3 Things: Young mom feels trapped, daughter speaks on parent's relationship, Husband in FO Season
Вставка
- Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
- Young woman seeking advice. She has 4 kids, no income, and just seems drained.
#reddit #redditor #burbnbougie #advice
A woman shares her parent's relationship implosion. #reddit #redditor #cheating #infidelity #midlifecrisis
Wife shows husband that she can totally do life without him. #advice #marriage #FAFO #oldmanmojodojocasahouse
The first young lady is calling herself names bc she's seen how women act in the comments. Please understand how others internalize things, even when you're talking about someone else. Ppl share with me bc I don't beat them over the head with their situation. This first story and how she told it is a reflection of mean girl culture that lives for finger wagging.
She needs to reach out to someone in a non profit organization
Yes, the self depreciation made me so sad. I want to say, "you are valid! Your concerns are valid!" She needs a bestie or mom hug.
Absolutely! Not only that commenters bring her down, but the “relationship” she’s in are soul crushing. @ET.Montana suggested that it would be good if OP had a gofundme. If she’s willing to do that, please share it with the community. Shelter and gofund me are the only 2 options I can think of. If she could go to her parents, she’d probably already leave him. Hopefully there’s someone from her area here who can reach out directly, so at least she has someone to talk to in person.
@Burb she should first change up the way she is speaking. Not judging her, but her husband is going to come for her kids custody to control her behavior. He will be quick to point out she has expressed "ideations" and "she is crazy" to the largley conservative Texas courts. If she has any writings on or offline expressing her despair, erase, destroy or hide them well. If she wants a fresh start, let him have custody and figure something out for childcare. She is unemployed, so if the ask for that 23% child support, good luck.
If she is looking to escape with her children, I have founds several resources in the Houston area after a quick net search. Anyone of them should be able to assist with an emergency support order being drawn up for the Courts. The order would be served on his employer through the State of Texas. The state's child support division should issue her a debit card if she does not have a separate bank account or direct deposit to her personal account I believe. Her husband makes $8k per month; there he should probably have to give her at least $2k per month until a final order is issued. I am just ball parking. She should definitely use her phone to take pictures of financial documents (wage, bank, mortgage, insurance, etc) on her phone and save the docs to a protected device (flash drive), cloud, and non accessible electronic folder. She will have easy access to print or provide copies as necessary to those assisting her.
These are the organisation I found:
HOUSTON AREA WOMENS CENTER -
hwc.org
FAMILIES TO FREEDOM
This is a directory of Houston area shelters
familiestofreedom.org
Helpline- 833/903-safe
American Family Law Center (free legal aid)
7324 Southwest Fwy
Houston, TX
americanfamilylawcenter.org
214/949-1000
HOUSTON VOLUNTEER LAWYERS
1111 Bagby St
Houston, Tx
makejusticehappen.org
713/228-0735
This young lady is not ready to call her coercive "relations" with her husband, what they were, grape. She states she did not want to, he made her. He has continously kept her pregnant to trap her and limit her options socially, professionally, educationally, and financially.
Hopefully the above resources will help her pivot, and get assistance in housing, financial support, child care, employment, and mental health.
The lady with 4 kids needs to go to her local texas workforce commission office asap. She needs to go on monday first thing in the morning. She should try to get an apprenticeship. Earn while you learn. They can also help her with other resources.
TWO WEEKS after giving birth?? My son is 20 and I distinctly remember being told to wait 6 weeks before putting ANYTHING down there. Her boyfriend sounds like a disrespectful brute.
This is how males think and behave. They don't think anything of women giving birth or even being pregnant. They think it's no different than pooping. I h8te this for women. I want more education for everyone regarding women's bodies and the support we need. This society and culture are brutal towards everyone, but especially women; which is why there's no support for women. Thank goodness women are learning and pulling away.
In 2001 they also told me six weeks. Idk if that's still standard, but probably. On top of the outward physical issues from the prior birth, that's a good way to get pregnant again, and fast. (Had to look it up) within 3 weeks, even if you don't have periods back you can get pregnant.
@@C-SD he may have heard that too and was in a hurry to set another baby trap.
@@IndomitableAde yeah, I was thinking the same.
Yeah 6 weeks is the normal time line given to women after birth.
Honestly, I believe it should be more, but since we live in a Patriarchy, men’s sexual desire generally supersede women’s need for rest and healing.
It's so weird how men will just turn around and hate you after getting EVERYTHING they ever wanted from you. It's actually insane, really. If they hate women so much, why be anywhere near us? Leave us alone.
It's actually not insane. If you allow people to treat you like you're nothing, people will betray you, even parents and kids betray when you have no boundaries. It's high time, women needs to stop blinding trusting men soo much and marrying young isn't a flex it's just stupidity, and have kids without any financial independence. It's a sad situation, hope she gets the help she needs.
@talkingtochapri That's true, but alot of hard lessons have to be learned, like how to be heartless with males and those that identify as them and with them.
That part
@@lovelydeath04 All these stories just keep proving over and over that most males are "incapable of love."
A lot of them dont like women it is about social status
Like having a good car
Living alone with cats sound glamorous 🤦🏻♀️
Truly.
I'm doing it and it's great.
@@malindaallen718one day, I will get two cats on my own 💃💃
yes but no cats for me
I wish more women knew of the dangers of dating older men
My husband is 15 years older than me and we are happily married with 3 kids. Been together over 15 years. It’s not about age… it’s about knowing what you want as an individual and what relationship/family you want.
