I have had silence,and on Friday on the phone, acting like nothing has happened as if we are back on track, then he said he will come round Sunday and do work in the garden.!!!! ( Before you ask ,yes he is blocked on anything or every thing he could think of to contact me) will guy's and doll's, there is no point,he rang on another number.) So I told him no we are on lockdown where you should be,his words where I don't care about it, well he sure won't get through my door, so yes they are stuck in a bubble right now,and he can't get any resources from anybody,so they do check in to see if your coping alone due to lockdown, yes it's hard for us once a narrissict has done what he/she done, but you have to stay strong at a time like this, it's trying to get back in, want's to see if we've broken. Don't let them feeling your loneliness right now. Keep safe . Right now I'm going through it, and they like to play on your mind.😔😔 .
Guys the most important thing you have to understand is, you were not targeted or hurt because you mean anything to the narcissist. You or some other victim, narcissist don't care nor cannot understand what genuine human being is. They have this constant voice inside their head telling them "you are unworthy, you don't deserve anything" and they have built this "false self" to buffer that negativity and they need someone else to believe this "false self" so they can buy into it, otherwise they know it is fake and phony as 3 dollar bill. They need somebody, ANYBODY to believe the false self, to get rid of that inner judge bombarding them sadistically 24/7. They already have the most shitty existence and life of hell. You are lucky by being discarded, you are lucky by finding out this channel and learning about topic, stop worrying or feeling bad for past, forgive yourself and start to heal.
Exactly well said my co survivor God bless you and accept all your gifts now that I have had to have God break my heart to open my eyes and heal my soul my tears are happy tears thank you
Glad that I was able to give some back to community. Thank you as well, for your sincere and kind words. I was devastated and been there just few months ago and this channel, not just Dave's videos, even reading others' comments helped me a lot. I'm glad to give something back and be in service to this community.
100 percent accurate! This is why they are so thin skinned and lash out when we call them out on their bad behavior. We are exposing their true self which they know is not good. They can’t handle that so they do everything they can to deflect blame. I think the love bomb stage is them getting feedback that their false self is who they are (it isn’t) so it felt as good to them as it did to us. In this stage I think some of them can think they are “in love”. But They love the attention, the compliments and the idea that finally someone gets them when in reality the person they are pretending to be didn’t exist. They know deep down that once their true self is exposed this person won’t stick around, hence the gaslighting and mind tricks they play to keep the partner hooked to those crumbs they offer. They need that trauma bond to keep their partner addicted even when the partner knows full well this person deep down is not good.
You are not alone. I two wasted the 20 years...from 2001 until 2020 back and forth, in and out, break up to make up ( love bombing) and lies, deception ...even though he was devoiced from his wife and they had two children who are now grown....he was back and forth with her two. I never knew because ours was a long distance long affair and I was lead to believe he lived elsewhere in the small town they came from. He came up to attend to me once after I had gall bladder surgery. I was in my bedroom on meds while he seat in the living room all night watching TV and being on his phone. Caught him once on my computer checking put local sites of semi-nude women you could contact. I've been thru he'll and back!. Finally I learned about narcissism and he fit every characteristic to a T.! We're done now. I can't take ANYMORE And will not allow myself to suffer emotionally, mental abuse and spiritually like this from him ever again. You can do this!!
Can you pls help me I want to heal 😭 it was my 6 months relationship and he said he loves me and he can’t live without me but when he got to know that my family status wasn’t as big as my personality so he tried to get rid of me and he left me
Sashe Sashe understand what a Narc is, understand their thinking process. Check out Melanie Tonis. When you fully understand what they are and how miserable they are, sis you’re gonna cry for days to thank God for releasing you from the garbage. Understand your value as well, self-worth and self-love is frikkin CRUCIAL. SOOOOOO CRUCIAL. My father is a Narc so he puts me down on a daily but I stay in grey-rock mode and don’t take in his compliments nor his criticisms. I tolerate him for the sake of God. But relationship wise, I got out of relationship with a cover narc but I know the games. When your entire life revolves around them, you get used to it and stop caring. You understand the tactics and keep calm but keep boundaries. STRICT BOUNDARIES without ever reacting. I make the narcs anxious by being calm, it’s a power move. I was patient and I really want better for me. Went no contact and the cover narc reached out during quarantine. I expected it. I am not surprised one bit. They are needy and codependent (just in a different way). If you’d like to move on and heal, focus more on you than on narc. I advise to keep learning as you are now but also, learn how you can better protect your energy and have such high value that anything that remotely bothers you, you will get rid of without explanation. Strengthen your intuition and strengthen your faith. God is above wayyy above what you’re going through or have been put through. It sucks girl, it does... it’s a hollow feeling but acceptance is necessary there’s no way around it (this will make you strong) help you regulate emotions and better equip yourself for self-forgiveness for accepting such shitty treatment from a shitty ass person. You know better now sis and I’m proud of you for gaining knowledge. It really is power. The only way to fully move on is to want better, to understand you do deserve better, and that things can get better without them. Forgive yourself and never go that low ever again. It was never your fault, it was them. God bless you ❤️
My ex wife narc came by to drop our daughter off, we hadn’t seen each other in a while, I’ve been working out and developing myself I internally. When I opened the door to the house she used to live in she just stared, an empty stare. I seen the disappointment in her eyes. She seen the glow in my face, she felt my energy. I’m healing, restoring myself. I know she was crushed by the fact that she seen I was doing good. That stare was the stare of defeat. That was 11 days ago. She usually texts me every so often when our daughter is with me to check up on her, now she completely cut me off. Hahahaha, evidence that I caused a narc injury when she saw me. Keep healing guys, it truly is the best revenge
I can't face my ex and it's been a year. He came by the other day and I didnt answer. He has tried to see me a couple of times but theres nothing to see for me however I would love to see that look you spoke of. I envision him seeing me happy and smiling one day though.
This hurts like no other to find out, a person never loved you. I just feel like a total fool and humiliated. Someone is going to physically hurt them for this one day.
25 yrs my lie lasted... i never knew... am having trouble processing this in my mind ... but i now know he is text book covert narc.. lovebombing, abuse, discard... zero empathy, gas lightning, pathological lies , charm, everbody loves him... 4 yrs after dumping me and kids callously... he's now trying to hoover me back... coz hes bored with his latest supply...
my ex maglinat narzzizt will say i did not gave her love because i knew it and i destroyed her like they do to others lol, she will remember that someone gave her what sshe give to others
Yea it's all just a ploy and then the blame shifting starts before the discard and then the infamous " you're crazy " if you reach out for answers on why you were ghosted in that way. Sigh *
Exactly. They were discovered and want to use you temporarily. They will be working on finding new supply to replace you with yet again while hoovering you. They are busy monsters. Do yourself a favor and don't be a part of their demonic plan.
Just want to put this out there for anyone who may see this or be interested, but if anyone wants to buy storable emergency food supplies and have it shipped to you and be able to avoid the grocery stores, please let me know and I'll be happy to provide a link to where you can purchase this online.
I received my Hoover 3 days ago for the second time this year, he thought I’d be good to go since it has been 2 years. But thank God I no longer hate or love him and that’s the greatest feeling ever. You will soon get to that stage my fellow empaths who are still going through it,it’s a powerful feeling.
It is empowering to know someone else had and has his attention because, all ties are severed. I talked to God every night and morning trying to cut the ties. Now I don't feel anything for that monster, all stomach wrenching feelings GONE. We are all strong and can be delivered from this evil force.
Theyre gonna try to sleep with ya.. 😂 EXACTLY. That's all they want because having a conversation is just too much for them to understand. They can't stand talking about ANYONE except themselves! And by sleeping with us they know they still have that supply whenever they want. Then when they're done with you they go back to their other supply laughing at you for falling for them again. Stay narc free through this time!
How awful it must be to go through life with no life in your eyes and no love in your heart. It's really very sad.....however, we empaths should have no time for this, as we are wasting time trying to change someone who is incapable of it. They are aging us and making us grow cynical about love. We have to leave them and go NC or we will just keep growing more cynical. Break the cycle!!!! Thanks again, Dave!
Kerry you should NEVER try to change anyone regardless. It's a fruitless effort. Accept people as they are. Now with that said, this doesn't mean accepting an abuser in your life and deal with. No remove the abuser and no you can't change this person, NOR is it your job too.
OnAJourney I understand. When I was involved and realized it was like talking to a brick wall. Totally emotionally exhausted. I just stopped. It was not worth my sanity any longer Boy the reaction I got from him overtime.
@@USNBLUE What I meant by change, I meant getting people to have actual adult conversations when problems in the relationships are brought to light. Narcs either blow up in a rage or in my particular case, sit there staring at the floor like a 6-year old after spilling milk on the ground. Guess I should have been more specific.
I absolutely see a resemblance between a toddler and a Narc. Give the toddler a new toy. They play with it for a little then dont play with it anymore. The narc is the same. They get bored easily! They move on to the next thing!
@@janetweller5790 ...I believe that is one of the traits - if not 2 of them..."sounds" like he just tattled on himself too..(shaking my head as an understanding adult) Lol
@@janetweller5790 my ex narc would make hand jesters when he wanted me to slave for him to bring him something to eat just like a toddler would do before they learn to talk.
