I am OVERWHELMED by the support I've received here. Thank you all. Love you all. I'll be replying to every single one of you. I want to reiterate what I said about being a "Zombie" because there seems to be some confusion: I am NOT saying everyone who goes into medicine becomes a Zombie; the biggest mentors in my entire life are practicing, world-changing clinicians. If I stayed practicing clinical medicine, I would 100% become a Zombie. And life is too short. The only question you need to ask yourself is, "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" For those going into medicine or who are in medicine: We are so honored to have this opportunity to work with people who are at one of the most scary times in their lives. Truly privileged. No one, no one at all, experiences something as unique as being with people at the crucible of their life. You have the opportunity to change people's lives. Lean in. Pay attention to healing pain, whether it's through medical interventions or just talking to people. Pay attention to your team. Pay attention to your thoughts. Your patients are everything. Love, Zach P.S. Added time-stamps: 0:00 I Quit 1:00 Getting into Medical School 18:00 Medical School: 30:00 Juice →? Squeeze 38:00 Residency 49:00 Why I Left 1:02 Summary and what's next P.P.S. Thank you so much to the teachers, clinicians, hospital workers, patients, and mentors I've met online and in person throughout this career. You have changed my life.
Wow! I went through a version of this when deciding to leave my PhD position. My life's dream was to have a Dr title in front of my name in my field. Academia was so incredibly toxic and the more I was in it the more disappointed I was with it. My goal was and still is to help others as an environmental biologist. Making the decision to leave research and the months after were quite a process.
Are you sure this isn't your suppressed depression talking. I'm saying this because I myself am a med student struggling through med school and I wanted to quit some time ago. Somewhere deep in my heart I thought I wasn't built for medicine and I would just tell myself I'm not worth it and that I don't deserve to be here. But all that changed since I went to my Psychiatrist who also happens to be my dad himself and he started me on meds. Today I feel so much better thank God and I see that I am pushing myself to my utmost limits and preparing for STEP 1 even though I know I'm not the smartest nor the most hardworking but I believe that I do have a purpose and I feel the need to provide and work hard to add value to the society I live in and possibly become a global citizen one day. Sometimes you just need to give yourself more time and realize that you are more capable than you think. Please try to find happiness within yourself and not in what you do. Take care of yourself and I hope you end up at a better place than where you are at the moment. Yours truly, Another social being somewhere on the opposite side of the globe... KEEP SMILING!
Hi Zach. I am a dermatologist working in my own private practice. A lot of what you said in your video really resonated with me. I think much of what you felt during medical school and training is moral injury. There are so many issues with the medical training process (Hazing, unchecked power of those in charge, cult-like behaviors, lack of teaching, neglect, etc) as well as the American healthcare system at large (major inequities, lack of focus on patient quality of life, insurance and corporate mandates, lack of physician autonomy). It's a system that routinely disenfranchises amazing people like you who patients would be lucky to have as their physician. Take it from someone who disliked most of med school and residency.....and who largely enjoys practicing as an attending which is MUCH better. It isn't perfect, but it is fulfilling. I encourage you to re-visit your decision after taking some time to yourself and consider finishing residency. You can even choose a job working 1 or 2 days a week while you pursue your other ventures. But above all, always do what is best for you. You are the captain of your life. The juice is certainly worth the squeeze.
Hey Salamano, I added a pinned comment that I think replies to this comment, but I want to reiterate that I still think medicine is a great place to be, really. Truly there is no opportunity like it. We are so honored to have this opportunity to work with people who are at one of the most scary times in their lives. Truly privileged. No one, no one at all, experiences something as unique as being with people at the crucible of their life. You have the opportunity to change people's lives. Lean in. Pay attention to healing pain, whether it's through medical interventions or just talking to people. Pay attention to your team. Pay attention to your thoughts. Your patients are everything. Love, Zach
Hey Zach, I've been a big fan of yours for years, I remember watching your videos during exam time for motivation and here I am, I recently graduated med school here in Ethiopia. I didn't have your level of excitement and passion for medicine, but I wanted a challenge, and help people like everyone says 😅. I have thought about quitting countless times but like you said, I talked myself into finishing by saying it will be better after I graduate. I then saw and heard how doctors are getting overworked and underpaid like most countries do which became the last straw for me. Being a doctor is amazing that's for sure, but I believed this is not the way that I am supposed to help. So then I shifted my interest to technology and look for ways to help patients get better healthcare in my country. I'm just starting this journey and hopefully will get to where I want to be and thats what I wish for you doc. Its an exciting life ahead and good luck doc 🫡
Video Summary: - endless sacrifices to get into med school from: 2 year post bacc and 1 gap year - he enjoyed learning about medicine and did well in school. wasn’t sure on which speciality ended up deciding on internal med because didn’t want life of a surgeon or OB/Gyn - internal medicine residency was hard for him. - felt like he was a zombie in medicine - he felt like the residents and fellows are also destroyed. some of the residents were sighing about the tasks and responsibilities they had to do and it was draining to see. - his intern year was rough, he felt like he was operating on 15% on battery savings mode. - he was drained and not happy - there are some people like his Cardiac surgeon he shadowed was passionate and it was a full filling job to that surgeon why he made the decision: - good: growth and camarade he enjoyed - bad: time sacrifice, fitness & health decline, general life things, and administration BS. (95%). He questioned his impact that he was making. - He was not happy. - ugly: “the destruction of brilliance” the fellows and residents were good people but they were being crushed. - no longer wanted to be a zombie This was a well made reflective video Zach! Thank you for taking us on your journey over the years! Best of luck to you on your future endeavors. Excited to see what’s next!
@@mattwalker9647 Studying and working with other people are different IMO. I could study all day but burning out can be easily triggered by the wrong people you work with and the lack of appreciation that you may get. Nonetheless, it is ironic and sad to see this happen
My jaw dropped when I read the title. Zach, you have helped me so much in my academic journey as an undergraduate student. I am applying to medical school this year and SKMC was one of the schools I applied to SPECIFICALLY because of you. I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in this video.
@@ZachHighley You’re welcome! This journey taught you a lot about yourself and you made a decision accordingly. We will all be here to witness and support the next phase of your life. Remember: When this decision comes back to pester your thoughts and emotions(and it will), watch this video as a reminder that you made the right decision.
I'm a 4th year med student at the same med school you went to, and I remember meeting you one time 2 years ago on a rooftop at one of the fraternity parties. I just watched your entire video and cannot express just how much I agree with your sentiment. I remember going into medical school feeling similarly to how you did, and by the time third year came around, I was completely checked out. My first rotation was OBGYN too, and the residents (and sadly some of my fellow med students) that I met during that rotation made me realize just how awful the rest of the year would be. The never-ending feeling of needing to impress others just to get good grades, having to "compete" with other med students who would always try to one-up you and do the most, spending insane hours on your feet and in the hospital (I would definitely cry if I had to do 4am-10pm shifts regularly), and the feeling that you weren't really doing many meaningful things to help patients. I just absolutely hate dealing with it now. I'm post-ERAS and while I'm applying to a specialty that I think I might ultimately enjoy, thinking about having to spend my intern year doing floor medicine is so depressing. On all my rotations now I am just constantly thinking of how much I don't want to be there. I will (hopefully) end up finishing residency, but to be honest, if I had another good option I would likely take it. Good luck to you with everything though.
Reminds me of Ali Abdaal who left medicine in similar way and now he is having more bigger impact on society across the globe. I know you too will do something big impactful in life as well. Wish you all the best for the future .
@@ZachHighleyYour medical school experience was still valuable. As a doctor you understand people and the world in a way many other people do not. Exciting times lie ahead!
Zach-unbelievable video. Not sure how it ended up in my line-up. I’m a 71 yo OBGyn , now semi-retired. Your video struck me deeply. Medicine is such a sacrifice, not just the personal sacrifice, but the effect on my family, kids, marriage. The interactions with patients can be soooo satisfying , but those sometimes seem so rare and random. The administration of medicine is very difficult, especially the EMR practice of medicine. I am currently working with the underserved, thinking it was more worthy. I still can feel under appreciated in a situation in which I am really needed. The burnout is real. It’s too bad.
Medical school and residency shattered me. The pressure, the sacrifices, the abuse, the perpetual exhaustion, the stress. But I pushed through it, because the idea of not completing it didn't even occur to me honestly. When I finished internal medicine residency, I thought it was a new start for me. I felt like everything was going to be better. I made it through four years of clinical practice, but the life was gradually draining out of me, and I always felt like the workload was just a massive weight on my shoulders that I could never get on top of. Patients/families were never happy and/or were often downright angry. I often worked 12 hour days, 7 days a week, with very little support or acknowledgement of any kind. I was becoming increasingly depressed. One day I left work in 2018, and drove myself straight to another hospital, to check into emerg as a patient myself. I could not stand living one more day feeling the way I was feeling, and knew I wasn't going to make it if I didn't do something drastic. I was admitted to the psych unit for four months with severe depression. It has been over six years now, and several psych admissions later, and I still haven't returned to full time internal medicine. I have not been able to beat the depression, so this year I underwent deep brain stimulation surgery in a final effort to get it under control. I think it may be helping to some extent. I do the occasional on call shift or cover for a colleague at the hospital, but I can feel the anxiety and the stress the moment I step through those doors. Honestly some days I can barely manage to take care of myself, let alone be responsible for the wellbeing of so many others. But I have not been able to let medicine go completely. It's all I know, and all I've known since I first started medical school almost twenty years ago. Should I have quit medicine a long time ago? Perhaps. I'm honestly not sure. I know I care about people, and I care about doing good work, but I now feel very weak and tired and beaten down. Leaving medicine would be a very scary and hard decision to make. Kudos to you for having the strength to do so if you knew in your heart that it wasn't for you. Life is too short to make such huge sacrifices if they don't bring you happiness and peace.
Hope your doing better. The system is so broken. It is crazy how so many people are having the same exact experience and yet it is still so tabu to talk about it .
@@user-iu5pl1de5d it's a work in progress. Hard to recover from such a mental and physical decline. But I work on it every day. And I choose to talk about my struggles openly... I don't care what other people think. It should NEVER be a shameful thing to be struggling with mental health, especially not amongst medical learners and physicians. Our culture sucks... It offers no support, and perpetually fosters this BS that you should be happy to work beyond exhaustion with a permanent smile on your face, to your own detriment, and never admit that sometimes it sucks or that you're miserable. If my candidness can make ONE other person feel a bit less alone, then it was worth it.
Watching for over an hour was a breeze because your vulnerability and willingness to share your story are so rare. You are an inspiration and will continue to be in your career as long as you are able to fill your own cup as well. I'm not in the medical field-environmental justice actually-but your organization and study videos have been an immense help to me. Cheers to finding a path where the juice is well worth the squeeze.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve_porassss . I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I’ve never related to a story more. As someone in the middle of applying to medical school, the constant email refreshing, the stress of applying ruining an amazing family trip in Canada, and the constant, awkward conversations when people ask what's next-it’s all too familiar. I used to feel like I was going through it alone, but knowing that so many others are dealing with the same challenges brings a real sense of solidarity. I truly believe that with the dedication we've all shown throughout this process, we all could excel in any field. Best of luck to you, Zach. I have no doubt you'll find happiness and success wherever life takes you.
This takes more courage than getting into medical school in the first place. Good on you, man. I'm sure you'll do well in whatever you pursue. Nice to see people like Ali Abdaal and now Zach exercising their autonomy in life. 👏👏👏
Hello Dr. Zach. I'm also a doctor. I've taken 7 years off. However I'm going to reenter again. I found that working in a group practice is not for me. The administrative ups and downs can be too chaotic. However, once you become board certified as a physician, you can do anything. I didn't let a few bad actors sway me from leaving healthcare. I decided to do it on my own. I will disagree with you that medicine does not do a lot to help society. Most of us would be dead by the age of 40 if it wasn't for modern medicine. I look forward to hearing more about your adventures. Thank you for your honesty. Brene Brown PhD, vulnerability and shame, would be really proud of you for all the honesty you have provided your audience. Carpe diem.