@@mamamua4644Older people are more capable of manipulating younger people, that's the problem.
I was one of those women who would put women who are in abusive, horrible relationships down. I grew up in a household where my mother was treated like garbage by my father. I resented her for keeping my siblings and I in that situation. I wished she would leave! Since watching your channel, I realized that this is a trauma that I have not dealt with and I was taking the resentment for my mother out on the ladies who post their stories. Thanks so much for educating me and helping me realize that I need to address this.
Sending love to the lady in the first story. You CAN do it. You will be fine and I am going to keep you in my prayers.
Your story about your mom reminds me of my relationship with my mom. My mom married a guy that was on drugs and our life went down hill. I was angry with my mom for taking us through all of that.
As I got older, I realize that my mom did not know how to leave. Her parents were married and his parents were married and encouraged my mom to stay because “that’s how married life is” and would not provide support if she left.
The important thing is that you see your mom’s humanity and forgive her. She could have been staying for you kids or financial reasons. This will help you get a better relationship with your mom and help you get through your trauma as well.
I’m praying for you!
Thanks for your comment ❤
I didn’t realise I was projecting..
I’ve been harsh towards others and myself too
I know better now 😊
@LetYourGirlBee thank you so much for your kind words. My relationship with my mother is awesome these days. I love her to the moon and back. She taught me so much! I see that she stayed because she didn't have the confidence to provide for us on her own. She sacrificed herself so that we could have a better life financially. It is my goal to spoil her and be there for her now, in her golden years. She has a better life now. She does what she wants and enjoys herself. My Pops is still around, but my siblings and I confronted him about how harsh he was with her. He took the criticism very well and has made changes. We also had to have compassion for him as he had a rough childhood as well. It breaks my heart the way my parents grew up. I can't erase their pain or the past, but I can love the heck out of them and appreciate the good things they did for us.
@ruthmchuwen I love this!!! I love how us women talking and sharing is helping us and making us have breakthroughs! I will keep you on my prayers. You got this!
Why would anyone hate the victim of abuse rather than the abuser himself...?! It's beyond me... 🙈
I’m sorry, I would leave him with his 4 kids and he can be the primary parent, and I’ll be the weekend parent while I get my life together. Baby girl is 25. She is still very much a child.
My thoughts exactly
Yes, maybe not a child but she's young. I feel for her. I hope she finds a way out.
I was a young trapped mom and a "married single mom."
Internalized misogyny is pervasive and takes years to unravel.
No it doesn’t- these men just eventually humiliate y’all so much to the point that one day.. you stop caring.
@@AmberColeman-gq1wn- Do you know what internalised misogyny means?
Damn these stories are never ending with abusive men and trapped women…makes glad that I decided to leave men and relationships alone. Just listening to these stories is traumatizing enough.
I feel so bad for the first woman, I can tell she’s been through a lot of verbal and emotional abuse because she called herself names so many times 😢 I just want her to know she’s not “stupid or dumb,” she’s just a person down on her luck in a bad situation but that doesn’t define you…
I’m a Counseling Student, and sis @ 3:33 is showing signs of distress and needs to secretly get with a therapist and get a safety plan and exit strategy. If she can get to a shelter or a community women’s center or even a hospital, she can ask to be connected with a social worker and get help for her and her kids. Get help sis, do it quietly and quickly. Sending you love.
First woman- leave those kids with him and get yourself on your feet. Sounds drastic and harsh but you’re at your end already and willing to end yourself. Nothing worse than permanent deletion.
This was my thoughts as well.
I totally agree.
Wow, I really feel bad for her! 🥺 He kept her pregnant to keep her from leaving. He’s already hit her once & is R wording her, she needs to form a plan & get out before the abuse gets worse. I would advise her to go to a shelter; at least she would get help with her kids while she looks for a job.
How do you keep someone pregnant? I mean,there are female forms of birth control.
@@sharonharris9782 she probably thought/ hoped she was building a life with him.
She is also in an abusive situation. Don't expect her to respond the way you think she should, that part of being an abused person.
@@summerstar8299I'm sorry but I don't buy that crap. Nobody is ever forced to get pregnant, unless you've been raped and that's the consequence. This doesn't seem to be that.
@@sharonharris9782she doesn't have any control of the money or her body, she can't chose to go to the doctor's without his knowledge and she can't deny him her body as he just takes what he wants
@@Blaublahblue excuse me? That's called rape. And then you call the police. Wtf is wrong with you that that's an excuse for any of THIS ?
The first story:
Women's domestic v*olence shelters will help with all of that. They can help you with everything including long-term programs to help you get self sufficient. They also have counseling services and group therapy. Not going to sugar coat things it will be hard and they have a lot of rules, but most of them are for safety and a healthy environment. You can do this. We all need help sometimes and you are doing what's best for you and your children by leaving before it gets worse.
For the young mum in the first story, your story sounds exactly like my story with my ex. He did the exact same things to me, I left him when my son was 2 months but we got back together a year after when my ex claimed he changed. Things were worse, the abuse and cheating was worse. I contacted a DV agency and they helped me get out of thr situation, I owe everything to them, i found a job and have arranged child care for my son. It's been 4 months since I left my ex for the second time and life is hard and busy all the time but it's better than being with an abuser and cheater. The cheating is just to stroke their ego because of their insecurities, you and the kids deserve better.
