Doctor Reacts To The Most Bizarre Onion Medical Headlines
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- Опубліковано 7 лис 2020
- I had so much fun reacting to medical headlines from The Onion 6 months ago, so I decided to do it again! Beyoncé getting a surgery to look like her character from The Lion King, Rob Gronkowski playing as a bionic man, being truthful with your OBGYN, treatments for cancer and Alzheimers… The Onion truly holds nothing back. Remember, The Onion is a SATIRICAL newspaper, meaning none of this is real.
I LOVE reading your comments and take your suggestions seriously. If there’s a subject you want me to discuss or something you’d like for me to react to, leave a comment down below. Many of my videos have been born out of suggestions directly from you, so don’t hold back!
-Doctor Mike Varshavski
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** The information in this video is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information, contained in this video is for general information purposes only and does not replace a consultation with your own doctor/health professional **
“I am an auditory listener” wow that is so unexpected...
this deserves more likes
Did you even listen to what he said. He said he can do things while listening to audio books 🤦😂
why is that a suprise
@@coffeeaddict2122 he said auditory listener, because you can't be any other listener. he meant auditory learner
@@arielnicole3412 lmao im aware of that.. im trying to explain this video to the "visual listeners" 😂 i literally just quoted him mike.
You can't be sued for impersonating a doctor if your name tag never said you were a doctor.
#bigbrain
5Head
Galaxy brain
@@lanternli1ac
Universe Brain
@@Poatatero muilt dimensional brain
Duuude
As a vegan with a standing desk, I can confirm that I forgot the question.
Okay but we talk to the doctor about being vegan because we wanna see if we're healthy. Why is he acting like we just bring it up for fun???
@@claralowe5160 I believe it’s a long running cultural meme, an offshoot of the extremely overused “how do you know if someone’s vegan? Don’t worry They’ll tell you”. In honesty I don’t think Dr. Mike would be against it, but given the funny nature of the video jokes will be made.
That being said, it’s a boring played out joke. I hope people start coming up with jokes that are at least interesting for us vegans.
He was sharing his experiences.
Lol
@@TheFinalMB I don't think the jokes are meant to be funny for vegans.
“You will still eventually die”
Oh man, I feel cheated, I thought a standing desk would make me immortal.
You're mixing up standing desks with essential oils
You're mixing it up with bear licking you
bear is too powerful
Time to return it 😤
"You'll still eventually die"
"yeah, that's true"
oh...
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html
GAGAGAGAGAGA! I will now count to 3 and then I am still the unprettiest UA-camr of all time. 1...2...3. GAGAGAGAGAGA!!! Btw I have TWO very HOT GIRLfriends who I show off in my v*deos. Thank you for your attention, dear piet
@@AxxLAfriku Why do you have to self promote _everywhere?_
I look at you comment it's on 51 likes, I open the replys and the likes suddenly changes to 77 likes.
😐😑😐😦
@@N_IRL ikr let's all report it for spam and unwanted commercial
Anyone else notice he said he's an "auditory listener" when talking about audio books? Honey, we're all auditory listeners I think you mean learner 😂
Dunno what the hell you're talking about, I listen with my feet.
Dunno what the hell your talking about. I listen with my knee caps
I was literally just going to say this
👌searched for this comment
@M 40 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
“There is commitment to acting, and then there is becoming a real lion, and between that there is a medical line that should not be crossed”
Dr Mike just described “Cats” 2019
Oof
Oof
I just reached this comment when he said this
I was thinking the exact same thing.
That was also a line the SFX team should have refused to cross. But this is the same director who refused Hugh Jackman water and food for 36 hours so that he'd be "more realistic" for Les Mis.
“You’ll still eventually die”
“Yeah that’s true”
😂
Dr. Mike: "I'm an auditory listener"
Me who listens with my nose 🙄
AHAHAHAH
He meant auditory learner. :P
*Me whose very existence transcends the human understanding of space and time and listens through my left big toe*
I'm more of a visual watcher.
