One cannot relinquish the self, without constant self reflection and direction. I love it. It reminds me of the book of Matthew. The contradicting duality of the beatitudes carry more and more wisdom, the older i become.
Maybe there is also some truth to the idea of the death drive, but to me this type of self-sabotage seems to much more obviously be a maladaptive response to past trauma (especially childhood trauma). The philosopher Stefan Molyneux talks about this a lot, how each of us has an internal mother/father/parental figure who is imprinted within our psyche, who is a reflection of our actual parents growing up. Ideally this should be a good thing, with the inner parent giving you positive guidance in life, but in the case of abusive parents this inner parent will often sabotage our attempts at self-improvement. When you grow up with a bad parent, it then becomes the job of your internal parent to tell you what not to do, to avoid angering them and getting in trouble. It becomes a self-preservation instinct. However, when you become an adult these conditioned behaviors are no longer necessary, and can become extremely toxic, leading to various kinds of self-sabotage and unhealthy behaviors. In essence, it is these unhealthy behaviors people are conditioned into during childhood which are responsible for the self-sabotage. The inner parent will try to prevent them from escaping into a better life, as deep down our subconscious still believes we are that little child. It takes a lot of work to deprogram this. I suppose this can also be caused by other forms of trauma outside of child abuse, such as the victims of PTSD from WW1 described by Freud, but childhood trauma is by far the most common source. Stefan has done thousands of call-ins with his viewers to discuss their problems, and every time their problematic behaviors stem back to some kind of dysfunctions in their upbringing.
We want to be loved unconditionally and we want to prove that others will see our worth without success and in our worst moments. It is a flaw in how we seek attention
Your video turned up just at the right moment, I needed to hear that today :) Honestly, that's one of the best written things I've seen on youtube. I like the humour too. May you go from strength to strength!
I have found that with mindfulness is karma. Karma asks us what changes in life we wish to see, and how can we give this away. This is kaivala Yoga. The yoga of service. We cannot do it alone.
This is my second video of yours that I’ve watched and although things have repeated a bit it’s still info that’s good to remember. I went and downloaded your mindfulness book and I’m looking forward to introducing it into daily life when possible. Thank you for writing something that can help everyone and making it free! You are unparalleled ❤
Those who have trouble sleeping, particularly falling asleep, this could be due, as it is with me, to an unwillingness to relinquish oneself to what Shakespeare called the counterfeit of death- sleep. As a child I never wanted to go to bed but always wanted to stay up as late as possible. The love of life I experienced as a child made the thought of suicide, when I was told about it as a reality some individuals succumbed to, seemed to my mind a virtual impossibility. A child’s concept of death is always something that happens to some other living thing, a bug, a dog or an aged relative. Their own death is never a real thing. The awakening to one’s mortality is the first existential trauma for the developing psyche. All other traumas are recoverable. Material death of the body is the sting that haunts us till…
There are two types of insomnia and those are sleep onset, trouble falling asleep, and sleep maintenance, trouble staying asleep. The most common form by far is sleep onset insomnia and luckily there are some pretty simple/easy techniques one can use to overcome it. There is a simple sort of breathing exercise one can do to calm/still the mind and fall asleep fairly quickly. First get comfortable and start by tightening all of the muscles in your feet, curl your toes, tighten the muscles in your legs, core, etc, lift your arms and squeeze your hands into fists, and tighten all of the muscles in your face. Then breathe in deeply through your nose while all muscles are tight and then release the muscles at the same time you do a heavy sigh. Follow that with 3 deep breaths through the nose and 3 more sighs through the mouth. Then try and count breaths but backwards in a 4 in, 6 out pattern. If you have heartbeat awareness, count heart beats instead of just counting. When counting, do it like "4, 3, 2, 1". Rather quickly you should fall asleep and even if extremely stressed and full of caffeine. Also, if you find yourself tired throughout the day I'd highly recommend checking out "yoga nidra", or "non-sleep deep rest" in scientific literature, to recover your restful state. It is almost like magic in how well it works. Well I should say it works extremely well for about 2/3rds of the population and the other 1/3rd it is more of a relaxing kind of thing vs sleep recovery.
This was a great video. I think your redemption of Thanatos through the reference to “rot” media will resonate with plenty of people (myself included). I recently found your content and am looking forward to more of your stuff 👍 Also, do you study psychology at University?
So great to hear that you enjoyed it. Definitely a lot more to come. University was a while ago, but I have a background in law, psychology and anthropology!