Narc free, 1year! Last Friday, he texted me from a new number...good morning, will you ever unblock me... Me: NEVER!!!...didn’t respond and deleted the message! Thanks Dave! Your videos are 💯
I left him, he drove me away after nearly 3 years of verbal and physical abuse. He would drink then start a fight. He has hoovered me 3 times, I caught him hoovering when we were still together. He is now blocked on all social media. The last time he hoovered me I was stronger, the tears didn't work, he was pathetic. He realised that he had lost the control over me. He will try again but every day I am stronger.
Our two stories are very alike Julie. Verbatim. How strange the whole circus was!! I, like you, are done with all of it. The meaningless hover means nothing anymore. Good riddance. Stay strong. We deserve better.
I discarded my narc on my birthday back in December and he was pissed. Two months later, he came back to bother me. I find it hilarious because I see through him now. Other than that, congrats Julie!
He/she sometimes comes back because the new suplly is not as good as you. But don’t take this to validate yourself. Stay strong! You don’t need such a validation. Don’t wait for them to fix you. Fix yourself !!! Thank you, Dave
I never tried to get back with him. Something clicked in my mind, when he devalued and discarded me. I went completely grey rock, stone face. I didn’t react to ANNNNYthing. Now,I understand why.
After a 1 1/2 years I got an e-mail saying “I feel it’s been long enough, we can have a friendship” I ignored this. Two months later got an IG message “why are you not returning my emails”. She always went through people like Toilet Paper “no pun”. Funny I thought with being home she has very little supply it’s just a matter of time. I was with her 11 years and it’s been 2 years almost and still not 100%. Great channel, thank you for your help.
The narc cannot comprehend when they no longer matter to you. Stay strong and know everyday you are further away from that pain and they are still in the same place.
My ex kept pushing me away because I told him I would leave if he didn’t change, and I finally called him out on everything. He became passive aggressive and cold with me because he said “I can not move on from you saying you would break up with me. It will forever be in my mind.” Four months later, the hoover comes. I found it funny because of how fake he is, but it also made me mad. They have no right to just come and go as they please. They push you and were so cold to you, and then return with no kind of remorse. They have no respect. If they really respected you, they would respect the boundary of the breakup. Disgusting. He’s someone else’s problem now
Yes! This is what I question alot. Am I suppose to forgive them? I've finally forgiven myself but don't know if I have forgiven him. If he will never change, never see me as a person with feelings am I suppose to forgive him. Do we forgive the devil? My mom often looks at me crazy when I Express my feelings for him, she says well I forgive him and I say I have too but I will never speak with him again. She just looks at me like that's harsh but she hasn't experienced my experiences with him. When he knocks in the door she can't understand why I won't see what he wants.
It just blows my mind how all of a sudden they are so nice and polite. Their new toy discarded them and now they are back for fuel. It is such a relief that we know all about their stupid games.
Hoover was within a week. I had cried myself to sleep every night and lost about 7lbs. I was exhausted. The discard was brutal. I did converse with him and texted a few times initially but I stayed strong. He became threatening and tried to scare me and so I blocked him completely after that. He tried to make contact in different ways for several months and then stopped abruptly right before posting pics of the new supply on social media. It’s been painful and difficult but it gets better. Bless you Dave x
Skye Blu, you are too good for that CLOWN. Keep being brave and strong. It's been since 10-2 since I left my ex narc and we must all support one another. It isn't easy but we deserve MUCH BETTER! My prayers are with you and all other narc abuse survivors.
These people have no heart, but you do. I know how much it hurts because I couldn't sleep or eat for two weeks. It does get better. I cry just sometimes now, you will start to feel disgust for that person. It's not your fault, keep that in mind. ❤️
Skye Blu mine tries to come back after every relationship fails in a few months. I had the same as you. Threats stalking and multiple attempts but after giving him several chances I woke up when he cheated block and put on social media. Then slandered me. Glad you’re out. It’s bloody brutal
Skye Blu I felt the same way also when I cut my never was my friend of 25 years yes I know . It was more of an on and off thing with here cuz she had other ppl she was using at that time and when she got her hands on the new toy my fam and friends notice it this narc got so mad she even told me go fuck your cousin . She even told ppl we know that I sleep with family . I cryed for months when get mad when she will call me for a different number cut her off best thing I did
Mine hoovered after three months with his new supply. I went No Contact immediately after his attempt. It came as a one-liner in an email. It said, " I miss you". obviously, he was fishing so I forwarded it to his new supply and to my attorney. Haven't heard from him since and its been a year and a month. He did, however call one of my friends to tell them he was worried about me-that I was not doing well. I was feeling great at the time, so I figured it was a hoover by proxy.
He left for a new supply. That fizzled and I wasn’t strong enough the first time he came back. He’s coming around again, but this time will be different. Thank you, Dave. God bless you.
I love how you have a sense of humor about this. It really helps me heal when we can laugh about it because they are so rediculous that it's funny. Yeah we got duped yeah we were blinded by them and yeah we were abused by them. BUT WE CAN HEAL.. we can feel better after this..we can move on from this.... THEY CAN'T! They will be miserable FOREVER! So let them think they've "won"... We can laugh about it now because we will not be in pain forever like they will. And it's all their fault.
Hoping that things will get better is the most dangerous thing to do in a narcissistic abusive relationship. “Waiting” for the narcissist to change is like hoping for the devil to turn good. It’s never going to happen.
I was hoovered after 9 months and it's so true, the love-bombing phase went much more quickly and straight to the ambiguous promises, triangulation, etc.
I am officially 1 month free from my ex narcissist... I am healed and living my life to the fullest... best move I ever made in my life.... thanks Dave I love your channel
Rose It does. I’m sorry you feel bad. After some time goes by you will feel ANGRY! After more time goes by you will accept it. The more time that goes by and you detox them more and more you will be GLAD that God has DELIVERED You from EVIL!!!! Don’t listen to 1 more minute of fake love!! It will mess with your mind and heart! Just keep listening to videos like this! Sending you hugs! ❤️
@@heatherlynn3438 thank you so much... 32 years with this preson just to know this is fake the 32 years. I will never get my time back. 🤔😢😭 my heart is so broken about this.
Dave this video couldn’t of came at a better time. He messaged me this morning saying, “I really am miserable.” How much he regrets leaving me..😂 I left him. They just had a big fight. So he is trying to have a place to live.He’s now humiliating her on social media. It’s so sad. And she’s pregnant too. 😑. I appreciate you DAVE!!
Right the Wrong I ALREADY have been in her shoes. He wants to come back so he can have a place to stay, food, sex, power, control, and bring his evilness over here again. NOPE! I’m good.
@@maelove3764 ... Yay!! Alexus!!!! Good for you! I'm SO proud of you!!! Yeah, find someone whoms gonna Love you and Cherish you. Good Men and Women are out there. Or, just be happy by yourself. But, let him stew in his own juices. He'll now realize he can't control everybody. Especially, You!! All My Love!! ♥
This is spot on. The hoops. The false hope. The lip service. But in the end every promise he made was empty. He kept demanding that I change thing after thing after thing. It was never enough, and meanwhile he was moving on. It was so painful.
After years of dealing with the ex n returning I have figured out they are never really "coming back" they are "running from" Most of the time if they show back up it has to do with what or whom they are trying to run from.
He stayed with me for over a year while the new supply lived with him without me knowing how serious they really where. Finally I got educated on Narcology and for a while I got a Hoover every few weeks. The longest period of ghosting was 3 months in 2 years. BUT this time I’m different, no more letting him back in, he is fully blocked and no contact for 31 days! 🙌🏻 she can have him!
There I was. Sweet Christian Donna trying to be kind to this person. I was moving to a new apartment and said to my friend, If you're not happy where you are living, why don't you check out where I'm moving to. Oh he did! His apartment was 2 away from mine. After 4 years I married that man. WOW! My motivation was to live as CHRIST and I ended up inviting the devil in. How can you dicern from these people?????? I was a sitting duck. I have to forgive myself everyday. Do the same. GOD BLESS ALL ❤️
When narco’s mask came off he revealed his true ugly self in a large shopping mall. He tried to start an argument in public, but I resisted and narco brat ran away to his family’s Estate in a temper tantrum tirade. He planned his final discard and was looking for an excuse to set me up. He said I made a face at him in public and it was a public assault. Narco Projection Madness No More! Stay healthy and Safe Everyone . 👏🙏❤️
I have a story similar to yours...I went with him to a family members house for the first time once and he jumped out of the car, run up to the door and left me sitting and the car. It was dark as We were in the country so I thought he would come back and open my car door and escort me into the house and introduce me. He stayed in the house for approx.10 minutes and they came out with his male cousins with beers and acted as if I wasn't even there! I sit in the car for what seemed like 45 minutes and rode the fuck off. ( it was my car ).
I love the way you reinforce how you say "you're the only one whose committed". It makes my heart sink. I don't want to accept it, but you're so right! Why can I never connect with a woman who will be committed and reciprocate? Is there something wrong with me?
