Christine, you're a beautiful, bold, intelligent, articulate and courageous woman. You've spoken for many and I share in your experience. This joy that radiates in you can be much more if you let Jesus at the centre of it all. I love and celebrate you ❤
The number of times my ex told me "Toka....Si uende!.... in my 27 years of marriage. The number of times I was told....hata hawa watoto si wangu....and I would beg him to do a DNA to stop the emotional abuse and financial abuse..??? What I did not know was he was looking forward to moving on and I was not letting go. To cut a long story short - when I finally filed for divorce, today I can confirm that he discarded his children aged 28 and 25. We refuse to see the red flags that are right infront of us. You can not live with someone that detests you (forcing issues)
@ 43:30 silent treatment & lack of communicating/ discussing hard things sent me to place of deep retrospection of a relationship I was in, then I realized there was a way I was being treated which was not right… I don’t know how to speak up for my self, I just went into my cocoon hoping things will iron out, I only wanted to feel peace in my heart again. Thank you Christine for speaking for us who can’t speak up. Now I know there are words to define what I was going through, I searched Psychology books, & my eyes started opening. At least I stepped away from the relationship… and God has restored my peace!
Wow, your comment resonates with so many people, including myself! The silent treatment can be incredibly damaging, and it's fantastic that you took that time for introspection. It's so important to find your voice and what you deserve in a relationship. Using psychology books to understand yourself is a fantastic step! I'm so glad you found peace. Finding the words can be empowering, and I'm happy this video helped. Keep shining.
No marriage or relationship is exactly like another. Different things make different people happy. But I've found that there's always a way to fix problems. Five years ago, my wife and I almost got divorced because of our issues. But we worked hard and got through it. It was tough, but we're stronger now
I get what you're saying, and I really want to be happy too. There's someone special to me, and even though we're apart now, I can't imagine life without her; I love her a lot. I hope she comes back, and I'm ready to do whatever it takes. We've tried therapy and other things to fix things.
It's always hard to say goodbye to someone you love a lot, but for me, a special counselor named Aurelia Maisie Goelet helped save my marriage from breaking
I value this advice. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that following this path will bring about positive outcomes for me too; I long for her deeply
It is good to see the lady calm, shows she has healed from this whole thing. Truly love is what you do and continue to do. Love is not a destination. As it is said “it takes two to tango”.
This is a narrative of my own story. Thank you for sharing this personal experiences with us. May you recover all that you lost and find healing in the Lord.❤
Christine i feel you. The bible also says only death can put marriage asunder. But we need to understand death it's not only physical but also the kind of marriage you were in was dying. I pray you reconnect with God it's worth it. Am born again and am devorced.
Biblically, infidelity is also grounds for divorce. God dies indeed hate alot of things according to proverbs 6:16-19. Divorce is just one among them. However, God does not hate divorcees.
Christine we love you and l really love your story go back to church God loves you so much more than what you think God still waiting for you 😢 your his child.. come back home my child God him self his calling you... am praying for you my dear Sister
Hey there, thanks for sharing your story! It sounds like you've been on a big journey. Detaching for two years is a powerful step, and I can only imagine what you're going through now with the conscious uncoupling. Would you be open to sharing a bit more about your experience?
My husband told me 3 weeks ago that he wants divorce. He packed all his things and left. I went to him to try and see if it's possible to fix and found out he actually left me 2018 mentally when he told himself that he will never take care of me financially anymore. I wish I knew this same time I would be healed by now. I'm so sad confused, completely lost. I am angry. I have so many questions and every time I try to get them he gets even more irritated with me. I'm so heartbroken by this. He chose to separate our finances after I took care of him for 3 years unemployed and the minute he found a job he abandoned me. I feel so stupid.
Thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry you're going through a very difficult time, my heart goes out to you. A divorce can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and it's completely understandable to feel sad, confused, angry, and heartbroken. It's also normal to have a lot of questions. If you're open to it, I would recommend seeking professional support during this time. A family lawyer or counselor can be a great resource to help you process your emotions and navigate this difficult situation.
This is me. I had this voice as early as 16 years but I went ahead and settled with someone. 14 years later and three beautiful kids, I feel like this has to be one of my worst mistakes. Marriage was not meant for me 😢😢 but I'm grateful he's present for his children and I have a job that can take care of me. One day at a time
On that communication, it is key. Inability to have difficult conversations successfully is a serrious issue in the home. Talking about the silent commumication option is another tough issue.
Great point about the importance of communication! While difficult conversations are important, I also think healthy holding space can be valuable. For example, sometimes giving someone space to cool down before talking things through can be helpful. What do you think?
A woman becomes resentful and doesn't care anymore is she has to take care of everything and if the man is not supportive. You can easily tell cos even the childen reach out to the mother first whenver they need something. They may live together but the marriage ended a long time ago
That's a really insightful point. It's so true that resentment can build a wall in a relationship. But I also believe couples can reconnect and rebuild trust.
glad to have come across this. When i'm ready i will tell my story, the silent treatment i have had to endure, 6 months to 7 months at a time, the financial abuse.
Wow, thanks for sharing that. It sounds like you have a powerful story to tell. There are so many people who can relate to feeling unheard or unseen. When you're ready to share your experience, I know it will resonate with many viewers here.
My dear your story is similar to my own. I detached for 12 Years before separation.because i believed that God hated divorce till I came to understand that God hated divorce but not divorces. Am still born again Christian and I know God loves me all the same, please go back to God and have a personal walk with him he loves you more than you can imagine . You can give church a break for now.❤
Strength in your journey❤ Ama, to visit a different Fellowship? From experience, abstinence from church can be so addictive, you find yourself in a place of being a lone ranger.
God be with you my sister. You're not the first, neither will you last. Inner peace should be number one for us to leave healthy. You will find love again. Who knows, maybe you will reunited one day. It happens😊. I love you for being brave. Many are stuck in there and suffering.
