That is more suffering than I've ever seen in 12 minutes. Heartbreaking tribute, but very deeply moving. i once met a gay man with HIV back in the early '90s and I remember something he said to me: "Honey, if you're breathing you're successful." He died about 5 years later, but for some reason I never forgot that line.
Thanks Joseph. Moving tribute. I'm an 80's boy and this brings back so many sad memories of what happened with HIV. And I remember so many of these faces. May they rest in peace.
Sad. VERY SAD. Thanks for your effort. Being a rare survivor from Philly from the 70's, 80's, i've lost many friends and have watched all these stars. They have not died in vain.
10:55 Sergio canali''s murder is really chilling, he was kidnapped while in Florence, Italy by an obsessed fan. A huge police search found no trace of him. However two years later his remains were found in the basement of an abandoned home owned by his captor.
I worked with many many of these boys and men back in the early days of gay porn. I was a director and was friends with more than 20 of them listed here. Some surprised me to see them in this memorial, I had no idea what became of most of them. Back then we had no idea about HIV and it his a lot of them before we even had a name for it or any treatment. I left the business in the late 80's after I began to see so many of them getting ill or dying. This brought back many memories, both good and sad.
I think people today should still be careful, I know there are prep or pep that can stop HIV, but we don't know if there is something similar to HIV that comes out in the future.
Thanks for posting this. Very sad, but it is good to remember them. I have not thought about my friend Richard Locke in a long time. I worked with him doing HIV outreach when he lived in Sacramento and met Scott O'Hara a few times-wonderful guy. RIP.
I am a 64 year old mature man of Latin origin and I live in the Southern Hemisphere. These beautiful young men - now gods and angels in some undefined place, if there is a beyond - were part of my imaginative and playful sexual pleasure. And in my sad, poor and repressed youth due to living in an evangelical family they meant a lot, they were important in my most intimate moments of self-affirmation. Sorry for the emotion I express here, but I couldn't resist and cried, tears came to my eyes when I saw men who in my past gave me such unforgettable moments. In the 70s and 80s I even had my idols and favorites. Watching gay adult films at that time, even if hidden, was my liberating way of saying: My homosexuality is a blessing and I am proud to be who I am! Thank you very much for posting a memorial that keeps the memories of essential boys, yes, they were and are important!
RIP. My ex's brother died from pneumonia from having had HIV in 1993. Most of these beautiful men have sad expressions on their faces in these pictures as though they knew that they were about to pass away.
I think their sad expressions comes from maybe guilt and shame from allowing themselves to be sexually exploited, especially performing gay sex. Some of them I’ve heard are just gay-for-pay. Maybe they had to to earn money. Maybe they thought it would be liberating. Who knows for what reasons a person would want to show the most intimate part of themselves to complete strangers on camera. I know after awhile it takes a toll on your self worth I bet. Very sad that they died do painfully and tragically. They all were handsome. None pf them deserved to die ftom Aids, overdoses, and murder. May they all rest in everlasting joy!✨💖✨
In the 80s top of the Aids pandemic. A lot of lads went through so much agony and loneliness and prejudice with this disease. So so sad. To all you guys.. Thank you for the strength and way forward now in 2022. You are all awesome . RIP
Kyle Carrington and Lance of Leo and Lance fame were two of the most beautiful performers ever. The wiki article (since removed) on Lance said he had a very hard life; past around to many foster homes. Anyone know why Carrington took his life? Danny Roddick was a great performer. Sad he died such a pointless death; drug overdose. This was a moving video.So many beautiful young man died; never making it to 40. I'm glad you put this compilation together. Excellent selection for background music; moving yet not mawkish. Thank you!
This makes me angry and incredibly sad. I wasn't aware of some of these men and remember seeing their work. Such beautiful men dealing with the horrors of HIV, drugs, and overall depression which explains the high amount of suicide. Young men don't generally die from heart failure unless they're long time cocaine users. Very sad.
All these lives either taken away by drugs, depression or disease. So sad. Just reinforces the fact that porn is not the glamor industry that it appears to be. Rest in peace to them.
hello Joseph thanks for putting this tribute together. I as a person from the 80's and being an escort in the Boston Mass area was very very lucky that I survived the crazy things I had done. and over the yrs i have collected lots of stuff of many of these people you put in the tribute and at some point would like to put together a photo slide show of them. and as an older gay person i also have many many videos of these guys and am glad that i have kept this stuff over the yrs . and am now working on getting them on dvds to perserve there memory in that way . it is very sad that so many of these men lost there lives so young . I think that alot of the men these days really have to stop and think about the big picture of what could happen if they practice bb activities and not just for the moment of the thrill or making a quick amount of cash . And I can tell you from experience first hand that being in this bizz ; on film/escorting etc it ((is not)) as glamorous or thinking that you are going to get rich in the bizz . So guys should be very mindful of where they want to end up yrs into there adult life.
