He Gambled Away a $100,000 HELOC!
Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 сер 2024
- 💵 Start eliminating debt for free with EveryDollar - ter.li/vbjdm5
📱Download your free Ramsey Network app today! ter.li/4ccdfr
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or send us a message - www.ramseysolu...
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/rqwdws
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/tmj3vq
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/s5yazz
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/dc2gee
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/a6emrr
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/v8n4u8
📈EntrLeadership ⮕ ter.li/g7s9g0
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
I love how Dave has no facial reaction to gambling away $100,000, he’s heard it all
This is why Dave cannot retire. Raw, unfiltered straight to the point advice.
Free ksoo
He didn't lose the loan, just the money!!!
This is hilarious 😂
Wow good comment lol
He needs to double down
True. HELOC is a line of credit. You can use it repeatedly...as long as you repay it 😂. Might take this guy a minute.
Them people still want they money
I was having a shitty day, after listening to this episode it turns out my day ain't that bad at all, not too bad 😂
Divorce him and move on. He won’t change. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with him.
She isn't blameless. She was all in on this bad idea too. And no job.
Why is divorce the best solution? Why not help your partner overcome their vices and struggles to succeed together? Marriage vows mean nothing these days
@@LiquiProductions If she is being truthful, it doesn’t appear that the spouse is willing to take the necessary steps to deal with his issues. She suggested he seek treatment for his gambling addiction. He refused. He thinks he can just stop-which is rarely the case with addicts. He doesn’t seem to be all that remorseful about what he did-if you believe her version of what’s going on. He’s sinking in quicksand and he’s going to drag her down with him if she doesn’t take action to protect herself and her child(ren). Perhaps if she files, it will give him the impetus to face his addiction and get help.
Easier said than done… divorce takes money in the form of lawyers fees. After divorce what then? A single mom with no job and a 3 yo child? If you couldn’t trust the hubby while married how could you trust him to pay any alimony or child support after the divorce… she’ll have to get a job to pay for daycare and pay for another home/apartment on top of paying back that HELOC and CC debt… divorce will just make things worse than they already are in her situation.
she has no income.....
The first time I went to a casino and lost like $100, was enough to make me never wanna gamble again😂
Gambling has never been a problem for me, but my wife loves slot machines. We set a limit of 20 bucks, which she burns on penny slots, once in a while. Cheap entertainment, I guess, and she hasn't become an addict.
@@Lugnut64052 That was my wife and I's limit too, just $20, 3 times in the last 5 years, cheap slots to smile at, we would be high on weed and drinking a little bit, the $20 was just for entertainment, although if we went up to $100, we would have stopped and used the cash on a great meal. People watching in a casino while on edibles is far more entertaining than gambling yourself
@@Lugnut64052 What kind of entertainment is that? That's wild. Most people do something that's actually fun. Slot players sit in front of a machine putting coins in waiting for the machine to give them back a little dopamine hit to make them think they're having fun.
I have never understood why so many feel it is fun to lose money.
I like the table games, and yes, it's 100% stupid. I set a limit and move on. But I definitely would not recommend it to anyone who has addictive personalities. Like my dad always said, an addict doesn't care about winning small. They care about losing big.
We owned a construction company..One day my husband told me we're BANKRUPT!! He stole all our money. He left me and the 2 kids and left the country for 1.5 years. He hid our money from me.
I divorced him 2004 and never regretted it. I'm doing fine now.
Why would you regret divorce a man who left you high and dry? Seems like the obvious thing that most people would do.
@@angryox3102 ? She said she never regretted it.
Am happy for you 😊
@@angryox3102 she said she never regretted it. What are you talking about?
I hope you fought that. See this is why I'll never go into business with a man. I would also never put my financial freedom in no man's hands. Wife's stay getting screwed because they don't want to ask about the books or think they should just let the man lead because he has a penis
What was the necessity for the whole risk of 100k on a slot machine another what’s the whole heloc thing about I’m curious
A home equity line of credit (HELOC) is a loan that allows you to borrow, spend, and repay as you go, using your home as collateral.
And it works perfectly because I'm still in shock how I was able to raise so much money from my house and still owned my house I guess many are yet to discover this I think Ramsey should make a current video about this kind of updates that's my little opinion actually.
How's that even possible lol l'm confused right now because you already said much money from your house and still owned the house didn't you sell it for the money?
