My Toddler Won’t Feed Himself | How to Encourage Independent Eating (Now!)
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- Опубліковано 25 бер 2023
- Do you still spoon feed your toddler? Does your toddler avoid touching food? Or using a utensil?
And when your toddler won’t feed himself, you’re more likely to jump to their aid and assist them.
But self-feeding, or eating independently, is an important developmental milestone of infancy and toddlerhood. When we take over, it may disrupt the toddlers ability to gain confidence in his abilities with eating.
In this video, I’m going to teach you how to encourage your child to eat on his own, with some tips and suggestions for facilitating self-feeding.
Because when your toddler won’t feed himself it can lead to problems with eating down the road, and contribute to picky eating.
I’ll also talk about some of the expectations around eating for young children, such as when they should start eating on their own, and 5 tips that will help you encourage your toddler to feed himself.
For more information about helping toddlers eat well, check out my website, The Nourished Child!
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// What to Watch Next:
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Tell me, is your toddler feeding himself or not?
My toddler is 2 years old and he is not yet able to self-eating
Mine too she’s 2yrs 5 months and doesn’t evn want to eat anythx except baby scereals and we hv to feed her I need help m dieying
My daughter is able to eat but she has no interest in food. She starts yelling if something gets on her hands. Yes we jump in just to make sure she is getting enough nutrition 😢
My daughter does but she takes forever to eat 😂 we heat food 3-4 times. So we just feed her and done 😂
I have not come to the point in letting my baby feed himself. He is almost 1 and I'm still feeding him puree. What should i do?
My son is three and the only foods he will self feed are vegetables and fruit. We then assist in feeding him other foods like protein and carbs just to keep him at a good weight. But it’s a stressful situation for everyone and I’m not sure how to fix it..
Thank you for sharing this ,my toddler refuses to eat by himself ,even biscuits and snacks
Your content is very informative, thank you very much.
My son is 3 years old. He eats by himself at daycare. When there is something he likes such as yogurt, bread, or French fries, he eats them independently. However, if we are at home having a regular meal like soup, salad, rice, pasta, etc., he wants me to feed him. I asked him why. I said, ‘But at daycare, you eat by yourself. Why don’t you want to eat by yourself at home?’ His answer is, ‘Yes, mom, at daycare I can eat by myself, but at home, you have to feed me.’ I don’t know what to do. We don’t use TV or cellphones while we eat, and all the family eats the same food at regular hours. But I don’t know what to do; he doesn’t want to eat by himself at home 😢
If he can do it at daycare, he can do it at home but he may not want to....maybe it's his way to connect with you or it is nurturing him in some way. You can try a sticker chart to build his motivation to feed himself and praise him when he shows independence with eating...It won't be like this forever ;)
I've seen a nunber of comments stating their child refuses to eat unless the screen is on.
Kindly note that early and excessive exposure to screen time has been shown to affect key areas of the child's development.
In my practice as a paediatrician several of the infants and toddlers who had problems with feeding either had early/excessive exposure to screen time or there was a delay in introducing finger food and semisolids( should be introduced before 9 months).
You can look up the AAP guidelines on screen time limits.
For those who are already in the screen time group I would then advise a detox of absolutely no screen time( other than face time/video calls) for at least 3 months to allow the brain to reset. Also to engage more with the child as the dietician in the video describes and also be patient and creative. During this detox period also avoid using the screen time yourself in the presence of the child. After the three months you can reintroduce the screen time but stick to recommended guidelines. If this doesn't work then an occupational therapist comes in to address possible sensory issues. Hope this helps.
Thanks for your reply!
Thank you for advice very helpful 😘
You are so welcome!
My son is 2 year old and is a fussy eater , he only eats biscuits by himself and refuses to eat anything else fed by me , i have tried giving him finger foods , he just has a bite and that’s it . Also while his meal times he likes to have the TV on but still he is not eating well . Im already so worried and frustrated of trying to make him eat everyday.
Is he drinking? Sometimes, if there's a lot of milk or juice it can interfere with appetite. I would discuss with your pediatrician/doctor and see if you can get more support.
Same here! My 2.5 year old is a "picky eater" and can't use utensils. He eats dry cereal, snack foods, fries, chicken tenders, burger and sometimes boiled eggs. I am guilty of supplementing foods by giving him ELSE formula because I am scared he will get sick from lack of nutrition. I even had a Occupational Therapist for like 3 months and that didn't help.
Best wishes to you and we will get through this rough stage! 💪🏽
I have a close situations to yours with my 26 months tod.. the only difference is that he eats everything i feed him only if he’s watching tv. I know that your comment was 6 months ago, but i would like to know the updates. Is the problem solved by now? and how did you approach it?