I came here before and felt compelled to watch this again. The music of it with "And the Band Played On" makes it more haunting. I remember seeing many of these men in videos and look how dated it looks now. It brings forth such sadness and anger in me. It even brings up my hatred as a gay man being brought up in a society that rejected them. Yes, they were free and yet enslaved within an industry. Suicide, drug abuse is something gay people understand due to the deep seated internal demons we have had to deal with where you felt alone from family and rejected. I think many of these men like many that aren't porn actors are seeking love and acceptance in a manner which manifests itself as evil in many ways. I'm middle-aged and terrified of any intimacy for fear of the risk. What angers me more is surfing through sites and finding young men in their early twenties engaging with numerous men without ANY protection. They seem to think if they seroconvert they can take pills for this for however long before deterioration. That's a hell of a gamble guys and there's sadly going to be another wave of beautiful, handsome men succumbing to this terror. It's ironic to say the religious right and their war on us along with a health epidemic did more to galvanize gay people into a movement. Sad, but true since I remember this news back in the Summer of 1981 when GRID was announced and nobody knew what was going on. If you're going to engage in sexual affairs, protect yourself and that goes for everybody.
My daughters room mate works for the AIDS foundation in Southern California. We've discussed the issue of safe sex many times. I always tell him to keep spreading the word that the HIV virus is still out there and to always practice safe sex. The younger generation didn't have to experience the horrors of the early years of AIDS and all the carnage that came with it. I think part of it has to do with the fact that there are medicines available. They don't take into account that those medicines are very expensive and there are many side effects. And it's unfortunate but sometimes the medicines simply are not effective. Even in this day and age ,,,people still die due to HIV/AIDS related illness. Always practice safe sex.
Its so sad to see these beautiful men and how their life was cut short...HIV, Suicide,and overdose. maybe getting into an industry they couldn't handle and didn't protect themselves. It makes me very sad.
Most of these men were raised in a time of extreme intolerance and cruelity toward Gay people. They should be honored as heroes since they helped to make this a more understanding and accepting world to live in. They have not been forgotten.
Heart breaking and to think this is part 1 of 2 All of these men were sons, brothers, friends or partners of someone, yes, very upsetting ... I hope they all are at peace now
Thought that this was really sad, looking at all those faces. Reading the comments below I am amazed how some people claim to know exactly what these guys were thinking and doing. Don't judge people who you have never met. RIP all of them.
This video and several others like it started me on a quest to understand why people are still dying of AIDS in this era of antiretroviral drug cocktails. Apparently, heart attacks and cardiac events were numerous after the advent of effective AIDS meds but before statins were developed because the AIDS drugs make the cholesterol level go sky high. Prior steroid and recreational drug use exacerbated this problem, and is still a complicating factor. Also, pneumonia apparently still kills about as many AIDS victims after the advent of effective AIDS meds as before. Also, so many people with AIDS have coinfections of Hepatitis C, and only VERY recently has a cure for Hepatitis C been available, and it's prohibitively expensive. The AIDS meds add an additional burden to the already beleaguered hepatitis-infected liver, and it fails. Hepatitis A & B can be life threatening in conjunction with AIDS/HIV. And, so many people who get AIDS aren't responsible, either b/c of drugs or mental impairment, and they either don't get diagnosed until it's too late, or they don't take the meds responsibly, and so they die. There is also the problem that the AIDS drugs are toxic, so there is a limit to how long some people can tolerate them, and there are some strains of AIDS that are resistant to some degree to the AIDS meds. There were problems even after the turn of the millennium with social security not providing the AIDS medicines, and with the patient assistance programs of the drug companies that make the AIDS drugs putting people on waiting lists, and some died on those waiting lists. In other words, affordability and access were factors, too. How much longer will we have to wait for a true cure? And, when it comes, who will be able to afford it, and who won't?
I got family membeers on HIV meds.. Today meds are about 99% effective...Far less toxic as the first ones inthe begining....Last time my stepbrother went to doctor about 3 weeks ago they put him on a new drug...But before that he been taking HIV meds since 1998 Everytthing is fine..Hes living extreamly well .... Each time he gos to the doctor his results are great..!!! .TODAY HIV meds are extreamly promising..If they weren't ...None of his tests would be coming back great...Doctor tells him his liver good and his T 4 cell are great... Eveything great..It's 2023 He's been on HIV meds of some sort since the late 90's...All good 11 /10/23
Very thought provoking video. So many young men gone too young. ........they shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old.........we shall remember them....
Thank you for doing this. I knew Arpad distantly and Roman (Dror) pretty well. I didn't see the gay community marginalizing them, or others, but their deaths made me wonder if there is something darker in the industry than we can see. I do know the studios really take advantage financially. Michael Lucas is worth millions, as are others. As a therapist, I once wrote to him to suggest some kind of screening for suicide. I got the brush off. It is still a mystery to me -- I think the beauty of men should be celebrated, but why this terrible cost?
Wow, I used go the gym and clubs with some of guys: Studio One, Hayloft, Oil Can Harry's, Blue Parrot, and Detour up to San Francisco and its craziness in the 70's and 80's. Eric Stryker I alway hugged him when we would go to Motherlode when it first opened, he was good friend, Tim Kramer, handsome guy and sweet to talk to, and my love of my life Jeremy Brent, always waited for him to go to the Blue Parrot and sit with me and talk, he knew I loved him and he would hug on to me and would hold on to me, I was in dream heaven, but I was not his type he preferred more the brawny, muscular type Colt Studio and he was Colt Studio. I was too much of a collage boy for him. I always tell my friends living in the 70's and 80's like storming the beaches of Normandy and there wasn't a bullet with my name on it. Wherever they are may they be at peace.