Denying the death drive and waiting for,it to pass contradicts what Spielrein wrote about the importance of the creative/destructive dynamic that is at the heart of…..
Turns out that my problems weren’t as unique and special as I had assumed (to the contrary, they were closer to being universal rather than particular to myself).
@@mysmirandam.6618 Expect what of the Other? No, I’m just a Freudian/Lacanian who believes in their theory of subjectivity. That is to say, Thanatos/“Death Drive” is Universal to all Subjects. We never stop playing “Fort/Da,” we just make up more complicated rules as we get older and enter into the Symbolic realm. Check out Freud’s book _Beyond the pleasure principle_ And then read Lacan’s essay _The mirror stage_ if you want to understand what I’m trying to tell you. Take care!
I liked your video, but the very short loop of music that was playing incessantly was driving me absolutely insane. It was making my death Drive seem absolutely enticing. :) Loops that play for that long can't be just five or six seconds long.
It should be noted that Freud’s reference to the evil impulses in mankind that exist in all of its individual members is but an affirmation of the Christian doctrine that the devil Satan is the ruler of this world.
To be honest, as someone that has trouble with navigating the mindfulness/meditation sphere and finding a valid text(usually being blocked by a paywall), I humbly thank you for the ebook. If you have any recommendations about books for meditation and such, let me know!!
Also: self-authorship is great but existential theory takes no account of physiology, which ultimately signs off on, or sabotages, our existential aspirations. You can make all the “choices” you like, but chronic pain can keep you immobile. As a perimenopausal woman, the amount of “me” that’s available fluctuates from day to day depending on the amount of testosterone/oestrogen/progesterone available to me. It’s a humbling perspective: we are our hormones. This doesn’t discount the value of mindfulness, but it has to be taken into account because the choices we make are never free of a physiological context.
Beautifully put point. I had a chance to raise a question about responsibility with Sapolsky during one of his lectures. I love and greatly respect his work, but I was ultimately dissatisfied with the "we are our hormones perspective", precisely because it failed to account for the existential relevance of responsibility. His colleague and my other great inspiration, Irvin D. Yalom, found a sense of existential responsibility to be the primary difference between people who feel debilitating death anxiety later in their life, and people who don't. All this said, I agree with you and Sapolsky about the fact that hormones determine our lives to a great extent, or even the greatest extent. I think of self-authorship as a powerful little tool in the great ocean of forces acting on us beyond our control, so I'm very open to hearing perspectives that can bridge that gap that Rollo May calls the schism between what is empirically true and what is existentially relevant. Thanks again for your wonderful points.
@@yepicurus And many thanks for your great, and substantial, reply. There's lots to think about here, not least the Rollo May schism, and I'll certainly continue thinking about all this.
I’m curious as to how psychodynamic theory integrates what we now know, from a neurobiological perspective, about ADHD. Because ADHD manifests many aspects of the death drive, chiefly overwhelm and paralysis. And much of this is aided and abetted by comparatively recent technological advances, since each of us now has their own portable distraction/dissociation machine.
"Death drive" is dramatic. This sounds like a manifestation of needing control. Seeding control is control. In another way, Having control over how you fail is less scary than actually trying and being uncertain of the outcome. "Death drive" implies an instinct therefore separating you from your actions in this regard, thus entertaining inaction and reenforcing the concept.
anybody else spend months saving money then have one bad day that turns into week long drug binges. spend all the money saved up. ruining relationships. OVER DRUGS I DONT ECEN FUCKING ENJOY
AND WATCH YOUR VIDEO TO OF COURSE as have I and will at other times. fortunetly I already follow a philosiphy and Religion that has helped guided me all these exact same lessons in a natural concurrent way that has been best tailored for myself, but it is also informative seeing a digestably short essay on the same lessons. both sources of knowledge i refer to being neither spiritual pipedreams or self decietful, and its absolutely excellent to see that otehr people are inclined to agree with the same secular based psychology
self-authorization as you coined it, giving yourself direction and trusting your Daemons otherwise originally known as "guiding spirits" ratehr than focusing in and feeding on the vampiric through abstinance and de-fortification, missappropriatly placed destruction or compulsivity, a sort of cognative decay that runs concurrent in this Age
I'm doing well, sir thank you! how about you? you have a very pleasant speaking voice and I always did like Indian accents. where are you from? I visited Varanasi once and bathed in the Ganges. the entire trip was such a memorable experience. thank you for this educational video, sir. ttyl, buddy! 🙂👋🏻
Don't read too much into it, bored internet person. I use her first name because her last name was harder to pronounce and I kept messing it up in recording. Also it's Sabina, not Sabrina. Interesting how you accurately spelt every word of that sentence apart from her name. 🤔
tiny.cc/MementoYOLO for the free ebook Mindfulness for Overthinkers! And email is yepicurusmedia@gmail.com
Inertia/overwhelm/paralysis has been a problem for me my entire life.
