NO MORE *SETTLING* - Tips for Attracting Your ACTUAL Type with Stephan Speaks

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  • Опубліковано 9 лис 2024
  • Helloooo Angels!! I am SO thrilled to have my friend and renowned relationship expert Stephan Speaks on today's episode of Quality Queen Control! In this Q&A session, I ask Stephan many of you all's burning questions about dating, relationships, love, and courting.
    We get into the intricacies of communication styles in dating and Stephan shares insights into the trustworthiness of a potential partner. We also explore concept of ultimatums and their effectiveness in relationships, take a deep dive into the realm of each gender tapping into masculine and feminine energies, unpack the challenge of deciphering a man's true intentions, explore how to navigate the complex emotions that arise when you feel connected to someone who may not reciprocate those feelings - and so much more!
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 150

  • @itswellnessjess
    @itswellnessjess Рік тому +97

    It's Asha asking questions related to EVERY phase of dating and relationships for me. Communication cadence in the early stages of dating. What to do when feelings aren't reciprocated or the other person doesn't feel connected. Whether or not ultimatums are necessary for marriage-minded folk. And then, you gotta love how Stephan always digs beneath the surface! It's never a one-off situation or an individual circumstance that drives people's decision making - whether positive or negative, whether in romantic relationships or not. There's always a TON of variables that end up either lead up to or create the root cause. AMAZING discussion! 🔥🔥

  • @thecommonsensecapricorn
    @thecommonsensecapricorn Рік тому +109

    I love how he emphasized how women will settle for men they’re not really into and try to make it work for years… I thought I was alone in that. That’s my biggest fault, something I’m working on hard. I made it very clear to my boyfriend when we first started dating last year that I believed in gender roles, of a man being the provider, and he said he believes that too but that has proved to be so incredibly different. He spent way too much money on me the first 6 months and then flipped the script and wanted to go half on everything and hasn’t taken me on a date since. I’m 25 years old working in the service industry and he’s a 36 year old who had a stable career for the past 15 years and just decided to take a new turn, which is how he justifies not having the money to take me out and such. Girl he TRICKED ME. But I definitely did see the red flags and ignored them. I see my fault too.

    • @dswannbeautyartist
      @dswannbeautyartist Рік тому +3

      I had a similar experience but were much older he could be a narc.

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 8 місяців тому +1

      You probably have a soul tie that you acquired thru sex and now he's taking you for granted. I'd pull away and it won't be easy.

    • @chooseaname1423
      @chooseaname1423 7 місяців тому +2

      @@dswannbeautyartistdo you mind sharing the red flags?

    • @yzma6142
      @yzma6142 6 місяців тому +7

      This is so manipulative. Get out now tbh he’ll only get worse

    • @TheSunshinefee
      @TheSunshinefee 4 місяці тому

      what were the red flags you ignored?
      why are you staying with him. you are still young

  • @memoir02
    @memoir02 Рік тому +54

    The way I screamed when I saw this video 😀 2 of my favs together talking about healthy relationships 👏🏽

  • @thecommonsensecapricorn
    @thecommonsensecapricorn Рік тому +57

    Asha you’re so right, I’m 25 (a Gen Z) and the men in my age group are so unattractive to me. I want a MAN. I love how he put it. You gotta walk in that masculine energy but tap into the feminine when it’s necessary. Period!

    • @dw3675
      @dw3675 Рік тому +4

      I’m 24 about to be 25 😂 seems like we’ll have to date 30 and up at this point😂

    • @law11school11girly
      @law11school11girly 11 місяців тому

      I’m 22 in Miami… I date at least 32

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 8 місяців тому +1

      ​Miami is incredibly grimy. I'd move. There is a great church there if your a believer. The men are respectful and love Christ. FR.

  • @Babystahp95
    @Babystahp95 Рік тому +32

    I think chemistry often clouds your judgement. You tend to overlook the red flags when there’s chemistry but when the foundation is something stronger like friendship then you can actually find someone truly compatible

  • @ssavanahhh_
    @ssavanahhh_ Рік тому +27

    my jaw literally dropped when I seen both of you in the thumbnail!!! this is too good!!!