@@rickyg4877 maybe thats my problem? I'm always stepping on eggshells with women because my mum was married and divorced 3 times. The woman I'm with now doesn't seem genuine in her reciprocation when I open my heart to her. Such a waste of time and energy! I need to break away and mainly worry about myself!
No, nothing "wrong" with you....just your choices in women. But, now that you have the info, change your way of selecting a partner. There are many loving, caring women out here!
@@rturtle5795 problem I find with women (well the ones I meet) they think everything is about them and all they have to do is turn up? Everytime she senses I've had enough of her then all of a sudden she gives a shit? Really I'm better off on my own and just doing one night stands.
After almost a year hoover was attempted I repeat attempted but thanks to your wisdom Dave and of course all the other awesome great channels I was able to say NO I would not EVER EVER go back to how I used to feel I was a DOORMAT but never again I am a precious priceless ruby and I know who I am and what I have to offer someone who is deserving of all the love and companionship that I have to offer of course I have not dated at all during this year because I had to heal.But yeah a pathetic hoover attempt.
After the new supply stole his money and left, it was about a month when I saw the "hey" on messenger from him. I knew better (Thank you Dave) but, I was so desperate for the pain of being without him and the fear of seeing him with yet another woman to end, that I answered the hoover. Dave, you are right on about how that second round goes. He didn't bother even faking anything anymore. He was so confident by that point (and rightfully so considering i came back after everything he did) that I would stay no matter what, that his lack of even basic human decency wasn't somethi g he tried to hide anymore, just like his obvious indifference to anything to do with me or my feelings. It was so bad that he even tried to leave again, but changed his mind halfway through his break up speech, and ACTUALLY said out loud, nevermind, I still need you.... It wasn't until that moment that something in me woke up and refused to allow me to put myself through it anymkre. At THAT moment, my feelings for him died
Sashe Sashe I’m doing much better! Yours is still pretty fresh. Just keep watching these videos! If you have a faith.. cling to it and remember that none of this was your fault ❤️
I love this video - it really really helped me. It’s unreal. I can’t believe how they can love you one day and next day hate you. No fight even needs to happen. He said to me that he told me what it was I didn’t listen to him. He acted like he was planning a future for us. When I confronted him about something he said that hurt me that’s when the discard happened. He was first very apologetic and kept calling me and texting me for me to accept his apology. When I did, I finally agreed to go away with him and then I changed my mind he got mad again. Completely discarded and said his feelings changed. I was like wait what?? I never experienced this in my life. Thank you for this video.
Dave...I dont know how many of us say thank you for reading our comments,but on behalf of all of us,who has made a comment or not..A BIG SHOUT OUT FROM ALL US EMPATHS DAVE,THANK YOU THANK YOU AND THANK YOU..!! stay NARCONAVIRUS free..DAVE FOR PRESIDENT 2020😊🤟💯
Jay Dobbins she is probably mad that you discarded her. How dare you? She wants to suck you in, then discard you! Don’t answer her text and block her. Otherwise you will fall into the same trap allover again. Mine hoovered me last July, and this time he didn’t have his mask on. He showed me his demonic side, and since then I have blocked him. No more hoovers. I was confusing his hoovers and desire to help me as his love for me. Now I know who he is, and how these demons function. When you understand this, it’s easier to forget about them.
@@violetab3750 YES, they need to be the one who does the discard...sole reason for many hooverz.. if u discarded them, that"wound" is nearly unbearable psychologically for them...
My Ex husband of 31 years use to serve at our church! He was a total different man than what I thought and his mask came off and I didn't recognize this person I had spent most of my life with. He was so cold, unsympathetic to my tears and the pain he caused. I was looking at the face of a demon! Be careful to educate yourself so this doesn't happen to You! God Bless
I have been hoovered numerous times since December. But like clockwork with the pandemic going on, she works in the service industry and I know she's stuck at home not able to get supply from coworkers. Sure enough I got hoovered last Thursday, less than a month before she was attacking me on social media. Have not responded to the pandemic Hoover. After watching videos like yours it's almost like I know her every move. Seems to be about every 2 weeks I get a Hoover
After 2 months on March 20 he sent me a friend request and it was hard but when I saw his profile picture and that fake smile it made me sick to my stomach. When I thought about how he talked and treated me when all I wanted to do was love him I deleted and blocked him God is so good because he gave me the strength to let go. Thank you for the videos. I come here often to read testamonies of others. God leed me to these sites I never knew a thing like this exsisted except through demonic forces. I am in my right mind did not have to take meds of any kind God delivered me from the claws of the enemy. and he freed from that madness. I am now full of peace. After a 5 year on an off long distance crazyship.
My mom is a narcissist I’m a empath. When I went no contact with her she used her flying monkeys to get information from me. It was eating at her the fact that her only daughter caught her off. Till this day she denies the abuse and puts the blame on me😒 I later attracted my ex who claimed he was my soulmate was a narcissist when he abused me he said I deserved it the damage from both of them is a lot I was admitted to the hospital because I was suicidal I’m still trying to heal these videos are what helped me heal.
Don't even let them back in when they try to come back. Block them everywhere, and if they manage to reach you some how, don't respond or give them the time of day.
Gas Guzzlers 🙄 Sickest thing I unfortunately had in my life! Still trying to contact me after decades, even though he hates my guts They think we are stupid! ❌NO CONTACT❌ THEY USE THEIR OWN CHILDREN AS SUPPLY! They are incapable of having relationships!
Mine left the evening I had a couple of friends over for dinner, one of which I had not seen in over 20 years. He just walked out the back door and left, I haven't seen or heard from him since. I guess our laughing and having a good time was too much for him.
I totally LOVE this message Dave, you’re 1,000% spot on!! When my ex narc left I told them “you’re a different person” their response was “I’ve always been the same person, you were just blinded by the lovie dovey sh!t”... Can’t thank you enough for doing what you do!!
It is almost 3 yrs anniversary now I found your channel Dave. I’m so happy to see its still up for anyone that is just starting on their journey. Thank you so much for this channel. You were my guiding light when there was none. Thank you eternally. Xoxo 💪💜✨
Thank you so much for making this video Dave, these past 3 months have been hell on earth for me. I was discarded after being married 6 years. I've gone no contact and he hasn't reached out either. Every day is challenging
I hate these folks exist... I hate... That I hate.... I hate that I spend 1 second thinking about this person... I hate that they made me hate.... Forgiveness is tough.... But I am working on forgiving myself to move along
I am an introvert and has very little friends to none.. my ex is covert narcissist and has a lot of friends.. my parents a re also narcs.. it so difficult and painful ..you dont know who else can you trust , I became more introverted
My ex also disappeared during quarantine. I am very pregnant and no matter how much I tried to get a hold of him I couldn't. Last week his new girlfriend tried to friend request me. I did talk to her and told her he just disappeared. Day before yesterday he texted me asking what I want. He knows all I want is to have a a happy family with him. I told him that and he said we would talk soon once he figures things out. I just keep blaming myself. I wasn't perfect and now my baby has no dad.
After bein discarded, I worked on myself. Lost a little weight. New clothes. Did my hair and makeup. Felt so good about myself. That's when he would sneak off from his new "love" to text me and say how good I looked. How happy I was.
I discarded her today, and blocked her, I did it in an aggressive way. And don’t think she would come back, otherwise I warned her it’s not going to be good for you.
I needed this. He doesn’t show he wants me. He just blames me for us not working. He just left for two weeks and came back to our shared home. He has all these new ideas like wanting our home after in a settlement offer that I get the house. It took me a week to be ok in my skin and now I’m totally triggered in one hour he has been home. I told him to text, email or talk to my attorney.
I was hoovered many times, but the longest was three months. One day he would just call me like he had seen me the day before. I have been NO CONTACT for Six months now. I changed my phone number, blocked him in every social media possible. Thank God we live in different countries which makes it more difficult for him to come my way and try to suck me back in. It does take lots of courage but I am actually healing. You have been very helpful Dave. God bless you always!
they push and push and push hoping that you will tolerate absolutely everything and anything- the point when you say "no" you are instantly "hated"- its absolute insanity.
I know first hand about being the bestie. At first things were good, then the push pull started. 2 1/2 yrs. She always wanted me to rescue her from abusive boyfriends or whatever drama she got into. Last fight she told me she hadn't liked me for over a year. Finally, her words matched her actions. I went no contact, then the stalking started and stopped. She called from an unidentified number to tell me that I was her only friend. I told her to leave me alone.
Btw. Thank you Dave for doing these rants. You're a good man and very well spoken. I've said it before, I can see from a mile away you're a good person. I wish you all the best because you sincerely do deserve it! In a non narcissistic way of course.
Meeting this ex.narcissist opened so much stuff from childhood to now but I have to say after him it's really opened my eyes to alot of unhealed trauma from childhood and understanding and breaking "cycle" growing up I remember always doing everything to please my narcisists growing up as a child and I always wonder the woman I am now why do I attract narcisistic men..... I know now thanks to my ex narc ...... It was painful and I felt like I was in abyss with all the experience I went thru from the day I was born to the woman I am now! My healing will continue and I am proud of myself and I can look in the mirror and say I love myself and everything that was ever said to me to believe was a lie Narcisisst are harmful beings!!! Wen your raised by narcissist parents and step mom you become conditioned to feel a certain way of yourself - breaking the cycle! 💜💜💜 Thanks to utube and the ppl who share knowledge on this matter Taught me alot ty!
