I absolutely despise parents who rob their kids of their childhood, then expecting them to pay for everything in their lives once their kid graduates. That is NOT why you have kids.
In undeveloped countries that's exactly why they have kids. There's no social safety nets and children(particularly males) end up enslaved to their parents.
I thought the agreement was that no-one was going to go crawling back to the other when they were poor and unhappy? Yeah, that kind of "one rule for everyone" kind of ruined my relationship with my parents.
Amazing that the parents disowned OP for choosing a career that made him happy, meanwhile they wasted their money gambling and were too proud to ask their daughter for help despite her being in a position to do so. Sometimes it's better, if not easier, to swallow your pride and admit you were wrong. Then at least you don't look like a proud hypocrite.
Well i said it again, if you're disown and they suddenly want you back is for one of the following reasons : They need money They need place to live If you have kid they want to meet with their grandchildren They need organ donor They tried to save face/reputation Etc etc.
I agree. But sometimes it might be something else entirely. That they’ve found Jesus and want to repair what’s been done. It might seem unbelievable but it happened with the lead singer for MercyMe and the song I can only imagine was inspired by his dad. His dad used to be physically and mentally abusive until he found Christ and he became a better dad until he died from cancer. You never know what can happen when God is involved.
Oh i think so to. Hopefully they will keep their old views to themself and actually work to better themselfs. Also not try anything shady with OPs family. I can imagine OPs wife or son being told crap when OPs not their to hear anything. But, hopefully we are wrong.
Agreed: this guy is a fool. 1. The family is still racist, and greedy, 2. They couldn't even give the courtesy of an apology - but they sure as hell had no issues demanding money from the person they disowned. 3. They flat out admitted the only reason they called was about the money; if OP didn't have money, does anyone here think that the family would have contacted OP to apologize, or ask about OP's family?
@@PriestApostate Once the parents become comfortable (feeling secure with him) their facade will slip. There will be issues of race come up and you can bet good money this will cause another rift. Sadly, many culturally traditional parents have great difficulty in updating how they think.
agreed. my parents disowned me last year. I suspected it wouldn't last long. recently my therapist told me they talked to each other and they want me back because they are now concerned with their mortality so they want to be a family again. I understand OP's feelings. I still struggle with wanting to be with them again, but I know I will fuck my mental health up doing so, so I'm gonna keep my freedom. I feel it's still a possibility for OP here to be hurt horribly again.
As an African with so many cultural ties, I realise that OP's situation resonates with expectations parents have for us. Parents consider children as social security so they expect financial compensation for taking care and educating them. Ideally, as a child you didn't chose to be born and parents shouldn't expect anything from you but seek to support your dreams but that is a generally western thing. Its unfortunate but its the reality.
If parenting was a job, the salary would be “you pay thousands.” Another part of reality is that doing things only to be expected to be compensated in return is often going to lead to disappointment. Sadly, many parents realize this lesson by the time their children are adults and thus have the power to leave! Thankfully, the world is arbitrary by default. Cultures change and adapt. There will be healthier parent-child relationships as time passes.
As more and more people leave the cultures that promote this, and those cultures are forced to change and adapt or die out, it'll get better. As for me, those who ascribe to this old way of thinking really do not get sympathy for me, but I do feel sorry for those where there is no way out.
"generally a western thing" The problem is that these parents decided to raise their children in a western country / culture. You don't get to raise a child in America and then get angry at them for being an American. If they wanted to raise a child with those values they should have moved to one of the many countries with those values. They're freaky lucky they're getting anything at all.
@@mortisrat This. They want the benefits of living in a western country, but don't want their kids to adopt western values. See also: they want their kids to have adult responsibilities, but not adult freedoms.
Something I like about the conclusion is that the parents agreed to OP's compromise- too often you hear stories where they won't budge and just want the money, causing a fresh argument.
Truth be told, OP does not owe them anything. Even if we went by the standard established on the other side of the planet… Once you disown, everything becomes Noll and void. They are no longer your child and you are no longer their parent, so they owe you nothing.
Wow, I am going to break down the one reason OP shouldn't bankroll their retirement. Because the one thing he seems to want can't be regained, he want's his home back but that is literally impossible as they not only disowned him, but they haven't apologized Once. Furthermore OP paying for them won't get back the years where OP was sitting sad and alone because his parents refuse to accept their child is not a tool for their benefit.
yeah, the father apologised but because OP asked him to ... they disowned him and said "don't come brack crawlling for help when you'll be poor" well ... karma seems to be a bitch put OP is kind (maybe too much)
Good story, well read. I'm glad OP is doing it for himself, and not out of any sense of guilt/false obligation. I think that's what I would have done with my mother (although she never disowned me, lol), had she ever let me know her own poor finances. OP is handling his parents' financial situation very responsibly, and not sacrificing the good of his own family.
Here's a idea the crappy parents sell their house, and move into a small one bedroom apartment. They can budget the money from the sell of the house to live on.
I'm thinking about what happened in Cambodia. All those people, entire families, friends, etc. All of them, wiped out of existence in the most Orwellian nightmare one could imagine. I cannot imagine a survivor pulling the "I will disown you" card. Sorry, I'm rambling. I hope you get the point.
Yes. It really is superficial and narcissistic. Must have been something deeply rooted in their culture and their own upbringing to think the sons have to be their financial retirement fund and not their own people with dreams and wishes while at the same time think they should have the right to rob them from a balanced childhood. Good thing OP seemed to have turned out alright without major mental issues.
TLDR: Guy got disowned for choosing a different career than his parents wanted, they came back “to reconcile” then begged for money and to buy them a house because “OP owed them for raising him for 23 years” but never asked about his wife or child (cos the dad’s a racist asshole), OP ends up caving and giving them money in the end even after finding out they lost all their savings gambling (they claim this was allegedly because of their disowning OP btw). Shoulda named this one “the disowned jellyfish” 😒😒😒 Love ya LG 💙🐱💙
This story touch me to the core as I'm also a child survivor of Cambodian war. My mother and family is much the same. My wife and I are disconnected from the rest of the family due to this bs issues. I wouldn't force my children like my parent.
So let me get this straight. Somehow, gambling all their money away still ended up being OPs fault? Like... how do you tell someone their parents gambled away all of their money because they disowned you. Bruh. Made it clear they came back FOR money. I would NOT have done it at all. That's a subliminal guilt trip right there. It's basically saying "if you had just listened and became a doctor like we said instead of running off to teach, we wouldn't have had to disown you and we would still have money because we wouldn't have gambled it away to cope with our ain'tshitness as parents. So, you should repay us for raising you and making us lose all this money."
