8 Things MEN SAY That Are Huge Red Flags
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 гру 2024
- Hey dear ladies ❤️
Manifest your destiny, attract the right man, a happy marriage, respect, a fulfilling sex life, and more 👉 bit.ly/3xQq0YE
In this video, we discuss 8 things men say that are huge red flags!
If you are asking any of the following questions or searching for:
relationship advice for women
dating advice for women
love advice for women
dating tips
relationship advice
women relationship advice
best relationship advice for couples
best dating tips for women
best relationship advice
female relationship advice
and more, well, I believe this dating advice for women video will give you the clarity you need.
WATCH MORE 🍿
If you were my daughter, I'd share these 7 harsh truths about men
• If you were my daughte...
Why you can't stop thinking about someone
• Why you can't stop thi...
5 signs he’s using your feelings
• When an emotionally br...
twitter: x.com/femforward_
Instagram: / femforward_0fficial
©️ My use of the content falls within the boundaries of the Fair Use law. I emphasize that I am using the material for research and educational reasons and not to infringe on any copyright holder's rights.
➤ The links above are affiliate links which help us provide more great content for free :)
I have had this BS thrown at me all my life. I am 72 and have finally figured out that ACCEPTING ABUSE as normal behavior is what happens to abused and neglected children. These lessons need to be taught to every grade school child. Some of us just never had enough adults that gave a dam about us. This could save a lot of people from so much unhappiness. Thank you
You're so right. I thank God I had parents who loved me. Not that they never made mistakes in bringing up me and my siblings... they did. But I have no doubt that they loved me and wanted the best for me.
Amen to that!!
I agree. 👍🙏
@@leigh310. You were very lucky.
Good call, Teresa. Having a crap father sets you up perfectly for getting a crap husband. 😥
Thank you for posting this video.
Here is another example for toxic comments. Your partner insults you. You confront him. He replies, “I was just kidding. Can’t you take a joke? The problem with you is you have no sense of humor.”
Your partner is devaluing your feelings. Instead of taking responsibility and apologizing like a healthy human being, he is putting the blame on you for the conflict.
Exactly. They try to insult you with no consequence. They're giving themselves a Get Out Of Jail Free Card.
My reply, "If that's your humour, don't become a Comedian, because you suck and would get.....crickets.🦗
Yep. Mine called my autistic son an animal. I walked out and cried. When I came back I asked him why he said that. He said it was just a joke. Expressions that French people use.
@@vanessamaiato3894 Vanessa, that is horrible. What a truly mean thing to say about a child. Some people are unfortunately, toxic.
What exactly is a toxic comment for you?
@@vanessamaiato3894French people are some of the most sleazy, dirty, rude people out there. Find someone else
Not only a man (romantic or intimate relationship), relationship with your close friends, families, any other relationship
definitely
Huh ?
Exactly !
@@RebeccaCuriosityWitch the mean that your partner/men are not the only ones capable of doing these things, any human regardless of gender is capable of treating another human this way. For me it was my mother
My response to I'm over- reacting. Was NOT YET!!! BUTV I WILL SHOW YOU OVER REACTING
What is far worse: my late husband would never discuss problems esp budget and money. He would just keep silent then do what he liked. I landed up supporting the family alone and doing repairs myself etc. Others then accused me of taking over but I was forced to. I realise now he was a perrennial bachelor and shouldn't have got married. I never got support and he eventually bankrupted us. I would say that if your man won't discuss important issues and won't take responsibility, ditch him. I wasted 46 years of my life and wore myself out, was never loved or protected and kept struggling to make a happy home without his help. He wasn't violent but weak and selfish
I'm sorry you experienced that He may have had a whole other life outside of the marriage Sounds like he was absent long before the marriage ended.
@@myrnadavis2409 the marriage didn't "end" - he died. His sister also turned out irresponsible. Problem was I loved him.......I'm in my 70s and I've discovered many other baby boomers had irresponsible husbands. Hindsight is always 20/20
@@jpatpat9360 Yes ma'am. Mine passed away 8 months after our divorce But hard to admit sometimes is that some relationships are spiritually and emotionally over long before the divorce Sorry for your loss.
If you get the chance, watch 2 Canadian shows hosted by Gail Vaz Oxlade called
1. "Till Debt do us Part". (usually younger married couple who make common mistakes with debt)
2. Another show she did was called "Princess". (Basically about spoiled young women who generally live at home and mooch off of everyone around them) These shows are both informative and entertaining They are free -- You Tube.
It sounds like you have been put through Hell. Don't listen to others that tell you that you were taking over. You did what you had to do to make a good home for your family and you did it for a good reason.
SO WAS I HONEY , I DON'T REALLY PLAN ON NEVER EVER GETTING MARRIED EVER AGAIN 😢 I LOVE MY DOGS MORE AND MY SON AND GRANDKIDS BETTER , MORE PEACEFUL THAT WAY 🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤😊😊😊
THANK YOU JESUS
I had a guy last year say number 7 to me "No one will want you like I do" Let me tell you I ran, I ran fast and I ran far.
🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🙌😂
I had these said to me throughout my first marriage
GOOD FOR YOU !😄👍
Like "Oh great, no will love me like you do? That's cool, cause I don't like the way you love me anyway. Goodbye."
Yes run From anyone that puts you down in an offish way. By using them self as I'm better than anyone you will ever meet and he won't see you the way I can etc... those little gas lighting Ways are evil to the core.
1. It's your fault I got angry.
2. You are too sensitive.
3. Why can't you be more like a/b/c?
4. I never said that.
5. You are overreacting.
6. If you really loved me, you would do this for me.
7. No-one else will ever love you like I do.
8. You are imagining things.
Literally the description of that one closeted gay narcissist who made me dirty 😂
Recognition ❤
Thank you for the list. You are the best. 👍🍀🌼
The following was a real conversation with a narc i liked a lot before
We were texting and it was a normal talk about a video.Suddenly he said ' i think you are crazy and need a doctor' when i explained something he didnt know.He then went on calling me all things and insulting me.I complained of course.He then said i was too sensitive i should forget things . I didnt.He went on next day saying if i give importance to such a small thing imagine how i woukd be with important things like money.( As if money is more important than neing insulted deeply).Then he brought back my previous relationship giving reason to my ex and saying i must have being guilty of fighting about money!!!!!!!!!! ( I have never and that was a fabrication from him) He used my previous relationship to try to hurt me and make me feel the wrong one. Analysing the whole thing He insulted me to start with and went on finding ways to escape acountability.That happened some time ago .I run.
Exactly what my psychopath husband said AFTER I married him. Before that, he was the perfect guy. You never know. They are very tricky. 💕💕💕
The man I was married to for well over 30 years, spoke to me like this nearly every day. It’s been taking me a long time to discover the person I was meant to be. But I am thankful to have been released from the man who has caused me so much damage.
Amen.
And now youre back to dating scene ? Do you have some bagage ? You know men right.
@@monahf Why would she bother? With what objective? She has finally achieved independence, peace and quiet and time for self-discovery after 30 years of subjugation etc. Being alone does not necessarily mean wanting in senior years to jump back into a dating scene or another term of servitude. Ugh!
I was in a 45year relationship with an abuser. People like me always have baggage...PTSD for a start. I have researched these relationships and NPD in particular.
Why after such long term abuse would anyone want to get 'back to the dating scene'? And yes, after all the reading and research I've done I think I "know men" and this knowledge tells me I don't need a man to validate me. I am independent and very happy on my own with my own company. I have 4 fantastic kids and 6 grandkids to give me all the love and affection I need. The next 10 or 15years I probably have left will be lived for me and them not some abusive man.
@@Therockandrollharmonygrrrl94
Who are you saying needs to ask God for forgiveness and for what?
#9 : Nobody else will put up with you.
I stayed in an 18 year marriage hearing that one. I left. A decade later now, the kids are now adults and have limited contact with their dad. Never spoke harshly about him to them. They figured out the truth themselves.
Good woman
SAME HERE HONEY 🍯
Wow, same with me, my husband got it all. We're 18 yrs now, but still treated that way, anyway it's my choice to stay because of my children to have a whole family. But deep inside im still hurting even I already accept the fact that he'll never change.
@@Random88.- I hope that sooner than later you'll be loved the right way. I'll say a prayer for you.
SAME HERE 😢SADLY 💯 TRUTH
The amount of damage that gaslighting can cause, in even a short span of time, is unreal.
the amount of damage social propaganda and influencers can cause is insane right?
Yes it is beyond awful.
And cruelty with words and put downs .
If one criticises them they blow up in narcisstic rage ..I find most of these creeps are highly insecure and damaged people .they take their toxic behavior and inadequacies out on others .
@@susantolle7599not most, ALL! No normal person has these crappy behavior, that is proof they are f*cked up emotionally mentaly...but that is their problem not yours and should seek help
@@susantolle7599it is called Projection!
@@wretchedrabbit Yes, social propaganda can be damaging and is still to this day, highly effective.
Yes, there are toxic influencers out there who hide behind a fake persona, peddling their lies and will do anything for attention, even knowingly harming another.
The narcissist is by far, one of the worst and most dangerous types of people to encounter and gaslighting is just one of the methods that they use to break a person down.
When they tell you they love you and they hardly known you a week. When they ask you to marry them way too soon.
True 👍
I had that from my first ex-boyfriend.. We never married, but halfway through our relationship, he started pursuing someone else with the same lavish sentiments he put on me once. So much for "l love you an awful lot" and "will you marry me" a week into our relationship when I wanted to slow it down. He just wanted someone to manipulate. He ended up despising me. It took me a long time to break free, and I should have heeded the warning signs. I was glad to see the back of him, finally.
@@Peaceharmony-x3ra very educational story and should be taught to any young woman!
A sign of control, abuse to come. Cheating too.
Indeed. This is often a very large red flag.
Don't forget, 'You're too good for me!" That's a huge red flag as well, IMO
Oh yeah, heard that one also.
Better believe it from now on
Ah yes, I heard that one, I agree
Of course u r
Absolutely. This phrase is used immediately prior to the devaluation phase of an abusive relationship.
