what happened... where I've been and how I'm healing

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  • Опубліковано 11 сер 2021
  • i'm very nervous to share this but my hope in doing so is that it helps even just one person in their grief and healing process. I appreciate your love and support more than you will ever know. See you all next Thursday
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,4 тис.

  • @marissacruz5410
    @marissacruz5410 2 роки тому +2683

    All the mommies who didn’t make it through childbirth are in heaven taking care of all the babies who didn’t make it through their delivery❤️

    • @ashlynnreader1499
      @ashlynnreader1499 2 роки тому +127

      I love this thought 💕

    • @jennl93
      @jennl93 2 роки тому +159

      This is a wonderful view of such tragic situations. Thank you for this comment.

    • @rebeccawright9508
      @rebeccawright9508 2 роки тому +66

      What a beautiful thought.

    • @dianekiko4504
      @dianekiko4504 2 роки тому +29

      I love this!

    • @Banks040
      @Banks040 2 роки тому +23

      Amen 🙏🏻

  • @89kaitlyn
    @89kaitlyn 2 роки тому +270

    I recently went through a major loss, different than you. My husband passed away suddenly due to a stroke, I was 6 weeks pregnant with our first child at the time. Thankfully my pregnancy is ok and I’m currently 21 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. My grief counsellor said something that resonated with me “I am only an expert at my own loss, no one else will truly understand my loss”. So don’t let anyone tell you how you “should” grieve or how you “should” move on. Do what feels right for you and your family. Im so sorry you are having to go through this trauma.

    • @belindamcaleavy1942
      @belindamcaleavy1942 2 роки тому +7

      I'm so sorry for your loss

    • @jaxxiet5851
      @jaxxiet5851 2 роки тому +4

      I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙏💖

    • @georgiatayrac2404
      @georgiatayrac2404 2 роки тому +5

      This baby is so lucky to hv you as a mom❤ good luck mama

    • @katy9291
      @katy9291 2 роки тому +2

      Im so sorry for your loss 🙏

    • @traceykerr895
      @traceykerr895 2 роки тому +4

      I am so sorry for your loss. Best wishes for when your son arrives

  • @nicoledewick2982
    @nicoledewick2982 2 роки тому +14

    Thank you for sharing Rachel. The healing process is so hard and it’s comforting to know others are going through it as well. The timeline for mine this year was almost exactly the same.

  • @JessNV
    @JessNV 2 роки тому +45

    Oh Rachel, I’m so sorry. I completely relate to feeling uncomfortable feeling intense emotion and grief, been going through some hard times and this is a great reminder of how important it is to let my body feel that emotion. My prayers are with you and your family.

  • @Aliadale
    @Aliadale 2 роки тому +811

    Your baby girl didn’t know her life was cut short, she only knew warmth and love. We loved you then, now, and always. Heal you and your family. If you’re worried about putting out content frame it this way, you can’t give your all to videos if you’re not all there. You come first.

    • @deendrew36
      @deendrew36 2 роки тому +65

      I love the realization that this little girl did not know how short her life (on earth) was, but only that she was/is loved and cherished. I believe she has eternal life now. ❤️

  • @AmandaandlolaNL
    @AmandaandlolaNL 2 роки тому +408

    My heart breaks. Especially when you said “last miscarriage video” the fact that you are brave enough to talk about it and help people is inspiring. Thoughts and prayers are with you lady!

  • @bronwyngavin6076
    @bronwyngavin6076 2 роки тому +301

    Rach, I'm so sorry. I lost a son at 23 weeks, and I'll never forget holding his tiny little body. It's a pain no one should ever have to feel. On top of the pain of losing a child, you have people who try to minimize your feelings and big emotions. Time is the ultimate healer. 💙💙💙 💕💕💕

    • @kyliedunmire7280
      @kyliedunmire7280 2 роки тому +7

      My mom passed away on New Year’s Day of 2020 and one of the greatest gifts I’ve held in my heart was her finally getting to hold the baby she lost before my brothers and me. As much as I her, knowing that she is eternally surrounded by love is everything.

    • @prettyinpink9893
      @prettyinpink9893 2 роки тому +3

      I just lost my son at 24 weeks last Friday. I hope I’ll be ok. I don’t feel like I’m going to make it

    • @bronwyngavin6076
      @bronwyngavin6076 2 роки тому +3

      @@prettyinpink9893 I am so very sorry. It's a pain unlike any other in the world. I'm not going to tell you things happen for a reason bc I HATED all the well meaning people that said that to me. Time is truly the only thing that will help. My son would have just turned 15, and I still feel that pain every year. I'm here to talk if that helps. It helped me to share with other women that had gone through the same thing. What happened to us wasn't a miscarriage, and I had a lot of resentment towards the people that tried to minimize it to that by telling me a lot of women have miscarriages. I, as I'm sure you did, had to deliver my son and hold him while he tried to take his one and only breath. And I am NOT saying miscarriages are minute either bc I've had an early term miscarriage as well, and that tore me up inside, too. I will tell you that I have had 2 perfectly healthy normal pregnancies since then. My sons are 5 and 6. It took me a long time to get to the point where I was emotionally ready to try again. You feel all those feelings, cry, scream, whatever you feel at the moment allow yourself to feel it. The pain and heartache never truly go away, but you will be able to deal with it easier as time passes. And like I said, I'm here to chat if you need to. 🌈 💙 💙