Thank you for this, I've downloaded the video.
❤
One cannot relinquish the self, without constant self reflection and direction. I love it. It reminds me of the book of Matthew. The contradicting duality of the beatitudes carry more and more wisdom, the older i become.
Thank you again.
Sometimes we just need simple reminders.
Maybe there is also some truth to the idea of the death drive, but to me this type of self-sabotage seems to much more obviously be a maladaptive response to past trauma (especially childhood trauma). The philosopher Stefan Molyneux talks about this a lot, how each of us has an internal mother/father/parental figure who is imprinted within our psyche, who is a reflection of our actual parents growing up. Ideally this should be a good thing, with the inner parent giving you positive guidance in life, but in the case of abusive parents this inner parent will often sabotage our attempts at self-improvement. When you grow up with a bad parent, it then becomes the job of your internal parent to tell you what not to do, to avoid angering them and getting in trouble. It becomes a self-preservation instinct. However, when you become an adult these conditioned behaviors are no longer necessary, and can become extremely toxic, leading to various kinds of self-sabotage and unhealthy behaviors.
In essence, it is these unhealthy behaviors people are conditioned into during childhood which are responsible for the self-sabotage. The inner parent will try to prevent them from escaping into a better life, as deep down our subconscious still believes we are that little child. It takes a lot of work to deprogram this.
I suppose this can also be caused by other forms of trauma outside of child abuse, such as the victims of PTSD from WW1 described by Freud, but childhood trauma is by far the most common source. Stefan has done thousands of call-ins with his viewers to discuss their problems, and every time their problematic behaviors stem back to some kind of dysfunctions in their upbringing.
We want to be loved unconditionally and we want to prove that others will see our worth without success and in our worst moments. It is a flaw in how we seek attention
Self sabotage is my number one problem
Its so prominent these days. I'll keep making videos which will hopefully help at least a little bit.
Same!
What a clear presentation of the death drive, just found your channel and absolutely love it!
Thanks so much!
Your perspective is quite interesting and gives something to ponder on. I love it❤
Thanks so much!
Your video turned up just at the right moment, I needed to hear that today :) Honestly, that's one of the best written things I've seen on youtube. I like the humour too. May you go from strength to strength!
So lovely to hear this, thank you so much!
Absolutely love your thought process
Thank you so much! 🙏
this was a brilliant video and thank you for sharing this.
Thanks for watching!!
Very well done, absolutely relevant to my life right now. Thank you.
You're most welcome!
Outstanding narration
Thank you so much
I have found that with mindfulness is karma. Karma asks us what changes in life we wish to see, and how can we give this away. This is kaivala Yoga. The yoga of service. We cannot do it alone.
This is my second video of yours that I’ve watched and although things have repeated a bit it’s still info that’s good to remember. I went and downloaded your mindfulness book and I’m looking forward to introducing it into daily life when possible. Thank you for writing something that can help everyone and making it free! You are unparalleled ❤
Thanks so much! Appreciate your kind feedback!
This is excellent content, as is the ebook. Thank you so very much!
Your Channel is GREAT ❤
Those who have trouble sleeping, particularly falling asleep, this could be due, as it is with me, to an unwillingness to relinquish oneself to what Shakespeare called the counterfeit of death- sleep. As a child I never wanted to go to bed but always wanted to stay up as late as possible. The love of life I experienced as a child made the thought of suicide, when I was told about it as a reality some individuals succumbed to, seemed to my mind a virtual impossibility. A child’s concept of death is always something that happens to some other living thing, a bug, a dog or an aged relative. Their own death is never a real thing. The awakening to one’s mortality is the first existential trauma for the developing psyche. All other traumas are recoverable. Material death of the body is the sting that haunts us till…
There are two types of insomnia and those are sleep onset, trouble falling asleep, and sleep maintenance, trouble staying asleep. The most common form by far is sleep onset insomnia and luckily there are some pretty simple/easy techniques one can use to overcome it. There is a simple sort of breathing exercise one can do to calm/still the mind and fall asleep fairly quickly. First get comfortable and start by tightening all of the muscles in your feet, curl your toes, tighten the muscles in your legs, core, etc, lift your arms and squeeze your hands into fists, and tighten all of the muscles in your face. Then breathe in deeply through your nose while all muscles are tight and then release the muscles at the same time you do a heavy sigh. Follow that with 3 deep breaths through the nose and 3 more sighs through the mouth. Then try and count breaths but backwards in a 4 in, 6 out pattern. If you have heartbeat awareness, count heart beats instead of just counting. When counting, do it like "4, 3, 2, 1". Rather quickly you should fall asleep and even if extremely stressed and full of caffeine. Also, if you find yourself tired throughout the day I'd highly recommend checking out "yoga nidra", or "non-sleep deep rest" in scientific literature, to recover your restful state. It is almost like magic in how well it works. Well I should say it works extremely well for about 2/3rds of the population and the other 1/3rd it is more of a relaxing kind of thing vs sleep recovery.
