Notice he fully accepts that he has to bring resources to the table to get his “type.” Don’t fall for the “gold digger” criticism ladies. These men know and fully accept that they have to be providers in relationships. If he rejects the concept it’s because he doesn’t view you as worthy/ valuable.
This tweet made me a more unapologetic "gold digger* like never before. There is literally nothing anybody can say to make me change my mind. He will not have any access to me unless he's getting paid. If I have to "die alone" so fcking be it💅💅😂lol I turn 20 today 🥳🥳❤️
Mike Epps was never funny to me and when I heard his "jokes" about his baby momma and daughter, who are beautiful and people laugh. Its sad, but better to know how they really feel
It’s the audacity of it all. They’re literally laughing in our faces everyday and there are still bw who are oblivious. It’s sad that they still go so hard for these men collectively
Stop treating your boyfriend as your husband. You have no legal or moral obligations to help your boyfriend reach his potential. Don’t give (loan) money for gas, car fare, lunch, clothes, phone bill, etc to men.
I was having a convo with a Middle Eastern girl a few years ago (we’re both in our 20’s). She had an arranged marriage and she ended up marrying a doctor. I’m married to an older white man who has money and is a great provider! She was telling me that men have to be providers in her culture and talking about money! I asked her “what about the men who have no money”? She looked me DEAD in my face and said, “What about them”? It was at that moment that I knew that we (BW) were being played! 🤦🏾♀️
@Ness Ness That's so sad and embarrasing! I wish that the men would STOP seeing themselves as victims and compete with other men! The women are forced to "be strong' b/c we know that the men aren't!
The “come-up” woman is usually highly insecure, hence the ability for a man to take advantage. That’s why high self-esteem and self-image is important (especially for DS women).💪🏾🌸
You hit the nail on the head, a lot of ppl (unfortunately including many black ppl) who enjoy exploiting DSBW & girls & they enjoy the one sided loyalty that too many black females provide because they don't have the best self esteem, are infact deathly afraid of said BW (especially DSBW) getting any self esteem because when you feel better about yourself, you know better & subsequently, you, do better but you gotta know you're worthy of better 1st. A lot of DSBW don't even believe they're truly worthy of having a happy, healthy committed relationship & when you see the relationship choices of a lot of these sisters it shows I was like that
Those are the pick me women aka mam- mie-s! There's CLEARLY a distinction between the levels up bw, regardless of skin tone, who knows her worth, and the pick me! The PICKme normally live in blackistan raising little blackastanians! Dont be a mother to blackastanians, ladies!!!!
We all have low self-esteem and insecurities so we have to go deeper than that. Some of the best women have fallen victim to this. Look at Mary J. Look at Wendy. None of us is exempt because they move the goalposts. We need to start paying closer attention to the setup. How are they able to weasel their way into our lives in the first place? There is a pattern of behavior, on the part of men looking for a come-up, that we should be paying attention to and teaching our daughter. An ex told me, and I'll never forget this, that men, in adult relationships, are actually little boys who were able to get over on their mothers. Now, if you can remember that, you'll put your foot down and say "NO." And you'll do this with your sons so that you're sending them out into the world with the understanding that women can say "NO," and mean it.
I’ve recently opened up my dating pool outside of black men and I was shocked that I had so many options. I even had a discussion with my friend about how I thought black women were so undesirable to non-black men due to the way people talk about us on the internet, but my gosh, the difference in the way I’ve been treated, and how good these people have made me feel, made me realise that I’ve always deserved better. Girls expand your dating pool!
Men who talk badly about us in the internet are usually miserable broke ugly losers 9.7/10. High value men with options don’t spend their free time hating on women.
@@gailainsley6939 honestly when someone is constantly telling you that you're undesirable you start to internalise it. And even when i got attention outside from non-black men, I rationalised it as them being "nice/polite" or I'd just think "there's no way they're interested in *me*". Hope that clears it up for u x
@@praiziegirl4618 who told you you were undesirable? It's so sad you ever thought that way. I'm glad you don't. I've have never had a problem with attracting non bm. Most men like women if they are attractive no matter what their race is. Just be the best you! ☺️
My ex texted me last night asking me to come over and bring him food . The old unhealed Liz would have just been so happy to see him that I would have picked up the food and ran to him. But when he texted me, I could care less. I told him I felt insulted that he even thought that after not talking for some time, that I would spend money on him and drop what I was doin for him . I then blocked him. You can’t make these men see your worth. They either want you or they don’t. I can bet that if he had a chance with his dream girl, he would bring HER dinner .