    • @gracealicious1
      @gracealicious1 2 роки тому +1

      I lost my first daughter at 23 weeks and it was so hard I wish I would have held her and looked at her but I was so hurt in that moment and didn’t know what to do I just didn’t even want to see her biggest regret in my life

    • @aoyamiuriko5059
      @aoyamiuriko5059 2 роки тому +3

      Wow....I know i shouldn't be on here this is making me cry and my heart goes out to you and everyone on this thread. I had a daughter at 21 weeks on literal new years eve. I thought I didn't want to see her but im glad the nurses held onto her until I felt better, also never seen my husband cry like that ever and I thought he wasn't connected. My sister had a still birth 2yrs ago and I don't want anyone to go thru what we went thru. I can't imagine any of it and I went thru it. Hoping this time a rainbow 🌈 for all of us in Jesus name!

  • @MomNTraining
    @MomNTraining 2 роки тому +42

    That is incredibly intense. I’m so sorry you had to deal with such a scary medical situation on top of your grief. I think taking a break was the absolute right call. ❤️

  • @brookhall8142
    @brookhall8142 2 роки тому +217

    She is and was your baby. A precious life. We grieve with you.

  • @stellabarnard3623
    @stellabarnard3623 2 роки тому +528

    I went through a miscarriage, and was left to deal with it on my own. My employer at that time, wouldn't even give me time off, and so I had to go to work the next day. I never had the chance to mourn the loss. I felt so lost and alone, because everyone's life continued on, while mine fell apart. So I want to thank you for this video, and sharing your story with us. I cried with you for the loss of my little one. Lots of love

    • @mandaleemilly6367
      @mandaleemilly6367 2 роки тому +53

      I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Time off should be mandatory when you’re dealing with trauma like that.

    • @laurenzavicar9363
      @laurenzavicar9363 2 роки тому +12

      I’m going through exactly the same thing right now. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you so much healing.

    • @mygirldarby
      @mygirldarby 2 роки тому +39

      We need better laws for women. Employers shouldn't be allowed to do what they did to you. I'm so sorry.

    • @brooklynphillips9514
      @brooklynphillips9514 2 роки тому +14

      I’m so saddened and angered reading this. I’m so sorry for your loss and mistreatment

    • @stellabarnard3623
      @stellabarnard3623 2 роки тому +13

      Thank you everyone. I feel miscarriage just gets swept under the rug and is a taboo subject. I'm glad Rachel decided to share her story on UA-cam. Perhaps it'll enlighten others about the trauma of having a miscarriage.

  • @hangchungoc9516
    @hangchungoc9516 2 роки тому +28

    Rachel, I truly love the fact you’re taking the time for yourself! You’re important and your emotions matter! ❤️

  • @ddpaw7
    @ddpaw7 2 роки тому +41

    I’m so proud of you for getting through such a difficult experience. It’s amazing that you spoke about this and your journey, I appreciate you so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️ all the best to you !

  • @joannapenn878
    @joannapenn878 2 роки тому +357

    I just want to hug you through the screen. Can’t imagine what pain you and Chris have gone through. Love to you both. 💗

  • @MusicLover7545
    @MusicLover7545 2 роки тому +184

    You are a whole person, Rachel. We love the sunny, bright Rachel that we usually see in your videos, but we love this Rachel too. Thanks for sharing your whole self with us

  • @kristykushmaul2917
    @kristykushmaul2917 2 роки тому +13

    I’m praying for you and Chris. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your heartache. We love you! Take all the time you need!! We will be here when you’re ready!

  • @adiposeNarnian
    @adiposeNarnian 2 роки тому +6

    This was such a brave and beautiful video, and I'm so impressed and proud of the responsible way you faced your pain and grief to share it with us.

  • @connietankersley9514
    @connietankersley9514 2 роки тому +484

    I’m currently going through my first miscarriage at almost 9 weeks. No one I’m close with really understands and I’ve felt so lonely. My son is 4 so I was already sad at the thought of them not being close in age. I watched your first video and was heartbroken for you. Now I have a whole other level of empathy for you. You are so kind and brave to share again. Thank you for making me feel heard. We love all the parts about you, happy and sad, and I hope you find peace in some way ❤️

    • @ccurtis130
      @ccurtis130 2 роки тому +13

      It’s sounds cliche, but it does get better. It’s never going to be perfect and you will always think about it. But it gets easier to think about. It’s been 12 years since I miscarried twins, but this year I cried on the day I lost them. But I was able to move on after I cried. I wish you well and hope you heal. Just know it’s ok to cry about the loss and grieve. Sending love and prayers.

    • @zozoeliza
      @zozoeliza 2 роки тому +3

      i’m so sorry for your loss. sending you love ❤️

    • @yektaangel1234
      @yektaangel1234 2 роки тому +4

      You are never alone even if it’s not with people close to you just know there’s always someone out there who cares for you even if it’s a stranger. So sorry for your loss👼 your baby will always be watching over you

    • @crystalbarfoot
      @crystalbarfoot 2 роки тому

      I'm sending you love and caring. You aren't alone. It's real. And it's ok to grieve. ❤️❤️

    • @kathrynduprey3744
      @kathrynduprey3744 2 роки тому +1

      I'm so sorry for your loss. It can feel so isolating especially if those around you don't understand.