@@TheCuratorIsHere I don’t necessarily disagree with you. But without the doctors, who is going to diagnose patients and decide what drug is needed based off their symptoms, previous medical history, etc.? Who would go in and perform operations to fix/remove broken parts of the body? Again, I don’t disagree with you, but while pharmaceuticals are amazing and have brought us a long way, to say that doctors shouldn’t get credit for increasing life expectancy is misleading, false, and blatantly ignorant. The medicine itself isn’t magic and there has to be a driving force to figure out what the problem is, prescribe medications, and come up with a plan to attempt to help the patient(s). Again, let me reiterate that what you said isn’t totally wrong, it is merely a partial truth, as well as a simplistic answer to a much more diverse and complicated subject.
As someone who left medicine and switched to a career in tech.,I initially felt guilty and thought my life was headed nowhere. Now I look back and know I made the right decision for myself and my future. I refuse to be silenced by the years I put into something when there could be so many better years ahead. Life is just once so be happy. Thanks for sharing your story Zach. I am happy for you.
I really think this can happen in every field, playing the reverse card here: I've done a BSc in Computer Science, started my career, hated it and felt exactly like you describe 'zombie'. 2 years ago I've finally made the call to reset my life and to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor. Everyone was socked and told me that I'm crazy to give up on the freedom and the income that I had, but my happiness was enormously more important than all of these. I am currently a second year student and I can truly say that I'm the happiest I've ever been, I hope it stays this way. You are definitely a brave man, Zach, hope you find your way to peace and happiness. ❤
You are an amazing story-teller Zach. I just finished watching the whole video. And I'm sure I'll be back to watch it again. And again. And again. The way you expressed your thoughts, it's so intriguing.
I have followed you for several years. I would not throw all the effort and learning away. I would do something in the medical field. An MD can allow you do to many things that are not clinical. (I retired from medicine last year after 40 years of practice.) Alternatively, you can take a year off and do a less stressful residency. You can always adjust your hours afterward and work 2 or 3 days a week. There are many options. You are burned out. Give yourself a break. You are very smart, and you just need a break. Best of luck!
Hey Zach, I am also a med student who has been following your journey for the past three years, and I wanted to say that you inspired me in many ways.. motivational videos, study techniques, vlogs.. even starting a UA-cam channel. I can never thank you enough for that. Despite the short attention span I have these days, I watched this video ‘till the end and found so much value in it. Thank you for helping me and many others get better in a lot of ways. I’ll keep on supporting you and your journey for as long as I can🫶
I think this generation’s emphasis on mental health and good health in general is an important shift. People are becoming more aware of when stress becomes toxic or unsustainable. It’s not about avoiding hardship, but rather recognizing when a situation is genuinely harmful versus just difficult. And It's unrealistic to think that happiness or passion will be constant, no matter how carefully we choose our path. BRAVE decision from A BRAVE man .Sometimes stepping away opens doors you never expected, giving you space to discover new passions or paths. so happy for u :))) can't wait for the new chapters
Zach, you’ve always been and will continue to be a huge inspiration. Watching you take the leap from medicine, despite all the hard work, shows incredible strength and self-awareness. It’s a reminder that life is about finding where we truly belong, and you’ve made that decision with such grace. I have no doubt your journey ahead will be just as impactful, if not more so!
Damn. Surprised this is real. I'm a fourth-year med student and can't tell you how many I've played through your twelve-hour 'study with me' videos--not to mention all your other videos. I used to look at these 'I quit' confessions and think the people making them were 'selfish' or 'lazy,' and maybe some of them were, but from what I've watched so far, I believe you're making a well-informed, correct decision. I'm not a resident yet, but I recognize most of what you're saying. I think medical school has made me a worse person for many of the reasons brought up here. The only thing that keeps me going is the patients and the hope that maybe one day I'll get to focus on them without all the extra bullshit. I know that's wishing for a lot. Just know that you've helped me get to where I'm at, as I know you've helped others, and this video is also helpful in its depth and honesty. I really appreciate it. Anyone saying this is the wrong decision likely has no idea about what led to your decision and shouldn't be taken seriously. I wish you the best.
Wow thank you for the thoughtful response - check out my pinned comment, I think that’s a wonderful reason to stay in medicine. I’ll still be here posting videos for a while so I’m not going anywhere! Keep your head up and your heart open.
Oh my goodness, I hope you are doing well Zach! I have followed you for years and your videos have been amazing ever since my own undergrad years. I wish you a great future beyond medicine!
@@ZachHighley Thank YOU! I was originally on the track for med school until I realized nursing involves what I initially thought can only be achieved through a career in medicine. I love direct patient involvement and taking care of people! However, I have realized that you cannot pour from an empty cup. 🤍 Take care of yourself and take a well earned break! LIVE! ✨
This is the realest video I’ve seen in a long time. Thank you so much for sharing. Your videos have always been, and continue to be tremendously helpful. I know this is just the beginning of a new chapter for you. You have a fantastic, vibrant, and contagiously motivating personality, even when discussing something like leaving medicine. Much love
Thank you. I started medical school following your Anki videos and used your story as motivation. I am truly appreciative you sharing your story and being honest. I'm an MS3 and think about quitting EVERYDAY. NO ONE will know how challenging medical school is, and the toll in takes on you physically and mentally. But I hope you're happy with your decision and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Zach, I’ve been following you since your MCAT study plan video. I had always said I wanted to become a doctor, but I recently made the decision to apply to PA school instead after several conversations about the over all work life balance between people in both professions. I was still contemplating on whether it was a mistake, but after watching your video I have peace about my decision. Thank you for being so honest!
I watched this all the way through. I really enjoyed listening to the story. I commend you for being honest with YOURSELF; that's courageous. I'm sorry as I'm sure this must be a confusing and stressful time, but sounds like you'll land in exactly the right place. So many options. I was applying to law school a decade ago and am SO GLAD I chose a different path. It took so much healing and self-awareness to stop living for other people's approval and choose a career I enjoyed, was good at, and could make money in. At that time a decade ago, I was at my lowest - had gotten a paralegal degree, experienced a "pathological" relationship, and was so lost. I couldn't understand why I didn't mesh with who I thought I was supposed to be. I lived to look attractive enough, have an impressive enough career, and win the approval of other people. There's some weird, fake narcissistic identity that takes over with certain career paths. For me, I needed to heal who I was internally. It took years of seclusion really, that subsequently resulted in growth, to make the life I wanted. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm at peace with who I am and have a small group of people I can trust in my life. Just turned 32 and life is good. I truly believe you'll look back and realize you saved your life, your sanity and your peace with your decision. Best of luck to you!
I’m not a doctor but I’m in the medical field. I’m a single mom of twins, working full time at a hospital trying to get my BCEMP and you inspired me to love learning!! I’m so happy you found your why!!! Sending love from California.
I started watching your videos to get studying advice. I went back to school mid-life because I hated my very enviable job in the entertainment industry and had to gain new skills to do something else. Just recently, I quit my job despite still having 2 years left to complete my degree because I simply could not keep going. My family and friends questioned my sanity doing this. I only wanted to say that watching all the videos on studying on YT, made me wish I had the time and energy to pursue medicine as a career. Maybe it's different when actually practicing medicine, but from an outsider's perspective, it's at least making a difference. I spent 30 years stressing over entertainment industry non-sense that truly did not matter but it became my life. I have nothing but regret for those wasted 30 years. At least you realized you were on the wrong path early on and not decades later. I hope you can apply what you've learned studying medicine all these years to a career that you enjoy and that can in fact make a difference.
Thanks for sharing, Zach. I have awesome respect for you. I'm retired. I was a "zombie" virtually my entire career as a hospital administrator. Where did it get me? Depression, anxiety, insomnia, two divorces, estrangement from my kids --- multiple suicide attempts. As I said, I'm retired now. I'm healthier emotionally, psychologically, and physically. But, at age 67, I wasted decades of my life --- years that I'll never get back.
Thank you for sharing your story. would you ever recommend a young man like me finish undergrad in psychology and chemistry with zero debt to go into medicine as a career?
As a dentist, I can tell you many people in medicine feel crushed from their overwhelming debt, lack of appreciation from patients, and fighting with insurance companies/horrible compensation compared to our expertise and lengthy schooling. In turn, it is exhausting having to explain to patients why you are choosing a more costly option for treatment that is better in the long term rather than "just do what my insurance covers." Most people went into medicine/dental/pharmacy/nursing yo improve the lives of our patients...but all of the additional stuff just adds on to the stress.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I had a similar experience, I finished medical school in my country in Europe (6 years), which allows to practice general medicine, but then decided to leave after starting residency. Or rather, my body/mind decided for me, as I had become an empty walking shell of myself and fell into anorexia/depression and became completely burned out. I wish I had more clarity to make the decision on my own, rather than just failing to have the strength to continue. I was very fortunate to go into a PhD program, and I am now doing cancer research, more as a molecular biologist, although I still have a personal private practice on the side. I feel research is actually a good path for those who aim to understand diseases and change treatment with a higher impact - this is not really what most clinicians could do, even if they wanted to, as they are drowned by the day to day. Not everything is rosy in research, it's hard to find a path in Academia, half of the time is spent on writing grant applications or doing menial tasks instead of having the luxury to think about the data, salary is probably 20% of what an MD makes in the U.S. (still higher than in Europe lol), but at least it has the "potential" of being really meaningful. In my clinical rotations, I did not feel this potential, I could not even help individual patients due to lack of resources. I have never seen your channel before, but I wish you find your place in life, in whatever you decide to do next :)
They're not right zack. I just finished medical school and since the past 5 years i have always felt that the real change us doctors make is very miniscule. It's glorified by the world but in reality, researchers, pharmacologists.. these people are the ones making a real difference. I truly believe you made the right decision at the right time and saved yourself. I'm too much of a coward, Scared of judgement from my family and friends. Plus, Medicine has wiped away any other hobbies, motivations or dreams that i had so i have no idea where to go if i leave medicine now. You are a brave man and i am proud of you
100% agree about the researchers and pharmacologists part. I think the people who make the real difference are the people who invent to new techniques, new procedures, surgical techniques, medications and engineer the things that doctors use.
As someone who was thinking of med school and decided to do something else, it was the best decision I ever made. I think that constant comparing yourself to others stunts your personal growth so tremendously and reinforces such unhealthy habits, and I'm so glad I've steered myself in a different direction. I'm much happier 🙂 I'm glad you made the right decision for you, I applaud your courage.
I totally believe you are meant to still help people. If not internal medicine then something else. My son is going through this same process with getting a doctorate in chemistry. He plans on leaving. He feels a bit lost, but at this point he plans on using his chemistry to become a brewer. We all support him. We all support you on your path as well. Don't think of it as time and money spent lost. This was a path you needed to go on, and you've enriched our lives taking us on your path and helping us all be more!❤
the "it'll be better when..." chain hit hard. Thanks for sharing your story, Zach; been a follower since nearly day-one. As a husband and father in medicine, things are tough. I often think about what life might be like outside of the rat chase. About to start residency next year, and going to keep plugging along for the time being, but who knows. Another kid on the way, and a lot of life to explore. Wishing you nothing but the best. Proud of you, brother.