I am legitimately laughing and smirking at every sentence and every single word you are saying in this video. It is so on point to EXACTLY what I went through with the discard from my Husband, it’s insane! It is such a huge relief knowing that I am not crazy and that he legitimately as NPD without a doubt. Thank you for posting this Dave
I think they come back because, since they see everything as competition, once they prop up that false self with some new imitations (meeting new people, learning some new phrases, stealing bits of other identities etc) they want to see how they will "mimic", almost like benchmark performance test they want to see it in action at you.
I discarded them 4 months ago with NC so I don't expect a hoover 😊. Ive blocked them and was never friends on social media. Everyone be safe, God bless!
I was discarded..silence for a year then he pops up again like nothing happened. I fell for his bullshit lines and went back. He discarded me again ten times worse . Please do not go back. Block delete and run.
I love when you do these situation videos. I’m from Nashville. My Narc. She called twice when we had our tornados. I had to catch myself and remember how the 1st 2 Hoover’s turned out
Mine seem to come back every three years and tell me how great we would have been together and how great sex was. No! Asshole! It wasn’t. I just tell him to get lost and he retrieves for another 3 years lol. He’s been hovering me for the last 10 years.
Great video as always Dave! Unless you've been through it with a narcissist you just cannot explain it to anyone so they understand it. Everyone thinks it's a regular break up, so I just stopped trying to explain it to friends or family. I've been no contact for 10 months. No contact, no social media, changed my phone number, and even moved so I don't think the Hoover will ever come. But then again, like you've mentioned in the past, they always return somehow.
Omg! You hit the nail on tbe head when you said they get their supply from people at work. In my miserable experience every single person in his harem garage is from past jobs he's had. What an eye opener. I'm so thankful for you and this support group Dave. Thank you!
My narc left me for a fat ugly guy. Before disappear ing into the night she punched me several times around my head. Verbal abuse violence thats the the final discard. Six months later i get a phone call. I didn't answer as i had nothing to say to this vile monster. These days i couldn't be more at peace with myself. Peace and love to all you survivors from wessex england.
Ross Field My narcissist husband of 25 years is leaving me for a short, dumpy,ugly, big jawed, cross eyed, sun spotted skinned narcissist! Lol. THEY ARE BOTH NARCISSIST!!! Lol!! I know he doesn’t love her & I know she doesn’t love him.
@@aprilmurray1080 you see my ex was very attractive ( onthe outside) and when people saw them together they were absolutely shocked. They have a child together. I overheard somebody call the child shrek. Poor kid its not their fault. I know she's violent so i really hope that that child isn't subject to abuse.
Ross Field Oh my. I am so sorry for what you have been through with your narc and I am sorry for their child. Well, it’s good to know that you have survived such a tragic & horrendous chapter in your life. I am hoping to do the same. By the Grace of the Lord, I will. He hates me & I don’t know what I have done; I only lived to love him. I went NC last July bc I realized then that EVERYTHING that came out his mouth was a lie. Especially about his new supply. He told me he gave her up 5 years ago when I first found out about her. I know he doesn’t love her & she THINKS she loves him bc he is high up in the food chain with his career. But they can spend their time taking turns screwing each other over bc they both only truly love themselves. They are empty & soulless.
@@aprilmurray1080 just take this lockdown as a time to reflect a bit on your life but not in a dark way. If you have a garden go out and do some work, grow stuff it will take your mind of negativity. I am quite luck in the fact i am surrounded by beautiful english countryside and I'm only eight miles from stonehenge. Every cloud has a silver lineing. Love from wessex. 😉
8months...was shocked when it came...never answered the calls. You are always on point I tell you Dave. the Hoover will definitely come but stay no contact and do respond to what God has saved you from. Redemption time!
Totally agree with what you said Dave . My ex narc loved me one day ,two days later ghost me for 6 days.His sister said "I guess he moved on". Yea like I did something wrong.And he moved on to better things.Ha! She didn't want to say anything against her brother.Wth! 🤨
Kelly, I had the exact same thing happen to me! Me and my ex narc were together for 7 years & had a daughter together & had gotten along with his family just fine. Until he discarded me like yesterday's trash & acted as if I didn't exist & went right on to someone new. His sister acted as if I was the abnormal one for feeling so confused & heartbroken. She told me that he had moved on & I just needed to get it through my head that it was over & deal with it. Funny thing was, at that time, she was dealing with the fact her husband had cheated on her & she was upset about stuff & was confused about what she should do & who listened to her & showed her empathy...? ME! Did she show me an ounce of empathy? NOPE. Because, God forbid, she said one bad thing about her precious golden child baby brother!
Seal Team (Special Ops) - www.patreon.com/LiveChatWithDaveAndEmpaths
Thanks you for being you and helping by sharing all this info and knoage
@@rockrole1 .
Thankyou for saying didn't relise, bless 🙏❤
I have had silence,and on Friday on the phone, acting like nothing has happened as if we are back on track, then he said he will come round Sunday and do work in the garden.!!!!
( Before you ask ,yes he is blocked on anything or every thing he could think of to contact me) will guy's and doll's, there is no point,he rang on another number.) So I told him no we are on lockdown where you should be,his words where I don't care about it, well he sure won't get through my door, so yes they are stuck in a bubble right now,and he can't get any resources from anybody,so they do check in to see if your coping alone due to lockdown, yes it's hard for us once a narrissict has done what he/she done, but you have to stay strong at a time like this, it's trying to get back in, want's to see if we've broken. Don't let them feeling your loneliness right now. Keep safe .
Right now I'm going through it, and they like to play on your mind.😔😔 .
Narc ology unscripted , I’m going to join you soon!
Keep up the good work, and keep those videos coming
ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU DIDN'T LOSE A FRIEND, YOU UNMASKED A ENEMY!!!
Amen. Sadly!
Amen
@@elleeme9451 I Feel you, It's Sad but True!!!
@@primsandwhims7533 The Truth shall set you free!!!
THEY SURE ARE ENEMIES. THEY ARE GOOD AT PRETENDING TO LIKE US DURING THE LOVEBOMB.
Don't forgive the narcissist. Forgive YOURSELF. You fell because you're human... and they are not. ❤
Guys the most important thing you have to understand is, you were not targeted or hurt because you mean anything to the narcissist. You or some other victim, narcissist don't care nor cannot understand what genuine human being is. They have this constant voice inside their head telling them "you are unworthy, you don't deserve anything" and they have built this "false self" to buffer that negativity and they need someone else to believe this "false self" so they can buy into it, otherwise they know it is fake and phony as 3 dollar bill. They need somebody, ANYBODY to believe the false self, to get rid of that inner judge bombarding them sadistically 24/7. They already have the most shitty existence and life of hell. You are lucky by being discarded, you are lucky by finding out this channel and learning about topic, stop worrying or feeling bad for past, forgive yourself and start to heal.
Exactly well said my co survivor God bless you and accept all your gifts now that I have had to have God break my heart to open my eyes and heal my soul my tears are happy tears thank you
Your comments are the best! You helped me a lot! I always reread them so I don't relapse.
Glad that I was able to give some back to community. Thank you as well, for your sincere and kind words. I was devastated and been there just few months ago and this channel, not just Dave's videos, even reading others' comments helped me a lot. I'm glad to give something back and be in service to this community.
100 percent accurate! This is why they are so thin skinned and lash out when we call them out on their bad behavior. We are exposing their true self which they know is not good. They can’t handle that so they do everything they can to deflect blame. I think the love bomb stage is them getting feedback that their false self is who they are (it isn’t) so it felt as good to them as it did to us. In this stage I think some of them can think they are “in love”. But They love the attention, the compliments and the idea that finally someone gets them when in reality the person they are pretending to be didn’t exist. They know deep down that once their true self is exposed this person won’t stick around, hence the gaslighting and mind tricks they play to keep the partner hooked to those crumbs they offer. They need that trauma bond to keep their partner addicted even when the partner knows full well this person deep down is not good.
Absolutely. 100% on the money. Preach my man! It’s so fed up that she toyed with me so bad I’m so emotional about this.
It's sad to know they never loved you. I wasted 23 years of my life thinking he loved me in his own sick way. I now see I was wrong
You are not alone. I two wasted the 20 years...from 2001 until 2020 back and forth, in and out, break up to make up ( love bombing) and lies, deception ...even though he was devoiced from his wife and they had two children who are now grown....he was back and forth with her two. I never knew because ours was a long distance long affair and I was lead to believe he lived elsewhere in the small town they came from. He came up to attend to me once after I had gall bladder surgery. I was in my bedroom on meds while he seat in the living room all night watching TV and being on his phone. Caught him once on my computer checking put local sites of semi-nude women you could contact. I've been thru he'll and back!. Finally I learned about narcissism and he fit every characteristic to a T.! We're done now. I can't take ANYMORE And will not allow myself to suffer emotionally, mental abuse and spiritually like this from him ever again. You can do this!!
