For some reason, I believe the wife did try to make a move on the older sister, because she never denied it happening, she just said "you took that the wrong way" and immediately started attacking her looks....she did that shit LOL
Lmaooo they all do! As if she can call someone unattractive 😂😂! That happened to me one time and I never even said he tried to talk to me. He immediately came for my looks and my height and that I date lame ninjas and all of that. I just laughed
@Dakota Yea I agree. There’s clearly something that’s not right. And I feel like this wasn’t right setting to give them the healing they really needed. Exploitation 💯
Oh most definitely! I said the same and someone come out the woodworks talking about “wHaTaReYoUtAlKiNgAbOuT 🥴🥴🥴” 🤦🏾♀️😩🤣🤣🤣👏🏾🤷🏽♀️ I didn’t even read past that point. A bunch of blah blah blah. Like I said what I said. The mom and sister denied the oldest sister’s feelings.
@Blatina Yea there’s a bias there. I’ve noticed whenever there’s a guest who’s apart of that community he tends to take their side. And when you’re counseling people you can’t be biased whatsoever.
She definitely hit Valina, and the sister is indeed the golden child who expects all of the attention to be on her for just existing. I hope that Valina is able to learn more about narcissistic abuse and dysfunctional family dynamics, because they all could be the poster child.
The mother was not going to admit to abusing her child with an extension cord on tv. A lot of families have done this with their children. Many have gotten beaten with a water-hose and paddle too. That’s how it was in the 1980’s. Furthermore, I truly hope their mother daughter relationships heal and get better. I cried watching this.
Yeah, that daughter Belina seem to be a bit touched. That story could be fabricated, she may be the one whom got them put into foster care for making up stories. I believe the switch however if the youngest don't remember and they were so called close, I don't think it actually happend she may still be on pills.
That happened to me in water. Jump ropes. Water hose. All of that displaced anger that nobody has accountability for today. I don’t bring it up because I know I can break my mom down quick. She still though decides to show her behind like I can’t. This is generational trauma. I identified it by asking questions that led me back to my grandparents abandonments issues from their parents. Five freaking generations and counting. It’s sad.
I got whipped with an extension cord one time by my father and I was totally out of line. It never happened again. I can look back and say that happened. But it's over and done with now. I love my dad to the moon and back.
You’re right, my mom did the same thing. Yardstick rulers, car racetracks, anything she could get her hands on. Now acts as though it never happened. Maybe they try to erase it from their memory because of the shame of it all.
@Blatina401 I apologize didn't mean for lying bro. She meant by hurting her. :/ if she didn't say "i apologize for lying" you Can't assume she was apologizing for lying. I took the sorry, as "sorry for the things i did", example - even tho she denied having a knife in one of the fights, thats the mom and sisters experience and she apologizes for that. Im not saying she apologized for that either but you can't assume that apologizing for lying.
Factz the oldest sister say she was abused then the younger sister like nah Mama's not like that I Don't remember Mama but then she contradicts herself and turns around and talk about how she was abused....wtf
Right like she was being disrespectful for no reason when she knew what she did was wrong and for her to say "well you took it the wrong way" is even crazier
@@asiajohnson-pd8wr you bitter in all these comments if you keep it real you won’t have to feel no type of way it happened and you know it but the truth always comes to light
Factz what happened to me didn't happen but everything that happened to you happy he seemed like everything that she said about her sister is really how she acts
Long story short the older sister was physically, and verbally abused by the mother and mentally manipulated by her mother she literally invalidates her truth by saying it did not happen. The younger sister was mentally manipulated by her mother and verbally abused. I truly wish people actually listened.
@@CcBeautiful94 It means a child who' s the favorite in the family. For example, if you're the oldest and have a younger sibling that seems to get more attention than you, that makes them the golden child. Other factors are parents put a lot of pressure on the golden child to be perfect at everything and comparing the other sibling(s) to them. Most of the time, these golden children were raised by parents who are narcissists. The golden child does everything to please his or her parents.
Two siblings can have different experiences with the same parents. I’m 1 year older than my sister but she doesn’t remember our childhood the same way I do. So this isn’t surprising. With that being said, the older sister looks disturbed.
I have a friend, her brother is like 3 years younger and they had to have a talk because they did not understand how the other saw their childhood. It's amazing
It is amazing the way siblings see their childhoods!!! I have been dealing with this myself with my siblings but also more recently having to get my nieces and nephews to understand this for them too.
I noticed that whoever is the first person to speak, is always the person that the audience sides with no matter what they do, or say, they are right to the audience
Oh they definitely get that advantage to paint their picture. Anything after that is pretty much someone trying to prove otherwise but the audience has subconsciously made their minds all the way up.
the first one to speak is the one that initiated the mediation through the show. I'm this particular case, is also the most stable/rational/open for resolution from the group
it’s def not something you forget at all. I am 25 years old and I still to this day remember , my 5 siblings and I getting “whoopings” w/ extension cords when we were kids. you don’t just forget something like that
I believe the sister. The wife literally disrespected her and she said nothing but at every corner defending her wife. Yeah the sister is broken for real. It’s a show for the other one. Smh
If not wanting her to be sad and abused by her family emotionally and using pills which is a quick death and slow depending on your use. Than let it be that.