I detached with my husband he left me and we moved on. I thought I would suffer but the moment he left I was at peace. He tried to come back but I had made up my mind 2 move on. I realized what he had done to me would continue cheating and expectations for me to give him children then I was a year younger than him. Would he stand with me at my age. I didn't think so therefore I said no. Oh and God has been with me all the way
Hey Hannah, thanks for sharing your story! Your strength and decisiveness are truly inspiring. Would you be open to discussing this more on a future episode of Dialogues With Jagero? We could explore moving on from betrayal and finding personal peace. #HealingJourney #Divorce #StrongerAlone #WomensEmpowerment
Thanks for reaching out from South Africa. You're absolutely right, it's a huge issue and I totally understand why people might be hesitant to discuss it.
Marriage is not a matter of life and death,plz if its not working let ppl divorce and go separate ways,..you don't have to kill each other bcoz it ddint work...lets normalize separation kuliko kuuana na kuacha watoto traumatized.
Thanks! It's so rewarding to connect with people this way. I remember feeling the same way before I started my channel. It's all about taking that first step!
If my late Husband was around i would still be living with him even if treated with disrespect..Now doing my postmortem i realize i was in an abusive relationship
Marriage is a gift from God.and it's a precious thing.but if it's start going wrong,u will regret your existance, especially if kids are involved.u can try it best but if u partner is not into it,nothing will work.and forcing can cause heart attacks.brain damage....I like the way she always thought about kids...thanks for healing today u can talk about it ,as if it's some ones story...healing a long processes...oohh..God..thanks jagero we appreciate it efforts...from zambia
You're right, marriage can be a beautiful thing, but it's definitely hard work. It's great that you admire Christine’s strength in talking about her experience, especially for the sake of the kids. Healing is a long process, and we appreciate your support!
😊I like that story of how they met.... 😆 Lol. Eii Jagero ati "you are still biscuity and brittle"😂. Christine is very intelligent and as much as this was difficult,I think she has done well for herself esp. coming-off with her head held high.
Haha, that's one way to look at it! But seriously, healthy communication and independence are key in any relationship. Who knows, maybe we should not really rely on mind-reading?
That's awesome that you found the video enlightening even though you're not married. The advice can often apply to different types of relationships as well. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss future videos!
I went through that exactly but to me it's 30 years of that toxic relationship I could not pull out of that marriage until my children helped me to get out but still I only relocated I don't know if I'm out of that marriage
Thank you for sharing your story. Leaving a long-term relationship can be a confusing process, even after the physical separation. There's no right or wrong way to feel, and it's okay if it takes time.
I had always thought that, The "I hate divorce phrase from God does not mean a spouse can not leave the marriage because the scripture also talks of a woman departing from her husband, and also about an unbelieving spouse free to leave the marriage if they so want. I am also fully persuaded that a mental health check is necessary to those who abuse their spouses, just as those who abuse children or others, it is not normal. . Be careful not to marry spirits in human bodies too. 😂😂😂
The Bible can be tricky to navigate at times, but you're right, there are definitely verses that speak to separation within marriage. On the mental health check, I couldn't agree more. Abuse is never okay, and getting help is crucial. Be careful not to marry spirits in human bodies too! That last line cracked me up! On a serious note, though, having a strong foundation before marriage is key. What are some ways you think people can prepare themselves for a healthy marriage?
@@TheJagero if one is a believer, please under go deliverance from your roots and foundations. I am a testimony. A spirit that transformed itself to be in the likeness of my spouse tormented me in my dreams, In the dream these personality appearing as my spouse will beat me, drag me in the streets, stab me with knifes and rape me in public ). Every time in the dream the spirit will be coming from my place of birth, on my fathers side. At times out of my great grandmas house and from my fathers house. I asked myself why, why will my spouse be seen in houses of my own biological family, until one day I fought with it in the dream and i was telling it, ‘u are not my husband, when a veil of a mask fell from its face during the fight, I saw a face of a man I don’t know and a man I would not want to know, bloody red eyed demon, the eyes so bloody red like they will ooze blood out). I called my elder sister to enguire and she said our family had a witch doctor who was helping all family members . Long story short, as a Christian I had refused to have the witch doctor to be called to my marriage. But I did not renounce or break from the covenant for I was naive and ignorant. IT WAS A LEGAL CAUSE- I was a legal captive. The spirit had family foundational authority to persue me. What events took place in my home and life is another story to tell. I did self deliverance prayers after listening to Deliverance sermons on UA-cam. If not a believer, or not believing in deliverance ....😎...... maybe see psychologists because life is spiritual
Speaking to understand each other is the Holy Grail of relationships. And you can not understand your partner if you do not understand yourself. To what degree one partner, say the man, to the degree that he understands himself to Thant degree he can articulately explain things in a way that she would at the overly least see where he is coming from. Communication is the uninterrupted flow of Love to and from love . For we are Each Love trying to remember its self
I can totally relate. Women detach then pretend all is well before our friends and family. we always hide from the truth only to hurt ourselves even more
You ain't wrong! Toxic marriages are the WORST for everyone involved. Kids soak up that drama like a sponge! But hey, on a brighter note, at least we're out here talking about it.
Mhm so educational, this will help me go on with my life. I m separated "indefinitely " since we not going to divorce because of our "culture " SO DIFFICULT
I hear you, and it sounds like you're in a really tough situation. While the video may not directly address separation, hopefully, there are some takeaways that can be applied to any difficult life experience. If you'd like to talk more, feel free to reach out in a private message.
People who have not been in your position may be too quick to judge. But I won't judge you as I've been in your position but slightly worse. My ex-hubby was not even trying to find a job. The worst bit is that he also brought 3 teen kids for me to take care of. I was even in a position where I only had 1 meal per day trying to afford my 2 small kids. I was also diagnosed with severe depression. Financial abuse is real!
I can't imagine dealing with all that on top of depression. You're incredibly strong for getting through it. I'm glad you're in a better place now. Financial abuse is definitely real, and I'm so happy we can talk openly about it.
God hates divorce but God does not hate divorcees. Narcissists will use the'God hates divorce ' to keep controlling you and to let you stay where you are suffering.
God's love extends to everyone, no matter their circumstances. It can be really tough when someone uses religion to manipulate a situation. Remember, you have the strength to make your own choices about what's best for your happiness and well-being.
I went through the same story like her...i gave my marriage all because i wanted to work.. at some point I was tired and I had to call it a quit so that i can be happy...i decided to start all over again in my life... I am happy that i got the strength to walk away... The relatives didn't bother even to look for me.. but i believe rejection is preservation...