🕷️: I listen with my legs. (But I'm not sure that sentence alone leads to the ears, if auditory just comes from hearing) ok, i guess i did not understand your comment
How come they have disposable stethoscopes 🤔 I didn’t know they throw them away
If that patient has a specific infection like C.diff we try not to use that stethoscope for anyone else to limit the spread of the infection.
because normal ones costs so much moneyyyy
@@DoctorMike Happy early bday dr mike lol :)
@@DoctorMike now that makes sense :D
Same
Aspirin is a brand name as well. You know, kind of like how Kleenex or Band-Aid are brand names. Acetylsalicylic Acid (ASA) is the medication's name.
Apparently so is weed whacker. Has nothing to do with medicine...but its interesting...
@@polycatmagic1236 It's also interesting that "Weed Whacker" and "Weed Eater" (while both brand names) do not technically even refer to the same utensil... Even though they're both used almost interchangeably today... and (only slightly more disturbing) both utensils actually DO still exist.
Dubiously on the medicine front, Acetylsalicylic Acid was originally derived from Salicae from the willow family of trees... BUT laboratories have since discovered and refine the process so that it's cheaper and quicker to derive from menthol oil available in more plentiful quantities from several species of the Mint family of plants today... ;o)
"Why is there a laser pointer?"
"For khajiit patients that don't get enough exercise, duh"
I'm furious this doesn't have more likes. This is flawless. 😻
*YES!*
When your patients are part- or full-cat
This seems like a great way to start my morning.
Yess
Yes
This seems like a great way to start my night*
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html face mask issues ..watch this
Seems like a good way to end the night haha for me.
What if Pamela reacted to the onion headlines without her knowing that these are from the onion, while doctor mike reads them with his most serious tone-
ThAt WiLl Be GrEaT🔥🔥
Oh my gosh, this would be hilarious!
amazing idea.
In nursing school, they taught us to ask patients "what is your understanding of your illness/condition/etc?" which seems somewhat similar to your question about what they're theory is.
"I can't believe people take Onion headlines seriously." Proceeds to get really worked up about Onion comments.
Your bee whoop sounded like a bark! 🐶🤣
Plot twist: IT WAS A VOICEOVER BY BEAR!
@@joannamysluk8623 💀🤣🤣 Of course it was! 🤦🏻♀️ what was I thinking? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Still waiting for the shirt having "CHEST COMPRESSIONS" written on it.
@John patrick White um nope the website ur talking about is prolly fake he has never announced his merch
OMG 😳
Me too
ME TOO
@@Qorbianlovesnuggets ikr... He's weird
Dr Mike: it's satirical, we as humans should laugh more.
Also Dr Mike: getting worked up explaining
Lol
Why
Why
Why are
Why are
Why are you here ❓❓
Mike: “When I’m driving to the hospital”
Me: Oh no what happened!
Me a minute later: Oh wait-
To be fair, I’ve never heard a doctor say “I’m going to the hospital” to describe going to work.
Kinda like me and my job. I work at a preschool, so a lot of times I say "When I get to school" meaning my workplace, not a place I actually attend classes LOL.
Dr Mike: “...Encourages more natural spine curvature...”
Me who already has severe scoliosis: :0
Yup, same with me along with other back issues. I have terrible posture, and I know it, but standing completely straight is actually painful on my back. I also don't sit in chairs without backs or with the kind with holes if I can help it. And when I'm working at home I split my time between the desk and laying on my bed working.
Oh my god that must be painful sorry to hear that..hope you are staying healthy
@@dragonofmordor omg that sounds painful and sad..I feel sorry for you..hope you are staying healthy
@@priyushavallabhaneni8654 Sometimes yes, but I've learned to manage. I know what workout stuff I can do safely for my back (although it is harder right now with COVID because swimming used to be my go-to).