My family actually did all of these things so I have been raised to expect people to not care about me.
mine too .. :(
@mariaargiraki3036 i even get same attitude from some at work. I don't mind though because I haul ass so 🤷 I think good luck on not getting fired A holes .
I am sorry for you... One supposed to run away from stupid people , who raise their own children to be a prey for others later!
My family said I was too sensitive many times growing up.
And many of us as kids are more sensitive than others in the family. So the issue isn't the statement of fact, it's that it can be used as a put down, or dismissal. We must not only focus on the " phrase" said, but the surrounding context from childhood, and the behaviour. So a mom can be sweeping a child into her arms to hug and reassure and been saying you are too sensitive child, I'm worried about you, and tend to your child needs. But sadly it's said too often to the scapegoat child as a put down when they are reacting to one more attack within the family.
The same here.😮
Same here also.
Thank you. A word of wisdom to any reading the comments, if you answer yes to any of these the longer you wait to leave, the harder it will be to leave. The longer you wait, the less control you have of your life and self.
I've got one "my ex girlfriend/wife was crazy!!!!" While it's true men and women may have suffered the misfortune of being with a mentally unstable person and wind up breaking up, men with huge contempt/dismissive attitudes towards their exes can be an attempt to distract you from ever hearing that woman's side of the story.
Definitely. As soon as someone starts blaming an ex it's a sign they have unresolved issues and plan to use you to work through those issues. In the end you are beat up and exhausted and they move on to "someone more suitable" Wish them well and run, don't look back, keep running.
And you’ll be the next “crazy” some.Women can do this too.
I don't think this is a red flag it just means that he had awful relationship
@@VICTORIARAFAELLAMARIASILVADESO could be but if they ever cared about that person at all they might not be quick to use the word "crazy" or any horrible expletives to describe them. Also a bonus red flag if they never want you to talk to that person and potentially hear their side of the story
Or another favourite...'my wife doesn't understand me' said on a Saturday night by a half-cut ie tipsy somewhat underwhelming smelly and scruffy married late 30s male while propositioning sober single late 20s me during the last dance at a country woolshed social held at an outback property. When I queried where his wife was in this picture, he admitted he had left her at home looking after their 2 kids. He did not get lucky that night (with me at least) as I had heard that line a few times before. I gladly drove through the bush to home alone as usual after another narrow escape. Urggh!
I should have reacted to that red flag a decade or so later when my soon-to-be husband frequently ran his former partner and his second wife down using similar terms....I ignored it to my detriment.
When you’ve reached the end of your patience and caring for this type of person, hearing ‘No one will ever love you like I do’ could be considered a beacon of hope for your next relationship.
Lol. Perfect comment.
@@Dbb27 ❤️
@@lemarch57 say “thank God. Want someone who loves me better, not the same as you did. If you can call that love. I call it love of self.
😂😂😂 Love it!
almost like helping a woman escape a extremely physically abusive marriage just to have her turn around and look you dead in the face while saying "you are no better than my ex husband" while you had not ever and continued to not lay a violent or harmful hand on her little ungrateful head.
It goes for anyone in any relation, this isn't gender-based.
true, but there are more men w NPD than women...
It isn't, but being gender-based gets more clicks.
Actually, females get much more demeaning, threatening and isolating behavior from men than vice versa. It is a long, long tradition.
My mother said these dismissive things: you are being too sensitive, you’re imagining things, and I never said that.
perhaps your mother was overly sensitive or emotional and was just not as self aware as she thought she was? perhaps her memory or recollection of events arent that great not all people have the same ability when it comes to recalling or remembering things. perhaps the way it was stated back to the person who said it originally was incorrect or made it sound different than it actually was or was meant? wouldnt that be the misunderstanding or misconstruing of the person it was said to? perhaps your mother just didnt know how to hold herself accountable for things?
@@wretchedrabbit And maybe you victimizing the villain will further hurt the person who had to endure all that in the first place.
@@hilgahofkens2188 I'm not victimizing anyone. no one should want to consider themselves a victim or wear the shit like a badge of honor. you believing people on their word alone, especially on the internet... especially on a thread full of individuals who generally just hate men. you label someone a villain when you don't even know anything about anything.
now if you are finished msking silly assumptions and asserting ignorance... the only thing my statement was to convey is that there are always other perspectives, we dont know what we dont know and to generalize statements such as the ones in the OP without context as automatically red flag or abusive is ignorant, lazy and does more harm to any "cause" or "support" people who actually have been through abuse may have available to them in the future.
i could easily generalize that anytime a woman says "hes just a friend" or "you dont have to worry about that person" or "i was abused" or "they are a narcissist" we should automatically assume that they are toxic people who have probably had all of their male friends peens in their mouths.
or here is a really good one... when women say "if you want to get a paternity test then (followed by a threat or insulting label). thats absolutely a red flag... especially if the baby comes out a different race then either of you...
but we all know society has programmed people to be morons who do not know how to think outside their own biases... learn to think
Or perhaps someone's making excuses for someone who is perhaps toxic
Yep and mine says I NEVER DID THAT!! They sure did but they lie and deny.