I can't imagine how hard it must have been. It takes a lot of courage to leave a situation, even when it's unhappy. "Rejection is preservation" - that's such a wise saying.
We’re sorry that sometimes Christ is not so well represented by the Christian. May the love of Christ be renewed in Christine to refresh her soul and her children
I'm glad you found the video informative. The core aspects of divorce can be similar across situations, but there can also be unique challenges depending on the specifics. Did the video touch on anything you particularly connected with?
Iam i a toxic marriage and my husband has refused to divorce because he believes marriage's for life no matter what challenges. It's about misuse of money and not having a stable job for a decade. This man sold all pepperties we had,he invested money with colleagues &has always lost it. We have 3 kids of which i take full responsibility as a parent. He can't meet the basic needs of a home. I hate this man for what he's done&doing to the kids want out! Please advise.
I don't believe that as an adult, someone can hold you against your will. You are not his slave. You can plan & leave whenever you are ready. Leave, separate first. Divorce can always come years later after separation.
Financial strain and a lack of job stability can definitely take a toll on a marriage. Having to take on the full responsibility for the kids on top of that must be incredibly stressful.
You have to think of the negative effects on your health and the negative effects on the children. You can physically separate for a while. Plan your future. Ask yourself questions.
Amazing story by this lovely and charismatic lady.The society never gives men a platform to share their side of story.The society has a way of showing empathy to the ladies and zero mercy to the gentlemen who also have alot to loose in divorce
Men shout loudest in bars, at football events etc. Give them a platform to emotionally open up about their true lives and they will run around with no one will understand, it’s a woman thing etc. If men stopped blaming society and walked their journeys, society would be great enough to listen. Has O’dur stopped any man from speaking up?
Thanks for watching and for your comment. You're absolutely right, this story is a powerful example of needing to hear all sides. Society is definitely getting better at balanced perspectives, but there's always room for improvement.
Men won’t communicate with their wife so you know they will not get on social media telling their story. They will tell their flying monkeys. When he asked for a divorce he was trying to discard her as narcissistic people do. But she did a reverse discard. She now has a very good outlook on what happened. “It was good but now it’s not “.
Christine, you are a beautiful soul... We don't leave God because he hates divorce. We embrace him cause he understands our pain.. Divorce hurts everyone, including God. Let me let you know that the Lord Jesus Christ still loves you always regardless. There's a call on your life to come back to Christ... He will heal you. And you will help those lost, even in the church, understand God's take on divorce, which few really understand. No one really teaches these things clearly that's why it's hard & hurtful. God's word is true & eternal. You need his covering in your life into your unknown as well. His arms are still stretched out to receive you. You were with lost 'churchgoers'. Who couldn't help you both. Keep well, girl. Father is waiting for you❤.
You are a beautiful soul. Not judgemental, but loving. I know a lot of people who stop going to church or change their religion because of people saying God doesn't like divorce and make them feel guilty. They forget that God is loving, a father who understands his children's pain and suffering.
Absolutely, God's arms are always open, and finding a supportive community is key. Keep in mind, that community can extend beyond traditional church structures too.
Amazing Chritine. I have learnt alot. I once went through that although am healed and moved on. But still not yet re marred. I am still learning from alot of mistakes and from other testimonies like yours. But go back to chrianity please. Learn the bible by your self with help of the Holy spirit. Independent thinking and learning.
Hi Mbabazi, Thanks so much for sharing your story, Christine's journey was definitely powerful. It's amazing how you've been able to heal and move forward after your experience. On the topic of remarriage, that's a very personal decision, and we completely support you wherever you are on that path. It's fantastic that you're actively learning from your mistakes and finding inspiration from others' experiences. That's a great way for personal growth. As for your faith, that's also a personal choice. Whether you choose to explore Christianity again or continue on your own spiritual path, the important thing is finding what brings you peace and purpose.
I'm right there about to separate I have no feelings for him the man I loved so much .I'm so lost 😕 Ihave no idea how to go about it but mennnn I have cried enough
Hi Eunice, Sending you strength during this difficult time. Separations can be incredibly hard, even when you know it's the right decision. It's completely normal to feel lost and confused.
Sometimes, our relationships go through changes. Taking some time for self-reflection can help you understand your feelings better. Would you like to explore some potential reasons for feeling detached?
To this beautiful lady, I want to remind her that God hates divorce, but he does not hate divorce people, I encourage her to recomit her life to God again, . She will experience love like no other
@@TheJagerothis is one of the biggest and blind excuse for these women to stay in a abusive married saying God hate divorce bir there are so many things God hate that we still doing
Yeah it's true a woman can build or destroy a home with her own hands more over we are human prone to do mistakes but us individuals we have power to choose right from wrong our God gave us that power that's why we were made in his image and likeness more over we have intuitions to guide us, we have minds to think deeply and our God never fails it's just that sometimes we are ignorant not curious to know more ,educate ourselves more, do research we shouldn't blame religion honestly we can't rely everything spiritually sometimes it's just being open minded and again about religion in this era we are more informed come on so if you feel like a certain pastor or a certain church is demeaning you just do better but don't say I left God because God listens and our God doesn't compromise suffering to anyone so let's do better, let's learn new things and so on
Sometimes people might not realize they're giving mixed signals, but you're right, it can be frustrating. Maybe she can try asking some open-ended questions to draw out their desires?
It is quite common these days. I bet people are overwhelmed with issues and life challenges. In return they over expect alot from their spouses without verbalise n register continously resentment that culminates into a divorce.
Money can definitely be a stressor in relationships, but there could be other factors at play in this situation too. Did anything else stand out to you in the video?
Wow, that's amazing to hear! It sounds like you and Christine are a powerful team. Would you be up for sharing a bit more about your story in the comments or DM? I'd love to hear how you conquer it.