You got this! I don't even know you but I'm happy for you and proud of you. Never underestimate the power of baby steps.
@@aysyaw6038 wow this means a lot to me! Thank you so much! Each time I left him I had to start from scratch because of the financial abuse too. I have been living quite frugally and even managed to buy a new luxury car end of last year, and my ex has tried to love bomb me because he sees how much better my son and I are without him, and I've been keeping my distance cause I don't ever want him back in my life. He is poison.
My ex was similar to the husband in FO season. It took that one comment and I was off and running and never looked back. He tried love bombing me for a while but what also follows is they go back to who they really are. I guarantee this wasn't the first time, it was just the first time she called him out on his BS.
Yep
The first woman. The first thing you need to do is stop being so hard on yourself. You aren't dumb or stupid. You need to detach from him emotionally so he can't hurt you that way. You aren't the problem, he is. I just googled from the uk for domestic violence support. There's a 24hour helpline called safe. Hopefully they can support you in making some decisions and point you in the right direction to make a plan to move forward. In the mean time, say nothing to him and carry on as normal. Your head is full and confused right now, which is why you're feeling this way, but this too shall pass. You need help,so reach out to the professionals, that's what they're there for.
The first woman story is so heartbreaking. I wish she had a gofundme! She is in my prayers 🙏😢
Yes! This is a brilliant idea! Hopefully she’s reading these replies. Maybe Burb can let us know what her gofund me is once she sets it up. Her bf is mad abusive in every way, she is actual danger.
Yes, I starting putting money aside to donate to abused women’s go fund me.
Absolutely, I'd donate. Maybe B&B can set one up for her so she can maintain her anonymity.
I think she should gather a few essentials and documents, pick a time when he is sound asleep, and go to a women's shelter. Arrange for them to pick her up, leave the kids for him to deal with. He has the money to pay for a nanny. Depression and anxiety as bad as she described is crippling her ability to think clearly. I have been there. She is in survivor mode, and needs help from professionals to straighten this mess out. Her kids will be okay for the time being.
Also have thyroid problems that make her be tired by default, she need medical help
She would have to confirm with the shelter first that they have space for her. They usually do intakes and sometimes do not have a bed available for a woman and her family size.
You say that but if you’re not a mom you don’t know how overwhelming the guilt of leaving kids with the other parent is… women are judged for the littlest things, so imagine a mother.. also in those situations with shelters you can get in without a kid depending on HOW dire but it’s guaranteed you get priority if you have kids (in good shelters)
Because you would leave your children with a neglectful father who slapped you once. She should leave, but letting that guy alone with the kids will only result in parent alienation at best and mistreatment at the worst. Also, how would the court react to a mum just leaving her kids? You don't want that guy to control the narrative.
This could backfire on her to losing custody and access to her children altogether. But if she can't get out with the children, then she should leave them behind for now. Just know that will limit her access to resources designed for single moms.
I feel so bad for the first young woman. She needs to go to a woman's shelter - now!
Lady in the first story: let's focus on getting you out of your situation, because it doesn't seem like you can do anything for yourself or your children while you are still stuck there. If you can, try to get to the Houston Area Women's Center. They offer a 24/7 phone hotline, shelter, counseling, and other services. If you need to start taking a dollar at a time in secret from your husband to get yourself bus tickets, please do it. We love you, girl, you got this. One step at a time. 💙💙💙💙
I’m so glad you asked people to be compassionate towards her because I swear some of the comment sections are so harsh and mean.
Like my family they will be like well get a job and get childcare and act like it is as simple as just saying it not realizing irl that’s much MUCH harder said than done. But thank you for that!
If I were the first young lady I would straight up start stealing his money. $10 a day for a year and then on day 366 I would leave. Go to the shelter while filing the child support and when you leave sell some of the stuff in the house!
That's 3k, not enough for an apartment deposit and first months rent in this economy.
@@amberinthemist7912not to mention you need to have a job and rental history to rent any place. And you can't have more than a certain amount of people in your home. So would she even be able to afford a two to three bedroom home by herself? I feel for her
And if he'd hit her for just giving him the finger, what do you think he'd do if he discovered she was stealing from him? Men are really unhinged these days. I'm not saying that she shouldn't do anything, but that's not the way for her to go for her and her children's safety.
@@amberinthemist7912 that’s why she is going into a shelter after saving it while also putting him on child support. From the shelter get a job then get a place to stay. She has nothing right now so I think $3600 will be a nice cushion at the shelter
@@amberinthemist7912 I think it also depends on the location, I’m basing it off a place my younger brother was able to get last year for $600 a month. In Maine. This year he has his own place with his spouse. I know it’s $600 because I sent him $1200 as the amount he needed to get it.
I must admit this was based on being a Jamaican and Jamaicans looking out for each other type of connection though.
I just wanted to say, thank you so much for speaking out about the name calling that women/people get when they try to get help during abuse. The dehumanization victims experience keeps us from reaching out. This is a deep rooted societal illness that it takes everyone to heal.
