4 Things: Dating, Being a Step Parent, Projections by Men, a Foreign Wife Being Pushed to Give BJs
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- Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
- Ok. So I know I usually do 3 things, but I just came across such good posts I had to make it 4 today.
1. A man talks about his experiences in dating
2. A step mom talks about opting out of parenting her step daughter and why.
3. A woman laughs about how men are projecting their loneliness onto women.
4. Very serious story of coercion and the pitfalls of being a foreign wife.
#marriage #burbnbougie #storytime #reddit #divorce #Redditor #stepmom #stepchild #stepdaughter #redditor #reddit #aita #passportbros #peepeebros
1. Military
2. Baby daddy
3. Obsessed with his height
4. Poor introspection skills
Wow, what a catch! I wonder why he’s still single?
@@anonymousa-uy1hk 💀💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm curious what he's texting women. His thread title suggests it's probably his expectations of what a woman who dates him is supposed to look like and a list of weird requirements to meet.
@@PandoraBear357 I would like to know the same thing. When he talked about his standards being too high, it automatically made me think that he's a big corn watcher.
Working out and holding a job is something to do for yourself, to stay healthy and have an income to buy groceries and pay the mortgage. Why do they need to receive a wife to be motivated for things they are supposed to do?
Exactly, like that’s soooo much pressure on the wife. Having to keep yourself and husband together. Women have been doing this for too long
apparently 🐈 makes the world go round - for them!
I think there was a Maria Davids video the other day about how they’re more single female homeowners than single men. One of the videos had a guy he who said that men typically only buy houses for women whereas women buy houses they want stability. I don’t know why they don’t have any senses like self agency or drive…
👏👏👏
Thank you‼️🙌 They are supposedly the leaders and built all the things, but they also demand coddling and access to women on demand as both the motivation and the prize for adulting? No one can make it make sense.
Coercing someone into sex acts they find disgusting and intolerable is RAPE. Not him being a jerk. I hope someone told her this!!!!
This right here!
THIS
yeah, that's straight up ABUSE!!!
Honestly, he comes off as entitled. "I make good money, am tall, and in good shape. Where is my promised 🐱🐱🐱🐱!?!"
Perfectly said!
Somebody sold these clowns this 6ft, 6 figure lie, and they'd rather believe that than work on themselves. Back in the real world plenty of men who don't meet that criteria are very happily loved up.
That’s the only reason they see for them to adult in life, like my guy you don’t want a place to live, food to eat.
A lot of guys really think that's all they need.
"If I don't get 😼 I don't see the point of having ambition or working a job"😂
If bj was so important to him then why didn’t he tell her that before he married her? That sounds like manipulation.
The fact that he says he has a child and has never been married means his standards aren't extremely high. He's a baby daddy just like a bunch of men.
This and the fact that he’s never been married at 42 but has a 18yr is a red flag because u never met any women even ur child’s mother u didn’t marry that’s a 🚩… most women expect u to be at least divorced but never married is 🚩🚩🚩… he’s doing the bare minimum working out making above 50k since most make below is standard issue and Military and law enforcement men are a red flag …
Did he ever say the kind of women he goes for? This is the exact kind of dude looking for women in her 20s with no kids.
He shld ask his son’s mom what’s wrong w him. She’ll tell him …. if he can bear to hear it.
Plus he is post wall.
@@amberinthemist7912 And also now that they want abortion banned, how do they think they're going to find women without kids? Have they answered that one yet?
The 1st guy sounds boring, all he talks about is his height & salary. Sounds like he has no personality. The stepmother needs to step back from her husband & his daughter. He wants her to do motherly duties but doesn’t appreciate it & throws her under the bus instead of being firm with his ex. For the last story, PPBros want virgins & conservative women, but they also want them to be a “freak” in the bedroom. She needs to find a way out.
That's what it is. Bro has no personality. I've met so many dudes like this on dating apps. If they're not talking about that boring gym crap, all they're talking about is how you look amd seggs
I would just say yes and be all teeth every time. Maybe take 2 bjs from me and he'd never ask again.
I bet his texts are dryer than catered chicken 🥴
His salary isn’t that great
Not the AH. Some men want the step mom to be a mother in title and actions (cooking, cleaning, nurturing, etc.) only, no authority. Been there done that.
Thats because they often can't be trusted with authority. So, yes, walk away......and the funny thing is how much men will rag on single moms wanting "help". But it is the single dads that want someone else to do it ALL.
I noticed that back when I was a kid, remarried fathers of my friends had their new wives do it all and even back then I was wondering why those fathers weren't doing more for THEIR OWN kids.
AKA the "Eldest Daughter in a Big 'Traditional' Family" syndrome.
The step-mom is NTA. The dad is the AH for not standing by his WIFE and going behind her back with the ex! She reacted the right way. If she’s not Sally’s “real mom”, then she doesn’t have to perform any “mommy duties”, and hubby and Sally can turn to the bio mom to do all this.
She is a perfect example as to why childless women don’t want to date men with kids. Men are quick to talk about how “they don’t want to pay for another man’s kids” and how “they don’t want to be disrespected” when he tries to discipline. Well, it goes both ways. There are women who don’t want to be a mom to another woman’s kids, and women don’t want to be disrespected when they try to discipline.
I bet the first guy is as interesting as a piece of plain paper. In fact, the paper probably has more utility than him. XYs act like there’s a guide book to getting a woman or that they are owed a woman because they are 6 feet tall with a job 🙄 Just be yourself. If you get into a relationship fine, if not then fine. Better yet, just leave women alone.
Also, no current or former military 🙅🏾♀️ and no cops 🙅🏾♀️
Exactly, and definitely no police or military⛔️ From personal experience, they tend to be crazy as h*ll !!👀👀
The common theme amongst a lot of these men is they feel they are entitled to women based upon their “successes”. They are not working hard for self fulfillment but to see who they can get. That is sad.