My parents did not disown me. That being said, they also did not support my chosen career path. So, I got nothing. My dad died in 1990. My mom lived long enough to apologize to me and say she was wrong. That being said, it was far too late for me to take advantage of any support she might have given me. The time for her to give me support was about 20 years before that. So back in 1980. Now, it's not entirely on them. I made bad choices myself. Still, with a little emotional support from them I might have made different choices. Instead, they said I was wasting my time, and would never amount to anything. That is pretty much what I remember them telling me from the time I was 4 years old. So, here is what I really want to say - Pay attention to your children. If they want to explore something, don't tell them it's a waste of time. Maybe it will be, but let them figure it out.
Parents honestly wanted me to become a professor or something business management related. But they knew better than to force my sister and I because they also grew up being forced to take up majors they didn't like because they had no choice. Parents should not live through their kids vicariously nor should they expect their children to be exactly like them. It's also not bad to show gratitude to your parents. But there is a MAJOR difference between showing gratitude and what OP's parents are doing. My parents weren't perfect but they did and still do all they can for me. That's why I try to repay them as much as I can. But I do that willingly and I was NOT forced! My parents didn't hold anything over my head. But it should be, children don't owe parents anything. I say this as a parent myself! I will never expect my son to foot my bills.
I'm curious, did Op's parents ask to meet their daughter-in-law and/or grandson? Because if they didn't show interest, then they really aren't into repairing the family, they're only interested in how much they can shake down Op.
I'm wondering how extensively the OP's parents took care of his paternal grandparents, since that is the implied obligation. Were they expected to cover all their expenses, provide them with carers and housing, while working so hard to raise their own kids? I get that this is a cultural expectation but it normally involves a multi-generational household where parents move in with their children and still contribute to the upkeep of the house and help with care of grandchildren, right? This expectation of living separately with carers and never working even the least bit again seems to be way beyond the cultural expectation.
Coming from a culture that thinks the same way, not Asian but there are a lot of cultures that think the same, I understand, but no one should just have kids just to be taken care in their old age.
Ikr, the changes of traditional living is dying out. I am native traditional so we take care of our elders, we all are involved, not just one individual. Tho' it can be hard to adapt or even change traditional thinking for the future there are ways of waiting until the time is right, that's learning patience also. We natives have had it hard to keep existing in 2 world's, it isn't impossible just harder.
Thing is if they never had kids or simply stopped after their daughter they could have lived well. Paying for a child to go to school in America is pretty expensive. They could have used all that money to live well if they only had their daughter or no kids at all. But of course if they did that then they couldn't use their son as a walking talking ATM. In short, they gambled on a good life and lost their money (and son).
They didn't disown him because they thought he was throwing away him future. They disowned him because they thought he was throwing away their retirement. They didn't do it because they "didn't want to see me ruin myself". They did it because 1- they thought it would shock him out of the decision and 2- they didn't want to give parental support if they didn't think it would benefit them Edit: I'm not too mad at how it ended. It was pretty chill and the parents actually sounded kinda reasonable, if that makes sense. When OP gave them the compromise, they didn't argue. They didn't act entitled to everything they wanted. They accepted the help offered without complaining so that's pretty refreshing. The whole "you owe us for your upbringing" thing still stinks but it's feeling less like them treating OP like a retirement fund now and more like they know to not to question what he decides to give
OP's a lot nicer than I am. I would've left them to their own devices. You disowned me and you gambled your money away. You made your bed, time to lie in it.
These parents are awful in several ways. They never loved him, he was always just a retirement plan, threw him away like garbage, and then dispassionately ask him to still pay like nothing happened. They are garbage people I don't care about the excuses of the culture
Having worked in the casino business for 20+ years, I know a lot of Cambodians and have heard the many stories of entire families being massacred back in the day. Very heartbreaking. I hope the OP's parents can refrain from gambling and build their finances back up. Good luck to that family.
OP did what I would have advised: Do help them, but on your terms. But the execution was much better than anything that I could have come up with. Congratulations.
The nerve of these parents. They disowned OP, he has no parents. Now they come back with hand out begging for money? Pathetic! OP is either a doormat, or a much better person than I. I'm glad he didn't just throw money at them. But I have a hard time seeing all this help as anything other than a complete waste of OP's time. Hopefully things don't go south. OP should also make as a condition of his help, that his parents get help for the gambling addiction.
Doormat? Since being good means you defend yourself? What is wrong with people who think that kind people should suffer? Why? Are you okay? being kind means DEFENDING YOURSELF, defending WHAT MATTERS!
@@cosmicreef5858 You're not making any sense. I don't think kind people should suffer. But they will suffer so long as they choose to keep abusers and toxic people in their lives. It's up to them to choose differently.
OP should ask himself, if he had kids, would he expect them to pay him back for everything he will invest in them, even though it would his choice to have kids? His answer is how he should proceed....
I’ll be honest I’m disappointed in OP after all that he decides to pay for them? I get forgive and forget, he should’ve just forgiven them and never pay for them
To be fair, he only agreed to make sure they won't be homeless and helpless in retirement. And, he did it for himself do his own moral code not because they demanded it.
My parents are similar to OP's parents and I'm gonna admit I'm very disappointed myself, I would never do what he did because it's the parents job to take care of themselves. They're so toxic and he grew up in a toxic environment so it influenced his mindset, so he just feels obliged to help them. It's sad. It's because of families like this why toxic parents still exist in this world. The quicker we stop giving into those demands the faster these cycles will fade out, but not everyone has the strength to go against it because it means losing your "family" (even though they don't have your best wishes in mind).
I hate parents who think their kids owe them for raising them. I love different cultures, but this kind of abusive thinking is so deeply ingrained in so many cultures when it only hurts people, I can only tell OP that he doesn't owe his parents nothing, it's wrong to disown you then expect you to take care of them
Wow, OP is one heck of a graceful person and leader. He managed to stick to his own ethical views, get the whole family on the same page, find a solution that was a compromise for all involved, and put past hateful behaviour into the background. As someone who has an estranged parent, I've never been able to find this path. Commendable.
OP is a far better person than I will ever be. I would have told my parents to pound sand and never contact me again. He took a high road that I would have been unable to travel.
OP's parents didn't let him learn to ride a bike or visit friends?! Did he have *any* life outside of studying? This doesn't sound like parenting to me. *At all.*
I love how horrible family members disown people, until the disowned becomes very wealthy and then they conveniently forget about it and demand their money... And I hate even more spineless people that forgive them and cave to their demands, regardless of how they do it...
People are so quick to cut family out. Its better to try to seek forgivenes than to stew in that bitterness. Besides, its hard to stop caring about your parents
Me too. I take care of my retired mother and I renovated her house. That is what is expected. FYI, she opposes my choice in career and I had a pretty stressful time in university because of it. Still, I am an African so 🤷
@@SuperTammy66 It would have been different if they approached him out of pure selfishness. But since they did display a certain level of remorse and willingness to move forward, I think that it's possible for them to have a healthy future relationship.