I've been following your content for the past 5-6 years. Thank you for sharing your journey and vulnerability with us. May you rest well and recover physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Zach, I don’t want to sit here and tell you how brave or bold your decision is. Nor do I want to tell you how smart or, on the other hand, how reckless it might seem. Honestly, that’s not my place, and I imagine plenty of people around you are already doing exactly that. What I really want to share with you is something else entirely, something that might require me to take a little detour from the usual line of thought. Let me start by introducing myself: I’m an 18-year-old student from Germany. My academic record is solid, good enough that I’ve been able to participate in various academic programs alongside some of the brightest minds. And although I’m not a medical student like you were, I’ve found myself relating deeply to the way you described your experience. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been telling everyone around me that I’m going to study medicine. It was just this path that made sense. People see it as a profession for the elite, something that only the best of the best can pursue. And since I always thought of myself as someone who belonged in that category, it felt like medicine was my inevitable future. That’s what everyone expected of me. And it’s what I expected of myself. But recently, something shifted. I’ve started to doubt whether medicine is truly what I want to do. I’ve started to question if it's really my calling, or if I’ve just been going along with this plan because it seemed like the logical next step. In short, I’ve been feeling lost, much like how you described your own sense of uncertainty. The truth is, I have no idea what to do next. I don’t have a clear direction. And here's the thing: your video didn’t magically provide me with a roadmap or a detailed plan for the future. It didn’t offer some concrete opportunity or a set of instructions for how to move forward. But in a way, it gave me something even more valuable than that. Your words reminded me of something crucial: I don’t have to follow a path just because it seems like the most prestigious or because it’s what people expect of me. I dn’t have to live up to some imagined standard of success that others have for me, or even one I’ve set for myself. You made me realize that doing what you “have to” do or what others think you should do won’t work in the long run, at least not if you want to feel fulfilled or like you’re doing something that truly matters. Now, I understand that whatever I choose to do, it has to be something that not only sounds right but feels right. It has to be something that I can fully commit to, something that will be worth all the effort and struggles that inevitably come with pursuing any path. It has to be worth the squeeze, so to speak. So, Zach, I just want to thank you. Thank you for sharing your experience and your perspective. You’ve given me something that would’ve otherwise taken me who knows how long-hours, days, months, maybe even years-to figure out on my own. You didn’t tell me exactly what I wanted to hear, but you told me what I needed to hear. And for that, I’m grateful. Thank you for the insight, for the clarity, and for the courage to question the direction I thought I had to follow. Your message was more than just a story about your own life; it was a nudge for me to think harder about mine. Sincerely, An 18-year-old figuring it out too.
Amazing introspection and writing, and at 18?!? You will do great things. My only piece of advice is to keep putting yourself out there. Try the scary things. Listen to the people you care about, but don’t set yourself on fire to keep them warm. Keep me updated on your journey, would love to hear more: zach@zhighley.com
Hey, I usually never comment but what you said really resonated with me. I'm Italian and currently studying energy engineering. When I was 19 I chose to study engineering because it seemed like it was the right and only choice (alongside medicine), given my high grades and school record. Now at 24 I'm stuck in a bachelor degree I don't like, in classrooms full of super smart people and getting bad grades at my exams. This whole situation makes me frustrated and unsatisfied. After the first year I wanted to do something else because I already knew at that time that this path wasn't the right one, but my family convinced me to keep going. Now I regret the choice I made in high school and the fact that I didn't fight to change degree after that first year. So the advice I can give you is to really really think about what you like, because if you are passionate about something and you're smart (and I think you are based on what you wrote) you're going to be very good at whatever field of studies you're going to pursue. Don't choose your future based on perceived prestige or friends and family expectations. And if at some point you realize you're not happy or satisfied and you would rather do something else: be brave and make the change because the life is yours and no one else's. I don't know if this can be helpful, Zach has already said everything and he's been braver than me, but I hope we can create an environment where people that are smart don't feel forced to choose a path that is considered more "prestigious" in spite of their desires. :)
As a Newly graduated Medical Doctor from Dominican Republic I think you are so brave to say these things about residency. I'm actually studying for the steps but I think you'll do great in life. We should do the things that make us feel great. It's not the end Dr. Zach! YOU GO!
The most shocking video of all time. You are the best medtuber I've ever seen. Your content is way better than any medical channel on UA-cam. I wish you all the best man
Wow. You are brave. The most important person not to dissapoint in life is yourself. You saved you from that. You have always inspired me and this in another time that you made it. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
Heck yeah, Zach! Wild how we’ve taken so much time, so many years (and gap years!!) only to reach the same end point of disheartenment and disillusionment. I’m applying to residency now and I’ve got a little over a quarter tank left in me… I’m constantly coming up with ideas of how I can do something far from the medical system. This is becoming a prevalent theme and you are SO SUPPORTED! Good on you!
Zach, you are an expert storyteller, super charismatic, and very good at making inspirational videos. You keep learning and sharing your knowledge and it's a beautiful cycle. I'm sure compared to being in the clinic, the people you inspire and interact with who are grateful for what you do on your videos/blogs/newsletters are way more than 5%. It seems you are meant for so much more and you will still be affecting so many lives. You've created something super special and it's refreshing to see someone who is already so successful as you be so candid about their journey. I'm excited for you. Thank you.
You HAVE changed lives. Just this video alone has reframed my entire perspective. Thank you for this and no it is never easy leaving something that you’ve put your all into- something I can also relate all to well to. But we’re here for only a short time and too short to live with regrets or to hold onto things of the past out of fear of wasted time. THIS IS THE TIME RIGHT NOW. Change of it feels right and I’m sure in the future you will look back and see this as one of your best decisions
Bro, I never commented here, but I feel you. I am entering my last study year here in europe(netherlands) and tbh I am considering more and more to not persue a clinical carreer and do other things with my degree. thanks for speaking about the reality of being a doctor or med student. I hope you keep us a bit updated on your new path and also maybe drop a cheeky little video about alternative jobs or carreers with a medical degree ;)
I’m a first year pathology resident and some days I love what I get to do and some days I’m wondering what side career I can build that will allow me to distance myself from medicine. I chose pathology ultimately because I don’t like, or believe in, the healthcare system and felt I was too far in to quit (I have basically no other skills lol). So I chose a specialty that allowed me to be in a diagnostic role rather than a role that “treated/healed” patients- although the idea that we really heal anybody is tenuous. It takes courage to do what you’ve done! Thank you for sharing.
As a psychiatrist who works with many medical students and residents, I was saddened to see this video. I strive to advise my students and residents to pursue a career path that best aligns with their core skills, interests, and values. It seems you may not have received sufficient counsel along your career path that gave you a more realistic sense of what the practice of medicine involves as well as greater insight into your goals. I wish you well as you pursue a new path. Every life experience can be a source of greater wisdom and fulfillment going forward.
'To thine own self be true'. I envy the insight you have into your needs and aspirations. I too left medicine - more than three years after graduating. For me, it was the wrong decision. Having done a 6 year MBBS in Australia, I had no undergrad to fall back on. No other employer really cares if you have a medical degree or not. I now work in IT. I hate it. I would go back to med in a heartbeat, but I will never be able to return. Am still dealing with the fallout. Thank you for your honesty. You have made the right choice for yourself, and are an inspiration to others who find themselves doing a job that does not give them a sense of fulfilment and achievement. I wish you ever success!
It's so sad the US medical training system is so conducive to these kinds of reactions from people quitting being a doctor. I wanted to be a doctor but ultimately I couldn't deal with the sacrifices needed to pursue that path. It's just SO much. No matter how much you enjoy the science, people, etc at some point you realize that there is so much more to life than being consumed in this career. At least that's what it was for me. The part that really bothers me is people NEED great physicians and healthcare but more and more doctors are realizing that 'hey this really sucks' lol. But then there are those great souls that continue being doctors in spite of the sacrifice because they love it and make their own way so props to them.
Duh, it is self evident that being a doctor requires effort and sacrifice. As does any other career that requires high level of skill, training and provides high compensation.
I truly appreciate your decision, and I’m sure that many clinical doctors around the world can relate to your feelings. The medical system is frustrating, often causing us to question our value and draining our energy, yet most of us feel stuck in this toxic cycle for many reasons, even though we can’t lie to ourselves. You are truly brave, just like your dad. Wishing you the best and a fresh, positive start on your future journey. We are always with you, Zach. 🍀
Jobs are like relationships. Once that excitement has passed, you start to notice all the little flaws. That does not mean you don't love it anymore it means you have to decide if you love it enough to be able to live with the flaws.
Dont quit just because you are burnt out. It is normal to be burn out after intern year and because of unmotivated people. You worked so hard for it. Yes we do spend time doing non medical stuff like in ANY job (realistically) but we do make a difference talking to patients and making diagnosis. I know I did. You are clearly a very authentic and passionate person and would really benefit people being a doctor. I say take a break and revisit your decision later. FYI i did training in Boston and it is ruthless part of me dont “ blame u”.
I can only imagine how difficult that decision must have been for you. I spent 13 years of my life dedicating myself to a career that I always wanted. I sacrificed a lot for it, I learned a lot, I loved every single bit of it, I was actually even great at it, but in the end, the dream was shattered because of a series of unfortunate events at my workplace. What followed, was an almost 2-year-process of recognizing the situation for what it was and coming clean about it. In the beginning, it was difficult for me to let go of something that had lasted so long and was so passionate, to let go of the identity I had created since I was an undergraduate. And in some way, it still is difficult to this day to accept what has happened. Yet I knew I had to move on and do something else. I started a completely new career this year and I do still feel kinda lost. But this is life. Sometimes, a dream is just not meant to be and all that remains then, is to go out and find another one. It happens. In fact, it happens to a lot of us. So stay strong and see every situation as an opportunity to grow. I'm sure you will end up in a good place after all. But thanks for sharing your story because it resonated deeply with me.
I am a premed, heavily debating and neurotically doubting my place in medicine. Thanks for this video. It’s a difficult decision for me because quite honestly I don’t know what else I could do with my life that would give me the perceived purpose I attribute to a medical doctor. I really appreciate your insight.
Zach, I just want to say that what you’ve done is very courageous (quitting your medicine career and also opening your heart to tell people about your decision in your video) it shows the kind of human being you are, and you should be very proud and at peace with yourself. Not wanting to be a zombie is a perfect reason to quit what you’re doing and very few people have the guts, or can afford to be that coherent with their life. I think there is a strong component of burnout in our society which I cannot yet relate to the working environment of our time, or to the level of expectations we hold for our lives… but that is another discussion… Good luck to you in whatever pursuit you take, you will do great!
I never comment on UA-cam but it’s surreal to see this after benefitting from all your anki, med school, and life advice through the years. Your description of the catharsis getting that first acceptance email is so spot on- I was laying in my bed and when I read those words I literally started shaking, laughing, and smiling uncontrollably. It wasn’t a great school, it was across the country and costed $80K/yr, but it was my dream. It was such a visceral response I doubt I will have again in my lifetime. So much work riding on a single email. Another aspect this video reminded me of is that social media is not reality. People love to idolize medinfluencers as these perfect, hard working, always positive, always balanced, always happy gifts to medicine, and I’m so happy you were realistic about some of your struggles that are all too common among us in medicine. I’m glad you’re feeling better and I’m so sorry for any hate or stress this decision has caused-there are a lot of bitter, unhappy people in medicine as you touched on. I would be remiss though if I didn’t give a small criticism from the video which is that I wish you touched on the privilege you have in being able to make this choice. Residents without an established social media platform and other incomes would almost certainly be in financial peril without landing a consulting or other industry job quickly after stopping residency. I don’t mean to diminish your accomplishments/hard work here as I absolutely think this channel has touched and guided so many students, but it does give you a unique degree of agency as a resident. I think for struggling residents, this only worsens the feeling of being trapped in this never-ending path-socially as you covered well but also financially. I hope things can change for the better but the reality of modern medicine makes it tough to be optimistic. Wishing you the absolute best of luck in whatever you go into. I’m confident you’ll find something that will impact a lot of people. And PS you are a great orator haha
Hey man was shocked at the title but totally get it . Even here in Australia the medical profession is pushed to the brink. Your over worked exhausted and I can see why you have made the decision you made. Hope you find your dream and keep letting us all view it on here
I got a job as a medical device rep and was a top performer in part because of your videos on Anki, studying, and reflections on life in medical school. Life is about making the hard choices and choosing what you want to suffer for. Congrats on figuring it out. The experience will never be wasted! Thanks for all the content (and vulnerability) over the years!
Zach, I never comment on youtube videos, ever. But I want to you to know this. I got into medical school 2 years after you did and you were like that older brother who taught younger siblings how to get through life. You taught me how to apply, how to study for pre-clinicals, and even setting up my anki. Your mentorship through your videos were invaluable to my journey as a soon-to-be-physician and I'm not sure how I would've gone through it without you and your videos. I support your decision and I'm excited where you'll go next. You don't have to be a physician treating patients to make an impact. You made a big impact already and you should be proud of that. I hope you find that juice that is worth squeezing. Please update us with your journey. Thank you again.
Hey Zach! I have been here since forever. I am so glad you listened to your inner voice. No faint hearted can do that. In the end none of it will matter as long as you are happy. I am really looking forward to your journey ahead. Onwards and Upwards we goooo!