The pettiest part of me wants to ask the very first guy: how many wonderful women did you pass up? Maybe you should get a cat!
That's the petty part of me. The best part of me wants men to be healthy, stable and connected emotionally and physically.
😂😂👌🏿
Ying and Yang. It's good to have balance. 😂
Men like him have a specific type and skin color, ask me how I know. Dating where I live makes me realize that I’m not ugly, I just don’t have yte skin or non-black. They want women like me to be okay with being used, while the same guy who was lying about not having time, never took you out, not a phone call, want to text you only, pulling teeth to plan a measly date. Then he meets the dream girl, suddenly not only he knows what to do. But claims her within a month. Men are so 🚮, if I’m not good enough to be claim, good enough for him to proudly stand next to me. I’ll stay alone, I won’t allow a man to use me, he’ll have to wait for his trophy for that.
I was the loneliest I've ever been while married. I'm not even a cat person and I would take a cat over another husband any day.
Mr. BJ did NOT divorce his first wife because she cheated.
The current wife needs to find a lawyer/legal aid and tell them the whole thing. He thinks he has her where he wants her because she's naive and doesn't know our laws. She can fix that.
l Agree 💯🤔🧐
The foreign wife should go to a lawyer. The sex stuff and using her citizenship as a bargining chip could be criminal and she may qualify for DV asylum. This wouldnt be the first time immigration has had to deal with this.
He thinks he’s the prize and that’s why. Sir behave like you know she’s the prize and you will get different results. You think you’re better than women that’s why they aren’t dealing with you
Hint hint we don’t date men for looks tf
I love how the son realized that going against mom wasn't a good idea since his dad wouldn't even remember his birthday without the mom lmao
He just realized that mom is the person that cares about him the most
You mean stepmom which makes it even more impactful.
I’m so happy for them
It’s amazing that social workers, mental health clinicians, and other low paying social service jobs also have high levels of stress and danger but don’t have the same high DV rates that military and police have…
It's because they are care related fields that address the issues from a place of compassion instead of violence. Social workers are required to go through continuous personal care and have regulations to keep them in check. Cop unions have fought against the type of regulations that would keep them in check and non violence programs.
Most care takers are single widowed or the 🌈 community
Tbh, empathy is nonbinary
That's an excellent point, and very enlightening
These are great points!! It’s also so sad that those incredibly valuable and necessary jobs are not paid at all what they should be, and are less valued in society. I think that’s part of it too, along with what you mentioned, because guys with a god complex or need for power want the social status and hero worship given to cops, military and firemen, whereas social workers and other social service jobs don’t have that stature to them. (Even though they are certainly the real heros!)
Social services, mental health and other low paying social service jobs tend to have more women doing those jobs.
She can report him for abuse and still get her green card! I suggest she speak to an attorney, under her situation she may be able to get one for free!
Yes, there is one category like that.
Yes, it’s called a VAWA Self-Petition (Violence Against Women Act). Please speak with an immigration attorney who handles VAWA cases ASAP!
@@GoOutsideToday2024this is good information. Thanks for sharing 👍
It’s very saddening, many new immigrants do not know their rights. They don’t think they have any rights 😢
@@candylove49 this how these men wanted it to be! To make them think they have no resource here except him.
Cops : Beat , Firemen : Cheat , Military : Murder
Ooh, I've not heard that one, but I know enough people to believe it
Wow
WOW
I really do know one cheating fireman and his brother is a wifebeater cop! Wow!
Actually they all do all the things you listed. Especially cops and military
"You'll end up lonely!" makes me want to answer, "I know your wife, and I'll take my chances with cats." I don't because then they'll be mad at their wives.
Some ppl just can't FATHOM how many ppl are happy being single. Or, they're miserable and don't want to admit the single ppl in their lives are happy.
I'm simply not worried about finding someone or not. It's my ex husband that's worried FOR me. I keep telling him having a partner is not the only way to be happy.😂🤷🏻♀️
Right now, Im living a lovely life with my mom and my young adult son. He's on the autism spectrum and is in Independent Living classes. I help him with certain things he needs. We both help my mom with things and he and I are the ones mostly taking care of the house and our two cats. We're a small and happy family and I'm loving my peace. My daughter, also on the autism spectrum, wants to come live with us when she's done with school.
@@Lokian_Mermaid 🙂💙 Sounds heavenly!!
It is a lovely thing to come home to a home exactly as you left it and days that are predictable. I have 2 dogs my boyfriend has 1 and I have no interest in living together. Heck, I barely like sleepovers! Love you but go home, your dog can stay though 😊.
@@Meow4B exactly.
“I rather end up with cats than a man like you”
Straight up told one of these 'You're going to have cats and a one bed apt and drink yourself to sleep every night' guys to stop threatening me with a good time.
He got mad, said 'Thats sad then.'
Got even madder when I said 'You're saying if I steer clear of men I'll suddenly have enough money for a place of my own, a cat, enough expendable to get black out drunk every night AND wont have to deal with your bullshit? Fuck yes.'
Hey ladies! I'll be pulling around with my bus for us to travel in style and comfort down The Spinster Highway. Let's have a ball!
I'm gonna make a graphic!!
@@BurbNBougie
I wonder if Rolls Royce makes buses? 🤣
@@TKOin2life If they don't, I know that Mercedes does.
smoothies and smoooooooth sailing
She can leave him. Using your Americaness against your non-American wife is grounds for immediate green card.
This falls under violence against women.
She can leave now! He cannot stop the green card, the threat to do so has consequences.
He also has to support her for 10 yrs since he signed the documents.
That lady on Reddit has been seeing a SHERIFF on and off for years? Girl, he’s married!
For me personally, anyone in the military/police is usually an automatic no just because of the job and how often those relationships end in DV. Obviously not all, but enough that it makes me extremely cautious to even open that door.