" Being different is not something you embrace in your life as a badge of honor. You simply play the cards that fate has dealt to you. I've also learned the hard way that any hand dealt to you can be a winner. It all depends on how you choose to perceive the outcome." - Anonymous
Simply numbing. All of these young, beautiful men struck down in the prime of their lives. To all my "brothers" out there, PLAY IT SAFE. You life is simply not worth risking for basically minutes of pleasure. If you're having thoughts of suicide, please call someone--anyone. God bless you all; RIP.
I moved to San Francisco in 1988 with the unrealistic expectation of a constant party. Instead, half of gay men were HIV +. I ended up taking a job in hospice and cared for many men with AIDS. It was depressing. Still, I was able to provide some comfort in their final days.
I absolutely love the music, It's fitting for a fitting tribute to those men who lost their lives and I bet they didn't enjoy a single moment of it. I support Joseph Sciambra, porn stars are dying needlessly and it needs to stop!
its obvious the guys who committed suicide became so depressed, realizing the life they led, no hope, no future, and used up..very tragic...some are probably guys who came out LA or SF looking for a "good" life and got hooked into this vile industry and rugs..I imagine some might have had hiv and didn't want to die that way and maybe some were now so ashamed and embarrassed they couldn't face their families again
This video makes me sad - but anyhow many thanks to Joseph Sciambra to show us the cruelty of (porn) life. Does anybody know, if David Ashfield and Chad Douglas are still alive or what's their business today?
When I was in College I Bartended at a Cruise Bar in Chicago where they would show porn non-stop , I remember more then 1/2 these faces pisses me off to no end that a lot of young Gays seem to think Aids is just a STD if they had been around in the mid 80's they wouldn't think that , out of the 30 or more employees I worked with I know of only one other that didn't die of HIV and he was my Partner. Sad.
Knew Arpad Miklos (Peter Kozma) well. A dear friend and roommate upon his arrival in New York. Divine sense of humor, loved the outdoors and enjoyed world travel. Miss him everyday.
When I compiled this list, I did not discriminate against anyone because of ethnicity or for any other reason. The sad truth is that we simply do not know who or how many have died because of their involvement in the porn industry; most were just disregarded after their time of usefulness came to an end; they could have simply just faded away - unnoticed.
This video is a powerful reminder of the human cost associated with the adult film industry. Gay or straight, pornography does a lot of damage to the men and women whose bodies and souls sustain the billion dollar industry. One wonders if there isn't a better way to protect the people who become involved in making pornographic films.
The men who committed suicide, I theorize, are reaching out for help, but no one was there. I hope there is a way to reach them before it is too late. I also hope that through this site, a ministry can be established.
The guy at @6:45 Wade Nichols, wasn't he a soap opera star too? I could have sworn I've seen him on a soap opera back in the late 70's/early 80s, when I was very young either "The Edge Of Night?" or was it "Guiding Light?" can't remember.
Wade Nichols was on the Edge of Night but under the name Dennis Parker he played the Chief of Police I can't remember what his name on the show was., He only did a few Gay Porn's but did a large number of straight porns until appearing on EON he also released a few singles put out by Casablanca records the same lable as the Village People.
I found this video by accident a few weeks ago but did not watch it. Its been haunting me and today I watched the whole thing. I had to go back and confirm some in the video, I used to correspond with Mike Henson when I was in college in the 80's.
O ano é 2019!!!...muitos destes atores falecidos partiram à muitos anos!....peço em nome de JESUS CRISTO que todos tenham alcançado à paz no Reino dos Céus! Amém.... Saudades eternas!
I last bought porn since the early 2000s when I realized most of my 'heroes' were gone or sick. True, I knew of three local porn 'stars' who evhoed the sentiment that porn wasn't glamorious as portrayed. All kept their 'careers' short from.whst I knew then. So much undafe sex in the industry in the 80-early 90s. Testing wasnt required. Many had emotional and substance abuse issues prior to entry and the industry didn't help the situations. May the all RIP.
9 років тому+3
I was interested in how much premature death there was amongst pornography workers, specifically suicide compared to the general population. My focus, being non-gay myself, was the relationship between pornand its females workers. I was disheartened to see the carnage there and wondered why the CDC -P does not declare that the professioon is a serious health hazard to its participants. As I went from one memorial to another, this video showed up in the sidebar. I was curious about what was contributing to the early demise of gay male porn workers. I have no interest in gay porn so I have bo knowledge of these workers; however, after only a couple of minutes in to the video, the recurrent theme is HIV related deaths. This is truly a crisis and my heart bleeds on one hand and is disturbed, almost angry, on the other. How can one see the devastation in such a concentrated group and not declare this a national crisis. True love for humanity will warn against the root of the cause of these premature deaths. The elephant in the room is not necessarily the porn industry or the lack of safe sex, but that there is something inherently unsafe about the type of sex that these sex workers/actors participated in. It would be like addressing the earlier lead poisoning epidemic in certain poor children populations as one of the children just not ingesting lead safely instead of noting that lead is not meant to be ingested, and children should not be exposed to the lead period. Some behaviors are not to be undertaken and the consequences of such can not be eradicated if the participation in such is not first eradicated. If the lgbt truly cared, as I do and as do many others who are commenting here on this video, then that should be the message. If not hepatitis, syphilis or HIV, then something else will crop up at a later date to remind us that there is no safe way to ingest lead (metaphorically speaking). The non-gay premature deaths seem to pale in the wake of the gay premature deaths. The CDC-P should be on every gay porn film shooting site with a bullhorn in hand. This is a tragedy. Just sayin'.
kyle Carrington killed himself by discovering that he had AIDS HIV and killed by shot in the head on August 15, 1989 in havai in honolulu to 34 years. steve fox had AIDS and depression killed himself with shot in the head in 1997 at age 31. and also Mike Henson was different he already had AIDS and was killed in the heroines drugs. their worlds fell apart they were lost and the short life of sin's salary is death. r.i.p.