I fully agree!! this one has me genuinely baffled. Could the pills and drinking messed up their memory to that extent? There is definitely unspoken historical abuse of a few forms that the mum and younger sister have worked hard to suppress. The poor older sister.... A very sad strange scenario.
Valena needs to stay away from her “mother and sister” the mother is full of it and seems happy with this dynamic between her daughters and the little sister is forever the victim.
Seems like she upset the that the older one didn’t succumb to her advances and just like a scorned man is calling the sister names and disrespecting her because of that when the wife isn’t a cup of tea neither
Valina gives addict vibes. When she spoke I couldn’t take my 👀 off her mouth and body language. Mom has certainly played a major role in her daughter’s dysfunction. This family needs prayer and professional therapy.
There was definitely a lot left unsaid, the oldest daughter still hasn't gotten her proper apologies. The younger daughter was saying how she hates how it's all good and the pretending that nothing happened but she is the reason for that, the older sister even said "why don't you talk to me" and I think that's from the younger sister wanting people to come to her when there's something wrong with her instead of being the one to reach out. And I also feel there was a lot of the younger sister invalidating the older sister's feelings and I feel like that should've been talking about, let me know what yall think
I think the younger sister was invalidating the older sister on purpose. She was constantly getting defensive and acting like her sister was her enemy. I think she has been gaslighting her sister for a long time and she was playing victim. I feel bad for the older sister because she was never validated . They were very dismissive of her and you can tell that’s been the dynamic since childhood. And why did they go to foster care? The younger sister acting like it was for no reason.
It's obv that there are favorites. There was a lot of gaslighting towards the oldest. No one was able to acknowledge the oldest truth whether or not it happened, but they were so quick to recognize the youngest. This is too common in families with siblings, especially in black homes.
@@shanellpride2377 if it doesn’t apply let it fly. Black woman do treat each other like shit but treat the men like kings when these men be disrespecting us. We do need to do better wether you agree or not.
What a terrible mom and sister they literally gaslighting the older she said it happened why would she lie about it and the younger one clearly doesn’t remember
Unfortunately, Valena don’t feel heard IMO. I’ve said this before, but idk why there’s such a disconnect between mother/ oldest daughter in cultures, it’s sad AF. Barbara hasn’t experienced Valenas trauma to say it was untrue and make judgement. What You may not went through doesn’t mean Your sibling no matter how close y’all are or close in age, didn’t. My sister and Me are a year apart and My mother always seemed to love her more, compliment her, praise her etc., I feel her behavior is disgusting but I now just keep my distance, I don’t need anyone who’s not for me or who isn’t genuine and kind, around!
The words, the moment before the embrace and of course the embrace was so lovely, a real tearjerker. Mom finally releasing suppressed tears and saying it hurt to be called toxic, daughter intently looking into her eyes and apologizing and mom saying shes always missed her. Soooo beautiful.
The fact that YOU did not see it doesnt mean it didnt happen . In highschool i studied so muxh i became extremely depressed and physically sick And my mother would always tell me no u do not study at all since i never see u study . It drove me crazy literally . And at some point i genuinely started to lose my mind because of how much she was gaslighting me
the first one to be toxic was the wife. I can see why Valina aint wanna be part of that. So hard to watch all these people gaslighting Valina. Good on her that she trusts herself.
I’ve been gaslight too that I wasn’t neglected in my childhood today and abused and ppl say “ I’ve always taken good care of you “ I really do wish the mom just apologized to Velena for what she put her through , and I get that kids need to be disciplined but the method needs to be well thought out .
Oh no. I wish I hadn’t seen this story before, guys, the wife is treating her badly, it’s reopening unhealed childhood wounds and she doesn’t feel like she can direct that to her wife so she’s taking it out in the family because they’re the cause of the original wound, even if they would help her now she can’t stand up for herself now in her relationship because of the past abuse so the additional pain is attributed to the family, velena was gaslit at the end and shouldn’t have apologized to the wife who insulted her, if she has a grievance with her wife insulting her calling her unattractive and being rude she has a right to that it’s not ok to act like she’s wrong for being upset, she apologized to the wife but she shouldn’t have (even though it was well intentioned) and the wife responded with “I apologize for whatever” because it could get her good credit in public so that barbara will feel guilty when she’s rude at home later, yes the family itself has issues, but the main reason it’s escalated the way it has is the wife, her silence is convenient, Barbara saying her wife “isn’t for the weak” isn’t a coincidence, I used to say my ex was “trying to fix it” to people who were worried about me, it’s so clear to me how the wife is causing issues in that family it is SO convenient how she’s sitting in the audience quiet, the issues in the family are real but the wife twists the knife behind the scenes and that’s why Barbara has a lot of difficulty dealing with the family now, the wife is making it worse
Alot of times we go through trauma & we block it out mentally. Especially childhood trauma, parts of your childhood you might not remember at all because of how crazy things were. This situation hits close to home, unfortunately alot of these toxic family dynamics are within alot of our families.
Spouses come between Family Too, and will use the line “they’re protecting their wife/Partner etc.,” but in reality , they’re instigating, manipulating, verbally abusive and physically abusive. The wife is no saint at all. She’s sneaky disrespectful and have a hidden agenda. For Barbara to say she’s controlling and not for the weak VS she’s supportive and there for Me and the only person in My corner while dealing with Family issues, says a Bunch. Barbara feel stuck because she’s having issues with Family and Parter. That never end well. Get back close to Your Family but set boundaries, seek therapy and heal so You won’t rely on a partner who’s using Your family woes to protect You because of they’re hidden jealousy, insecurities and issues.