  • @toodlebug8852
    @toodlebug8852 2 роки тому +618

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My daughter Chloe was stillborn at 6 months gestation. It’s been 23 years now. I still think of her every day. 💔

    • @monanana-04
      @monanana-04 2 роки тому +25

      I’m so so sorry. How you treasure her and her short life shows what an amazing mother you are❤️

    • @saras.6641
      @saras.6641 2 роки тому +1

      💜

    • @dinky..
      @dinky.. 2 роки тому +1

      I'm so sorry you went through this Michelle 💕 Chloe is a beautiful name 🙏❤

    • @foreverNwonder
      @foreverNwonder 2 роки тому +1

      😔 I’m so sorry for your loss… my little sister had a miscarriage pretty far into her pregnancy, and her daughter’s name was Chloe too ❤️

    • @ItsJustLisa
      @ItsJustLisa 2 роки тому +1

      My SIL lost our niece at 5 months due to a heart defect. Josie would have been 20 in November.

  • @xpeekabooqtx
    @xpeekabooqtx 2 роки тому +217

    Almost identical situation here-I was due in December and I also had a missed miscarriage. I was pregnant with twins and babies had stopped growing at 9w3d. It was such a horrifying experience, both physically and emotionally. I am also still struggling. Sending warm thoughts your way. You are not alone.

    • @Mcmom14
      @Mcmom14 2 роки тому +4

      Hey hun, you’re not alone either. I just went through it too 😢 The most traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m sending you lots and lots of love!

    • @kaitjones1678
      @kaitjones1678 2 роки тому

      My baby was due in December too! I'm sorry for what u went through. March is now a month I dont feel comfortable TTCing in ever again.

    • @godstendermercies6394
      @godstendermercies6394 2 роки тому +2

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I was wondering if you had any covid tests or injections before the miscarriage. 💧♥️

  • @nicolettealtieri8777
    @nicolettealtieri8777 2 роки тому +21

    Such a heartbreaking journey you’re going through but it’s truly amazing you are sitting here to tell it. My prayers are with you and your family and I’m so glad to see that little by little you are finding a way to put those broken pieces back into place. ❤️

  • @JuliVibme
    @JuliVibme 2 роки тому +170

    I often watch your content as a safe space, where I can look at this happy woman with a healthy relationship, great husband and kids and a beautiful house. It's a comforting dream but this video reminds me that real life happens when the camera is off. Thank you so much for sharing, take your time

  • @baileycornell2189
    @baileycornell2189 2 роки тому +394

    I always get upset when creators feel the need to thank their viewers for giving them peace when they are inactive. There's nothing you owe us. There's nothing you have to say regarding your absence, as long as you don't want to. You are allowed to not be there. You're allowed to not put out content. We, as viewers, are not entitled to your life.
    I can't imagine the trauma of all of this. It's heartbreaking and the fact you were able to sit down and film your story is amazing.
    There's nothing that can be said or done to make it any better, just know you are heard.

    • @Artliker1234
      @Artliker1234 2 роки тому +5

      I think it's because some creators have created a community. Some people likely checked in on her when she took the break. I don't think it's meant necessarily negatively or pressure

    • @baileycornell2189
      @baileycornell2189 2 роки тому +11

      @@Artliker1234 I understand, I just can't imagine having that much investment without respect. It's awesome to check in, but sometimes space is needed. You know. It's a horrible situation, and I hope her community support helped

    • @amydee0074
      @amydee0074 2 роки тому +4

      I know what you mean, I feel the same way about recession lines at a wake 😞 Having to thank all those people when you feel so heartbroken just doesn’t seem right

    • @itsmirandalouise
      @itsmirandalouise 2 роки тому

      All of this. I totally agree. God bless her. 🙏🏻😢💗

    • @BeckyA59
      @BeckyA59 2 роки тому +3

      Thank you for saying that, I feel the same, UA-cam creators do not owe us their lives!

  • @TheUnknownGazetto8
    @TheUnknownGazetto8 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you for posting this. It is helpful for anyone experiencing loss and wanting to hold everything down for fear of feeling too much. It is hard to feel, and you are amazing and powerful for making it through this terribly difficult time in your life. You are working toward peace, and I hope it finds you soon. Take your time to heal.

  • @lizziesopp
    @lizziesopp 2 роки тому +39

    I'm so sorry for yours and Chris' loss of your baby girl, Rachel. You're so brave and strong to share your story to help others. Sending lots of thoughts and love to you and your family ❤

  • @meaghanjames2419
    @meaghanjames2419 2 роки тому +400

    It is so important to increase awareness of these topics, but it’s so hard and awful that people have to go through these challenges and heartbreaks at all. I am so proud of you for putting your mental and physical health first. It’s extraordinarily difficult and doing so can feel worse before it feels better. Thank you for speaking on this heartbreaking topic, and I am so sorry you’ve gone through it twice. I’m sending all my love and positive feelings your way 💜

  • @amberpitman4163
    @amberpitman4163 2 роки тому +277

    Miscarriage is such a tragic, indescribable experience. My heart truly aches for you, having been through it myself at 10 weeks. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. ❤️

    • @misSimplicityXx
      @misSimplicityXx 2 роки тому +6

      I also had a mc at 10 weeks end of May. Currently 9 weeks pregnant again so early after and I’ve been a nervous wreck. Ugh!

    • @Glim246
      @Glim246 2 роки тому

      @@misSimplicityXx Wishing you all the best for a healthy pregnancy. I realize that it is incredibly hard not to worry but if you can find it in yourself to be positive it will help you both stay strong mentally and physically.