My dear friend Mike who died with AIDS once said to me that he had "Lived fast, died young, and left a beautiful corpse "! And he was right! I miss him every day!
9:53pm. I am now 73 and I remember ALL THESE MEN. As I cry bitter sweet tears of remembrance. I have survivor guilt any of them could have been me. I too have HIV but have been testing undetectable for 10+ yrs on meds! This fine tribute makes me ask why me? I spent 37yrs as a Critical Care Nurse. The 1st death 1984was a best friend who said to me “You have to be a nurse look how they are treating us”. I somedays wish I had NOT SURVIVED!
Joseph, in answer to your question of which films did I direct. There were approximately 100 over the years, among them THE IDOL, CATCHING UP, EROTIKUS, DUST UNTO DUST, SONS OF SATAN, THE GROUPIE, and so many many more…too many to list. But many of them have been reviewed and written about in numerous magazines from back then, namely MANDATE and IN TOUCH, MANSHOTS, SKIN, STALLION, DRUMMER and even VARIETY reviewed CATCHING UP.
Thank you for posting a memorial fr these me. Difficult to watch, as it opened a floodgate of personal losses. I was one of the fortunate does that somehow escaped this fate.
These were all somebodies little boy. It is hard to look in their eyes and wonder where they were at in their lives when they hit the fork in the road and made the wrong choice. My guess is many of them had that choice made FOR them as children. Very sad but well done. Most likely the only respectful acknowledgement they have or ever will have.
All lost souls whom found only death. So sad and I noticed not one of the models where smiling also all of their eyes where lifeless. So harrowing to see.
![Dead Gay Porn Stars Memorial [Sped-Up Version]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/7rihIg9Vtv8/mqdefault.jpg)
![Dead Gay Porn Stars Memorial [Sped-Up Version]](/img/tr.png)
Thank you very much for posting this. Only a caring person would have took the time to make such a lovely tribute.
the most depressing thing I've ever watched . . teared up . . . thank you for this.
That is more suffering than I've ever seen in 12 minutes. Heartbreaking tribute, but very deeply moving. i once met a gay man with HIV back in the early '90s and I remember something he said to me: "Honey, if you're breathing you're successful." He died about 5 years later, but for some reason I never forgot that line.
A friend of mine died from aids in the early 90's and his words ... "No guys *um load is worth this!" ... always resonated with me.
Thanks Joseph. Moving tribute. I'm an 80's boy and this brings back so many sad memories of what happened with HIV. And I remember so many of these faces. May they rest in peace.
They died so that we can live a peaceful and long life. It made the scientific community realize the severity of AIDS epidemic.
Sad. VERY SAD. Thanks for your effort. Being a rare survivor from Philly from the 70's, 80's, i've lost many friends and have watched all these stars. They have not died in vain.
10:55 Sergio canali''s murder is really chilling, he was kidnapped while in Florence, Italy by an obsessed fan. A huge police search found no trace of him. However two years later his remains were found in the basement of an abandoned home owned by his captor.
My friend was HIV and drug addicted, he died alone…..he suffered depression for along time….he is in peace now….bless you all……
Sad to hear this
This is one of the saddest memorials I've ever seen.
I worked with many many of these boys and men back in the early days of gay porn. I was a director and was friends with more than 20 of them listed here. Some surprised me to see them in this memorial, I had no idea what became of most of them. Back then we had no idea about HIV and it his a lot of them before we even had a name for it or any treatment. I left the business in the late 80's after I began to see so many of them getting ill or dying. This brought back many memories, both good and sad.
TOM D. thanks for adding on to all of this with your comment.💛
I think people today should still be careful, I know there are prep or pep that can stop HIV, but we don't know if there is something similar to HIV that comes out in the future.
Tears are running down on my face
And since 2019 they played the Game again.
Thanks for sharing
Gay, straight or whatever you may be, please love and respect yourself.
You can't really respect others, if you don't respect yourself..
Thanks for posting this. Very sad, but it is good to remember them. I have not thought about my friend Richard Locke in a long time. I worked with him doing HIV outreach when he lived in Sacramento and met Scott O'Hara a few times-wonderful guy. RIP.
I met both Richard Locke and Scott Ohara
I am a 64 year old mature man of Latin origin and I live in the Southern Hemisphere. These beautiful young men - now gods and angels in some undefined place, if there is a beyond - were part of my imaginative and playful sexual pleasure. And in my sad, poor and repressed youth due to living in an evangelical family they meant a lot, they were important in my most intimate moments of self-affirmation. Sorry for the emotion I express here, but I couldn't resist and cried, tears came to my eyes when I saw men who in my past gave me such unforgettable moments. In the 70s and 80s I even had my idols and favorites. Watching gay adult films at that time, even if hidden, was my liberating way of saying: My homosexuality is a blessing and I am proud to be who I am! Thank you very much for posting a memorial that keeps the memories of essential boys, yes, they were and are important!