I wish that my folks would do this because there's so much trauma. No one except for me seems to actually want to heal the family trauma and it hurts so much because I just want to have a happy family. Nothing's perfect, but at least we talk through some stuff, so I can be myself in front of them again. I feel like there's a huge part of myself that won't heal because of this and i guess I'll just accept it and create a family of my own to break the family curses and cycles.
This was a cute segment. There are soooo many variables affecting communication, repair, and togetherness in this family. In the end, they showed up for one another and each to the first steps. Proud of them. 💕
She turned on her sister quick as hell after her sister tried to tell her about her girl just because your girl think you're the most beautiful girl in the world to her is not mean she wouldn't step out on you the only way she won't step out on you is if she loved you more than she loves any other female in the world
This saddens me ,,,, I have one sister and we have NEVER had a physical altercation and the last time we argued we were 12 and 7 years old,,,, my sister’s husband is my brother, as mine is hers,my mother loves and respects us as adult woman….so all of this is very foreign to me and I pray that this family can find some healing and peace in their lives,,,,we all we got❤️
The older sister I believe is being honest my mom did this to me and my brother for years he said he was badly abused by one of her boyfriends I didn’t believe him partly because I was too young and my mom had made him seem like a problem child my whole life meanwhile as I got older I realized he was telling the truth all along
This sound like my sister and I. I’m the youngest and I had to realize although it’s painful with someone speaking their truth about someone you love it’s their truth. You have to be open minded and understanding when it comes to things like this. It’s a very touchy situation I pray they get it together and just love one another
I couldve seen the guilt on the lesbian girls face when the sister said she touched her and it felt strange and her sister is so delusional...those types of people kill themselves when their relationship fails. How the hell she saying that shes the most beautiful thing to her wife, she would like to believe that but shes not in her heart or mind
Burying her head in the sand since she scared of the wife anyway...what does being the most beautiful thing have to do with if she lasting, cheating etc!! 🙄
So much admiration and respect for this whole family for making an appearance on this show and taking a step toward improving their relationships. Wish my family could do the same.
Valina needs her own episode, because I feel like they gaslighted her the whole time. Karamo included. It triggered me 😂 SN: Why tf does the wife stare like that?! It’s eerie
They were all mis communicating but you can feel the love they have for one another. I know he can help them understand what the other is actually saying
As a woman and mommy...No matter what be the best mother you can be. Take care of your children and parents. Everything else good in your life is a bonus blessing. ❤🎉
The sister needs a apology cause they were treating her so bad, not even trying to acknowledge there could be any truth to her words and I think the only reason she apologized was so she could get out of there😢
Karamo your leaving these to unanswered for me. Fist the wife comes in a completely disrespects the older sister when it’s not about her, then the older sister is gaslit and being talked over, and at the end it’s her apologizing instead of yall digging deep into what she was saying. She was gaslighted until the end, I hope she’s doing great. She deserves better.
I didn’t respect this one , and I say that because the oldest sister was TOTALLY invalidated by everyone. She didn’t get to be heard. Where as the youngest was able to voice how she felt. People consistently talked over her , and because her truth wasn’t their truth her truth didn’t matter. I’m actually quite disappointed in this. Youngest got the softer kinder side to mama ; where as everyone looked at big sister as if she was a liar, and I firmly believe she was honest about her experience. I hate that there is always that one black sheep in almost every black family , and that’s what this gave.
He needs a real professional to help on the show...How did they just skip over the fact that they were in foster care and the younger sister says she doesn't know why? Maybe the younger sister has suppressed memories.
Wait so she apologized to the younger daughter bt not the older one. Smh.Just bc the youngest doesn't remember doesn't mean it didn't happen. I'm the youngest of 7. When the older ones talk about stuff I'm like wat?? Lol. Guess I was to young when it happened
From what I’m seeing is the younger sister is narcissistic and the mom is feeding into that … valina knew they were going to keep denying the truth so she choose too be the bigger person and apologize
They haven’t worked anything out. Without the proper intervention (therapy) they will be back at odds once they leave this show. They need to do a deep inner work, each one of them.
@@se_me1756 Let me better explain the younger sister stated that they haven't talked in 5 years so this is definitely a start in the right direction Karomo and this Show got them to a point where there at least talking it might take another 5 years for them to fully recover but at least they have made this tremendous effort my prayers are truly with this family!🙏🏽
The sister mouth like that due to the pills. But, I believe her when she said that her sister’s wife made her feel uncomfortable. And, I believe the sister is telling the truth about them being abused. The woman was so young she blocked it out.