Yesss, please do! Men from different races are definitely interested. In my experience I didn’t know they were flirting, Bc it was soo different from BM. I really did believe they didn’t like BW. So when I learned they (non black men) flirted differently, I was shocked at the amount of non black men that did like me n I had no idea. 🤦🏽♀️ I was too busy waiting for Tyrone n Jamal to say “Yurrr” or “Hey ma” when they approached me! 🙄🙄🚮
Don’t ever give a man money. Period. Majority of men lose interest in a woman when we begin to let them walk all over us. When a man doesn’t settle, he ends up with the woman who literally is different from the rest by holding him accountable and not being afraid to walk away when he starts acting crazy.
Its true..it happened to me. Wasted my youth helping to build him up thinking that we would come up together. Nope. Didnt happen like that..used and tossed away like trash once he was established. He treated me as if I never existed and I was nothing but loving and loyal to him..and we were together for years. Ladies make smart choices, invest in yourself and guard your heart💕
@@UnknownUnknown-yl1lt yep that proves men do not like having to rely on woman to bring up his status. It makes him feel less of a man when a woman has to help him get there instead doing it on his own. It's best for men to build and become a man by himself.
Getting older is realizing that our black mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, and cousins have settled with BM and are loyal to them but has got nothing in return. The majority of women in my family are college educated and very successful but their partners are low caliber BM. If I’ve learned anything from them, it is to not settle just to solidify my position with a BM. I’m 23 so I’m at the age where the women in my family are always asking me what guy am I dating, but they aren’t understanding that I am taking my time because I don’t want to be subjected to being a baby mama or a partner to a man who has no interest in being a provider, marriage, or creating wealth.
If this ain't the truth. To put into context, everyone in my family is East African. My parents and 2 siblings(one older and one younger) are Ugandan, my stepmother and her daughter are Ugandan-Rwandese, and my stepdad is from Burundi. My mother setttled for my abusive father and they divorced when i turned 8-11. ( i can't really remember the year , but it was around 2012-2014). Now I'm 17 and I hate my stepfather, he drinks constatly and has my mother waiting on him beck and call. He doesn't deserve her and is ungrateful. He gives my Sigmund Frued vibes (y'know the man looking for a woman that will care for him like a mother). And I know he prefers my younger brother over me, he makes it obvious but I don’t care I hate him anyways. Yet, my mother constantly warns me about not settling for an ain't shit man, and to focus on myself. I think she either subconcously or unconsiously regrets being in the situation. I don't know. But I'm turing 18 in a few months so I'll have that conversation with her soon. I hate seeing her get hurt. As well as a conversation with my father. I remember him beating her in front of me and my older brother when we were 4. According to her, he's done it before. And I'm not surprised. He's succesfully gaslit me into being on his side before, during, and after their divorce. And because of that, I've said some not so nice things to my mother. I apologized to her and she knows what he did, but I still feel so broken up about it. This confirms my suspisicion of him being a narcissist. He needs to be held accountable for the physical, emotional, and mental abuse he’s subjected me, my mother, and siblings to. My father has a new woman. Who is lighter than my mother which is…I’ll just say odd. But she is and incredibly sweet and kind woman who isn’t afraid to tell him if he is wrong. I’ve only known her and her daughter for a few years but I consider them family. If my father does anything to hurt her, I’d defend her as if she was my own mother. It’s just a damn shame that the women of my mother’s and stepmother’s generation never had the societal reform and guidance that us young BW/BG’s have today. Albeit not much, but reform starts somewhere. Sorry for ranting, it’s just that your comment reminded me that things in my life are not ok. It’s not my job to fix it, seeing as they are the adults in the situation. But that’s doesn’t mean I have to stay silent anymore. I’ve been slowly trying to open my mothers eyes and she’s starting to listen. Hopefully things will be different one day. Thank you for commenting this revelation. 🙏🏾 Edit: Spelling Corrections
I BEEN divested and next year will be 15 years I've been married to my husband (He was born/raised in Germany) whose a Dentist. We've been together for 17 years and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made! No drama, no stress, and he loves me unconditionally. Due to his support throughout the years, I'm now a practicing Dentist myself!
@@earlem9771 fuck you, I'm talking from experience. My father is German and he married my black South African mother, I've been to Germany many times and even went to a German school in South Africa. I and my many black friends and classmates have never experienced racism, sure there are racist people but saying MOST Germans is really a stretch
Yhuup, The Mere Fact He's Taking And Just Not Giving Where He Obviously Has To Give As You're Giving... He Gone Leave You, The Tool Not Needed When The Part Is Fixed In Fixed🧏🏿♀️.
I remembered a guy telling me When he gets his "engineering degree" he MAY NOT continue the relationship I checked out IMMEDIATELY. And to this day he hasn't gotten his degree.