  • @lizmgarcia1703
    @lizmgarcia1703 2 роки тому +2

    My heart is with you, Rachel. Sending you a great amount of healing vibes. So sorry for your loss.

  • @MariaDemeyer-SyreniaLifestyle
    @MariaDemeyer-SyreniaLifestyle 2 роки тому

    You’re such an awesome human being! Such a courageous soul! I’m so sorry for your loss and so impressed you took the time and energy to share and help others going through the same thing! Sending you strength and energy to you and your little family 🥰

  • @lauren3596
    @lauren3596 2 роки тому +321

    To everyone in the comments (and Rachel), who have been through this, I am unbelievably sorry. You are truly so strong. Your experience is valid and we see and love you❤️

  • @meganbaum8832
    @meganbaum8832 2 роки тому +387

    This is one of the most difficult things we can go through as women. It isn’t talked about enough and you feel so alone going through the process. Sending hugs your way!

  • @sunnyd1134
    @sunnyd1134 2 роки тому

    I went through the second part of your story... Therapy was so helpful, especially to manage each month. You are so brave and so strong. Thank you for sharing your story. 💕

  • @confidenceisme3710
    @confidenceisme3710 2 роки тому

    I absolutely love that fact that you are so transparent and vulnerable. You show true character and love! Your soul is overwhelmingly beautiful! 🤍

  • @HealthNutNutrition
    @HealthNutNutrition 2 роки тому +793

    my heart truly broke when you talked about holding your baby.. I only have one daughter and I cant even imagine going through that experience and loss. I truly wish you and your family so much love and healing.

  • @singwithjoy91
    @singwithjoy91 2 роки тому +52

    I've never commented on a UA-cam video before, but I wanted to say thank you for this. All of the moms who have even an inkling of what you have just been through are standing with you and crying with you. You have kept me company through a military move away from family and two rounds of post partum mood disorder and I am so grateful for the brightness I feel when I see you post a new video. We are here because you are real with us. Much love to you and Chris on your journey.

  • @jenhulslander9084
    @jenhulslander9084 2 роки тому +13

    I started watching this last week and had to stop myself halfway through because I was so overwhelmed with the fear of losing my baby. I was 11 weeks when I watched it. At my 12 week appointment I found out my baby stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. I'd already miscarried when I watched it and I think I subconsciously knew already. Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss and I understand what you're going through as I'm going through it right now. There's nothing worse then trying for a baby and wanting them and not getting to hold them. I've had you in my thoughts a lot, I hope you're continue to cope in healthy ways. ❤

  • @laurenelizabeth1677
    @laurenelizabeth1677 2 роки тому +7

    I needed to hear this. I’ve been struggling from things much much smaller than what you’ve been dealing with and this is proof that if you can take a break, I can too. Thank you. I love you.

  • @crystalillig20
    @crystalillig20 2 роки тому +99

    Oh Rachel. I'm soo sorry that you've gone through this twice and had to make this video twice.💙❤ We love you!
    From one angel Mama to another, all the thoughts in the world!

  • @KalynNicholson
    @KalynNicholson 2 роки тому +1244

    I'm so sorry Rachel. You are so strong and resilient in sharing your story. I pray the healing process held you and is still nurturing your heart and soul in all the ways you need ♥️

    • @memelondon79
      @memelondon79 2 роки тому +1

      Ppt ppppppp poop poop poop p poop pppppppppppp poop ppp poop poop pp the best thing to keep me up to

    • @memelondon79
      @memelondon79 2 роки тому +1

      Oh wow I was so sad I missed the last one of you and you

    • @jessicaann9027
      @jessicaann9027 2 роки тому +1

      Beautifully spoken. ❤️

    • @sponton89
      @sponton89 2 роки тому

      I am so sorry for your loss!

    • @hayleydonohue2921
      @hayleydonohue2921 2 роки тому

      @@memelondon79 lll

  • @arpy612
    @arpy612 2 роки тому

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, Rachel. You are such a strong and inspiring soul. I’ve followed you for years, and you have always been a solid constant in my life. I pray that you can find peace in this heartbreaking time. We are all here for you and will always love and support you and Chris! Please take all the time you need to heal, and when you’re ready, we’ll be here 💕

  • @kyledanimiller89
    @kyledanimiller89 2 роки тому +13

    When you took your absence I was concerned for you that this had happened again. I'm so sorry it happened, but I am glad you're taking the time you need to heal physically, mentally and emotionally. We all love you here and can't wait for you to come back whenever you are ready. Praying for you lots! Love from Paraguay

  • @FlorPortas
    @FlorPortas 2 роки тому +150

    Oh god rachel im so sorry, i was here the other time it happened and it just completely breaks my heart to see you like this again. You are a beautiful person and an amazing mom, and you are SO strong. My mom went through something like this before having me, and as far as i know she completely shut that whole experience down, so the fact that you actually held baby and are talking about it now speaks of your incredible strength. Im sending you so so much love♥️

  • @ciaoobelllaxo
    @ciaoobelllaxo 2 роки тому +1280

    I’m so sorry to hear you went through this. 😢 I absolutely could not imagine how traumatic that must have even .. praying for you during this time! 🤍

    • @aneishalopez6669
      @aneishalopez6669 2 роки тому +2

      Love you so much! I’m keeping you all in prayer and I’m so glad you are in a place where you could share.