Yessss leave without him having any indication and let the children stay. When he wakes up to those children and she is gone, he will go through a heap of things inside and still blame her. She has every right to look after herself. Throw your phone away bc he will be calling you nonstop. You aren't healthy enough to deal with himor your babies😢. He will manipulate you into coming back and it'll get worse for you. Runnnnnnn and hide press charges right away
The last guy wasn’t so bad. He realized his situation and is fixing it. Smart man
I’m so glad that you made that PSA about the mean spirited comments. I used to be that person and then something came over me. It’s more easier and productive to just keep things to yourself if it’s not going to be helpful. Life is hard already. It’s no point in trying to kick somebody down. Because it hurts when it happens to you.
The videos you upload make me understand that marriage is not a healthy choice for women. I am your same age and I decided a long time ago that I didn't want kids. The sad part is... I know that I would be an incredible wife, but quickly came to the conclusion--after listening to men, watching their actions, and crossing their paths-- that I am not married because I have not crossed a counter-part that was truly worth the investment of energy, love, time, and so on.
Animals and plants are the way 🪴🐱
I don't think being called a cat/dog/animal lady is an insult. Animals are loyal and plants are quiet.
Yep, my plants thrive. I'd like to get a cat or a small dog, but I'm older and I have to consider life span now.
I know an associate who stayed with her cheating bf because he was paying her nursing school tuition. She said she made sure to protect herself but her goal was to finish debt free. She did it
And then dumped him, right? 😂😉💅
@@HunterLvyiXIII of course
@@jdeux3677 hell yeah!
"my wife used to include me in the parenting"
The last dude is basura.
He needs prompts, routine and reminders to do the bare minimum of being a parent and husband.
He'd have left his kid drown in 3ft of water coz He's busy whinging to strangers online instead of being proactive.
He'd have left his kid at the piano lesson coz He expects his wife to text him to tell him to do such and such.
He's a burden
The first young lady should wait til the bf is at work, gather up whatever she can pawn, and head for a shelter. They will help her apply for the support she needs. It will be hard but healthier for her and the kids in the long run.
Our sister in the first story is suicidal and needs help. Does anyone in the area know of the needed resources? Lord, please help her.
I agree. My heart breaks for her & it doesn't help when strangers continue to tear you down when you are already at your lowest point. I hope that she gets help soon. Her babies are suffering too with that sorry excuse of a human being that she lives with.
Recommend that she gets a job at a daycare that way she can bring her kids to work with her
Ohhh. That's a great idea
@@BurbNBougie she should also look into becoming a child care provider herself and have the ability for a couple of working moms to be able to drop off their kids at her house. Providing her home had the space for it.
@@qiaraoneal7047 plus once she has enough money together, upgrade the home for more space and leave him to it.
For the first young lady.....she would have to start looking for shelters in her county. She won't be able to leave that county due to custody issues. She would need to look for long term shelters in her area. If she really wants out I know how to go about it. Unfortunately, in Houston shelters and housing is near impossible. I know because I tried getting into one myself she is in a tough pickle. She could get a P.O Box for starters so all her mail could go there. Don't confront the guy about his cheating stuff. She can file for child support and flag the case for family violence. I know of other housing programs that take a 1-3 month waiting time. But, with no income she won't be able to pay her bills. They help with the first three months. She could try to pursue housing with a college campus. She may get lucky to live on a off campus apartment she would have to coordinate with staff. She may have to contact the Salvation Army get on their waitlist. Other shelters are only night basis only and you have to wait in a line to secure a bed which is a scary situation.
I used to feel bad that I was never married. But not anymore for years.
same!
Story 2 is a good example of how you don't marry a man who hasn't grown up and accomplished things on his own/ for himself. He has been envious of his wife's financial independence since before they were married-- she owned her own home and never added him to the deed...This is why you should never let a man move in with you. Move in with him or buy/ rent a new place together. Men will always feel emasculated if they move in with you-- even if you are ok with it and they temporarily pretend to be as well.
Facts!
Thank you for helping women. You are making a difference
Story 1 NEEDS to call a DV number and go to the domestic violence shelter with her kids NOW. She will get a social worker and will get help to move forward ftom there. DV shelters are not as scary as they sound. It sounds like the only way out for her.
The young woman who is trapped, there are remote jobs that need chat support.....no phone is necessary. In addition to chat support, there is also transcribing that does not require the phone. Both are independent contractors and she can schedule her own hours.
She can even be a virtual assistant depending on the tasks. Have her do a search for non phone remote jobs. There are plenty out there. She will need to think outside of the box to create income for herself. There are remote jobs that are can work around her schedule. It might take awhile to find that perfect opportunity but they are available. Right now, she needs a way to make money and finding a remote job that doesn't require phone support and where she can schedule her hours should be priority for her. Most of these pay on a weekly basis and allow you to work as much or as little as you want. They don't pay a lot but it is way to get some quick money. Does she have access to a car? Door dash, uber etc are also good options as well.
I hope the last lady ends up leaving. He's so clueless. He thinks his wife is doing all the childcare and housework to prove a point due to his verbal abuse and there's no tension when he got home from work. Yeah right. He just doesn't feel the tension.
He will forget these lessons within a week and be back to his old self again.
Or she could, you know, become a daycare....keeps her home with her kids+other kids and lots of richer moms can't work because they don't have any daycare/someone to watch the kids so she can work. Say put an add in any expensive coffee shop near a fancy office, doesn't matter what kind they all employee women/men with families..
Work only the hours you want/days you want and as a plus you can say "oh cindy needs me there super early so before she and her hubby go to work they will pick me and our kids up and drive me to their house to watch all the kids and will drive me/our kids home after they come home.