You constantly see examples of these men saying that if a woman won't deal with you when the man is broke, then she don't deserve to share in your success (a la the ride or die chick). But they will turn around to dump said woman for their preference, who would never deal with them before their success/money. Make it make sense.
I think this applies mainly to black men. Because I've seen many non-black men who were still married to the women they were at the bottom with or in "struggle love" with
I'm not surprised. Ladies, you have to understand men like women that aren't easily obtainable. Since the beginning of time women serve as prizes to men. The whole reason men are driven to get up everyday, go to work, have successful careers, be productive in society and make a lot of money is so that they can afford to impress women. Men see other men's wives/ girlfriends as a symbol of his success, it gives him respect and status to other men. If a man is with a woman he got while being broke, she serves as a reminder of his lack of work....thus a lack of his manhood. Men associate working & success with their manhood & masculinity. This why a lot of men, sadly, don't appreciate their wives and girlfriends.Because the vast majority of the time, men are with women that they don't deeply desire and he is waiting for his dream girl. They LOVE to provide for and spoil women. If a man can't do that for you, he's unhappy in the relationship. Be smart.
I'm young and haven't started dating yet but I feel a bit more prepared because of your videos Chrissie. This little community here is so good for young black women to evade the more avoidable pitfalls that often befall women
Learn it and learn it well honey. Don’t make the mistakes that some of us older girls did. Know your value and never settle or take care of a grown man. You a deserve quality mate and as long as you are smart about dating you will find the right one when you are ready.
With Kevin Hart, I feel like his actions are beginning to backfire. Torrei’s eldest daughter, Heaven is now a teenager and has called out her father for the jokes he made about her mother. She’s very articulate so I bet the guilt is beginning to eat at him, judging by his response to his daughter
@@mochamommyATX shows how he regards his eldest compared to his younger daughter (by eniko). I’m glad Heaven Hart has grown into a very aware and articulate young lady to recognise what her father (and ppl like him) think and call them out
I stopped listening to Kevin Hart. When he was making jokes about his ex-wife, I was thinking (1) You're kids are going to hear this. (2) This isn't as funny as you think it is. He isn't funny making disparaging jokes about his family like a fool. And he cheated on Eniko, his "preference".
Kevin Hart is 🗑🚮 Typical self hating DSBM who degrades DSBW. He didn’t think his disgusting comments about his own daughter & her mother would backfire on him someday?
Kevin Hart’s colorist backfired. In one of Chrissie’s older videos, on thumbnail is a picture of him with a “ preference,” and their two kids. The kids he had with the preference are not “exotic” ambiguous kids. They look like DS monoracial everyday black boy and girl that you would see walking to school in a neighborhood heavily populated by black ppl. These kids with this “preference” are as monoracial-presenting as the kids he had with Torrie (who is gorgeous, btw). He was calling the kids “biracial,” but they are monoracially black presenting looking like they could have two indigenous African parents! I’m not putting down KH kids. This is a call out to his colorism and his karma producing a pair Blk kids with his preference!
I saw "The Talk" where Vivica Fox divorced her man ( of 4 years) because he could never get his act together. She got tired of supporting his "potential". When the group talked about it, the ONLY person who had a problem with it was a Black man. She was with her ex 4 years, and the BM still had a problem with why she left. Gives you something to think about.
@@sheritownsend7525 but why even talk about that around a black man when you as a black woman already know how they fell about us? Can't stand when adult black women go on tv explaining their life choices to a disrespectful black man
@Leslie Maylor yes, I get so tired of black women who do that and then they always say something stupid and act like they can speak for all black women around the world. It's just messy
This guy is South African and so am I. I saw this tweet and ignored it. South African women tried to "ratio" him by shaming him in the quotes instead of LISTENING. I was just glad he was telling the truth because South African men are veryyy colourist. They leave dsbw for lsbw as soon as they make a little bit of money. But theres always a recurring theme on SA twitter about how black women that WM date are usually "homeless looking" aka thin, natural haired darkskin women. The lightskin women always spearhead that topic together with their kAnGz. I'm glad this country is getting exposed coz i'm sick of people thinking this is only an American issue. SA men would move exactly like AA men if they were in a majority non-black country.
South Africa is just like America because of the apartheid and the white folks living there . Wherever whites are non whites have problems accepting themselves.
