I lived with a tumor on the top of my brain stem for nearly two decades. Most days I couldn't keep down my saliva. Was told it was just stress. Have definitely stared into that abyss, brother. Every day of life is a precious gift.
To tell the embarrassing truth, first series of yours that I saw was a bit motivated by the ego boost of seeing my work in action, but as it went on I'm a big fan of your general channel. I can also relate a lot to your experiences. Around two weeks ago I OD'd on ketamine and was clinically dead for like 10 minutes. I know exactly what you're talking about and its spiritual significance. You shouldn't undersell your experience, because you're describing the same thing, and it has nothing to do with death but rather the brain's perception of death and the trauma that follows. I've also stared down the barrel of a gun, and woken up inside a burning building, and even though I was actually quite close to death in those situations I felt pretty normal about it because I had ways to survive. The "near death experience" as a clinical phenomenon occurs when your paleolimbic system is panicking and there are no instincts that can protect you. In other words: When you're dealing with a problem far bigger than anything you could reasonably imagine. My somewhat laboured point is: Give yourself some credit. Based on your hard work and dedication you're clearly handling this like a champ. Just keep being a badass, you know? It's quite liberating after a while. Plus, hours of vomiting actually requires a lot of muscle activity which puts a strain on your blood supply. It is in fact possible to get a heart attack or cardiac arrest from it. So next time you really should call an ambulance if possible. But most importantly: I'm gonna say you've earned the bragging rights, you got some legit death cred.
I appreciate the transparency here - and honesty. Seeing behind the gameplay and into the deeper hearts of the human beings, the gamers, the modders, the content creators - that's what gaming's all about. At least, it should be - just another thing being lost to the generation of 'consume first, give opinions later'. I've read through all your other comments CT and again, I appreciate the honesty and transparency. Thanks for the support and encouraging feedback. One step forward into the abyss and onward does the journey rock and roll on. Rock and roll on my friend.
@@AChillJourney Let me tell you a secret, I avoid talking about this because it's boastful. But in this case I hope to inspire your imagination a bit: - I saved a Palestinian child's life by arranging the passage they needed to an Israeli hospital, and paid off the medical bill for his heart surgery. - I helped a 60 year old war refugee pay his rent and I'm in the progress of helping him reunite with his family. - I managed to hire a bus to bring in friends and loved ones to some political prisoners who spoke up against Britain's arms dealing in the middle east, several of whom were falsely imprisoned. - I've had Palestinian refugees come up to me and shake my hand because of how I protest drone engine factories that sell weapons of war to the middle east. - I've bought medicine for a sick mother who was begging on the streets. - I helped run a food programme for low income families so kids didn't grow up with health problems. - I've given council to troubled youths and helped them out. Some even say I prevented their suicide. - Helped a guy get to the hospital after he suffered a stroke. He had no idea what was happening to him. According to him, I saved his life. - Twi months ago a sick woman came up to me, she was in so much pain that she was crying. Right in the middle of the street, said she was suffering and couldn't afford her prescription. I gave her some cash and she hugged me, she was absolutely besides herself. Everyone else ignored her calls for pain. I don't write this to brag. In fact, this is one of the few times I've even mentioned it. I'm just writing it to show you what's possible. What I can prove to you. I'm not some doctor or some bigshot. Half of this stuff I did when I lived below the poverty line. And I did a lot of it with the help of my ex who also had a chronic pain condition. I've seen first hand someone in your situation thrive and succeed when it comes to this stuff, and I am so happy to see this philosophy grow. I think in many ways you and I are cut from the same cloth, and if I can ever assist you in your efforts to do good, just send me a message, or if you want to talk. Because I think what you're doing is not only important, but also extremely possible. We can all do it in some way or another. Just be a bit careful with homeless people, whenever you do them a favour there is a non-zero chance that they will offer you a condom full of hashish. I personally I draw the line at drugs that's been stewing in someone's ass throughout a 17 hour plane ride from Lebanon.
Well, I'm famously a man without many self-imposed limitations, but i'll be sure to give a second thought to consuming rectally exhumed smokables if/when I encounter them, or I'll at least think of you while I do it. This was definitely an inspiring and encouraging read. Thanks CT. This is reflective of the sort of adventure I hope to forge in the coming months.
Glad to see an up and coming g
My mom has the same thing... you do you :)
Wow - what an adventure! Best of luck my friend - will travel the dusty road with you...well not physically 😄
I hope you succeed in your endeavors with the new channels moving forward. Stay strong and seize the day man, appreciate ya.
thanks Nick - the support means the world.