Honestly, what a beautiful soul that OP is! Most people would not able to forgive on such a level! Not helping would have been perfectly in his right but it really is a big expectation in Asian families (thankfully my parents were careful for themselves) but I bet he chose a path that allows him to sleep better at night and be proud of his decisions and that's what matters most. Good for you OP!
"Whether they disowned you or not, they are still your parents". Nope. They are not. That's the point of disownment. They no longer acknowledged him as their son. This means he won't be entitled to any inheritance when they die, but it ALSO means they aren't entitled to his care or finances. They relinquished that right and he shouldn't let them go back on it when it suits them.
As someone who had the same epiphany but lacked the bravery to stand-up to my parents and actually became a doctor, well done OP 👏. Trust me when i say you made the RIGHT choice.
I can’t be the only one who’s skeptical about this whole situation. OP’s too much of a softie, maybe even a doormat. Hope this decision doesn’t bit him back in the ass. Should’ve left those 2 decrepid excuses of parents in the streets where they belong. Or at the very least a nursing home far, far away from OP.
Not so sure you can call him a doormat. OP is helping out his parents, but not in the way they initially requested. OP set up limits on what he was willing to do. To me this shows that OP is not a doormat but does have some identity issues not uncommon with the US raised children of immigrants. The cultural & societal differences are real.
OP's parents paid for his college. Most white parents don't do that and their kids get deep into debt. The other fact is kids have always been the parents' retirement plan since time immemorial. It is only in the West where government took the role through programs such as Medicare and Social Security that people think the kids aren't. But if you think deeper, who pays for that? The kids of course through deductions on their paycheck. OP's parents are simply honest about it. Yours aren't.
@@JamesiaInc We all have opinions. And the identity problems are real for 1st generation children of imigrants. Please keep in mind that social norms of the U.S. are not the standard around the world.
While they weren't too ridiculous or demanding in the end OP was still an investment fund to them. I didn't believe for a single second the "I feared you would end up in debt as a teacher". And it's a mystery if the mother really wants a relationship with the wife or it's a ruse. Well, at least the sister is helping.
I hope OP takes it very slowly and am glad he's helping them manage their money. I however, would've refused. You don't disown me then get to benefit from me
Let's at least give props to OP's dad. He owned up to his mistake, and became honest to his son. Being accountable to your own actions can be really hard to some people, but he did it honestly. That's very hard for Asian person, most especially if their upbringing is very conservatie, yknow.
@ 8:06 My parents never disowned me. My dad thought I had abandoned him. I had offered him help, and instead, he chose death. I offered my mom and my step dad. It never came to that. I had a place for them, but they died before it ever came to that. They said they wanted to remain independent for as long as possible, which is a decision I respected. Still, the offer was there if needed, and they both said they appreciated that I was willing to do that. They never said it was my responsibility, and they never took me up on the offer. Still, I wish they had taken me up on it. I still feel like I failed somehow even though I know I didn't .
Yay top 30 comments lol. I love LG his voice is soothing and I love the commentary lol and when in some videos he just can't stop laughing lol him and Mr ballens are my favorite but LG is by far The best reddit story Teller! Love from Texas
I am an American and I have been raised my whole life to sacrifice for family. If I have it and they need it then it was rediciculos if I didn't give it.. I was told repeatedly not to embarrass my family and I was pushed. My dad use to always say you can't be as good as the next person you have to be better. My family is completely American.
Yeah, from 18 years of childcare? It's one thing if they treated him badly but he turned out just fine with their support up until they argued with him about him wanting to take a crappy path, teaching English anywhere is 99% a crappy life choice regardless of how people want to debate it. You might be happy doing it but you'd be doing it the rest of your life since it pays barely anything, this goes especially for teaching English abroad, since the draw is the living abroad and people end up putting up with pay that's usually barely enough to be livable. There wasn't anything here that represented any type of distrust, hate, or abuse in his life, they just didn't want him to make a real mistake.
How old are these parents -- are they in their 60s? 70s? That's no age these days. "Disowning" cuts both ways. On the other hand, they did support you for many years. Just make sure they have the basics of life (they do) and keep tabs on them, and that's all.
OP you did work hard for your money too... Going to school to study and being like "Oh yeah I could be a doctor no problem but I wanna be a teacher isntead" Not everyone has that, most only have "Ok, either I am at the register or I become a hairdresser..." Never take study lightly!
Parents, pay attention. When you disown a child, they are completely cut off, FOREVER. That means they inherit nothing from their parents, and the parents get nothing from the child. It's total No Contact all the way round.
First story makes me feel that my family only sees me as a paycheck. To wipe the slate clean…I’d ask them what they feel the cost of raising me is and pay them back by providing an occasional cleaner over the period of 23 years! Or they can improve their relationship with my family… if not then I’d happily wipe my slate clean of them!
Thank you LG as always ❤️ Something that set off major red flags for me was "you better be grateful because we pay for things and there are other kids that are abused"... Talk about manipulative abuse!!! That's bad, dawg. Jesus christ
Im sorry but OP sounded SO BRAINWASHED!!! like, it's was honestly heartbreaking to me hearing him basically say "you guys are right my parents suck, but FaMiLy!!!"... I'm not gonna blame him for his decision, but man idk how to explain it but I just feel so sad hearing this post
Dude, at the end of the day, it's not that black and white. It's just a post on reddit, but we don't actually KNOW these people. We don't know their history or their way of thinking. Plus, the dad actually admitted to fucking up and letting pride get in the way, that's a HUGE deal. Note that I'm not explicitly condoning what the parents did, just that their actions should be taken as a representation of who they were in the moment and not their overall character. Sure, wanting op to be a doctor is a part of their overall character, but disowning him is not (It's a choice made in the heat of the moment.)
My stupid parents put me under a blinding amount of pressure, and I failed. They tried to control the course of my life and relive all of their failed hopes and dreams through me, yet my older sisters could do no wrong. They ruined me. I live a crappy, miserable life as a result. I’d kill myself, but I don’t want to haunt my own residence. What really makes me mad is that they constantly indulge my horrible older sister, who is semi employed, has a husband and a kid that she can’t afford, along with several pets, and we had to spend a fortune to get her out of a dangerous foreign country where she lived/worked as an expat and yet still has nothing to show for it (despite room and board being covered). At least they are seeing the error of their way with her, too little too late. The OP is weak, and a coward. He owes his parents nothing, and should cut that rotten branch from his family tree.