@@azania1639 interesting... Makes sense because most of them will choose lsbw because of a lack of access to non-black women. And a lot of them like to act like they're pro-black so they wouldn't date outside the race, but go ahead and pick the lightest black girl they can find😂
It really isn't. It's the redpillers who always think women are undesirable and gonna be miserable past 30. Real value men don't care about those things. Only shows how redpillers are basically the ones actually insecure on being single and projecting it to women Women have dealt with being single for generations. We got labeled from spinsters to 'crazy' cat lady, it's nothing new or 'miserable' for us. They pick on us bc they think they're such a 'prize' to be with
Another tip: We need to quit running our mouths about past relationships and how that person treated us negatively, especially abusive situations. When you tell people someone hurt you or hit you, they don't sympathize truly. They look for an opportunity to see if they can do the same. "You let that other man do you like that. Why not me?" They don't say these words, but it is like they think that if another man put a baby in you, then so can I. It's all about hooking you to secure their claim to your life. Then they can ceremonially and literally come back around and pee on your tree any time they want. Silence is key. Don't utter all your mind. Great video.
Yup! That’s why I do the EXACT opposite. I even tell them I was very spoiled growing up by my parents and got everything I wanted. And while my dad was in and out of my life growing up (I have a good relationship with him now), I still say I was daddy’s little princess (which isn’t a lie, he would give me the world if he could). It was a GAME CHANGER! Because now he has to compete with your past dates and men in your life to prove to you that he is better! It works 100% of the time!
Yess 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾, My Aquarian behind learned to lie young, and say nothing but good things or that they passed away. Das it! Even when talking about my father. I’ll speak as if he was a god. But in fact was Kang of the dusties. 🤣 -No mutant ☝🏾 is going to use anything against me! Women need to learn to either omit or lie.
@@Theresmore2lifethanthis I, personally, think she means that when you’re dating, date who you really want and never settle. If it means investing in yourself physically, mentally, psychologically etc to get a quality man suitable for you, then you should do that…
Or they are controlling and manipulative. I do not advise young women in their 20's and less to date older men. But if you're in your 30's already established then it's ok because older men who want to date you know that they won't be able to manipulate a women in her 30's the same.
I hate how so many pick me’s will use the possibility of him trolling to deflect from the fact that most black men think like this. They’ll use every excuse in the world to avoid the truth it’s so sad.
I think he was dead ass serious, and warning his girlfriend. Hope she ran and doesnt look back and any blk woman who thinks of dating him sees his tweets and runs
And other races of men don’t think like this? White men are practically known for this. It’s not a race thing but whatever you guys claim everyone else is delusional when the delusion is also showing on you
Same but avoid men who think they can be reformed hoes and marry you. I have a friend who is dating a guy who fetishizes virgins for marriage but was a former fboy. You don't want those soul ties after protecting your spirit all this time. GL.
@@sonderexpeditions really? That’s so crazy smh! i just pray that God protects me and sends me the right man. I know he won’t be perfect but he will be just for me. I most definitely will be extra careful. Thank you!
All I can think about is Kevin Hart's 1st wife, because this fits their situation to a tee. But all he's doing is exposing the truth about how many men feel, think and do. That's why women need to do what's best for them because a man, always will.
Tbh I only feel like progressive/liberal men are like this. More Conservative/independent men aren’t like this and have more of a traditional “it’s okay and even good to be a provider” mindset and I find them sweeter and less radical and hateful of traditional values that support women
I’m younger, so this is my assessment of my generation. The modern feminist movement has made many young men act like this, post it on social media, and have this mentality. Most young men are liberal 🤷🏾♀️
This is why I've always been unapologetic about everything I want in my life. Well, this and the fact that my mom create a spoiled brat. 🤷🏾♀️😌 Thanx, Ma.
You are fortunate ..I'm glad you didn't have to learn the hard way like me. I was taught to be loyal and that "money isnt everything " when it comes to men. Well I went through everything Chrissie spoke about in this video. Used and tossed away like trash when he got on his feet. It's not a joke..this really is the hard truth. Make smart choices ladies.
You're lucky. The problem with my ma and her MA is that they are unfortunately still dealing with the times where a woman's life is based on marriage and having kids....sigh....
For those of us who are young and in relationships with young upwardly mobile men, I'd say make sure you're not giving him money and definitely don't go paying any of his bills. Men need to be able to establish and take care of themselves without your financial help for the sake of their masculinity and ego anyway. If you have a good traditionally masculine man, your femininity and encouragement is enough.
And definitely don't play house with these men either. Let him establish himself as you are doing the same and when he puts that ring on your finger and a date has been set than I would say give it a go.
