I just started meetings and found this helpful. I’m enjoying the environment of the meetings and enjoying getting to know other attendees. I’m in no rush to get a sponsor and work the steps. I hope it’ll happen naturally over time.
I recommend the Kinder Gentler Way. It is out there and it does not have to include you feeling like shit and wanting to kill yourself. It worked for me after two failed years of AA. I just passed 4 years last December.
My original East Lansing home group expected new guys to get 3 sponsors and call three on daily basis until advised otherwise. Don W. was my stern disciplinarian sponsor, Jerry S. was my 'slow down and talk about your feelings' sponsor, David was my east coast intellectual, actively recovering from narcissism sponsor.
if i can give one take away is do not put people on pedestals etc.. Guard yourself and be careful, really is some sick people in there (some good ones too) got over 300 meetings done and starting to really feel the cult notion..
I like everything you said, but the way you just seemed to be patient and waiting until your ready, doesn't sound like you were afraid dying immediately ...like I was. If I waited until I was sponsorable? lol its sounds like a sport, am I coachable? Fentanyl was dropping bodies all over NYC, I was next. I needed anyone in the program that could help me stop and stay stopped, like out-patient drug testing. someone... i dont care how much they know are just a bad fit, others are annoying but they are getting it going with you, showing me how it works, its took me over a decade to get it right. Then there were others that I felt like were angels without wings, just so easy to talk to...I trusted them. my suggestion is get someone as soon as possible and figure the rest out as you go. Your life depends on it, even if its a counselor, therapist, psychiatrist, GET SOMEBODY> Godspeed
Save yourself the bizarre and get a hippa constrained professional counselor that uses other modalities such as behavioral cognitive and rational emotive. There's too many narcissists in those meetings.
Could not agree more with you. I've suggested using a professional addiction therapist at a meeting. Only to have a roomful of people look at me with contempt and confused looks
Why would you ever go to a spiritual program’s meeting and suggest a medical or psychological approach to addiction treatment? Seems pure narcissism to me.
So, Jon, you're an alcoholic? I take it you've abstained for a number of years, so how could you still be an alcoholic? Do ex-smokers still refer to themselves as smokers? If you tried to tell one that, they'd look at you as if you had two heads. Even though the term alcoholic got corrupted, to mean a drunkard, even if one accepts its current misuse, then it implies one is still practicing it (drinking). An equally invalid description, is stating that one is a 'recovering alcoholic.' But yet, it is also put about, that one can never actually recover from alcoholism, so since the term recovering implies an eventual recovery, how can this dichotomy exist, without sounding patently inane. The whole concept is rife with contradiction. Then there are all the ill reports of AA members' untoward behavior (sexual predation, manipulating sponsees, etc.) How can all this be reconciled with you people simply going on vaingloriously, about the supposed virtues of AA? Get your own house in order, first, rather than just the simplistic spouting of banal catch phrases, buzzwords and slogans. Whenever I've engaged AA people in this debate, they mainly just resort to avoiding the question, or mere gainsaying. Most likely, I'll be deluged with responses varying from that I sound as if I have a lot of resentment in me or am just a dry drunk.
Quit drinking eight years ago. This was after drinking for fifty years and with the last thirty-five years drinking excessively every day. Thought using every available resources would be beneficial. That's when I thought of AA. I've been approached by several AAers to be my sponsor. I always respectfully declined, in fact I've never had a sponsor. Knowing that there are very competent sponsors who would be an asset to sustaining your sobriety. . While there are many others who couldn't run a self service gas station who should be sued for malpractice. Anyone seeking a sponsor should avoid them like you would a future ex wife.
I just started meetings and found this helpful. I’m enjoying the environment of the meetings and enjoying getting to know other attendees. I’m in no rush to get a sponsor and work the steps. I hope it’ll happen naturally over time.
Thanks John for providing a sound outline for good long-term sponsorship
I chose a man whom I thought had his life together. Years of sobriety and a successful career. Been over 10 years now.