I can't speak for these ladies childhood, but we got whoopns and had to get our own switch when WE ACTED OUT and this is how we grew up in the south. With that being said it was about being respectful and staying in a childs place. i don't think she is lying about that at all but they do need to sit down and talk it out
I’m crying because whyyyy do we have to go thru this I’m praying for all daughters who feel like you wasn’t worthy of your moms love I’m so sorry 💔 I know how you feel & it hurts so bad I’m 29 & just last week my mom fought me & I had to sit there & take it if not my sister said they’d jump in if I swung back I tried to protect myself tho but my kids was there so I just caved in & it hurts so much more knowing my sisters are brainwashed to believe I’m a bad person when I’m the one everyone calls on when they need stuff but when they no longer need me I’m the target if you feel like I do I’m sorry & I pray one day we all get our closure. Also the day my mom fought me in front of my kids she then called the police because my boyfriend came to my defense when the police came they saw my face & locked my mom up I felt free I felt good I felt worthy I just kept thanking the officers for seeing it wasn’t me but it was her I was so scared I was going to jail because my mom got different personalities she’ll treat me so bad but turn around & act like Michele Obama to others even when she tried to lie to the police they knew she was lying I just felt protected my inner child was overjoyed that finally somebody stood up for me & wasn’t scared to do so !
The older sister is not lying. Her family gaslights her and tries to make her sound crazy. Her younger sister and mother are very much in cahoots to make the older sister go crazy from their emotional, verbal abuse.
This is literally how my sister is to me she told me she wanted me dead by 18 I’m about to be 16 in July she’s always tryna fight me and she be fighting my mom. I feel so bad for her there’s definitely a lot left that’s unsaid fr fr
BS She's not married to her.... you can't demand that your sister be respectful to your wife if she doesn't like her, you should respect the boundaries that your sisters set.
I lived through this she is the black sheep of the family and the mom facilitated it. Everybody protects mom and attacks the whipping post. The sister could at least acknowledge that the spouse made the sister uncomfortable.
It makes my blood boil when someone says _____ didn't happen to you when you know for a fact it did. It's just gaslighting smh
facts.
For some reason, I believe the wife did try to make a move on the older sister, because she never denied it happening, she just said "you took that the wrong way" and immediately started attacking her looks....she did that shit LOL
Lmaooo they all do! As if she can call someone unattractive 😂😂! That happened to me one time and I never even said he tried to talk to me. He immediately came for my looks and my height and that I date lame ninjas and all of that. I just laughed
@@dayshialynette6699 Just guilty as hell...😂😂😂 They be making it obvious
Yeah probably was trying to see something lol
Then gon say "I apologize for whatever I did" GIRL APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING HER UNCOMFORTABLE
I feel bad for the oldest daughter the most. They stayed denying her truth and gaslighting her smh
@Dakota Yea I agree. There’s clearly something that’s not right. And I feel like this wasn’t right setting to give them the healing they really needed. Exploitation 💯
Yeah they're gaslighting
Oh most definitely! I said the same and someone come out the woodworks talking about “wHaTaReYoUtAlKiNgAbOuT 🥴🥴🥴” 🤦🏾♀️😩🤣🤣🤣👏🏾🤷🏽♀️ I didn’t even read past that point. A bunch of blah blah blah. Like I said what I said. The mom and sister denied the oldest sister’s feelings.
fr man
@Blatina Yea there’s a bias there. I’ve noticed whenever there’s a guest who’s apart of that community he tends to take their side. And when you’re counseling people you can’t be biased whatsoever.
She definitely hit Valina, and the sister is indeed the golden child who expects all of the attention to be on her for just existing. I hope that Valina is able to learn more about narcissistic abuse and dysfunctional family dynamics, because they all could be the poster child.
The mother was not going to admit to abusing her child with an extension cord on tv. A lot of families have done this with their children. Many have gotten beaten with a water-hose and paddle too. That’s how it was in the 1980’s. Furthermore, I truly hope their mother daughter relationships heal and get better. I cried watching this.
Yeah, that daughter Belina seem to be a bit touched. That story could be fabricated, she may be the one whom got them put into foster care for making up stories. I believe the switch however if the youngest don't remember and they were so called close, I don't think it actually happend she may still be on pills.
That happened to me in water. Jump ropes. Water hose. All of that displaced anger that nobody has accountability for today. I don’t bring it up because I know I can break my mom down quick. She still though decides to show her behind like I can’t. This is generational trauma. I identified it by asking questions that led me back to my grandparents abandonments issues from their parents. Five freaking generations and counting. It’s sad.
I got whipped with an extension cord one time by my father and I was totally out of line. It never happened again. I can look back and say that happened. But it's over and done with now. I love my dad to the moon and back.
You’re right, my mom did the same thing. Yardstick rulers, car racetracks, anything she could get her hands on. Now acts as though it never happened. Maybe they try to erase it from their memory because of the shame of it all.
@Blatina401
I apologize didn't mean for lying bro. She meant by hurting her. :/ if she didn't say "i apologize for lying" you Can't assume she was apologizing for lying.
I took the sorry, as "sorry for the things i did", example - even tho she denied having a knife in one of the fights, thats the mom and sisters experience and she apologizes for that.
Im not saying she apologized for that either but you can't assume that apologizing for lying.
I think there should have been a lie detector test because I believe the older sister.
Factz the oldest sister say she was abused then the younger sister like nah Mama's not like that I Don't remember Mama but then she contradicts herself and turns around and talk about how she was abused....wtf
100
Yes I believe the older sister and they were holding back
“Look at my wife, and look at you” is CRAZY
Right like she was being disrespectful for no reason when she knew what she did was wrong and for her to say "well you took it the wrong way" is even crazier
Right!
She actually looks better than her sister to me
😂😂😂😂😂
@@asiajohnson-pd8wr you bitter in all these comments if you keep it real you won’t have to feel no type of way it happened and you know it but the truth always comes to light
They were mad disrespectful to and disregarded everything the oldest daughter said and went through.