OP needs to watch the original Spencer Tracy/Katherine Hepburn movie "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner." There is a WONDERFUL scene in there, where a father tries to tell his adult son that the son has to do what HE says, because they raised him, and he owes them. The adult son says, "You did what you were SUPPOSED to do, when you CHOSE to bring me into this world. As a parent, YOU OWE ME! I do NOT owe you for doing what you were SUPPOSED to do when you chose the responsibility of parenthood. And when I have a child, I WILL OWE HIM." Or words to that effect. If the parents had treated him well and kindly, I'd say give them another chance, but they treated him like trash, and never let him BE HIMSELF, and just DEMANDED that he be a cash cow for them. And then, when they come back, they don't even APOLOGIZE. They just made more demands. Oh, they couched it as a request, but it was a demand. If he says "No," they will cut him out of their lives again, and badmouth him to everyone they know as a bad son. All because he wanted to follow his own heart. But all they cared about was the money. And the irony is that he made his fortune, anyway. Now he is doing what he loves, AND he has the money to take care of them, if he wants to. They could have supported him, all this time, and told him to be happy, but nope! THAT. is what clinches it for me. He owes them nothing, and should give them nothing. At least, not now. IF they apologize later, then he can reconsider, but as long as they are still just looking at a him as a big old dollar sign, he should disown THEM. They were BAD PARENTS.
My husband is Korean, and is the first born son of the first born son, as well as the only boy in his generation. His family is exactly like this, however, because he is the first born and only son, they don't dare try to disown him, and he has used that when they tried to disown his sisters and female cousin for making their own decisions that the family hated by threatening to disown THEM. They have warmed up with his decisions over the years, but it was horrible for the first several. They absolutely lost their shit when he married me, a white, American girl as well. Blame me for "polluting" their family tree. His mother is an absolute sweetheart to me, however.
1. They should have an estate. If they want you to help, you should be able to see their Financials. I'd be concerned that they want to spend your money and save theirs.
Story 1: You are owed an apology and the FULL acceptance of not only the life you chose, but complete and total acceptance of your wife as well as your son. Only THEN have they a right to ask retirement of you. IF you wish to be that generous. I think they're asking a lot for the retirement as well. A nice apartment in a retirement setting and living assistance paid for if required is more than enough to be asking from a child that you loved completely and didn't treat as a meal ticket!
I think with the stairs issue it may be a good idea to look into selling the larger house and buying the parents a small cottage. Easier to take care of now and with the son looking after their finances they should have a little nest egg for emergencies.
I have 3 children and would never expect any money from them. We are on a small income (3 days a week and my husband has an irreversible spinal cord injury so doesn’t work), but I would never ask them for money. It’s their money, not mine…..but then again, I’m from the UK and white British so it’s probably a completely different ball game in other countries.
It drives me crazy that people think there's a take-back for abandonment. The second you say you've disowned someone, you're dead to them. You're willing to throw a whole person and their wellbeing away for the sake of money. I pity OP, no doubt his parents will continue trying to manipulate him and use him like an ATM until they eventually croak. It's what bad people do.
What I hate is when stupid people justify this sort of “puppet string parenting” with the overused, inaccurate, threadbare excuses such as “ThEy LoVe YoU aNd JuSt WaNt WhAt’S bEsT fOr YoU!” No. Just no. They are narcissistic, selfish, evil, swine who are trying to live their failed hopes and dreams through their kids, or worse, want to retire early and live off of the success of their kids.
It still surprises me how different cultures rely on their children thru out their life, especially in older age. Thanx 4 all the hard work u put in2 ur videos. U go above & beyond each & every time. Hopefully u can get 2 100k subs really soon. 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
First 18 years of childcare: you baked it, you bought it. Taking care of the kid is exactly what you signed up for. The kid doesn't owe you for making your own choices and fulfilling obligations you chose to take on. College years: You never gave the kid a chance to explore his interests and took control of the path he'd follow. You chose to take that control and invest money in keeping it. The thoroughly manipulated offspring who never even got a proper childhood because of your control of him goes along with it. He owes you nothing. Kid finally breaks free of you, finds his own interests, and you disown him. Kid owes you nothing, save maybe for 23 years worth of screaming at you for being entitled control freaks.
Story one. If OPs parents are so interested in payback he should give it to them. He should say since he was disowned for seven years now it’s their turn to be disowned for seven years. Tell them that they can all sit down together again in 2029.
Op should have stayed away. Once you are disowned, you have no right to go back to them. Even if they are begging for money. The only thing you can do is forgive them, but move on. Even if these parents take back their "disown" moment, it's time to step in with a lawyer and lay out the ground terms of how things are going to go financial wise and document it it all. This puts the disowned child in full control of what he wants of his parents. Hopefully OP will regret his decision and steps away again.
I absolutely despise parents who rob their kids of their childhood, then expecting them to pay for everything in their lives once their kid graduates. That is NOT why you have kids.
Exactly.
In undeveloped countries that's exactly why they have kids.
There's no social safety nets and children(particularly males) end up enslaved to their parents.
Those are the types of people who don't call their children their children, but their investments.
I thought the agreement was that no-one was going to go crawling back to the other when they were poor and unhappy?
Yeah, that kind of "one rule for everyone" kind of ruined my relationship with my parents.
I like when children stiff them for robbing their childhoods.
Amazing that the parents disowned OP for choosing a career that made him happy, meanwhile they wasted their money gambling and were too proud to ask their daughter for help despite her being in a position to do so. Sometimes it's better, if not easier, to swallow your pride and admit you were wrong. Then at least you don't look like a proud hypocrite.
Well i said it again, if you're disown and they suddenly want you back is for one of the following reasons :
They need money
They need place to live
If you have kid they want to meet with their grandchildren
They need organ donor
They tried to save face/reputation
Etc etc.
I agree. But sometimes it might be something else entirely. That they’ve found Jesus and want to repair what’s been done. It might seem unbelievable but it happened with the lead singer for MercyMe and the song I can only imagine was inspired by his dad. His dad used to be physically and mentally abusive until he found Christ and he became a better dad until he died from cancer. You never know what can happen when God is involved.
And not a single apology issued.
I'm willing to bet, had OP just forgiven them but not given them money, the mask would've slipped off both parents.
Oh i think so to. Hopefully they will keep their old views to themself and actually work to better themselfs. Also not try anything shady with OPs family. I can imagine OPs wife or son being told crap when OPs not their to hear anything. But, hopefully we are wrong.
Agreed: this guy is a fool.
1. The family is still racist, and greedy,
2. They couldn't even give the courtesy of an apology - but they sure as hell had no issues demanding money from the person they disowned.
3. They flat out admitted the only reason they called was about the money; if OP didn't have money, does anyone here think that the family would have contacted OP to apologize, or ask about OP's family?
@@PriestApostate Once the parents become comfortable (feeling secure with him) their facade will slip. There will be issues of race come up and you can bet good money this will cause another rift. Sadly, many culturally traditional parents have great difficulty in updating how they think.
