makes millions, if not tens of millions of coins fall from the sky? The bros are stacked for life!
I feel like this video is just the most long winded way Brian could think of to ask for a raise.
This is actually how planning your own retirement feels. Coming to terms with the fact you will never save enough and then just putting dream numbers in to calm down your anxiety and then seeing how ridiculously high the numbers are and shutting down. Yay America!
Brian: "I've worked some days..."
Brian: *PTSD to the Kirby video and Skyrim video*
Moe J flashback to the sonic video
*cries in Castlevania video*
Don’t forget about fire emblem
and figuring out the Zelda Timeline
are we forgetting the smash video?
I love how he avoiding mentioning that the person he was talking about with the financial advisor is a fictional character. It is pretty brilliant.
I feel kinda bad for the advisor, I wonder if he was let in on what was going on beforehand.
@@Cute___E I'm pretty sure it was planned before hand
I dearly hope it was planned, otherwise it feels kinda wrong
@@yphre they do these interview segments often, and I'm pretty sure it's always planned, otherwise the answers wouldn't even make sense. Plus the people have to give permission to use their image
He told the guy it was a friend named Mario, who is a plumber. Mario isn't some supa sekret gamr thing. People know who the fuck Mario is. Come on.
7:22 you almost got me. I was about to google "Mario Hyperinflation" myself but then I remembered the thing with Sonic inflation stuff and realized this is probably a very bad idea.
Thanks for the warning
0:32 ah yes, my favorite jobs: tennis coach, knight in armor, and C A T
Mario: Catboy for Hire
@@mxsdrago really wishing I was Jared, 19 right about now
I'm starting to get the vibe that the "Unraveled" title doesn't refer to the game lore, but rather Brian's frail psyche.
No offense but I can't believe how many people are only now figuring this out. Did you see the Sonic Bible first, because I thought the first episode made it pretty clear what this series was about.
yes lol
holy shit!! i’ve never heard that joke before!!
Good to see you've caught on
Just Monika
"I looked up 'Mario Hyperinflation,' and I got some _exciting search results,_ that were ultimately unhelpful."
...oh god...
Ohhhh
@kevin willems I'd really rather not chew on "mario hyperinflation," thanks.
I didn't realize until the "oh god"
my gut hurts from laughing at this, and also the sickening implications this has regarding brian
I was looking for someone to comment that
So this is when BDG decided he should leave Polygon
"we're walking tens of millions of dollars in debt by death"
"that's no good"
I love how on the Skype call Brian looked like he was trying really hard to not give away that "Mario" was Super Mario
given Nate's text literally refers to Mario as Mr Mario Mario, I think he's in on the joke lol
Okay, the accountant doesn’t look a day over 26 but talks like he’s 47 and doesn’t seem to know who Mario is, so I don’t know what to think
If he's in New York like BDG, it's possible he knows Italian-Americans named Mario, so the name has lost the video game context. Also, he's an accountant - they all talk like they're 47.
it’s also very much a joke in the text he called him mr mario mario the financial advisor knew who mario was
He's Mr.Negative, it doesn't have to make sense
@@katherineducas7637 the text is fake. Sorry to burst your bubble. But at least we know BDG was able to talk about Mario's finances for a while, while keeping a straight face and the other person not knowing who he is.
Jp Obi the text being fake makes more sense but i’m willing to bet he still knew he’s not an idiot he knew it was for a video bc brian would have to let him know and get consent to record him and use it in a video so brian explained the video concept
I'll be honest this video made me start putting money into retirement on day 1 of getting my first job out of college. So thanks Brian for at least saving others from the same crisis
God, the final shot of this video is absolutely soul crushing, just the look of pure sadness in Brain's eyes speaks volumes
[falling asleep to unraveled playlist]
1:28 - "sci-fi novel in one hand----"
[eyes snap open]
THE HALO NOVELS. HE MEANT THE HALO NOVELS---
That was my first thought! But only because I stayed up all night & binged every Unraveled episode last night because I haven't watched BDG's activities on Polygon & now I'm upset that I've missed out on so much.
Oh yeah, it's all coming together.
Glad I wasn't the only one who had this thought!
He even specified the drink he held in the video. This man planned this shit out.
Hi fellow time traveler
I mean Mario’s been in a relationship with a princess for a while now, he should just get married and live off of the mushroom kingdom’s tax coins
And be jailed/possibly executed for living off of the Mushroom proletariat's hard work? Nah, Mario is actually smart for staying out of politics, they have a nasty tendency of ending in decapitations when princesses and inflation rates of 15% are involved.
What about when he finally gets arrested for his war crimes?