I love her she's authentic but unfortunately the end about her on leaving God it's so sad at first she clearly said the marriage thing was not in her hence she ends tolerating the marriage then the outcome it's doesn't work out which was bound to happen then she goes to church for advise come on Christine I understand but sometimes if it's draining seek a professional that's again the problem in the millennial error but now there are professionals to guide us books to enlighten it's unfortunate she gave out her power of declaring God in her life because of marriage that even did not serve her right please please honestly God has nothing to do with that let's not contradict the word of God and again some matters can't be solved spiritually,not all even God gave power learn to say No that's the beauty of life and God will understand provided we do things purely ,out of love ,kindness,self love and not pleasing others nice time
Concerning a hard working and successful partner : the truth is when anyone does that, be it man or woman they are drained and exhausted. The only difference is men are praised and honored by their wives, while wives are nothing-ed by their husbands 🤷🏽
It's true that anyone who works hard can get exhausted. Ideally, a successful partnership involves mutual support and appreciation, regardless of gender.
When religious rules overshadow who God is... Then a woman, women... And men are put to task when they choose their mental, physical and emotional over oppressive religious rules. I am so sorry in whatever capacity for the erroneous way in which this thing bout God hating divorce among many other erroneous teachings that trap people in horrible situations. I am so so sorry fornthe stigma and church related madness. May God reveal himself as he really is when you are ready. ❤
That is true. A lot people has gone from church or religion because of this madness. Putting God as a punisher or hater for divorce rather than a father who understands his children's pain and suffering.
You bring up a really important point about the true message of God getting overshadowed by interpretations. It's definitely something worth discussing.
From her story i can deduce that the marriage was not working because they both started from wrong foundation, they also do not have mentors to help them correct wrong believes and mindset about marriage. My candid opinion is that the marriage would have worked if they had this in place.
We start wrong, we don't go wrong. Well said.
We need to really educate those who want marriage.
We start wrong. True
I like the way Jagero listened and let Christine speak. Am touched, humbled and inspired by how she handled the divorce and the aftermath.
Why do I feel like am going through the same?
Me too! Christine's honesty is so refreshing. It takes a lot of courage to be that vulnerable.
Indeed he is such an amazing interviewer
Christine, you're a beautiful, bold, intelligent, articulate and courageous woman. You've spoken for many and I share in your experience. This joy that radiates in you can be much more if you let Jesus at the centre of it all. I love and celebrate you ❤
Your kind words truly mean a lot. I'm glad the video resonated with you.
The number of times my ex told me "Toka....Si uende!.... in my 27 years of marriage. The number of times I was told....hata hawa watoto si wangu....and I would beg him to do a DNA to stop the emotional abuse and financial abuse..??? What I did not know was he was looking forward to moving on and I was not letting go. To cut a long story short - when I finally filed for divorce, today I can confirm that he discarded his children aged 28 and 25. We refuse to see the red flags that are right infront of us. You can not live with someone that detests you (forcing issues)
This is a story of thousands of women. Goodluck Christine
This story resonates with so many women, and Christine's journey is powerful. Thanks for watching!
@ 43:30 silent treatment & lack of communicating/ discussing hard things sent me to place of deep retrospection of a relationship I was in, then I realized there was a way I was being treated which was not right… I don’t know how to speak up for my self, I just went into my cocoon hoping things will iron out, I only wanted to feel peace in my heart again. Thank you Christine for speaking for us who can’t speak up. Now I know there are words to define what I was going through, I searched Psychology books, & my eyes started opening. At least I stepped away from the relationship… and God has restored my peace!
Wow, your comment resonates with so many people, including myself! The silent treatment can be incredibly damaging, and it's fantastic that you took that time for introspection. It's so important to find your voice and what you deserve in a relationship. Using psychology books to understand yourself is a fantastic step! I'm so glad you found peace. Finding the words can be empowering, and I'm happy this video helped. Keep shining.
This was very insightful! Thank you for sharing wakili and Jagero for hosting.
No marriage or relationship is exactly like another. Different things make different people happy. But I've found that there's always a way to fix problems. Five years ago, my wife and I almost got divorced because of our issues. But we worked hard and got through it. It was tough, but we're stronger now
I get what you're saying, and I really want to be happy too. There's someone special to me, and even though we're apart now, I can't imagine life without her; I love her a lot. I hope she comes back, and I'm ready to do whatever it takes. We've tried therapy and other things to fix things.
It's always hard to say goodbye to someone you love a lot, but for me, a special counselor named Aurelia Maisie Goelet helped save my marriage from breaking
I value this advice. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that following this path will bring about positive outcomes for me too; I long for her deeply
Welcome
God bless you
It is good to see the lady calm, shows she has healed from this whole thing. Truly love is what you do and continue to do. Love is not a destination. As it is said “it takes two to tango”.
Thanks for watching. It’s delightful to see ourselves through the journey of healing. Perhaps why we commit to having these bold conversations at DWJ.
This is a narrative of my own story. Thank you for sharing this personal experiences with us. May you recover all that you lost and find healing in the Lord.❤
Thank YOU for taking the time to watch and share your thoughts. Your kind words mean so much to me. Sending strength and blessings your way too.
Christine i feel you. The bible also says only death can put marriage asunder. But we need to understand death it's not only physical but also the kind of marriage you were in was dying. I pray you reconnect with God it's worth it. Am born again and am devorced.
Biblically, infidelity is also grounds for divorce. God dies indeed hate alot of things according to proverbs 6:16-19. Divorce is just one among them. However, God does not hate divorcees.
Thanks for sharing your perspective! Being born again and going through a divorce yourself adds a whole new layer of understanding.
Christine we love you and l really love your story go back to church God loves you so much more than what you think God still waiting for you 😢 your his child.. come back home my child God him self his calling you... am praying for you my dear Sister
This is my story almost word for word. I detached for 2 years. Going through the conscious uncoupling phase now
Hey there, thanks for sharing your story! It sounds like you've been on a big journey. Detaching for two years is a powerful step, and I can only imagine what you're going through now with the conscious uncoupling. Would you be open to sharing a bit more about your experience?
My husband told me 3 weeks ago that he wants divorce. He packed all his things and left. I went to him to try and see if it's possible to fix and found out he actually left me 2018 mentally when he told himself that he will never take care of me financially anymore. I wish I knew this same time I would be healed by now. I'm so sad confused, completely lost. I am angry. I have so many questions and every time I try to get them he gets even more irritated with me. I'm so heartbroken by this.
He chose to separate our finances after I took care of him for 3 years unemployed and the minute he found a job he abandoned me. I feel so stupid.
Thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry you're going through a very difficult time, my heart goes out to you.
A divorce can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and it's completely understandable to feel sad, confused, angry, and heartbroken. It's also normal to have a lot of questions.
If you're open to it, I would recommend seeking professional support during this time. A family lawyer or counselor can be a great resource to help you process your emotions and navigate this difficult situation.
It is well gal,hugs
One day i will tell my story,...when that young girl inside you said i will never get married,meeeen listen forever to that voice,it will save alot.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It takes courage to be vulnerable. Remember, your story is powerful and can inspire others. You're not alone.
This is me.
I had this voice as early as 16 years but I went ahead and settled with someone. 14 years later and three beautiful kids, I feel like this has to be one of my worst mistakes. Marriage was not meant for me 😢😢 but I'm grateful he's present for his children and I have a job that can take care of me. One day at a time
I totally get what Christine is saying. It’s a process of detachment.
How can I enjoy this podcast less? This is the most genuine, pointed, and nuanced discussion.
parts did you find particularly genuine and nuanced? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
"Stay where you are celebrated. Not where you are tolerated" That right there is goin to my status. Pap.
Absolutely! Surrounding yourself with positivity is so important.
On that communication, it is key. Inability to have difficult conversations successfully is a serrious issue in the home. Talking about the silent commumication option is another tough issue.
Great point about the importance of communication! While difficult conversations are important, I also think healthy holding space can be valuable. For example, sometimes giving someone space to cool down before talking things through can be helpful. What do you think?
For me I think lack of communication comes from lack of interest in the relationship.
Thanks Muthoni, for your vulnabillity in sharing this with us. May the good Lord Bless you
You are most welcome
A woman becomes resentful and doesn't care anymore is she has to take care of everything and if the man is not supportive. You can easily tell cos even the childen reach out to the mother first whenver they need something. They may live together but the marriage ended a long time ago
That's a really insightful point. It's so true that resentment can build a wall in a relationship. But I also believe couples can reconnect and rebuild trust.
glad to have come across this. When i'm ready i will tell my story, the silent treatment i have had to endure, 6 months to 7 months at a time, the financial abuse.
Waa just like my situation, he can go silent up to a month, yet we are in the same space,
@@shellemukami2618 jioni mpikie anachopenda kisha kitandani mvalie lingerie uona kama atakupa hio silent treatment.
Wow, thanks for sharing that. It sounds like you have a powerful story to tell. There are so many people who can relate to feeling unheard or unseen. When you're ready to share your experience, I know it will resonate with many viewers here.
This is what we call PhD in keeping malice 😭😭
My dear your story is similar to my own. I detached for 12 Years before separation.because i believed that God hated divorce till I came to understand that God hated divorce but not divorces. Am still born again Christian and I know God loves me all the same, please go back to God and have a personal walk with him he loves you more than you can imagine . You can give church a break for now.❤
Can you please elaborate more on the "divorce vs divorces"!?
Church can definitely be a double-edged sword sometimes, you know? But a personal walk with Him, that's something I'm always working on.
Strength in your journey❤
Ama, to visit a different Fellowship? From experience, abstinence from church can be so addictive, you find yourself in a place of being a lone ranger.
I have the same here but now separate n left the country to America. Am rebuilding my life.
God be with you my sister. You're not the first, neither will you last. Inner peace should be number one for us to leave healthy. You will find love again. Who knows, maybe you will reunited one day. It happens😊. I love you for being brave. Many are stuck in there and suffering.
I love these discussions so much. Knowledge is power!
Thanks alot.
Thanks Christina for sharing your story. Its inspirational, I wish you happiness and love...
Jagero you're a good listener...
Thanks for listening
I detached with my husband he left me and we moved on. I thought I would suffer but the moment he left I was at peace. He tried to come back but I had made up my mind 2 move on. I realized what he had done to me would continue cheating and expectations for me to give him children then I was a year younger than him. Would he stand with me at my age. I didn't think so therefore I said no. Oh and God has been with me all the way
Hey Hannah, thanks for sharing your story! Your strength and decisiveness are truly inspiring. Would you be open to discussing this more on a future episode of Dialogues With Jagero? We could explore moving on from betrayal and finding personal peace.
#HealingJourney #Divorce #StrongerAlone #WomensEmpowerment
I'm in SA,thanks for discussing this,lot of people dont wanna talk about it and sadly its a huge pandemic
Thanks for reaching out from South Africa. You're absolutely right, it's a huge issue and I totally understand why people might be hesitant to discuss it.
Good thoughts, great discussion! Don't dismiss your faith entirely on the basis that God hates divorce
May the peace of God locate Christine once more.
Faith can definitely play a role in how we view divorce.
Christine is a very wise woman….. she exhausted all options… she is a lover …. ❤❤
The late Dr. Myles Monroe said, never marry because you are in love. Marry because the 2 of you are compatible.
Love is definitely important too, but it should go hand-in-hand with a strong foundation of shared values and goals.
Yes, love is not enough for marriage.
Thanks alot for sharing your story with us,your honesty and genuineness speaks volumes about you
You’re welcome
I am not married but could listen to her all day
Haha, don't worry, you're not alone! There's something about her that's incredibly captivating, isn't there? Maybe we should start a fan club.
You can't understand it unless you are there my dear
Wait untill you hear the other side, she is beautiful and intelligent but something is not addeding up.
True@@kingpk4429
Marriage is good if its planted on a good foundation. If both of you have similar values. If you are not too emotional, you will see the red flags.
True. Strong communication and shared values are key
My goodness... people can live parallel lives for real. This is my story. Thank you for sharing❤
You are so welcome
People do grow in different directions as time goes by. When this happens it's best to move on.
It's kind of wild to think about how much we can change.
jaaaaaaaaagerooooooo hiii ni nywele sipi tena,, its in between KOFFI, KASIPUL, ZAIKO , WAZEKWA na finally hata sijui you made my day
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Aiseee! Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ndio, nywele ni noma. I see you're a person of culture with excellent taste in music.
Marriage is not a matter of life and death,plz if its not working let ppl divorce and go separate ways,..you don't have to kill each other bcoz it ddint work...lets normalize separation kuliko kuuana na kuacha watoto traumatized.
