What If You Married The Wrong Person?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 25 тра 2020
- Join the RLP Email List and Get a FREE copy of the Abundant Life Path Weekly Planner: lp.constantcontactpages.com/s...
The world needs more healers and coaches! Desire to become a certified spirit-led Abundant Life Coach? The new ALPCC 8-week certification is open for enrollment. Click here to get more info: rebeccalynnpope.lpages.co/abu...
Hello everyone! Thank you for your support. We welcome your comments, but remember that we respectfully do things. Blessings and Abundance ❤️
After being married and now divorced. We often say we married the wrong person.. from experience I’ll say this.... you married the wrong person for you. Doesn’t mean their wrong for someone else.
Absolutely... I married the wrong person for me... saw lots of signs that I can look back at now and think.. damn it was right there in my face . I was young and ignored lots of things... he’s not a horrible person but definitely not the man that was meant for me.
He's not for me
That was the point of the message. Sometimes people do marry abusive people. They are no good for anyone. 🌻
100%
So true
I was in a previous engagement. Made the dumb mistake of buying a house together prior to marriage. The relationship was a nightmare! Left her and lost so much money, but I had the biggest smile on my face! Now I sit and think that if I hadn’t left, I would have never met my beautiful wife!
You dodged a bullet
I just came to say AGGIE PRIDE 💙💛💙💛💙💛
@@thebossupacademy7261 Aggie Pride!!!
EXACTLY
@@Aggie4life77 Aggie Pride to y’all both, from a Bennett Belle all day!💙🔔
You spoke nothing but the truth. "People secretly are in miserable marriages." Great video!
But they keep up appearances. I know several people in that situation, but they hate losing so they stay. It might work out in the end, you never know.
That's because God didn't put them together
@@SimplisticallyDigital THIS is common.
No matter the age there's love after a divorce!
I'm ready and waiting for my second chance at the right Love!
mommy & me 🙏🏾
Are you sure? Coz she talks a lot about how visual guys are .. let’s face the truth ... it gets harder as you get older and have baggage? Or I’m i just jaded ??
@mommy & me. Yes!!!💯 God has a special man for you!! Self Love 💕 first.... Positive Vibes!!😊💜💕
@@mommyme6073 I so needed to hear that
WOW! I am in tears.😢 After 28 years in the wrong marriage, I got divorced. I knew more than 10 years before I ended it, that it was over. Thank you for this; I must share.
I am happy for you!
I knew 3-4 months in. 3 kids, 15 years after I was drained, exhausted and severely damaged. It's been 10 years later and I am still healing.
Sorry to hear that!! I hope you'll find your way out smoothly through that grieving process
omg
Wow I feel drained aswel 15 years 4 kids but am not happy,we have trust issues ,my marriage is abusive..... don't know wat to do I feel for my kids 😭😭😭😭
Interesting, MANY who marry already know that going down the aisle 'this shit ain't gon work, what da fugg am I doing' but you've made all these gastronomical high-priced wedding plans...so very sad. IF we stop making marriage out to be some kind of prize or reward, maybe we will stop fantasizing, romanticizing and WORSHIPPING marriage. This is what happens when you make marriage YOUR IDOL...and we know how God feels about idolatry, don't we? Good luck to everyone. Life is hard enough and filled with enough challenges. Stop listening to folks telling you YOU NEED TO BE MARRIED. Nothing is wrong with marriage. Nothing is wrong with a shoe either...except when it is not the right size: too big, too small, does your feet nor your NO GOOD. IJS.....
I knew the day I got married that I was making a terrible mistake but I did it anyway and I will always regret it
People don't talk about this topic enough...refreshing to hear such a similar situation. You do everything and it just doesn't work. Let it go, heal and live in truth. Life is too short ....God didn't put a lot of these marriages together. Do the work necessary and free yourself
I hear that a lot of married couples knew they shouldn’t have been married to their spouse at the alter or a few months into the marriage. I just got divorced this year. I pray I find the love and peace that God intended Marriage to be.