In a heartbeat!
agreed. my parents disowned me last year. I suspected it wouldn't last long. recently my therapist told me they talked to each other and they want me back because they are now concerned with their mortality so they want to be a family again. I understand OP's feelings. I still struggle with wanting to be with them again, but I know I will fuck my mental health up doing so, so I'm gonna keep my freedom.
I feel it's still a possibility for OP here to be hurt horribly again.
As an African with so many cultural ties, I realise that OP's situation resonates with expectations parents have for us. Parents consider children as social security so they expect financial compensation for taking care and educating them. Ideally, as a child you didn't chose to be born and parents shouldn't expect anything from you but seek to support your dreams but that is a generally western thing. Its unfortunate but its the reality.
If parenting was a job, the salary would be “you pay thousands.” Another part of reality is that doing things only to be expected to be compensated in return is often going to lead to disappointment. Sadly, many parents realize this lesson by the time their children are adults and thus have the power to leave!
Thankfully, the world is arbitrary by default. Cultures change and adapt. There will be healthier parent-child relationships as time passes.
As more and more people leave the cultures that promote this, and those cultures are forced to change and adapt or die out, it'll get better. As for me, those who ascribe to this old way of thinking really do not get sympathy for me, but I do feel sorry for those where there is no way out.
@@joemomma2189 Personally I plan to not be this kind of parent that being said, those strings are hard to cut with the older generations.
"generally a western thing"
The problem is that these parents decided to raise their children in a western country / culture. You don't get to raise a child in America and then get angry at them for being an American. If they wanted to raise a child with those values they should have moved to one of the many countries with those values. They're freaky lucky they're getting anything at all.
@@mortisrat This. They want the benefits of living in a western country, but don't want their kids to adopt western values. See also: they want their kids to have adult responsibilities, but not adult freedoms.
Something I like about the conclusion is that the parents agreed to OP's compromise- too often you hear stories where they won't budge and just want the money, causing a fresh argument.
Truth be told, OP does not owe them anything. Even if we went by the standard established on the other side of the planet… Once you disown, everything becomes Noll and void. They are no longer your child and you are no longer their parent, so they owe you nothing.
I remenber one thing I read and will repeat: if you decide to disown someone, expect to be disowned back
Favourtism leads to your fall remember that parents
Understood.
"Why you no doctor yet??"
"Sigh...I'm only 13, dad"
"Talk to me when you doctor!"
*Slams bedroom door*
Dad me doctor now!
Okay son!
No dad I am YOUR DOCTOR.
Got bad news pops!
Love the reference.
@@mateo335 I'm glad someone got it
@@WERNUTZ haha love it.
😂😂😂
Wow, I am going to break down the one reason OP shouldn't bankroll their retirement. Because the one thing he seems to want can't be regained, he want's his home back but that is literally impossible as they not only disowned him, but they haven't apologized Once. Furthermore OP paying for them won't get back the years where OP was sitting sad and alone because his parents refuse to accept their child is not a tool for their benefit.
yeah, the father apologised but because OP asked him to ...
they disowned him and said "don't come brack crawlling for help when you'll be poor" well ... karma seems to be a bitch put OP is kind (maybe too much)
Oh, these are good points! Yeah, OP's parents are very entitled and it seems that they're lucky their kids are a bunch of peacemaker types.
Good story, well read. I'm glad OP is doing it for himself, and not out of any sense of guilt/false obligation. I think that's what I would have done with my mother (although she never disowned me, lol), had she ever let me know her own poor finances. OP is handling his parents' financial situation very responsibly, and not sacrificing the good of his own family.
Nah he’s a doormat
And he's approaching the matter on his own terms. He told them his boundaries, and they consented and agreed to all of them.
He's the definition of a doormat... Anyone praising his decision are as bad as his parents...
Here's a idea the crappy parents sell their house, and move into a small one bedroom apartment. They can budget the money from the sell of the house to live on.
They disowned you, that's voids any indebtment you have to them.
That was a wholesome ending. Glad they worked things out and came to a compromise.
I'm thinking about what happened in Cambodia. All those people, entire families, friends, etc. All of them, wiped out of existence in the most Orwellian nightmare one could imagine. I cannot imagine a survivor pulling the "I will disown you" card. Sorry, I'm rambling. I hope you get the point.
Yes. It really is superficial and narcissistic. Must have been something deeply rooted in their culture and their own upbringing to think the sons have to be their financial retirement fund and not their own people with dreams and wishes while at the same time think they should have the right to rob them from a balanced childhood. Good thing OP seemed to have turned out alright without major mental issues.
Winnie Smith So true!
It is pretty cool that OP found his passion for teaching and he still using his degree.
TLDR: Guy got disowned for choosing a different career than his parents wanted, they came back “to reconcile” then begged for money and to buy them a house because “OP owed them for raising him for 23 years” but never asked about his wife or child (cos the dad’s a racist asshole), OP ends up caving and giving them money in the end even after finding out they lost all their savings gambling (they claim this was allegedly because of their disowning OP btw). Shoulda named this one “the disowned jellyfish” 😒😒😒
Love ya LG 💙🐱💙
This story touch me to the core as I'm also a child survivor of Cambodian war. My mother and family is much the same.
My wife and I are disconnected from the rest of the family due to this bs issues. I wouldn't force my children like my parent.
I am sorry you had to go through that. 🥀
I'm sorry you went through that. No one should.
Glad my parents was proud and supported themselves. Never held over my head about paying for me while I was a minor.
So let me get this straight. Somehow, gambling all their money away still ended up being OPs fault? Like... how do you tell someone their parents gambled away all of their money because they disowned you. Bruh. Made it clear they came back FOR money. I would NOT have done it at all. That's a subliminal guilt trip right there.
It's basically saying "if you had just listened and became a doctor like we said instead of running off to teach, we wouldn't have had to disown you and we would still have money because we wouldn't have gambled it away to cope with our ain'tshitness as parents. So, you should repay us for raising you and making us lose all this money."
Once someone disown their child/parent they become strangers. At this point his parents could have asked anybody on the street to buy them a house.
My parents did not disown me. That being said, they also did not support my chosen career path. So, I got nothing. My dad died in 1990. My mom lived long enough to apologize to me and say she was wrong. That being said, it was far too late for me to take advantage of any support she might have given me. The time for her to give me support was about 20 years before that. So back in 1980. Now, it's not entirely on them. I made bad choices myself. Still, with a little emotional support from them I might have made different choices. Instead, they said I was wasting my time, and would never amount to anything. That is pretty much what I remember them telling me from the time I was 4 years old.
So, here is what I really want to say - Pay attention to your children. If they want to explore something, don't tell them it's a waste of time. Maybe it will be, but let them figure it out.