M&M why would he get jailed? The mushroom kingdom is a monarchy, whatever princes peach says is law. Mario won’t get jailed unless he gets on her bad side.
_ it’s a monarchy, so there might be a rebellion. And without him, bowser might take over the mushroom kingdom
What will he do when Wario’s revolution comes?
"Oh boy! I'd better start saving up for retirement!" *World Economy collapses again*
Just like George Carlin said. Suddenly pensions disappear when you go to collect them, the economy crashes at the worst times, and inflation crushes anyone's chance of saving money. It's a big club and your not in it.
"Since Mario isn't part of a union, he isn't getting raises to offset inflation." I'm in a teacher's union and my yearly "raises" do not cover inflation. And if a raise doesn't cover inflation, you're actually getting a pay cut, not a raise.
unions only hurt workers. leave your union and have its leaders arrested as the mob bosses they are. communism has never and will never work
"I've never seen anything so sad
We're talking tens of millions of dollars in debt before death"
"That's no good."
in this episode: brian discovers the horrors of the american economic system
And Mario inflation porn
I literally explained to my brother yesterday that even if you own a house, if you don't pay taxes on the house, you don't own it anymore. It's magic.
@@thatspoonybard8013 Well that doesn't have anything to do with capitalism. That's just required for any form of civilization, government or community, especially advanced ones. Infrastructure and law can't exist on donation or privatization. In fact it's the lack of properly high taxation that leads to wealth and wadge disparity, monopolization, and problems like entire generations not being able to retire. The problem isn't that taxes are too high for most people, it's that they aren't high enough for the rich and corporations.
😭 yes 😭
@Leonardo #toddyn Strange of you to assume that 3rd world countries don't have economic systems.
This makes me completely depressed, and I feel awful for DBG. How can I be happy when such youthful and invigorated people like him are doomed to such a crushing fate?
Surely Mario is receiving some sort of benefits given he essentially acts as the mushroom kingdoms military
"As soon as I turn 50, I'm hitting the beach with a pina colada in my hand"
Brian, you work in online video production *ohhh that's where this is going*
He won't reach 50, he dies on May 6th, 2030.
@@Silverwind87 Ahh, true. The scene of his death is incredibly bleak, so I've heard.
Mandy Berry
That is so.
@@knifola4128 🤔🤔🤔
"I Googled Mario Hyperinflation and I got some exciting search results"
Yeah, I can only imagine what horrors he encountered.
Deviantart weird serches flashbacks
WHY ARE YOU HERE TOO?!?! WHY DO I SEE YOU ON EVERY VIDEO I WATCH?!
oh i just realized what you ment ;-;
but...I just saw u on a Necrit video...
i can more than imagine it and i can say without a doubt dont do what i did it was a severe mistake please never search that
I swear you could can pinpoint the exact moment when the certified financial advisor lost all hope
9:02 - The look of grim realization is priceless.
1:24 "Pina Colada in one hand, sci-fi novel in the other"
This was a cry for help
wasn't he still reading those at this point?
Justin Holloman yes, and legend says that he still is
The fact that he actually said the drink he had in that video... my god
Well, I have a much better solution: Mario should move to France, ask for french nationality and then, his retirement will be paid by the state at approximately age 60!
The economy might get so fucked by that point that even we might have to move it to age 70 at some point. Still better than 88 considering my genetic chances of dying between 75-85.
Isn't Mario Italian?
Lol.
Lmao even.
This is genuinely terrifying to me. Its why I've already accepted that I'll never retire, and my plan is to 1: never have kids, 2: buy a $200k porsche at around 45 years old with the money i saved from not having kids and 3: enjoy the car for 5 years and then wrap myself around a tree at 200mph so i never need to worry about retirement
Damn you stole the idea that my dad had
@@user-uh7cb3vy4v he kinda fumbled at the first step of the process
the green lighting,, the green tie,,,
he's embracing his inner luigi
It's green for that $$$$
Character development
He's already envisioning Mario's retirement
With a purple overcoat to represent the waluigi shell
@@Full_Throttle_Axolotl He's trying to find out how much he's going to have to lend his brother to retire
when he said that an immortal could never retire I felt so profoundly sad for such an impossible concept
Don't worry, most vampires were smart enough to invest wisely when buy in was low and to hoard gold since its value wouldn't be lost to inflation, what since they're in some ways an allegory for the bourgeois draining the proletariat and hosting overly decadent balls for degenerates to engage in depraved acts, often involving exploitation, behind closed doors.
Werewolves are totally fucked though.