Not just in partner it happens in the family too
I'd even say that it happens more in families than between partners.
Several times he said to me, "You're over-thinking! Stop over-thinking!" Thank you for this video!
Mine said the same thing. Over time I realised whenever he said that, I was actually spot on with what I as thinking.
Haha my optometrist said that to me
@@jx1743 That's funny!
I have heard all of these constantly from my husband of 29 years. I am exhausted. 30 years ago no one talked about red flags. He love bombed me and I did not know this would happen. I have given everything for this relationship and I no longer know who I am.
I just got married recently to someone who uses most of these statements. I don’t know who I am either…
Yup. Same here. He was absolutely perfect, then we got married and 💥 BOOM💥 the mask came off.
Your best revenge is living well without them
Ahh, The charm of a narcissist! Then marry one, and this is what you get! I’m a very strong woman and don’t cave into his tantrums and tirades, but it sure gets wearisome. I decided to move out, made plans to do so. He begged to come with me. I set rules and boundaries. If he slips up, out he goes. I’m done with his childish fit throwing and controlling behavior, and he knows it. Love him, but don’t like him much! We’ll see how this move works out for both of us.
I feel you. I got out of my 10 years long relationship with my ex-husband scarred and traumatized, wondering who I am. I still am figuring myself out, he suppressed all need in me to look for myself, only relying on who he wanted me to be for him. Red flags weren't a subject either when I met him. I painfully learned that marriage and children can be used as means to imprison someone... So I also took my child out with me.
The only thing is: you deserve better than this. You might stay single for a while (I still am), but it's better than being in this, and such experience needs a lot of healing and patience towards yourself, before even trying for it again. Or you might fall for that trick again.
This can also be a PARENT to a child perspective! Many parents can show these red flags verbally to their daughters and sons even when adults
Absolutely true. My mother would show these red flags, so it's not just male to female either.
Yep, I got these from both my parents.
Yes, tell me about it. I got it from both parents.
My mother spewed this nonsense on a daily basis.
Or anyone..ils, etc.
My father would tell me I'm too sensitive my entire childhood. Yet another example of why I have a horrible time trusting people. 😢
I've been with a narcissist 4 years, and he's said everything to me that's in this video. Getting ready to walk away from him because he has damaged my very existence. My mental and emotional state has been damaged so bad and my health is suffering as well. When I'm out of here, I'm going to a facility where I can get the much needed help I desperately need. Also Getting a PFA against him. Had enough abuse!!
Run and don't look back no matter how much they attempt to convince you to go back. Good luck😊❤
Run and don’t look back; my mom stayed with my narcissistic sociopath of a dad because by the time she was stuck with me and my sister (he’d sabotaged the birth control and back in the early 70s abortion was illegal), she’d been out of the workforce for years and he’d totally destroyed her confidence and self esteem - he made her life a living hell; 40+ years of emotional and physical abuse, cheated on her repeatedly and drove her into an early grave. When my mom died she was 72 and she looked like she was 102. That SOB? He looked years younger than his age. These guys are emotional, psychic vampires and THEY WILL SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU
Please secure as much information eg photos,bank accounts,social media passwords,email access etc that belong to you on his devices (including deleted bins and clouds if possible) the less information he has the better.
Try secure a holiday to get away 3 or 4 days after the split. Nothing crazy just away so he physically is gone.
Give him a message that says you keep phone and text communication open for 3 or 4 days then will delete and block maybe meeting in new-year to exchange any remaining personal items. Build safe time away from him.
Good for you!
Run fast! Now!
All of these "red flags" always show up in dating, that is why you should spend 2 years getting two know someone and don't sleep with them either, that will really muddy your judgement.
Actually, they don't always show up during dating. Some people are very good at keeping it all even until you are married. I became friends with an ex's girlfriend (she was a very nice person). We would meet and talk. We both came to the same conclusion - The man you dated was not the man you ended up with. She dated him for 18 months before moving in with him. Once she was in his house - boom - the real him came out.
Good luck keeping someone around for two years without sleeping together!
@@charliemorris2458 I know in our present hyper-sexualized society it’s hard to believe, but it can happen. And still does.
i mean if you are religious, or something... sure no sex is cool... but if you have already handed out the virginity then waiting 2 years will just make you undesirable. especially if he has also been sexually active in the past. we all have needs as human beings. perhaps try not falling in-schlong the first time he gives you the whole thing.
@@wretchedrabbit 🤣 idiot
Six out of eight. Hearing those phrases was like going back in time. I used to be so insecure, that I truly believed all was my fault. I had nobody to turn to. My family turned a deaf ear. That man nearly destroyed me. Divorced. I am told that I am a very strong person. Highly independent (really had no choice).
Wish You all the best! Healing takes time and some work
@@GyllenkroksAve Thank you. 🤗
May you have people and a partner in your life that you can share in being supportive, kind and respectful. 😊
@@jenhampton1627 Thank you.🤗
You are inspiring.
Very informative. So correct. Important to everyone, not only women, but also men, who are in a relationship.
Parents pull this same kind of crap on their kids. It's not confined to man/woman relationships.
mom's gaslighting also wild LOL. Also happen in a friend group (these toxic friends also said this to me, crazy.)