Parents honestly wanted me to become a professor or something business management related. But they knew better than to force my sister and I because they also grew up being forced to take up majors they didn't like because they had no choice.
Parents should not live through their kids vicariously nor should they expect their children to be exactly like them.
It's also not bad to show gratitude to your parents. But there is a MAJOR difference between showing gratitude and what OP's parents are doing. My parents weren't perfect but they did and still do all they can for me. That's why I try to repay them as much as I can. But I do that willingly and I was NOT forced! My parents didn't hold anything over my head. But it should be, children don't owe parents anything. I say this as a parent myself! I will never expect my son to foot my bills.
I'm curious, did Op's parents ask to meet their daughter-in-law and/or grandson? Because if they didn't show interest, then they really aren't into repairing the family, they're only interested in how much they can shake down Op.
I'm wondering how extensively the OP's parents took care of his paternal grandparents, since that is the implied obligation. Were they expected to cover all their expenses, provide them with carers and housing, while working so hard to raise their own kids? I get that this is a cultural expectation but it normally involves a multi-generational household where parents move in with their children and still contribute to the upkeep of the house and help with care of grandchildren, right? This expectation of living separately with carers and never working even the least bit again seems to be way beyond the cultural expectation.
They probably died in the Khmer Rouge
@@kawaiiesha3247 fair point
OP is way too good for his parents
Coming from a culture that thinks the same way, not Asian but there are a lot of cultures that think the same, I understand, but no one should just have kids just to be taken care in their old age.
Ikr, the changes of traditional living is dying out. I am native traditional so we take care of our elders, we all are involved, not just one individual. Tho' it can be hard to adapt or even change traditional thinking for the future there are ways of waiting until the time is right, that's learning patience also. We natives have had it hard to keep existing in 2 world's, it isn't impossible just harder.
Thing is if they never had kids or simply stopped after their daughter they could have lived well.
Paying for a child to go to school in America is pretty expensive.
They could have used all that money to live well if they only had their daughter or no kids at all.
But of course if they did that then they couldn't use their son as a walking talking ATM.
In short, they gambled on a good life and lost their money (and son).
They didn't disown him because they thought he was throwing away him future. They disowned him because they thought he was throwing away their retirement. They didn't do it because they "didn't want to see me ruin myself". They did it because 1- they thought it would shock him out of the decision and 2- they didn't want to give parental support if they didn't think it would benefit them
Edit: I'm not too mad at how it ended. It was pretty chill and the parents actually sounded kinda reasonable, if that makes sense. When OP gave them the compromise, they didn't argue. They didn't act entitled to everything they wanted. They accepted the help offered without complaining so that's pretty refreshing. The whole "you owe us for your upbringing" thing still stinks but it's feeling less like them treating OP like a retirement fund now and more like they know to not to question what he decides to give
OP's a lot nicer than I am. I would've left them to their own devices. You disowned me and you gambled your money away. You made your bed, time to lie in it.
by "a lot nicer" I think of "not a doormat"
These parents are awful in several ways. They never loved him, he was always just a retirement plan, threw him away like garbage, and then dispassionately ask him to still pay like nothing happened. They are garbage people I don't care about the excuses of the culture
Amen
Having worked in the casino business for 20+ years, I know a lot of Cambodians and have heard the many stories of entire families being massacred back in the day. Very heartbreaking. I hope the OP's parents can refrain from gambling and build their finances back up. Good luck to that family.
This turned out well. I am happy for OP.
OP did what I would have advised: Do help them, but on your terms. But the execution was much better than anything that I could have come up with. Congratulations.
The nerve of these parents. They disowned OP, he has no parents. Now they come back with hand out begging for money? Pathetic! OP is either a doormat, or a much better person than I. I'm glad he didn't just throw money at them. But I have a hard time seeing all this help as anything other than a complete waste of OP's time. Hopefully things don't go south. OP should also make as a condition of his help, that his parents get help for the gambling addiction.
I'd add to the conditions get therapy to learn WHY forcing away from a social life was a BAD IDEA!!!! 😡😡
Doormat? Since being good means you defend yourself? What is wrong with people who think that kind people should suffer? Why? Are you okay?
being kind means DEFENDING YOURSELF, defending WHAT MATTERS!
@@cosmicreef5858 You're not making any sense. I don't think kind people should suffer. But they will suffer so long as they choose to keep abusers and toxic people in their lives. It's up to them to choose differently.
This is the most mature response I have ever seen in any Reddit post.
OP should ask himself, if he had kids, would he expect them to pay him back for everything he will invest in them, even though it would his choice to have kids? His answer is how he should proceed....
I’ll be honest I’m disappointed in OP after all that he decides to pay for them?
I get forgive and forget, he should’ve just forgiven them and never pay for them
Family ties are complicated especially for non-western cultures.
To be fair, he only agreed to make sure they won't be homeless and helpless in retirement. And, he did it for himself do his own moral code not because they demanded it.
My parents are similar to OP's parents and I'm gonna admit I'm very disappointed myself, I would never do what he did because it's the parents job to take care of themselves. They're so toxic and he grew up in a toxic environment so it influenced his mindset, so he just feels obliged to help them. It's sad. It's because of families like this why toxic parents still exist in this world. The quicker we stop giving into those demands the faster these cycles will fade out, but not everyone has the strength to go against it because it means losing your "family" (even though they don't have your best wishes in mind).
@@anahkit that sums how I feel about this thanks I couldn’t put the words to describe how I feel thanks
@@OmegaII : Agreed.
I would have told him that of he couldn't accept help from sister/a woman, he doesn't really need it that bad...
I hate parents who think their kids owe them for raising them. I love different cultures, but this kind of abusive thinking is so deeply ingrained in so many cultures when it only hurts people, I can only tell OP that he doesn't owe his parents nothing, it's wrong to disown you then expect you to take care of them
Wow, OP is one heck of a graceful person and leader. He managed to stick to his own ethical views, get the whole family on the same page, find a solution that was a compromise for all involved, and put past hateful behaviour into the background. As someone who has an estranged parent, I've never been able to find this path. Commendable.
OP has an awesome wife, who fully understands and supports him.
OP is a far better person than I will ever be. I would have told my parents to pound sand and never contact me again. He took a high road that I would have been unable to travel.
That was unexpectedly wholesome.
OP's parents didn't let him learn to ride a bike or visit friends?! Did he have *any* life outside of studying? This doesn't sound like parenting to me. *At all.*
I love how horrible family members disown people, until the disowned becomes very wealthy and then they conveniently forget about it and demand their money... And I hate even more spineless people that forgive them and cave to their demands, regardless of how they do it...