Can you pls help me I want to heal 😭 it was my 6 months relationship and he said he loves me and he can’t live without me but when he got to know that my family status wasn’t as big as my personality so he tried to get rid of me and he left me
Sashe Sashe understand what a Narc is, understand their thinking process. Check out Melanie Tonis. When you fully understand what they are and how miserable they are, sis you’re gonna cry for days to thank God for releasing you from the garbage. Understand your value as well, self-worth and self-love is frikkin CRUCIAL. SOOOOOO CRUCIAL. My father is a Narc so he puts me down on a daily but I stay in grey-rock mode and don’t take in his compliments nor his criticisms. I tolerate him for the sake of God. But relationship wise, I got out of relationship with a cover narc but I know the games. When your entire life revolves around them, you get used to it and stop caring. You understand the tactics and keep calm but keep boundaries. STRICT BOUNDARIES without ever reacting. I make the narcs anxious by being calm, it’s a power move. I was patient and I really want better for me. Went no contact and the cover narc reached out during quarantine. I expected it. I am not surprised one bit. They are needy and codependent (just in a different way). If you’d like to move on and heal, focus more on you than on narc. I advise to keep learning as you are now but also, learn how you can better protect your energy and have such high value that anything that remotely bothers you, you will get rid of without explanation. Strengthen your intuition and strengthen your faith. God is above wayyy above what you’re going through or have been put through. It sucks girl, it does... it’s a hollow feeling but acceptance is necessary there’s no way around it (this will make you strong) help you regulate emotions and better equip yourself for self-forgiveness for accepting such shitty treatment from a shitty ass person. You know better now sis and I’m proud of you for gaining knowledge. It really is power. The only way to fully move on is to want better, to understand you do deserve better, and that things can get better without them. Forgive yourself and never go that low ever again. It was never your fault, it was them. God bless you ❤️
No one loves you but yourself. I have learnt that people leave you for people so learn to move on.
Sashe Sashe Yes. And you’re a strong individual, there is nothing you can’t overcome with time and self-improvement. 👑
My ex wife narc came by to drop our daughter off, we hadn’t seen each other in a while, I’ve been working out and developing myself I internally. When I opened the door to the house she used to live in she just stared, an empty stare. I seen the disappointment in her eyes. She seen the glow in my face, she felt my energy. I’m healing, restoring myself. I know she was crushed by the fact that she seen I was doing good. That stare was the stare of defeat. That was 11 days ago. She usually texts me every so often when our daughter is with me to check up on her, now she completely cut me off. Hahahaha, evidence that I caused a narc injury when she saw me. Keep healing guys, it truly is the best revenge
I saw that look in my exes eyes it was some what closure for me, the look of she really f#d up.......
I can't face my ex and it's been a year. He came by the other day and I didnt answer. He has tried to see me a couple of times but theres nothing to see for me however I would love to see that look you spoke of. I envision him seeing me happy and smiling one day though.
Time heals all wounds.
Time wounds all heels.
Good for you! May you successfully continue your path to healing and wholeness.
Genesis Berrios it’s true when you feel and look better they are pissed
I loved reading that💙💙💙💙💙
This hurts like no other to find out, a person never loved you. I just feel like a total fool and humiliated. Someone is going to physically hurt them for this one day.
God will punish them all in the end. Rejoice in the justice of The Lord! Eternity awaits 🙌🏼
25 yrs my lie lasted... i never knew... am having trouble processing this in my mind ... but i now know he is text book covert narc.. lovebombing, abuse, discard... zero empathy, gas lightning, pathological lies , charm, everbody loves him...
4 yrs after dumping me and kids callously... he's now trying to hoover me back... coz hes bored with his latest supply...
my ex maglinat narzzizt will say i did not gave her love because i knew it and i destroyed her like they do to others lol, she will remember that someone gave her what sshe give to others
@@redjulmar7391 dont go back
@@AftabAhmed-ib9ex thanks 💝
“They can’t form a bond with anybody.” Spot on!
LULU Hey Girl.
Yea it's all just a ploy and then the blame shifting starts before the discard and then the infamous " you're crazy " if you reach out for answers on why you were ghosted in that way. Sigh *
Body count is outrageous !!!
It's been 3 years.
No hoover no contact.
I'm Blessed, I'm happy, I'm Free!
Praise God!
They probably want back in your life because other people finally saw though their lies.. Don't fall for it. No contact ☘️
NOOOOO CONTACT!!!
Exactly. They were discovered and want to use you temporarily. They will be working on finding new supply to replace you with yet again while hoovering you. They are busy monsters. Do yourself a favor and don't be a part of their demonic plan.
I am 8months Narc free= Peace Everyone, 🌍remember to self quarantine and stay safe
Shine on! Dancing and singing praise.
Just want to put this out there for anyone who may see this or be interested, but if anyone wants to buy storable emergency food supplies and have it shipped to you and be able to avoid the grocery stores, please let me know and I'll be happy to provide a link to where you can purchase this online.
Mine hoovered after 10 months almost to the day.
@@TheTeganOsmondChannel God's heart, thank you.
5 months narc free
I received my Hoover 3 days ago for the second time this year, he thought I’d be good to go since it has been 2 years. But thank God I no longer hate or love him and that’s the greatest feeling ever. You will soon get to that stage my fellow empaths who are still going through it,it’s a powerful feeling.
Duz K yes my friend! Feel nothing. No....”maybe they’ve changed.” Keep moving forward.💯
Indifference is the key! ♡♡
Kandice Simmons Amen!!
I still love/hate her. She abused me in every way. And threw me out like I was nothing. I deserve better.
It is empowering to know someone else had and has his attention because, all ties are severed. I talked to God every night and morning trying to cut the ties. Now I don't feel anything for that monster, all stomach wrenching feelings GONE. We are all strong and can be delivered from this evil force.
Theyre gonna try to sleep with ya.. 😂 EXACTLY. That's all they want because having a conversation is just too much for them to understand. They can't stand talking about ANYONE except themselves! And by sleeping with us they know they still have that supply whenever they want. Then when they're done with you they go back to their other supply laughing at you for falling for them again. Stay narc free through this time!
How awful it must be to go through life with no life in your eyes and no love in your heart. It's really very sad.....however, we empaths should have no time for this, as we are wasting time trying to change someone who is incapable of it. They are aging us and making us grow cynical about love. We have to leave them and go NC or we will just keep growing more cynical. Break the cycle!!!! Thanks again, Dave!
Kerry you should NEVER try to change anyone regardless. It's a fruitless effort. Accept people as they are. Now with that said, this doesn't mean accepting an abuser in your life and deal with. No remove the abuser and no you can't change this person, NOR is it your job too.
@@USNBLUE Easier said than done...esp if you're involved.
OnAJourney I understand. When I was involved and realized it was like talking to a brick wall. Totally emotionally exhausted. I just stopped. It was not worth my sanity any longer Boy the reaction I got from him overtime.
@@USNBLUE What I meant by change, I meant getting people to have actual adult conversations when problems in the relationships are brought to light. Narcs either blow up in a rage or in my particular case, sit there staring at the floor like a 6-year old after spilling milk on the ground. Guess I should have been more specific.
Kerry I understand. Best wishes to you. May we live Narc free lives.
I absolutely see a resemblance between a toddler and a Narc. Give the toddler a new toy. They play with it for a little then dont play with it anymore. The narc is the same. They get bored easily! They move on to the next thing!
I think that's called short attention span like a young one
@@mmmdara471 yes true.
My Narc toddler man child would talk in a little boys voice when he wanted icecream. wth
@@janetweller5790 ...I believe that is one of the traits - if not 2 of them..."sounds" like he just tattled on himself too..(shaking my head as an understanding adult) Lol
@@janetweller5790 my ex narc would make hand jesters when he wanted me to slave for him to bring him something to eat just like a toddler would do before they learn to talk.
Narc free, 1year! Last Friday, he texted me from a new number...good morning, will you ever unblock me...
Me: NEVER!!!...didn’t respond and deleted the message!
Thanks Dave! Your videos are 💯
Yeah my ex narc phoned with a different number b/c I had blocked his number after his discard … how desperate!
I left him, he drove me away after nearly 3 years of verbal and physical abuse. He would drink then start a fight. He has hoovered me 3 times, I caught him hoovering when we were still together. He is now blocked on all social media. The last time he hoovered me I was stronger, the tears didn't work, he was pathetic. He realised that he had lost the control over me. He will try again but every day I am stronger.
Julie Arnup go Julie ❤️
Congratulations for staying narc free!! Stay strong and be blessed!!
Our two stories are very alike Julie. Verbatim. How strange the whole circus was!! I, like you, are done with all of it. The meaningless hover means nothing anymore. Good riddance. Stay strong. We deserve better.
I'm glad I got no Hoover. I'm 20 days NC that i started. I know you are going to be strong! You can do this. I'm inspired by you
I discarded my narc on my birthday back in December and he was pissed. Two months later, he came back to bother me. I find it hilarious because I see through him now. Other than that, congrats Julie!
I Love the lighting in your home. It's so warm and comforting.
For this video, I just got a "Hoover" this weekend. Folks a "Hoover" is not a "Badge of Honor" so RUNNNN!