Just Because you Didn't see it, doesn't mean it didn't happen I hate we people try to tell you about your life.
Yes exactly she was gaslighting her older sister
Factz what happened to me didn't happen but everything that happened to you happy he seemed like everything that she said about her sister is really how she acts
Exactly 💯💯
Long story short the older sister was physically, and verbally abused by the mother and mentally manipulated by her mother she literally invalidates her truth by saying it did not happen. The younger sister was mentally manipulated by her mother and verbally abused. I truly wish people actually listened.
it sounds like Barbara was the golden child in the famly. You can see it in their interactions
What’s a golden child?
@@CcBeautiful94 the child who gets treated better and can do no wrong in the parents eyea
@@CcBeautiful94 It means a child who' s the favorite in the family. For example, if you're the oldest and have a younger sibling that seems to get more attention than you, that makes them the golden child. Other factors are parents put a lot of pressure on the golden child to be perfect at everything and comparing the other sibling(s) to them. Most of the time, these golden children were raised by parents who are narcissists. The golden child does everything to please his or her parents.
@@angeltv3112 It’s sad that there are people with parents like that. Can’t imagine all the unnecessary pressure that’s put onto them
@@Darkstalker1012 absolutely. It must be horrible
Two siblings can have different experiences with the same parents. I’m 1 year older than my sister but she doesn’t remember our childhood the same way I do. So this isn’t surprising.
With that being said, the older sister looks disturbed.
I have a friend, her brother is like 3 years younger and they had to have a talk because they did not understand how the other saw their childhood. It's amazing
It is amazing the way siblings see their childhoods!!! I have been dealing with this myself with my siblings but also more recently having to get my nieces and nephews to understand this for them too.
The way the oldest daughter was treated was ridiculous. Karamo should have checked up on her! Barbara seems to get what she wants. That’s so wrong.
The sisters wife has a weird vibe on her . Even that weird blank stare . I see why the sister doesn’t like her
This!!!
That part
Righttt
Yes, def felt it. She is the type of person I would avoid in reality.
I agree.
I noticed that whoever is the first person to speak, is always the person that the audience sides with no matter what they do, or say, they are right to the audience
Oh they definitely get that advantage to paint their picture. Anything after that is pretty much someone trying to prove otherwise but the audience has subconsciously made their minds all the way up.
@@Lovely_1One preach
the first one to speak is the one that initiated the mediation through the show. I'm this particular case, is also the most stable/rational/open for resolution from the group
Happens that way in court too. The first to file tends to win.
I'm pretty sure they're told when to clap and how to react
It’s the gaslighting for me. Poor Valina. 😢
maybe the mum cant admit it in front of a stage full of people, if someone hits you with an extension cord its not something you forget easily
it’s def not something you forget at all. I am 25 years old and I still to this day remember , my 5 siblings and I getting “whoopings” w/ extension cords when we were kids. you don’t just forget something like that
You mean ever‼️
Exactly the mom did beat them with the cord. I believe the younger one blocked it out. No child should ever be beaten, both daughters are broken
Yep mine use to beat the skin off of us with them. We wore out winter clothes to school during the hot months to keep our wounds from being seen.
@@StacieTheSweetheart Sorry for that experience. May brighter days always follow you.
I believe the sister. The wife literally disrespected her and she said nothing but at every corner defending her wife. Yeah the sister is broken for real. It’s a show for the other one. Smh
Her wife very well maybe controlling but she also gives off protective vibes like she’s protecting her from her family 💯
Uhh the older sister is the one who needs to be protected from this family imo…She’s the one who seems like the outcast
I felt like that too and like she wants better for her wife
Yeah no, just controlling. There is no protective controller.
If not wanting her to be sad and abused by her family emotionally and using pills which is a quick death and slow depending on your use. Than let it be that.
If They’re Really Married Legally She Suppose To Be Protective Of Her WIFE‼️❤️
This was strange. There was a lot left unsaid.
The fact they didn’t talk to the wife about calling velena unattractive and all that..
I fully agree!! this one has me genuinely baffled. Could the pills and drinking messed up their memory to that extent? There is definitely unspoken historical abuse of a few forms that the mum and younger sister have worked hard to suppress. The poor older sister.... A very sad strange scenario.
@@andreal3239 Yes girl that wife is questionable to me
Valena needs to stay away from her “mother and sister” the mother is full of it and seems happy with this dynamic between her daughters and the little sister is forever the victim.
Totally agree. This was hard to watch
The sister wife keeps taking low blows at the eldest sister that's wrong.
Exactly
Seems like she upset the that the older one didn’t succumb to her advances and just like a scorned man is calling the sister names and disrespecting her because of that when the wife isn’t a cup of tea neither
@@donitamoore8170 Exactly because peep she never actually denied what happened...she just made it seem like it was "taken the wrong way"
Valina gives addict vibes. When she spoke I couldn’t take my 👀 off her mouth and body language. Mom has certainly played a major role in her daughter’s dysfunction. This family needs prayer and professional therapy.
That’s cause the mom and her have dentures probably because of the drug use 😂🤦🏽♀️
She definitely had the Bobby Brown coke jaw… I hope these ladies found healing and therapy to help them along this journey
Yes I’m staring at her twisted mouth as well wow
She already admitted to doing pills like let it go
@@NikkiPassionn 👀 perhaps we should let you go.