Tyvm LG.. Stay safe please. PEACE
I feel like I would have done the same in OPs shoes
People are so quick to cut family out. Its better to try to seek forgivenes than to stew in that bitterness. Besides, its hard to stop caring about your parents
Me too. I take care of my retired mother and I renovated her house. That is what is expected. FYI, she opposes my choice in career and I had a pretty stressful time in university because of it. Still, I am an African so 🤷
@@SuperTammy66
It would have been different if they approached him out of pure selfishness. But since they did display a certain level of remorse and willingness to move forward, I think that it's possible for them to have a healthy future relationship.
Honestly, what a beautiful soul that OP is! Most people would not able to forgive on such a level! Not helping would have been perfectly in his right but it really is a big expectation in Asian families (thankfully my parents were careful for themselves) but I bet he chose a path that allows him to sleep better at night and be proud of his decisions and that's what matters most. Good for you OP!
"Whether they disowned you or not, they are still your parents". Nope. They are not. That's the point of disownment. They no longer acknowledged him as their son. This means he won't be entitled to any inheritance when they die, but it ALSO means they aren't entitled to his care or finances. They relinquished that right and he shouldn't let them go back on it when it suits them.
Lol the Rouge missed some real stinkers
Ok, paying back for raising OP?
Walking ATM? No, OP
As someone who had the same epiphany but lacked the bravery to stand-up to my parents and actually became a doctor, well done OP 👏. Trust me when i say you made the RIGHT choice.
I can’t be the only one who’s skeptical about this whole situation. OP’s too much of a softie, maybe even a doormat. Hope this decision doesn’t bit him back in the ass. Should’ve left those 2 decrepid excuses of parents in the streets where they belong. Or at the very least a nursing home far, far away from OP.
Not so sure you can call him a doormat. OP is helping out his parents, but not in the way they initially requested. OP set up limits on what he was willing to do. To me this shows that OP is not a doormat but does have some identity issues not uncommon with the US raised children of immigrants. The cultural & societal differences are real.
OP's parents paid for his college. Most white parents don't do that and their kids get deep into debt.
The other fact is kids have always been the parents' retirement plan since time immemorial. It is only in the West where government took the role through programs such as Medicare and Social Security that people think the kids aren't. But if you think deeper, who pays for that? The kids of course through deductions on their paycheck.
OP's parents are simply honest about it. Yours aren't.
@@JamesiaInc We all have opinions. And the identity problems are real for 1st generation children of imigrants. Please keep in mind that social norms of the U.S. are not the standard around the world.
Why move the house around? Get them an Acorn StairMaster.
While they weren't too ridiculous or demanding in the end OP was still an investment fund to them. I didn't believe for a single second the "I feared you would end up in debt as a teacher". And it's a mystery if the mother really wants a relationship with the wife or it's a ruse.
Well, at least the sister is helping.
"You doctor yet?"
"No Dad, I'm twelve"
"Talk to me when you doctor"
Omg yaaaassss I need something to listen to while I clean
I hope OP takes it very slowly and am glad he's helping them manage their money. I however, would've refused.
You don't disown me then get to benefit from me
Let's at least give props to OP's dad. He owned up to his mistake, and became honest to his son. Being accountable to your own actions can be really hard to some people, but he did it honestly. That's very hard for Asian person, most especially if their upbringing is very conservatie, yknow.
Ugh, op was so upsetting,it's not even helping each other. Op just giving up and barely getting any apologies for what his parents did to him.
@ 8:06 My parents never disowned me. My dad thought I had abandoned him. I had offered him help, and instead, he chose death. I offered my mom and my step dad. It never came to that. I had a place for them, but they died before it ever came to that. They said they wanted to remain independent for as long as possible, which is a decision I respected. Still, the offer was there if needed, and they both said they appreciated that I was willing to do that. They never said it was my responsibility, and they never took me up on the offer. Still, I wish they had taken me up on it. I still feel like I failed somehow even though I know I didn't .
Yay top 30 comments lol. I love LG his voice is soothing and I love the commentary lol and when in some videos he just can't stop laughing lol him and Mr ballens are my favorite but LG is by far The best reddit story Teller! Love from Texas
Thank you ThatJellyNerdTextingStories :) Glad to know you enjoy my videos so much!
Story 1: They live in America now. We do things different here. Respect is earned.
I am an American and I have been raised my whole life to sacrifice for family. If I have it and they need it then it was rediciculos if I didn't give it.. I was told repeatedly not to embarrass my family and I was pushed. My dad use to always say you can't be as good as the next person you have to be better. My family is completely American.
Yeah, from 18 years of childcare? It's one thing if they treated him badly but he turned out just fine with their support up until they argued with him about him wanting to take a crappy path, teaching English anywhere is 99% a crappy life choice regardless of how people want to debate it. You might be happy doing it but you'd be doing it the rest of your life since it pays barely anything, this goes especially for teaching English abroad, since the draw is the living abroad and people end up putting up with pay that's usually barely enough to be livable. There wasn't anything here that represented any type of distrust, hate, or abuse in his life, they just didn't want him to make a real mistake.
Smart money says OP's parents are going to be riding their grandson like a rented mule to become a doctor.
The father did ZERO research on how much a translator can make. So he just ASSUMED his son would be a broke teacher. IGNORANCE
How old are these parents -- are they in their 60s? 70s? That's no age these days. "Disowning" cuts both ways. On the other hand, they did support you for many years. Just make sure they have the basics of life (they do) and keep tabs on them, and that's all.
I feel like paying them how much they spent on your college might alleviate any guilt.
.
Hello LG. Thanks for the stories. You really do a very good job reading these for us.
My pleasure Dorothy! Happy to know you enjoy my videos :)
OP you did work hard for your money too... Going to school to study and being like "Oh yeah I could be a doctor no problem but I wanna be a teacher isntead" Not everyone has that, most only have "Ok, either I am at the register or I become a hairdresser..." Never take study lightly!
"After all they did for me", they didn't do it for you OP, they did it for them.
I guess making stupid decisions runs in the family
Parents, pay attention. When you disown a child, they are completely cut off, FOREVER. That means they inherit nothing from their parents, and the parents get nothing from the child. It's total No Contact all the way round.
First story makes me feel that my family only sees me as a paycheck. To wipe the slate clean…I’d ask them what they feel the cost of raising me is and pay them back by providing an occasional cleaner over the period of 23 years! Or they can improve their relationship with my family… if not then I’d happily wipe my slate clean of them!