    • @gillypiexo
      @gillypiexo 2 роки тому +1

      @Miles Doyle well said 👏

    • @nicolebeck8997
      @nicolebeck8997 2 роки тому +2

      We love you ❤️

  • @ashleybartels3355
    @ashleybartels3355 2 роки тому +118

    I'm so sorry for your loss. It's helpful for me to remember "grief is love with nowhere to go". Your grief is all the love you have for your girl over flowing.. sending you and Chris all the love.

    • @gailflora1835
      @gailflora1835 2 роки тому +4

      Your comment is so true. I gave the love I had for my stillborn baby to hundreds of women by reaching out after their own pregnancy loss.

    • @mrspokitstheriot477
      @mrspokitstheriot477 2 роки тому +2

      That phrase speaks to me and I hope I never forget it.

  • @britajohannessen-kluk7091
    @britajohannessen-kluk7091 2 роки тому

    I’m so sorry for your loss! Thanks for sharing your story and healing journey, I wish you all the best ❤️

  • @cherylmorton2316
    @cherylmorton2316 2 роки тому +44

    We lost our little boy at 20 weeks and have never really recovered, 12 years later. I kept all my emotions to myself and found it very difficult to talk to my friends and family about it for fear of upsetting them, with hindsight I should have been brave enough to show my emotions as I feel this would have helped with the healing. My heart goes out to you and Chris, you are a beautiful soul with a beautiful heart and I admire your bravery in speaking up about your experiences in losing a baby, I feel if I had listened to your words when it happened to me, it would have given me the courage to speak up, God bless you and your beautiful family and I pray for happiness in the future xx

  • @roxannemarie7513
    @roxannemarie7513 2 роки тому +117

    take your time healing, there is no "correct" time frame we will be here whenever you get back

  • @rachelgill7579
    @rachelgill7579 2 роки тому +102

    I’m so sorry Rachel. I’ve had two miscarriages, but I was never hospitalized. I can’t imagine dealing with the grief on top of the fear of everything else going on.

    • @dinky..
      @dinky.. 2 роки тому

      💕💕💕💕💕💕

  • @boymamatimes3406
    @boymamatimes3406 2 роки тому +7

    I just want to start off and say YOU ARE AMAZING! We lost our son at 24 weeks last month and seeing you talk about your loss has gave me so much strength♥️♥️♥️

  • @jacquelineclark9783
    @jacquelineclark9783 2 роки тому +163

    Thank you for sharing. I had a stillborn baby girl three years ago and EVERYONE treats these topics like taboo. No one wants to talk about and it’s heartbreaking. But thank you for being brave and sharing your experience- I believe that sharing these experiences is a way of celebrating that there IS another part of your family. ❤️❤️

    • @Belcheryl
      @Belcheryl 2 роки тому +1

      Bless you. I’m sorry sorry that you had to go through that♥️

    • @Trsanchez76
      @Trsanchez76 2 роки тому

      So very sorry for your loss

    • @mygirldarby
      @mygirldarby 2 роки тому

      I'm so sorry. My best friend had a full-term stillborn. The umbilical cord wrapped around the baby's neck during her labor. When she got to the hospital to give birth she was told there was no heartbeat. They made her give birth naturally. It was her first baby and she was in labor for over 17 hours, knowing he was not alive. I thought it was torture what they did to her. Later the doctor said that had he known how big the baby was he would have done a c section...it was such a nightmare. It was a long time ago but she still grieves and I still grieve for her.

    • @ashleighmryd
      @ashleighmryd 2 роки тому

      I’m so sorry 😢 sending you lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

  • @CarlaKariott
    @CarlaKariott 2 роки тому +188

    Rachel, this is the most important video you’ve made. This will help so many women heal. This is such a hard topic because most women grieve in silence but you have given this the attention it deserves. I’m sorry to you, Chris and your family for your loss. I hope you heal physically and emotionally.

  • @americangirl0090
    @americangirl0090 2 роки тому

    I’m so sorry for your loss, beautiful. I’m proud of you for sharing this even though it’s difficult. We love you and we are here whenever you’re ready to come back. You’re amazing and such a wonderful person. Sending love, peace, and healing to your family.❤️

  • @anazanoni2291
    @anazanoni2291 2 роки тому

    Rachel you are so, so strong. You’re such a beautiful and wonderful mother, and such an amazing PERSON. Thank you for trusting us with this story and sharing your healing process, I know it’ll help many, and I also hope it’ll help you. You’re not alone and things will be alright ❤️

  • @delilamartinez9633
    @delilamartinez9633 2 роки тому +33

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my son back in March and I sometimes feel like I haven’t fully grieved. I had him at 23 weeks and I got to watch him grow for 2 months before he passed. I love and miss him so much.

  • @itsJessicaJean
    @itsJessicaJean 2 роки тому +29

    Sending you so many hugs and good thoughts. You got this, Rach. You’re such a strong woman. ❤️❤️

  • @kelseybright9763
    @kelseybright9763 2 роки тому +1

    I'm sorry for your loss. That's not an easy thing to go through and you are remarkably strong for going through this and then sharing it with the world. You are 100% correct in that it's ok to not be ok. That's a really hard thing to come to terms with. I appreciate your videos soo much they always make me feel good after a long day. I'm glad you've gotten the help you needed and wish you all the best on your healing journey.