Congrats on the growth on your channel ChillN and hopefully the situation you're facing will become better.
thanks Rays - much love for the donation. I'm very grateful for that. Here's to the journey ahead.
I lived with a tumor on the top of my brain stem for nearly two decades. Most days I couldn't keep down my saliva. Was told it was just stress. Have definitely stared into that abyss, brother. Every day of life is a precious gift.
Big love dude ❤
sorry to hear that Hub. I appreciate you sharing that - and glad you're around my friend.
I love it, can't wait!
To tell the embarrassing truth, first series of yours that I saw was a bit motivated by the ego boost of seeing my work in action, but as it went on I'm a big fan of your general channel. I can also relate a lot to your experiences. Around two weeks ago I OD'd on ketamine and was clinically dead for like 10 minutes. I know exactly what you're talking about and its spiritual significance. You shouldn't undersell your experience, because you're describing the same thing, and it has nothing to do with death but rather the brain's perception of death and the trauma that follows.
I've also stared down the barrel of a gun, and woken up inside a burning building, and even though I was actually quite close to death in those situations I felt pretty normal about it because I had ways to survive. The "near death experience" as a clinical phenomenon occurs when your paleolimbic system is panicking and there are no instincts that can protect you. In other words: When you're dealing with a problem far bigger than anything you could reasonably imagine.
My somewhat laboured point is: Give yourself some credit. Based on your hard work and dedication you're clearly handling this like a champ. Just keep being a badass, you know? It's quite liberating after a while.
Plus, hours of vomiting actually requires a lot of muscle activity which puts a strain on your blood supply. It is in fact possible to get a heart attack or cardiac arrest from it. So next time you really should call an ambulance if possible. But most importantly: I'm gonna say you've earned the bragging rights, you got some legit death cred.
I appreciate the transparency here - and honesty. Seeing behind the gameplay and into the deeper hearts of the human beings, the gamers, the modders, the content creators - that's what gaming's all about. At least, it should be - just another thing being lost to the generation of 'consume first, give opinions later'. I've read through all your other comments CT and again, I appreciate the honesty and transparency. Thanks for the support and encouraging feedback. One step forward into the abyss and onward does the journey rock and roll on. Rock and roll on my friend.
@@AChillJourney
Let me tell you a secret, I avoid talking about this because it's boastful. But in this case I hope to inspire your imagination a bit:
- I saved a Palestinian child's life by arranging the passage they needed to an Israeli hospital, and paid off the medical bill for his heart surgery.
- I helped a 60 year old war refugee pay his rent and I'm in the progress of helping him reunite with his family.
- I managed to hire a bus to bring in friends and loved ones to some political prisoners who spoke up against Britain's arms dealing in the middle east, several of whom were falsely imprisoned.
- I've had Palestinian refugees come up to me and shake my hand because of how I protest drone engine factories that sell weapons of war to the middle east.
- I've bought medicine for a sick mother who was begging on the streets.
- I helped run a food programme for low income families so kids didn't grow up with health problems.
- I've given council to troubled youths and helped them out. Some even say I prevented their suicide.
- Helped a guy get to the hospital after he suffered a stroke. He had no idea what was happening to him. According to him, I saved his life.
- Twi months ago a sick woman came up to me, she was in so much pain that she was crying. Right in the middle of the street, said she was suffering and couldn't afford her prescription. I gave her some cash and she hugged me, she was absolutely besides herself. Everyone else ignored her calls for pain.
I don't write this to brag. In fact, this is one of the few times I've even mentioned it.
I'm just writing it to show you what's possible. What I can prove to you. I'm not some doctor or some bigshot. Half of this stuff I did when I lived below the poverty line.
And I did a lot of it with the help of my ex who also had a chronic pain condition. I've seen first hand someone in your situation thrive and succeed when it comes to this stuff, and I am so happy to see this philosophy grow.
I think in many ways you and I are cut from the same cloth, and if I can ever assist you in your efforts to do good, just send me a message, or if you want to talk.
Because I think what you're doing is not only important, but also extremely possible. We can all do it in some way or another.
Just be a bit careful with homeless people, whenever you do them a favour there is a non-zero chance that they will offer you a condom full of hashish.
I personally I draw the line at drugs that's been stewing in someone's ass throughout a 17 hour plane ride from Lebanon.
Well, I'm famously a man without many self-imposed limitations, but i'll be sure to give a second thought to consuming rectally exhumed smokables if/when I encounter them, or I'll at least think of you while I do it. This was definitely an inspiring and encouraging read. Thanks CT. This is reflective of the sort of adventure I hope to forge in the coming months.