I applaud and envy the young bg/bw of this generation. You ladies are being fed gold. Have I had this type of knowledge even 10 years ago, I would be in a much different place. Enjoy your hypergamy, enjoy your youth and your freedom
As a black woman, with a lot of black female friends, Im shocked how many of them called me “crazy” or said I’ll never find a man, because I dont want to deal with dusties and men who arent financially stable. I thought we all wanted better. I guess not🤦🏽♀️
Listen 👂 some don’t but we do. I’m with you. I’m realizing now my ex should be more friends business. Idk about romantically I don’t think he can or want so we do have to move accordingly
Wow! I just looked it up. Nicole Avant is not just any BW she is definitely high quality with a bougie background and I love it! She definitely placed herself in the line of sight of her high value husband and married him at age 40-41. I can definitely learn from her example.
The part that really got me was him saying this leads to violence and a lot of these guys agreeing with it. With the black femicide going on and the KS mentality it's very scary! 😨
Yes!!! That last comment tells us that there’s something off with him. He will likely be unsuccessful in finding a come up woman, she would see the red flags hopefully.
From what I've noticed it's usually the broke or rejected men that get mad at Black women who look for financially stabled men. The men with money understand to a point that relationships are similar to a business transaction. You get what ya pay for😉
Men don’t mind gold diggers when it’s the women they want. When they complain about gold diggers it’s for the women they don’t see as worth spending money on.
They're lairs. They just want to convince women to sleep with them when they're broke, while simultaneously chasing after the gold diggers that are hard to get. Men don't want women to love them for them, they want women to love them for what they do.
It’s fake outage from them. I’ve really realized men like to just hear themselves talk. They like to appear smart and like to appear they have more substances than they actually have. They like to feel more important than they are. I’ve realized most things men say, unfortunately you have to take most of what they say, with a grain of salt. And I mean no matter the topic, you have to take what they say with a grain of salt.
Don’t date older BM either. I was 25 tried to date a 42 years old BM and he was just as dusty as the 32 year old before that. It’s better to not date them at all.
So very true! I experienced this when I was seeing an educated, job having brotha in his late 30s/ early 40s. I was in my mid 20s and I got rid of him. I'm so glad I didn't get serious or pregnant by him.
I’ve noticed that as well… they tend to be useless and even very cheap even in older age . The good thing with dating out is that you typically don’t have to go super old to get a man with some decent money. Many times these men have it together in the 28-33 age category.
@@xlovex4740 The older guy I was dating didn’t mind spending money but he definitely showed his true colors and turned out to be cheap as hell. Clearly he was pretending to be someone else when I first met him. His true colors definitely came shining through 🤦🏾♀️
I'm with you whole heartedly about looking the part. I was surprised about dropping some weight and gaining some confidence went a long way for me. A little peap in your step is noticeable.
The come up woman really convinced herself that she’ll be rewarded for the sticking around, building and struggling with a man. He’ll always move on to the woman he couldn’t get when he was broke and dusty. He’ll move on to the woman that wouldn’t settle for him. Grown women are always talking about we can build together while she already has everything... so basically she’s building him and won’t get anything in return.
I get what ur saying but not all guys like that I know plenty of couples who struggled together and still stuck by each other when they got where they wanted to be in life and are married...some men are just trash and will use u and most of the time we women know this yet we stick with them thinking that we will change them which only backfires if we can only be honest with with ourselves we can avoid a lot of heartbreak
A man seeking a woman’s companionship, when he is struggling, is just plain wicked. He needs to struggle by himself! It will cause him to become a stronger man, and allow you the woman, to maintain your sanity and rest in your femininity💅🏾.
Noneyah The difference, according to my uncle, is a woman can go longer than a man without intimacy. A determined woman will sacrifice and go it alone, whereas a man will not.
I have always said “why would I aspire to be in a relationship when I have to work on myself. Mentally and physically?” I 100% agree that it is essential to be comfortable with being single, to create boundaries and even discern/ properly vetting a man
I think we need to drop the “why be in a relationship when i gotta work on myself” mentality cause everyones always working on themselves, there is such thing as being unfit for a relationship but not everyones going to be 100 percent secure with themselves. You need others help to grow, cant cut that communication off.
That’s why Chrissie is saying dating with a light heart, dating multiple men at the same time because when we have options we don’t feel desperate and will not be in a hurry. We can work on ourselves and still have fun dating. Many men will try to woo us by taking us to nice places.
Yea. Not about to wait on a man to become successful because he's a blk man. A lot of bw need to jump off the BBC train. I've seen my friends pass up great opportunities because the man wasn't blk🙄🤦
@@stopthelightskinguilt.3775 so true. I notice some BW who chase BM are in love with their "potential" of "what he could be". When he gets there, he is leaving asap. It's sad.