Wow this spoke to my soul I can't believe it. I'm 30 as well now and going through my own divorce after 3 years of marriage. Being married was a choice that I made from having a child with my 6 year best friend at the time. I didn't want our kid to be out of wedlock so I felt it was the right thing to do. However I knew from a few months of living with each other for the 1st time that something was really wrong. And that wrong feeling carried on the whole 3 years. As crazy as it sounds I'm grateful for my experience because I've learned a lot and I'm a much better person going forward.
Why do you guys marry women who sleep around with you. You guys should not sleep around. Marry the woman who does not sleep around. That's what happens. These women will trap you will friendship, kids and then marriage. It is a desperate move because these kind of women are insecure, they dont have any self worth, self respect or integrity. Low character is what you guys attract with these kind of women. FWB is the worst!
My first marriage ended because I knew going in that we weren’t the right fit for one another. There was absolutely nothing that I could do to change him. It was difficult at first, but I do not regret leaving the marriage. My 2nd husband was a much better fit and we built a great life together before he passed 2 years ago.
😥😥 Want to be married and that part scares me.
@@lightinthedusk Even with all that, it is still not 100% that it will work.
Sorry for ur lost ....
Did you get into marriage to change someone!? 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 Like really???....... 👀 You got issues
@@lightinthedusk for me attraction is the root of the problem.
That pressure is so real!! We are told marriage is hard work... it shouldn’t be miserable, it’s effort, it shouldnt be suffering and hard work all the time, I felt obligated to go through with the wedding because a lot of people were there and I didn’t want to let them down, I felt obligated because we had a child and my family said stay and make it work for my family... I was loyal even though I wasn’t happy. I knew going into the relationship we weren’t supposed to be long term.. every time we broke up I felt bad because “I was breaking up the family” and went back... we were totally opposite and I went to counseling before the wedding and I told the counselor well opposites attract right? She said they do, but ppl with like interests and similarities stay together... I was like well 😩 now what.. there was a lot of pressure to MAKE it work.. my mom always said if it don’t fit don’t force it... I absolutely commend people who say no to marriage proposals because they just know it won’t work or to men who’ve been with good women but don’t propose because they know that woman isn’t his wife... I wasn’t strong enough to say no although I know it wasn’t supposed to be. And it doesn’t mean my ex was a horrible person.. we were not compatible.. and I forced something that wasn’t supposed to fit. Wishing him future love and happiness and partnership with someone that’s for him. Everything you said resonates... everything!!
So glad I found this. This gave me the clarity that I needed on letting a marriage go that has been very depressing. I am not happy and it hasn’t been a year yet, which will be next month. However, at 32, I refuse to go another year or even ten years miserable. Thank you for blessing us with your story.
This spoke to me. This was me from age 20- just before my 29th birthday. I literally felt drained trying to make it work. As soon as i left i felt lighter and motivated. I'm now 30 and training in a new career!
This message was meant for me. 13 years in a marriage I should've ended year 2.
1 year into a marriage that must end now. Let me get out please
Bout to hit 2years, and I can’t stay another month. I gots to leave
" I knew going in, going down the aisle, 2 years in, etc... it was a mistake" I have heard this sooooo many MANY times.
God doesn't want us to be miserable. Peace, joy and forgiveness. This forgiveness from ourselves for ourselves. God forgave us already.
I was 25 when I got married and I knew after the honeymoon, I made a poor choice. The red flags appeared before I was married. I'm now divorced and a single mom to 4 kids. Much better off.
Just take your time...pray and wait on GOD's best!
You are never going to get married to a single man, unless maybe a single father
@@CarlosRuiz-gg5wn how do you know🤣🤣🥴
Most men don’t want to get too seriously involved with women that have multiple children, especially young children! That’s just how it is! A single mother of four is not impossible to meet someone who connects with her, but it’ll be a little more difficult! But if being with the husband/father was unbearable you have to move on I guess!