Sway back, back pain caused by a car accident and deformed hips here. Standing tit long periods for me is just as bad as sitting for long periods. The thing that alleviates the pain for me is to move. I work from a laptop and I migrate from room to room sitting in various positions. If I do that, it doesn't hurt. Only hurts if I stay immobile. Personally think standing desks are a dumb fad
Died when he said:
“You can’t catch me, you can’t catch me.” 😂😂😂
Same😂😂😂😂😂😂
I love how he pointed out “window defroster” as a career, but none of the other nonsensical ones.
Or the unemployed guy talking about injecting things.
or the orca washer
@@cutie.carino15 or Turing tester
@@techpriestsalok8119 yeah
Running a marathon with doctor mike be like “you can’t catch me, you can’t catch me” 6:39
"I'm an auditory listener"
Well, I for one listen with my eyes.
I laughed out loud at this thank you😂😂😂
Osmosis is the best way to learn.
Well studies show that we listen through skin. Idk how much truth is in that reasearch.
@@henrytawnn8694 but would it not diffuse out at some point? (Unless the transporter molecules are somewhat unidireccional for that learning stuff)
I actually pay better attention to information if I can read it through texts, captions, written information, etc. If I'm just listening to a lesson or story, then I'm way more likely to space out. I pay attention better if people write things out for me.
I want to make “peewoop” my text tone😂😂❤️
p
e
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html
e
w
2:20 Mike is such a unique individual. He's an auditory listener, unlike most people who don't listen through audio
I feel like an important difference needs to be highlighted: Generic medications are CHEMICHALLY identical.
I was on Concerta for my ADHD in my first few years of University. In my third year I started REALLY struggling and falling behind and failed two classes. I found out just a few years ago after I switched away from Concerta to try something else that gave me mood swings and wasn't working, that apparently pharmacies will just switch you to the generic with out your consent unless specified by your doctor. Only problem with the generic Concerta is that it is NOT time release like the brand name is. So what happened was the generic would dump all my medication into my system, it would work but be run out of my system by the time I got to my later classes. I am now back on Concerta and my GP has assured me that she will ALWAYS put no subs on my Concerta prescriptions.
Too bad my failure in my third year university led to a whole bunch of self-esteem issues by making me feel like a I was a moron. >:(
Truth. Our daughter has epilepsy and takes antiseizure medications. One of her medications tends to be on the shortages list, so they were giving us whatever generic they could get. Turns out that due to differences in the other ingredients, she absorbed/metabolized them a different rates - one brand would make her blood levels be sky-high, and the next it would crash even when they were the same dosage. It was resulting in break-through seizures! So we had to pick one brand and tweek the dosage and then have doc write a NO SUBSTITUTIONS order for it.
I’ve said this before but I’d like to see a “Day in the life with a Newfie” video like you did with Roxy
Sameee
We the public demand! Ok, politely request m o r e Bear!💜🐶🙏
Thought you meant a person from Newfoundland and was v confused ahha
Yes please
Is doctor mike alright?? His “peewop” was different.😭😭😭
i thought i was the only one
I thought so too!
I have a diagnosis! It's a bad case of peewoowoowootosis
I noticed that too! There was more intensity behind it.
If you check it in Google about that he will have cancer
“You can’t catch me, you can’t catch me” - Dr. Mike 2020
Would it be a Borat reference?
@@leonardoledesma6490 maybe?
Except in Miami...
“You can’t catch me. You can’t catch me.” This absolutely killed me 🤣 5:54
One of my friends used the onion once for her essay and my teacher had to explain that it’s all fate
OKK
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html
What did she make her essay about
Lolll
6:51 Dr. Mike: "Is a window defroster a career??"
Me: I am more concerned with the fact that the very next comment 'SATIRICALLY' came from an electroshock therapist and you chose to question window defroster... 😂😂
Don't forget about the orca washer! That was my favorite :D
@@Karla-hs7jv I missed that, thank you for pointing that out! Absolutely brilliant :D (7:20)
electroshock therapists are a real thing though, and despite the bad reputation they get, actually are beneficial to some people!