Many different opinions.Keep going to mtgs.Stay in touch with the program
I recommend the Kinder Gentler Way. It is out there and it does not have to include you feeling like shit and wanting to kill yourself. It worked for me after two failed years of AA. I just passed 4 years last December.
My original East Lansing home group expected new guys to get 3 sponsors and call three on daily basis until advised otherwise. Don W. was my stern disciplinarian sponsor, Jerry S. was my 'slow down and talk about your feelings' sponsor, David was my east coast intellectual, actively recovering from narcissism sponsor.
if i can give one take away is do not put people on pedestals etc..
Guard yourself and be careful, really is some sick people in there (some good ones too)
got over 300 meetings done and starting to really feel the cult notion..
I really want to hear this!!
I like everything you said, but the way you just seemed to be patient and waiting until your ready, doesn't sound like you were afraid dying immediately ...like I was. If I waited until I was sponsorable? lol its sounds like a sport, am I coachable? Fentanyl was dropping bodies all over NYC, I was next. I needed anyone in the program that could help me stop and stay stopped, like out-patient drug testing. someone... i dont care how much they know are just a bad fit, others are annoying but they are getting it going with you, showing me how it works, its took me over a decade to get it right. Then there were others that I felt like were angels without wings, just so easy to talk to...I trusted them.
my suggestion is get someone as soon as possible and figure the rest out as you go. Your life depends on it, even if its a counselor, therapist, psychiatrist, GET SOMEBODY> Godspeed
Save yourself the bizarre and get a hippa constrained professional counselor that uses other modalities such as behavioral cognitive and rational emotive. There's too many narcissists in those meetings.
So true
😊
Could not agree more with you. I've suggested using a professional addiction therapist at a meeting. Only to have a roomful of people look at me with contempt and confused looks
yes. I experienced it
Why would you ever go to a spiritual program’s meeting and suggest a medical or psychological approach to addiction treatment? Seems pure narcissism to me.
They all abused me
Reviewed my comment. Yep. The culture of the amateur is dangerous. Different world out there. See orange papers. Buyer beware
LISTEN CAREFULLY....YOU PICK A PERSON WHO HAS HARMONIZED THEIR #1. WORDS, #2 ACTIONS #3 VALUES Period.
So, Jon, you're an alcoholic? I take it you've abstained for a number of years, so how could you still be an alcoholic? Do ex-smokers still refer to themselves as smokers? If you tried to tell one that, they'd look at you as if you had two heads. Even though the term alcoholic got corrupted, to mean a drunkard, even if one accepts its current misuse, then it implies one is still practicing it (drinking). An equally invalid description, is stating that one is a 'recovering alcoholic.' But yet, it is also put about, that one can never actually recover from alcoholism, so since the term recovering implies an eventual recovery, how can this dichotomy exist, without sounding patently inane. The whole concept is rife with contradiction. Then there are all the ill reports of AA members' untoward behavior (sexual predation, manipulating sponsees, etc.) How can all this be reconciled with you people simply going on vaingloriously, about the supposed virtues of AA? Get your own house in order, first, rather than just the simplistic spouting of banal catch phrases, buzzwords and slogans. Whenever I've engaged AA people in this debate, they mainly just resort to avoiding the question, or mere gainsaying. Most likely, I'll be deluged with responses varying from that I sound as if I have a lot of resentment in me or am just a dry drunk.
Quit drinking eight years ago. This was after drinking for fifty years and with the last thirty-five years drinking excessively every day. Thought using every available resources would be beneficial. That's when I thought of AA. I've been approached by several AAers to be my sponsor. I always respectfully declined, in fact I've never had a sponsor. Knowing that there are very competent sponsors who would be an asset to sustaining your sobriety. . While there are many others who couldn't run a self service gas station who should be sued for malpractice. Anyone seeking a sponsor should avoid them like you would a future ex wife.
careful taking advice from anyone