He/she sometimes comes back because the new suplly is not as good as you. But don’t take this to validate yourself. Stay strong! You don’t need such a validation. Don’t wait for them to fix you. Fix yourself !!! Thank you, Dave
I never tried to get back with him. Something clicked in my mind, when he devalued and discarded me. I went completely grey rock, stone face. I didn’t react to ANNNNYthing. Now,I understand why.
After a 1 1/2 years I got an e-mail saying “I feel it’s been long enough, we can have a friendship” I ignored this. Two months later got an IG message “why are you not returning my emails”. She always went through people like Toilet Paper “no pun”. Funny I thought with being home she has very little supply it’s just a matter of time. I was with her 11 years and it’s been 2 years almost and still not 100%. Great channel, thank you for your help.
The narc cannot comprehend when they no longer matter to you. Stay strong and know everyday you are further away from that pain and they are still in the same place.
My ex kept pushing me away because I told him I would leave if he didn’t change, and I finally called him out on everything. He became passive aggressive and cold with me because he said “I can not move on from you saying you would break up with me. It will forever be in my mind.” Four months later, the hoover comes. I found it funny because of how fake he is, but it also made me mad. They have no right to just come and go as they please. They push you and were so cold to you, and then return with no kind of remorse. They have no respect. If they really respected you, they would respect the boundary of the breakup. Disgusting. He’s someone else’s problem now
Regarding the narc..you cant forgive something already condemned.... Just Forgive Yourself for being deceived
Yes forgiving one's own self is path to healing, wise words.
good one!
Yes! This is what I question alot. Am I suppose to forgive them? I've finally forgiven myself but don't know if I have forgiven him. If he will never change, never see me as a person with feelings am I suppose to forgive him. Do we forgive the devil? My mom often looks at me crazy when I Express my feelings for him, she says well I forgive him and I say I have too but I will never speak with him again. She just looks at me like that's harsh but she hasn't experienced my experiences with him. When he knocks in the door she can't understand why I won't see what he wants.
It took me a long time to forgive myself I was so hurt, mad and disappointed in myself.
Beautiful Love I’m hurt and going through hell 😭 it’s been 2.5 months I can’t get over it what do I do
It just blows my mind how all of a sudden they are so nice and polite. Their new toy discarded them and now they are back for fuel. It is such a relief that we know all about their stupid games.
Exactly stupid games..knowledge is power
Hoover was within a week. I had cried myself to sleep every night and lost about 7lbs. I was exhausted. The discard was brutal. I did converse with him and texted a few times initially but I stayed strong. He became threatening and tried to scare me and so I blocked him completely after that. He tried to make contact in different ways for several months and then stopped abruptly right before posting pics of the new supply on social media. It’s been painful and difficult but it gets better. Bless you Dave x
Skye Blu, you are too good for that CLOWN. Keep being brave and strong. It's been since 10-2 since I left my ex narc and we must all support one another. It isn't easy but we deserve MUCH BETTER! My prayers are with you and all other narc abuse survivors.
These people have no heart, but you do. I know how much it hurts because I couldn't sleep or eat for two weeks. It does get better. I cry just sometimes now, you will start to feel disgust for that person. It's not your fault, keep that in mind. ❤️
Skye Blu mine tries to come back after every relationship fails in a few months. I had the same as you. Threats stalking and multiple attempts but after giving him several chances I woke up when he cheated block and put on social media. Then slandered me. Glad you’re out. It’s bloody brutal
Skye Blu I felt the same way also when I cut my never was my friend of 25 years yes I know . It was more of an on and off thing with here cuz she had other ppl she was using at that time and when she got her hands on the new toy my fam and friends notice it this narc got so mad she even told me go fuck your cousin . She even told ppl we know that I sleep with family . I cryed for months when get mad when she will call me for a different number cut her off best thing I did
@@roselynconcepcion6834 mine told me he wanted to sleep with my daughter. I think to hurt me bc we are close.
Mine hoovered after three months with his new supply. I went No Contact immediately after his attempt. It came as a one-liner in an email. It said, " I miss you". obviously, he was fishing so I forwarded it to his new supply and to my attorney. Haven't heard from him since and its been a year and a month. He did, however call one of my friends to tell them he was worried about me-that I was not doing well. I was feeling great at the time, so I figured it was a hoover by proxy.
I would get the sporadic “i love you” or “I miss you” or “ are you okay?”.. I never answer!
I’m the one who dumped her and ghosted her and went NC.
It's only what people can give them. They themselves have no purpose.
He left for a new supply. That fizzled and I wasn’t strong enough the first time he came back. He’s coming around again, but this time will be different. Thank you, Dave. God bless you.
I love how you have a sense of humor about this. It really helps me heal when we can laugh about it because they are so rediculous that it's funny. Yeah we got duped yeah we were blinded by them and yeah we were abused by them. BUT WE CAN HEAL.. we can feel better after this..we can move on from this.... THEY CAN'T! They will be miserable FOREVER! So let them think they've "won"... We can laugh about it now because we will not be in pain forever like they will. And it's all their fault.
Yes you are correct....
Hoping that things will get better is the most dangerous thing to do in a narcissistic abusive relationship. “Waiting” for the narcissist to change is like hoping for the devil to turn good. It’s never going to happen.
I was hoovered after 9 months and it's so true, the love-bombing phase went much more quickly and straight to the ambiguous promises, triangulation, etc.
I am officially 1 month free from my ex narcissist... I am healed and living my life to the fullest... best move I ever made in my life.... thanks Dave I love your channel
This hurts so bad to know this.😢
♥♥♥!!!
It does. You never think that.
Rose It does. I’m sorry you feel bad. After some time goes by you will feel ANGRY! After more time goes by you will accept it. The more time that goes by and you detox them more and more you will be GLAD that God has DELIVERED You from EVIL!!!! Don’t listen to 1 more minute of fake love!! It will mess with your mind and heart! Just keep listening to videos like this! Sending you hugs! ❤️
@@heatherlynn3438 thank you so much... 32 years with this preson just to know this is fake the 32 years. I will never get my time back. 🤔😢😭 my heart is so broken about this.
Yes it does hurt so bad, I´m sorry. Just been there. Now I´m angry. She lives nearby. Hate when I see her and her facade.
No friends, no empathy, no sense.
Dave this video couldn’t of came at a better time. He messaged me this morning saying, “I really am miserable.” How much he regrets leaving me..😂 I left him. They just had a big fight. So he is trying to have a place to live.He’s now humiliating her on social media. It’s so sad. And she’s pregnant too. 😑. I appreciate you DAVE!!
Wow! You dodged that bullet, ha?!
Right the Wrong I ALREADY have been in her shoes. He wants to come back so he can have a place to stay, food, sex, power, control, and bring his evilness over here again. NOPE! I’m good.
@@maelove3764 ... Yay!! Alexus!!!! Good for you! I'm SO proud of you!!! Yeah, find someone whoms gonna Love you and Cherish you. Good Men and Women are out there. Or, just be happy by yourself. But, let him stew in his own juices. He'll now realize he can't control everybody. Especially, You!! All My Love!! ♥
Thank you Dave. This channel matters me a lot. Fresh victim from finland. They are everywhere. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
This is spot on. The hoops. The false hope. The lip service. But in the end every promise he made was empty. He kept demanding that I change thing after thing after thing. It was never enough, and meanwhile he was moving on. It was so painful.
After years of dealing with the ex n returning I have figured out they are never really "coming back" they are "running from" Most of the time if they show back up it has to do with what or whom they are trying to run from.
That's true
Good point.
True. But every time they run away (from themselves), they’re taking their ugly and filthy luggage with them; their character LOL
So true
He stayed with me for over a year while the new supply lived with him without me knowing how serious they really where. Finally I got educated on Narcology and for a while I got a Hoover every few weeks. The longest period of ghosting was 3 months in 2 years. BUT this time I’m different, no more letting him back in, he is fully blocked and no contact for 31 days! 🙌🏻 she can have him!
There I was. Sweet Christian Donna trying to be kind to this person. I was moving to a new apartment and said to my friend, If you're not happy where you are living, why don't you check out where I'm moving to. Oh he did! His apartment was 2 away from mine. After 4 years I married that man. WOW! My motivation was to live as CHRIST and I ended up inviting the devil in. How can you dicern from these people?????? I was a sitting duck. I have to forgive myself everyday. Do the same. GOD BLESS ALL ❤️
Sometimes they never stop hovering. So never attend to that alway be to busy building your self up up up.
When narco’s mask came off he revealed his true ugly self in a large shopping mall. He tried to start an argument in public, but I resisted and narco brat ran away to his family’s Estate in a temper tantrum tirade. He planned his final discard and was looking for an excuse to set me up. He said I made a face at him in public and it was a public assault. Narco Projection Madness No More! Stay healthy and Safe Everyone . 👏🙏❤️
Loki was his name Michael???
Big Women Stretch- 2 His name starts with an N. Lord Admiral .......
Ya im glad he discarded me i feel so much better
I have a story similar to yours...I went with him to a family members house for the first time once and he jumped out of the car, run up to the door and left me sitting and the car. It was dark as We were in the country so I thought he would come back and open my car door and escort me into the house and introduce me. He stayed in the house for approx.10 minutes and they came out with his male cousins with beers and acted as if I wasn't even there! I sit in the car for what seemed like 45 minutes and rode the fuck off. ( it was my car ).