Thank you LG as always ❤️
Something that set off major red flags for me was "you better be grateful because we pay for things and there are other kids that are abused"... Talk about manipulative abuse!!! That's bad, dawg. Jesus christ
Im sorry but OP sounded SO BRAINWASHED!!! like, it's was honestly heartbreaking to me hearing him basically say "you guys are right my parents suck, but FaMiLy!!!"... I'm not gonna blame him for his decision, but man idk how to explain it but I just feel so sad hearing this post
Dude, at the end of the day, it's not that black and white. It's just a post on reddit, but we don't actually KNOW these people. We don't know their history or their way of thinking. Plus, the dad actually admitted to fucking up and letting pride get in the way, that's a HUGE deal. Note that I'm not explicitly condoning what the parents did, just that their actions should be taken as a representation of who they were in the moment and not their overall character. Sure, wanting op to be a doctor is a part of their overall character, but disowning him is not (It's a choice made in the heat of the moment.)
I actually commented on this and spoke with op in the DMS
My stupid parents put me under a blinding amount of pressure, and I failed. They tried to control the course of my life and relive all of their failed hopes and dreams through me, yet my older sisters could do no wrong. They ruined me. I live a crappy, miserable life as a result. I’d kill myself, but I don’t want to haunt my own residence.
What really makes me mad is that they constantly indulge my horrible older sister, who is semi employed, has a husband and a kid that she can’t afford, along with several pets, and we had to spend a fortune to get her out of a dangerous foreign country where she lived/worked as an expat and yet still has nothing to show for it (despite room and board being covered). At least they are seeing the error of their way with her, too little too late.
The OP is weak, and a coward. He owes his parents nothing, and should cut that rotten branch from his family tree.
OP and his sister are better people than their parents deserve.
OP needs to watch the original Spencer Tracy/Katherine Hepburn movie "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner."
There is a WONDERFUL scene in there, where a father tries to tell his adult son that the son has to do what HE says, because they raised him, and he owes them. The adult son says, "You did what you were SUPPOSED to do, when you CHOSE to bring me into this world. As a parent, YOU OWE ME! I do NOT owe you for doing what you were SUPPOSED to do when you chose the responsibility of parenthood. And when I have a child, I WILL OWE HIM." Or words to that effect.
If the parents had treated him well and kindly, I'd say give them another chance, but they treated him like trash, and never let him BE HIMSELF, and just DEMANDED that he be a cash cow for them. And then, when they come back, they don't even APOLOGIZE. They just made more demands. Oh, they couched it as a request, but it was a demand. If he says "No," they will cut him out of their lives again, and badmouth him to everyone they know as a bad son. All because he wanted to follow his own heart. But all they cared about was the money.
And the irony is that he made his fortune, anyway. Now he is doing what he loves, AND he has the money to take care of them, if he wants to.
They could have supported him, all this time, and told him to be happy, but nope! THAT. is what clinches it for me. He owes them nothing, and should give them nothing. At least, not now.
IF they apologize later, then he can reconsider, but as long as they are still just looking at a him as a big old dollar sign, he should disown THEM.
They were BAD PARENTS.
My husband is Korean, and is the first born son of the first born son, as well as the only boy in his generation. His family is exactly like this, however, because he is the first born and only son, they don't dare try to disown him, and he has used that when they tried to disown his sisters and female cousin for making their own decisions that the family hated by threatening to disown THEM. They have warmed up with his decisions over the years, but it was horrible for the first several. They absolutely lost their shit when he married me, a white, American girl as well. Blame me for "polluting" their family tree. His mother is an absolute sweetheart to me, however.
1. They should have an estate. If they want you to help, you should be able to see their Financials. I'd be concerned that they want to spend your money and save theirs.
So they disowned OP he owes them NOTHING at all!! Tell them to get bent
Story 1: You are owed an apology and the FULL acceptance of not only the life you chose, but complete and total acceptance of your wife as well as your son. Only THEN have they a right to ask retirement of you. IF you wish to be that generous. I think they're asking a lot for the retirement as well. A nice apartment in a retirement setting and living assistance paid for if required is more than enough to be asking from a child that you loved completely and didn't treat as a meal ticket!
Watched the update, and that was reasonable.
That guy is a saint. I would've blocked them on everything and just not responded.
I think with the stairs issue it may be a good idea to look into selling the larger house and buying the parents a small cottage. Easier to take care of now and with the son looking after their finances they should have a little nest egg for emergencies.
1. So they came back, no apologies, nothing. Forget that. Show them pamphlets of 55 and over communities.
I have 3 children and would never expect any money from them. We are on a small income (3 days a week and my husband has an irreversible spinal cord injury so doesn’t work), but I would never ask them for money. It’s their money, not mine…..but then again, I’m from the UK and white British so it’s probably a completely different ball game in other countries.
Op don't cave to your parents. You have a new family. Don't take away from your family.
I’d have laughed my ass off.
It drives me crazy that people think there's a take-back for abandonment. The second you say you've disowned someone, you're dead to them. You're willing to throw a whole person and their wellbeing away for the sake of money. I pity OP, no doubt his parents will continue trying to manipulate him and use him like an ATM until they eventually croak. It's what bad people do.
What I hate is when stupid people justify this sort of “puppet string parenting” with the overused, inaccurate, threadbare excuses such as “ThEy LoVe YoU aNd JuSt WaNt WhAt’S bEsT fOr YoU!” No. Just no.
They are narcissistic, selfish, evil, swine who are trying to live their failed hopes and dreams through their kids, or worse, want to retire early and live off of the success of their kids.
I’ve know so many parents who do this, and family is overrated.
This was a wonderful story and I'm so glad to have heard it.
It still surprises me how different cultures rely on their children thru out their life, especially in older age.
Thanx 4 all the hard work u put in2 ur videos. U go above & beyond each & every time. Hopefully u can get 2 100k subs really soon. 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
Man have your parents heard of retirement packages?
The parents only needed help because they gambled their assets away!
First 18 years of childcare: you baked it, you bought it. Taking care of the kid is exactly what you signed up for. The kid doesn't owe you for making your own choices and fulfilling obligations you chose to take on.
College years: You never gave the kid a chance to explore his interests and took control of the path he'd follow. You chose to take that control and invest money in keeping it. The thoroughly manipulated offspring who never even got a proper childhood because of your control of him goes along with it. He owes you nothing.
Kid finally breaks free of you, finds his own interests, and you disown him. Kid owes you nothing, save maybe for 23 years worth of screaming at you for being entitled control freaks.
No way would I let those spiteful & prideful people meet my loving family.
Story one. If OPs parents are so interested in payback he should give it to them. He should say since he was disowned for seven years now it’s their turn to be disowned for seven years. Tell them that they can all sit down together again in 2029.
Op should have stayed away. Once you are disowned, you have no right to go back to them. Even if they are begging for money. The only thing you can do is forgive them, but move on. Even if these parents take back their "disown" moment, it's time to step in with a lawyer and lay out the ground terms of how things are going to go financial wise and document it it all. This puts the disowned child in full control of what he wants of his parents. Hopefully OP will regret his decision and steps away again.
Op, your first priory is your family - aka wife and child! Not entitled parents!