@@HailiangGow exactly my thoughts lol isn't that some kind of magic lol
Yes it's 100% possible and currently working for the US citizens I'm from California and I tell you it's actively working you just have to know the right ways to go about it. Information is power my dear.
You can’t help an addict that refuses to admit he/she is an addict. It is not your fault, it is theirs. An addict will drain you of every penny and leave you feeling that it as your fault. You know in your heart if it’s time to move on. My ex is laying in the ICU dying of liver disease. It’s been three decades since our divorce. I cried for the life he threw away and that it’s just too late in this lifetime.
I'm so sorry. 😞
But she knew he was addicted to drugs & gambling.. and gave him full access to 100,000. - of course he blew it. How is this not HER fault for allowing someone to abuse her own child ( ie put them into debt and likely poverty). 100% her fault for along this man to do this
He didn’t lose it. He threw it away. She needs a divorce asap!
Did you lose or throw away the money you put into crypto?
No
Irresponsible
@@siva47931 I hope you're not comparing crypto to gambling. The house also wins. I've never invested in crypto, but I can see the difference between those things.
🙄.
Sober person here talking. Been sober going on 15 years. People often transfer their addictions. You may stop drinking and pick up something else which sounds like happened here. My heart goes out to this woman.
Congratulations. That's incredible. I am only on day 34 of sobriety lol. However I do appreciate it very much 🙌🙏
@@MountainsArePretty1234 that’s great! The journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. It was hard for the first year and definitely. I had some false starts, but now I don’t even think about it.❤
@@firegirljen Thats awesome. Congrats.
@@firegirljen I once did over 2 years of sobriety. Then idk what the crap happened but it got ruined 😥
@@MountainsArePretty1234 same, same. It’s ok tho!
I miss the days when people would call radio shows on a clear landline instead of a crappy cellphone.
25 years ago?
I know she sounds terrible and not clear.
Actually we have no way of knowing whether or not she is taking on a cellphone and the truth is that cell phone call quality these days is pretty much identical to landline calls 99% of the time. It's not like the old days in the late 90’s and early 2000's when dropped calls or bad call quality was just an accepted fact of life when using a cell phone. Furthermore, pretty much all “landlines” these days go through the internet so if you are having trouble with your internet connection it can also cause you to drop the call or have bad call quality. And another downside to this set up is that if the electricity goes out your “landline” phone also goes out. In the old days with conventional landlines your phone still worked when the power went out but not today. And lastly, let's not forget that pretty much every person with a landline still uses a cordless phone to access that landline and the wireless signal from the handset to the base unit can also cause problems sometimes. The point is, there are a whole lot of things that could have led to the poor call quality of that call.
@@SLOBeachboybro….. she didn’t even come and read this you played yourself man, so smart you ended up dumb🫤
The landline phone don’t have high traffic. Cellphone towers get jammed that’s why they drop calls even this days.
The landline phone in your house with wireless handset can’t drop calls because it’s not sharing signal with anyone.
You didn't HAVE to tolerate it. You just DID.
yeah, women need not to be so desperate to not be single...
@@ewidontlikeyouthey choose poorly
$1000.00 mortgage payment to $3200.00 😡
People are always looking to make the most amount of money they can :/ even at the expense of someone else just being able to afford a place to live.
People like her wanting to rent her $1000 a month house for more than double that is greed and fueling the housing inflation problem.
New motto: The house always wins while you lose your house.
Addicts will trade one addiction for another. This dude needs professional help.
He needs Jesus Christ!
@@ToOpen6sevenNot the case for a large percentage of addict's.
Exactly. He has to resolve the underline issue to get past it
Anyone who says "I am going to keep it short" means it will be a long call.
It’s a trick to get engagement
Trick to get attention.
Lol 😂
I’ve noticed that as well. Without fail they ramble on and on
Long story long.
As someone who has been sober as a judge and in recovery for almost 12 years, I agree totally with Dave.
I'm drunk and I still agree with him.
12 years, that's an achievement. More power to you.
I've been sober for over 35 years. The only time I (we- my wife and I ) go to a casino is to see a show. When we do that we will bring a couple hundred dollars to blow at the slots or blackjack. Usually lose it , but we only bring what we are comfortable losing and do not bring debit or credit cards with us. And I also agree with Dave
What makes you think judges are sober?
David calm and understanding. Wise.
You'd be calm and understanding too if you were worth $200 million.