@@myheartismadeofstars Yes! I'm a psychology major and Electroconvulsive Therapy is not as violent and torturous as it was in the 60s (and before that); the "shocks" that patients receive are at such a low frequency that they don't even really feel anything. This is mainly used to stimulate regions in the brain that cause specific symptoms to occur. Dodie Clark even talked about trying this treatment for her Derealization/Depersonalization Disorder. ECT has been effective in some people with severe psychotic symptoms, extreme dissociation, or even major depressive ones.
@@bigtimefans100 I recommend asking: do people remember after ECT? Which memories are lost? Are they able to drive? A family member by marriage said she received ECT in the 2000s and it seemed the depression improved because she was so disoriented after treatment. Last diagnosis was DID so in the dissociative family.
Props to you Doc Mike! Grew up with the onion as a paper newspaper delivered all over Wisconsin, and appreciate anyone with a platform & a sense of humor also appreciating them publically.
Dr Mike: "The Onion is just a joke."
Also Dr Mike: 1:09
Doctor Mike is the light at the end of a long and dark tunnel.
@Pete Harrison why did you shared it here😂😂
"we need to laugh and smile more and not take onions seriously" I died laughing at just the beginning of the vedio
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html
You need chest compressions, chest compressions, chest compressions
tbh i tend to *cry* at onions articles
Nobody gonna talk about that person who said their career was an "orca washer"
*slowly rinses orca*
I love how you care about answering the questions patients have deep down..
And i also try to make a theory myself for what is going on with my symptoms and habits, since I started learnings illnesses and medical stuff at the university.
So i really appreciate you saying that. It makes us patients feel respected, listened and more important to you doctors.
I wish every doctor did that.
Dr. Mike: It's how i get stuff done, being an auditory listener.
Me: Isn't that how every one listens?
Listen with your eyes, youngin'.
Pocahontas also listens to colors, or something like that.
That's how you hear. Because deaf people listen even though they can't hear.
Lol, sorry if your just joking but I'm pretty sure he ment auditory learner. As in its easiest for him to learn when something is said to him. There are all different types of learners, really.
Deaf people: *Guess I'll just go f*ck myself then...*
‘Dr. Fauchi is that good that he could totally be a hallucination...’
Dr. Mike is probably one of his biggest fans 😂💕
The Onion - "You'll still eventually die"
Dr. Mike - " Yeah that's true" got me LOL
The name tag is flipped so patients can't report him. The nurses in the ER by me do it every shift.
But dont you present yourself to the parients?
This is truth
dr mike saying : Anterior talofibular ligament
Me : getting flashbacks of his nephew saying delta plate 😂😂
I was about to say that. I got so exited that I knew that medical term 😂🙈
My sister legit howled when he said that🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dude same
That was deltoid ligament 😂😂
2:19 Oh you're an auditory listener? Good, cause I don't understand visual listeners
I didnt know those existed🤣😂
I'm a metaphysical listener. I hear through the power of SCP-000 patern screemer.
2:40 I swear I legit thought he had a scrunchie on his hand/wrist 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I need glasses 👓👓👓
It's a watch ⌚
@@pahanjayasooriya2513 I know 🤣
But now I want scrunchies that colour.
"We don't even connect it all the way, we usually just kinda line it up"
The most down play stupid medicine explanation and i love it.
👍The longest bone in the human body is the femur.
The largest artery is the aorta and the largest vein is the inferior vena cava.
The largest internal organ (by mass) is the liver, with an average of 1.6 kilograms (3.5 pounds).
The largest external organ, which is also the largest organ in general, is the skin
The largest nose on the human body is your navel cavity. (Nose)
Also, the best ear is the left ear
Thanks for this useful information ❤️❤️❤️
@@funkyfinn1 Bruh
Yup all of them are right..great comment..ppl who dont know can learn these nice things 😊👍🏻
2:19 Dr. Mike is an auditory listener? Now I understand why people always interrupt me when I talk: They are verbal listeners!
The whole woman trying to give as little information as possible is actually on point because one of the reasons that women get misdiagnosed more often than men is that they explain their symptoms in a 'narrative style'. So not satire, but an actual medical reality for a lot of women in this country.
dr mike: don't take these seriously
also dr mike: **takes them seriously**
He laughs at them. He knows they're not serious. How can you not see that?