Yup most end because of infidelity as well
Same! I could meet and click with someone well....but my deal breaker, hard stop, non-egotiables are being in the military or law enforcement (the only exception would be volunteer firefighter, but it'd have to be a stroooong once-in-a-lifetime kind of love). There is too much of a pattern to ignore and I had a (now former) stepfather who was previously military and they truly condition them to be controlling and violent in a lot of ways. The men who aren't are the exception, not the rule...that shows in the stats and many cases of DV and familicide popping up.
@@KristinaLopezWritesYES!! Usually they try to weaponize their relationships/ households like a boot comp/authoritarian type of way. I know women who have been stalked/ @bused by men within that field
@@KristinaLopezWrites : Same. No cops or military. I rarely meet progressive men who were in those fields and it's just a culture of violence and patriarchy.
Story #1 : STAY FAR AWAY FROM LAW ENFORCEMENT MEN, THEY'RE UNHINGED.
Story #2: If I Was OP I'd Be Working On A Separation. 🤷🏾♀️
Story #3: The Loneliness Epidemic Affects Men Far More Than It Ever Will Women. Their Friendships Are Failing, Not To Mention They Act Like They Can't Live Without Hunching.
Story #4: I Hope She Knows Thanks To USA Marriage Politics, She Can Separate From Him && He'll Still Be Legally Responsible To Financially Support Her While She Works On Her Visa.
Best part of Waking Up is BurbNBougie in my CUP!
☕️
🤗🤗💕💕
You ain't lying. I literally open the app to see if there is a new posts. I need another series like that George Saga.
I spent 2.5 hours doing chores this morning, and I am treating myself now to a cup of freshly ground coffee other my new coffee grinder and Burbnbougie video. Life doesn’t get much better than this. 😅😅
💯💯💯💯
Ikr. Listen to her every morning on my drive to work.
I want to own a cat shelter and call it the the Krazy Kat Lady Kat Kare!
I can rent the building beside you. I will open the Krazy Kat Kafe.😂
@@TKOin2life
And I will enjoy lunch and a coffee on the go!
@@TKOin2life im begging y’all to think about the acronyms for a sec 😭😭
@@catfish513😂
Hold on know the flag can be a 🐾 print w a ❤
@@Redskywinter204or a cat wearing the kkk mask.... With whiskers 😂😂😂
The first guy: I honestly think maybe he’s socially awkward or has a bad sense of humor or come off as misogynistic because I’ve met a lot of attractive military men but the personality’s are trash 🗑 they could have everything going for them but if they aren’t connecting with the women she’s not gonna pursue. And he even said he doesn’t chase soooo if he’s not showing a interest in the women she probably won’t think the guys serious about her. Military men also have a notoriously bad rep for being promiscuous. (Not necessarily a bad thing but women do take this into acct.) Also the dudes 42, if he’s chasing significantly younger women that may be why they don’t see him as an option for a serious partner
I think one thing to keep in mind is that men are VISUAL. So they keep thinking that how they evaluate potential mates is how women evaluate potential mates (hence the 666 rhetoric and unwanted d-picks).
How a man looks likely matters more to younger women, but once you have a bit more experience, its the character along with the rest of the package. As you say, making your height, salary and bodyfat % your whole personality is just a red flag for someone who likely just wants casual relationships
Funny you said : men "are visual" and yet they always fail to see the difference between naturally born women and the transformers.
How is that possible????
So many stories about men unaliving transformers because they found out after dating them so long that she is actually a he.....
VIsUAL right?? 😂😂😂😂
Story 1: what kind of women is he trying to get? He is in his 40s with a child, if he is trying to get a childless women in their 20s they would probaby say no and inwardly think he is ew. Younger women are (hopefully) now up to the game and don't want to deal with single dads. Even childless/childfree women in his age group do not want to deal with single dads. 80k/year isn't that much, so he's not the prize he thinks he is. And being in the military is the nail in the coffin. Sorry, but it's true. Living with a man who is mentally unhinged who is trained to kill? Yeah, no. I'm not saying this guy has PTSD because Idk him but that is the stereotype.
Story 2: her first mistake was getting involved with a man who has a kid. He was looking for a bangmaid and a babysitter. Men treat single moms like ick and we women should start treating single dads like ick too.
She should stop doing all the mom things she had bee doing. The girl is 17, she knows how to feed herself and get herself to band practice or whatever. Let the whole family (biomom, dad, stepdaughter) receive their dose of FAFO.
BJ Story: talk to a lawyer.
It's nothing to do with the stress of the job, just the entitlement and lack of consequences when commiting crimes that comes with working in law enforcement/military. A lot of jobs are more dangerous and more stressful without high DV rates as a result.
For the second story: she was a lick. Kid is almost a grown up now. It's good to cut your losses, but better yet not to fall for it in the first place!
For full-time military, there is a lifestyle, and you have to be willing and capable of dealing with all of what that entails. If not, it's not a good idea to date military men. Most service members do not stay on the same base for their entire career for example, so even if you don't start out long-distance, you likely will end up in a ldr within a year or two. There's also deployments. Than there is the high alcohol consumption rate of most military members and specific type of discipline that gets drilled into them. You're not just dating a person, you're dating a subculture of sorts imo.
Nursing is a high stress job. Is their dv rates higher? It ain't job stress!!! It's personality that causes dv and attracts them to those jobs.
Well you need a college degree and lots of years of training to be a nurse. Alot of people who join the military are genuinely losers who are about to get kicked out of there parents house. All you need is a high school diploma or GED, alot even have criminal records but get them waived.
I'd say yes. Most women who are nurses have abusive personalities. I always remember my mother always becoming agitated and particularly abusive in the hours leading up to her shift on days she worked
@@chorizoramen93 is that born out in the stats like it is with cops and military men? I'm not denying your reality but my point wasn't that there are zero abusive nurses. It was that we don't give them a pass on DV because their job is stressful like we do with cops.
@@amberinthemist7912 oh I agree with that. My ex is a cop and abusive and ppl do give them all kinds of excuses for their behavior.