She called it a prison, that’s how I been describing my situation for over 21 years
This is so true! I knew within the first 6 months, but because we had spent so much on the wedding I stayed and hoped it would get better and it never did. Married 6 years and finally got the strength to leave. Thank God my son is just a toddler.
Thank you for this honest and transparent conversation, Mrs. Pope. There are a lot of people (quiet as it's kept) who have married the wrong person and are trying to "stick it out" despite the major issues and the fact that they are incompatible.
one day I realized,"why am I looking to someone else to make me happy? How am I honoring God by sitting and simmering in misery and bitterness?"
'
2 great questions period... Which has NOTHING TO DO WITH MARRIAGE...Alot of it is us needing to become one with Christ.. Marriage is suppose to bring out what you need correcting... The last thing Marriage is about is happiness especially if you looking for someone else to make you happy
When I filed for divorce, my ex mother in law was upset that I wanted to divorce her son. I wasn't happy because of his infidelity and now he has no contact with my daughters and he married his mistress. (I also married at a young age-24)
I stayed in a relationship after he cheated got married, married for ten years he cheated again I divorced last August I'm glad and I'm free God Bless.
This is so true I spent to years trying to convince someone that I was a good Man, and no matter what I did it was never enough. I had to learn that you can't love someone enough that don't truly love you back. Ioved being a husband just praying that God would send me someone that will be my true soulmate.
😊 you got out of the relationship. Nobody wants a cheater!
This is great because churches are teaching that one has to stay.... People are living in such insanity, unhappiness, and pure hell in some circumstances. Being in these circumstances brings a delay in the way one should be going.... God never said we are suppose to live like. Sometimes people are goaded into staying and living in the pressure and demands,,,, God help if youre from a family who is rooted in ministry..OMG...them the other dynamic of "appearances" come into play... People need this...People are being delayed for no reason when one needs to get OUT....It's between yourself and God. People don't have to live with that and they aren't walking in the other shoes...
The church says a lot of things. God gave us a brain to think and we need to use it. The church doesn't have to live in a house where a marriage is not only bad but toxic and sometimes dangerous. I was raised by people who stayed together. I'm 48 now and still bear the scars from their toxic marriage.
Sitting here in tears because everything you’ve said hit home. I just turned 30, married at 25 and have been going through it. Thank you for being lead to post this video because it brought me so much clarity.
This is the realest video regarding divorce from a Christian woman I’ve seen after watching about 50 videos. Thank you 🙏🏽
I can relate. I married at 25 to my college sweetheart right after finishing graduate school. I saw the signs before marriage during premarital counseling but ignored them since we had been together 7 yrs. After a few months in, I knew it was not going to work. I stayed for 3 years. Luckily, we did not have kids. I sold our home before leaving, and so we had no financial ties. No regrets in divorcing.
Hi Aretha, may I ask what were the signs you saw but ignored during pre-marital counseling..?
Would you say you have healed from the divorce?
@@manofvision Absolutely! It ended 20 years ago. I’m also not one to hold on to past hurt. Plus, there was not anything traumatic about the break-up or divorce. It was a clean divorce. I didn’t want anything.
@@ArethaRenee Are you a Christian? And did you remarry?
@@manofvisionJesus is my Lord and Savior; however, I’m not religious. I’m not remarried but am in a long- term, committed relationship.
Thank you soooooo much Rebecca! This message really encouraged and touched me! I am now looking forward to the future and expectant of fruitfulness that will enter my life!!
Rebecca this was the one I absolutely needed. It felt like the truth was staring me in the mirror and I needed to just acknowledge and be okay with that. THANK YOU
This is my story! Thank you for being so transparent!
Hi! Thank you for this! It's 2022 and I just came across this after saying this to myself and having the "Divorce" conversation with my husband. I'm in tears and just praying for strength to actually go through the separation and divorcing period. This marriage has literally been draining me since the beginning and I just can't "fake it" anymore for anyone. I knew from the very beginning that this was NOT the one. I tried to tell others prior to the wedding day however, I was told to put my ring back on or that I just had "pre-wedding jitters" our son is about to turn 4 and I'm hoping that I'm making the right choice at this time for his sake. I'm to the point that I'm just zoning because I'm trying to work through so much! Keep me in prayer we are approaching year 5.