C
Spot-on ;)
or perhaps the kid is a pussy and needs to give their nuts a tug/ovaries a squeeze and stop growing up to be a bleeding heart liberal who cant handle criticisms, different opinions or views, or basic human interactions without needing a safe space and a therapy dog that hasn't been eaten by illegal immigrants.
It's manipulation of people in your life who present themselves as caring about you.
Gaslighting also applies when they say you said something you did not say and they convince others you are in the wrong. .
Litteraly anything they could say that is not what you remembered but serves them into shutting your mouth. They are especially good at inventing stories and making them seem true.
Remember: the killer always has an impeccable memory of his perfect alibi for the time of murder. The innocent doesn't often have a alibi that can be verified, and most likely won't remember very well what they were doing.
those are two completely different actions... and neither are gaslighting... god i wish college terminology would stay in the classrooms where it belonged... not enough people know how to read definitions or comprehend somethings meaning and too many people trying to sound intelligent.
@@nostera5142 Thank you that is exactly what they were doing .Had me walking on eggshells thinking I was going crazy.
@@e.woodwitch2925 yes they lie. My parents were the DIVIDE type and later my brother told me that my mom had lied and said I would buy her a condo!! Why would I buy that child abuser a condo?? Why would I do it and my name not be on it?? My siblings being trauma bonded believed everything she said and she did everything to keep us separated as did my Dad so they would not know the truth.
@@e.woodwitch2925 Yes they will say you are crazy or you have demons etc… they actually are mentally ill.
When he says he loves you on the first date 😆😆 or talking about marriage or having kids RUN RUN RUN
Faster if your a man lol
Get! Over! "yOURSELF"!!!!!
👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎
Men like this???
Probably? Have a mental illness.
@@junevmarshall4156? Why? The statement was true!
What about when someone actually claims I said something that I didn’t? I will say,”I never said that.”
"You are nothing without me" is what l was always told.
:(
that was a good one! :-)) I am sorry though...
On your mark get set run 🏃♀️➡️🏃♀️➡️🏃♀️➡️🏃♀️➡️🏃♀️➡️🏃♀️➡️🏃♀️➡️🏃♀️➡️🏃♀️➡️🏃♀️➡️
It's best to live alone and just have a good internet.
Important info there, but...sometimes "I never said that" is actually true, and is a response to being gaslit.
True…I have had people accuse me of saying things that I never said, so they could cause trouble in the family ,
True, twice I've had people tell me that I said something that I didn't. Of course both times that was because they wanted to take something from me or benefit from using my property.
But this isn’t about the healthy relationship side ….. this is literally about Men throwing up Red Flags 🚩
I think anyone that makes you question your thoughts n feelings you should keep a distance from. It's a form of gaslighting, n it's toxic. No one has the right to make you feel less of a person. 90% of the time, your judgment or gut feeling you have about someone is spot on n you need to listen to it. If something feels off, it likely is, n it's not you it's them.
1. "It's your fault" (0:50)
2. "You are too sensitive" (1:15)
3. "Why can't you be more like someone else" (1:55)
4. "I never said that" (2:25)
5. "You are overreacting" (3:00)
6. "If you really loved me, you would do anything for me" (3:35)
7. "No one else will love you like I do" (4:05)
8. "You are imagining things" (4:35)
My favorite was " You could F**k up a wet dream".
Another bad one is 'doesn't matter' when you ask what's wrong; that can crush you.
That one is another tactic for controlling you. I hope you left.
My ex used to look at me and let out a huge disappointed sigh. I’d say “what’s wrong?and he would say “nothing”. Drove me nuts.
Thank you so much for this video. It tells me I was right in believing that I was used more than loved. His favorite line was, "Forget it, you don't understand". If you hear that, RUN!!!!
Now I understand, how many women fall for this for.... Decades.
A cage, not a relationship at all.
Been in a long term (20 )year relationship where many of these flags were prevelant. (They were also around me in high doses in my family of origin) . These manipulative behaviors lead to many arguments and verbal abuse thrown about between both of us. I am pretty secure in myself knowing not to internalize these manipulative behaviors as a reflection of who I am.. . (Reactive abuse was something I later became aware of in these destructive connections). Thank God all of these toxic behaviors and ways unhealed and unhealthy people are being talked about on a grand scale everywhere..Knowledge is power. You are in control to change these negative dynamics in your life..... I no longer connect with anyone who displays these behaviors .
Removing these toxic people friends and family has brought me peace of mind and freedom. Thankfully, I am good going solo, not settling and never will again unknowingly keeping unhealed people in my life . Excellent video.. ❤
Not just men , though...
These are very much Narcistic phrases, I've heard them before...
Was thinking the same, it are phrases to manipulate others
Religion can be used by narcissist
@@marjoriemaluca1396This is not true.
@@elianad2083 were you ever married to a narcissist? Do your own research before you start telling me it's not true
@@marjoriemaluca1396 Aah..I hastily read your response before I replied. I guess I read "religion can only be used by a narcissist". So I deeply apologize. Yes..of course you are right..and although I have never married a narcissist..I lived with one who unfortunately I was in love with. Have a nice week.