Resting well in God's Kingdom. ❤
Te entiendo perfectamente! Aunque nací a principios de los 80' las revistas eran mi escape en mi intimidad! Abrazos y saludos!
RIP. My ex's brother died from pneumonia from having had HIV in 1993. Most of these beautiful men have sad expressions on their faces in these pictures as though they knew that they were about to pass away.
I think their sad expressions comes from maybe guilt and shame from allowing themselves to be sexually exploited, especially performing gay sex. Some of them I’ve heard are just gay-for-pay. Maybe they had to to earn money. Maybe they thought it would be liberating. Who knows for what reasons a person would want to show the most intimate part of themselves to complete strangers on camera. I know after awhile it takes a toll on your self worth I bet. Very sad that they died do painfully and tragically. They all were handsome. None pf them deserved to die ftom Aids, overdoses, and murder. May they all rest in everlasting joy!✨💖✨
Wow, I was thinking the same thing!
Sad to see that so many of these men commited Suicide. Truly sorry and upsetting. Rest in peace.
The Lost Boys.
R.I.P.
This was completely sad. May they all rest in peace! 🙏🏾😞
It’s too sad to watch, I only survived because I was celibate during those years.
Ditto
I am glad you made it!
Me too. I lost my best friends during that period
13 friends all together
😢
In the 80s top of the Aids pandemic. A lot of lads went through so much agony and loneliness and prejudice with this disease. So so sad. To all you guys.. Thank you for the strength and way forward now in 2022. You are all awesome . RIP
Kyle Carrington and Lance of Leo and Lance fame were two of the most beautiful performers ever. The wiki article (since removed) on Lance said he had a very hard life; past around to many foster homes. Anyone know why Carrington took his life?
Danny Roddick was a great performer. Sad he died such a pointless death; drug overdose.
This was a moving video.So many beautiful young man died; never making it to 40. I'm glad you put this compilation together. Excellent selection for background music; moving yet not mawkish. Thank you!
This makes me angry and incredibly sad. I wasn't aware of some of these men and remember seeing their work. Such beautiful men dealing with the horrors of HIV, drugs, and overall depression which explains the high amount of suicide. Young men don't generally die from heart failure unless they're long time cocaine users. Very sad.
A lovely, saddening tribute. Thanks for posting this ... It made me wonder what happened to the so many of the black and latino porn stars as well.
thank u thank u thank u for making this memorial videos to honor all of them. May their souls R.I.P
All these lives either taken away by drugs, depression or disease. So sad. Just reinforces the fact that porn is not the glamor industry that it appears to be. Rest in peace to them.
Thanks. The longest 12 minutes in my life showing the loss of so many wonderful men. Frightening to see HIV and suicide take so many guys.
hello Joseph thanks for putting this tribute together. I as a person from the 80's and being an escort in the Boston Mass area was very very lucky that I survived the crazy things I had done. and over the yrs i have collected lots of stuff of many of these people you put in the tribute and at some point would like to put together a photo slide show of them. and as an older gay person i also have many many videos of these guys and am glad that i have kept this stuff over the yrs . and am now working on getting them on dvds to perserve there memory in that way . it is very sad that so many of these men lost there lives so young . I think that alot of the men these days really have to stop and think about the big picture of what could happen if they practice bb activities and not just for the moment of the thrill or making a quick amount of cash . And I can tell you from experience first hand that being in this bizz ; on film/escorting etc it ((is not)) as glamorous or thinking that you are going to get rich in the bizz . So guys should be very mindful of where they want to end up yrs into there adult life.
OMG adam faust also died so sad
I also consider it a miracle I survived it all AKA Justin Cade.
I knew so many of these guys, back in the 70's and 80's, when i lived in California!!! just so hard to believe they are all gone!!
Sorry for your loss
Gerry Panzica I wish I could meet them
I came here before and felt compelled to watch this again. The music of it with "And the Band Played On" makes it more haunting. I remember seeing many of these men in videos and look how dated it looks now. It brings forth such sadness and anger in me. It even brings up my hatred as a gay man being brought up in a society that rejected them. Yes, they were free and yet enslaved within an industry. Suicide, drug abuse is something gay people understand due to the deep seated internal demons we have had to deal with where you felt alone from family and rejected. I think many of these men like many that aren't porn actors are seeking love and acceptance in a manner which manifests itself as evil in many ways. I'm middle-aged and terrified of any intimacy for fear of the risk. What angers me more is surfing through sites and finding young men in their early twenties engaging with numerous men without ANY protection. They seem to think if they seroconvert they can take pills for this for however long before deterioration. That's a hell of a gamble guys and there's sadly going to be another wave of beautiful, handsome men succumbing to this terror. It's ironic to say the religious right and their war on us along with a health epidemic did more to galvanize gay people into a movement. Sad, but true since I remember this news back in the Summer of 1981 when GRID was announced and nobody knew what was going on. If you're going to engage in sexual affairs, protect yourself and that goes for everybody.