Thank you!
The step-mom in this instance is NOT the a-hole. I happen to adore my ex-husband's wife. She is the best step-mom to our daughters that I could ever wish for, and we are close. With that said, I constantly am shocked by how much she does for the kids, so their dad doesn't have to. I think it's incredibly kind, but I wouldn't blame at all for saying no to any of this at any time for any reason. They aren't her kids. She just takes care of them like they are, and I am thankful.
I have a family member that was a police officer. They have an alcohol problem and mental health issues. They ultimately had to retire due to the mental health issues. They are one of the most caring, smart, funny people I know. I love them dearly but I acknowledge that their partners experience may not be mine.
Story 4 is precisely why pp bros will ultimately fail. Certain values come with certain behaviours that span across various areas in life. A woman who was raised conservatively probably wouldn't want to do certain things, especially if she has a religious background. The same beliefs that caused her to save herself for marriage and desire to be loyal probably made her abhorrent to bjs. If she bends to his request and breaks her own beliefs to make him happy she would instantly stop being the woman he married. Break one value and others will eventually break as well. But he wouldn't learn that until it's too late.
I hope she leaves him before damaging herself for him.
Agreed. Compromising yourself and your values is Never a good thing. Changing to grow is entirely different.
Exactly, in my country the Christian church says you can only have s*x in procreation purposes. BJ is a sin, using contraceptives is a sin etc. Having s*x after being sterilised is also a sin. Being sterilised is also a sin unless its done as medical emergency...basically the priests often say: Sex is a sin if its done just for pleasure...LOL
I question whether Mr. BJ has actually done cunnilingus for his wife? Has wife ever had an orgasm with regular coitus with him? If wife is not getting orgasms from her husband, then why in the world would she be invested in his orgasms/pleasure? Seduction & technique are far more persuasive than intimidation, a definite turnoff to women. If husband fulfills wife's needs first, she will return his needs in multiples.
I don't believe the wife cheated. I believe he did and wanted an open marriage!
This! I don’t believe it either. It was definitely the other way around.
I Agree 💯🤔🧐
She didn’t give him enough bjs
This!!!! He met someone so naive and inexperienced, he could spin any story he wanted.
Like I feel so sorry for the girl. You upheld your conservative values only to be played in the end. I'm sure he not even doing her right as is the case for most virgin women. For most women the man that took their virginity (married or not) will never do it for them. This shyt is so f***ed and sad. This why I tell women the greatest thing to lose is not your virginity but your MIND. We gotta be smarter than these fools and deal with them like how cats play with rats.
I would never date a cop, any person in the military, or firemen…. I’ve heard of too many stories and have seen the stats. I think word is getting around that they aren’t good partners and often they are very abusive
Filling up the "about me" section on your dating profile with phrases like: blue eyes, 6' tall, and blonde hair isn't who you are. 😅
Women be passing out kitty like it's Skittles in the military.... If he ain't getting none it's definitely him
I have a nephew who is a LEO, and he's a lovely human; too conservative for my taste, but a loving and involved partner and parent.
On the other hand, and he would verify this, sometimes people go into LE because they get to walk around with a gun and give orders. You never know which kind you've got, until you know. And by then, it might be too late.
Why did I think you were talking about his zodiac sign 🤣
@@candylove49 lol! No, but he is a Virgo....
What's a LEO
@@mimi42428
Law
Enforcement
Officer.
One man's nightmare of being alone is another independent woman's dream & blessing of peace.
I hear what you are saying , but the reason that he leads with his income and his height is that the red pill has told these men that that is what women want. So it is mystifying to them when they are tall and have a living wage that they cannot find a woman. The passport bro at my job makes about double this amount and also has a net worth of well over $1 million. He is also tall. The other men at our job are talking about setting up a dinner as an excuse for an intervention for him. He probably needs an annulment. He has been married for 3 months and his wife refuses to be touched once. I don't just mean that they are not engaging in romantic activities. He has never once made physical contact with her. She used him as a come-up and spends most of her day out shopping with his money. So to me this is proof that being tall and having a good income is no assurance of love or companionship even when looking in poor and desperate countries for women.
According to redpill men, he's a Chad, and he got himself a "pure, sheltered, non-Western" woman, so hes supposed to be winning the game of life - yet he's miserable.
He needs to start twice a week therapy
@@DJRenee the men at work are planning to talk to him about it. We are going out on Thursday night.
I’m soo tickled. What are their demographics?
@@Girlintheewild she is Muslim Arab and he is black American
BnB, there’s a new law in India that can jail PPBros. It’s called “section 69”. Can you cover it?
Oh my. Let me screenshot this... Thanks
That woman in the end omg. Total sexual abuse hope she's going to get the info she needs to be able to leave. It's awful that there are so many of these men.
I'm in the middle of a huge saga myself and will be out soon. I unfortunately am a sahm and have to wait for my SSI hearing and win my case. It should be a substantial amount of money and will give me the resources to be financially independent and get out of this mess. We have a 5yr old and it's important that doesn't see any of the abuse anymore or experience her mother constantly trying to defend myself against a narcissist. I'm terrified but I will do what I have to do.
March 4th. My hearing date for my SSI, then there is a review of the decision which could take two months. So I have to hold on til then. We are not married so he won't be getting anything from my SSI. My daughter though will. We will be just fine when that happens. No more worrying about him and holding things over my head or making me or my daughter suffer.
Start your COUNSELING N0W!!! HAVE A PLAN A, B, C.. I SUGGEST MOVING FAR BUT among family and friends or a STRONG, SOLID RELIGIOUS COMMUNITY that isn't stuck in idealism. And I tell people to leave the country when possible. You need to be moving little by little that's not noticeable NOW. GET A PLAN... tell no one because your own family can and will undermine you. Some people volunteer in unassuming places just to find who they need.