@@rosiefay7283 joke
Me: oh nice a real doctor
Dr. Mike: "being an auditory listener"
Me: .... is there another type???
How do you think deaf people listen?
He probably meant auditory learner
@@msaijay1153 lol, this comment is set up perfectly so I will take the shot, here goes.......
They don't. 🎤
Obviously they use eyes to hear
I listen with my feet
2:19 I didn´t know Dr. Mike was an auditory listener. It´s a rare thing in comparison to the visual listener, that shoves their earbuds into their eyes.
a kinesthetic listener of course juggles their earbuds
😂 oh man
Lol
1:02 oh look, Mike and his imaginary friend having a conversation. How cute!
"We don't even connect it all the way. We usually kind of just line it up and let the body heal itself."
So Surgeon Simulator is not really that far off 🤣
*drops heart in chest cavity*
K we good, close up!
Dr. Mike’s laugh is infectious lmao made my morning!
Doctor Mike: Don't use my videos for procastination
Me: Has an exam tomorrow.
Me: uhh...wish me luck for my exam?
Good Luck
How did it go?
Good luck
@@sim_aware kinda fucked up the 1st paper bur 2nd was good
@@Holycryptonite47 Don't beat yourself up! #YouGotThis!
You stay happy, healthy and a relatable human! 💜😂 SO enjoy watching you! I JUST found your channel after I've been watching what I thought was ALL your videos on FB. THANK YOU BRAD MONDO! 💜 Now I've got something to binge watch that'll distract me from my constant pain. 💜
1:20 you telling me you don't carry a lazer pointer around? How do you tell patients where they're hurt?
Doctor Mike, “I’m an audible listener.”
Me watching Doctor Mike on UA-cam, “wait...am I a visual listener...?
I think Deaf people using sign language would technically be visual listeners?
4:18 the crinkle in his nose is gold!
5:15 "tis but a flesh wound"
Thank you for asking your patients their perspectives, most of the drs i speak to completely dismiss my thoughts even though I base them on proper research and sound reasoning.
Stand-up desks: ‘You’ll still eventually die’
Dr. Mike ‘yeah that’s true 🥺🥺’
Who else wanted to hug him in that particular moment 😂❤️
Sadly corona doesn't allow this :/
I want to hug him regardless 👀🤣
@@brenda.lizeth sameee 😂🙆🏼♀️
@@eliii3266 Corona sucks ☹️
@@luisa994 yeah
Dr. Mike: ‘The 2 most common conversations with patients are those who are vegan about them being vegan and those who have a stand-up desk and wanna tell me about their stand-up desk’
Just imagine the conversation with a vegan who has a stand- up desk 😂
Actually, they can communicate normally because the urge to talk about being vegan and the urge to talk about their stand-up desk cancel each other out.
@@Kartoffelkamm That makes so much sense!! 😂
Shouldn't you tell your primary care provider if you follow a specific diet? It is part of assessment and plan of care
I love you, Dr. Mike!! Your videos are the best!! Trauma nurse here and can relate to all your videos!!! Stay safe and stay healthy. Much love from indiana.
1:53 When I first heard about the concept of "forgetting how to sit" in an episode of family guy, I found it very silly. Well, meanwhile I have seen patients with dementia who actually lost the concept of sitting down.
“There’s commitment to acting, and then there’s becoming a real lion.”😂
Me: hm I wonder how that would feel after writing a killer email.
*Puts hands behind head, loud crack heard*
Me: yeah I dont write killer emails often...
Fun fact: because of it's unique release mechanism, Concerta is not the same as most generic methylphenidate options. So not quite all generics are the same as their brand name counterparts.
Thank you for making me laugh in every video you make! I am a new fan but your content is Priceless! Thank you
Doctor Mike: "...being an auditory listener..."
The comments section: "Umm, we aren't doctors, but...."