  • @katiejackson5606
    @katiejackson5606 2 роки тому +1

    I'm so sorry! Praying for you! Glad you're taking time to heal!

  • @lenahill3686
    @lenahill3686 2 роки тому +16

    Absolutely admire you for sharing this with everyone and my thoughts and prayers are with you, Chris, and your family.

  • @VictoriaBC610
    @VictoriaBC610 2 роки тому +52

    This is truly heartbreaking.. :( was crying with you.. But so glad you're on the road of recovery both physically and mentally. This is definitely a very traumatic experience and good for you, for taking the time to grieve and heal (also very scary for Chris, I'm sure! I work in healthcare and know too well how things happen REALLY quick when someone goes down like that!.. and super scary for the family member witnessing all that.. So I hope Chris is doing well as well).

  • @MissMelindaFCC
    @MissMelindaFCC 2 роки тому

    I am about six months out from cancer treatment. And I’m so glad how you stated and explained your processing and emotional recovery. Trauma is so real. Our minds and bodies need space to feel things and cope and process. Thanks for sharing so openly, and encouraging others in their mental health as well as their own mourning journeys! I loved your explanation of when you didn’t heal last time, it ended up being a brick inside you. Much much love. Gonna go watch some old videos I’ve missed before or enjoy a lot. ❤️😊

  • @ashleeobrien9449
    @ashleeobrien9449 2 роки тому

    Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. I was crying right along with you this entire video. I feel so deeply sad for you. You guys are such kind people and for something so devastating to happen to you, it’s not fair. But you are doing so great. You deserve the world. Thank you so much for being you. You always bring me happiness whenever I come across your videos. You are an amazing positive light for me when I am feeling lonely at night when my son daughter and husband have tucked in and I’m up doing things still. So thank you, for being vulnerable and I am sending healing vibes your way. ❤️

  • @jessicaw7185
    @jessicaw7185 2 роки тому +303

    I am heartbroken that you and Chris have had to go through this again. Thank you for using your platform to help the rest of us learn more about miscarriages. They are more common than we are lead to believe.
    Thank you for being so open and brave with sharing your experience ❤

    • @heatherlynn1016
      @heatherlynn1016 2 роки тому +11

      You’re right! When I had my miscarriage I thought “what did I do wrong” “what’s wrong with my body?” Because you never hear about miscarriages and how common they are and there’s nothing that we did wrong and our bodies didn’t fail us!

    • @stephaniepeebles6350
      @stephaniepeebles6350 2 роки тому +2

      @@heatherlynn1016 so true...until u have one and then everyone tells u that they have had one too.

  • @MurrAnDur
    @MurrAnDur 2 роки тому +54

    I’m so sorry that you went through this. I lost my first baby in a similar way that you did. I was traumatized and searched out videos like this as a way to feel understood and not so lonely. They helped me process. It’s such an important thing to talk about. Often women feel like they are supposed to push it down to not make others uncomfortable. Thank you for making a video on such a difficult topic and helping women that are also experiencing a loss. I pray for your healing and every woman suffering through this.

  • @danyelwest
    @danyelwest 2 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing your story. You’re so brave and so strong. I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this.

  • @madeleinedubuc3217
    @madeleinedubuc3217 2 роки тому +1

    I just discover your channels a week ago and have been binge-watching your videos. You are hilarious to watch. Then I saw this video. The courage must have taken you to show a raw side of yourself with your story. I'm sure it is helping other people in the same situation. You are an amazing woman, wife, and mother with wonderful support around you, that I'm sure will help you heal. I am sending you tons of positive vibes. Thank you for being part of my life.

  • @nataliaanne5193
    @nataliaanne5193 2 роки тому +78

    Throughout my years of following you, I've looked up to you like an older sister, or another aunt. Women are so strong, and you sharing your grief and healing journeys is a testament to that. Your baby girl and Michael are surely in Heaven, watching over their beautiful family. Sending lots of love and prayers, and gratitude for opening up like you do ❤️

  • @Marie11Noel
    @Marie11Noel 2 роки тому +33

    I love the moments where you are smiling and expressing your emotions of excitement so I am so sorry that was ripped away from you. You are a hero for surviving and especially speaking out about it. Thank you for being vulnerable with us. I am holding space for you

  • @bruschi090
    @bruschi090 2 роки тому +1

    Holding space for you, sending you love and light. Thank you for normalizing therapy, grief, rest, and time. You shared your story beautifully.

  • @individualpersona
    @individualpersona 2 роки тому

    Thank you for being strong enough to share your story 💕 I’m so sorry this happened to you. Stay strong and I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers

  • @vicvickyvic
    @vicvickyvic 2 роки тому +42

    Rach, hearing this was unbelievably hard, and I can’t even begin to imagine what you and yours are going through.
    Just hope you know we’re all here for you, sending you all the love and good vibes possible.
    Hope you can heal and feel better soon.
    All the love from Uruguay 🇺🇾

  • @adrisan88
    @adrisan88 2 роки тому +91

    I am not even halfway through, but I’m really, really sorry you had to go through this. My heart goes out to you and your family. You have brought fun and laughter to many of us during hard times; I certainly missed you on your break, but was hoping you were doing ok. I wish you the best in your healing process and hope you take all the time you need to be surrounded by the love of your family.