Totally agree! Divorce can be tough, but it's important to prioritize everyone's well-being.
Normalize separation. Interesting. I like it.
This is a great conversation. One day i will seat on that chair and inspire someone with my journey.
Thanks! It's so rewarding to connect with people this way. I remember feeling the same way before I started my channel. It's all about taking that first step!
She is a good narrator. She has touched on many things that affects pple in bad marriages. L
I'm so glad you think so! What resonated with you the most about the things she mentioned?
We love you, Christine. ♥🙏
Thank you.
wow! thank you. your story resonates with millions of women…me included. ❤
You are so welcome
If my late Husband was around i would still be living with him even if treated with disrespect..Now doing my postmortem i realize i was in an abusive relationship
Thank you for sharing your story. It's a reminder that sometimes love and respect don't always go hand in hand.
Marriage is a gift from God.and it's a precious thing.but if it's start going wrong,u will regret your existance, especially if kids are involved.u can try it best but if u partner is not into it,nothing will work.and forcing can cause heart attacks.brain damage....I like the way she always thought about kids...thanks for healing today u can talk about it ,as if it's some ones story...healing a long processes...oohh..God..thanks jagero we appreciate it efforts...from zambia
You're right, marriage can be a beautiful thing, but it's definitely hard work. It's great that you admire Christine’s strength in talking about her experience, especially for the sake of the kids. Healing is a long process, and we appreciate your support!
😊I like that story of how they met.... 😆 Lol. Eii Jagero ati "you are still biscuity and brittle"😂.
Christine is very intelligent and as much as this was difficult,I think she has done well for herself esp. coming-off with her head held high.
Christine is amazing, isn't she? It's inspiring to see her overcome challenges.
Meaningful Conversations worth to listen to
Thank you!
Ooh this lady is fluent as well as smart
Wooow! Christine, now you are a teacher.
She is quite resourceful.
You don't care who call
You don't borrow money
You don't ask him to take you somewhere
It's called psychologically divorced
Haha, that's one way to look at it! But seriously, healthy communication and independence are key in any relationship. Who knows, maybe we should not really rely on mind-reading?
Love the platform and hosting … very nuanced
Just stumbled across this video/presenter,am not married but the video has been quite enlightening,looking forward to hearing more from you
That's awesome that you found the video enlightening even though you're not married. The advice can often apply to different types of relationships as well. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss future videos!
Podcasts are more of a therapy session 😊
Thanks alot for this. I am glad it is for you.
You can say that again.
Learnt alot through podcasts
Thank you Christine for sharing. You have enlightened many.
You are so welcome
I went through that exactly but to me it's 30 years of that toxic relationship I could not pull out of that marriage until my children helped me to get out but still I only relocated I don't know if I'm out of that marriage
Thank you for sharing your story. Leaving a long-term relationship can be a confusing process, even after the physical separation. There's no right or wrong way to feel, and it's okay if it takes time.
I love these discussions and you're doing a great job with your guests.
Thank you 😊
I think Christine was our head girl at Naivasha Girls, hope I am not mistaken. She is such an inspiration!
😍😍😍
I was 😊
That's my daughter's school
I had always thought that, The "I hate divorce phrase from God does not mean a spouse can not leave the marriage because the scripture also talks of a woman departing from her husband, and also about an unbelieving spouse free to leave the marriage if they so want.
I am also fully persuaded that a mental health check is necessary to those who abuse their spouses, just as those who abuse children or others, it is not normal. .
Be careful not to marry spirits in human bodies too. 😂😂😂
The Bible can be tricky to navigate at times, but you're right, there are definitely verses that speak to separation within marriage.
On the mental health check, I couldn't agree more. Abuse is never okay, and getting help is crucial.
Be careful not to marry spirits in human bodies too!
That last line cracked me up! On a serious note, though, having a strong foundation before marriage is key.
What are some ways you think people can prepare themselves for a healthy marriage?
Marrying a demon.
@@TheJagero if one is a believer, please under go deliverance from your roots and foundations. I am a testimony. A spirit that transformed itself to be in the likeness of my spouse tormented me in my dreams,
In the dream these personality appearing as my spouse will beat me, drag me in the streets, stab me with knifes and rape me in public ).
Every time in the dream the spirit will be coming from my place of birth, on my fathers side.
At times out of my great grandmas house and from my fathers house.
I asked myself why, why will my spouse be seen in houses of my own biological family, until one day I fought with it in the dream and i was telling it, ‘u are not my husband, when a veil of a mask fell from its face during the fight, I saw a face of a man I don’t know and a man I would not want to know, bloody red eyed demon, the eyes so bloody red like they will ooze blood out).
I called my elder sister to enguire and she said our family had a witch doctor who was helping all family members .
Long story short, as a Christian I had refused to have the witch doctor to be called to my marriage.
But I did not renounce or break from the covenant for I was naive and ignorant.
IT WAS A LEGAL CAUSE- I was a legal captive.
The spirit had family foundational authority to persue me.
What events took place in my home and life is another story to tell.
I did self deliverance prayers after listening to Deliverance sermons on UA-cam.
If not a believer, or not believing in deliverance ....😎...... maybe see psychologists because life is spiritual
The civil minded ones tend to lose the most...just saying from some experience...her approach was the right way, eventually being the more mature one
While sometimes taking the high road can be tough, it definitely has its rewards in the long run.
Speaking to understand each other is the Holy Grail of relationships. And you can not understand your partner if you do not understand yourself. To what degree one partner, say the man, to the degree that he understands himself to Thant degree he can articulately explain things in a way that she would at the overly least see where he is coming from. Communication is the uninterrupted flow of Love to and from love . For we are Each Love trying to remember its self
I can totally relate. Women detach then pretend all is well before our friends and family. we always hide from the truth only to hurt ourselves even more
A toxic marriage is TOXIC for all parties including the children. Why die emotionally and even worse physically from relational toxicity??
You ain't wrong! Toxic marriages are the WORST for everyone involved. Kids soak up that drama like a sponge! But hey, on a brighter note, at least we're out here talking about it.
Thank you for sharing blessed by your experiential
Thanks for watching!