All men KNOW that the more money and status they have, the more women will be interested in them and submissive to their leadership. Loser men don’t want to admit this or acknowledge reality because they want to lower women’s self esteem and standards so they can take a short cut to having a relationship. Never settle and make sure you take good care of yourself
Observe,don't argue,don't talk out of anger, observe and be silent. Am 21 years second last year doing my bachelor of laws,been single for all my life ,I will only give myself to a man who values marriage and family no matter the race. I have seen many broken families and I need my own intact family. I will have to be strategic in that search. No way am I building a man, never, we build families after marriage not during fornication.
I agree with you but you can still date to know how they play games. You’ll be more comfortable then. You don’t have to give your all , just spend time and see how things go. If you feel like you have to give too much you stop seeing him :)
True!! do not offended when men call you a gold digger. They call you that when they mad since they can't make your self-esteem go low enough to become their doormat! ANDDDDD us 'gold diggers' get everything we want in the end of the day btw 😎😎😎
Thank you for this message! Especially about the “ he’s using you to pass time with “… So many woman ignore the fact that they are being used for that . When a man tells me he thinks I’m “cute “, he thinks I’m suppose to fall at his feet for that . Instead I tell them to not settle for a cute woman . Get with someone you think is drop dead gorgeous so you can enjoy looking at her everyday … my standards are so much higher than when I was younger
@_PrettyBrownBrown same. It never works out when you're not his top preference. I see the difference in men who adore and choose bw first. We're treated tremendously better.
These dusties show us who they are all the time but we seem to ignore it and think things will be different. We shouldn't have to learn the hard way all the time.
And They Be Upset You Not "Giving Them A Chance" To Run Through You Too😭😭😭 Like I See The Behaviour And Your Adopting Pattern... Must I Not See Through Your 💩 Too? Must I See To You Doing Me Bad? I Know Better😩🥴.
This stuff makes me physically sick. You really can’t trust anyone these days and we as black women especially have to be so on armoured up at all times to avoid being used, abused and discarded. It’s exhausting having your guard up all the time and disappointing how necessary it is to.
Thank u!! I'm just so discouraged. These men are dodgy and sleezy!!! And maybe one day u'll find that amazing guy but because we are so guarded we will miss out. That's my biggest fear.
That’s why we have to date with a light heart. If the man isn’t making commitment, marriage, or at least fully financially providing for us a priority then we must take everything they do like a grain of salt.
Never get attached to anything or anyone outside of yourself. The ability to detach yourself from people and things that don't serve you or add value to you is the greatest power you can have. Cultivate it.
What you’re proposing is a greatly difficult task for many. In fact, building up walls and dodging emotional connections is seen as a trauma response. A more proper course of action is to be more selective on who you devote emotional energy to, so that you don’t have to detach in the first place. We have emotions, we’re human after all.
@@ShallowExistence how can you get married if you don't form bonds with people? 😂 That doesn't make sense. Detaching from undesirable behaviors or people is one thing, but if one hopes to have healthy relationships in the future, we have to get better at discernment and leaving behind what doesn't serve us, not dropping everything. Also, everything in life is a risk. Few of us make it out without encountering someone we don't like.
I was the come up woman back in college and I learned the hard way when he left as soon as he found a new job and he moved in with the girl he really wanted. I use to give him money, cooked for him, let him stay at his place when he couldn’t afford his, etc. I got NOTHING in return.
I find this so interesting because people try to minimize the effects of colorism by saying we only complain when it comes to who a man dates. Meanwhile, dating and marriage plays a major role in our mental, financial and physical health. Making dsbw aware of how deep colorism runs is extremely important in protecting us.
From experience, you'll never know if a guy truly loves you if he's on the come up. When he is established and wants to have a serious relationship with you, that's really how you'll know. However, realistically many women meet men while these men are yet to fully build themselves up. But it's a risk.
Agreed. A lot of that has to do with immediate environments. Once you’re out of your comfort zone and can accept the level up process then you can be fully engaged. In the beginning you default to what’s familiar because it seems easier, but really you’re just holding yourself back and working harder.
Exactly. There's no way of knowing. All you can do is make decisions based on how you're being treated. If it don't feel right then it isn't right so leave. Usually you will know before things get too serious.
A man will date the placeholder but marry his PREFERENCE / game changer. A man will date a cubic zirconia but marry the rare gem that brought what the other women aren't bringing. Don't prepare a man for another woman. Just because a man allows you in his bedroom, doesn't mean he's allowed in his heart. I repeat, don't prepare a man for another woman.