  • @violetnyanzi6394
    @violetnyanzi6394 Рік тому +27

    I loved it when he said ts a red flag wen we don't trust our intuitions, my stuationship last for 3 yrs, and I was covering for him all along yet I knew it won't work out 😢
    Thank you Asha❤and Stephan

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 8 місяців тому +1

      Never settle for a situationship. That's friends with benefits. The only way the relationship will work is if your both in Christ. Jesus must be the foundation.

  • @lavellans
    @lavellans Рік тому +8

    The communication not being one size fits all is refreshing. I tire of the good/bad labels on specific behaviors that are (to me) simply personal alignment

  • @alainabrowning1450
    @alainabrowning1450 Рік тому +21

    The crossover I didn’t know I needed but so here for it LFG👏🏻 y’all are great, sending love from Texas ❤

  • @tiyat1
    @tiyat1 Рік тому +20

    I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EPISODEE!!! I remember I told you to bring him on the show!! Thank you Asha for making this happen!!! Thank you for the questions!!! I really enjoyed this ep!! I loved the energy between you both on this topic!! Definitely want to see more of you and Stephan disucsing more on this topic and even topics about God and faith!!! It was superrr goood!! Thank you to you both for being so open and speaking so much wisdom!❤❤❤

    • @AshaChristinaFoster
      @AshaChristinaFoster  Рік тому +4

      Awwwwww im so happy I was able to fulfill this for you 🥰 and thank you so much!!!! I really appreciate your feedback and you’re so welcomeeeeee🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @shesonfire_
    @shesonfire_ Рік тому +20

    I met a guy who was seemingly trying to work things out. We would have these conversations that looked as tho he was understanding me and changing but he wasn’t. He was biding his time until he could do something else to hurt me again. Be careful. Some ppl are posing and strategically abusing you mentally to wear you out so u can’t make good decisions for yourself in that relationship. The decision to leave being one of them.

    • @danilaroche1156
      @danilaroche1156 8 місяців тому

      This is true. The devil is working overtime and wreaking havoc in relationships. People are wildin & acting a fool.

    • @aruytpadyugf
      @aruytpadyugf 2 місяці тому

      Lots of these guys will do a bait and switch. You have to be always alert when they change their ways with you further down. Love yourself enough to leave

    • @gigglekeyon
      @gigglekeyon 2 місяці тому

      ‼️absolutely

  • @digthewarmth
    @digthewarmth 4 місяці тому +6

    3:30 If you're afraid of running out of things to talk about with me, then I don't think we're a match. There's always Something to talk about with all the happenings and ideas floating around in the world.

  • @REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh
    @REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh 6 місяців тому +3

    This is SO deep and good!! I’m almost 34 and I’m wrestling with my singleness. But I am trying to prepare for when a worthy man approaches.

  • @demimiller3756
    @demimiller3756 Рік тому +15

    I think this interview is literally pointing out, that women and men need to date only once they are healed and healthy, (which takes a long time) and have a lot of information that is scarce, people want to date young but society isn’t grooming us to date successfully, so parents and family that didn’t get sucked in have to work extra hard to maintain the minds of the children

  • @JaneeLeeSanders
    @JaneeLeeSanders Рік тому +8

    Loved this episode!!!! Was hyped when you teased it on IG and it did not disappoint! Definitely looking forward to more episodes with you two in the future

  • @sunvavachi
    @sunvavachi Рік тому +5

    Wow I was legit listening to him with Jay Shetty and then I see him here, what a wonderful collab. You're the perfect person to collab with him!