“malignant cells sitting there like: you can’t catch me! you can’t catch me!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 @RealDoctorMike that wiggle you did while saying that 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Had to stay up until 2 am to finish homework and decided to watch one UA-cam video before bed. As always, I'm not disappointed with this video! Thanks Doctor Mike! Love your videos!
I needed this today!! 😂❤️
2:57 is so cute AW
6:38 Dr. Mike's "YoU cAn'T cAtCh Me" x2 😂
3:54 "I also ask them, what is their theory."
Wonderful! This is something every doctor should do. The number of times I've walked out of an appointment feeling like I didn't get the chance to say all that needed to be said is uncountable, and I think that one question would fix that completely (and... well who knows, maybe once in a while a patient may actually teach the doctor something; in particular patients with unusual, chronic conditions sometimes end up with more understanding about their condition than most doctors would have).
Thanks for the laughs!! Love your blue watch!!
The way he said "yeah, that's true" after reading "you'll eventually die" I- ahaha
I enjoy him being such a nerd it’s so entertaining
Yesss, me too!
The work descriptions from the quotes are priceless!
I haven't checked in on The Onion in quite some time. I'm pleased to see they are still using the same pictures for the comments from "random people." :)
I love how Dr. Mike asks the patient at the end of the visit what they think it is because that helps our questions get answered, and leaves our minds satisfied. What a great doctor
When you think you're early..
But the bots have already infected the comments section..
Yes
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html watch this ..facemask issues
Yes! :)
Trueee
You should see the bots in insta, hella thirsty in everyone's accounts.
I love how he read "making" as "mocking" 😂
Honestly the most entertaining doctor ever!
No matter how many times i see it, it never stops being funny or cute when Dr. Mike mispronounces words. Sometimes he has no idea he did, and just goes on, and sometimes he tries to correct it two, three, or four times, and laughs at himself. Love it!!!
Omg the asking the patient what they think. My gp/ family doctor (not sure, not american) asked me at the end of 1 of my first visits there if i felt assured by her and if I maybe wanted something else/more. I genuinely cried. Being a mother and having seen lots of doctors and nurses in the 9 years before this happened, i never had a doctor actually ask that. I felt so seen and cared for that i couldnt help but let the tears drop.
Thank you Dr Mike, Dr Bouwer and all doctors like this!
youtube: *there are 23 comments*
me: "cool may i read them?"
youtube: "no."
me: "why?"
youtube: "0 take it or leave it."
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html
3 people ruined the 69 likes
@hufflepuff harry potter lover yeah
But 3 people did it close to the same time
I love your videos, they're amazing ❤️ Could you talk about advices for people with rare conditions? I have Ehlers Danlos syndrome and live in northern sweden, and I tell you, you have to be patient with some doctors, because it's so rare they have to look symtoms up. And honestly, most nurses, like 90% have never heard of Ehlers Danlos syndrome before.
That peewoop at the beginning sounded like my dog trying to bark when he is sick
That's kinda depressing
Dr. Mike: "Auditory listener"
Fans: "ah, yes, tell me more"
Hehehe, we forgive u lol we know what u meant to say.
I just love how literal you are. This is how I play dumb games like cards against humanity and people always figure me out because I'm just too literal.
OMG I'm an auditory listener too! I'm also a visual reader but I prefer to complete tasks kinaesthetically.
Hi Doctor Mike! I've been watching you for a while and i gotta tell you, not only you are the most incredible doctor out there but in my opinion you are the most humble, funny, kind and a great human being!! I just love love the knowledge you share with all of us! So grateful😇 ❤
ua-cam.com/video/srIHfwhNu9s/v-deo.html
“You can’t catch me. You can’t catch me” shimmy shimmy 😂😂😂😂
Side note, digging the blue watch. The other wrist looks so naked tho lol
Great Video! *This is both hilarious and interesting*
I just watched creater clash great job btw and a week later I'm watching funny medical videos and you say Mike I'm like what I had to look I had no idea that's cool
Mike:”being an auditory listener”
Me: yeah mike that’s how ears work come on youre a doctor😂