My daughters room mate works for the AIDS foundation in Southern California. We've discussed the issue of safe sex many times. I always tell him to keep spreading the word that the HIV virus is still out there and to always practice safe sex. The younger generation didn't have to experience the horrors of the early years of AIDS and all the carnage that came with it. I think part of it has to do with the fact that there are medicines available. They don't take into account that those medicines are very expensive and there are many side effects. And it's unfortunate but sometimes the medicines simply are not effective. Even in this day and age ,,,people still die due to HIV/AIDS related illness. Always practice safe sex.
Its so sad to see these beautiful men and how their life was cut short...HIV, Suicide,and overdose. maybe getting into an industry they couldn't handle and didn't protect themselves. It makes me very sad.
Most of these men were raised in a time of extreme intolerance and cruelity toward Gay people. They should be honored as heroes since they helped to make this a more understanding and accepting world to live in. They have not been forgotten.
Terrific compilation! Tough to see these men and what happened.
Heart breaking and to think this is part 1 of 2
All of these men were sons, brothers, friends or partners of someone, yes, very upsetting ... I hope they all are at peace now
Absolutely beautiful memorial.
I felt their lives so close to mine,as I know them.Very sad video,bud thank you for it,you ceep the memoryes live!
Joseph, a wonderful tribute. I believe the photo for Jeremy Scott (2:45) is actually Brian Hawkes aka Shawn McIvan.
Pornography kills! It's the new drug ... and few are showing reality, like you, Joseph Sciambra! God bless you!
Pornography didn't kill them a virus along with the antipathy of the Reagan administration did.
Pornography didn't kill them a virus along with the antipathy of the Reagan administration did.
Thought that this was really sad, looking at all those faces. Reading the comments below I am amazed how some people claim to know exactly what these guys were thinking and doing. Don't judge people who you have never met. RIP all of them.
Too many too soon. A very touching tribute to those we've lost.
This video and several others like it started me on a quest to understand why people are still dying of AIDS in this era of antiretroviral drug cocktails. Apparently, heart attacks and cardiac events were numerous after the advent of effective AIDS meds but before statins were developed because the AIDS drugs make the cholesterol level go sky high. Prior steroid and recreational drug use exacerbated this problem, and is still a complicating factor. Also, pneumonia apparently still kills about as many AIDS victims after the advent of effective AIDS meds as before. Also, so many people with AIDS have coinfections of Hepatitis C, and only VERY recently has a cure for Hepatitis C been available, and it's prohibitively expensive. The AIDS meds add an additional burden to the already beleaguered hepatitis-infected liver, and it fails. Hepatitis A & B can be life threatening in conjunction with AIDS/HIV. And, so many people who get AIDS aren't responsible, either b/c of drugs or mental impairment, and they either don't get diagnosed until it's too late, or they don't take the meds responsibly, and so they die. There is also the problem that the AIDS drugs are toxic, so there is a limit to how long some people can tolerate them, and there are some strains of AIDS that are resistant to some degree to the AIDS meds. There were problems even after the turn of the millennium with social security not providing the AIDS medicines, and with the patient assistance programs of the drug companies that make the AIDS drugs putting people on waiting lists, and some died on those waiting lists. In other words, affordability and access were factors, too. How much longer will we have to wait for a true cure? And, when it comes, who will be able to afford it, and who won't?
I got family membeers on HIV meds.. Today meds are about 99% effective...Far less toxic as the first ones inthe begining....Last time my stepbrother went to doctor about 3 weeks ago they put him on a new drug...But before that he been taking HIV meds since 1998 Everytthing is fine..Hes living extreamly well .... Each time he gos to the doctor his results are great..!!! .TODAY HIV meds are extreamly promising..If they weren't ...None of his tests would be coming back great...Doctor tells him his liver good and his T 4 cell are great... Eveything great..It's 2023 He's been on HIV meds of some sort since the late 90's...All good 11 /10/23
Very thought provoking video. So many young men gone too young.
........they shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old.........we shall remember them....
Now I am thinking how hurt and how much pain the parents and friends experienced of all of these beautiful young men.
A lot of them didn't even know
Thank you for doing this. I knew Arpad distantly and Roman (Dror) pretty well. I didn't see the gay community marginalizing them, or others, but their deaths made me wonder if there is something darker in the industry than we can see. I do know the studios really take advantage financially. Michael Lucas is worth millions, as are others. As a therapist, I once wrote to him to suggest some kind of screening for suicide. I got the brush off. It is still a mystery to me -- I think the beauty of men should be celebrated, but why this terrible cost?
I think it's a combination of drugs, sex work and Steroids. Then depression kicks in.
Wow, I used go the gym and clubs with some of guys: Studio One, Hayloft, Oil Can Harry's, Blue Parrot, and Detour up to San Francisco and its craziness in the 70's and 80's. Eric Stryker I alway hugged him when we would go to Motherlode when it first opened, he was good friend, Tim Kramer, handsome guy and sweet to talk to, and my love of my life Jeremy Brent, always waited for him to go to the Blue Parrot and sit with me and talk, he knew I loved him and he would hug on to me and would hold on to me, I was in dream heaven, but I was not his type he preferred more the brawny, muscular type Colt Studio and he was Colt Studio. I was too much of a collage boy for him. I always tell my friends living in the 70's and 80's like storming the beaches of Normandy and there wasn't a bullet with my name on it. Wherever they are may they be at peace.