WOW! Congratulation and all the best. It's great when, especially, doctors are honest to themselves. You will make it. You can do everything (almost) with your medicine study. I love how honest U.S.- doctors are. Here in Germany many doctors hate their jobs, harm their patients, but still stay in their jobs. They do not help anyone, only harm, as they burnt out for many years already. So, great that you are honest, and in the first lane to yourself. All the best to you.
Very bittersweet video considering you're the one that helped me set up my Anki haha. There are times tho I can definitely relate and sometimes ask "Is the juice worth the squeeze?". As a PGY1 I feel that I may still be in that "honeymoon" stage but there are definitely days where I've left the hospital like, "F this... I am not coming back". For those that are considering medicine, you really need to ask yourself if there is anything else you could see yourself doing. Medicine to me is just as, if not more demanding than it is rewarding. I'm working with people who are parents that can maybe kids maybe twice a week. You're constantly tired. And hobbies and interests are at times completely tossed out the window.
I just want to say this couldn't have come at a more perfect timing for me. im in my early 30's and like you my dream was to always get into med school. I had like 8 years (master's work experience, etc) gap. but taking tests was never for me and ultimately during second year I was dismissed ( I only had gotten into 1 DO school). luckily I had a very supportive family. this happened a few months ago. I know in my case I was forced to leave but now i'm forced to find passion in other ways and like you I hope to make a difference in another way. if anyone reading this has had a similar experience, please reach out. I still think about med but I really need to move on.
I started watching your study guides after I started losing my drive in school. I have a year left in undergrad and I've been fumbling and stressing around on whether or not I go to medschool or not. The worst part is I don't have anyone to talk about how much it's messing me up, and how anxious I am about it all. Everyone around me is expecting me to be the first doctor in my family and its this huge pressure to not mess everything up all the time. It's videos like this that help me more than anything. Thank you for your honesty and I wish us both well in our future endeavours.
Have you said this to them? Your friends? And counselor? I’m sure they would want to see you happy. Be careful you aren’t mixing up something being hard vs something being something you dislike. They are different.
Thank you for sharing your honest and uneasy experience with us. Just finished reading the book ’Quit’ and well, if anything, you’re doing amazing, definitely courageous and on the right track in your life:) Proud of you!!
Felt the same way. Then decided to go to pathology residency. One of the best decisions ever. Consider pathology residency too. You most likely will like it.
Zach it sounds like you were in a pretty malignant residency. Many of my friends who are in inner city residencies are feeling the same. Your decision is sound. You have made an impact on me profoundly. I think that you would be an amazing medical educator.
Thanks Nick! Really, honestly, the residency program wasn't bad. The people and doctors were amazing. It was a purely personal decision based on the profession in its entirety.
Just wanted to say thank you for making this video and being so honest about your experiences. I left medical school in October 2022 and it was easily the hardest decision I've ever made. I had made it to my clinical rotations, passed Step 1 and put so much time, energy and money into the entire process (I also did a post-bacc program). I felt so much shame and disappointment when I left and had a really hard time telling people about it, but seeing this video helped validate a lot of my own feelings and thoughts about leaving something as prestigious and grueling as medical school. Really great video.
Zack! Your story is so moving. And even if you aren’t going through with the medical career. Just what you have lived through and telling that story. Will change thousands of peoples lives. You are such a big inspiration to so many people including myself, and the inevitable comments that are negative do come just remember that you can change lives just by being honest! Jesus has used your life in a crazy way! Keep being awesome! And can’t wait to see where this next chapter of your life takes you! Take care Zack!
Your pomodoro study with me changed my world when I went back to college. I'm so proud of you for being true to yourself, we so often get stuck on the emotional, time, or actual (fiscal) sunk cost that that we don't make changes that are better for us.
Zach I feel you totally, I’ve been struggling too in deciding about my future and if the juice is worth the squeeze!! It’s tough, stay with your decision you’ll be good! :)) I just graduated in medicine and I’m looking into which specialty to go in and it’s kind of killing me
Although you're the last person that I would have seen this coming from, I still could feel it, especially in the last couple of videos, it was clear something was causing you pain from within, and that you couldn't so easily talk about... Wish you the best!
First year med student here. This is therapy. Been watching your videos for years. We love you bro. I love you. This is much needed for those in medicine, those considering leaving and those who are trying to get in. Thank you for being vulnerable.
Wow. I was just watching your videos as a medical student in order to gauge what life is like as a student, as I hope to become one in 2025. I honestly did not expect this, but I applaud you tremendously for having the courage to carry out this decision. I know a lot of people wouldn't be able to say the same, even though they want out just as badly. Good Luck in this new chapter of yours Zach. I have no doubt you'll exceed in whatever endeavor you pursue.
I can’t thank you enough for making this video. I watched it all the way through and I’ve never related to anything more in my entire life. I’ve come to realize that for me, the juice is not worth the squeeze. I haven’t even applied to med school yet and the magic has already disappeared for me. I’ve essentially come to terms with it and recognize that there is something else meant for me in life and I have to follow my heart. Once again, I can’t thank you enough. Your story means so much to me and I believe it has saved me from experiencing so much pain. Thank you Zach ❤
I feel you. I spent 9 years studying theology thinking I'd be an academic and teach. I finished my education. Then I decided, "No. I don't want to do this."
Zach, you don't have to be honors. You don't have to always outcompete your cohort. Your patient at 1am could not care less, so long as you are caring, humble, and competent. None of those qualities are borne out of competition. Once you begin practice, no one will ever know or care about class standing or grades. Just care for the patient, maintain competence and be responsible.
I'm a 50 yr old Medical Doctor doing Family Medicine and I think a full time youtuber career is incompatible with a specialist doctor in training lifestyle and that's why you feel burnt out. You are not being fair to yourself as you are burning the candle at both ends trying to succeed at both. Why not give specialist training life a proper go by giving up youtube for a year or 6 months and just focus on excelling in your specialty training and then re-evaluate. Only after NOT doing any youtube and just pure medicine and then take stock on how you feel. If you still feel the same, then go ahead and quit medicine. Who knows, you may find that just doing medicine only for 6 months and nothing else will have you fall in love with being a doctor again.
Younger generations are more focused on their mental health while the older generations have had hardships and can deal with stress better. Welcome to the new generations
I just got accepted into med school and felt a huge wave of depression. This really resonated with me. I’m going to see it through but I don’t know what the future holds.
I left medicine/med school too, no regrets. If I saved anyone, it was definitely myself (as I was losing myself in the process of being a doctor)… and I’m glad I did. There is life outside med!
An encouraging message indeed brother, and I respect you for preserving who you are in face of a tempting alternative. God gives us one life! - 1st year DO student and past EMT
Just watched the ENTIRE video haha. Loved getting to know more about you as a person really found your story interesting and inspiring man. I loved the "is the juice worth the squeeze" analogy. I totally support your choice even if it was for sure a hard one to make. Thanks for sharing your story much love ❤
To me, the smile at the end where you remember thinking, "this is the right decision for me" says it all. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to leave the expected path and go in a different direction. You only have one life to live, so spending time in something that's making you miserable when you have options would be pretty tragic. I'm thinking about the journey Ryan Holiday made for some parallels, and he seems pretty content with following his interests and departing from expectations. Thanks for sharing the journey so far! I'm sure all you've done will enrich whatever you do next.
Dude. You’re a rockstar for this. I’m an M1 - been following you for a HOT minute. You inspired me. Encouraged me along the journey. I’m grateful to say that because of you, I feel very differently than you do. I’m happy to be here. At peace. Fulfilled. Not striving. Just enjoying. It’s good. You deserve that feeling. You’ve done enough already, Doc. Find your peace in this season.
@@ZachHighley yeah for sure! So, I wasn't a Doctor like you, however, I was a Personal Support Worker. I've worked in Retirement & Long Term Care, and the last home I worked for, made the decision for me. At this particular home (subsidized by the Government here in Canada), I handled medications/narcotics, and did nursing duties rather than personal care. I was the only staff in the building, for most of my shifts, looking after 30+ residents on my own, plus doing other duties like laundry, snacks, etc. During my time here, I had many things that happened, but the worst was when I first started. I had a resident fall down the basement stairs (because two residents lived in the basement), and I was all alone. He cracked open his head, blood everywhere including on me, and the cherry on top was that there was no reception down there so I had trouble calling 911. You would think after this experience they would make sure there was more staff there, but nope! I was alone all the time, and trying to manage the home on my own, while giving the right meds to the right residents, while dealing with falls, and everything else that could possibly go wrong, was just too much. The owner didn't care about us, which he said, and my sanity was not worth the extra money. The thing that made me quit however, was that a resident died (not on my shift), and the home didn't find her until 8 hours later... how does that happen. So, I quit without notice, got a job in the supplements department at a health food store, and have better work-life balance, more time to do content creation (i'm a bigger creator on insta and tiktok), and am way happier. Quite the story, but I'm never going back.
I have been watching your videos for the past 3 years and when I tell you my jaw dropped when I read the title of the video.. I'm shocked. I had to finish the entire video and I'm honestly so happy for you! Another way of thinking this is that you've set yourself free :)
You mean bragging about productivity lead to burn out? Go figure…. It’s nice to be rich and have these choices. Hard work is hard go figure. Gas lighting people that 100% productivity all the time is the way is what lead to this and this type of content is what makes med students not speak out about burn out. Glad you’re going public about it now….. but years of gas lighting for UA-cam growth is pretty silly.
I commend you for making a decision that is based on honoring your inner voice and knowing. You have outgrown the imagined ideal and now get to use your knowledge and experience to pursue the next right thing for your journey in life. You’ve proven to yourself you can accomplish whatever you set out to accomplish through hard work and determination. Now you’re giving yourself the gift of healing. Thank you for sharing your truth in a raw, honest, vulnerable way. I can’t wait to see what’s next for you.
I am OVERWHELMED by the support I've received here. Thank you all. Love you all. I'll be replying to every single one of you.
I want to reiterate what I said about being a "Zombie" because there seems to be some confusion:
I am NOT saying everyone who goes into medicine becomes a Zombie; the biggest mentors in my entire life are practicing, world-changing clinicians.
If I stayed practicing clinical medicine, I would 100% become a Zombie. And life is too short.
The only question you need to ask yourself is, "Is the juice worth the squeeze?"
For those going into medicine or who are in medicine:
We are so honored to have this opportunity to work with people who are at one of the most scary times in their lives. Truly privileged.
No one, no one at all, experiences something as unique as being with people at the crucible of their life. You have the opportunity to change people's lives.
Lean in.
Pay attention to healing pain, whether it's through medical interventions or just talking to people.
Pay attention to your team.
Pay attention to your thoughts.
Your patients are everything.
Love,
Zach
P.S. Added time-stamps:
0:00 I Quit
1:00 Getting into Medical School
18:00 Medical School:
30:00 Juice →? Squeeze
38:00 Residency
49:00 Why I Left
1:02 Summary and what's next
P.P.S. Thank you so much to the teachers, clinicians, hospital workers, patients, and mentors I've met online and in person throughout this career. You have changed my life.
You have done wonderful things. You will continue to do wonderful things. You are a beautiful gift to the world 🙏❤️
@@ZachHighley love your content,
i mean it.
I respect your decision man! It takes balls to make such a big decision. Have faith in yourself, I pray everything good happens to you.
Wow! I went through a version of this when deciding to leave my PhD position. My life's dream was to have a Dr title in front of my name in my field. Academia was so incredibly toxic and the more I was in it the more disappointed I was with it. My goal was and still is to help others as an environmental biologist. Making the decision to leave research and the months after were quite a process.
Are you sure this isn't your suppressed depression talking. I'm saying this because I myself am a med student struggling through med school and I wanted to quit some time ago. Somewhere deep in my heart I thought I wasn't built for medicine and I would just tell myself I'm not worth it and that I don't deserve to be here. But all that changed since I went to my Psychiatrist who also happens to be my dad himself and he started me on meds. Today I feel so much better thank God and I see that I am pushing myself to my utmost limits and preparing for STEP 1 even though I know I'm not the smartest nor the most hardworking but I believe that I do have a purpose and I feel the need to provide and work hard to add value to the society I live in and possibly become a global citizen one day. Sometimes you just need to give yourself more time and realize that you are more capable than you think. Please try to find happiness within yourself and not in what you do. Take care of yourself and I hope you end up at a better place than where you are at the moment. Yours truly, Another social being somewhere on the opposite side of the globe... KEEP SMILING!