This family is strange especially the mom & sister
mad strangeee
There was definitely a lot left unsaid, the oldest daughter still hasn't gotten her proper apologies. The younger daughter was saying how she hates how it's all good and the pretending that nothing happened but she is the reason for that, the older sister even said "why don't you talk to me" and I think that's from the younger sister wanting people to come to her when there's something wrong with her instead of being the one to reach out. And I also feel there was a lot of the younger sister invalidating the older sister's feelings and I feel like that should've been talking about, let me know what yall think
I think the younger sister was invalidating the older sister on purpose. She was constantly getting defensive and acting like her sister was her enemy. I think she has been gaslighting her sister for a long time and she was playing victim. I feel bad for the older sister because she was never validated . They were very dismissive of her and you can tell that’s been the dynamic since childhood. And why did they go to foster care? The younger sister acting like it was for no reason.
It's obv that there are favorites. There was a lot of gaslighting towards the oldest. No one was able to acknowledge the oldest truth whether or not it happened, but they were so quick to recognize the youngest. This is too common in families with siblings, especially in black homes.
The smirk on the sister’s wife face says “see I told you, your sister won’t believe you “
It’s the pills or something because They all give delusional vibes lol
Exactly
honestly
No fa real !!!
seriously tho!
Frfr
Barbara was clearly the golden child and they all did gang up on sis in my option but things can be fixed i don’t see it happening honestly
We Black women are so violent towards each other.Yet we baby and pamper the men in our community. We have to do better.
Yess!
No we're not and stop lumping all in one group.
I never experienced this mess and I'm blk
@@shanellpride2377 lucky you. just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t make it any less true.
@@shanellpride2377 if it doesn’t apply let it fly. Black woman do treat each other like shit but treat the men like kings when these men be disrespecting us. We do need to do better wether you agree or not.
What a terrible mom and sister they literally gaslighting the older she said it happened why would she lie about it and the younger one clearly doesn’t remember
Cold blooded to the oldest sister.
I don’t think they can fix it alone.. therapy and counseling is mandatory in my opinion
Unfortunately, Valena don’t feel heard IMO. I’ve said this before, but idk why there’s such a disconnect between mother/ oldest daughter in cultures, it’s sad AF. Barbara hasn’t experienced Valenas trauma to say it was untrue and make judgement. What You may not went through doesn’t mean Your sibling no matter how close y’all are or close in age, didn’t. My sister and Me are a year apart and My mother always seemed to love her more, compliment her, praise her etc., I feel her behavior is disgusting but I now just keep my distance, I don’t need anyone who’s not for me or who
isn’t genuine and kind, around!
So glad all 3 of my daughters are my best friends. And my oldest daughter is my dawg
The words, the moment before the embrace and of course the embrace was so lovely, a real tearjerker. Mom finally releasing suppressed tears and saying it hurt to be called toxic, daughter intently looking into her eyes and apologizing and mom saying shes always missed her. Soooo beautiful.
Thank you
The fact that YOU did not see it doesnt mean it didnt happen .
In highschool i studied so muxh i became extremely depressed and physically sick
And my mother would always tell me no u do not study at all since i never see u study .
It drove me crazy literally . And at some point i genuinely started to lose my mind because of how much she was gaslighting me
the first one to be toxic was the wife. I can see why Valina aint wanna be part of that. So hard to watch all these people gaslighting Valina. Good on her that she trusts herself.
Praying for this family they need it.
I loved the hug at the end, she picked her up off the ground. Wholesome and genuine😊
They gotta get off those drugs that’s the problem
This family has a lot to work through. Resolutions are not going to be resolved overnight, it takes time.
I’ve been gaslight too that I wasn’t neglected in my childhood today and abused and ppl say “ I’ve always taken good care of you “ I really do wish the mom just apologized to Velena for what she put her through , and I get that kids need to be disciplined but the method needs to be well thought out .
Oh no. I wish I hadn’t seen this story before, guys, the wife is treating her badly, it’s reopening unhealed childhood wounds and she doesn’t feel like she can direct that to her wife so she’s taking it out in the family because they’re the cause of the original wound, even if they would help her now she can’t stand up for herself now in her relationship because of the past abuse so the additional pain is attributed to the family, velena was gaslit at the end and shouldn’t have apologized to the wife who insulted her, if she has a grievance with her wife insulting her calling her unattractive and being rude she has a right to that it’s not ok to act like she’s wrong for being upset, she apologized to the wife but she shouldn’t have (even though it was well intentioned) and the wife responded with “I apologize for whatever” because it could get her good credit in public so that barbara will feel guilty when she’s rude at home later, yes the family itself has issues, but the main reason it’s escalated the way it has is the wife, her silence is convenient, Barbara saying her wife “isn’t for the weak” isn’t a coincidence, I used to say my ex was “trying to fix it” to people who were worried about me, it’s so clear to me how the wife is causing issues in that family it is SO convenient how she’s sitting in the audience quiet, the issues in the family are real but the wife twists the knife behind the scenes and that’s why Barbara has a lot of difficulty dealing with the family now, the wife is making it worse
Wow if this isn’t the most interesting synopsis. Well done and well said 🙏🏿
@@DBrown-vg1fi the discernment and gems u find on the comments sometimes makes me proud 😊
@@stoplayin21 I appreciate you! Salute🙏🏿 Ms Jones. Hope your day is filled with love today
It's the mouth twitching and slurred speech for me smh
Drugs
Nothing like knowing you were abused and no one believe you. It is possible for all the children to have a different experience with the same mother
Karamo, this episode was all over the place!! I didn't understand it at all.
