Male-Centric Sex vs. the Female Sexual Response Cycle - Episode 194
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
- Links to things mentioned:
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Our book The Great Sex Rescue, plus our two books that look into the sexual response cycle in detail: The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex.
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Emerson Eggerichs: His podcast where the clips were taken from, plus the podcast where we analyzed his advice to the woman crying the shower; the post where we went into this in detail; and the podcast featuring the woman who wrote in to Eggerichs.
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Dr. Laura Robinson's critiques of Beautiful Union. Here's Part 6 with links to everything (so go here, but then start at post 1 that is linked at the top and work your way through). In this podcast we focused on parts 3 and 4.
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My original Twitter thread about the visceral reaction that women have to sex advice.
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An article earlier this week about how pastors aren't necessarily the experts; lots of links to other well thought out critiques of Beautiful Union by Joshua Butler.
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😂😂 "You need to _not_ make eye contact me when you're talking to me about this" 😂😂😂
Oh, Emerson 🤦🏻♀️ You are so off the mark. Good grief. When my husband talk about sex, when we cuddle and share our feelings, when I'm emotional and share with him, all these things turn us on. NOT vacuuming! 😂😂😂
Hint: reading the great sex rescue together is a wonderful turn on!!! Thanks Sheila and team!!!❤
Rebekah’s (Rebecca’s) reaction to the book quotes is all of us and I’m here for it. 🤣🤣
Thank you girls. You've helped me so much. I've felt such shame as a Christian, like "don't ever think about sex".. so how can a person just " flick" the switch after marriage? I couldn't, but now I'm unlearning all that bull, I'm much happier!
When I heard what was written, my thought was that so men were getting push back on wives not enjoying sex being wrong the next step was to write something that would make them see it was their spiritual duty to enjoy it. It was just a rewording of the same ole same ole. My husbands first response to it when he heard it was "this sounds like the old fertility cults."
Rebecca's brilliant point about how things are more "rational" versus "visceral" when they affect other people instead of yourself has really strong echoes to me about "debates" about "the trans question".
🤯 YES!!! Going for the "zone" before you're warmed up!!! Ghaaaaahhhh! Not good!
Yes, waiting a while, dancing around the zones for a while helps a lot! If only guys knew that this dance while make her crazy and help _bring her_ to orgasm, which in turn, helps her enjoy sex which helps her *want sex.* I think the lack of info, for men & women, has really hurt sex overall. No wonder women have really disliked sex for so long 😢 This doesn't have to be!
I am ordering both books for my niece and her soon to be fiancé. They are believers and they openly talk about sex (carefully) and my gift to them is what I wish I had had back in College years. I had no idea. I had all the bad teachings in my head. Like ya gotta lay there and let the man do stuff to you 😢 and that speaking up about my needs/desires was equal to being a "bad girl".
Thanks ladies!!!! Bless you!!!
OK… “women prefer to be romanced toward the bedroom…”?? Well, what about just being LOVED … IN the bedroom? (And all the way there? And before that?) Do the words “MAKING LOVE” mean nothing to these people?
But making love is exactly what they're talking about. Read their books. Maybe hearing it out loud is not for you.
They've trained us to be "prudes" then shame us to not turn into Lola falana as soon as the marriage license is signed😂😂
THIS!!!!
Lola Falana was a class act. Put respect on her name.
Now if you'd said "Madonna" that would've been different........
Oh no … Emerson the Clueless again? 😂😂
Is it really that shocking to men to think that their wives enjoying sex would 1) make sex better for him 2) make his wife want sex more. This isn't a difficult concept, in my opinion. Is it just pure selfishness? Is it women pretending so that their husband doesn't even realize they aren't enjoying it? If you're having sex with someone that is enjoying it, it's likely to be better for you, too. God wants men and women to enjoy sex and not be basically using the other person's body to please yourself. I mean, am I right, or am I right. Porn and lust really interfere with this because it trains the brain to see others as objects to be used instead of being a worthy individual made in the image of God. You can retrain your brain, and it is worth it.
Exactly😇😍❤
They're frightened that their wife might enjoy it even more with someone else......
Thank you for your work and this podcast!!👏👏
I incredibly enjoyed this podcast! Loved it! So fun!
READING A BOOK AND PRAYING TOGETHER??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Well dang! I’d better try those🤪😂
Oddly enough, Ruslan KD was just talking about how Christian guys need to “cool their jets” on the honeymoon and stop expecting great s*x off the bat.
He was a mix of “so close and yet so far”. I’d summarize his approach as that he’s rejected the attitude of entitlement and exhorting Christian men to do the same (yay!) but still terribly ignorant about the female s*xual arousal cycle and that first experiences don’t have to be painful for the woman if they both know enough about the process.