" Being different is not something you embrace in your life as a badge of honor. You simply play the cards that fate has dealt to you. I've also learned the hard way that any hand dealt to you can be a winner. It all depends on how you choose to perceive the outcome." - Anonymous
Thanks for remembering!
so sad, I remember seeing so many of them over the last 35 years
Simply numbing. All of these young, beautiful men struck down in the prime of their lives. To all my "brothers" out there, PLAY IT SAFE. You life is simply not worth risking for basically minutes of pleasure. If you're having thoughts of suicide, please call someone--anyone. God bless you all; RIP.
Well done Joseph .. very sad.
I moved to San Francisco in 1988 with the unrealistic expectation of a constant party. Instead, half of gay men were HIV +. I ended up taking a job in hospice and cared for many men with AIDS. It was depressing. Still, I was able to provide some comfort in their final days.
So many beautiful people it is sobering to see how many took their own lives one way or another RIP
Damn this is depressing
That is what I was thinking.
Very well done...a very touching tribute.
great tribute and very informative but what is that music on the soundtrack ?
Every single man with a sad in their eyes. I wish that they had found the God mercy before die
I absolutely love the music, It's fitting for a fitting tribute to those men who lost their lives and I bet they didn't enjoy a single moment of it. I support Joseph Sciambra, porn stars are dying needlessly and it needs to stop!
I strongly agree!
So many gone. What is the beautiful music playing throughout? Very moving.
its obvious the guys who committed suicide became so depressed, realizing the life they led, no hope, no future, and used up..very tragic...some are probably guys who came out LA or SF looking for a "good" life and got hooked into this vile industry and rugs..I imagine some might have had hiv and didn't want to die that way and maybe some were now so ashamed and embarrassed they couldn't face their families again
This video makes me sad - but anyhow many thanks to Joseph Sciambra to show us the cruelty of (porn) life. Does anybody know, if David Ashfield and Chad Douglas are still alive or what's their business today?
When I was in College I Bartended at a Cruise Bar in Chicago where they would show porn non-stop , I remember more then 1/2 these faces pisses me off to no end that a lot of young Gays seem to think Aids is just a STD if they had been around in the mid 80's they wouldn't think that , out of the 30 or more employees I worked with I know of only one other that didn't die of HIV and he was my Partner. Sad.
sad eyes reveals sad lifes.The evil subtly took their lives
Thanks Joseph. For don't forget, never; because is the most important thing in the life.
It is so sad to see so many beautiful faces, gone forever.
Knew Arpad Miklos (Peter Kozma) well. A dear friend and roommate upon his arrival in New York. Divine sense of humor, loved the outdoors and enjoyed world travel. Miss him everyday.
Do you know why he committed suicide?
Great tribute my only question is, where are the black and latino men in this memorial? surely they deserve to be in this as well.
When I compiled this list, I did not discriminate against anyone because of ethnicity or for any other reason. The sad truth is that we simply do not know who or how many have died because of their involvement in the porn industry; most were just disregarded after their time of usefulness came to an end; they could have simply just faded away - unnoticed.
Joseph Sciambra , I'll try to stop watching p*** men., I promise
Then maybe you should create that memorial...
This video is a powerful reminder of the human cost associated with the adult film industry. Gay or straight, pornography does a lot of damage to the men and women whose bodies and souls sustain the billion dollar industry. One wonders if there isn't a better way to protect the people who become involved in making pornographic films.
Very nice memorial. Did I miss Chad Douglas ?
And now a whole new generation in East Europe :(
The men who committed suicide, I theorize, are reaching out for help, but no one was there. I hope there is a way to reach them before it is too late. I also hope that through this site, a ministry can be established.
R.I.P. MY BROTHERS !!!! LUV YOU ALL!!!
The guy at @6:45 Wade Nichols, wasn't he a soap opera star too? I could have sworn I've seen him on a soap opera back in the late 70's/early 80s, when I was very young either "The Edge Of Night?" or was it "Guiding Light?" can't remember.
Wade Nichols was on the Edge of Night but under the name Dennis Parker he played the Chief of Police I can't remember what his name on the show was., He only did a few Gay Porn's but did a large number of straight porns until appearing on EON he also released a few singles put out by Casablanca records the same lable as the Village People.
I found this video by accident a few weeks ago but did not watch it. Its been haunting me and today I watched the whole thing. I had to go back and confirm some in the video, I used to correspond with Mike Henson when I was in college in the 80's.
So sad I have my eyes full of tears!
Seems like a very sad, very lonely and very unhappy life and lifestyle
I am agree with you, is very sad and lonely life.... also the music makes worst.....I hope people find love.......love is the answer......
It seems that way
Does it though? Were they sad before HIV came along? We don't know their lives. Loneliness can be driven from others and societies rejections
May they all R.I.P
O ano é 2019!!!...muitos destes atores falecidos partiram à muitos anos!....peço em nome de JESUS CRISTO que todos tenham alcançado à paz no Reino dos Céus!
Amém....
Saudades eternas!
✝
The music was beautiful. What is it?