I met an Avoidant who walked away from me at midnight in a NYC subway when I responded to a question with "Why?". There I was surprised but I maintained my composure and didn't speak to him again.
The most important question you can ask in life is "WHY?" ! I guess he felt threatened.
@@ispeakmytruth1549 Exactly 💯 %
what was the reason you asked why? what did he say that made you ask why? sure is a lot of labelling going on with no context... perhaps you are Irrational, or incompetent. perhaps whatever he said deserved something other than a 1 word questioning of his comment or inquiry. perhaps he was just done trying to get through to you on a meaningful level because you apparently lacked comprehensiveness of what he was trying to convey
@@wretchedrabbit He repeatedly told me how to live my life.
@@charilynn6647 then he absolutely is not an "Avoidant".
I honestly do not care about the details. but you still have not given any actual context. which was my point.
Oh my goodness! I was told all the red flags and never realized it till it I got out of that relationship. Ladies don’t let those men put you down in any way. I know I have been there. I am much happier now!!
❤❤❤
My memory is excellent. If partner says I took that out of context, I believe he is changing the past to suit the present.
When they pretend it was your fault in front of others they get you upset and then pretend they didnt do anything in front of your family.
Yep seen that one
Thank you for this helpful video.
So many people think it's ok to speak to others in these awful ways - not only men but people in all walks of life including parents, siblings, bosses, coworkers, politicians, religious leaders and more. However, I believe Love and Respect win - and if they haven't yet, they will.
My ex husband always told me that it was a case of "mind over matter". Meaning he didn't mind and I didn't matter,
I saw many if this red flags in my family members through me and they hate me for my reaction that it was telling them to get lost. Great video 💝
My mother did all this things to me constantly. When i was 13 i ran away because of her
"I don't know." I don't know why I did that. I don't know why I said that. I don't know why I act this way.
I call BS. You don't want to tell me, but you know.
This! 👏👏👏they say that when confronted then the next day or so go back to doing it again! 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I had one who claimed he couldn't remember. Not matter what happened, if he was at fault, he couldn't remember saying that, doing that, hearing that. Please. He sure did remember when I called him on it and kicked his butt out though.
some people dont know, some people have untreated or undiagnosed mental disorders... sit down.
I second this.@@wretchedrabbit
@@gusmonster59
Same here
He was not even Smart enough to know what he was doing! He was just plain selfish..inconsiderate and a Bully! 😊❤
My ex would say 'if it wasn't for me you'd be alone with your money'. New Year's day he called me lonely......the only time I've ever felt lonely was when I was married to him.....
I’m going to give you the benefit of my experience, if he keeps picking arguments over nothing and causing unnecessary rows it’s because he wants out but is too cowardly to make the break, by causing arguments over nothing he’s trying to drive you out, don’t wait for him to drive you out Get Out!
:) If my partner says "It is your fault I am angry", I could rebut "You are too sensitive", and we would strike the draw.
Oh, that´s a good one!!! 👍👍👍👍
That just makes you both red flags
I am kind of speechless cause my mother says each one of these things to me accurately. It comes as a shocker for me as I find these true for my relationship with my mom.
Not me!!!! I see through all this from having narcissistic mom and dad
@@vickigonya9432 me too. There are many of us. Narcissistic people are very jealous type of people too. Extremely disrespectful and dishonest. Huge liars. Run and stay far away.
I would tell him "You don't need to yell, I can hear you just fine, I'm right next to you." That would make him even more angry and then he would proceed to yell to me that he's not yelling and demonstrate what yelling really sounds like.
There is the calm chill passive aggressive abuse and gaslighting, and saying or doing (or not doing) things that they know will disrespect you, and then when you try and talk to them about it, and its more of the same, and they make it an argument and say "wah wah wah, you always have a problem with me" and before you know it you are yelling and super hurt and then they act like the victim because you got amplified.
Oh that behaviour is familiar.
Time to get out.
My ex boyfriend once said "I have everything, you have nothing" ouch. And I believed him! Ugh. I had to continue living with him. I kept trying to find some place to live but he would always apologize and plead for me to stay. Then I stayed and the courts had to get involved and he got to the phone first after pushing me. I learned my lesson..but I was so in love with him still and I even wanted him back. I think this goes back to my severe Childhood abandonment and abuse (verbally and emotionally). I ended up in therapy for a long long time and meds. This was back in 1997. I thank God, moved out of State. Everything reminded me of him.
Regarding Red Flag #3, one boyfriend showed me a picture of his ex-girlfriend. I wondered whether he was giving me a message that he’s had girlfriends who were better or more attractive than me. So I wrote him a letter saying we should stop seeing each other and I moved on.
Excellent!! Well done!
Good for you!
@@brendacook5103 Bravo! You do not want to know what was to be next. Some things you just cannot unsee.
Agreed this should be anyone in your life work environment, family, friends or yes relationship of any kind... Run!!
1000% right! I had all those !! But mostlly :" i did not say that!" I divorce , 9 years now & i am still healing after years of suffering ! So women/ men be carefull.