  • @Shanesecampbell
    @Shanesecampbell Рік тому +2

    It was the chemistry in this video for me! That alone made me think I want this type of communication in a relationship. The questions and answers made a beautiful dialogue! Wishing you many blessings on the podcast and channel. I have been a supporter of you both! ❤

    • @AshaChristinaFoster
      @AshaChristinaFoster  Рік тому +1

      Awwww thank you so much!!!!!!! This is so sweet!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @juanitawilliams2134
    @juanitawilliams2134 3 місяці тому

    The more i watch your videos Stephen. The more i get clarity of a relationship i was once in Thank you ❤️

  • @thecommonsensecapricorn
    @thecommonsensecapricorn Рік тому +13

    Off the bat, I’m the same way. Soooo many guys back in my dating app days would try to have like a text buddy… nah nah nah what are we doing?
    I was texting with a guy for two weeks, and he kept coming up with excuses why he couldn’t meet me IRL yet, our conversations were really nice but I hate texting and it wasn’t seeming to go anywhere, I was finally just like best of luck to you but you don’t seem ready to meet someone. He was like, I’m sorry how about this weekend? And I didn’t reply. Gotta catch those red flags early.

  • @Rose-fe9jc
    @Rose-fe9jc Рік тому +13

    Not sure if either of them are single, but do I detect a little chemistry here? 😊

  • @chileshewakumelo9978
    @chileshewakumelo9978 10 місяців тому +2

    The episode I didn't know I needed ❤️

  • @DianaFaruqui
    @DianaFaruqui 9 місяців тому +1

    The non-couple POWER COUPLE!!!💥💥💥 Lol 🤩 I haven’t even watched this yet, but I’m ridiculously excited!!! Love you both!!!!! This collab is unreal 😃😁

  • @amberts180
    @amberts180 4 місяці тому +2

    23:30 Women experience this everyday of the week. Being the girl that is getting dolled up, meeting the friends & family, and learning their likes & dislikes but six months after a breakup he’s engaged to someone else doing things you asked for.

  • @MimiSc25
    @MimiSc25 Рік тому +4

    Asha this was great! you need to do this more! Loved this vid so insightful.

  • @jazbrehaut
    @jazbrehaut Рік тому +5

    SHEEEEESSSHHH this was such a good podcast. Touched on a lot of points that I’ve been needing clarity on. Newly interested in someone & I’ve been in my head about it ALOT.

  • @thecommonsensecapricorn
    @thecommonsensecapricorn Рік тому +13

    What a collab!!!

  • @preciousmndaweni5157
    @preciousmndaweni5157 Рік тому +3

    Absolutely loved this video ❤

  • @bd3966
    @bd3966 Рік тому +3

    This was a great interview! Very insightful

  • @user-ul4re5zo6j
    @user-ul4re5zo6j 7 місяців тому +1

    You guys are amazing ❤❤

  • @lauragarcez7149
    @lauragarcez7149 Рік тому +1

    What a great podcast!! So many trues! I´ll watch it again and again! thanks for that

  • @Olga10155
    @Olga10155 Рік тому +2

    I’ve been WAITING for this collab 🤩

  • @aisharedux781
    @aisharedux781 11 місяців тому

    I loooove these questions you’re asking here!

  • @Jazzysafterhourspodcast
    @Jazzysafterhourspodcast 3 місяці тому

    Love this!!!! Thank you for sharing!!!❤

  • @hanavaughan6956
    @hanavaughan6956 Рік тому +4

    The questions were so on point
    Absolutely loved this episode

    • @AshaChristinaFoster
      @AshaChristinaFoster  Рік тому +2

      I was like let me askkkk alllll these questions giirllll

    • @hanavaughan6956
      @hanavaughan6956 Рік тому +1

      @@AshaChristinaFoster no I knoooow
      And I totally saw ur adorable personality! Honestly it was sooo adorable
      Just so you 💖
      I was telling my bf, there’s NO way Stephan is not attracted to her… just no way 🙈👀 llolll

    • @AshaChristinaFoster
      @AshaChristinaFoster  Рік тому

      😂😂😂😂 hanaaaaaaaa I love you!

  • @josephinedoe7898
    @josephinedoe7898 Рік тому +1

    Yesssss 🎉🎉🎉 I’m so proud of you!!!!!!!!