He’s been so focused on trying to work through these topics on his platform in the right way for long enough that it would be awesome if we could get you collaborating in some way.
He’s horrible actually and fails at these topics
@@chocolateprincess2656 I’ve seen openness and teachability in his attitude, and I’ve always thought discourse was a good thing to nudge people along. Have you seen his engagements with Julie Roys?
@rivendells_shona no buy I will check it out. What I did see I didn't like. The only video I saw of his worth his salt was when he's calling out manosphere, but have not liked his takes on woman security etc
@@chocolateprincess2656 I don’t like everything he says by any stretch. But it’s been interesting to watch his evolution, and it all started with him siding with Julie Roys against John MacArthur, oddly enough.
It’s kind of like … people have been critical of Jinger Duggar for not taking a hard enough stance against her folks, and then were shocked when she recently hard-contradicted her mom’s teachings on being “joyfully available” in her interview with Mayim Balik. Some people take longer in their evolution. I’m not saying with absolute certainty Ruslan will ultimately land where we want them, but I’m not above nudging people along.
From what I've seen, Ruslan is very much a narcissist much like Mike Winger and uses the Bible for his own selfish purposes. Conservative churches attract and also create this type of man.
It's not odd it's wonderful that a mother and daughter can talk freely about sex. A mother is supposed to be someone you love and trust. Who else to ask about such intimate, precious, fragile, loving but potentially harmful issues when there's so much misinformation around from both purity culture and porn? Thank God for a mother like Sheila. Wish mine had been like her.
Aside: just got to Rebekah’s commentary on secular sources on s*x advice-I’d noticed the same thing. The best articles on female arousal were on sites like Men’s Health. Not even Women’s Health! That was my first “aha” moment that “secular” men were more clued in and genuinely interested in female pleasure. Did it come from a selfish place? Probably, at least in part (the aforementioned “bragging”). But still …
Sadly, secular men tend to be more respectful of women.
@@Himmiefan Well, somebody had to start. But Sheila and Rebecca and their husbands are sure leading the way and it's wonderful.
you guys are just the best, thank you
Also, just biologically, can anyone explain why for Butler giving the sperm is like giving him his essence? But like, the woman's egg coming to meet the sperm is like, not... giving, her essence? Also, how does the period fit into this analogy? Does the woman not contribute to fertilisation? Also, is he only "giving" when they actually conceive? Just... I mean... maybe if you go with like Aristotle's biology, but... we, like, know better...? for like hundreds of years?
@@OOool Well, thankfully it's not nearly that complicated. Two people who love each other and want to express their love physically in an intimate way...I'll let Sheila and Rebecca tell you the rest. They are so articulate.
@@OOool Read their books and read Ian Kerner's "She Comes First". Good luck and good love
When St Paul was caught up into the third heaven he experienced things that either he was forbidden to speak of or was unable to speak of. Maybe Josh Butler is speaking about truths that are simply impossible to speak about no matter how hard you try. In other words his attempt to describe them were doomed from the start.
That’s one way of looking at it. Gracefully. 😉
Im sorry but is she supposed to keep his "presence" in a jar to visit it later?
I really, really love this podcast! And while I agree with Rebecca’s points (especially about Butler’s book and it’s ickiness), I do find myself skipping past her because of the yelling. 😂
Perhaps reading "She Deserves Better" would be easier for you to take in. Me, I appreciate her passion; but if you're not used to it, maybe reading it will be better for you to take in the information because the information is what is important. Good luck and good love
Delete all questions
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You ladies are ruining things for us selfish husbands! UA-cam ... are you listening? Take this video down now! Make it stop! Make it stop!
Lololol
Evidently, God isn't as over sexualized as these authors! OO.o. some of their comments are so gross!!
God created everything about us; including our sexuality. The safest place to learn about our God-given sexuality is from Christ-centered, Christ-following authors who are willing to teach others. Thank you for teaching us, ladies.
Information is good. Very useful. But the daughter is incredibly loud and has a sort of disruptive, immature communication style.
She is allowed to be passionate about what she is talking about outwardly. There is nothing immature about it.
I dont know....the first guy, I feel, was a bit misinterpreted.
I feel like he was basically just saying the first stage of arousal. Then after, you can go fornthe rest of the steps y'all were mentioning
I was listening to a different podcast, the "Amen" Podcast, a man and his lovely wife, talk about what I thought was biblical / life things, and in one of their episodes, the man compared / conflated baptism to being with his wife in a sexual sense .... I thought they had at least some great or helpful things to say prior to hearing that, .... I had saved so many of their video podcasts on playlists .... Drat.
That was so wrong and so bizarre.😯😬😳😳😖😲🤯😱😮😮😢😕😣😩😫😣😖😞🙄😤☹️😓🤕😵Sheesh.