Hi Zach. I am a dermatologist working in my own private practice. A lot of what you said in your video really resonated with me. I think much of what you felt during medical school and training is moral injury. There are so many issues with the medical training process (Hazing, unchecked power of those in charge, cult-like behaviors, lack of teaching, neglect, etc) as well as the American healthcare system at large (major inequities, lack of focus on patient quality of life, insurance and corporate mandates, lack of physician autonomy). It's a system that routinely disenfranchises amazing people like you who patients would be lucky to have as their physician. Take it from someone who disliked most of med school and residency.....and who largely enjoys practicing as an attending which is MUCH better. It isn't perfect, but it is fulfilling. I encourage you to re-visit your decision after taking some time to yourself and consider finishing residency. You can even choose a job working 1 or 2 days a week while you pursue your other ventures. But above all, always do what is best for you. You are the captain of your life. The juice is certainly worth the squeeze.
Beautifully said!
I just entered medicine this year, and this is what UA-cam has been recommending to me since then
harsh truth,
Same here hahhaaha
Hey Salamano, I added a pinned comment that I think replies to this comment, but I want to reiterate that I still think medicine is a great place to be, really. Truly there is no opportunity like it.
We are so honored to have this opportunity to work with people who are at one of the most scary times in their lives. Truly privileged.
No one, no one at all, experiences something as unique as being with people at the crucible of their life. You have the opportunity to change people's lives.
Lean in.
Pay attention to healing pain, whether it's through medical interventions or just talking to people.
Pay attention to your team.
Pay attention to your thoughts.
Your patients are everything.
Love,
Zach
Hey Zach, I've been a big fan of yours for years, I remember watching your videos during exam time for motivation and here I am, I recently graduated med school here in Ethiopia. I didn't have your level of excitement and passion for medicine, but I wanted a challenge, and help people like everyone says 😅. I have thought about quitting countless times but like you said, I talked myself into finishing by saying it will be better after I graduate. I then saw and heard how doctors are getting overworked and underpaid like most countries do which became the last straw for me. Being a doctor is amazing that's for sure, but I believed this is not the way that I am supposed to help. So then I shifted my interest to technology and look for ways to help patients get better healthcare in my country. I'm just starting this journey and hopefully will get to where I want to be and thats what I wish for you doc. Its an exciting life ahead and good luck doc 🫡
because it gets the clicks
Video Summary:
- endless sacrifices to get into med school from: 2 year post bacc and 1 gap year
- he enjoyed learning about medicine and did well in school. wasn’t sure on which speciality ended up deciding on internal med because didn’t want life of a surgeon or OB/Gyn
- internal medicine residency was hard for him.
- felt like he was a zombie in medicine
- he felt like the residents and fellows are also destroyed. some of the residents were sighing about the tasks and responsibilities they had to do and it was draining to see.
- his intern year was rough, he felt like he was operating on 15% on battery savings mode.
- he was drained and not happy
- there are some people like his Cardiac surgeon he shadowed was passionate and it was a full filling job to that surgeon
why he made the decision:
- good: growth and camarade he enjoyed
- bad: time sacrifice, fitness & health decline, general life things, and administration BS. (95%). He questioned his impact that he was making.
- He was not happy.
- ugly: “the destruction of brilliance” the fellows and residents were good people but they were being crushed.
- no longer wanted to be a zombie
This was a well made reflective video Zach! Thank you for taking us on your journey over the years! Best of luck to you on your future endeavors. Excited to see what’s next!
Cheers!
7 months ago
"Why I'm able to study 4000 hours a year and not burn out"
7 months later
*burns out*
Thanks
@@mattwalker9647 Studying and working with other people are different IMO. I could study all day but burning out can be easily triggered by the wrong people you work with and the lack of appreciation that you may get. Nonetheless, it is ironic and sad to see this happen
My jaw dropped when I read the title. Zach, you have helped me so much in my academic journey as an undergraduate student. I am applying to medical school this year and SKMC was one of the schools I applied to SPECIFICALLY because of you. I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in this video.
Hello hello! I an a current student at SKMC, and I’m happy to answer any question you have! Feel free to shoot me a message if it helps
You're so kind ❤@@marytheresadavis7071
@@marytheresadavis7071 hello! I greatly appreciate this - I will definitely reach out if I am fortunate enough to get an interview :)
Did you apply to TUFTS? 😂😂
@@marytheresadavis7071dm me!! i’m also applying id love some advice :)
Oh Zach, I can still sense the pain in your voice but I truly hope you are okay. Don’t worry, you will do great things.
Thank you so much!
@@ZachHighley You’re welcome! This journey taught you a lot about yourself and you made a decision accordingly. We will all be here to witness and support the next phase of your life. Remember: When this decision comes back to pester your thoughts and emotions(and it will), watch this video as a reminder that you made the right decision.
I'm a 4th year med student at the same med school you went to, and I remember meeting you one time 2 years ago on a rooftop at one of the fraternity parties. I just watched your entire video and cannot express just how much I agree with your sentiment. I remember going into medical school feeling similarly to how you did, and by the time third year came around, I was completely checked out. My first rotation was OBGYN too, and the residents (and sadly some of my fellow med students) that I met during that rotation made me realize just how awful the rest of the year would be. The never-ending feeling of needing to impress others just to get good grades, having to "compete" with other med students who would always try to one-up you and do the most, spending insane hours on your feet and in the hospital (I would definitely cry if I had to do 4am-10pm shifts regularly), and the feeling that you weren't really doing many meaningful things to help patients. I just absolutely hate dealing with it now. I'm post-ERAS and while I'm applying to a specialty that I think I might ultimately enjoy, thinking about having to spend my intern year doing floor medicine is so depressing. On all my rotations now I am just constantly thinking of how much I don't want to be there. I will (hopefully) end up finishing residency, but to be honest, if I had another good option I would likely take it. Good luck to you with everything though.
What specialty are you going in to if you don’t me asking?
@@eli.sciencewhy does it matter
what was your experience with SKMC like?
Oh my gosh 😮 I appreciate your decision to make this video. Your total transparency is commendable. I wish you the best on your new journey
Thanks so much, I'll be bringing you all with me on the journey don't worry!
Reminds me of Ali Abdaal who left medicine in similar way and now he is having more bigger impact on society across the globe.
I know you too will do something big impactful in life as well. Wish you all the best for the future .
Love Ali! My plan is that too, just not sure exactly how I'm going to do it yet.
@@ZachHighleyYour medical school experience was still valuable. As a doctor you understand people and the world in a way many other people do not. Exciting times lie ahead!
Wdym Ali is having more impact now? I doubt it
Zach-unbelievable video. Not sure how it ended up in my line-up. I’m a 71 yo OBGyn , now semi-retired. Your video struck me deeply. Medicine is such a sacrifice, not just the personal sacrifice, but the effect on my family, kids, marriage. The interactions with patients can be soooo satisfying , but those sometimes seem so rare and random. The administration of medicine is very difficult, especially the EMR practice of medicine. I am currently working with the underserved, thinking it was more worthy. I still can feel under appreciated in a situation in which I am really needed. The burnout is real. It’s too bad.
Thanks for all your sacrifice Doc :)
Medical school and residency shattered me. The pressure, the sacrifices, the abuse, the perpetual exhaustion, the stress. But I pushed through it, because the idea of not completing it didn't even occur to me honestly. When I finished internal medicine residency, I thought it was a new start for me. I felt like everything was going to be better. I made it through four years of clinical practice, but the life was gradually draining out of me, and I always felt like the workload was just a massive weight on my shoulders that I could never get on top of. Patients/families were never happy and/or were often downright angry. I often worked 12 hour days, 7 days a week, with very little support or acknowledgement of any kind. I was becoming increasingly depressed. One day I left work in 2018, and drove myself straight to another hospital, to check into emerg as a patient myself. I could not stand living one more day feeling the way I was feeling, and knew I wasn't going to make it if I didn't do something drastic. I was admitted to the psych unit for four months with severe depression.
It has been over six years now, and several psych admissions later, and I still haven't returned to full time internal medicine. I have not been able to beat the depression, so this year I underwent deep brain stimulation surgery in a final effort to get it under control. I think it may be helping to some extent. I do the occasional on call shift or cover for a colleague at the hospital, but I can feel the anxiety and the stress the moment I step through those doors. Honestly some days I can barely manage to take care of myself, let alone be responsible for the wellbeing of so many others. But I have not been able to let medicine go completely. It's all I know, and all I've known since I first started medical school almost twenty years ago.
Should I have quit medicine a long time ago? Perhaps. I'm honestly not sure. I know I care about people, and I care about doing good work, but I now feel very weak and tired and beaten down. Leaving medicine would be a very scary and hard decision to make. Kudos to you for having the strength to do so if you knew in your heart that it wasn't for you. Life is too short to make such huge sacrifices if they don't bring you happiness and peace.
Hope your doing better. The system is so broken. It is crazy how so many people are having the same exact experience and yet it is still so tabu to talk about it .
@@user-iu5pl1de5d it's a work in progress. Hard to recover from such a mental and physical decline. But I work on it every day. And I choose to talk about my struggles openly... I don't care what other people think. It should NEVER be a shameful thing to be struggling with mental health, especially not amongst medical learners and physicians. Our culture sucks... It offers no support, and perpetually fosters this BS that you should be happy to work beyond exhaustion with a permanent smile on your face, to your own detriment, and never admit that sometimes it sucks or that you're miserable. If my candidness can make ONE other person feel a bit less alone, then it was worth it.
Watching for over an hour was a breeze because your vulnerability and willingness to share your story are so rare. You are an inspiration and will continue to be in your career as long as you are able to fill your own cup as well. I'm not in the medical field-environmental justice actually-but your organization and study videos have been an immense help to me. Cheers to finding a path where the juice is well worth the squeeze.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve_porassss . I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is steve_porassss.
I’ve never related to a story more. As someone in the middle of applying to medical school, the constant email refreshing, the stress of applying ruining an amazing family trip in Canada, and the constant, awkward conversations when people ask what's next-it’s all too familiar. I used to feel like I was going through it alone, but knowing that so many others are dealing with the same challenges brings a real sense of solidarity. I truly believe that with the dedication we've all shown throughout this process, we all could excel in any field. Best of luck to you, Zach. I have no doubt you'll find happiness and success wherever life takes you.
This takes more courage than getting into medical school in the first place. Good on you, man. I'm sure you'll do well in whatever you pursue. Nice to see people like Ali Abdaal and now Zach exercising their autonomy in life. 👏👏👏
Thank you so much!! Really appreciate the words.
Hello Dr. Zach. I'm also a doctor. I've taken 7 years off. However I'm going to reenter again. I found that working in a group practice is not for me. The administrative ups and downs can be too chaotic. However, once you become board certified as a physician, you can do anything. I didn't let a few bad actors sway me from leaving healthcare. I decided to do it on my own. I will disagree with you that medicine does not do a lot to help society. Most of us would be dead by the age of 40 if it wasn't for modern medicine. I look forward to hearing more about your adventures. Thank you for your honesty. Brene Brown PhD, vulnerability and shame, would be really proud of you for all the honesty you have provided your audience. Carpe diem.
Age 40? Seems a bit young to say "most".
@@marcusvaldeslook at the age of death before antibiotics and surgery then you will see
@@marcusvaldes Yep, bro, just a couple of hundred yeas ago it was true.
Wrong - pharmaceuticals did, not doctors.
@@TheCuratorIsHere I don’t necessarily disagree with you. But without the doctors, who is going to diagnose patients and decide what drug is needed based off their symptoms, previous medical history, etc.? Who would go in and perform operations to fix/remove broken parts of the body? Again, I don’t disagree with you, but while pharmaceuticals are amazing and have brought us a long way, to say that doctors shouldn’t get credit for increasing life expectancy is misleading, false, and blatantly ignorant. The medicine itself isn’t magic and there has to be a driving force to figure out what the problem is, prescribe medications, and come up with a plan to attempt to help the patient(s). Again, let me reiterate that what you said isn’t totally wrong, it is merely a partial truth, as well as a simplistic answer to a much more diverse and complicated subject.