If he doesn't want you to take the kids(and i bet he won't last more than 2 hours with them without you there) with you to work well then, just happily exhale and smile telling him "oh honey i knew you would want to spend some time with our kids and i will gladly leave them home for you to play with them, here is the food they like, here are some cut up veggies for the older two/three of them, here is baby food and when to feed the youngest etc.etc.etc.
If he says why would he, just remind him how much you adore him and your family and are working to help pay for things for the kids, him, and you. Open a bank account with your first pay(ask family you are working for for daily pay for first week to open account/get a mailbox preferably in the next town over(when you ask what your pay will be ask for a little less and make it a part of your job for them to drive you to your bank/mailbox at least 3 times a month. And after you have it take home half your pay in cash, have your check deposited directly, tell boyfriend they pay you in cash. Buy shitty boyfriend some super expensive food/drinks/video game(he sounds like a petulant child , for him, a few books for the kids and say slippers or something cheap and small for your self. Whatever cash is left cheerfully hand it to him, kiss him and go make dinner/snacks.
If he wants to have sex tell him you had a lunch time gyno appointment and that your doc says you have some penis destroying lady infection and if you even spit on his willy it might never work again as it's throughout your body,(or blame it on some super uti killing medicine/treatment). Go in the bathroom with a small tube of whatever(tear off label before you get home, tell hubby ,doc gave you damaged sample, as in the ripped label)so it was free even this month, go in bathroom to apply and fake scream through clenched teeth.(don't actually apply anything other than water, hold your breath or run in place until you are flushed and sweaty. Come out waddling and weeping with sweat through clenched teeth that you are sure glad you only have to do this for another 6 months or more when in the old days it was not curable. I bet he moves out before you have to and let him be the side pieces problem.
He is going to hate how much child support he will have to pay. Request he only have supervised visitation...tell the judge about the rape two weeks post baby(and honey it was rape 100%).
FYI: A woman can have a hole the size of a dinner plate in her uterus after giving birth....thus the MEDICAL reason to not have sex for 6 weeks....thus i would classify the rape and intentional attempted murder and i would ask the judge to help you protect yourself and your children from him, ask for a no contact/protective order for life for yourself and also the kids if he doesn't get therapy and supervised visitation until he grows up/takes parenting classes and AND one of those courses where rapists and victims speak on what happened /why they did it/how it affected their lives forever kn say the next 6-12 months, ask for full and sole custody because of his psychological abuse, financial abuse plus the rapes and sexual abuse..
Worst case you get relief from him, go apply for help from welfare asap, tell them about the rapes/abuse etc. they know all the organizations that help poor women/abused women & children. Apply for housing with HUD asap as well tell them the whole thing as well(with 4 kids and a violent abusive father with no money/family to help you would go to the top of any list to get help so say welfare for 6 months to get you on your feet, HUD should kick in about then and a judge will make him at least pay child support as the county/state is paying for you and his children so he has to reimburse them.
Wishing you a strong will (as he isn't going to like any of this and will lie/give you gifts/try to degrade you when you refuse/maybe attack you) because you can 100%do this. Your children's lives and futures depend on you, their mother being strong. Oh you and the kids will get medical insurance from the state as well. Get you and your kids into therapy. it will free or nearly free. Now you can have doctors appointments over the phone.
Just imagine the days in the future when your healthy, happy kids are graduating school/go to their first dance/get married/find a decent partner/have kids or not. it will be you that helped them do it all no matter how hard it was you and they will always know you did everything you could to make their lives better...odds are they will never speak to him again, and he won't care, but again you and they will be the winners in this fight.
Hang tough, imagine your ex getting pegged by a horse anytime you see him/hear him/hear from him and just laugh and laugh!!!!
She has 4 babies and an abusive man. These are good ideas for AFTER she gets into a shelter program and gets a home.
I'm loving your longer content!
I have to, girl. I get so many stories to share. I have to combine them.
Workforce solutions to get jobs, get on birth control if you can get for free. Go to a domestic violence shelter and sue for child support
Once kids enter the abusive relationship picture the woman's life is over it's done,, but I support any woman who would get away from the abusive man and the kids leave it all behind, or if she stays her health is going to decline so badly
Several people brought up him "talking her into" having sex within 2 weeks. This is way more common than it should be. Some "men" don't even wait 48 hours.
You can get pregnant 3 weeks postpartum. A lot of women think if your period isn't back you can't get pregnant, that's untrue also.
Also, ffs people!!!!!, breastfeeding is NOT a contraceptive. You can absolutely get pregnant while breast feeding.
This is how you wind up wih "irish twins" (2 kids born within a year of eachother). My aunt is only 10-11 months older than my mom.