Id like to think that youve targeted this to people who needed to hear it. thank you :)
That was the intention. And you're very welcome ❤️
This was a great video. I think your redemption of Thanatos through the reference to “rot” media will resonate with plenty of people (myself included). I recently found your content and am looking forward to more of your stuff 👍
Also, do you study psychology at University?
So great to hear that you enjoyed it. Definitely a lot more to come. University was a while ago, but I have a background in law, psychology and anthropology!
This is the content i am here for. Btw, you seem Malayalee! കിടിലൻ കൻ്റെൻ്റ് കേട്ടോ ❤
Thangyou aliya :)
I find your perspective very interesting! So many possibilities.
Cheers!
Wow, love your content! Excited to watch your channel grow
Thank you 🙏🌱
Denying the death drive and waiting for,it to pass contradicts what Spielrein wrote about the importance of the creative/destructive dynamic that is at the heart of…..
Good thing we know there are many more motivations for human behavior now. That said, Dr Freud is one of the forefathers of psychology.
A balanced perspective is one of the most refreshing things to see in a YT comments section. Kudos!
very few people even come so deep. because first step is to see that you are the problem. and for 90% of people its insufferable.
Thank you
Thank you for uploading this great analysis! 🙏
You're most welcome, friend.
Did you write a story of my life?
Turns out that my problems weren’t as unique and special as I had assumed (to the contrary, they were closer to being universal rather than particular to myself).
@dethkon, you must be on your own side, especially if u expect this of others.
@@mysmirandam.6618 Expect what of the Other? No, I’m just a Freudian/Lacanian who believes in their theory of subjectivity. That is to say, Thanatos/“Death Drive” is Universal to all Subjects. We never stop playing “Fort/Da,” we just make up more complicated rules as we get older and enter into the Symbolic realm.
Check out Freud’s book _Beyond the pleasure principle_ And then read Lacan’s essay _The mirror stage_ if you want to understand what I’m trying to tell you. Take care!
@@dethkon kinda like an adrenaline junkie does? The opposite of rage against the dying of the light
@@mysmirandam.6618 Nice metaphor!
Fantastic video, brother. Subscribed. Bravo! 👏
Truly appreciate that, thank you!
Move forward in life with confidence
Thank you for this. It is incredibly insightful.
You're most welcome!
I liked your video, but the very short loop of music that was playing incessantly was driving me absolutely insane. It was making my death Drive seem absolutely enticing. :) Loops that play for that long can't be just five or six seconds long.
Noted, the feedback is valuable!
thank you so much,much love❤
You're most welcome!
Thank you for taking the time to make these videos. They truly help make this world a better, safer and kinder place. ❤
Thank you so much for these kind words, friend.
Story of my life searching for the right but it keeps avoiding me..🎶🎵
It should be noted that Freud’s reference to the evil impulses in mankind that exist in all of its individual members is but an affirmation of the Christian doctrine that the devil Satan is the ruler of this world.
Any book recommendations related to this problem?
I stayed, for the "happy ending."
Haha, I also do birthdays.
Can’t find your email. Great piece!
yepicurusmedia (at) gmail (dot) com
Excellent vid✌️
According to Ms. Spielrein the death drive is itself inherently life affirming. That is it’s paradox.
That's right. She is alluding to the principle of enantiodromia (a Jungian concept), which is in fact going to be subject of my next long-form video.
Amazing video thank you
You're most welcome!
Submission and masochism might have something to do with as well the desire to have a more powerful other take over your life
First, thank you so much for exposing me to the death drive. I'd not heard of it.
I looked for the ebook, but Google couldn't find the url.