I last bought porn since the early 2000s when I realized most of my 'heroes' were gone or sick. True, I knew of three local porn 'stars' who evhoed the sentiment that porn wasn't glamorious as portrayed. All kept their 'careers' short from.whst I knew then. So much undafe sex in the industry in the 80-early 90s. Testing wasnt required. Many had emotional and substance abuse issues prior to entry and the industry didn't help the situations. May the all RIP.
I was interested in how much premature death there was amongst pornography workers, specifically suicide compared to the general population. My focus, being non-gay myself, was the relationship between pornand its females workers. I was disheartened to see the carnage there and wondered why the CDC -P does not declare that the professioon is a serious health hazard to its participants. As I went from one memorial to another, this video showed up in the sidebar. I was curious about what was contributing to the early demise of gay male porn workers. I have no interest in gay porn so I have bo knowledge of these workers; however, after only a couple of minutes in to the video, the recurrent theme is HIV related deaths. This is truly a crisis and my heart bleeds on one hand and is disturbed, almost angry, on the other. How can one see the devastation in such a concentrated group and not declare this a national crisis. True love for humanity will warn against the root of the cause of these premature deaths. The elephant in the room is not necessarily the porn industry or the lack of safe sex, but that there is something inherently unsafe about the type of sex that these sex workers/actors participated in. It would be like addressing the earlier lead poisoning epidemic in certain poor children populations as one of the children just not ingesting lead safely instead of noting that lead is not meant to be ingested, and children should not be exposed to the lead period. Some behaviors are not to be undertaken and the consequences of such can not be eradicated if the participation in such is not first eradicated. If the lgbt truly cared, as I do and as do many others who are commenting here on this video, then that should be the message. If not hepatitis, syphilis or HIV, then something else will crop up at a later date to remind us that there is no safe way to ingest lead (metaphorically speaking). The non-gay premature deaths seem to pale in the wake of the gay premature deaths. The CDC-P should be on every gay porn film shooting site with a bullhorn in hand. This is a tragedy. Just sayin'.
Is there a correlation between being in porn and their death! Because the majority of them died from drug overdose and suicide.
kyle Carrington killed himself by discovering that he had AIDS HIV and killed by shot in the head on August 15, 1989 in havai in honolulu to 34 years. steve fox had AIDS and depression killed himself with shot in the head in 1997 at age 31. and also Mike Henson was different he already had AIDS and was killed in the heroines drugs. their worlds fell apart they were lost and the short life of sin's salary is death. r.i.p.
Thank you for sharing.
My dear friend Mike who died with AIDS once said to me that he had "Lived fast, died young, and left a beautiful corpse "! And he was right! I miss him every day!
hi, thanks for the video... how come most of them (other than Aids) died of heart failure or suicide? strange!!
9:53pm. I am now 73 and I remember ALL THESE MEN. As I cry bitter sweet tears of remembrance. I have survivor guilt any of them could have been me. I too have HIV but have been testing undetectable for 10+ yrs on meds! This fine tribute makes me ask why me? I spent 37yrs as a Critical Care Nurse. The 1st death 1984was a best friend who said to me “You have to be a nurse look how they are treating us”. I somedays wish I had NOT SURVIVED!
These boys are so beautiful. May their souls rest in peace now.
Joseph, in answer to your question of which films did I direct. There were approximately 100 over the years, among them THE IDOL, CATCHING UP, EROTIKUS, DUST UNTO DUST, SONS OF SATAN, THE GROUPIE, and so many many more…too many to list. But many of them have been reviewed and written about in numerous magazines from back then, namely MANDATE and IN TOUCH, MANSHOTS, SKIN, STALLION, DRUMMER and even VARIETY reviewed CATCHING UP.
It's unbelievable how many died of HIV in the 2000s. There were more treatment options by then. So heartbreaking all of the overdoses and suicides.
Yes, I did. I met many of them, but I knew Andy Mantegna well...and (less so) Joey Stefano and Scott O'Hara.
Gods on Earth. That's why I'm single. There are not men like these anymore...
Thanks Joseph.
Lost a whole generation. I used to remember a friend of mine saying ( who has since passed) be careful you don't end up on the quilt.
Thank you for posting a memorial fr these me. Difficult to watch, as it opened a floodgate of personal losses. I was one of the fortunate does that somehow escaped this fate.
Love the music from "The Band Played On" beautiful!
Omg!!! I didn't realize how many of them have passed on...I feel sad now:(
well done...very sad and tragic
I wonder if there is any relation between the heart failure related deaths to the isobutyl nitrites that's in the "poppers"
Pray a Rosary for the soul of each one of these boys.
May they Rest in Peace. God bless
And I´m still here 35 years living with hiv! May God have mercy upon those who die.🙏🙏🙏
Descansem em paz!!!.....❤
These were all somebodies little boy. It is hard to look in their eyes and wonder where they were at in their lives when they hit the fork in the road and made the wrong choice. My guess is many of them had that choice made FOR them as children. Very sad but well done. Most likely the only respectful acknowledgement they have or ever will have.
All lost souls whom found only death. So sad and I noticed not one of the models where smiling also all of their eyes where lifeless. So harrowing to see.
I noticed the same thing about the eyes on many of them. Lifeless and sad. It makes me wonder what kind of sad stories are behind them.