Theresa Bullock oh wow that was totally disrespectful 😫 glad it was your car! I would of definitely went no contact no excuse could of helped that!
I love the way you reinforce how you say "you're the only one whose committed". It makes my heart sink. I don't want to accept it, but you're so right! Why can I never connect with a woman who will be committed and reciprocate? Is there something wrong with me?
I learned that I was a codependent and attracted men that I wanted to fix. No more!
@@rickyg4877 maybe thats my problem? I'm always stepping on eggshells with women because my mum was married and divorced 3 times. The woman I'm with now doesn't seem genuine in her reciprocation when I open my heart to her. Such a waste of time and energy! I need to break away and mainly worry about myself!
No, nothing "wrong" with you....just your choices in women. But, now that you have the info, change your way of selecting a partner. There are many loving, caring women out here!
No, you just keep meeting narcissists. Narcissism is growing and more and more people are become selfish and greedy even if they don’t have NPD.
@@rturtle5795 problem I find with women (well the ones I meet) they think everything is about them and all they have to do is turn up? Everytime she senses I've had enough of her then all of a sudden she gives a shit? Really I'm better off on my own and just doing one night stands.
After almost a year hoover was attempted I repeat attempted but thanks to your wisdom Dave and of course all the other awesome great channels I was able to say NO I would not EVER EVER go back to how I used to feel I was a DOORMAT but never again I am a precious priceless ruby and I know who I am and what I have to offer someone who is deserving of all the love and companionship that I have to offer of course I have not dated at all during this year because I had to heal.But yeah a pathetic hoover attempt.
After the new supply stole his money and left, it was about a month when I saw the "hey" on messenger from him. I knew better (Thank you Dave) but, I was so desperate for the pain of being without him and the fear of seeing him with yet another woman to end, that I answered the hoover. Dave, you are right on about how that second round goes. He didn't bother even faking anything anymore. He was so confident by that point (and rightfully so considering i came back after everything he did) that I would stay no matter what, that his lack of even basic human decency wasn't somethi g he tried to hide anymore, just like his obvious indifference to anything to do with me or my feelings. It was so bad that he even tried to leave again, but changed his mind halfway through his break up speech, and ACTUALLY said out loud, nevermind, I still need you....
It wasn't until that moment that something in me woke up and refused to allow me to put myself through it anymkre. At THAT moment, my feelings for him died
Amen😂😂😂
Dave I feel like you’re speaking directly to me... Ive really been struggling this week. Thank you!
Sheena Lynne hi hun are are you okay ?im going through the same it’s been 2.5 months
Sashe Sashe I’m doing much better! Yours is still pretty fresh. Just keep watching these videos! If you have a faith.. cling to it and remember that none of this was your fault ❤️
Sheena Lynne I am unable to sleep it’s so hard for me
I love this video - it really really helped me. It’s unreal. I can’t believe how they can love you one day and next day hate you. No fight even needs to happen. He said to me that he told me what it was I didn’t listen to him. He acted like he was planning a future for us. When I confronted him about something he said that hurt me that’s when the discard happened. He was first very apologetic and kept calling me and texting me for me to accept his apology. When I did, I finally agreed to go away with him and then I changed my mind he got mad again. Completely discarded and said his feelings changed. I was like wait what?? I never experienced this in my life. Thank you for this video.
Dave...I dont know how many of us say thank you for reading our comments,but on behalf of all of us,who has made a comment or not..A BIG SHOUT OUT FROM ALL US EMPATHS DAVE,THANK YOU THANK YOU AND THANK YOU..!!
stay NARCONAVIRUS free..DAVE FOR PRESIDENT 2020😊🤟💯
The hoover came right now and interrupted this video..
You were so right!
During corona quarantine they have to hoover..
Omg!
Mine keeps trying to be nice and sends texts. She’s the one that was discarded. Not me.
Exactly same situation i am facing
I am sure you would have never discarded anybody unfairly Jay - I'm sure you gave them every chance to square up.
Was the same for me except male.
Jay Dobbins she is probably mad that you discarded her. How dare you? She wants to suck you in, then discard you! Don’t answer her text and block her. Otherwise you will fall into the same trap allover again. Mine hoovered me last July, and this time he didn’t have his mask on. He showed me his demonic side, and since then I have blocked him. No more hoovers. I was confusing his hoovers and desire to help me as his love for me. Now I know who he is, and how these demons function. When you understand this, it’s easier to forget about them.
@@violetab3750 YES, they need to be the one who does the discard...sole reason for many hooverz.. if u discarded them, that"wound" is nearly unbearable psychologically for them...
My Ex husband of 31 years use to serve at our church! He was a total different man than what I thought and his mask came off and I didn't recognize this person I had spent most of my life with. He was so cold, unsympathetic to my tears and the pain he caused. I was looking at the face of a demon! Be careful to educate yourself so this doesn't happen to You! God Bless
I have been hoovered numerous times since December. But like clockwork with the pandemic going on, she works in the service industry and I know she's stuck at home not able to get supply from coworkers. Sure enough I got hoovered last Thursday, less than a month before she was attacking me on social media. Have not responded to the pandemic Hoover. After watching videos like yours it's almost like I know her every move. Seems to be about every 2 weeks I get a Hoover
Nick Shades but her head pops off when you do NOT respond. 😂😂😂
Nick Shades she just wants sex don’t give it make her go crazy
After 2 months on March 20 he sent me a friend request and it was hard but when I saw his profile picture and that fake smile it made me sick to my stomach. When I thought about how he talked and treated me when all I wanted to do was love him I deleted and blocked him God is so good because he gave me the strength to let go. Thank you for the videos. I come here often to read testamonies of others. God leed me to these sites I never knew a thing like this exsisted except through demonic forces. I am in my right mind did not have to take meds of any kind God delivered me from the claws of the enemy. and he freed from that madness. I am now full of peace. After a 5 year on an off long distance crazyship.
I hope God gives me the strength also.
@@rturtle5795 he will have asked Jesus to come into your life be head over you if allow to just him to. Come and help you
My mom is a narcissist I’m a empath. When I went no contact with her she used her flying monkeys to get information from me. It was eating at her the fact that her only daughter caught her off. Till this day she denies the abuse and puts the blame on me😒 I later attracted my ex who claimed he was my soulmate was a narcissist when he abused me he said I deserved it the damage from both of them is a lot I was admitted to the hospital because I was suicidal I’m still trying to heal these videos are what helped me heal.
🧡❤💛
Stay no contact, some day, you'll heal and be glad that they are out of your life. 🙏🙏🙏
Sharisa: Good luck with your recovery hun x
I am sorry you went through that. It will only make your stronger in the long run, I am in the same boat.
Stay strong and ignore the negativity, focus on beautiful things 💕🌹🙏🏼
Don't even let them back in when they try to come back. Block them everywhere, and if they manage to reach you some how, don't respond or give them the time of day.
Gas Guzzlers 🙄
Sickest thing I unfortunately had in my life! Still trying to contact me after decades, even though he hates my guts
They think we are stupid!
❌NO CONTACT❌
THEY USE THEIR OWN CHILDREN AS SUPPLY!
They are incapable of having relationships!
I'm an electrician and I love the lighting in your house!
Mine left the evening I had a couple of friends over for dinner, one of which I had not seen in over 20 years. He just walked out the back door and left, I haven't seen or heard from him since. I guess our laughing and having a good time was too much for him.
Thank You! 3.5 months no contact and no Hoover yet after 4 year relationship
I totally LOVE this message Dave, you’re 1,000% spot on!! When my ex narc left I told them “you’re a different person” their response was “I’ve always been the same person, you were just blinded by the lovie dovey sh!t”... Can’t thank you enough for doing what you do!!
No heart,no soul,no feeling for no one or animals.
My soon to be ex showed up today and tried to sleep with me. I prayed and he left! Ugh
The Hoover came immediately after we broke up, then stopped for about 2 wks and started back again. I am still No contact.
It is almost 3 yrs anniversary now I found your channel Dave. I’m so happy to see its still up for anyone that is just starting on their journey. Thank you so much for this channel. You were my guiding light when there was none. Thank you eternally. Xoxo 💪💜✨
5 years later I received a hoover. I ignored it. It drove on. It got zero reaction from me. In no way do I care about that creature.
I'm moving forwards always. Never going backward again.
They give you the silent treatment but can’t handle when you do it back to them.
Thank you so much for making this video Dave, these past 3 months have been hell on earth for me. I was discarded after being married 6 years. I've gone no contact and he hasn't reached out either. Every day is challenging
He will. My ex took 10 YEARS!
I hate these folks exist... I hate... That I hate.... I hate that I spend 1 second thinking about this person... I hate that they made me hate.... Forgiveness is tough.... But I am working on forgiving myself to move along
I am an introvert and has very little friends to none.. my ex is covert narcissist and has a lot of friends.. my parents a re also narcs.. it so difficult and painful ..you dont know who else can you trust , I became more introverted
Hoovered at 54 weeks.She used the virus as her excuse.Didn't respond
After 4.5 years?!