YES I went to his page and was like EWW!! He's not even attractive 💀 The fact that he's a south African man and they have always been disrespectful towards their women,hence the African proverb money brings out their true character SMH I am not suprised by that tweet! They always been that way sickening ‼️🤦🏽♀️
@@kittykatz4001 👀👀... I saw a meme that stated, "A lot of you men don't like women, you just like how they make your dk feel". It's sad but it's true. Not all men are like this, but there's a loud minority/majority(?) that you can tell from the way they bully women online and treat them in person, (hashtag- mgtow/pump and dump), they really only deal with women for pleasure sexually. I've even heard many say we're only good for sx and babies. And that reminds me of a thought I had about how in the past men had to marry women to get sx. But now it's easier to get sx without marriage, and because of this you see the true nature of many men. I wonder if that's one the reasons women in the past were abused or treated harshly by their spouse. The man really didn't want her, just what's between her legs. But was stuck with her after pumping due to marriage, where divorce was often frowned upon. There are of course devoted men who value women, don't get me wrong, but that loud minority/majority(?) is out there and pretend well, until they get what they want.
Lots of truths here. My only disagree is dating older men. I have a very young face and have attracted older men all my life. Men who don't take, "I'm too young for you" , at 17 and under, as a full stop. I use it as tool to spot pedos. If you're in an older age group and you're hitting on me because you thought I was 19-22, that's a predator.
Omg, girl i honestly couldn't figure out why older men gave me attention and guys my age didn't . It took me a while to figure out that i have a baby face. I've learned to stay away from them now
Thank you 🙏 Chrissie…I met a plain looking Asian woman who told me with glee that her Black doctor 👨🏾⚕️ husband dropped his black girlfriend the moment he became established to date his “type” which was her and she ADMITTED that she had nothing and that he didn’t require as much in terms of accomplishments as he did with his black ex…I’ve learned to not date broke men! They are jealous and filled with self-loathing drama 🎭 listen to this woman and stop 🛑 being the victim of gaslighting
I've just started watching "Insecure" and that has a similar scenario. Issa and Molly can't get their boyfriends to commit to them, but Molly's coworker, a plain looking Asian woman, gets engaged to her black boyfriend within a heartbeat.
Great commentary! So many truths told. Especially about being comfortable being alone. Desperation is NEVER sexy or attractive. Also, looking well cared for does weed out people. While people, especially men, like to diss the so called “stuck up woman”, these women are more likely to get more respect because they let it be known that they are not easy. Like Maya Angelou said, “when a person tell or show you who they are, believe them!”
Just last night my uncle was shaming me for saying I'm not willing to be a come up woman. He said “you should be with a broke man and build him so that you grow together” haha I just laughed and said I'm not about to be left when he gets to his preference “level” To try and shame me he said”you will be a puppet in his eyes.” Meanwhile he always says he likes women with long flowing hair and is always talking about this woman is beautiful she's light skinned and blah blah blah Like nahhhhhh those tactics are out now. I'm done No comeup woman here haha
Your uncle up here telling you how you aint worthy of a good husband either! Man, these men are BELOW bottom. I would have to reduce my talking with uncle.. that’s not positive reinforcement. No offense but I’m saying how I feel to this.
Girl never speak to him again. I can't believe we pumped fists for BLM. I will Not stand with black men. Hope I don't raise a black man like that.. would be so embarrassing and hurtful
That tweet blew up and im glad it did, what an absolutely dumb move to admit that you're using your girlfriend as a place holder not to just to everyone but her too. If it's real, i hope to God his girlfriend saw it at this point. It's kinda annoying hear men complain about hypergamy when they are using women as a come up.
Yes build yourself up. Stay in shape . Black men saying they like thick women is sabotage. Most men of many races prefer women of the correct weight. I refused to be second best to my own man.
@@Las645 Yes but Black men do pretend to prefer big women but ONLY seem to be with the big White ones. Black women stay in shape and venture out. Did you hear of the beautiful Black attorney who was murdered by her dusty man? She should not have been dating down.
@@Las645 The big Butts and big thighs lead to being fat. When I was younger, I had that naturally along with small waist. Now I’m older, I’m heavy and need to loose weight, which I’m working on. Women who are thin with flat butts while young, but get shamed for it now will be envied when they get older, by formerly thick women who got fat as they age! Revenge of the skinny, flat booty sisters!
@@kittykatz4001 So true but funny😜 thick is just another word for fat. Obesity is coming to thick women. All I am saying is women try to stay in shape. High value men do prefer a fit woman. Also build yourself up because at the end of the day you are the only one you can depend on.
@@Las645 you can still be overweight while carrying it in those places. I think the point was don't out of your way to gain weight (or maintain weight) just to be "thick". Bc most other races of men appreciate slim women.