Addiction is a terrible thing. I hope this is her husbands rock bottom and he begins to heal. He already devastated his family’s finances, and he is about to lose that too. Sad situation.
He said he doesn't have a problem. Based on that denial, he hasn't hit rock bottom yet.
He's a loser...move on!
Dave is completely right about this. I've been in this woman's position. Her husband MUST get into a step program and whatever other therapy is out there, and he must accept that working on addiction is a lifelong, every day project. He's in denial. Putting the burden of being his keeper on her is completely unfair. She'll be walking on eggshells and living in fear for the rest of her life if she stays with him, while he doesn't have to face what he's done and how he's hurt her and their child. The only lesson he's learning is to be sneakier about hiding his addictions and that if that doesn't work he knows she'll bail him out and fix his messes for him.
Omg. She needs to divorce that guy. I feel so bad for her.
I just cringed when he said “how much does he make?” Answer: 80 grand “how much do you make?” Answer: pause. Pause, pause…. Well I’m a stay at home mom (no idea of finances, husbands stolen a 100k, husband lies, takes out multiple credit cards, mortgage from $1000/month to $3200/month because her husband doesn’t give a s$%t about her or their child) And she’s phoning a talk shoe for advice on what she should do and how she can “save her marriage.” Get the f-- out. Save yourself. Sadly she has no job, will have no house etc. number one reason why so many women stay in terrible situations. Hopefully she has a strong family.
@@carpediem6431 Well, considering he made all the money, was it really stealing?
@mplslawnguy3389 yeah, no one wants to work,
@@carpediem6431yup… she’s screwed either way… if she stays she can try to make him change his ways but only realistically has a 10% chance of success, and if he doesn’t change he will lose everything.
If she divorces, she becomes a single mom with no job and likely a deadbeat ex who’s not going to pay any alimony or child support since he likely gambles it all away, plus she’ll have to pay for housing, daycare and pay back that HELOC and CC debt if any of it has her name on it!
Terrible situation!
Only thing I’ve heard wrong out of Dave’s mouth is “not be an addict anymore” no matter how long you’ve been recovering you are always an addict and it’s not something that is permanently healed without continued work. This guy needs a fellowship and God. Sober 3.5 years personally and the way he implied there is a permanent fix to addiction bugged me a bit. I love Dave and follow his plan, he has helped me rebuild my life but this one touched home.
I didn't realize a 3 year old took up that much space. If you want a bigger house that's fine but don't use one child as an excuse
A 3 year does need their own room if they are sharing with the parents. Or if the next older sibling is opposite gender
That’s not an excuse? Kids take up a lot of space
Reasons I don't have them, I'm rich!!! Lol
Kids grow up lol
@@llcross04 she only has one child. And they already live in a house which I'm sure already have more than one bedroom.
I feel investors should be focusing on under-the-radar stocks, and considering the current rollercoaster nature of the stock market, Because 35% of my $270k portfolio comprises of plummeting stocks which were once revered and i don't know where to go here out of devastation.
..
Safest approach i feel to tackle it is to diversify investments. By spreading investments across different asset classes, like bonds, real estate, and international stocks, they can reduce the impact of a market meltdown. its important to seek the guidance of an expert.
Agreed! this is why I work with one. My $520k portfolio is well-matched for every market season yielding 85% rise from early last year to date. I and my advsor are working on more figures for this year. IMO, financial advisors are the most sought-after professionals after doctors.
Mind if I ask you to recommend this particular coach you using their service? Seems you've figured it all out.
Angela Lynn Shilling is the licensed advisor I use. Just research the name. You’d find necessary details to work with a correspondence to set up an appointment..
I appreciate it. After searching her name online and reviewing her credentials, I'm quite impressed. I've contacted her as I could use all the help I can get. A call has been scheduled.
gambling is a cancer
No gambling is an addiction that weak people succumb to.
Tell that to a cancer patient.
The longer you gamble, the more you lose. A very simple message to teach your kids.
Exactly unless you're a professional poker player or something, it really isn't a gamble because the odds are in the houses favor and you will lose majority of the time!
Slow down girl, you're not getting a new house. There are bigger issues here that need to be addressed.
yeah like getting a job
She said that was the plan before all this came out. Try to keep up ok.
I feel so bad for this woman and will be praying for her. People don't deserve this.