Whenever Mario decides to retire, he'll likely mooch off Princess Peach, who will likely feel some sense of obligation to him after being saved by him so many times. Not enough to marry him or anything, but I don't think that letting the Hero of The Mushroom Kingdom go homeless would help her approval ratings very much.
And yet almost every immortal in fiction is unemployed and filthy rich
Check out a book called "Postmortal" by Drew Magary. It's a book about how a "cure for aging" was invented and how dystopian stuff gets now that people can't die of aging
coming back to this video two years later. The line "inflation can't possible stay that high" has aged like fine poop.
"So when you say crucial.... do you mean optional?"
I died laughing when I heard this. Get that ROTH up and going my friend.
See, ultimately none of this matters, because Mario is in a long term committed relationship to the ruler of his country, and therefore will have all of his worldly needs taken care of the moment he decides to step back and let another plumber fill his shoes.
. . . Ever thought of marrying rich, Brian?
i'm not brian but is this an offer
Wait a second... mario... the kingdom... bowser... fancy rabits........
Wait.... hold on...
Hm.....
AHA
ITS ALL CONNECTED!
peach has a deal with bowser!
Bowser kidnaps peach, mario collects coins to rescue her, peach collects her temporary "boyfriend's" coins, saves some in the royal treasury, and gives the rest to bowser! Thats how she says so popular! Thats how bowser gets funding! Thats why bowser leaves a trail of coins for mario to collect!
But what if it runs deeper.....
Hmm
What if mario know about this secret alliance and is playing his part to keep his girlfriend Rich and his combat partner in buisness? Hes just playing the fool in righteousness! And luigi knows too much so they keep abandoning him at random ghost mansions to kill him off!! Ahahahaha
Mario used to be a plumber, but his new occupation is prince consort to be and personal bodyguard to the heir to the throne. Whereas it has to be mentioned that the bodyguard role is very much a voluntary one, and all compensation he gets is technically looted and plundered and not fairly earned. We don't know much about the mushroom kingdom, but we do know that royalty generally never retires. Which will at some point include Mario, who'll stand beside Queen Peach someday. All Mario will be able to do in the future, is to delegate some of his duties to his inferiors and/or infants. At some point, princess Peach will also not be a desirable kidnappee anymore but have that curse fall unto a new generation of mushroom kingdom royalty.
BDG, on the other hand, is probably fucked, like so many others in his generation.
Big brain
He _is_ Kotal Khan's cuddle buddy.
"When you say crucial do you mean optional" I felt that
Was Brian also calculating compounding interest on savings? That makes a big difference when you're competing against inflation.
If the interest rates were worth a damn I'd agree but I haven't seen it over 2% in years. Even high yields have fallen below that.
This video flips between hilarious and despair inducing faster than I'm able to cope with
"I googled 'Mario Hyperinflation' and I got some exciting search results that were ultimately unhelpful" I SCREAMED
7:22
@@tahamohiuddin7425 Yeah. Inflation is a fetish.
evn I’m glad that I’m not the only one who laughed there arse off at this
Why are you screaming
thanks to you this video is the second result
"I've never seen anything so sad.
Tens of millions of dollars in debt."
BDG: that's no good.
All jokes aside your model for calculating the value of a gold going is litterally the only good one I’ve ever seen on UA-cam. Everyone just talks about the value of good but no one actually takes a canon approach to understanding it’s in gamma purchasing power. As an economics student I appreciate your work.
Coming back to this after the reveal that Mario is *25*
"I googled mario hyperinflation" NONONONONO ONONOONO DONT DO THAT
What's so bad about former president of the European Central Bank Mario Draghi?
I didn't realise the implications until I read your comment
Why does the internet always have to ruin everything?
It's fucking nothing?
That one guy who’s here for no reason
Because we fucking exist in the first place
Mario: "imma going to retire!"
The economy: "I'm about to keep this man in his career forever"
lol
Im bout ta continue this mans whole career
@Lucina Walker Nintendo: "lol nope, you're not retiring for a LONG time."
The way that it hits him that we, as people currently under 40, will never get the retirement we've all been promised... I felt that in my bones. Pouring one out for both our futures, Brian.
As a latin american, i find it hilarious how he thinks a 15% inflation rate is "really high"
When you realize that over 50% of the workforce doesn't even make $3k a month to begin with, let alone able to save enough to retire on $3k a month...
I mean it also depends where you live. a person in New York City has a different cost of living than someone in rural Kansas.