I received this message. Been there and working on me so I will be ready again for the marriage I’m supposed to be in.
AMEN
This video hit hard for those of us on the edge.
So glad to hear this testimony, for I felt so guilty after my divorce. You ask yourself what I should’ve, would’ve, could’ve done differently because of my faith also.. thank you so much for sharing. Confirming I did do the right thing. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Thanks for this message. This is confirmation that I made the right decisions. I was down and out feeling like I was a failure.
Totally agree. I married at 21 and now looking back after 29 years , I would have made different choices.
I waited for the kids to grow up and started over . It’s amazing how much pressure you learn to live under but once your free and your healing comes 🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊
I'ts so nice to hear you met your match the second time. You're a blessed woman! Congratulations! Praise the Lord!
That “dry spot” you talk about was sooooo on point. Very eye opening.
Your story relates so much like mine, i was married at 21, had 2 children and never felt fullfiled inside! 10 years later, I decided to divorce a year ago and everyone is so much happier, we can actually communicate better and our kids 3 and 6 years old our happier without parents arguing all the time! It was for the better. Thank you for this video, I know I’m not alone!
Wow iv never had the courage to leave 😭😭😭😭 15 years,4 kids were do I start from am drained 😭😭😭
This is confirmation that marrying @ young age is not for everybody. When I was in early 20s, I was pressured by all the women in my family to marry my ex-boyfriend. Mainly b/c he was in the military & a good guy, I simply felt we were too young. I wanted to finish college & had plans to travel the world. Long story short, we grew apart and I'm so happy I doubled down on my decision. Also, I've had the opportunity to enjoy being young woman. Now, I'm in 30s, single & childless. I have better sense of what I'm looking for in man/partner. Plus, I've had time to accomplish my dreams & set new goals. I'm just so happy I didn't settle for the 1st man who looked @ me!!
Married according to the word of God and you can't go wrong too Young is not an excuse either with God or without God that's the answer
I really wish family, friends would stop pressuring folks that they need to jump a gadam broom and get married and that it is needed [for whatever reason they think]. Some folks get married and don't even want to be married and daily it is a struggle to do something that they really were not meant to do or at least at that time.
Sounds like you hit the wall.. career over family is a no for me, but whatever makes you happy.
@@godschosen4291 I am happy!!
@@godschosen4291 Sounds like u choose to be a mule! To each is own😏
Listening on 8/2020 and is so real, I wait for 20 years, feeling guilty for the decision of divorce, but now after 11 years of being divorce, I thank God for the decision, not caring what people thinks but to really cares what God want for me, respect and self esteem. Waiting for the one God have for me.
Married at 29. Settled because being married before 30 was the biggest thing ever for me. 3 kids later, 4 kids total. 7 years in and we're both regretful. 3 seperations total. Glad I watched this.
This was so great, thank you for this !!! ✨✨💕💕💕
I left my ex fiancé and that was the best(not one of) decision of my life! I dodged such a huge bullet and I would have never met the amazing women I’m with now!
I needed this. Thank you for your honesty. Trying to leave. Moved out in 6 months of marriage trying to divorce soon while it's 11 months marriage
Wow! I literally searched for this question and listening to you makes me feel so good; because I'm in that situation right now! And you literally explained how I feel. I've been feeling so guilty about having to walk away but I can say, this gives me so much courage and confidence. I have felt really understood from this. Thank you so much dearie. Bless you ❤️
When you changed the camera around and said the light was making you look dark, I felt God put it on my heart to tell you that you are beautiful and dark is beautiful 💗✌🏼
It's ok to look dark 😊💕
I can only say thank YOU.. I needed answers and everything you have said is my life.. I'm in a marriage where I'm miserable not because my wife is a bad person but because we aren't just compatible. For so long ive wanted out but I keep holding on
😢😢😢 you don’t know how much I needed to hear this..thank you
Interestingly maybe you had to spend that 10 years in that relationship because you would have never accomplished what you’ve accomplished and would have not known how good this second relationship is.