  • @NaeBeauty44
    @NaeBeauty44 Рік тому +1

    Love this!!! Yaaasss sis! I buy all his books 📚 watching full interview now

  • @JustTyrin
    @JustTyrin Рік тому +2

    This is MAJOR

  • @dw3675
    @dw3675 Рік тому +1

    Asha I love you so much. Can’t wait to watch this! Would love if you could collab with Dr. Michelle Daf at some point or Taty Cokely. But thanks for this video, good advice.

    • @AshaChristinaFoster
      @AshaChristinaFoster  Рік тому

      Omgosh Dr. Michelle is my friend!!! So we will absolutely be doing something together soon! We have been speaking about it since the beginning of the year! And I will look up Taty! I’m not familiar with her :)😊

    • @dw3675
      @dw3675 Рік тому

      @@AshaChristinaFostergreat! Can’t wait to see it!

  • @floweryvanilla1064
    @floweryvanilla1064 Рік тому +1

    GOOOOOOOOO ASHA OOMGGGGGG not theeeeeeee stephan Speaks im so proud of you🥰

    • @AshaChristinaFoster
      @AshaChristinaFoster  Рік тому +3

      He’s amazing! We have been friends for years and he finally came down and I have a studio now🥰

  • @hanavaughan6956
    @hanavaughan6956 Рік тому +1

    Ughh this was so goooood and sooo Asha!! 😍🥹

  • @TieranniPieranni
    @TieranniPieranni 2 місяці тому +2

    Don’t force yourself to be attracted to someone. 9/10 it won’t grow. They are so right!

  • @monique1389
    @monique1389 Рік тому +1

    I love this!

  • @nevergiveyouupbjcaldwell2454
    @nevergiveyouupbjcaldwell2454 3 місяці тому

    🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💯 ❤ pretty interesting conversation!!

  • @tee5096
    @tee5096 Рік тому +1

    Hey Asha and Stephan. I've been waiting for this❤

  • @MalikaEsdelle
    @MalikaEsdelle Рік тому

    My two faves FR! Yess collabbb

  • @chuucake
    @chuucake Рік тому +1

    im sure i will love today's podcast 😍

  • @AnikeNightly
    @AnikeNightly Рік тому +33

    is anyone else seeing this chemistry? 🔥

  • @Jade-rr8wh
    @Jade-rr8wh Рік тому

    Proud of you Asha❤✝️

  • @katye7777
    @katye7777 3 місяці тому

    Thanks!

  • @reneabrown9812
    @reneabrown9812 Рік тому +2

    Ashaaaaa you are literally the epitome of putting in the work and growing. I’m hear for all of this 🤭🤣🩷🩷🩷🩷

  • @moonwitch1615
    @moonwitch1615 Рік тому +5

    Omg how the heck did you end up arranging this! You always knew him?

    • @AshaChristinaFoster
      @AshaChristinaFoster  Рік тому +5

      Yes, we have been friends for 4 years now lol. I just usually keep my friends private, and we wanted to do this a long time ago but the timing wasn't right because we don't live in the same state and finally the timing aligned and it worked out just in time where I have my own studio and the podcast became visual!

  • @jenspire2458
    @jenspire2458 Рік тому +1

    Great ❤ interview girl

  • @moons4363
    @moons4363 Рік тому +1

    Didn't expect this😂❤

  • @lorinakers7934
    @lorinakers7934 3 місяці тому +1

    Love or relationship? Good question! What is your priority?

  • @danilaroche1156
    @danilaroche1156 3 місяці тому

    I had tremendous chemistry with my ex. It kind of made us crazy. Careful....

  • @olgakiely6898
    @olgakiely6898 4 місяці тому

    They would make a nice couple. Power couple..