Why pray for her ? God doesn’t fix gambling debts
People deserve the results of their choices. Both the husband made his choices and she made hers.
she doesn't work, she wants free money. you feel sorry, wtf.
you are trash
Prayer is proven to work at that exact same percentage as chance, meaning it has no effect at all.
Divorce him today!
I thought it couldn’t get any worse, then we hear he already went to rehab in 2018, and they’ve got a 3 year old together…couldn’t get any more bleak
“He does slot machines”. LMAO
I just smh 🤦🏻♂️
Habitual gamblers are all losers. A poker player or someone who bets on sports isn’t any better than someone who plays slots.
@@Josh-lp2ngyeah slot players are idiots. The others are stupid lol
Couldn't be a more sucker, old lady way to lose your money lol.
Endorphin junkie getting high over the exciting sounds and lights of a machine. This is so awful.
Norman Vitalii turned my small investments into a solid financial base. I’ve expanded my gym and added new classes. Fun fact: I’m now training for a triathlon!
Seems like that Vitali scammer paid for bots to give him false publicity
@@nrqedright! These comments are soo annoying. Just report them all as spam.
"pulled out money". Ma'am, you took a loan against your house. Use the correct terminology.
@@curiouscat3384she would have had to sign for the Heloc also, jf she is on the title. So she did this too.
The moment he said u can’t know about the finances is when u should’ve divorced him
They got bigger issues now. They can’t afford that 3k mortgage on just his 90k income
Indeed. Being a stay at home parent is a luxury and they can't afford luxuries any more. She's going to have to get a job whether she stays with him or not.
Divorce, bankruptcy and start over.
@@gregorypeterson9 I don't know if bankruptcy is appropriate here.
HELOC, afaik, are only given when you have net equity such that HELOC plus mortgage is less than value of the house, thus meaning there still should be net equity. Those are secured loans against the house. This means for ch7 the home and the loans are a package deal, you either keep both(the house and the loan) or lose both. Now, a ch 13 would restructure debt and potentially reduce monthly payment, but that tend to be marginal when it comes to secured loans like this and carry its own risk--you must make the payment plan promised, or it fails and can proceed with repo(for secured loans). And.... well.. I don't trust the husband not causing a missed payment somehow down the line.
So it would depend on whether they have any other significant debt. They did mention a 7k credit card, but if that's all there is to it, it's not worth going through bankruptcy. They might be better off voluntarily liquidating the house and rent instead.
@@gregorypeterson9she may not be bankrupt, there may be enough equity in the house to pay their debts and move on with her life. In any case, she’s going back to work and things aren’t going to be the way they were.
She doesn't realize her marriage is over. He refuses to get help and clearly can't handle addiction on his own and is eventually going to make them lose everything including their home. She doesn't work and there's a kid. It's over. It can be over now or it can be over after he's lost them everything, might as well walk now
@0.23 "...kept me in the dark about finances, won't allow access to any of the accounts..." 😮 Big red flag. Especially hearing later in the call that he has a long history of addiction.
Yeah, the biggest losers are spouses who tolerate letting this happen.
She needs to get a job and leave this man. This is y his first addiction that has affected his family.
She's probably addicted to sitting on the couch at home. This didn't happen over night.
Her husband kept her from finances to hide his addiction. And now because they are so broke and in debt; he is trying to dump all the finances on her now.
Norman Vitalii’s guidance has been invaluable in managing my startup’s finances. I never thought I’d be able to double my investments in just a year!
Balancing work and kids is tough, but Norman Vitalii made investing simple and effective for me. My daughter and I are planning a trip to Disney World next year!
CD's are now paying 5%; that's a no brainer.
Slots are the worst kind of gambling No way you are gonna win.
If you're going to gamble it's best to just go to the roulette table and put all your money on red. If you lose walk away, if you win cash out and walk away.
One armed bandits
@@Lonovavir"Ten thousand dollars! 31... black..."
In Chinese slot machines are called tiger machines, because they eat all your money
They're better than tables especially roulette. But only higher denom slots.
Great, I lost over $48k when everything started to tank. Not because I was in an exchange that went belly up. I was just stupid to hold and because that's what everyone said. I'm still responsible. It just taught me to be a better investor now that I understand more of what could go wrong. It took me over two years of being in the market, I'm really grateful I found one source to recover my money, at least $90k profits weekly.Thanks so much *Norman Vitalii*
This is so sad. We all know how this ends
Marriage sounds amazing.