As someone who left medicine and switched to a career in tech.,I initially felt guilty and thought my life was headed nowhere. Now I look back and know I made the right decision for myself and my future. I refuse to be silenced by the years I put into something when there could be so many better years ahead. Life is just once so be happy. Thanks for sharing your story Zach. I am happy for you.
I really think this can happen in every field, playing the reverse card here: I've done a BSc in Computer Science, started my career, hated it and felt exactly like you describe 'zombie'. 2 years ago I've finally made the call to reset my life and to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor. Everyone was socked and told me that I'm crazy to give up on the freedom and the income that I had, but my happiness was enormously more important than all of these. I am currently a second year student and I can truly say that I'm the happiest I've ever been, I hope it stays this way. You are definitely a brave man, Zach, hope you find your way to peace and happiness. ❤
You are an amazing story-teller Zach. I just finished watching the whole video. And I'm sure I'll be back to watch it again. And again. And again. The way you expressed your thoughts, it's so intriguing.
I have followed you for several years. I would not throw all the effort and learning away. I would do something in the medical field. An MD can allow you do to many things that are not clinical. (I retired from medicine last year after 40 years of practice.)
Alternatively, you can take a year off and do a less stressful residency. You can always adjust your hours afterward and work 2 or 3 days a week. There are many options. You are burned out. Give yourself a break. You are very smart, and you just need a break. Best of luck!
Hey Zach, I am also a med student who has been following your journey for the past three years, and I wanted to say that you inspired me in many ways.. motivational videos, study techniques, vlogs.. even starting a UA-cam channel. I can never thank you enough for that.
Despite the short attention span I have these days, I watched this video ‘till the end and found so much value in it. Thank you for helping me and many others get better in a lot of ways. I’ll keep on supporting you and your journey for as long as I can🫶
I think this generation’s emphasis on mental health and good health in general is an important shift. People are becoming more aware of when stress becomes toxic or unsustainable. It’s not about avoiding hardship, but rather recognizing when a situation is genuinely harmful versus just difficult. And It's unrealistic to think that happiness or passion will be constant, no matter how carefully we choose our path.
BRAVE decision from A BRAVE man .Sometimes stepping away opens doors you never expected, giving you space to discover new passions or paths. so happy for u :))) can't wait for the new chapters
Well said
Zach, you’ve always been and will continue to be a huge inspiration. Watching you take the leap from medicine, despite all the hard work, shows incredible strength and self-awareness.
It’s a reminder that life is about finding where we truly belong, and you’ve made that decision with such grace. I have no doubt your journey ahead will be just as impactful, if not more so!
Cheers sir! Let’s keep in touch.
Damn. Surprised this is real. I'm a fourth-year med student and can't tell you how many I've played through your twelve-hour 'study with me' videos--not to mention all your other videos. I used to look at these 'I quit' confessions and think the people making them were 'selfish' or 'lazy,' and maybe some of them were, but from what I've watched so far, I believe you're making a well-informed, correct decision. I'm not a resident yet, but I recognize most of what you're saying. I think medical school has made me a worse person for many of the reasons brought up here. The only thing that keeps me going is the patients and the hope that maybe one day I'll get to focus on them without all the extra bullshit. I know that's wishing for a lot. Just know that you've helped me get to where I'm at, as I know you've helped others, and this video is also helpful in its depth and honesty. I really appreciate it. Anyone saying this is the wrong decision likely has no idea about what led to your decision and shouldn't be taken seriously. I wish you the best.
Wow thank you for the thoughtful response - check out my pinned comment, I think that’s a wonderful reason to stay in medicine. I’ll still be here posting videos for a while so I’m not going anywhere!
Keep your head up and your heart open.
Hun. You are manic. Coke? Adderall?
Oh my goodness, I hope you are doing well Zach! I have followed you for years and your videos have been amazing ever since my own undergrad years. I wish you a great future beyond medicine!
Thank you thank you thank you! You don't know how much it means to me.
@@ZachHighley Thank YOU! I was originally on the track for med school until I realized nursing involves what I initially thought can only be achieved through a career in medicine. I love direct patient involvement and taking care of people! However, I have realized that you cannot pour from an empty cup. 🤍 Take care of yourself and take a well earned break!
LIVE! ✨
This is the realest video I’ve seen in a long time. Thank you so much for sharing. Your videos have always been, and continue to be tremendously helpful. I know this is just the beginning of a new chapter for you. You have a fantastic, vibrant, and contagiously motivating personality, even when discussing something like leaving medicine. Much love
Thank you. I started medical school following your Anki videos and used your story as motivation. I am truly appreciative you sharing your story and being honest. I'm an MS3 and think about quitting EVERYDAY. NO ONE will know how challenging medical school is, and the toll in takes on you physically and mentally. But I hope you're happy with your decision and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Follow your passions bro don't think about anyone, we should be always happy doing things we like.
Thanks so much.
Zach, I’ve been following you since your MCAT study plan video. I had always said I wanted to become a doctor, but I recently made the decision to apply to PA school instead after several conversations about the over all work life balance between people in both professions. I was still contemplating on whether it was a mistake, but after watching your video I have peace about my decision. Thank you for being so honest!
I watched this all the way through. I really enjoyed listening to the story. I commend you for being honest with YOURSELF; that's courageous. I'm sorry as I'm sure this must be a confusing and stressful time, but sounds like you'll land in exactly the right place. So many options. I was applying to law school a decade ago and am SO GLAD I chose a different path. It took so much healing and self-awareness to stop living for other people's approval and choose a career I enjoyed, was good at, and could make money in. At that time a decade ago, I was at my lowest - had gotten a paralegal degree, experienced a "pathological" relationship, and was so lost. I couldn't understand why I didn't mesh with who I thought I was supposed to be. I lived to look attractive enough, have an impressive enough career, and win the approval of other people. There's some weird, fake narcissistic identity that takes over with certain career paths. For me, I needed to heal who I was internally. It took years of seclusion really, that subsequently resulted in growth, to make the life I wanted. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm at peace with who I am and have a small group of people I can trust in my life. Just turned 32 and life is good. I truly believe you'll look back and realize you saved your life, your sanity and your peace with your decision. Best of luck to you!
I’m not a doctor but I’m in the medical field. I’m a single mom of twins, working full time at a hospital trying to get my BCEMP and you inspired me to love learning!! I’m so happy you found your why!!! Sending love from California.
I started watching your videos to get studying advice. I went back to school mid-life because I hated my very enviable job in the entertainment industry and had to gain new skills to do something else. Just recently, I quit my job despite still having 2 years left to complete my degree because I simply could not keep going. My family and friends questioned my sanity doing this. I only wanted to say that watching all the videos on studying on YT, made me wish I had the time and energy to pursue medicine as a career. Maybe it's different when actually practicing medicine, but from an outsider's perspective, it's at least making a difference. I spent 30 years stressing over entertainment industry non-sense that truly did not matter but it became my life. I have nothing but regret for those wasted 30 years. At least you realized you were on the wrong path early on and not decades later. I hope you can apply what you've learned studying medicine all these years to a career that you enjoy and that can in fact make a difference.
Thanks for sharing, Zach. I have awesome respect for you. I'm retired. I was a "zombie" virtually my entire career as a hospital administrator. Where did it get me? Depression, anxiety, insomnia, two divorces, estrangement from my kids --- multiple suicide attempts.
As I said, I'm retired now. I'm healthier emotionally, psychologically, and physically. But, at age 67, I wasted decades of my life ---
years that I'll never get back.
Send you a huge verbal hug, don't give up on you. Thinks will be okay. Maybe sounds stupid, but think about yin yoga...
Thank you for sharing your story. would you ever recommend a young man like me finish undergrad in psychology and chemistry with zero debt to go into medicine as a career?
@@bennelson6735Nope. If I could do it all over again, I would never set foot into healthcare. I want to leave now. So bad.
As a dentist, I can tell you many people in medicine feel crushed from their overwhelming debt, lack of appreciation from patients, and fighting with insurance companies/horrible compensation compared to our expertise and lengthy schooling. In turn, it is exhausting having to explain to patients why you are choosing a more costly option for treatment that is better in the long term rather than "just do what my insurance covers." Most people went into medicine/dental/pharmacy/nursing yo improve the lives of our patients...but all of the additional stuff just adds on to the stress.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I had a similar experience, I finished medical school in my country in Europe (6 years), which allows to practice general medicine, but then decided to leave after starting residency. Or rather, my body/mind decided for me, as I had become an empty walking shell of myself and fell into anorexia/depression and became completely burned out. I wish I had more clarity to make the decision on my own, rather than just failing to have the strength to continue. I was very fortunate to go into a PhD program, and I am now doing cancer research, more as a molecular biologist, although I still have a personal private practice on the side. I feel research is actually a good path for those who aim to understand diseases and change treatment with a higher impact - this is not really what most clinicians could do, even if they wanted to, as they are drowned by the day to day. Not everything is rosy in research, it's hard to find a path in Academia, half of the time is spent on writing grant applications or doing menial tasks instead of having the luxury to think about the data, salary is probably 20% of what an MD makes in the U.S. (still higher than in Europe lol), but at least it has the "potential" of being really meaningful. In my clinical rotations, I did not feel this potential, I could not even help individual patients due to lack of resources. I have never seen your channel before, but I wish you find your place in life, in whatever you decide to do next :)
They're not right zack. I just finished medical school and since the past 5 years i have always felt that the real change us doctors make is very miniscule. It's glorified by the world but in reality, researchers, pharmacologists.. these people are the ones making a real difference.
I truly believe you made the right decision at the right time and saved yourself. I'm too much of a coward, Scared of judgement from my family and friends. Plus, Medicine has wiped away any other hobbies, motivations or dreams that i had so i have no idea where to go if i leave medicine now.
You are a brave man and i am proud of you
100% agree about the researchers and pharmacologists part. I think the people who make the real difference are the people who invent to new techniques, new procedures, surgical techniques, medications and engineer the things that doctors use.
As someone who was thinking of med school and decided to do something else, it was the best decision I ever made. I think that constant comparing yourself to others stunts your personal growth so tremendously and reinforces such unhealthy habits, and I'm so glad I've steered myself in a different direction. I'm much happier 🙂 I'm glad you made the right decision for you, I applaud your courage.
I totally believe you are meant to still help people. If not internal medicine then something else. My son is going through this same process with getting a doctorate in chemistry. He plans on leaving. He feels a bit lost, but at this point he plans on using his chemistry to become a brewer. We all support him. We all support you on your path as well. Don't think of it as time and money spent lost. This was a path you needed to go on, and you've enriched our lives taking us on your path and helping us all be more!❤
Karen, too kind. It means a lot.
I wish him luck! Chemistry is tough but definitely is something that could be used in the future.
the "it'll be better when..." chain hit hard. Thanks for sharing your story, Zach; been a follower since nearly day-one. As a husband and father in medicine, things are tough. I often think about what life might be like outside of the rat chase. About to start residency next year, and going to keep plugging along for the time being, but who knows. Another kid on the way, and a lot of life to explore. Wishing you nothing but the best. Proud of you, brother.