Just choose someone that it committed to you, in any relationship. That's what you deserve!
This information was not available years ago when many of us got trapped in narcissistic abuse.
How true.
"I didn't say that"...this is a great video. My partner does that and it makes me unable to love them. I hate their emotional blackmails and instabilities. I'm working through this...for myself so that I don't walk away from this situation unwell.
I think the sooner you walk away, the healthier you will be when you leave.
It will be much harder to become well if you stay. Time to get out. Don't let him make you sick. You are better than that.
Don't wait for him to say anything, just run.
😂
🤣🤣
😂
Hilarious 🤣
Im gonna use this to detect red flags from people at work.
Thanks for sharing this
Yes. It applies to all relationships, not just personal ones.
'Family'may be the trouble.😢
Self care, self awareness , self honesty...go beyond words, validate..ve been there, done it, AND protected my sanity and self worth..so can you❤
A sneaky thing I heard from my ex-husband was: "Okay then tell me how many times that occured, exactly what happened/I said, and the exact dates." Seriously, who keeps a journal about your partner's abuses, or remembers details so vividly?
oh I do not the dates but The whole conversations, he knows better because I will unload the whole thing, but then he just gets mad and walks away, when he comes back around it's like nothing was ever said
Yep me to
Don´t forget, some women also know to use those phrases.
Perhaps so. But, this is a video about men. Not women.
Video about MEN & “their” Red Flags 🚩
❤ Positive there are videos, about Women and their Toxic Red Flags.
Not necessarily.
Females can use same phrases, but often in intimate partnerships, use different manipulative phrases and actions. Like " if you were a real man". Or in same gender similar themed jabs.
Well..., you can flip this to red flags men should pay attention to as well. This is just not a female experience. Relationships are two way streets. If a redflag pops up - ask why, do have a discussion about it. No relationship will work if there respect is undermined. Jumping to conclusions about the meaning of a single statement or even a few in a row, will absolutley lead to relationship failure. It is true that women ignore men's positions, aspirations in a relationship too. It's a two way street. Have to say by way of example...'never said that'...well, perception/interpretation can be different. Maybe the person actually didn't say what is being claimed, or intended something very different. Agree with the flags, but be careful with your interpretations, don't jump to conclusions, you might need to understand the intentions. Finally, men can easily be trapped by the very same flags (self reflection is important for everyone).
My husband and my family speaks to me this way. This encourages my husband.
Sorry to say that your hubby does this because he doesn’t respect you to the point he’ll stand up for you. A man protective of his wife & her wellbeing is a blessing that brings a sense of safety & peace to her. Perhaps he’s following in his own parents’ footsteps & doesn’t comprehend what he’s doing. You’ll have to teach him that your relationship comes before all others.
Time to leave them all before they gang up on you and ... well...bully's operate in Groups!!! Run while you can...may God keep you safe, Guided, Guarded and PROTECTED!... You'll be AMAZED what they say behind your back.... All my Love and Light
Did your husband need much encouraging?
My favorite BS is when my now ex once told me, "You should have made me listen to you!"
Classic not accepting responsibility.
1. I don't need your permission to live my life the way I see fit.
2. No one is holding you against your will, you're free to leave at any time.
3. I don't need your drama or minigames.
4. If I'm only your second choice, then go with your first and leave me alone.
5. Getting pregnant won't keep me committed to you.
6. You're not my mother nor my babysitter.
7. Your mother disrespects your father and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
8. There are countless women asking "Where are all the good men?"
9. We're hiding in plain sight.
"I don't need your permission to live my life the way I see fit. "
So, if he's not doing anything illegal what's his alternative? To not do what he wants to do?
"No one is holding you against your will, you're free to leave at any time. "
This is true.
"I don't need your drama or minigames. "
This is probably also true.
"If I'm only your second choice, then go with your first and leave me alone."
What gave him the idea that he is your second choice in the first place?
"Getting pregnant won't keep me committed to you. "
Does this mean that you intend to get pregnant in order to get him to commit to you? That's pretty special, given that you are using a third person (i.e. a child) against his or her will to manipulate a man. You must be a wonderful mother!
"You're not my mother nor my babysitter. "
Ok, then don't be his mother or his babysitter.
"Your mother disrespects your father and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. "
Ok, gotta admit, that is manipulative there.
"There are countless women asking "Where are all the good men?" "
Ok, so where ARE all the good men? Define a good man and let's see what percentage of the male population that includes.
"We're hiding in plain sight."
I don't know. If you can define "good man" then maybe we can find out.
@@elzoogYou are one very big red flag
What is the problem with 2, 3 and 4?
Well i get very good along with my boyfriend and he really respects me. He is also caring and treating me like a princess. We are in a fresh relationship and very young (about 20-21 years old) and we both are currently focusing on our career life and school. But once he asked me if i wanted to get pregnant and have children, i said “well i haven’t thought about that throughly, but i guess later in life i would like to have children” - He changed immediately his personality and responded “well i never want to have children, if you ever get a child from me i would throw you down the stairs and leave you or dont care about it” - like WTF? I couldnt realise if its a joke or not (he laughed about it but didn’t apologised). it did made me really uncomfortable. Because, that made me realise, that is how he would treat me if we would accidentally get a child, he would leave me alone. When he responded,He seemed like another guy i have never met. I got the feeling his immature and single friends might caused him to answer like this. few weeks later we got in to a random conversation and we laughed, he unexpectedly said “if i had a child i would name my kid […]” i am really confused..