Ladies it all begins from the beginning. How you introduced them to food. Don’t put the tv on. Keep them occupied with toys and cutlery while eating.
My son dont want to feed on his own and have tried all the tips.
And his a year old
If it isn't possible to have an eating routine (times) due to having an irregular work schedule, do you imagine this will negatively impact the child?
My son just turned 3 and he can use a fork fine and spoon in a messy way, but he really likes to be fed by an adult and I think it's comforting for him.
My son is 17 month old. He can bring the utensils to his mouth. But he doesn't know how to 'scoop' with his spoon and gets over excited when 'stabbing' more solid food. He's doesn't really concentrate on stabbing the food properly to make sure it's on his fork. I have to put the food on his utensil.
Then when the spoon or fork is in his mouth he always turns it round in his mouth so the utensil is upside down making the food drop out of his mouth, unless it's really thick e.g. porridge and is stuck to the spoon well. He won't let me help him hold the spoon or fork the correct way up, he turns the spoon face down so, if he could, he cant obviously get food on his spoon.
You will probably have to show him and ask him to mimic you - he'll get the hang of it!
My daughter is almost 4 years old but she still hasn't started feeding herself. Additionally, she only lets me feed her when she's watching a phone or iPad, and if I try to take the screen away, she refuses to eat. What should I do?
I might check in with her doctor and see if she needs further evaluation for a feeding problem...
My son is almost 3 and every time I cook and introduce new foods he throws it off the table or slaps it out of my hand and goes into a rage.. he only likes oatmeal and crackers sometimes veggie pouches he won’t eat anything by himself. If I sit a spoon in front of him he freaks out.. I try to try again later in the day and get the same reaction and it’s like he would rather starve than touch the food. If he sees the food hanging off the spoon he turns his head if he ever gets any on his cheek he wipes it away instantly. He also refuses to walk so I’m just having a hard time and I work so much I’m exhausted
Hang in there. He may have some sensory aversions - talk with your MD about it, and see if you can get Early Intervention or a referral to an Occupational therapist for evaluation.
Thank you for your amazing content. My one year old has been spoon fed ever since. Since I want to go to work, I just started him on high chair. It seems that I am late in the game and he doesn’t want to keep food in his mouth. Strangely he doesn’t even like spoon feeding. We are at a point of force feeding him food or he will cry for milk. I am lost here. I badly want to make him eat on his own. Is starting baby led weaning too late for a one year old. Should I leave him alone even if he doesn’t eat food.
Since he's already one, I'd start offering the same foods you're eating, just modified in texture/shape so he can handle on his own. Force feeding is very likely interfering with his willingness to eat and enjoy the experience. Read this: thenourishedchild.com/feeding-practices-pressuring-kids-to-eat/.
BLW at his age is simply letting him self-feed; I'd try to give him more independence and let him go at his own pace with eating. Hold milk til the end of the meal, and from an open top cup (just an inch of milk will do). Search this channel, as I have more info on toddler feeding (plus even more on my website The Nourished Child).
I came across to your channel and paid attention what you advice . My Daughter almost 3 and she still get feed by us or someone . She doesn’t want to feed herself solid food but she does eat biscuits. Also, she used to eat spaghetti small cut-up and minced meat . But now she doesn’t want to see that all. She only likes milk or moose drinks. I really want some advice please 🙏
I also thought specialist might help .
Sometimes toddlers just want a little bit more independence - I would offer her food with a variety of textures and allow her to "figure it out" with regard to eating. Definitely cut down on milk and drinks because these can interfere with her appetite. Watch this video: ua-cam.com/video/CIp2pcOebDg/v-deo.html
Did you find any solution? I am frustrated with the same issue. He is 13 months old. Also, he wont let me feed him unless I have the TV on.
My son will guide it to his mouth which is great. But refuses to pick the food up with the spoon. He grabs my hand everytime
Saaaame. Its incredibly frustrating. My daughter HATES if you try to feed her, but will eat it herself if you stab something. The coordination is there, but not the desire. Did your little one get it figured out?
Hi Jill my almost 2 yo toddler used to feed himself very well but recently he only wants either me or my husband to spoon feed him. If we don’t , he will cry and throw the spoon or foods. I guess this is because there were sometimes when we had noodle soup, we fed him so that the soup wouldn’t go over his body that could make him itchy (he has eczema)
So I don’t know how to train him back to as before. At childcare, he feed himself tho
Sounds like he's testing you to see if he can create a predictable response from you. I'd show /exaggerate your modeling of eating with utensils and lightly encourage him to do the same.
