How long does it take to Recover from Narcissistic Abuse
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
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50 years of narcisstic abuse since I was born. First mother, then friends, then husband and no one helped me....only brainwashed enablers. I am working on this every day since 8 years ,the day I knew why I was so in pain. I nearly died of it. My body was so sick and I had really no one but my pets. I am so much better but not healed. Thank you Jay.❤
Keep going ! 😊
@@soniagomes9734 sure, thank you🙏❤️
Almost feels as if we all have the same intentional designed life. 🤔
You have brain damage. You cannot recover. That is wishful thinking. Short answer...this guy may not have ever experienced it or caused damage to him.
Same....nearly 60 years for me.
So tired.....so much physical healing to do, the health issues are still coming even though I left him three years ago. The divorce is final, but I have SO many ups and downs mentally, emotionally.
I'm back in therapy again, and trying to continue to do my work on my own also....but I'm so worn out.
Some days I'd just like to go to sleep and never wake up. (Note: I am not going to off myself. I've seen that in my family, and I know what it does to those left behind in its wake. I won't do that to my own children.)
But I am still SO very tired.
I’m at 4 years- still healing but better always- first couple of years pure hell-
My relationship was 23 years , married, 3 kids and a big fat fake life with a fake person with darkness everywhere.
I went no contact at 5 months break up- found a narcissist coach, had counselors, still almost went down too far.
But now, now im a different person and I know that evil exists and that trauma bonds are real and i see that my purpose lies in this awakening. My faith is deep now as a result of this journey and im thankful for it.
Stay strong and you’ll come out the other side stronger and wiser and better for the world.
💖🌺🦋
60 years. I don't believe that I can ever be 'unbroken.'
I feel my recovery has seriously sped up since I cut off my parents completely and blocked them on whatsapp. Since then, it's sped up again after leaving an abusive workplace. I feel a lot of us are probably still around abusive people but not aware of the extent of that. Like a lot of us only identify our parents or a portion of the abusers in our current life.
You have opened my eyes as to why I can’t heal within my current environment, thank you for this🥹
Absolutely, i second this.
We can only recover without abusers,the sicko's needs to be tip toed out of our life! JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.
Same.
Cutting off my family was a huge leap but helped my recovery. Though I am over 2 years No contact, I do realised how much time those situations wasted for me.
I mean I had to learn everything myself for the first time as an adult.
In Nursing field there are many narcissist and abusers, never let them get away with anything confront them right there and then,in the nursing station,in front of the manager in front of other co workers, put them in their place.
I don't think we are ever the same after narcissistic abuse. That type of evil changes a person.
I would have 2 agree with u
I healed as soon as i realsed who and what i was dealing with. Game over😊
When it’s an unloving narcissistic mother it’s a never ending recovery story ey. I am so glad I am at least getting to the stage when I am no longer guilt ridden and confused as much.
I do somehow believe that God’s never abandoned me though and that’s important. I often feel His love and protection.
17 years for me so far, I’m 20 recently went back to college and am working to save to move out ASAP
Hang in there. You can do this. You're farther along than most of us were at your age. Find a good therapist above all else.
As soon as you get away from them the better❤
I know all of us commentators are survivors here including myself. So I wish you all lots of love and good mental health. Don't feel guilty for cutting out the malignancy out of your lives. You've got this!
For myself, recovery will take the rest of my life.
when it comes from family it always does.
Same, I believe.
Yes especially when you were surrounded by some / encountered several.
I think not
@@Hippowdon121 all human beings r traumatized just from being imperfect in also, an imperfect world. When we should be perfect in a perfect world. But this kind of treatment from family is more than the regular humans experience as trauma...& is also more than regular faults from family.
I dated one for about two months before feeling confident in the diagnosis and am a clinical SW. The mind fucking it created in that time frame had been hard to process so I can’t even imagine being with one for years.
Imagine having 2 parents that do it, lol. They trained me to become a magnet to these types. Only figured it out after 30 yrs
For me, it was in learning what it was, how it worked, and how to counter it.
I'm about 3 years into healing and it's the first time in a long time I feel normal inside despite the still persistent extreme chaos around me on the outside.
LOVE YOURSELF we recover. We are strong beyond our wildest dreams.
Please don’t put a deadline. Many of us are working on ourselves.Some of us take longer than others
I agree. It's been 15 months for me. I still struggle but the pain and anxiety is a LOT less than it used to be.
my mom is 75 don't think she will ever recover in this lifetime, but she has finally began to admit ... poor thing spent so much covering for him they trauma bond the change in personality just to cope - I get to knock down that house of cards - hope I can .
Best o luck 🍀🤞 to ya.