@@torispaide1347 And a lot more people live in New York City than in rural Kansas. But cost of living also depends on household size and structure as well. A person living alone will have far lower expenses than a person taking care of a child or an elderly, infirm, or disabled relative. A healthy person will have far lower expenses than a disabled or chronically ill person. You can use MIT's Living Wage Calculator (livingwage.mit.edu) if you want to see county-by-county estimates of living costs and average annual salary per occupation. Find out where in the country different types of households can make do in depending on occupation. You'll find it's often a lot harder than you'd think.
“Average American”
@@clashblaster Someone living alone will have HIGHER expenses than someone living with other, abled people. Rent/mortgage, groceries, utilities, are all exponentially cheaper the more people share them. So yeah, actually, it makes sense that if you want to live ALONE, in a house you own, you'll need 3k a month unless you already paid your mortgage off.
@@yokolittner4830 Reread what I wrote. I said a person living alone has lower expenses than a person living with a child or an elderly, infirm, or disabled dependent. Not a person living with another who is able to bring in another comparable income to theirs. Plus, even if all members of a household are working and bringing in comparable incomes to each other, they still need a place to live that is big enough for all, plus they must spend money on their own food, healthcare, clothing, etc. The household utility cost will be proportionate to the usage of multiple people (with some savings on heating and such). A household with multiple working people has higher overall expenses, but individual burden is lessened, although the degree to which varies. I would not estimate that difference to be an "exponential" one in any case, and neither do the folks at MIT who I linked to and who are far more experienced than I am. If you want exponential decreases in living costs, you would want to be living in some kind of commune rather than simply living with a roommate or two.
Now we just need BDG to find out if Tom nooks business is illegal or not or if the homes in animal crossing are up to code please I really want this
this!!
The Fez Dragon yes
I GOTTA see that omg
What I want to know is, IS Nook's hands-off approach to being a landlord financially sustainable? Brian could poll a bunch of people he works with on what the rate is they're paying off their houses in New Horizons, he could calculate various other factors like building permits, materials, and since it's in a tropical area, the insurance rates for potential hazards like hurricanes and flooding. Remember, you also don't pay for any utilities, so any electric appliances, any water fixtures, that's coming out of, presumably, HIS pocket. How many bells is he making, and is it enough to keep his insanely generous business afloat?
Darrark yes you’re idea is so much better
"I'm gonna be out there on the beach, Pina Colada in one hand, sci-fi novel in the other, soaking up mother-nature's cosmic rays."
I like to believe he was talking about the Halo novels.
"so I have to be able to just discern when I'm willing to croak, is what you're saying"
that sentence killed me
"Because God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished"
*"I googled Mario hyperinflation, and I got some exciting search results"* oh god
It’s fine if you don’t click images I think
sometimes I wish I was Jared, 19.
@@weaponizedpizza8825 let's play "see how many people don't get the reference"
Nice detail that Brian is using a chalk board now since he apologized to the trees in the last video for using so much paper
Actually, I feel think you *can* retire if you're going to live (almost) forever. If you have enough money that the amount you get in interest is higher than the amount you need to survive, you'd just make back the money you spent in interest every so often. You'd be able to keep doing this until the economy (or at least the institution giving you interest) collapses.
I love how every single one of these videos starts out "normal", but as the video progresses, Brian slowly descends deeper into madness
You could even say it unravels.
@@darrellkiely91 you madman
The real question is what are we are we unraveling: the subject of the video or Brian? I think the answer is both
@@darrellkiely91 oh that actually would explain the title
Brian is slowly losing grip with his fragile reality he has been defeated two videos in a row and I don’t see a victory for him anytime soon
Well there's that and the whole covid-19 thing going on right now.
Its gone from bdg ubravels a video game to bdg himself unravels. Id say last 3 (this, kirby, and the sims)
@@icedtea649
atleast the sims was a victory.
We need another win... Maybe unravel Pandemic? (Analogue or digital, both work)
But the further he drifts from reality, the better the content gets
this may be one of the most depressing unraveled episodes
we’re never gonna be able to retire
Me: Oh cool, a new Polygon video to help me relax during these trying times
Polygon: Mario will die at 90
that's the most hopeful part of the video lmao
That is bullshit, Mario is athletic, and mostly vegetarian, but fat. His last 1up might be at 75.
@@ivanmegafanboy1981 Vegetarian, but he eats a lot of carbs. "I hope she made lots of spaghetti."
ivanmegafanboy really. Remember pizza pies and pepperoni pizzas
@Jadyn Mondscheinsumo wrestlers are not the best example. They have a life expectancy of 60 to 65 years. That's 10 years lower than the average male japanese life expectancy.
"Man stuck in video game lore hell."
Never change, BDG.
As of this video, looks like he may never get the chance...
Oh no my cheap gag made me sad. :(
*2 years ago*