LOLOL
Remember, Dave always says being a landlord is a rich man’s game. You could not afford to play that game.
It’s not a rich man’s game! Just gotta be smart with it
Is that the main point you took away from this call.? Your comment was the most pointless thing I've read in a long time.
That was the first mistake😂
Taking out a heloc, to a 3k a month mortgage, to buy a new house with a mortgage, to rent the house for 2300. Expenses to fix on two houses…. Math makes no sense. He just wanted the money to gamble. He never intended to buy a new house and be a landlord
Even as someone in the finance sector, I was blown away by the insights from Norman Vitalii,, I recently adopted a puppy with my extra earnings!
Shut up bot
That poor woman, my heart goes out to her. Nothing will improve until he acknowledges he has a problem, and he does not think he has. And she is calling from Vegas, with a gambling addict husband - that is like putting a drunk in charge of a brewery! She needs to get out now, before he ruins her even more.
Gambled away $100,000 but "doesn't have a problem". Sounds like someone who definitely is in denial.
He’s due, he’s bound to hit soon though I would keep gambling
“I don’t have a gambling problem, I have a money problem.”
Just like people who drink a bottle of whisky and day and say they don’t have a drinking problem.
@@corey407woc The logic of a failed human being.
@@amireallythatgrumpy6508 you sound like you never hit it big
I guess there has to be people in this world that make the rest of us look better.
Dave is absolutely right. Every addict that I saw at the hospital was 💯 what Dave described.
file for divorce and force the sale of the house to get out of the loan. get a full or part time job, get full custody and take care of your child.
That’s not the always the answer.
@@alexiscook607 yes it is the answer I learned from family members it’s not worth staying in a bad marriage and I certainly would not buy another house 🏠 with him.its better to start over
That may be the best option she has, but it isn't going to be easy. Hopefully there is enough equity left in the house to pay off the credit cards as well, but she'll still be starting from absolute zero financially. If he's making $90k, child support will only be about $1k a month. That won't go very far. She'll probably need a full time job if she wants more than a very basic standard of living for her and her child.
@@thomasdalton1508 I agree
Divorce is an answer for addiction because addiction is ultimately a choice. He did not find out that he has a rare blastoma due to genetic bad luck. Addicts have to choose to change, that's the first step. It's a choice. He gets to choose if she's more important or his preferred addiction. He has made the choice
I listened to a podcast recently, the guest brought up something I never thought about. Ever notice there are no balconies on 99% of hotels in Las Vegas? I think there’s like 1/2 hotels left that actually have a balcony, but give it time it’ll be every hotel. Hotels don’t want to bad press of gamblers ending their misery after a bad weekend at the casino. It’s so fricken sad what casinos do to people, the hire the smartest people in the world to engineer their risk in their favor.
When Dave hits you with the how can I help you today" mid conversation you on the clock because he's highly annoyed 😂😂
@@kingmemf4002 It was a fair question. Other than offering sympathy, it wasn't clear what advice they could offer.
Which is rather insensitive, in my opinion, and just adds to her trauma. This - coming from a "Christian"
@@user-lf2lf6wy4z It's an advice show. She wasn't asking for advice and was just sharing her story. At some point, he has to bring it to a conclusion.
@@user-lf2lf6wy4z Again, what advice did she want?
@@AnthonyMcNeil she called a show to tell her if she should divorce her husband or not 🤣 these people dumber than farm animals but it's so entertaining
She can’t divorce him. She doesn’t have any money.
This is America. Any judge will order him to give her money.
@@sblijheid He won't have it to give. Can't get blood from a turnip. She needs to get to work right away and start planning to be on her own.
The judge will order him to pay her attorney fees and give her money.
@@sblijheid Any judge would keep the money. You do realise that the court KEEPS that money.
@@steve.2784 The court keeps the money, Steve.
Husband sounds like he would be a great fit for congress.
That's the cold hard facts of living life with an addict
They have the math skills of a 5 year old. They took out a heloc to rent out their house at $2300 and the heloc brought their monthly payment up to $3200. So their brilliant plan was to lose $900 a month.
Gambling addiction living in Las Vegas…oh the irony
So the plan was to use a HELOC as a down payment on a second home so they could use the first property as a rental which doesn’t cover the first mortgage and HELOC?!?
They weren't accounting for the HELOC expense. They just thought "the mortgage is only $1000 a month!"