I’d say for women 30+ and men 35+ based on what I’ve seen around me.
I really needed to listen to this today !!! thank you so much, you r speaking to me from heavens..
My heart is breaking right now because I know you are telling the truth
Wow this is me, I got divorced after 8 months of marriage. I can honestly say it was the best decision I made to let go. I wasn’t happy and knew it wasn’t the right situation for me. Thank you for this 🙂👏🏽
I got myself out of that toxic relationship it took me 9 Year's and I have 2 kid's but I'm so glad I didn't get married to they father because that was the wrong person and I hate it took me so long to get out but when that soul thes is real but now i got a wonderful God fearing man I'm with now he's my soulmate and the one that God sent to me and my life is better than ever before and I thank him everyday for sending him my way..
I have repented....Asked God for forgiveness....& Im praying & Seeking God for where I belong.....
People make mistakes and God knows this. If a person bought a bad car, how many of you would keep pouring money and time into trying to fix something that is simply unfixable? I'm not saying to not try to fix the marriage, but at some point, if the two parties can't live in peace, move on.
Necessary gems for so many people and I pray they take heed
we don't want to admit our mistakes, thats why we stay, we dont want to admit it to ourselves. its harder to admit we were wrong with our choices, than to prove we were right, so we stay and fight.
You said everything that I have felt for the past 12 years. Thank you for this video. Such a great encouragement!
I definitely believe this is for me.... I came searching for this. 15 years and have been ready to coach since year 1.
I agree with much of what you said from experience, but also the way we are raising our children. They should be more solid in who they are before they turn 30.
Perfectly said . Thank you for speaking the truth that so many of us experience and are not honest enough to open about it .
My last relationship lasted 16 years
should have left sooner unfortunately
he pass away suddenly while in the
relationship it was a sad day of my
life but I wouldn’t have find the man
who I’m suppose to be with and who
is open to marriage It was devastating
the relationship ended in tragedy. God
definitely had something better for me,
I believe things happen for a reason.
Im in a happy space with my new man
with a plan. Thank you for sharing
a plan. I own this ❤️
This is the realest I've listened to about marriage. Others make you feel that your first marriage should be your forever when in fact it wasn't from God and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes people don't reveal themselves until marriage.
God is always on time, I needed this confirmation!!!🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽❤️
💖THANK YOU! Absolutely Necessary🙏🏽Bless You
All praise to the Most High
This highly resonates and I appreciate you sharing your story Queen
Peace love and light
April W
Rebecca...I'm so happy for you GOD is good
Its so sad to see so many married couples unhappy. Am single and listening to there comment. Marriage is a huge commitment and both partners have to communicate about everything to make it work.But if there not the one sent from god then it will not work .
UR EVERY WORD IS HEALING!!![999]
I needed to hear this. I am going through this right now. I was married at 23 years old and I knew within the first year that it was not for me. Then five years in I wanted to divorce but because I was in Church I decided to stay and stick it out. Now going into 22 years married and discovered a while back that my husband is a covert narc. I always felt that something was wrong with him but did not know what it was.
About to leave my marriage of TW0 years so this video is helping a lot.
I admit I have made a mistake.....I am not happy.....Thank you so much for your words of wisdom
I needed this video God bless you!
Thanks i needed to hear this message...ThanksI
I needed to hear this. I married the guy I had my first relationship with at the age of 14. And because I was nieve and not my own individual I agreed and went along with everything he said and did. Now that I ask questions and highlight behaviors it's always a quarrel. I used to be able to talk to him about anything, now he blows up on me. And whenever we're talking/ quarreling about an issue he is always telling me I'm wrong and crazy and the newest title is I'm wicked, and changing the topic. He fails to see my point of view in anything only his logical reasons matter. When I asked if he will go to counseling he said if I have a problem let me go fix myself. I'm now 33years with 2 children and seriously considering divorce.