Mhm so educational, this will help me go on with my life. I m separated "indefinitely " since we not going to divorce because of our "culture " SO DIFFICULT
I hear you, and it sounds like you're in a really tough situation. While the video may not directly address separation, hopefully, there are some takeaways that can be applied to any difficult life experience. If you'd like to talk more, feel free to reach out in a private message.
@TheJagero it's OK, I ve learnt to live with it.
Thank you, Jagero. Your shows are so enlightening
I'm so glad you find the shows enlightening. That makes creating them all the more rewarding.
People who have not been in your position may be too quick to judge. But I won't judge you as I've been in your position but slightly worse. My ex-hubby was not even trying to find a job. The worst bit is that he also brought 3 teen kids for me to take care of. I was even in a position where I only had 1 meal per day trying to afford my 2 small kids. I was also diagnosed with severe depression. Financial abuse is real!
I can't imagine dealing with all that on top of depression. You're incredibly strong for getting through it. I'm glad you're in a better place now. Financial abuse is definitely real, and I'm so happy we can talk openly about it.
@@TheJagerofinancial abuse is worse than cheating believe me. A man better cheat on you than drain you financially
I enjoyed this conversation... you allowed the guest to tell her story.
I'm glad you liked the format! We have more great guests lined up who have amazing stories to share. Stay tuned!
God hates divorce but God does not hate divorcees. Narcissists will use the'God hates divorce ' to keep controlling you and to let you stay where you are suffering.
Exactly. People are dying in toxic marriages because of such misused statements.
God's love extends to everyone, no matter their circumstances. It can be really tough when someone uses religion to manipulate a situation. Remember, you have the strength to make your own choices about what's best for your happiness and well-being.
I went through the same story like her...i gave my marriage all because i wanted to work.. at some point I was tired and I had to call it a quit so that i can be happy...i decided to start all over again in my life...
I am happy that i got the strength to walk away...
The relatives didn't bother even to look for me.. but i believe rejection is preservation...
I can't imagine how hard it must have been. It takes a lot of courage to leave a situation, even when it's unhappy. "Rejection is preservation" - that's such a wise saying.
We’re sorry that sometimes Christ is not so well represented by the Christian. May the love of Christ be renewed in Christine to refresh her soul and her children
Christians can sometimes fall short. I appreciate the sentiment, and I hope we can all strive to better represent the love of Christ.
@@TheJageroTrue
Amen 🙏🙏
Jagero I have watched till end and I have learned something important the devorvce journey is the same in all aspects I a gree with the lady
I'm glad you found the video informative. The core aspects of divorce can be similar across situations, but there can also be unique challenges depending on the specifics. Did the video touch on anything you particularly connected with?
Wow! I have learnt one or two things from this conversation 🙏
Glad it was helpful!
Iam i a toxic marriage and my husband has refused to divorce because he believes marriage's for life no matter what challenges. It's about misuse of money and not having a stable job for a decade. This man sold all pepperties we had,he invested money with colleagues &has always lost it. We have 3 kids of which i take full responsibility as a parent. He can't meet the basic needs of a home. I hate this man for what he's done&doing to the kids want out! Please advise.
Why not walk out to save your self
I don't believe that as an adult, someone can hold you against your will. You are not his slave. You can plan & leave whenever you are ready. Leave, separate first. Divorce can always come years later after separation.
Financial strain and a lack of job stability can definitely take a toll on a marriage. Having to take on the full responsibility for the kids on top of that must be incredibly stressful.
You have to think of the negative effects on your health and the negative effects on the children. You can physically separate for a while. Plan your future.
Ask yourself questions.
@batabairerobbie844 this should be a personal decision and the day enough will be enough you will not seek social media opinions
Communicating is you listen to me,when I share my day and when I ask that you do something for the family
That's a great point! Listening goes beyond just hearing the words. It's about understanding the emotions behind them too.
Amazing story by this lovely and charismatic lady.The society never gives men a platform to share their side of story.The society has a way of showing empathy to the ladies and zero mercy to the gentlemen who also have alot to loose in divorce
100% very rare for a married man to ask for divorce citing unhappiness. there is more to this story, we need to get the mans side too
Men shout loudest in bars, at football events etc. Give them a platform to emotionally open up about their true lives and they will run around with no one will understand, it’s a woman thing etc.
If men stopped blaming society and walked their journeys, society would be great enough to listen.
Has O’dur stopped any man from speaking up?
Thanks for watching and for your comment. You're absolutely right, this story is a powerful example of needing to hear all sides. Society is definitely getting better at balanced perspectives, but there's always room for improvement.
Men won’t communicate with their wife so you know they will not get on social media telling their story. They will tell their flying monkeys. When he asked for a divorce he was trying to discard her as narcissistic people do. But she did a reverse discard. She now has a very good outlook on what happened. “It was good but now it’s not “.
You are writing my own script..
What kind of script are you living on?
I relate with her story so much.
Wow, that's so powerful! I'm glad the video resonated with you. Sharing stories like hers is why we make these videos.
How can I get a copy of wakili's book?
Christine, you are a beautiful soul... We don't leave God because he hates divorce. We embrace him cause he understands our pain..
Divorce hurts everyone, including God.
Let me let you know that the Lord Jesus Christ still loves you always regardless.
There's a call on your life to come back to Christ... He will heal you.
And you will help those lost, even in the church, understand God's take on divorce, which few really understand.
No one really teaches these things clearly that's why it's hard & hurtful.
God's word is true & eternal.
You need his covering in your life into your unknown as well.
His arms are still stretched out to receive you.
You were with lost 'churchgoers'. Who couldn't help you both.
Keep well, girl. Father is waiting for you❤.
You are a beautiful soul. Not judgemental, but loving. I know a lot of people who stop going to church or change their religion because of people saying God doesn't like divorce and make them feel guilty. They forget that God is loving, a father who understands his children's pain and suffering.
May God embrace you with loving arms full of warmth.
He is faithful God and our refuge
Absolutely, God's arms are always open, and finding a supportive community is key. Keep in mind, that community can extend beyond traditional church structures too.
Powerful message this really helps great insight
Thanks. Glad it was helpful.
Amazing Chritine. I have learnt alot. I once went through that although am healed and moved on. But still not yet re marred. I am still learning from alot of mistakes and from other testimonies like yours. But go back to chrianity please. Learn the bible by your self with help of the Holy spirit. Independent thinking and learning.