I disagree with #3 , I don' t think it is bad, there is a point when enough is enough and you need to let the other person know before you reach the end of your rope, i' m forward and a good communicator and I basically said #3 and then some to an ex, putting up with someones continual toxic drama is not healthy, they are the red flag 🚩 NOT the person speaking up.
Well being cursed at all the time was red flags to me
My father did that - only called me by my name when he had an audience. The rest of the time, it was a string of insults.
Glad you twigged, and hope you walked. (Harder when you're seven.)
My ex boyfriend compared me with his other girlfriend apparently shes is better than me. I told him please stay with her because she’s better than me. I honestly made him cry 😭 because he knows I’m the best but now he’s my ex
Were they tears of sorrow, or tears of manipulation? Just curiosity - you sound well rid of him!
good decision.
he's probably comparing next poor soul to you now
"You're not like all the others. I trust you."
I'd run so fast ...nobody tells me who to trust I decide.
Anger is a natural reaction to any violation of love. Its ok to be angry and sin not. Same time conflict resolution requires 2 to agree with what is good, right and wrong or evil. If a woman is being disresprful or antagonistic and already nicely communicated then damn right she the reason got angry. Imho. Nobody should tolerate lies, manipulation , malevolent or sadistic behaviors and be a push over.
Here is one. I don't like wasting my money.
Yep.
My dog needed vet care. "You spend too much money on that dog."
"THAT dog? Bye!
If it flys, floats, or fornicates, rent it.
Depends on the situation, some.ppl don' t spend as much and they save more that' s not necessarily a bad thing.
Yes because if a man believes he's wasting money he shouldn't be with you if he sees you as a gold digger That is for him to discern up front.
So insightful they apply to workplace red flags too! Thank you!
The problem is that they don’t show you any of this behavior in the beginning, they will say & do what the hell ever to lure you in. Then this crap starts happening little bits at a time.
It's never too late to save yourself.
Good video. Many of us have experienced this in marriages and families. Sad but true.
The strange thing is that ain't I that said all those things to her... She said those, all those things, to me. And I came here just to see If I did something that was a red flag for everything has to gone so wrong between me and her... I tryed my best, I loved and still love her... It hurts a lot.
My childhood took place in an alcoholic, abusive, dysfunctional environment. It was as if I was an alien placed in this household and called out the abusive behaviour. To this day, I am reminded by my mother's favourite daughter that I am difficult to be around as I make people think. The other consistent observation is that I have an overblown sense of right and wrong. It's taken me a very long time to dissect these comments, and I'm happy to say I embrace this at the age of 71.
Thank you.
And sometimes they’re too drunk to remember wtf they said n deny everything- then u whip out the texts n emails n prove them wrong n be like- BYE!
My ex husband literally said the exact words in 2 and 5. As for 3, he never said "I wish you were more like" but he constantly talked about his old girlfriends and great they were even after I told him that hurt my feelings, he found ways to work it into a conversation. I think he got a kick out of seeing me upset.
Very useful, and if I may add, women can say these things too
I have one, you told him what you see him doing wrong and his response in over an hour after is, ^today marks the death of my son, and instrad i am met with a tongue lashing^ no accountability accountability at all, no addressing the issues at hand
Thank you this will be guarding me and helping me to find the truth in a relationship.
Been there completely. Glad I’m informed.
Very helpful. However, talking openly and truthfull to a narcissist for instance (who may use all those 8 sentences) is deeply damaging.
Only eight??? I thought there would be more…..
My ex husband would dismiss me with, “You’ve watched too many movies!” “You’re imagining things.” And, “let’s go on a cruise. I’ll push you overboard.”
The best part of your post is "ex". You are safer away from him.
You are a better person than I am."it's funny because I am.
I have been studying all these things.
Its been since 2003.
I have a narcissistic,mother(dead),father,(soon to be),sister cuz she could not change. I have no children because of my fear to further cause abuse. Lonely.
I am saying a lot.
I feel grateful that these words are defined today because they weren't there.which furthered the gaslight technique.
I am trying to be nice because I feel an urge to try all these on him😅
Better to just get out.
Just one or two of those red flags 🚩 means you are not in a healthy relationship. Leave as fast as you can 🏃♀️🏃♂️
I have been realizing, with (the vortex) that"complaining is outside the vortex.
So I keep swinging from wanting some kind of acknowledgment or sympathy or empathy to deciding what it is I Want and raising the vibration ao I can only attract and know that I am worthy and lovely and I deserve to be Happy 😊
And you do too,my loving ladies.Thankyou for all you have done.
I appreciate 🙏 😅
1:37 long into
In this video it looks at men being the perpetrators, but these are red flags that apply to every person in every relationship, friends and family dynamics too.
This will guide me in the future.Thank you for sharing & have a great day! Share more...😅😅😅❤