My grandma was a whole ass trip, though. 😂 she got pregnant on purpose so her parents would "have to" let her convert to catholicism, (from judaism) because now she was pregnant and must get married. She had no interest in catholicism, just wanted to marry him. (This was the 50s). She never really cared what religion. Every time she got married she converted. Think she was technically methodist when she passed. The pastor or whoever obviously did not know her at all. 😂 I still remember (from '96) "she was a gentle and kind woman". No, not in the least. 😂 She was pretty rough around the edges, her life was hard from day 1. She was not one to harass anyone or be cruel, but her name was Karin (pronounced karen) and if you crossed her or mistreated her kids you'd get the full blast. 😂
Ohhh noo i am so Sorry that you have to go through this shit and feel bad about how he treats you. You Are self blaming, minimizing, and shamed.. I Hope you get out, becourse its not your fault, its acually that you Are groomed to take abuse from home. I am sending you love and wishes of a bright future. ❤❤❤❤
These men keep forgetting that women do not need them. Women want them. Once a woman taps into her abilities (hence men trying to prevent women from handling their own…1950’s) there is no stopping that woman. Women are very capable of taking care of themselves without a man and they know that. Men NEED women, women DO NOT NEED men. That will never change no matter how much men talk. 😌
I saw a thumbnail of some manosphere video that said "men can be alone, women cannot be alone". When it is absolutely the opposite. What is it with these guys and their need to project?
I think the best thing for her would be to go back to her parents and put him on child support. She can also leave the children with him and run for her life.
I vouch for the second choice. He makes 8k; that’s enough to take care of his children. 96k a year. Since he wants to have more leverage, then he can deal with those kids. The courts will probably consider that.
Said she can't go to family
@@cherishoneal9108I was thinking the same thing. Let him have those kids! I would move out with family, without the kids. Watch how quickly things will change. She can work, save money, get her car fixed, get some free mental health counseling and plan next steps. Let him figure out childcare.
@@cherishoneal9108most women don't want to leave them with their father. It would be the best uno reverse. The run for her life like a fugitive would be best
Then she’s abandoning the kids and he will use the legal system to f her beyond repair
I want to hug this young lady and tell her that this too shall pass. Just hold on sis better days will come🙏🏽👐🏽🫂
Same. I gave her the links and a mom group link in Houston. I hope she can find help.
I hope that first lady got some support and good advice from people in the Houston area. She's very isolated right now and needs help!
I understand living in this world as a woman and wanting to see an end to the torture. For many of us, there's no escape. There's no support or understanding. I wish I could truthfully say it gets better, but it usually doesn't. We just learn to suffer in silence
She needs to go to a woman shelter or a safe house she will.get a case manager and they will help her get back on her feet that's what I did
She really needs to go to a woman shelter. It’s not a temporary fix they help women in need. Housing, jobs, governmental assistance till you’re able to get on your feet. She needs to call the abuse hotline and let them help her out of that situation.
Education is KEY!!! She needs to get a quick license out there. I am a dual licensed esthetician. Estheticians in Texas have a lot of advanced techniques that are covered under our scope of work.
She can make a killing out there with hard work and diligence! And the licensing education process fast! Less than a year to get educated test and get the license 🥰
Another very lucrative career in the industry is Laser Tech. You can use this certification to add to your license or just come out as a medical esthetician! Again the program is less than a year.
The Aesthetic profession has been helping me to heal myself. The industry is about wellness so all of your fitness/ wellness goals can be actualized at a very reduced rate. Not to mention you will be surrounded by women who care! Best wishes
With the first lady i would say apply for low income apartments and go to human department services and apply for cash assistance and food stamps and health insurance. Tell them your circumstances they can help you get child support and may be able to get you section 8. They usually pay for childcare also and have programs to help with job search. I wish you all the best❤..
Ma'am if you don't give that man his kids and go get yourself together for you and your kids. You need to fight for you life and kids lives
The first lady! She needs to get mental health counseling, go to a shelter and use health and welfare to get on your feet. Its hard but she can do it. ❤ Most of the time those shelters will give you resources to help you get on your feet. And because you're in a abusive relationship, you will be a higher priority. And sometimes you have to look outside of your city or state and find another place that will give you the resources you need to be able to start your life over. But I think number one is getting some mental health services as well so that you can find the courage within to be able to make these moves.
20 and 26 yeah bf is a predator
The first woman should leave. She may have to find a dv shelter and an order of protection. She can definitely take the kids. It's hard, but having to be in that prison in her home is not good for her. He can also take care of those kids. Lo are the days women should be single mothers, let him be a single father. He's capable, making lots of money and he can find a sitter for the children.
Women are so scared leaving the kids alone with their father. She needs to be free.
If she can find a local church she may be able to find a support system. Plus it could help get her out of the house
The lady with the 4 kids and no job and the narcissistic husband that slapped her needs to setup a gofundme to get out of the situation and then she can have money for childcare and a place to live and food; set the gofundme to what she needs and move out; maybe she can start 1st by working at a daycare and maybe her kids can go there for free or at a discount until they start kindergarten and then maybe she can work at their elementary school substituting or a Paraprofessional
With the first woman, I think we meed more info on the "no family" situation. Unfortunately, people are often just estranged. Even if her parents weren't great to her as a kid, she's an adult now and can probably defend herself better. I also think almost NO ONE on the planet WANTS to live with FOUR small kids that aren't theirs, but I think family would be willing to help. Even some strangers/acquaintances too if they think you're really struggling.
“No family” means just that. Living with or depending on family is not a reality for her. Saying she can “defend herself” after she already said she is mentally unwell, is counter productive. She needs a safe space to process and heal from what she has been out through. We have to stop minimizing the issues that cause people to go no contact with their family. There is always a valid reason even if you don’t think it is.
@@lovelyloner The reality is that sometimes you have to choose one hell over another.
@@lovelyloner If I'm remembering the video correctly, she mentions thoughts of driving off a bridge. Thinking you have NO options is worse than realizing you DO have options, albeit one that might be temporary misery or an injury to pride until she gets back on her feet... Or until the kids are grown, worst case.