  • @moondoggiesbaby
    @moondoggiesbaby 2 роки тому

    I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain. We're all here for you. Thank you for this message on being gentle with ourselves and learning to take time. I definitely struggle with this and am learning how to navigate grief too.

  • @weetz1992
    @weetz1992 Рік тому +10

    I'm just now seeing this and just wanted to say I have felt the same way with my miscarriages. I buried my emotions and just tried to move on since I had so many. I'm currently 6 months pregnant and worry everyday something is going to happen. I wish I had seen this a year ago when I had my last miscarriage it really would have helped me. I love your videos and your personality and I'm so happy that you were able to cope with your loss.

  • @RebeccaBrysonMUA
    @RebeccaBrysonMUA 2 роки тому +58

    I’m so sorry Rachel, I hope you and Chris are grieving and healing together 💕

  • @maithileekajale5176
    @maithileekajale5176 2 роки тому +66

    I'm so sorry Rachel. I recently lost 2 people who were really close to my heart and honestly, I shut everyone out. I haven't opened up in front of anyone, I just couldn't, and I have been feeling lonely. I cried with you throughout the video and now I realise how much I needed this. Sending you all the love Rachel. The RachhLoves fam laughs and cries together ❤️

  • @laurawood460
    @laurawood460 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Rachel. I've watched you for years and this isn't something I've ever had to experience, but I can only imagine the pain you are going through. I'm so sorry you have gone through this and I wish there was something we all could do to help you as you and your family heal.

  • @aquavete
    @aquavete 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you for sharing. Miscarriages are hard and we’re expected to just be strong and move on. We lost our first in 2019. And it’s definitely hard thank you for talking about it. I’m so glad we have our son now since 2020. Dealing with emotions and feelings is hard for me too and I’m always on the go as well. It’s hard to stop ❤️❤️sending you love and support

  • @dbloodworth3010
    @dbloodworth3010 2 роки тому +23

    My heart hurts for you, I was crying just hearing what you went through. I went through the same thing with my first pregnancy and I remember just feeling like I was just in a dark place mentally. So thank you for this because I dont think I truly got over it. You have been a huge blessing in my everyday life when I get to watch one of your videos, your positivity is just healing for the soul. So thank you for that. I'm praying for you as you heal mentally and physically. God bless you and your family.

  • @lynnctodd
    @lynnctodd 2 роки тому +307

    This was heart wrenching and I can’t imagine how scary this was to go through. Please take all the time you need. I am so sorry you went through this.

    • @Catglittercrafts
      @Catglittercrafts 2 роки тому +2

      @@youssefhachicha49 miscarriage

    • @jessm1309
      @jessm1309 2 роки тому +6

      @@youssefhachicha49 dude wtf? People don't choose to have a miscarriage. Maybe check a dictionary and delete your stupid comment.

    • @nicolacarr1519
      @nicolacarr1519 2 роки тому

      @@youssefhachicha49 dude no need to harsh and disrespectful grow up

    • @jessm1309
      @jessm1309 2 роки тому +1

      @@youssefhachicha49 no, it doesn't. But I can guarantee you already knew that and you're just trolling. One day maybe you'll grow up 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @roxiek888
      @roxiek888 2 роки тому

      @@youssefhachicha49 I’m going to assume you’re a child. A miscarriage is something that the body does on its own, there is no choice in a miscarriage. You’re talking about an ab0rti0n

  • @kintz77
    @kintz77 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your story Rachel. It’s an incredibly important topic that not enough women talk about, so many of those who experience similar occurrences feel alone. Thoughts and prayers and vibes encouraging strength passed onto you and your family.

  • @hollyerorabaugh4406
    @hollyerorabaugh4406 2 роки тому +26

    Sending love and light. This is exactly why we as woman need to hold eachother UP not bring eachother down. We love you and I appreciate you being so open and honest. Not like you owed us any explanations! Lol I’m praying for you and your family. You’re a beautiful person inside and out

  • @neelamranka178
    @neelamranka178 2 роки тому +41

    It’s truly amazing how so many people are sharing their stories and healing process…
    I’m sorry I’m a little young to feel your emotions entirely but I’m happy you are healing and shoutout to all the people in the comments for being strong❤️

  • @stonesatglasshouses3477
    @stonesatglasshouses3477 2 роки тому +102

    Recently, I came to terms with the fact that I will never have another child. My son is 15. I’ve suffered from 7 unexplained miscarriages. My last I lost twins at 13 weeks. Having gone through this, I will say the only thing anyone should say- I am so sorry. You are not alone and everything you feel is valid.
    One thing I have found is that fathers don’t get enough support when a couple suffers a miscarriage. There are some really great books for men to help them to support you but also process their own feelings.

    • @anabobana20
      @anabobana20 2 роки тому

      Wow, I'm so sorry you've been through that. I wish I knew you because I don't want to come off as offensive in anyway, but a lot of times miscarriages, especially multiple ones, come from generational curses. Not sure if you believe in that but it's usually demonic. That wasn't the portion the Father had for you at all but the enemy looks for doors to come in to kill, still and destroy. My husband and I cast out demons, and a lot of times they hold on to generational curses and wreak havoc in people's lives.

    • @donnyreiss1180
      @donnyreiss1180 2 роки тому +4

      in n.z after ur third in a row miscarriage they take u for specialised tests to c what the root of the problem is.