My dad was a firefighter. He is a good man, mostly, he definitely has his issues, but he also has a sense of personal accountability that usually pushes him to act right. But I will say, firefighters have a huge amount of stress, see a lot of traumatic things, they tend to have mental health issues and substance abuse issues. They can make great partners, but they're pretty much all collectively traumatized. He told me as a young girl to never be a first responder or date one, I can understand why.
He married a conservative woman without discussing something he considers to be a dealbreaker (bjs)??? Why he’d even want bjs from someone that doesn’t know how or want to is silly anyway - it won’t be enjoyable for either one of them
, unless he gets off on subjugation. Ew.
He hasn’t healed from being cheated on and seems to be acting a lot of that out on her. If he’s behaving like this now, it’s only gonna get worse. Would he better to cut her losses, divorce him, and go home (for now) before kids are involved.
For the male psyche having a woman on her knees giving fellatio is an act of both domination and humiliation especially if he knows you do not enjoy it or come from a background that does not condone such acts.
Men like that tend to enjoy the control of making women do what they want. Even more so if the woman makes it clear she doesn't want to do it.
Even if they are an ethical cop, they see the worst that humanity has to offer on regular, if not every day basis. That will change your mental health and the spouse gets to deal with that on a daily basis without a break. I have PTSD and I know it's hard on my loved ones. At this point I save my trauma dumping for my therapist because I know better and have the tools to do better in my personal life. However, these women are not wrong for not wanting to be their outlet for their trauma or to become their therapist. I am not saying that they don't deserve love, but they have to deal with their trauma first. Most of them don't get help because they perceive it as a weakness or that they will make them lose their job.
That was the first thing that popped into my head for #1) Military? "Oh heck no." Then you pointed out the Jan. 6th connection that also reminded me of the whole sob story that Faux News did months ago about women not wanting to date or even communicate with men of the red hat supporting variety. Which men of those particular professions tend to gravitate towards and support wholeheartedly, yet they always want to date us liberated gals. SMH
What he seems to not be telling us is he may be coming off as entitled to a woman. He notes he is questioning his ambitions in his career, his physical upkeep and other things. Why mention those things and question choices you made for your financial longevity and physical fitness unless you think those are things that make a man automatically desired? What about character, personality and overall appeal? He needs therapy.
15:33 when a grown male starts saying that once a woman turns 30 she will no longer be desired, it shows their true predatory nature. They're basically saying that only women under that age are desired (not true because plenty of older men date women their own age) which shows how THEY SEE the dating world, they think only 20 year olds are desirable which is so gross they really need to stop and date women their own age.
Dealing with stepparenting issues ain’t no joke. It’s a thankless job.
I bet you that last story that the wife cheating isn’t why they got divorced
Wonder if ex-wife cheated because Mr. BJ was a total dud in bed?
So it hasn't occurred to her that Sally's dad was most likely using her to be his daughter's caretaker more than anything else?🤔
The first guy, is exactly what my friend used to do. He was a nice guy but he wasn’t making much progress. And we talked about it only to find out that he would go straight to calling the girls. I said fam… you cannot skip the texting stage. A week or two later he was asked on his first date ever. I don’t know how he is now but I’ll find out soon 😂
It’s weird that when discussing not tolerating mistreatment from a male, you’re automatically “doomed” to be alone or with cats. The gag is, they’re basically saying they want to be abusive with impunity. So the real topic is why are they okay with being trash? No thanks.
Now I've had a very complicated and difficult life, however, that life led me to take the rose shades off my eyes very early. My sister was a marine and her base was Camp Lejeune in NC. My parents were very strict, and she knew it. She suggested that she would look after me for the Summer so that I could have a bit more freedom. Remember, I was 16. From the very first night I arrived, I went through a shocking transformation about my idea of the military. The first night they hosted a lingerie party at my sister and her roommate's place. All the women were wearing sexy lingerie, the guys were in pajamas. My sister but me in a pair of regular cute pajamas. My sister was only 20 at the time. She announced to everyone that I was off limits as I was just 16 almost immediately. There was sexy music playing, people were drinking and dancing. I was very anxious. One of my sister's friends (a guy) stepped in to keep watch of me. She viewed him as a brother to her. They were very close. Random add, my sister was hiding a pregnancy at the time so couldn't drink. She was stone cold sober. Another of my sister's friends (a lady) was also supposed to be keeping an eye on me but she got WASTED. As the night went on, my sister wanted me to be more interactive and encouraged me to dance. I was shy, and kinda just did a two step. I can dance my butt off but I just didnt want to draw more attention to myself. I was very alternative. I had long red hair with neon pink tips, and I wore these temporary tattoo sleeves. I already stood out. At some point my sister got frustrated with me just standing around and pulled me over to this guy and bent me over so he could do this grinding dance. I could feel...him on me. Hard. I didnt understand why she did that. Then another man kept following me around telling me that he loved me. I kept trying to nicely decline. My sister had told me not to leave my soda unnattended and I did when she pulled me over to "dance" with dude. Went into the kitchen to get a new soda and the "I love you", guy caught me in there, pinned me against the wall and made out with me. My sister walked in and saw the tail end of it but didnt say anything. As the night ended my sister wanted to see if people wanted to sleep there so they wouldn't drive drunk. There were already 4 of us, my sis, her best friend roommate and her roommate's bf. The roommate's bf's male cousin decided to stay, while many others drove drunk. The lady who was supposed to watch me drove home drunk and hit every mailbox on her way out. We found her side view mirror in one of the mailboxes and they were bent the whole right side of the neighborhood. Everyone kinda laughed about it. Hoorah and whatnot. So then we all settled into bed and the guy who stayed waited for my sister and the others to fall asleep to sneak out and harass me seggsually. He was 27 and kept asking if I had a bf. I told him yes. He was begging me to let him "taste" me and stuff. I fended him off. The next day my sister took me on a tour of Camp Lejeune and everywhere we went the guys were pointing out that I was prettier than my sister. I could tell that hurt her. She would just say "well she's 16 so.." But it was like that didnt save me. The whole time I was there TWO men didnt look at me that way. One said he had a little sister my age and the other was just obsessed with his gf. The guy my sister saw as a brother even let me down, professing his "love" and how we had to keep it secret etx. He waited for years saying when I was 18 he would tell my sister. He didnt live that long and to this day my sister doesn't know. It would shatter her. But when I read his obituary he was MARRIED. Smh. I'm still conflicted about my friendship with him. I liked him in a brother sense and he was friendly and funny, but it just feels so different now that I'm an adult. I never felt romantically toward him, but he did kiss me when I was 17. That guy who stayed the night at the party harassed me the whole time I was in NC. He had a key and would say he was doing laundry but really just come by to mo lest me. It was ALL Summer. He basically stalked me and one time I actually hid and called a friend to calm down. Didnt trust military police. They protect their own. Anyways. Yeah I dont view men in general OR military men the same as I did before age 16.