I'm in a similar boat
I have experienced abuse since I was born. Both my parents saw their children as objects, not human beings. The father died four years ago. Narc mother and enabling siblings 3 years no contact with. The recovery process seems endless. I suspect I will never be fully healed. Even if I live to be 100 years old. But with knowledge of what happened, gaining distance and living in defiance of the Narc rules (Jay, your 3 pillars of recovery) I feel I am making some progress. Thank you for all the work you do. 🙏🌷
It’s s very hard the narc husband drained me both physically and emotionally. I was his slave so I lost myself fully. I ended up an empty shell. After he left i had to learn to live again. It’s extremely difficult. God stepped in and gave me masculine energy and I worked so hard and survived while I was still being attacked by family narcissists his side and my sisters. 5 yrs ago I went no contact forever. Top of the world now. Love me and my life I feel so beautiful again he made me feel ugly as they don’t sleep with you either to make you feel ugly. They give you horrific punishment. Not a word spoken, no laughter no nothing. Evil demons they’re all going to hell!
I live next door to my 86 yr old narc Mother. I’m a Sculptor. I just fell badly and fractured my wrist. I’m in a cast to my elbow for at least 6 weeks. Her reaction and reaction to my psycho brother blowing off driving me to my first doc appointment because he wasn’t feeling well.(they put me in the cast and took X-rays but no doc was available) “Oh, well he didn’t feel well you can’t blame him. I’m just so relieved it’s not broken’. No mom it’s broken it’s fractured. I’m in a cast. “Well, it’s not broken, broken.’. Arrrrrgggggggggg. Edit I live in a remote village and luckily my sister took off work and her daughter spent hours and got me in to see a doctor but it was exhausting and took three people hours. 60 years of mental illness cloying, manipulative narc, psycho sadistic gaslighting. I felt like I was doing really well until this really took me down a bunch of notches. Now I really hate them both again (my mom and brother). Before this incident I felt like I could walk away from all of it, even the theft of my inheritance by my brother. Now…..am about to blow
I think my 2 Narco Nazi bros. may've given me 2 strokes, to go along with the ❤ attack, sleep disturbance, amnesia, etc. Finding out, soon.
So watch your BP. They excel at raising it. ~ Breathe.
📚🌱💫
If you were raised by a narcissist, your likely to partner with a narcissist.
Unless you just decide to stay single & free.
@@lookingtowardsthesunTHIS.
No one protected me nor supported me after narcissistic abuse. It was a learning experience for me. Both of my parents were narcs too. I'm 41 now. I cut off all contact with all the nars in my life. I have a toddler that I'm going to teach about narcissistic abuse so that he knows what evil is. I don't want him going through that type of abuse.
All by design.
The nasty words spoken by the narc reverberate in your flashbacks forever. Indelible.
67 years old. Narc Father. Three ex Narc wives and one packing around a Demon. Two ex girlfriend Narcs. So Narc free since 2009. Still having that problem with flash backs. However became Rich from focus on a hobby that became a living. I got off the couch and hiked and wrote music on Guitar and piano and hired a person to transcribe. Became a song smith in demand. To get even with these Clowns is to become what your dreams are. Never thought of it as to get even.. Just happened because I did my best and God knows that. Sure they all come back around to Hoover. Just hand them their ass at the right moment. Another thing is to change what we are attracted to. It is like playing a out of tune guitar. However it becomes harmony and a new way to live. Just don't forget what these Clowns did. You are far stronger than you realize now.
9-12 months imo. That's when I felt great. Then something happened and I fell back into a living situation with the narc. Now gone again for 4 months and feel 80% healed. So you can definitely heal in 6-8 months if you weren't in it that long, but the longer the abuse then probably 18-36 months.
Great answer 💯💯💯💯
It depends on many factors
If you are alone, no work, no kids to pick up your self for them, health, age , how you are emotionally so many factors including religion.
Getting a job and prayer helps tremendously !!!!
Be strong up there
From birth…. But that I turn helped me in turn. identify a narcissistic relationship in time to get out so as not to repeat cycles. I’m healing.
Your short videos are big help! Thanks Jay
#4, and more important, are you angry or still heartbroken.
It's tiring for me. I'm 34 years old and since 2020 covid and lockdown my dad stopped bothering to work.
He's lazy, asks us for money and follows me around the house day and night sabotaging whatever chores and plans I make for the house.
My head feels heated from the stress of telling him off but nothing works.
I feel hopeless because I will never be able to afford to move out.
Patience snd compassion strength in rebuilding our self esteem ❤
I ran into electronic tapping field on UA-cam and it helped me snap out of depression. It's simple, easy to do and the effects are immediate.
Answer the Factor #1, started in infancy. Answer to Factor #2, NO. Answer to Factor #3 well into adulthood. I'm screwed. 😭
Me too!