My baby dont want to have any help from me he want to do everything by himself but in the same time he not really eating that much 😕 so thats why i thought if i feed him by myself he be fuller.. its just frustrating..
My baby is 13 month old, at first (6months) we had a struggle with food because I wanted her to do all the mess and explore etc. But she didn’t want any of it. So we kept trying now she eats, she likes touching the utensils but she doesn’t like when I try to show her how to do it. 😅 Also after 6months of trying the high chair we gave up she does not like that chair, we tried different ones but she just does not like it.
Sounds like she enjoys being in charge! Have you read Raising Your Spirited Child? It helped my a lot when I was a young mother - my firstborn was very independent and wanted no help at all from me!
Hello, thank you for this video! I'll try to implement your tips. In our case, though, our child (2yo) ate by himself very well (at home and daycare). But he suddenly stopped (a couple of months ago?) and now wants us to feed him. He does not want to sit at the table at all. I thought it was a temporary thing at home, but daycare has let me know they are wondering what's happening, as he is not feeding himself unless they help with the spoon and fork (he does sit at the table there, at least...). He hates the contact of food on his hand and requests that we clean him right away. I'm trying not to overly stress over this, but I feel lost with what to do next...
I would mention this to your pediatrician - maybe some sensory sensitivity that could be addressed with Occupational therapy.
my lil brother is feeding himself but he bareley touches his food
Ok my 14 month old refuses to allow anyone to assist his hand to go to his mouth. He's played with food.. we keep routines, tried finger foods.. He rarely puts anything in his mouth, either playing, eating, or otherwise... He eats pretty good if someone feeds him, but still hadn't learned to feed himself.. we've also tried mimicking, and doesn't work.. He gets messy while playing with food, different textures, sizes, etcetera, and still nothing. Tried having him watch us eat... What to do??
I would be patient - it's a process and your child is still a new-ish eater. However, if you think there's a sensory component or a delay in development, I'd speak with your child's doctor and see if an occupational therapist might help.
My toddler is 2 1/2 years old. Its a struggle for me and for my husband how to feed him. Its frustrating as a parent that he cant eat by himself with a spoon. He just eat chips and cookies by himself but table food no. He just throws everything. Please help Thank you for your video 😢
It is frustrating! But, remember, toddlers go through phases. You can let him know throwing food isn't okay - end the meal when he does. He'll learn not to. Cut back on offering chips and cookies, and give him the food you are eating (chop or cut up so he can handle it), and let him figure out the eating of it. I'll do a video soon on throwing food!
My daughter is 6, she was a micro preemie and was hospitalized for a year with most of the time on a feeding tube then got a g-tube. She was g-tube dependent for 4.5 years. She started eating puréed food about a year ago and refuses to eat on her own. She wants us to spoon feed her. Schools/day cares are turning us away due to this. She shows no interest in food. Even when she ask us for food, she will not eat because we aren’t feeding it to her. Any advice/tips?
Have you talked with a feeding therapist?
@@JillCastle yes we are currently seeing one right now, but we are mainly focusing on her starting to chew. She just starting to display her refusal to eat when we started trying to make her eat independently about a week and half now.
My son is 17 months old, he is not a picky eater he ates everything i put on his mouth he is a spoon fed baby. But the problem is he doesnt eat by himself. I gave him food on his little table he just plays with the food. Can you give me any other tips for my son? Thank you so much!
Playing with food is always a good first step. I'd show him how to dip your fingr in food (or grab it) and bring it to your mouth - encourage him to copy you.
What if they have autism and sensory disorder? Does the same apply? My son is nearly 4 and he will not hold any cutlery at all.
Yes, it could. Have you talked with an OT (occupational therapist)? Could be helpful...
My baby has no interest in eating. He'll pick it up and throw it. He'll maybe take 3 to 5 bites, only one of which will be from himself, and then he ll fits and throw everything on the floor. He's 11 months, and I'm just scared. He's so tiny like 8th percentile.
First, try not to react. Kids love a reaction from their parents! Throwing food is very normal - young kids are learning cause and effect. If I do this, what happens? It's a game for them. That said, it can be annoying for parents. Put just a few bites on the tray at a time, add more once he's eaten what you already served. Also, check on hunger - if he's drinking lots of liquids (milk, formula, breastmilk) he may not be hungry for food.
I'm worried about sensory issues... but hoping to try these tips. My baby is 12mths old and seems to not like sitting in his feeding chair. He always cries when we put him in there.