Hi Mbabazi,
Thanks so much for sharing your story, Christine's journey was definitely powerful. It's amazing how you've been able to heal and move forward after your experience.
On the topic of remarriage, that's a very personal decision, and we completely support you wherever you are on that path.
It's fantastic that you're actively learning from your mistakes and finding inspiration from others' experiences. That's a great way for personal growth.
As for your faith, that's also a personal choice. Whether you choose to explore Christianity again or continue on your own spiritual path, the important thing is finding what brings you peace and purpose.
Was in Kilimani primary school until 1999
Kilimani Primary in '99? Kilimani Primary in '99?
I was 1996🎉
I'm right there about to separate I have no feelings for him the man I loved so much .I'm so lost 😕 Ihave no idea how to go about it but mennnn I have cried enough
Hi Eunice,
Sending you strength during this difficult time. Separations can be incredibly hard, even when you know it's the right decision. It's completely normal to feel lost and confused.
Courage to leave is what we never have .. I left after a struggle but am ok now. May u gather enough courage to leave
Am I detaching? I never wait till for him to come home, I never bother ask his whereabouts.
Sometimes, our relationships go through changes. Taking some time for self-reflection can help you understand your feelings better. Would you like to explore some potential reasons for feeling detached?
@@TheJagero am fully aware of the reasons behind the feeling
To this beautiful lady, I want to remind her that God hates divorce, but he does not hate divorce people, I encourage her to recomit her life to God again, . She will experience love like no other
Thank you for your kind words. It's a personal topic, but I appreciate your message.
Woman is divorce alone God hate God hate all kind of sin but we are still doing them so why stay in a abusive mallthis is a bigb
@@TheJagerothis is one of the biggest and blind excuse for these women to stay in a abusive married saying God hate divorce bir there are so many things God hate that we still doing
Yeah it's true a woman can build or destroy a home with her own hands more over we are human prone to do mistakes but us individuals we have power to choose right from wrong our God gave us that power that's why we were made in his image and likeness more over we have intuitions to guide us, we have minds to think deeply and our God never fails it's just that sometimes we are ignorant not curious to know more ,educate ourselves more, do research we shouldn't blame religion honestly we can't rely everything spiritually sometimes it's just being open minded and again about religion in this era we are more informed come on so if you feel like a certain pastor or a certain church is demeaning you just do better but don't say I left God because God listens and our God doesn't compromise suffering to anyone so let's do better, let's learn new things and so on
They don't want to be told and they also don't give direction,then what is she expected to do
A quagmire 😢
Sometimes people might not realize they're giving mixed signals, but you're right, it can be frustrating. Maybe she can try asking some open-ended questions to draw out their desires?
You are asking really good questions
Thank you.
It is quite common these days. I bet people are overwhelmed with issues and life challenges. In return they over expect alot from their spouses without verbalise n register continously resentment that culminates into a divorce.
Do you think social media also plays a role in high expectations for relationships?
From what i have picked, money and finances was at the centre of their problems and eventual divorce. Period.
Money can definitely be a stressor in relationships, but there could be other factors at play in this situation too. Did anything else stand out to you in the video?
Please, how can I get the book. " Conscious Uncoupling"
Order here: www.coach-christinemuthoni.com
or Nuria Bookstore in CBD Nairobi.
True,it's hard to go out.By the way it takes God himself
You got that right! But fear not, in my next video I'm tackling some hacks for conquering those "stay at home" vibes. Stay tuned!
Exactly my story i conquer with christine
Wow, that's amazing to hear! It sounds like you and Christine are a powerful team. Would you be up for sharing a bit more about your story in the comments or DM? I'd love to hear how you conquer it.
Hey what a story, christine u taking gud care of yoself though gud luck god wil b with u all the way
Hey thanks! Self-care is definitely key. Good vibes your way too!
Thank you so much for the information
So nice of you
I love her she's authentic but unfortunately the end about her on leaving God it's so sad at first she clearly said the marriage thing was not in her hence she ends tolerating the marriage then the outcome it's doesn't work out which was bound to happen then she goes to church for advise come on Christine I understand but sometimes if it's draining seek a professional that's again the problem in the millennial error but now there are professionals to guide us books to enlighten it's unfortunate she gave out her power of declaring God in her life because of marriage that even did not serve her right please please honestly God has nothing to do with that let's not contradict the word of God and again some matters can't be solved spiritually,not all even God gave power learn to say No that's the beauty of life and God will understand provided we do things purely ,out of love ,kindness,self love and not pleasing others nice time
Sibuor Jagero thank you for all your pieces.
They are very helpful.
Your beard looks great
No problem 👍
Christina this is ma story I think you open my eye's
How are you doing now?
I got you my dear. If you know, you know
Thank you
Detachment,
-not asking where you are
Why you have come late
Where you were all that time
Don't care whether they eat or not
Detachment can be a powerful tool. But there's a balance, right?
I know what’s going on.
Concerning a hard working and successful partner : the truth is when anyone does that, be it man or woman they are drained and exhausted. The only difference is men are praised and honored by their wives, while wives are nothing-ed by their husbands 🤷🏽
It's true that anyone who works hard can get exhausted. Ideally, a successful partnership involves mutual support and appreciation, regardless of gender.
When religious rules overshadow who God is... Then a woman, women... And men are put to task when they choose their mental, physical and emotional over oppressive religious rules.
I am so sorry in whatever capacity for the erroneous way in which this thing bout God hating divorce among many other erroneous teachings that trap people in horrible situations. I am so so sorry fornthe stigma and church related madness. May God reveal himself as he really is when you are ready. ❤
That is true. A lot people has gone from church or religion because of this madness. Putting God as a punisher or hater for divorce rather than a father who understands his children's pain and suffering.
You bring up a really important point about the true message of God getting overshadowed by interpretations. It's definitely something worth discussing.
From her story i can deduce that the marriage was not working because they both started from wrong foundation, they also do not have mentors to help them correct wrong believes and mindset about marriage. My candid opinion is that the marriage would have worked if they had this in place.
Strong communication and shared values are definitely important for a successful marriage. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Strong communication and shared values are definitely important for a successful marriage. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!