Thanks so much for watching! I've linked the book in the comments section. Here is a link again: tiny.cc/MementoYOLO
To be honest, as someone that has trouble with navigating the mindfulness/meditation sphere and finding a valid text(usually being blocked by a paywall), I humbly thank you for the ebook. If you have any recommendations about books for meditation and such, let me know!!
Wherever You Go, There You Are - Jon Kabat-Zinn is excellent.
Also: self-authorship is great but existential theory takes no account of physiology, which ultimately signs off on, or sabotages, our existential aspirations. You can make all the “choices” you like, but chronic pain can keep you immobile. As a perimenopausal woman, the amount of “me” that’s available fluctuates from day to day depending on the amount of testosterone/oestrogen/progesterone available to me. It’s a humbling perspective: we are our hormones.
This doesn’t discount the value of mindfulness, but it has to be taken into account because the choices we make are never free of a physiological context.
Beautifully put point.
I had a chance to raise a question about responsibility with Sapolsky during one of his lectures. I love and greatly respect his work, but I was ultimately dissatisfied with the "we are our hormones perspective", precisely because it failed to account for the existential relevance of responsibility.
His colleague and my other great inspiration, Irvin D. Yalom, found a sense of existential responsibility to be the primary difference between people who feel debilitating death anxiety later in their life, and people who don't.
All this said, I agree with you and Sapolsky about the fact that hormones determine our lives to a great extent, or even the greatest extent.
I think of self-authorship as a powerful little tool in the great ocean of forces acting on us beyond our control, so I'm very open to hearing perspectives that can bridge that gap that Rollo May calls the schism between what is empirically true and what is existentially relevant.
Thanks again for your wonderful points.
@@yepicurus And many thanks for your great, and substantial, reply. There's lots to think about here, not least the Rollo May schism, and I'll certainly continue thinking about all this.
I’m curious as to how psychodynamic theory integrates what we now know, from a neurobiological perspective, about ADHD. Because ADHD manifests many aspects of the death drive, chiefly overwhelm and paralysis. And much of this is aided and abetted by comparatively recent technological advances, since each of us now has their own portable distraction/dissociation machine.
Your work is amazing! Where are you from?
"Death drive" is dramatic. This sounds like a manifestation of needing control. Seeding control is control. In another way, Having control over how you fail is less scary than actually trying and being uncertain of the outcome. "Death drive" implies an instinct therefore separating you from your actions in this regard, thus entertaining inaction and reenforcing the concept.
I agree w/ this theory. Been there, done that. Terrible place to be.
And when it passes, it feels like a new lease on life. Hopefully this video helps people work through that process a bit.
anybody else spend months saving money then have one bad day that turns into week long drug binges. spend all the money saved up. ruining relationships. OVER DRUGS I DONT ECEN FUCKING ENJOY
use yellow subtitles yepi. it s easier to read when the background is white
The captioning is unnecessary and distracting. UA-cam offers a captioning option.
Thanks for the feedback
I feel seen.
I'm truly glad.
you got me 🙈
Thanks so much!
I'll stop when they do.
21:00
or she coulda just... you know
reschedueled XD
AND WATCH YOUR VIDEO TO OF COURSE as have I and will at other times.
fortunetly I already follow a philosiphy and Religion that has helped guided me all these exact same lessons in a natural concurrent way that has been best tailored for myself, but it is also informative seeing a digestably short essay on the same lessons. both sources of knowledge i refer to being neither spiritual pipedreams or self decietful, and its absolutely excellent to see that otehr people are inclined to agree with the same secular based psychology
self-authorization as you coined it, giving yourself direction and trusting your Daemons otherwise originally known as "guiding spirits" ratehr than focusing in and feeding on the vampiric through abstinance and de-fortification, missappropriatly placed destruction or compulsivity, a sort of cognative decay that runs concurrent in this Age
Check out G I Gurdjieff. He will show you the keys
Just stop war
Can we be friends?
Of course, friend! How are you today?
I'm doing well, sir thank you!
how about you?
you have a very pleasant speaking voice and I always did like Indian accents. where are you from? I visited Varanasi once and bathed in the Ganges. the entire trip was such a memorable experience.
thank you for this educational video, sir.
ttyl, buddy! 🙂👋🏻
Death drive
Yupyup
There is no death drive.
Thankfully, I address this in my video too.
Interesting that you refer to male scholars by their last names but “Sabrina” is, erm, just “Sabrina.” 🤔
Don't read too much into it, bored internet person. I use her first name because her last name was harder to pronounce and I kept messing it up in recording.
Also it's Sabina, not Sabrina. Interesting how you accurately spelt every word of that sentence apart from her name. 🤔