I'm so sorry you went through that. Hope you are healing everyday.
Most of these industries with lots of men are sick, weird, disloyal and predatory. I worked at a car dealership at 16 and those blk men were all over the place. Keep warning others. Happy healing to you.
You're a great storyteller. I felt stressed and hunted just reading your account.
80k is not enough in Miami boo ijs but you the Man in Kansas.
😂😂
THIS!! I was just in Miami and saw this first hand!
@@Tigerlily_Fresh please send the prayer warriors to fight these prices!
People in traumatizing jobs are bad for relationships unless they are aggressive in caring for their mental health, and they tend not to be. Everyone should have a daily mental health routine anyway because we all have issues of some kind.
20:01 in my country's human sexuality class we had to learn about cross-cultural sexual behaviours. There is no concept of pre-maritalbsex, anal is abusive/abominable and just something no woman must do, African men don't have regular sex (they literally only went into "the hut" once or twice per month), we don't kiss/snog around here, give/get head is still not considered immatire prudish behaviour and divorcing over or sexually pressuring/whining is detestable pathetic behaviour. These things, we are socialized to understand, are signs of abuse and only recently are girls getting told "it's okay if you want to though."
I can't imagine being forced to or having to do these things.
I really need women to understand that saving sex for marriage doesn’t save you from anything; it’s just religious patriarchy, and having low/no body count isn’t any kind of flex; it’s just purity culture.
I was deep into it when I was younger and I did wait for marriage. Don’t do it. Even if it works out ok, it’s not going to make your relationship any better and will very likely make it worse. I’m starting to think I need to make a video telling my story because I’m always in the comments telling women to wake the eff up already
Religous trauma runs deeper than a lot of others because it's often conditioned from childhood and plays on existential fear. I also grew up in the church and I've since deconstructed, but I hae realized that I don't want to share myself with just anyone. It's tough to be both absolutely repulsed by anything to do with the church and mad of all the years wasted worrying/overthinking about these things and also glad I didn't just jump into something with just anyone as I've avoided a lot of potential heartbreak and dangerous situations by keeping to myself. It sucks but I'm glad more of us are waking up!
@@KristinaLopezWrites that’s such a great point, especially the part about existential fear. When you think about it, man basically invented religion as a way to explain what we don’t yet understand and to create/enforce a sense of order in the perceived chaos of the natural world. I can understand why a culture that is at the mercy of the weather would create a god that they can appease because even the illusion of cause and effect gives a greater sense of security and comfort than accepting that life is mostly chaos and coincidence. Modern problems require modern solutions, so if the new threat is spousal neglect/abandonment/ abuse, the religious solution will be to find fault in the victim so that we feel like their victimhood is self inflicted and therefore avoidable. We’d rather believe that if we just save sex for marriage/ choose better/ whatever, we can avoid the negative outcome we fear.
I get what ur saying but even though I got married young I seen how men are since I was 5 and had my underwear cut and sexual harassed and grabbed by them in my teens and still even in my 20s at first I blamed myself since I do have a bigger butt than most then when I was 26 and seen a therapist I realized me being slim thick have nothing to do with men not having control so if I can be a virgin then I know I deserve a virgin also cause men with no self-control are just disgusting honestly regardless of body type or body count don't give them the right to have access to you
I think women who want to save their virginity should do it for themselves, and themselves alone. I wish I would have stayed firm on my beliefs because I only got my PH balance screwed up and terrible UTI.
Yes, women should stay virgins for themselves and themselves alone. Anything other than that, you’ll be disappointed.
On the flip side, women should choose to lose their virginity for themselves and themselves alone. Anything other than that yourself will leave you disappointed.
I’m a veteran. With soldiers it really depends on the specialty. I was on the medical side, so the soldiers were more highly educated, the job isn’t as stressful (well, compared to infantry and battle-ready troops). Critical thinking skills are nurtured and encouraged. Medical personnel are also more likely to get mental health treatment, and the masculine bullshit is there, but not nearly as bad, as there are way more women in the medical side of the Army. I met my husband of 15 years while I was in nursing training and most of the couples we met in training are still together today.
Plus, we each had a combat medic in the house when our son inevitably had some medical emergencies. 😂
Oral sex is considered sodomy is many cultures still… and frankly considering the obsession with self-centred sex I’m not surprised - I feel so bad for that poor woman. Seems like the ex-wife cheating wasn’t just all on her
Thank you for the good advice & content Auntie Burb! The middle-aged older women must school the young ladies on the game out here!👍🏾🙂
No doubt
I'm in a red state, and at least from what I can see around me, more and more young women are not seeking to get involved with men, either casually or relationship-wise. It may not be a problem with this guy, he may be really cool. But it's just that the atmosphere and legal situations now are very chilling to a lot of women, especially young women. Yeah, they're being pretty selective now, and I don't blame them! Guys are going to be having a harder time, too. That's just how it is now. I think some men are therefore going to end up alone, and others may get desperate and settle for women who aren't very good for them. It seems like a lot of the tradwife types are mainly seeking men they can just pump money out of. But this is seemingly what men want, so...