Is his feeding chair comfortable? I had one when my kids were little that was hard plastic - not comfortable! I changed it/added a cushion and things were much better!
We had to take the front piece off our chair because we found out that’s what was making him upset. We started feeling him from the table while sitting in the chair.
What do you do when the toddler won’t let you guide their hand to their mouths? Like if they smack you away, and get agitated?
Don't force it. Just make the spoon available with meals and model its use.
Thank you.
My toddler doesn’t like to feed himself and when I don’t feed him he will eat only enough to survive and then wake up mid night crying. As such, I feed him to avoid him from staying hungry and he takes advantage of that. What to do? Should I not feed him at all for him to learn?
I would schedule 3 meals and 3 snacks (one before bedtime) and encourage him to "do it himself" - over the course of the day, he has several opportunities to eat while building his confidence that he can do this for himself (rather than you).
Hi
My 3 year old still didn't touch food?? What should I do!! He just run away from food 😢
Thank you
An occupational therapist may be a help in getting him more willing to engage with food. Also, check out Your Kids Table.
He eats still mashed food and refuses to hold even banana and eat very slow and long time need to spoon feed or else he wont eat any, before he eat byhimself holding food now he wont.
My son is one year old and still he is puried food and not eating by himself I tried everything but nothing working please help me
Keep offering strips of food he can handle himself, and try not to resort to feeding him. Sometimes children don't have confidence in feeding themselves and just need more practice and support.
My son is almost 3 and he won’t use a fork or spoon
Let him play with it in the bathtub, sandbox, etc. And offer it with meals and snacks too - see if he can figure it out. Model eating off the spoon, too!
2 year old toddler won’t eat by himself
I have always offered him foods
Also tried BLW
But he will only eat spoon fed at the screen
The problem is if I don’t spoon feed him enough he will cry at bedtime until he is satisfied with milk
If I than don’t give him enough milk he will skip naps and not sleep at night.
It's so hard! I'd say the goal is to transfer some of the responsibility of eating to him, but if he's getting what he needs from you and milk, it's much harder. How might you be able to back off from feeding a bit and let him take over? Would it help to remove the screen? Maybe he's distracted? Or reduce the amount of milk in the cup/bottle so he's not "full" and still has some appetite? I think you'll have to experiment a bit and see if he can assert some independence...let me know how it goes!
Update …
Toddler will now sit and eat but 3 spoons and done he also doesn’t mind sitting for ever but he just won’t chew “fast” so a meal will take 1,5-2h
No he’s not feeding himself with utensils. He’s 14 months and he only plays with the food with his spoon. Is that’s normal for his age?
Yes, it's normal to engage with utensils, take a break - just give plenty of opportunity - it's also ok to eat with the hands as little ones are learning. Keep up the good work!
How do I encourage my toddler to move on from purées and chew? He is 22 months. He will feed himself his purées but refuses to eat normal foods. He also does not chew and panics if a piece of food that is not pureed goes into his mouth. He has an OT but not much progress has been made. No concern for autism or anything else. Just simply won’t eat!!
He also only drinks water, no milk but not enough liquids to get full. He does not mind getting messy at all either or mind playing with different textures.
You may need a speech pathologist instead of OT - talk with OT and see - When I hear chewing, I think speech language pathologist...
I'm in a similar situation. Why a speech pathologist?
Yes my son is 28 months old and he have no intrest in food and won't feed himself😔
Check out my other videos and my website articles - more helpful information there!
I am very depressed mom
My son is 4 years he litteealy hates food
I feed him
He never want to taste food
Sending hugs. I know it's so hard when our kids won't eat. There's help out there - talk about this with your child's doctor and see if you can get more support with a dietitian or feeding therapist.
My (possibly neurodivergent) 4 year old niece can self feed, but she puts the food in her mouth and it just sits there. She won’t chew/swallow. I have to give her a countdown to remind her to chew. She tells me she is hungry and she likes the food. What can I do to get her to chew so she can finish her food with everyone else at the table?
Sounds like she's "pocketing" her food. A feeding therapist (occupational or speech) would be helpful in teaching her (and you) how to eat...
What age is toddler? 15 months? 18 months? 2 years old
A think of this as a young toddler is 13 months + to age 3 or so.
My 7 month old will play with his food for a good 20 minutes before he eats it 😂 . The problem is he is not eating enough per meal.
Make sure there are no distractions (TV, toys, iPads, etc) and join him so he can watch you eat.
@@JillCastle always focused on him and we eat together. I think he likes to squeesh his food 😅