Clearly the husband got the HELOC as a piggy bank to gamble and lied to the wife about getting a bigger house.
People with addiction issues usually have more than one addiction. They will steal, lie, cheat, manipulate, and abuse to protect the addiction. My ex blew through $200,000 from the sale of a home in ONE year. His ideal of getting help was to talk to a pastor once. He really didn't want help or even intended to get help. He continues in the same behaviors to this day.
Not always but some
Divorce or not the debt is still in her name as well
she likely has codependency issues. she should seek help for herself.
If the caller had been the man in a couple, Dave would have blamed him for not keeping track of the money and letting his 'poor' spouse handle all the money
Rubbish. His advice to everyone, male or female, when married is shared and fully transparent finances and decisions. Unless, one party has an issue (gambling, spending) and that person gets restricted. That same advice is given regardless of which one is doing it. Stop projecting your own personal biases, makes you look stupid.
if he does not want help, then you need to divorce him and sell the house and move on.
Last time I went to the casino I lost $6 and made $0.52. That was enough for me.
Leave this guy
then she would have to work and get a job
Location: Las Vegas
If you dont understand the odds in the games you play then you will lose 100% of the time. Addicts never think about the math, just the emotions.
99% of gamblers quit right before they hit it big
I feel for her. I was in a 3 year relationship and later found that my bf at the time was an addict and went on an addiction binge. With my money! He took my bank card w/o my permission. I loved him but I knew I couldn't compete with a ghost. So I left. Cried for a time and healed. You will heal too
You're responsible for your actions. You got exactly the man you deserved. You choose him lady.
Did you take him to court and put him in jail? That is the best thing you can do for yourself and him.
100% of addicts DO NOT end up broke, much less dead. There are a lot of things you can be addicted to, some of which are actually quite healthy.
Follow the above instructions if you’re a longtime subscriber!
As a person with an addictive personality, (14 1/2 yrs sober, thank you) I was never drawn to the casino, as the wife is a regular, and limits herself to $40 loss then she’s outie… I was actually… scared? to go due to my addictive past… but went with her one day. Well… I found out VERY QUICKLY… that I absolutely, positively HATE losing my very hard earned money..lol. So I feel safe accompanying the wife now, I just wonder around people watching and drinking their shitty free coffee ☕️.
You can’t even afford a divorce.
He's a Vegas gambling man - that's what attracted Jill to him in the first place. A drinker and gambler is what he is.
Slots and lottery tickets are the worse.
Yup. My father does both and he's always broke.
Yeah, at least play blackjack where you have half a chance!
@@robira1313 Blackjack is getting worse. 6:5 payout is making the game as bad as slots.
I know people who are addicted to lottery tickets and when they get paid they go crazy on the tickets but when bills come due every time without fail they beg me and other people to bail them out of their self created mess. They get very pissy when I give a loan and explain it’s a loan and then look for every way to burn me and not pay me back. They give every excuse in the book to fuel their addictions. They will guilt trip you and abuse you and make it out to others that you are a bad person and they will even threaten you with violence and stuff. It’s just not worth dealing with people with those kinds of addictions.
@@geralddrolet1 reverse it on them. Tell them you have the itch and need help. Hahaha 🤣
$100k in slot machines!?! Dear lord.
I know someone that bought a house maybe 20-25 or so years ago, with a 100k loan,
That loan for the same house is now 500k, earns insane money, gambles it all away, it just makes my blood boil when there are genuine people that could use that money sensibly and live a great life when the ones that earn good money just choose to throw it away and work till death.
People love debt. I'm saving up for my next vehicle as my current one won't last. The girlfriend is saying I should just finance it like everyone else. I currently have zero non mortgage debt and would like to keep it that way. It feels great no owing.
I know something who bought a home in 1970 for $50,000. She still owes over $200,000 because her husband did this. He's dead now
You know something, or you know someone, genius?
I used to be married to a gambling addict. Gambling addiction destroys families and their livelihoods. This is not the “worse” in “better for worse” the marriage vows was referring to.
First step to any addiction, Admit that you have a problem that you cannot solve on your own. He is not there yet.
So much suffering, when the high is over the guilt and degradation the addict faces is crushing . Recovery requires facing that, not everyone is able to face that kind of pain. For the spouse, find an al-anon meeting to help you, addicts often get better when their loved one detach from the chaos.
Don’t EVER let another person have this much control over your family finances! Watch out for controlling or secretive behavior before you tie the knot.