Also, I came across a video by trans and many men who are transitioning and now lost their muscle mass and feel more vulnerable, are starting say they're afraid of men too now.
@@chorizoramen93 Yeah, sorry, but that’s just a whole load of bs that trans identifying males push because they think it makes them seem more like women. As far as I’m concerned, the fact they believe “woman” is an “identity” that anyone can put on and take off just like a garment makes them every bit as misogynistic as their non trans identifying counterparts. They aren’t us and they NEVER WILL BE US.
I took a "friend" or "caring auntie" approach when I became a step mom. I was clear and up font to the bio mom and dad that I am not and never will be a replacement parent. I let them know that I think they both are great parents who did a great job raising polite, respectful kids. I told them that since I was a professional nanny in my youth, I would take the same aoproach nannies do of letting the parents make ALL the rules with their consequences or rewards for good or bad behavior and that I would merely follow those guidelines whenever I was alone with the kids. I was also clear that I wouldn't tolerate any disrespect. I let their dad continue to make their lunches before work every morning, drive them places etc as he had been single for 4 years before we got together. So he knew how to manage his 50% custody well before I came along.
He wanted to be an involved dad anyway because he never had a dad. So, that worked great for everyone. The mom didn't feel threatened so she wasn't makibg the kids lash out. The kids didn't feel bossed around by me because I only ever said things like "Ok, your mom said you have extra homework tonight, so she expects you to have that done before dinner, so chop chop kiddos." I was kind, encouraging, and supportive of their emotional journey in life, so I was a friend and we were all on the same team in my mind. I kept most of my previous normal life routine intact, and just added in a few extra hours a week of extra love directed at the kids.
Spinster highway, divorcé turnpike. It all sounds like a fun roadtrip to me. At least I know where Im going and if I dont Im not afraid to stop and ask for directions.
Lol at divorcee turnpike. Understand that that might get made into a picture.
I was once on a literal road-trip with a married friend. After a long hot and tiring day on I-5 we pulled in at her house mid-afternoon Sunday - where her husband, working on a hobby thing in the garage, snapped at her to get to work. And she grabbed her bags and scuttled into the house so she could start housework - because he was the man of the house and the breadwinner. Me? I drove my Poor Pathetic SIngle Woman self home, poured a glass of wine and put my feet up in my nice quiet, no-man-in-sight house that I paid for.
At least we got the fun weekend in, unlike a previous married friend who had to go home early because Mr. Wonderful couldn't find a sock or something.
I'll take the Spinster highway any old time.
its because cops usually abuse their power
I wouldn't date nor marry a policemen and military men neither.
Responsibility without Authority is toothless, a sucker's game where you. will. lose.
There's a reason a lot of oldest-daughters in big "traditional" families swear they're never having kids or will stop at one kid. They've already done their time in the mommy trenches.
@@gardnerhill9073 yup. I gave 4.75 gallons of free sibling care, home care, firewood hauling, landscaping, laundry, housekeeping, cooking, homework help, grocery shopping, so no water left in my 5 gallon bucket for children. Yet* my parents were stunned I didn't want kids. "You were so helpful and proficient at housework! What'd'ya mean you're not having kids? You're so GOOD at it." Yeah, yeah, I HAD TO BE at you insistence and absence. You got your 4.75 gallons, leave me be.
That last one makes me so mad at him and so sad for her. He really pulled a "I want my Mary AND Madonna." He wanted her for her pre marriage values and now he wants to break her bc its the breaking her that's exciting, not the bj. Divorce, even if it ruins your greencard. Like there has to be better ways of being here in the states than experiencing what sounds like near spousal r*** with how forceful and how manipulative he is to force her into an act.
They think having a job and making a certain amount plus their height/athleticism are the only things they have to offer. He'd rather blame the supernatural than do the self reflection and work on their personality.😅
Thank you for waiting through the reddit cesspool. You're doing the lords work. 💀❤️
Damn! 20:00 if her husband is threatening the divorce due to no oral sex I think she can use that in court to protect herself. Educate yourself before you marry abroad.
This last storg reminds me of a rant my bio dad had a long time ago. He was going off because his ex had an issue with sleeping or not being readg on time, something like that. He compared her to me and my sister, wondering why she couldn't be ready and listen like we did. I said it was because he didn’t raise her, so she wasn't programmed the way we were. (Still not sure why I used that word specifically.) "I wish I could program her like y'all two" he huffed. He just sat there pouting afterwards.
Is he a conversationalist? Does he take interest in others. If he kind, is he affectionate, does he call a women, does he have initiative. Women do not go to men as many are scary and dangerous. Are you galient curteous? Women are literally actua scared of men for good reason proving you can be a safe partner is very important
Heterosexual men list what is most important to them. And, they are in varying degrees more concerned about physical attributes.
As for, military men, cops and firefighters I have a number of concerns. The risks of the job such as: death, ptsd, stress, and mental health issues. Obviously, you can’t prevent death from happening, but for the others regular visits with a therapist could ease or prevent things from worsening. However, kids prefer firemen because they sometimes know how to cook.
If this were Jamaican Reddit she would have already gotten advice on how you can file for your Green Card faster based on this act of abuse. I’m sorry I don’t know the name of the law but there are options she needs to ask in her community or ask a lawyer.
Domestic violence victims can self-petition for a green card by filing Form I-360. V.A.W.A. protections apply equally to men and women who have suffered abuse from a U.S. citizen or permanent resident.
1st story. He's made his height his whole personality. It seems to me the things that he's bragging about are things that he was socialized to value as a man. He doesn't understand why women don't value those things. I also second the comments about DV rates with these professions. I would never date another military man for that exact reason.