Child hood no 46
If you're raised by narcs you're bound to marry one and that's how the trauma goes on for decades. Didn't even know they were called narcs till recently and l think it's an epidemic..
No one protected me from my narc husband and his family. I was just 22 when I was forced to marry him. I took it all in silence for 20 yrs then crashed with a breakdown. As soon as he introduced me to his family being mother, brother and father they stopped speaking to us. When we got married he stopped speaking to me. Silent torture for 20 yrs. Then he left with one of his harem line but I kept getting attacked by the Narcs his family and my sisters! So I went no contact! I’m so happy now. It’s like heaven no contact. Love my life at last without those demons. They’re actors theatrical every word is a lye they don’t care about anyone. People are so naive as they believe the Narcs. What a shame. God sees it all they’re a one way ticket to hell!
It took decades to recover from my narc ex-husband. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that a guy from the same socio-economic background as me could marry me just to verbally, psychologically, physically, and financially abuse me! Just couldn't believe it. I had never heard about narc abuse in those days. My family did NOT protect me, and neither did his. There was nobody to teach me about narc abuse in those days. I was crippled in so many ways.
I’m going on 30 years after a 10 year relationship with an abusive narcissist. I’m still recovering from it. I keep hoping that one day I’ll learn to sleep through the night without waking up in fear at every little noise.
40 yrs... born into a family, with covert father and malignant mom... Only recently "woken up" from my own life to finally understand why my world is so foggy and filled with anxiety... Started taking meds from a psychiatrist about a year ago, it really helped. But I'm still working on the internal healing. I still have lots of nightmares but at least now I know why...
1. Birth
2. Zero
3. 47 years
...so yeah...
Birth
Some relatives
35 years
1 birth
2 zero
3 60 years and still taking (hearing) it from 87 yr old mother
Me...her caretaker...moved 1000 miles away. Just to find.....me .
It is all depend, so many factors
4. Geographic distance from the narc. Are you able to move many miles away? No children mean you can create a lot of geographical distance and have emotional space to recover..
5 Do you have children? Young children mean more contact with narc.
Before you leave, make sure any abuse of children or abuse of you in front of children is very well documented. I mean, so well that there is zero wriggle room in the courts for the abuser as you can prove there s a pattern of abuse, and it's not an isolated incidence. However, do it on the quiet- carefully.
Recovery can take a lifetime but healing can only takes a second because all big changes starts with a one second decision that you take for yourself and specially when the trauma is old and has last and so on… after that you only take care of the scare not to re-open it because sometime we can all lose attention…
20 year marriage and 20 years abuse but after lots of therapy and Jesus in my life it took 6 years to leave and another 4 to get passed it.
I'm 58 and still trapped. I don't think I will ever escape. She has too much control. I won't be able to live this way much longer.
It's been 4 years...I'm doing better but I'm not doing well still...I'm tired.
34 years with a woman I had no business marrying
How about..how long will it take for vindication
When does the survivor or supply get Justice
🆗👏✨🥂✅
Seems like forever.
You need 3 months for every year or 24 solid
😅😅😅, he is soo cute to be on the ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS!!! FROM NORTHERN CALIFORNIA!!!
💐
I have just recently heard of brainspotting and was interested in trying this with my teens. Anybody have experience with this therapy? I’m praying this is going to help.
Me, too. I'm curious, along with TRE and some others.
EMDR just wasn't enough after it happened.
25 years!😮
The first sign which was a strange snap 3 months, No, 10 years..
Teen recovery from narc abuse
Q1No. Q2 no. 35 years of hell!
Early, no one, on going
Doesn’t it just mean they’ve gotten to a point where they’re so horrible, you have to say enough is enough!
Me? 3 1/2 + years. YEARS!
Basically, a complete ‘nuther lifetime, for me - but wouldn’t I rather be recovering - than still back there, with any of them?
Oh no
I was in a Narcissistic abusive relationship with my ex gf for 11 months. The abuse started after 2.5 months. It was minor in the beginning but it started escalating to a point she was getting physical after 6 months. The cussing, insults etc kept going up and up.
It's been 1 year 3 months since the relationship ended when she discarded me. I'm doing a lot better but i still go back and forth ruminating. I still talk to myself and her off and on. There hasn't been a single day where i haven't thought of her. I cannot be in a relationship with anyone even though I've met lot of lovely healthy women.
I know this is going to end at some point in the future and I'm happy i have worked on myself to be a much better person physically and mentally.
From birth, no protection for me just enablers for her, till 46 last month. How does one calculate the timing on that?
It’s been since 1992. 31 years? I’ll be fine when he’s dead. I thought my church people would help me, but no.
3 years old, no, 45 years!
Geez years mabye
324 years 😂😂😂😂