    • @MsBkboom
      @MsBkboom 2 роки тому

      I’m sorry for your loss also. I just want to say my mom miscarried 8 times before having me. I guess you could say I was a miracle baby for my parents. My sister and I have a 6 year difference between us. While isn’t isn’t the biggest we aren’t close. Bit of a shame.

  • @CMRRollins
    @CMRRollins 2 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for listening to your body. It’s so easy for our brains to believe that they are in charge. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling, but just know that we love you and will be here to support you always. Sending hugs and hope for healing for your whole family. ❤️

  • @becca7378
    @becca7378 2 роки тому +1

    You are so incredibly inspirational ... I can't imagine what it took to do this video. I'm so so grateful you chose to share your story. Saying some prayers for you and your family as you navigate through this. My heart breaks for y'all.

  • @garbagegirlglam8783
    @garbagegirlglam8783 2 роки тому +87

    We missed you and my gut told me you were going through it. I’m praying for you and your family if you are ok with that.

  • @alim3222
    @alim3222 2 роки тому +189

    I’m currently going though a miscarriage and your story has given me a sense of comfort knowing other women have been where I am. I am so sorry you are going through this. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this.

    • @nikkis7375
      @nikkis7375 2 роки тому +4

      Sending so much love to you. ❤️

    • @elliefoust
      @elliefoust 2 роки тому +2

      I’m so sorry Alice. My heart is with you. Just know that you will get through. It will never be easy or normal, but you are strong and will get through.

    • @gnyng88
      @gnyng88 2 роки тому +4

      Unfortunately this happens way way too often and is not being spoken up enough.
      I also went through a long miscarriage and the only thing my doctor said we could do was waiting to be over.
      I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you feel better and recover soon.

    • @CarmenMc007
      @CarmenMc007 2 роки тому +2

      ❤️❤️ so sorry.

    • @theroadnottaken7
      @theroadnottaken7 2 роки тому

      I am so sorry for your loss.

  • @dianajarmann1943
    @dianajarmann1943 2 роки тому +1

    I am so sorry that you and Chris have experienced this loss. Thank you for sharing this video with us. I know how alone I felt when I miscarried many, many years ago and I belive that you are helping others feel less alone during their time of grief. You are truly an amazing woman. God bless.

  • @alex_guerrer02
    @alex_guerrer02 2 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing such a personal experience 💖 sending prayers to you and your family!

  • @dixiehull7192
    @dixiehull7192 2 роки тому +19

    I just stopped and prayed with my 13 month old daughter over you and your family. May you seek God in all this. Remember He can handle you screaming, crying, and being mad at Him for allowing this. May God be with you. And what a blessing He gave you to hold your beautiful angel.

  • @littledoe1617
    @littledoe1617 2 роки тому +39

    This was something I needed to hear today. I’ve had a lot of trauma as well and when you describe “the brick” it just clicked for me. Because, I am someone who just wants to move on and carry on as well. The vulnerability and honesty you showed today is very important for us all. You’re human just like us, and deserve to grieve in your own healthy way. Thank you Rachel! Sending much love to you and your family!

  • @TheGeekinthepink200
    @TheGeekinthepink200 2 роки тому

    You are so strong. Thank you for sharing your experience. Your story is going to help so many with the struggle. My heart is with you and your family

  • @giovannavqz
    @giovannavqz 2 роки тому +1

    The way I can relate to this made me feel better and that I'm not alone. It also made me realize that it is okay to grieve, so thank you for sharing this with us 🤍

  • @suziesmith7616
    @suziesmith7616 2 роки тому +4

    This was so powerful and so important. Repressing emotions is so tempting but leads nowhere good. So much respect for using your platform for such a emotional and impactful message.

  • @Tori-of9dt
    @Tori-of9dt 2 роки тому +26

    Awww, I'm sorry that you and Chris had to go through such a rough period. My stepmom had a pretty traumatic miscarriage as well, so I can only imagine how hard this has been on you. I'm glad that you have been able to take time for yourself and are able to have the room to grieve and find ways to take care of yourself.

  • @redblaquegolden
    @redblaquegolden 2 роки тому +2

    This video is a real gift. I'm so sorry you went through this. I'll never experience this type of grief exactly, but loss and grief generally are not unfamiliar to me. Taking the time is necessary. Healing is a long and complicated process, but by god, it's so necessary.

  • @marieef6684
    @marieef6684 2 роки тому

    I’m so sorry to hear this, I appreciate you sharing and being so open.

  • @Heyfa
    @Heyfa 2 роки тому +17

    I wish I could say words that could help the healing journey move more smoothly. Thank you for being vulnerable, honest, and for your bravery. Sending you, Chris, and the kids so much love.

  • @MichaelaMarty
    @MichaelaMarty 2 роки тому +6

    I’m so proud of you for taking time off and focusing on healing. That’s not easy to do! My heart goes out to you and your family. 💗

  • @am.ivanova
    @am.ivanova 2 роки тому +2

    I'm so sorry you went through this. Losing a child once must be excruciating, I cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing another one... You're such a strong person. I hope your healing process is going well and that you don't push yourself too hard. You're very lucky to have a lovely partner and kids to surround you with love and help you through this hard time.

  • @kaylabanks1967
    @kaylabanks1967 2 роки тому

    Hugs! My story is so very similar to yours. It can be a very lonely and dark time. So glad your taking the time you need to heal and recover. Thank you for your bravery as well and for giving infant and pregnancy loss a voice. ❤