I've been following your content for the past 5-6 years. Thank you for sharing your journey and vulnerability with us. May you rest well and recover physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Zach,
I don’t want to sit here and tell you how brave or bold your decision is. Nor do I want to tell you how smart or, on the other hand, how reckless it might seem. Honestly, that’s not my place, and I imagine plenty of people around you are already doing exactly that. What I really want to share with you is something else entirely, something that might require me to take a little detour from the usual line of thought. Let me start by introducing myself: I’m an 18-year-old student from Germany. My academic record is solid, good enough that I’ve been able to participate in various academic programs alongside some of the brightest minds. And although I’m not a medical student like you were, I’ve found myself relating deeply to the way you described your experience. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been telling everyone around me that I’m going to study medicine. It was just this path that made sense. People see it as a profession for the elite, something that only the best of the best can pursue. And since I always thought of myself as someone who belonged in that category, it felt like medicine was my inevitable future. That’s what everyone expected of me. And it’s what I expected of myself. But recently, something shifted. I’ve started to doubt whether medicine is truly what I want to do. I’ve started to question if it's really my calling, or if I’ve just been going along with this plan because it seemed like the logical next step. In short, I’ve been feeling lost, much like how you described your own sense of uncertainty. The truth is, I have no idea what to do next. I don’t have a clear direction. And here's the thing: your video didn’t magically provide me with a roadmap or a detailed plan for the future. It didn’t offer some concrete opportunity or a set of instructions for how to move forward. But in a way, it gave me something even more valuable than that. Your words reminded me of something crucial: I don’t have to follow a path just because it seems like the most prestigious or because it’s what people expect of me. I dn’t have to live up to some imagined standard of success that others have for me, or even one I’ve set for myself. You made me realize that doing what you “have to” do or what others think you should do won’t work in the long run, at least not if you want to feel fulfilled or like you’re doing something that truly matters. Now, I understand that whatever I choose to do, it has to be something that not only sounds right but feels right. It has to be something that I can fully commit to, something that will be worth all the effort and struggles that inevitably come with pursuing any path. It has to be worth the squeeze, so to speak. So, Zach, I just want to thank you. Thank you for sharing your experience and your perspective. You’ve given me something that would’ve otherwise taken me who knows how long-hours, days, months, maybe even years-to figure out on my own. You didn’t tell me exactly what I wanted to hear, but you told me what I needed to hear. And for that, I’m grateful. Thank you for the insight, for the clarity, and for the courage to question the direction I thought I had to follow. Your message was more than just a story about your own life; it was a nudge for me to think harder about mine.
Sincerely, An 18-year-old figuring it out too.
Amazing introspection and writing, and at 18?!? You will do great things.
My only piece of advice is to keep putting yourself out there. Try the scary things. Listen to the people you care about, but don’t set yourself on fire to keep them warm.
Keep me updated on your journey, would love to hear more: zach@zhighley.com
Hey, I usually never comment but what you said really resonated with me. I'm Italian and currently studying energy engineering. When I was 19 I chose to study engineering because it seemed like it was the right and only choice (alongside medicine), given my high grades and school record. Now at 24 I'm stuck in a bachelor degree I don't like, in classrooms full of super smart people and getting bad grades at my exams. This whole situation makes me frustrated and unsatisfied. After the first year I wanted to do something else because I already knew at that time that this path wasn't the right one, but my family convinced me to keep going. Now I regret the choice I made in high school and the fact that I didn't fight to change degree after that first year. So the advice I can give you is to really really think about what you like, because if you are passionate about something and you're smart (and I think you are based on what you wrote) you're going to be very good at whatever field of studies you're going to pursue. Don't choose your future based on perceived prestige or friends and family expectations.
And if at some point you realize you're not happy or satisfied and you would rather do something else: be brave and make the change because the life is yours and no one else's.
I don't know if this can be helpful, Zach has already said everything and he's been braver than me, but I hope we can create an environment where people that are smart don't feel forced to choose a path that is considered more "prestigious" in spite of their desires. :)
@@federicoardissone Thank you so much for sharing this with me! It really makes a big difference for me. I truly appreciate it.
@@ZachHighley
Thank you so much for the kind words and advice! I'll keep you posted on my progress!
Best regards ✌️
As a Newly graduated Medical Doctor from Dominican Republic I think you are so brave to say these things about residency. I'm actually studying for the steps but I think you'll do great in life. We should do the things that make us feel great. It's not the end Dr. Zach! YOU GO!
The most shocking video of all time. You are the best medtuber I've ever seen. Your content is way better than any medical channel on UA-cam. I wish you all the best man
Wow. You are brave. The most important person not to dissapoint in life is yourself. You saved you from that. You have always inspired me and this in another time that you made it. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
Heck yeah, Zach! Wild how we’ve taken so much time, so many years (and gap years!!) only to reach the same end point of disheartenment and disillusionment. I’m applying to residency now and I’ve got a little over a quarter tank left in me… I’m constantly coming up with ideas of how I can do something far from the medical system. This is becoming a prevalent theme and you are SO SUPPORTED! Good on you!
Zach, you are an expert storyteller, super charismatic, and very good at making inspirational videos. You keep learning and sharing your knowledge and it's a beautiful cycle. I'm sure compared to being in the clinic, the people you inspire and interact with who are grateful for what you do on your videos/blogs/newsletters are way more than 5%. It seems you are meant for so much more and you will still be affecting so many lives. You've created something super special and it's refreshing to see someone who is already so successful as you be so candid about their journey. I'm excited for you. Thank you.
You HAVE changed lives. Just this video alone has reframed my entire perspective. Thank you for this and no it is never easy leaving something that you’ve put your all into- something I can also relate all to well to. But we’re here for only a short time and too short to live with regrets or to hold onto things of the past out of fear of wasted time. THIS IS THE TIME RIGHT NOW. Change of it feels right and I’m sure in the future you will look back and see this as one of your best decisions
Bro, I never commented here, but I feel you. I am entering my last study year here in europe(netherlands) and tbh I am considering more and more to not persue a clinical carreer and do other things with my degree. thanks for speaking about the reality of being a doctor or med student. I hope you keep us a bit updated on your new path and also maybe drop a cheeky little video about alternative jobs or carreers with a medical degree ;)
Niet stoppen maat
How difficult is it to match into residency in the netherlands as a student from the middle east
@@boopboop9009 depends really if you studied here and your language skills and research plays sadly still a crucial role.
I’m a first year pathology resident and some days I love what I get to do and some days I’m wondering what side career I can build that will allow me to distance myself from medicine. I chose pathology ultimately because I don’t like, or believe in, the healthcare system and felt I was too far in to quit (I have basically no other skills lol). So I chose a specialty that allowed me to be in a diagnostic role rather than a role that “treated/healed” patients- although the idea that we really heal anybody is tenuous. It takes courage to do what you’ve done! Thank you for sharing.
As a psychiatrist who works with many medical students and residents, I was saddened to see this video. I strive to advise my students and residents to pursue a career path that best aligns with their core skills, interests, and values. It seems you may not have received sufficient counsel along your career path that gave you a more realistic sense of what the practice of medicine involves as well as greater insight into your goals. I wish you well as you pursue a new path. Every life experience can be a source of greater wisdom and fulfillment going forward.
'To thine own self be true'. I envy the insight you have into your needs and aspirations. I too left medicine - more than three years after graduating. For me, it was the wrong decision. Having done a 6 year MBBS in Australia, I had no undergrad to fall back on. No other employer really cares if you have a medical degree or not. I now work in IT. I hate it. I would go back to med in a heartbeat, but I will never be able to return. Am still dealing with the fallout. Thank you for your honesty. You have made the right choice for yourself, and are an inspiration to others who find themselves doing a job that does not give them a sense of fulfilment and achievement. I wish you ever success!
Don't worry brother, I was also at medical school and left after seeing how they're treated in the hospitals. Much love!!
It's so sad the US medical training system is so conducive to these kinds of reactions from people quitting being a doctor. I wanted to be a doctor but ultimately I couldn't deal with the sacrifices needed to pursue that path. It's just SO much. No matter how much you enjoy the science, people, etc at some point you realize that there is so much more to life than being consumed in this career. At least that's what it was for me. The part that really bothers me is people NEED great physicians and healthcare but more and more doctors are realizing that 'hey this really sucks' lol. But then there are those great souls that continue being doctors in spite of the sacrifice because they love it and make their own way so props to them.
100%, check my pinned comment, but I think there needs to be a major change.
Duh, it is self evident that being a doctor requires effort and sacrifice. As does any other career that requires high level of skill, training and provides high compensation.
@@jenayrandall9358 Thanks Jenay. Your comment really educated me on things I really had no idea about before. You're inspirational.
I truly appreciate your decision, and I’m sure that many clinical doctors around the world can relate to your feelings. The medical system is frustrating, often causing us to question our value and draining our energy, yet most of us feel stuck in this toxic cycle for many reasons, even though we can’t lie to ourselves. You are truly brave, just like your dad. Wishing you the best and a fresh, positive start on your future journey. We are always with you, Zach. 🍀
Jobs are like relationships. Once that excitement has passed, you start to notice all the little flaws. That does not mean you don't love it anymore it means you have to decide if you love it enough to be able to live with the flaws.
Dont quit just because you are burnt out. It is normal to be burn out after intern year and because of unmotivated people. You worked so hard for it. Yes we do spend time doing non medical stuff like in ANY job (realistically) but we do make a difference talking to patients and making diagnosis. I know I did. You are clearly a very authentic and passionate person and would really benefit people being a doctor. I say take a break and revisit your decision later. FYI i did training in Boston and it is ruthless part of me dont “ blame u”.
I can only imagine how difficult that decision must have been for you. I spent 13 years of my life dedicating myself to a career that I always wanted. I sacrificed a lot for it, I learned a lot, I loved every single bit of it, I was actually even great at it, but in the end, the dream was shattered because of a series of unfortunate events at my workplace. What followed, was an almost 2-year-process of recognizing the situation for what it was and coming clean about it. In the beginning, it was difficult for me to let go of something that had lasted so long and was so passionate, to let go of the identity I had created since I was an undergraduate. And in some way, it still is difficult to this day to accept what has happened. Yet I knew I had to move on and do something else. I started a completely new career this year and I do still feel kinda lost. But this is life. Sometimes, a dream is just not meant to be and all that remains then, is to go out and find another one. It happens. In fact, it happens to a lot of us. So stay strong and see every situation as an opportunity to grow. I'm sure you will end up in a good place after all. But thanks for sharing your story because it resonated deeply with me.
I am a premed, heavily debating and neurotically doubting my place in medicine. Thanks for this video. It’s a difficult decision for me because quite honestly I don’t know what else I could do with my life that would give me the perceived purpose I attribute to a medical doctor. I really appreciate your insight.
Same boat, I have never been more set on medicine, yet so doubtful.
literally same. we are in the trenches before the trenches guys
Zach, I just want to say that what you’ve done is very courageous (quitting your medicine career and also opening your heart to tell people about your decision in your video) it shows the kind of human being you are, and you should be very proud and at peace with yourself. Not wanting to be a zombie is a perfect reason to quit what you’re doing and very few people have the guts, or can afford to be that coherent with their life. I think there is a strong component of burnout in our society which I cannot yet relate to the working environment of our time, or to the level of expectations we hold for our lives… but that is another discussion… Good luck to you in whatever pursuit you take, you will do great!
I couldn't help but leave an early comment lol i'll be back to watch the whole thing .
GL man ! The Anki streets will never forget .
Anki4lyfe
@@ZachHighley u the man homie
Sending regards from Algeria 🇩🇿
I never comment on UA-cam but it’s surreal to see this after benefitting from all your anki, med school, and life advice through the years. Your description of the catharsis getting that first acceptance email is so spot on- I was laying in my bed and when I read those words I literally started shaking, laughing, and smiling uncontrollably. It wasn’t a great school, it was across the country and costed $80K/yr, but it was my dream. It was such a visceral response I doubt I will have again in my lifetime. So much work riding on a single email. Another aspect this video reminded me of is that social media is not reality. People love to idolize medinfluencers as these perfect, hard working, always positive, always balanced, always happy gifts to medicine, and I’m so happy you were realistic about some of your struggles that are all too common among us in medicine.
I’m glad you’re feeling better and I’m so sorry for any hate or stress this decision has caused-there are a lot of bitter, unhappy people in medicine as you touched on. I would be remiss though if I didn’t give a small criticism from the video which is that I wish you touched on the privilege you have in being able to make this choice. Residents without an established social media platform and other incomes would almost certainly be in financial peril without landing a consulting or other industry job quickly after stopping residency. I don’t mean to diminish your accomplishments/hard work here as I absolutely think this channel has touched and guided so many students, but it does give you a unique degree of agency as a resident. I think for struggling residents, this only worsens the feeling of being trapped in this never-ending path-socially as you covered well but also financially. I hope things can change for the better but the reality of modern medicine makes it tough to be optimistic. Wishing you the absolute best of luck in whatever you go into. I’m confident you’ll find something that will impact a lot of people. And PS you are a great orator haha
Hey man was shocked at the title but totally get it . Even here in Australia the medical profession is pushed to the brink. Your over worked exhausted and I can see why you have made the decision you made. Hope you find your dream and keep letting us all view it on here
I got a job as a medical device rep and was a top performer in part because of your videos on Anki, studying, and reflections on life in medical school. Life is about making the hard choices and choosing what you want to suffer for. Congrats on figuring it out. The experience will never be wasted!