Many years ago I made my first ever trip with a friend to a riverboat casino where we planned to play some slot machines. I had never gambled before, not even on a friendly game of Bingo, and I honestly didn't know whether I had the kind of personality that would immediately become addicted to gambling and I would not be able to stop but would gamble away every bit of money I had. To prevent myself from doing this I took $200.00 cash and left my credit cards, my debit card, and my check book at home. I told my husband that I would permit myself to lose $200 and when that was gone I was through and I didn't think it would be too big a hit if I lost $200 because that would not have been a terribly high amount to pay just for entertainment for four or five hours and it would not have prevented me from being able to pay the bills or put food on the table.
I played the dime slot machine and I would win for a while and then I would lose and then I would win again and then I would lose. I finally concluded that it would make as much sense if I just took my money out into the middle of the casino parking lot and set it on fire so I stopped. I got home with $80 so I had only spent $120 and I didn't think that was an excessive amount to lose and from that day (probably 30 or so years ago) to this, I have NEVER even been tempted to do any more gambling.
My heart goes out to this woman whose husband is so deep into this addiction because you could hear the pain in her voice. I hope he either quit or she walked away from him. If she stays with him and he continues doing this, she will never know peace and she will always be dreading hearing the phone ring because of her fear that it is someone about an overdue debt. That would be a terrible way to live!
Believe me, im not perfect and made my fair share of financial mistakes but this is bizarre - I have no words.
Him gambling is a problem but willful blindness is a problem too.
Sooner or later, about 75% of people who go through a treatment plan wind up going right back to old habits. Divorce is the only answer because you can't trust him anymore. Get a job, get out of this bad marriage, and start a new life.
Yup, totally agree with Dave here. IF he doesn't agree to get into counseling and completely turn control of the money over to her, she should leave him.
I am so thankful that while my wife and I are far from perfect (well, I am anyway ;) neither of us has had troubles with addiction. I've seen what it's done to friends. And yes, the phrases "I can quit anytime I want", "I can beat this on my own", "I don't have a problem" are all common and are all false.
I have a friend who ruined his life due to various bad choices. Embezzling money from his employers on two different occasions to play VLTs was right on top. This was 20+ years ago. Right now, he is living with his mother and her husband at the age of 56.
This is a marriage counseling segment not a financial education case. And I'm 9.9999% sure he didn't gamble $100k with slot machines.
She said it was over the course of six months that he drained the $100k.
3 times a week at $1,300 a pop would do it. And I know there are several slot machines in Vegas that will let you bet that much in one or two spins.
@@SonnyBubbaYep. Normal people have no idea how unfathomably quickly that money disappears. As a former addict, I can see it easily occuring. I once won $6400 on a slot machine, on a Tuesday. My biggest hit ever. That Friday, I was broke and using credit cards to get by. Non addicts jaws hit the floor whenever you tell them something like that. It's hard to comprehend!! However it's so true. It's a brutal, hideous, horrendous, life destroying illness.
Sin is expensive !!!!
Absolutely
Very true.
...not to mention imaginary...
Dave, it's only grounds for divorce, as you say, if you believe he has control and is thus choosing not to address it. By the way, that is correct. Addiction is ultimately a choice, as the first step to solving it is acknowledging it and choosing to change. It's not cancer. It's not a kidney that stops working. You don't rob him of his responsibility on the one hand and then say it's grounds for divorce because he's responsible on the other hand. You have to be consistent Dave
He doesn't have a gambling problem He has a winning problem.
All gamblers are losers. Even if they win, they're still a loser.
Love how she’s calling from Las Vegas
Vegas isn't a good place to live if you're a compulsive gambler. -Captain Obvious
This is too simple. She called just to embarrass her husband. She knows this is grounds for divorce. She is looking for public validation. Smh, this is a private matter and its best to keep within the family and legal circle. Not a podcast show.
My x-wife gamble a lot. I ran like a rabbit . She refused to get help, and she would go to the casino boat and then start stealing from her step Kids. That was it.😮😡😤 We marry 5 years before I file for bankruptcy and divorce. Now I remarry and we own two houses .
There's no such thing as "not being an addict anymore". Once you become an addict, you're an addict for the rest of your life. The choice an addict must make is whether or not they're going to live as a recovering addict or not. Recovery is a lifelong process, you're never a recovered addict. One must put in the work, day in and day out.