  • @ShekinahTeachings
    @ShekinahTeachings 23 дні тому +1

    ❤❤❤gurl this the first time im seeing yo face in over 5 years 😢

  • @NovaDoll
    @NovaDoll 10 місяців тому +2

    My ex completely become a different person overnight. It left me confused. He would start fights out of nowhere. Me being an extremely empathic person thought I was me. I assumed there must be something I was doing to set him off. He would find the most random things wrong. Like when I cooked dinner why didn't I make it 5 seconds sooner. Non of it make sense. He would make me cry and break down did this for weeks. Turns out he was stressed at his job and was just using me a punching bag. I begged him to go to therapy so he could be happier again or look for a new job. Nope. I moved out. Left him with everything except my clothing. After I left he finally got help and married some other women not even a year later...

    • @a.d.b535
      @a.d.b535 3 місяці тому +2

      Maybe he knew the other woman the entire time and trying to get rid of you.

  • @mslove2913
    @mslove2913 Рік тому

    Great content 🙏

  • @cynthiajoy3780
    @cynthiajoy3780 Рік тому +1

    Sorry but when she said “will smith pre-slap” I was dead 💀💀🤣

  • @akuamarva45
    @akuamarva45 Рік тому

    I love Asha C ❤

  • @quilabill
    @quilabill Рік тому

    25:56 I’m loving this conversation and the topics you two are touching on - And you are so charming!!

  • @lorinakers7934
    @lorinakers7934 3 місяці тому

    Dr Spirit

  • @oliviajonale
    @oliviajonale Рік тому

    🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @Erica-cf1xb
    @Erica-cf1xb Рік тому +1

    People are weird in the sense that they desire the very things they are naturally not. Its so many mix signals of whats real attraction vs whats for play time. People don't take into account how they have treated others will come back to them. This throwing away human culture has literally turned the world into a fire pit and its crying broke. Hunting for saviors. Nobody know who is who and its messed up that nobody is okay with showing up as a real person with real problems.

  • @monetismymiddlename
    @monetismymiddlename Рік тому +1

    Is that an engagement ring queen?! 😮

  • @Prettypretty89
    @Prettypretty89 Рік тому

  • @udoncat
    @udoncat Рік тому

    💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

  • @susiq1121
    @susiq1121 Рік тому

    💜💜💜

  • @racheloddie6720
    @racheloddie6720 4 місяці тому

    I think Stephan likes her lol

  • @shank9152
    @shank9152 Рік тому

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @tex7.7
    @tex7.7 6 місяців тому

    29:32. Can someone plz tell this man that women call this kind of guy simp? Most women want their ideal man to be masculine, but can't deal with his lack of empathy and care towards her. Most women want their ideal man to be a bit feminine but will also call him simp and walk all over him. Fellas stop trying to be masculine/feminine just be you. She should deal with the real you rather than you trying to be masculine/feminine.

    • @Amazinglilflowers
      @Amazinglilflowers 2 місяці тому

      That’s my dream man. I guess women who only want the man for the resources he brings might see him that way?

  • @pwilli12pw
    @pwilli12pw 3 місяці тому

    Cake in my face?!?! On my wedding day?!?! 👊🏾👊🏾👊🏾 12:47

  • @danilaroche1156
    @danilaroche1156 6 місяців тому

    Asha says LIKE a lot. Its sounds juvenille. Not classy .

  • @danilaroche1156
    @danilaroche1156 8 місяців тому

    Stephan needs a hair cut.

  • @danilaroche1156
    @danilaroche1156 3 місяці тому

    Stephan is jive. Sorry!!!

  • @danilaroche1156
    @danilaroche1156 3 місяці тому

    Stephan is kind of flaky. Sorry brother!

  • @iysow2937
    @iysow2937 Рік тому +1

    Love your show and you’re beautiful…but the furry top and blazer looks a little monkey man-nish aesthetically

  • @maddenmaze6891
    @maddenmaze6891 Рік тому

    Gosh this was too good ❤❤❤❤❤ I watched the whole video!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @make_emfall_inlovee
    @make_emfall_inlovee Рік тому

    Go Asha.. Go Ashaaaa🫶🏾 I love Stephan Speakssssssss