At the time I wasnt a super religious person but I was not at peace with those relationships that weren't from me. I found that I wasnt challenged to do be my best in those relationships. One was hard to shake because he was a great guy and cared for me. But he didnt challenge me (he agreed with everything I said and do, even though we both had a passion for nutrition and health I wanted to help others and he only wanted it for himself). I did not feel at peace with this person and constantly ran from him. I found that I was attracting men that I didnt respect because I didnt believe I could attract what I wanted. When I started to believe and put action towards my purpose. I meet men that did the same and worked on self development.
The middle paragraph is totally me. I just don't feel peace about the relationship
That's why there's courtship.
Thank YOU, Rebecca. I feel better knowing that the age to get marry as a women is 26 and up, or even 30 and up. I dont feel like I'm so behind since I'm 31 now. I definitely have mature more than my 20s.
@Euphora eup thank you. Your comment is very meaningful
Im in this situation right now. 2 children as well. Wanted to leave but husband in denial that somethings wrong. Married at age 26 husband was 36 at the time. We were friends and got pregnant felt marriage will be the right thing to do. Nothing worse than feeling trapped in marriage with children and spouse not wanting to seek help or let u go.
I could relate to this so much ;( been married to my high school sweetheart for the last 6 years, and the past year or so I feel like I cannot breathe anymore :(
HOW ABOUT 2 DECADES AND HOW ABOUT 3 DAYS IN... 19 YEARS AGO... OH MY GOD, WHY, WHAT HAVE I DONE. I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID THIS. AND EVEN MORE KEPT IN IT ALL THIS TIME AND STILL AM;; GOING RIGHT ON THE SAME DESTRUCTIVE PATH... OH GOD HELP ME!
Thank you for this, i needed this. Bout to hit 2yrs, not happy, not compatible, no social activity connection, we are not even friends, not to talk of best friends. I might pull the plug 🔌.
Thank you so much for this video! Just recently got married less than 1 month ago and it is all wrong
This is exactly my story! Got married at 23 to my wife who was 22. I had only dated one persons and she never dated anyone. We are 10 years into marriage with 2 children And are at a point where the relationship needs to be ended. I believe both of us are too afraid and not ready to deal with that. Sex and intimacy have been an issue since day one and in pre-marriage counseling sex was never addressed other than her saying “it will be fine once we are married.”
Its even worse when you know for sure that its over before its over.
Your story is also my testimony. At 37yrs old I am now starting over again after surviving a very toxic 13 yr marriage with two kids. Thank God for second chances and a peace of mind 🙌
Thank you for this message!!! God bless you🙏❤️
Thank you for this
It be the devil trying to get you to want to stay in a bad relationship. Also the devil wants you to feel ashamed about you being single in your season.
This is Rebecca's story: married young, then felt disappointed by reality. But how can people in general tell how it will work out? And how can you tell if a marriage with problems can be fixed or if the only option for the sanity of the two parties is separation?
I say that because I think many marriages go through hard times. I have listened to Shaunti Feldhahn talk about how marriages that seem on the brink of collapse can be repaired when the women learn to respect the man more, or the man learns to be more kind.
It seems that Rebecca tried everything available, but there may be solutions for other couples in trouble.
It reached me...thank you.🤍
This speaks volumes for me right now!
This is meant for me with every word God gave you here. Thankyou
You are so right because it's so many people get in relationships and God did not put it together that's why it fails all the time that's why this time around God sent me my soulmate he put this relationship together we didn't so I know it's going to go all the way.
God ordained put my relationship together with my soulmate...but just know that we still go through things...It seems Gods favor will allow you to endure and not allow it to break you...Its a blessing through it all..read Hosea...in the bible...God ordained marriage and also how Israel turned their backs on their God..we are Israel today...🙏
Thank you so so much for your inspiration. I was supposed to hear this. You've opened up my mind so much. I'm married for 2 years and I am so miserable 😫 in my marriage. I was trying everything, but nothing is working. This is my second marriage. 😊