@@Sassayyyyy best to go to a shelter in that case. It will give her access to childcare and counseling.
Omg
That first story breaks my heart
Having kids and being su*$idal is even harder
Resources take so long
Maybe she can start a gofundme and we could come together to get the word out so that she can have a cushion while trying resources like a shelter...etc
I care about you sis. As someone with an immune disease, it’s not your fault
For the 2nd lady…leave, put his ass on child support, there is child care assistance in every state especially in Houston. file that and food-stamp and housing , go to a shelter. She sounds Hispanic
That young mom can secretly contact a shelter. They will help her prepare to leave safely and start her new life. SAFETY first, dear young woman.
Always love when you mention the old man Mojo dojo casa house Burb 😂
3. It seems to be that he is going to do these actions until she comes back only to slowly ween it back round to his laziness... there was clues in his language and I hope it's just me reading too far into it but I think he just needs to be left.. Nonetheless, I do find it a good thing that he is at least able to see the mistakes he is making and hope that he is better at correlating his behaviour and the reactions of his exhausted wife. Cause one thing I DO know she is, is tired
Lol I think the dude with the wife doing it all without him is trainable and they can fix their marriage. He was already putting in the praise the dad for anything level of kid raising. He can max up to actual equality and they can redefine their dynamic.
15:48 how much you wanna bet it was way more than just ONE stupid comment that broke her.
Chile I would leave the kids w/ him & go to the shelter for a few months. Then come back & get them.
Story 1.If your parents are still alive, ask to go back home. Leave in the day when he is not home, and plan your exit in private. Do not give any indication that you are leaving until you are actually gone and in a safe place far from him. If you have no one or place to escape, go back to school online into some type of fast-track trade. License vocational nursing, medical assistant, Certified Nursing Aid, etc. You can leave with planning and focus. I believe in you.
All of those jobs would require her to work outside of the home. She has 4 children 4 & under. She needs to look into quick tech degrees. Like taking up an online community college course or maybe apply for Per Scholas . They have a guaranteed job placement program for all of their graduates. That way she can work from home.
The First Lady needs to go to a women’s shelter and they will walk her through everything
The first woman can you set up a gofundme account for her? Maybe some people can donate and help her . There should be places she can get snap benefits or other programs for emergency shelters .
First girl needs to leave alone. Let him take care his kids and you go live your life.
I love that the moral of the story is: He doesn't want to end up alone in the mojo dojo casa house! You keep me so entertained, BnB. I love your channel! ❤❤😊😊🎉🎉
While tbe first womans story is heartbreaking, her situation is mostly an emergency because of her mental health. He may have hit her once but her life is not in immediate danger. With the money he gives her to make grocery purchases, she needs to start buying gift cards and money orders and hide it on a separate receipt. Hopefully he doesnt check the bank statements too carefully. Also, she can drug her kids to get them to sleep for at least a couple hours while shes on the phone, or shell have to just let them cry in a separate room. She needs that job even if her kids cry in the background. Even if she gets fired at least she'll have a paycheck for a couple weeks of work and she can continue that until she establishes a new routine for her kids to become more independent. She also needs a PO box for tax documents etc. Hopefully taking these steps will help her to feel that she has some agency over the situation and soothe her mental just a little so that she doesnt give up. She definitelt cant leave right away, but the highest priority is to save some money. Poor, poor girl.
He’s r*ping her. That’s imminent danger. And the uncertainty of when he would hit her again is no way for her to live in her already fragile mental state.
But I agree with working even if she eventually is fired. Drugging the kids is a no. But any paycheck she collects is better than none. There are remote jobs that don’t require being on the phone all day. She can do reviews, surveys, be a virtual assistant, transcribe, etc.
Seeking out a shelter would still be good. But if she wants to plan and save a bit first then she can based on how badly things escalate. Only she can monitor and gauge the severity of the threat to her life.
The first story: if she really wants out she will get out. There's nothing more dangerous than living with a man like that. It's only a matter of time before he beats her into submission. It would be best for her to find a woman's shelter that handle domestic violence so they can help her and get her on her feet. She thinks it's a temporary solution not understanding they can help her get her life right. They will help her with childcare and getting a job. The thing is she has it in her mind that whatever avenue she takes won't work. If he's really that bad she would GET OUT. My mother left my father by any means necessary swat got involved and all of that so if she really wants out she will find her way out. Heck she don't even realize she's being SA in her own home by her BOYFRIEND. There's no legal ties here at all so if he decides to up and leave her for another woman she won't get NOTHING. She better start praying to the good Lord cause he's the only one that can see her through. I bet once she gets outta this and heal, she won't go through this again cause she will see all the flags on the play and retire him early out her life.
Praying and telling women to pray is completely useless. If it were at all productive then she wouldn’t be in this awful situation because she could just pray and it would stop. The woman’s shelter is good advice because they can help her start a new life.
She’s gonna be ok that First Lady tell her she need to start reselling . Try selling items in her home or make home made coasters . She gotta start stealing from that man also . Just a little at a time .
I remember when I was married. I suddenly got high Blood Pressure towards the end. And I knew like this is not it? I didn't know what I had I but for sure. I know it works on my family. But I just never had it. Some things can trigger your health to go downward. And whatever that is you need to get rid of it.