Me too
They always are
Me neither omg
Same here,so messy
Same here,so messy
Something is off here..something is just not right
Alot of times we go through trauma & we block it out mentally. Especially childhood trauma, parts of your childhood you might not remember at all because of how crazy things were. This situation hits close to home, unfortunately alot of these toxic family dynamics are within alot of our families.
Spouses come between Family
Too, and will use the line “they’re protecting their wife/Partner etc.,” but in reality , they’re instigating, manipulating, verbally abusive and physically abusive. The wife is no saint at all. She’s sneaky disrespectful and have a hidden agenda. For Barbara to say she’s controlling and not for the weak VS she’s supportive and there for Me and the only person in My corner while dealing with Family issues, says a Bunch. Barbara feel stuck because she’s having issues with Family and Parter. That never end well. Get back close to Your Family but set boundaries, seek therapy and heal so You won’t rely on a partner who’s using Your family woes to protect You because of they’re hidden jealousy, insecurities and issues.
I dont doubt that her wife is controlling she definitely gives that vibe. But this family needs therapy smh the mom is the main issue here
I wish that my folks would do this because there's so much trauma. No one except for me seems to actually want to heal the family trauma and it hurts so much because I just want to have a happy family. Nothing's perfect, but at least we talk through some stuff, so I can be myself in front of them again. I feel like there's a huge part of myself that won't heal because of this and i guess I'll just accept it and create a family of my own to break the family curses and cycles.
Her sister Valina seems to be geekin a little. She’s grinding the hell out of her teeth.🥴
The mama too!
I just thought they had dental issues. The daughter said they both had surgery. What do I know??? I don’t know anyone on drugs (that I know of).
@@se_me1756 Yeah probably for the mother but that sister is over the top. She can’t even sit still. Lol
absolutely she is and the mom!!
This was a cute segment. There are soooo many variables affecting communication, repair, and togetherness in this family. In the end, they showed up for one another and each to the first steps. Proud of them. 💕
There is heavy addiction and pain going on here . They are all over the place
She turned on her sister quick as hell after her sister tried to tell her about her girl just because your girl think you're the most beautiful girl in the world to her is not mean she wouldn't step out on you the only way she won't step out on you is if she loved you more than she loves any other female in the world
It is true the oldest daughter usually gets the wrath, the baby sis might never have experienced the abuse like big sis. I hope they can heal.
Why is Valina apologizing like her truth or feelings are invalid. No one has yet to acknowledge her
"Pull up" CPS records??? This is sad. I hope Valina finds the Peace & healing that she deserves FAR AWAY FROM THESE TOXIC FEMALES!
CAN WE JUST SAY HOW FINE THAT CHIX IS WITH THE RED NATURAL IN THE AUDIENCE THEY KEEP PANNING TO JUST ALL KINDS OF ❤️❤️❤️GORGEOUS
This saddens me ,,,, I have one sister and we have NEVER had a physical altercation and the last time we argued we were 12 and 7 years old,,,, my sister’s husband is my brother, as mine is hers,my mother loves and respects us as adult woman….so all of this is very foreign to me and I pray that this family can find some healing and peace in their lives,,,,we all we got❤️
The older sister I believe is being honest my mom did this to me and my brother for years he said he was badly abused by one of her boyfriends I didn’t believe him partly because I was too young and my mom had made him seem like a problem child my whole life meanwhile as I got older I realized he was telling the truth all along
I'm dealing with that right now. My sisters won't acknowledge the abuse we've endured so I feel alone
This sound like my sister and I. I’m the youngest and I had to realize although it’s painful with someone speaking their truth about someone you love it’s their truth. You have to be open minded and understanding when it comes to things like this. It’s a very touchy situation I pray they get it together and just love one another
Great that you was able to see that you had to listen to your sister’s perspective as well
I couldve seen the guilt on the lesbian girls face when the sister said she touched her and it felt strange and her sister is so delusional...those types of people kill themselves when their relationship fails. How the hell she saying that shes the most beautiful thing to her wife, she would like to believe that but shes not in her heart or mind
Burying her head in the sand since she scared of the wife anyway...what does being the most beautiful thing have to do with if she lasting, cheating etc!! 🙄
These are good people ! They just need the tools to heal !
So much admiration and respect for this whole family for making an appearance on this show and taking a step toward improving their relationships. Wish my family could do the same.
Valina needs her own episode, because I feel like they gaslighted her the whole time. Karamo included. It triggered me 😂
SN: Why tf does the wife stare like that?! It’s eerie
They were all mis communicating but you can feel the love they have for one another. I know he can help them understand what the other is actually saying
As a woman and mommy...No matter what be the best mother you can be. Take care of your children and parents. Everything else good in your life is a bonus blessing. ❤🎉
The sister needs a apology cause they were treating her so bad, not even trying to acknowledge there could be any truth to her words and I think the only reason she apologized was so she could get out of there😢
They Cray Cray ! Especially The One In The Green! Your Queenz!😬😬
Yeah if I was the sister I would be done with this family
Same
Karamo your leaving these to unanswered for me. Fist the wife comes in a completely disrespects the older sister when it’s not about her, then the older sister is gaslit and being talked over, and at the end it’s her apologizing instead of yall digging deep into what she was saying. She was gaslighted until the end, I hope she’s doing great. She deserves better.