Step parent issue: This is why I caution women who get married to men with children (especially when they aren't the custodial parent) because sometimes their only motivation to being in a relationship with you is what you are able to do for them. Or God help you they might want to get custody because you're going to be taking care of this child. This of course is a plan that they did not see fit to share with you in advance.
Traditional woman with a predatory husband....I don't know what could be done aside from the obvious. It's appears to me as an American woman that their obsession with finding zero body count is deliberate and exploitive. It is seeing you as a possession and not a person.
A thing that they don't want to buy if it's soiled. It is also interesting to me that the thing that soils women in their minds is other men. It also seems to me that they desire to have a specific type of power over women and the easiest way to get that is to find someone who's not from this country. They deny their intentions the same way that groomers deny that that's why they are attracted to teenagers. It also seems to me that part of his attraction to that specific act is her unwillingness to do it I think he's enjoying the coercive element to his behavior and it's adding to the thrill of it for him as a sadistic misogynist.
I've had mixed family basically all my life. Funny that my first stepmom got along well with my biomom, but we were raised to respect her as a parental figure (and she earned our love and trust by being good to us). She ditched my pos father when she noticed he was bitching about her for the EXACT same shit he'd bitch about my mother for.
Both my stepdads have been amazing, mom got more careful with men after father. Sadly lost the first one but I still love him deeply cuz even for all his problems he was there for us and we were again told to respect him as a parent.
My current stepdad is just my dad, he treats us as his own and I could never dream of disrespecting him with all he's done for me even before he was dating my mom.
My mom wanted us to respect step parents and my biofather wanted control and to make my mother miserable by any means necessary. Give you 1 guess which parent I don't speak to.
Don't take disrespect from stepkids but keep in mind it is likely coming from one or both of the bioparents.
I find BJs nasty too, I always did it anyways, I'M NOT SAYING SHE SHOULD, I'm just reflecting on how afab people would do things they dislike bc society tells us we should. I don't know if I could do it again to a partner, should I? Was I disgusted bc they were narcissists or bc I truly disliked it? I need to talk to my therapist 😅
Lmao I KNOW for a fact that dude married her to not risk losing her in the future. He didn’t want some other man to get to take her virginity! He “found” her & felt it was only fair for him to be the one to have sex with her for the first time. But he didn’t consider that since she’s so conservative & has 0 sexual experience, that she would find some sex acts gross & inappropriate? 😂😂😂 It’s not her fault at all but I’d be wary of a guy proposing to me so fast after finding out I’m waiting until marriage to have sex. ☹️
Second story: I agree she should stop parenting, but if she stays in the marriage, I think she should explain it to Sally. Yes, the girl is acting stupid, but she’s 17. The parenting failure came from her father. So I don’t think the girl should be left to wonder why her mother figure stopped caring for her, thinking it was all her fault
Right. Everything on Daddy.
Why should she emotionally care for a daughter when the father told her she is not the mother? Let the bio mother do that work. She has no obligation to the girl anymore.
That’s why you don’t date parents when you’re CF …
@@raichutoyou human decency? I’m not suggesting that she should keep parenting, but you don’t get to raise a kid for years and suddenly check out without providing any closure just because you’re not in good terms with their parent. You can’t treat kids as trash just because they’re not yours
She's 17. She knows what she did.
10:00 why does she take care of the room and clothes of a 17-year-old?????
Teenagers can be real assholes. It's up to parents to correct that. And Bio parents need to stop USING their spouses as unpaid Nannies & Wallets who carry no authority!!
I used to work as an EMT on an ambulance. I would even avoid EMTs and paramedics. They all act like cops.
I would even go as far as saying that I would avoid emergency department nurses pretty much profession that works with cops periodically. I felt pressured into adopting the same icky mindset when I volunteered in the ER, but I didn’t.
Story #1 he is probably very attractive and has never took the time to work on his personality because he has coasted on looks.
Story #2 NTA
Story #3 I am planning on purchasing a property that is large enough for at least 2 more cats ( I have 2 already) and 2 dogs. The "threat" of being alone is not scary.
Story #4 I would report the abuse. Maybe the Embassy for her country can help her and she check into the Violence Against Women Act.
Not him tells people how tall he is 😂 like that advantage there.
18:21 🎉❤ Speeding down Spinster Highway! 😂😊
I hope that women with the sexually abusive husband divorces her husband. Then finds someone else to sponsor her for her Green Card.
I can tell he preyed on her from the start.
Everyone needs boundaries even with my own kids is tell them i can go on a parenting strike
My mom always told me she'd never dare date a police officer 😂 if he wants to he can use his power against you and he will
What the ever-loving F is it with men's obsession about their HEIGHT? I literally never heard a thing about this height thing till this past year on social media memes. Was that the 2023 version of the Tide Pods Challenge? Was it an Andrew Tate obsession?
Stepmom story: Wait, wait, wait, why the heck isn't a 17 year old cleaning her own room & doing her own laundry? Does she do any chores on a regular basis? Not the A-hole.
Why the father gave into manipulation, I don't know. He is teaching her that you don't have to hold up your end of agreements, that she is entitled to whatever she wants. Creating a monster.
The step mom story, yeah I’m good on that…WOW!!!
Oy, both my siblings are veterans - worse, my sister was Army Special Forces! After spending their 20s and 30s being obeyed at all times - Yes, Sir! Yes Ma'am! How high, Ma'am... it's shaped who they are as a person, now. Brother is divorced, sister (a lesbian) is terminally single. She complained about it once, and I said "I love you, but you're a fatphobic control freak with anger issues. If I were looking to date a woman, I doubt I'd be into that." It didn't go over well, as you can imagine 😅
42 y/o and never married, the biggest red flag of them all.
Maybe we should normalize not wrecking your life (and potentially someone else's) just to have a milestone marked off your scorecard. 🫠
When the dudes got height in their bio you know they are redpilled
That last lady needs to get a lawyer and file for vawa, which will get her the green card without the husband