The internet has made me realise, that few people are in good relationships. What first attracted a man to you, they end up hating your for it. At this rate women should approach relationships as a way to build first,then fall in love. There is nothing more attractive then being in a relationship that always you to prosper.
One ☝️ more suggestion, not trying to drop any names for the sake of it in the comment section, but there is another woman on UA-cam right now that goes by the name of simply Stephanie she have a lot of resources. She does a lot of videos, giving black women or women in general information about certain resources, if them And their kids are in need this message is for the woman that you spoke about in the beginning of the video 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Damn... this first story just makes me want to cry! 😢
“She didn’t send the children down to say goodnight…” he has two perfectly good legs but it never once crossed his mind to climb the stairs of his own volition and say goodnight to his own children. If she has to manage even that, no wonder she is done with him.
1º If she had thyroid problems must go to the doctor, is not normal be tired all day, the treatment usually is easy, are pills of thyroids hormones, she must be strong and healthy for leave this situation. Also must have birth control, and IUD or the 'arm chip' that have hormones if he husband don't let her take birth control. Also could tried taking iodine supplement, could help, but medical assistant never must be take behind. also she could use medicals appointments for search help outside and birth control
First story that young lady needs to find some work from home opportunities for employment on You Tube, start saving money, quietly plan to leave and then file for divorce. The amount of abuse and disrespect by her husband is devastating. This isn’t healthy for her or her children. Let that trifling man enjoy chasing tail. Get therapy for her and her children. She shouldn’t waste another year of her 20s with him. The second story she needs to file for divorce period! He doesn’t think she will leave though. Third story he’s mad because she’s decentered him and she finna divorce him it’s over sir.
Does the first lady have a cash app? Im from Houston as well, but in San Antonio. Id help her! How to get in touch?
The First Lady can file for social disability and speak to her doctor about it.
I hope the lady that is trapped with a narc -She get her plan her money and away from him in her own time a🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽
If she has a vehicle she needs to leave to a shelter and do doordash or similar she can have her kids on her while she does that and/or get herself to a liberal/democratic state she will more easily receive government assistance to help her… she can also apply to low income apartments and wait until she gets called up and just leave when one opens up for her, she can do it she just needs some strength and guidance
Story #1... go to the store and get milk without the kids and never come back 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️ men do it all the time sis.. let these men have these kids
Right. Walk off. She needs a plan and birth control.
First young lady, is there an older grandma figure you know, in the family or community. Who doesn’t have any males in the house and is a solid moral woman, who can babysit for you?
This will be a start can see if she can give you the first two weeks as volunteers time.
This is what I do, for moms and young ladies, like you, in your situation.
Unfortunately, I’m not in your area, or I would come running.
🙏🏽
Been watching your vids for awhile and never thought I would comment but I am Houston! If this person is in the Houston area she nned to find out when and where public transportation is near her. Start of by asking or taking 5 dollars here and there for left or Uber. There a place where my BFF got free housing and a program to help you get a car. The car one is God' s Garage and the housing one I forgot. Call 211 for the Houston area for any assistance including shelter.
For the first story about the girl stuck in the house 🏡 with the kids 🧒 👧 what that man is doing is financially abusing her and the worst part is that she’s being financially abused by a man that’s not even her husband what she need to do is forget what he’s saying go somewhere and get a job so she can try to get the babies in some kind of daycare or get some assistance from the government to get them in daycare And then work on slowly moving out of the house from him but I know she would need some assistance doing all of this, so I suggest that she called her emergency assistant number for her state each state has one here in Ohio where I am that number is 211 some places it’s 411 I don’t know where she lives at but she needs to find out what her emergency assistance hotline number is and those people can give her all the resources numbers to resources that she needs 🙏🏽
Burb, for the young woman in the first story, is she able to contact a legal services organization in her area? When I worked in legal services, there were attached resources for housing, food, and healthcare.
So her first message was at 2:13 in the morning When I woke up I started messaging her. And she responded back around 6:00 in the morning I wonder if she is busy. I have sent her a couple of messages since then. But I will give her all of the information that people have been giving me. Plus I gave her the links to the videos that I've made. So hopefully she can look into these comments that people are making
The last story, honestly... "my wife is not sending the children down to meet me". Do you live in a basement? Like most men on reddit?
I see hope with the last one.
For the first scenario - I wonder if she can get a job with an employer that offers child care. It's unfortunate that she lives in a conservative state, because that often means less available resources.
Contact the women's shelters anyway. They can help you form a plan to leave. They can also direct you to other services that may be helpful.
story number 2, cause yall got number 1 with all good advice........this is why i dont see the pt in marriage out side of the legalities...u can draw up contracts that can cover the finances and keep it moving....the father mentioning how he never had time to do anything reminds me of how women scream that so i feel him....i dont think the parents should get back together....but if they want to date and or be friends...they are adults if thats what they want so be it.....i feel the daughter in aspect of not wanting to see her parents back together...i didnt want my parents back together after i watched my dad hit my mother and i was glad they never did go back together......marriage is never going to be beneficial to me outside of trying to achieve financial security but i do say this to the ladies if u want to be that u need to practice dating men in a higher tax bracket lol dating a man that is making less than u or less than 130k a yr is not worth sacrificing ur mental health...u can find happiness in solitude
Give her the adsense you make from telling her story
That wife isn’t in crisis, she woke up.