Fist the wife is crazy....
Her sister just uuhhhh😩😩😩 Valina is literally being ignored here for what reason😡
I didn’t respect this one , and I say that because the oldest sister was TOTALLY invalidated by everyone. She didn’t get to be heard. Where as the youngest was able to voice how she felt. People consistently talked over her , and because her truth wasn’t their truth her truth didn’t matter. I’m actually quite disappointed in this. Youngest got the softer kinder side to mama ; where as everyone looked at big sister as if she was a liar, and I firmly believe she was honest about her experience. I hate that there is always that one black sheep in almost every black family , and that’s what this gave.
He needs a real professional to help on the show...How did they just skip over the fact that they were in foster care and the younger sister says she doesn't know why? Maybe the younger sister has suppressed memories.
Wait so she apologized to the younger daughter bt not the older one. Smh.Just bc the youngest doesn't remember doesn't mean it didn't happen. I'm the youngest of 7. When the older ones talk about stuff I'm like wat?? Lol. Guess I was to young when it happened
“When somebody tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to say that you didn’t.”
That poor older sister 💔 it’s definitely giving gaslighting
From what I’m seeing is the younger sister is narcissistic and the mom is feeding into that … valina knew they were going to keep denying the truth so she choose too be the bigger person and apologize
The wife can keep that apology it wasn’t sincere and honest
Alcohol makes you forget things… when people “change” they try their absolute hardest to not let their past touch them😩
I'm so glad they worked everything out because family is very important if you don't have it what do you really have in this world⁉️🙏🏽
They haven’t worked anything out. Without the proper intervention (therapy) they will be back at odds once they leave this show. They need to do a deep inner work, each one of them.
@@se_me1756 Let me better explain the younger sister stated that they haven't talked in 5 years so this is definitely a start in the right direction Karomo and this Show got them to a point where there at least talking it might take another 5 years for them to fully recover but at least they have made this tremendous effort my prayers are truly with this family!🙏🏽
I hope they continue to heal and get some family therapy to help with learning to communicate openly with one another
How did she stop the emotion like that 😮
3:08 she stop crying extremely fast
I know right that cry was so fake to me 😂
It Was look 3:14 like What 😂😂😂
Lmao you're right 🤣 it was almost instant
10:57
Editing
The sister mouth like that due to the pills. But, I believe her when she said that her sister’s wife made her feel uncomfortable. And, I believe the sister is telling the truth about them being abused. The woman was so young she blocked it out.
Why is Valina apologizing for anything?? I believe her. I just hope she separates herself and heals.
The mama messed up when she said that she never hit them with anything lie number 2
The younger sister is very aggressive.
I can't speak for these ladies childhood, but we got whoopns and had to get our own switch when WE ACTED OUT and this is how we grew up in the south. With that being said it was about being respectful and staying in a childs place. i don't think she is lying about that at all but they do need to sit down and talk it out
I think the other daughter and mom agreed to keep the abuse quiet to not embarrass the mum
I’m crying because whyyyy do we have to go thru this I’m praying for all daughters who feel like you wasn’t worthy of your moms love I’m so sorry 💔 I know how you feel & it hurts so bad I’m 29 & just last week my mom fought me & I had to sit there & take it if not my sister said they’d jump in if I swung back I tried to protect myself tho but my kids was there so I just caved in & it hurts so much more knowing my sisters are brainwashed to believe I’m a bad person when I’m the one everyone calls on when they need stuff but when they no longer need me I’m the target if you feel like I do I’m sorry & I pray one day we all get our closure. Also the day my mom fought me in front of my kids she then called the police because my boyfriend came to my defense when the police came they saw my face & locked my mom up I felt free I felt good I felt worthy I just kept thanking the officers for seeing it wasn’t me but it was her I was so scared I was going to jail because my mom got different personalities she’ll treat me so bad but turn around & act like Michele Obama to others even when she tried to lie to the police they knew she was lying I just felt protected my inner child was overjoyed that finally somebody stood up for me & wasn’t scared to do so !
The older sister is not lying. Her family gaslights her and tries to make her sound crazy. Her younger sister and mother are very much in cahoots to make the older sister go crazy from their emotional, verbal abuse.
This is literally how my sister is to me she told me she wanted me dead by 18 I’m about to be 16 in July she’s always tryna fight me and she be fighting my mom. I feel so bad for her there’s definitely a lot left that’s unsaid fr fr
❤
BS She's not married to her.... you can't demand that your sister be respectful to your wife if she doesn't like her, you should respect the boundaries that your sisters set.
I lived through this she is the black sheep of the family and the mom facilitated it. Everybody protects mom and attacks the whipping post. The sister could at least acknowledge that the spouse made the sister uncomfortable.
The older sister deserves better
This family needs God's intervention.
Psalm 34:18: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit"
They all need a lie detector test. That would allow the truth to come out once and for all
Why is this even a discussion just leave the family behind both sisters need to just go live their lives separately. Mom is an instigator.