Thanks for all the content (and vulnerability) over the years!
Zach, I never comment on youtube videos, ever. But I want to you to know this.
I got into medical school 2 years after you did and you were like that older brother who taught younger siblings how to get through life. You taught me how to apply, how to study for pre-clinicals, and even setting up my anki. Your mentorship through your videos were invaluable to my journey as a soon-to-be-physician and I'm not sure how I would've gone through it without you and your videos.
I support your decision and I'm excited where you'll go next. You don't have to be a physician treating patients to make an impact. You made a big impact already and you should be proud of that. I hope you find that juice that is worth squeezing. Please update us with your journey.
Thank you again.
Hey Zach! I have been here since forever. I am so glad you listened to your inner voice. No faint hearted can do that. In the end none of it will matter as long as you are happy. I am really looking forward to your journey ahead. Onwards and Upwards we goooo!
WOW! Congratulation and all the best. It's great when, especially, doctors are honest to themselves. You will make it. You can do everything (almost) with your medicine study. I love how honest U.S.- doctors are. Here in Germany many doctors hate their jobs, harm their patients, but still stay in their jobs. They do not help anyone, only harm, as they burnt out for many years already. So, great that you are honest, and in the first lane to yourself. All the best to you.
You sound so passionate, I hope you don't struggle with your decision. With passion, you'll do great things.
Very bittersweet video considering you're the one that helped me set up my Anki haha. There are times tho I can definitely relate and sometimes ask "Is the juice worth the squeeze?". As a PGY1 I feel that I may still be in that "honeymoon" stage but there are definitely days where I've left the hospital like, "F this... I am not coming back".
For those that are considering medicine, you really need to ask yourself if there is anything else you could see yourself doing. Medicine to me is just as, if not more demanding than it is rewarding. I'm working with people who are parents that can maybe kids maybe twice a week. You're constantly tired. And hobbies and interests are at times completely tossed out the window.
I just want to say this couldn't have come at a more perfect timing for me. im in my early 30's and like you my dream was to always get into med school. I had like 8 years (master's work experience, etc) gap. but taking tests was never for me and ultimately during second year I was dismissed ( I only had gotten into 1 DO school). luckily I had a very supportive family. this happened a few months ago. I know in my case I was forced to leave but now i'm forced to find passion in other ways and like you I hope to make a difference in another way. if anyone reading this has had a similar experience, please reach out. I still think about med but I really need to move on.
I started watching your study guides after I started losing my drive in school. I have a year left in undergrad and I've been fumbling and stressing around on whether or not I go to medschool or not. The worst part is I don't have anyone to talk about how much it's messing me up, and how anxious I am about it all. Everyone around me is expecting me to be the first doctor in my family and its this huge pressure to not mess everything up all the time. It's videos like this that help me more than anything. Thank you for your honesty and I wish us both well in our future endeavours.
Have you said this to them? Your friends? And counselor?
I’m sure they would want to see you happy.
Be careful you aren’t mixing up something being hard vs something being something you dislike. They are different.
Thank you for sharing your honest and uneasy experience with us. Just finished reading the book ’Quit’ and well, if anything, you’re doing amazing, definitely courageous and on the right track in your life:) Proud of you!!
i never clicked on a video so fast!
++++!!!!!
He was my role model as a medical student!
I'm shocked
The instinct for gossip exists everywhere in the world.
😂😂😂😂
Thank you for the support! I wonder what will come out of this...
Means a lot to me, thank you.
100%.
Felt the same way. Then decided to go to pathology residency. One of the best decisions ever. Consider pathology residency too. You most likely will like it.
Zach it sounds like you were in a pretty malignant residency. Many of my friends who are in inner city residencies are feeling the same.
Your decision is sound.
You have made an impact on me profoundly. I think that you would be an amazing medical educator.
Thanks Nick! Really, honestly, the residency program wasn't bad.
The people and doctors were amazing.
It was a purely personal decision based on the profession in its entirety.
Just wanted to say thank you for making this video and being so honest about your experiences. I left medical school in October 2022 and it was easily the hardest decision I've ever made. I had made it to my clinical rotations, passed Step 1 and put so much time, energy and money into the entire process (I also did a post-bacc program). I felt so much shame and disappointment when I left and had a really hard time telling people about it, but seeing this video helped validate a lot of my own feelings and thoughts about leaving something as prestigious and grueling as medical school. Really great video.
Well done - glad you are happy now
Zack! Your story is so moving. And even if you aren’t going through with the medical career. Just what you have lived through and telling that story. Will change thousands of peoples lives. You are such a big inspiration to so many people including myself, and the inevitable comments that are negative do come just remember that you can change lives just by being honest! Jesus has used your life in a crazy way! Keep being awesome! And can’t wait to see where this next chapter of your life takes you! Take care Zack!
Your pomodoro study with me changed my world when I went back to college. I'm so proud of you for being true to yourself, we so often get stuck on the emotional, time, or actual (fiscal) sunk cost that that we don't make changes that are better for us.
I love your video. And I love how you are honest to your own heart.
Zach I feel you totally, I’ve been struggling too in deciding about my future and if the juice is worth the squeeze!! It’s tough, stay with your decision you’ll be good! :)) I just graduated in medicine and I’m looking into which specialty to go in and it’s kind of killing me
Although you're the last person that I would have seen this coming from, I still could feel it, especially in the last couple of videos, it was clear something was causing you pain from within, and that you couldn't so easily talk about...
Wish you the best!
First year med student here. This is therapy. Been watching your videos for years. We love you bro. I love you. This is much needed for those in medicine, those considering leaving and those who are trying to get in. Thank you for being vulnerable.
Wow. I was just watching your videos as a medical student in order to gauge what life is like as a student, as I hope to become one in 2025.
I honestly did not expect this, but I applaud you tremendously for having the courage to carry out this decision. I know a lot of people wouldn't be able to say the same, even though they want out just as badly.
Good Luck in this new chapter of yours Zach. I have no doubt you'll exceed in whatever endeavor you pursue.
I can’t thank you enough for making this video. I watched it all the way through and I’ve never related to anything more in my entire life. I’ve come to realize that for me, the juice is not worth the squeeze. I haven’t even applied to med school yet and the magic has already disappeared for me. I’ve essentially come to terms with it and recognize that there is something else meant for me in life and I have to follow my heart. Once again, I can’t thank you enough. Your story means so much to me and I believe it has saved me from experiencing so much pain. Thank you Zach ❤
I feel you. I spent 9 years studying theology thinking I'd be an academic and teach. I finished my education. Then I decided, "No. I don't want to do this."
Many people studying theology lose their faith. Ask yourself why. God bless you.
Zach, you don't have to be honors. You don't have to always outcompete your cohort. Your patient at 1am could not care less, so long as you are caring, humble, and competent. None of those qualities are borne out of competition. Once you begin practice, no one will ever know or care about class standing or grades. Just care for the patient, maintain competence and be responsible.
I'm a 50 yr old Medical Doctor doing Family Medicine and I think a full time youtuber career is incompatible with a specialist doctor in training lifestyle and that's why you feel burnt out. You are not being fair to yourself as you are burning the candle at both ends trying to succeed at both. Why not give specialist training life a proper go by giving up youtube for a year or 6 months and just focus on excelling in your specialty training and then re-evaluate. Only after NOT doing any youtube and just pure medicine and then take stock on how you feel. If you still feel the same, then go ahead and quit medicine. Who knows, you may find that just doing medicine only for 6 months and nothing else will have you fall in love with being a doctor again.
Younger generations are more focused on their mental health while the older generations have had hardships and can deal with stress better. Welcome to the new generations
I just got accepted into med school and felt a huge wave of depression. This really resonated with me. I’m going to see it through but I don’t know what the future holds.
Hey, don't feel depressed, I really think it's a magical thing, please read my pinned comment.
I left medicine/med school too, no regrets. If I saved anyone, it was definitely myself (as I was losing myself in the process of being a doctor)… and I’m glad I did. There is life outside med!
I was worried at the beginning of the video, but at the end... I know you got it. To next adventure. Cheers from Brazil.
An encouraging message indeed brother, and I respect you for preserving who you are in face of a tempting alternative. God gives us one life!
- 1st year DO student and past EMT
Mad respect Zach - You made your own choice, and your going to succeed, no matter what.
Thanks Matthew!! Really appreciate it.
I loved the transparency, thank you.
Just watched the ENTIRE video haha. Loved getting to know more about you as a person really found your story interesting and inspiring man. I loved the "is the juice worth the squeeze" analogy. I totally support your choice even if it was for sure a hard one to make. Thanks for sharing your story much love ❤
Thank you so much!!
I'm blown away at your storytelling abilities, this video was like a performance! Thank you for your bravery & transparency and wishing you the best.
To me, the smile at the end where you remember thinking, "this is the right decision for me" says it all. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to leave the expected path and go in a different direction. You only have one life to live, so spending time in something that's making you miserable when you have options would be pretty tragic. I'm thinking about the journey Ryan Holiday made for some parallels, and he seems pretty content with following his interests and departing from expectations. Thanks for sharing the journey so far! I'm sure all you've done will enrich whatever you do next.
Love Ryan Holiday, and thanks for the support! Wise words.
Dude. You’re a rockstar for this. I’m an M1 - been following you for a HOT minute. You inspired me. Encouraged me along the journey. I’m grateful to say that because of you, I feel very differently than you do. I’m happy to be here. At peace. Fulfilled. Not striving. Just enjoying. It’s good.
You deserve that feeling. You’ve done enough already, Doc. Find your peace in this season.
I left healthcare as well, for a minimum paying job (as well as content creation) and I could not be happier.
Would love to hear about what made you make this decision.
@@ZachHighley yeah for sure!
So, I wasn't a Doctor like you, however, I was a Personal Support Worker. I've worked in Retirement & Long Term Care, and the last home I worked for, made the decision for me.
At this particular home (subsidized by the Government here in Canada), I handled medications/narcotics, and did nursing duties rather than personal care.
I was the only staff in the building, for most of my shifts, looking after 30+ residents on my own, plus doing other duties like laundry, snacks, etc.
During my time here, I had many things that happened, but the worst was when I first started. I had a resident fall down the basement stairs (because two residents lived in the basement), and I was all alone. He cracked open his head, blood everywhere including on me, and the cherry on top was that there was no reception down there so I had trouble calling 911.
You would think after this experience they would make sure there was more staff there, but nope! I was alone all the time, and trying to manage the home on my own, while giving the right meds to the right residents, while dealing with falls, and everything else that could possibly go wrong, was just too much.
The owner didn't care about us, which he said, and my sanity was not worth the extra money. The thing that made me quit however, was that a resident died (not on my shift), and the home didn't find her until 8 hours later... how does that happen.
So, I quit without notice, got a job in the supplements department at a health food store, and have better work-life balance, more time to do content creation (i'm a bigger creator on insta and tiktok), and am way happier.
Quite the story, but I'm never going back.
I have been watching your videos for the past 3 years and when I tell you my jaw dropped when I read the title of the video.. I'm shocked. I had to finish the entire video and I'm honestly so happy for you! Another way of thinking this is that you've set yourself free :)
You mean bragging about productivity lead to burn out? Go figure…. It’s nice to be rich and have these choices. Hard work is hard go figure. Gas lighting people that 100% productivity all the time is the way is what lead to this and this type of content is what makes med students not speak out about burn out.
Glad you’re going public about it now….. but years of gas lighting for UA-cam growth is pretty silly.
I commend you for making a decision that is based on honoring your inner voice and knowing. You have outgrown the imagined ideal and now get to use your knowledge and experience to pursue the next right thing for your journey in life. You’ve proven to yourself you can accomplish whatever you set out to accomplish through hard work and determination. Now you’re giving yourself the gift of healing. Thank you for sharing your truth in a raw, honest, vulnerable way. I can’t wait to see what’s next for you.