54 weeks LOLLOL
My ex also disappeared during quarantine. I am very pregnant and no matter how much I tried to get a hold of him I couldn't. Last week his new girlfriend tried to friend request me. I did talk to her and told her he just disappeared. Day before yesterday he texted me asking what I want. He knows all I want is to have a a happy family with him. I told him that and he said we would talk soon once he figures things out. I just keep blaming myself. I wasn't perfect and now my baby has no dad.
After bein discarded, I worked on myself. Lost a little weight. New clothes. Did my hair and makeup. Felt so good about myself. That's when he would sneak off from his new "love" to text me and say how good I looked. How happy I was.
You are telling my story with the narc Dave word for word they all operate from the same playbook
Truly Diabolical!
Great video thank you Dave💯💕
I discarded her today, and blocked her, I did it in an aggressive way. And don’t think she would come back, otherwise I warned her it’s not going to be good for you.
Some times there is no need to mess around. Every one now understands what is line if she dares shows her face.
I needed this. He doesn’t show he wants me. He just blames me for us not working. He just left for two weeks and came back to our shared home. He has all these new ideas like wanting our home after in a settlement offer that I get the house. It took me a week to be ok in my skin and now I’m totally triggered in one hour he has been home. I told him to text, email or talk to my attorney.
I was hoovered many times, but the longest was three months. One day he would just call me like he had seen me the day before. I have been NO CONTACT for Six months now. I changed my phone number, blocked him in every social media possible. Thank God we live in different countries which makes it more difficult for him to come my way and try to suck me back in. It does take lots of courage but I am actually healing. You have been very helpful Dave. God bless you always!
they push and push and push hoping that you will tolerate absolutely everything and anything- the point when you say "no" you are instantly "hated"- its absolute insanity.
Heh heh - Dave - I've only JUST got the 'harem garage' thing - they park you in the garage for the next time they want to abuse you, ha!
They put you on a 'shelve'...(Yotube: Knowing the Narcissist)
And they usually have several "garages".
Yeps & several burn phones ;-)
I didn’t even get discarded. I woke up and left him. Blocked him everywhere. He’s the one who won’t leave me alone.
3rd time lucky I finally have no emotion left. I’m over it now, it’s hilarious. Thanks for all you do ❤️
I know first hand about being the bestie. At first things were good, then the push pull started. 2 1/2 yrs. She always wanted me to rescue her from abusive boyfriends or whatever drama she got into. Last fight she told me she hadn't liked me for over a year. Finally, her words matched her actions. I went no contact, then the stalking started and stopped. She called from an unidentified number to tell me that I was her only friend. I told her to leave me alone.
Btw. Thank you Dave for doing these rants. You're a good man and very well spoken. I've said it before, I can see from a mile away you're a good person. I wish you all the best because you sincerely do deserve it! In a non narcissistic way of course.
Meeting this ex.narcissist opened so much stuff from childhood to now but I have to say after him it's really opened my eyes to alot of unhealed trauma from childhood and understanding and breaking "cycle" growing up I remember always doing everything to please my narcisists growing up as a child and I always wonder the woman I am now why do I attract narcisistic men..... I know now thanks to my ex narc ......
It was painful and I felt like I was in abyss with all the experience I went thru from the day I was born to the woman I am now!
My healing will continue and I am proud of myself and I can look in the mirror and say I love myself and everything that was ever said to me to believe was a lie
Narcisisst are harmful beings!!!
Wen your raised by narcissist parents and step mom you become conditioned to feel a certain way of yourself - breaking the cycle!
💜💜💜
Thanks to utube and the ppl who share knowledge on this matter
Taught me alot ty!
I am legitimately laughing and smirking at every sentence and every single word you are saying in this video. It is so on point to EXACTLY what I went through with the discard from my Husband, it’s insane! It is such a huge relief knowing that I am not crazy and that he legitimately as NPD without a doubt. Thank you for posting this Dave
Forgiving the narcissist allows you to forgive yourself. Then BLOCK them.
I think they come back because, since they see everything as competition, once they prop up that false self with some new imitations (meeting new people, learning some new phrases, stealing bits of other identities etc) they want to see how they will "mimic", almost like benchmark performance test they want to see it in action at you.
I married two Narcs. I absolutely had now idea of this evil being.
I discarded them 4 months ago with NC so I don't expect a hoover 😊. Ive blocked them and was never friends on social media. Everyone be safe, God bless!
I was discarded..silence for a year then he pops up again like nothing happened. I fell for his bullshit lines and went back. He discarded me again ten times worse . Please do not go back. Block delete and run.
Dave your face is so pure your voice so calm never seen a more radiant person, also very useful information 👍🏼⭐️
Agree 😁
everything you’re saying is spot on.. i’m so happy i discovered your channel! you made me realize a lot and helped me accept and move on! thank you!❤️
I love when you do these situation videos. I’m from Nashville. My Narc. She called twice when we had our tornados. I had to catch myself and remember how the 1st 2 Hoover’s turned out
I have not received a hoover yet. We have been divorced for 6 years.
My Hoover took TEN YEARS!
Wow!
Mine took a week. Still going on 8 months later. I don't respond.
Mine seem to come back every three years and tell me how great we would have been together and how great sex was. No! Asshole! It wasn’t. I just tell him to get lost and he retrieves for another 3 years lol. He’s been hovering me for the last 10 years.
Thank god
Great video as always Dave! Unless you've been through it with a narcissist you just cannot explain it to anyone so they understand it. Everyone thinks it's a regular break up, so I just stopped trying to explain it to friends or family. I've been no contact for 10 months. No contact, no social media, changed my phone number, and even moved so I don't think the Hoover will ever come. But then again, like you've mentioned in the past, they always return somehow.
Omg! You hit the nail on tbe head when you said they get their supply from people at work. In my miserable experience every single person in his harem garage is from past jobs he's had. What an eye opener. I'm so thankful for you and this support group Dave. Thank you!
My narc left me for a fat ugly guy. Before disappear ing into the night she punched me several times around my head. Verbal abuse violence thats the the final discard. Six months later i get a phone call. I didn't answer as i had nothing to say to this vile monster. These days i couldn't be more at peace with myself. Peace and love to all you survivors from wessex england.
Ross Field
My narcissist husband of 25 years is leaving me for a short, dumpy,ugly, big jawed, cross eyed, sun spotted skinned narcissist! Lol. THEY ARE BOTH NARCISSIST!!! Lol!! I know he doesn’t love her & I know she doesn’t love him.
@@aprilmurray1080 you see my ex was very attractive ( onthe outside) and when people saw them together they were absolutely shocked. They have a child together. I overheard somebody call the child shrek. Poor kid its not their fault. I know she's violent so i really hope that that child isn't subject to abuse.
Ross Field
Oh my. I am so sorry for what you have been through with your narc and I am sorry for their child. Well, it’s good to know that you have survived such a tragic & horrendous chapter in your life. I am hoping to do the same. By the Grace of the Lord, I will. He hates me & I don’t know what I have done; I only lived to love him. I went NC last July bc I realized then that EVERYTHING that came out his mouth was a lie. Especially about his new supply. He told me he gave her up 5 years ago when I first found out about her. I know he doesn’t love her & she THINKS she loves him bc he is high up in the food chain with his career. But they can spend their time taking turns screwing each other over bc they both only truly love themselves. They are empty & soulless.
@@aprilmurray1080 just take this lockdown as a time to reflect a bit on your life but not in a dark way. If you have a garden go out and do some work, grow stuff it will take your mind of negativity. I am quite luck in the fact i am surrounded by beautiful english countryside and I'm only eight miles from stonehenge. Every cloud has a silver lineing. Love from wessex. 😉
@@aprilmurray1080 dont be bitter and hate filled.i suspect u are no prize yourself :)
8months...was shocked when it came...never answered the calls. You are always on point I tell you Dave. the Hoover will definitely come but stay no contact and do respond to what God has saved you from. Redemption time!
Totally agree with what you said Dave . My ex narc loved me one day ,two days later ghost me for 6 days.His sister said "I guess he moved on". Yea like I did something wrong.And he moved on to better things.Ha! She didn't
want to say anything against her brother.Wth! 🤨
Kelly, I had the exact same thing happen to me! Me and my ex narc were together for 7 years & had a daughter together & had gotten along with his family just fine. Until he discarded me like yesterday's trash & acted as if I didn't exist & went right on to someone new. His sister acted as if I was the abnormal one for feeling so confused & heartbroken. She told me that he had moved on & I just needed to get it through my head that it was over & deal with it. Funny thing was, at that time, she was dealing with the fact her husband had cheated on her & she was upset about stuff & was confused about what she should do & who listened to her & showed her empathy...? ME! Did she show me an ounce of empathy? NOPE. Because, God forbid, she said one bad thing about her precious golden child baby brother!
This same thing happened to me .now praying to god to get an immediate healing.
She always was telling me I didn’t hear my phone ring yet she call me back with in 5min every time.
It took 10 years for my Pastor ex-husband narc to Hoover me, that's when upon receiving the knowledge, I knew that he is a bonefided narassiscist.💡