I actually saw this tweet and blocked him. Blocking people is the best thing you can do to avoid the possibility that I'll cross paths online with someone like that. Yuck
I love ya Ms. Chrissie. Regardless of when you post, you never fail to put out the truth. You’ve been helping me so so much in my life and as a young sistah I can tell you that I’m at peace. Much love to ya I can’t wait for the app when it’s time. Do NOT lose faith Ms. Chrissie!🤗💓💕🙏🏾🙏🏾
Girl same I’ve never been in a relationship before or even come close to one and I’m so happy Bc I’m able to learn all this from Chrissie a head of time and now I don’t have a ton of failed relationships I’m grateful to be single and learning
I think a lot of BW don't venture out due to their own insecurities. You can't just keep telling someone something. They have to step outside of their comfort zone to realize it. Many BW still have insecurities and low self esteem. That's why they feel more comfortable with the Ray Rays'. When they defend these BM, they're defending themselves.
@@lisah3460 prove what ? Only black men pump and dump ? Only black men can see you as a starter wife ? Don’t make me defend them just be careful instead of putting Non black men on a pedestal. Open your options but be strategic.
The fact that men do this is evil to me. Why waste someone’s time? Yeah they can’t get what they want but why use somebody else in the mean time? That’s beyond evil to me.
There should be punishment for it. That's what marriages are about, a contract. Otherwise people will just use and abuse, there's no punishment. These are the same guys who will kill their trophy women if they decide to upgrade.
I really love your advice through the video. It’s very valuable to me and helpful. Making so many bw wake up, make better life choices and improve their life circumstances. I can’t tell you how quick I pressed this video when I saw the notification and the title. Your commentaries are rich in value. I always like to hear your perspective. I appreciate your work Chrissie!!! Really do. Thanks for this video and all your videos. Love from your subbie. ☺️
When you give yourself time to be alone, the vision of what you want in life becomes very clear. When you enter the dating field again you are less accepting and willing to settle
I'm half black and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't want to date him because when I met him I was dating a black men and black women tend to not date anyone except black men. Alot of non-black men assume that black women aren't interested in anyone else besides black men. I work with one of my friends who is a dark skinned Black American woman and several of the established software engineers that I also work with have asked me about her and asked me to ask her if she would date an Asian dude. She only likes black men, but honestly alot of black men in her tax bracket don't prefer her phenotypes. It's sad because she's funny af and I think any man could have alot of fun dating her.
@Leslie Maylor I tried setting her up with a really decent, respectful guy that my bf works with. I used to work under him as an intern. I had a huge crush on him. He is a really good dude and he's successful. But he's not black...🤦🏽♀️I wanted to slap her.
I’m currently getting rid of my dusty. He thinks he’s doing something because he just enrolled in a medical assistant program but he literally only did it to get money because he was in the military so he gets money every month to go to school. All he does is smoke, play the PlayStation and shit. He wasn’t even able to give me his half of the rent money this month but idec because I’m moving into a house in a couple months and he’s not coming. I don’t even talk to him anymore I can’t wait to get away from him and never see him again.
We don't usually use men for sex, relationship, things, until a rich man comes along. We usually wait for the right person. That's the difference. Yes, your appearance does matter.
Betty's story is insane! I remember Stephanie Soo talking about her. I don't feel bad for the ex-husband even though she SHOULD NOT have killed him. For herself and her kids. I feel that this happens so much more often to black women, and that because it does, BW are not driven to the lengths that Betty, a WW, was.
This is exactly what I was telling my former friend! She found the first black guy that is “successful” and she moved in, cooking him breakfast, going grocery shopping and giving him sex. They didn’t even go on a date yet,
I gave a dusty the time of day and by the end of the conversation he said “you give me uppity black girl vibes and that makes you less attractive, your not attractive enough to act like that” in past time I would’ve sat and thought on this for some time but knowing my value and my self worth I let it go. Ladies don’t let these men challenge your value.
The women who read that man's posts and took his statements personally need to rethink how they date. I wondered how long (and why) his girlfriend had been pining over a man who doesn't have a "decent job." Sheesh!
17:40 I agree with this 100%. I am currently trying to work on my weight and my overall confidence when it comes to my appearance. It is also very important to be happy on your own while you are still in the process of levelling up. I had to learn this for most of my life now being 25 and still single.
Isn’t this kinda similar to Kanye’s lyrics? Something about “staying with your man until he gets his ways and then he’ll leave your ass for a yt girl” lol
Some people think that "come up" woman applies only in dating relationships but it couldn't be further from the truth. Matter of fact, many wives are in come up relationships, which sometimes last a lifetime of being cheated on with the women these men really wanted but couldn't or can't wife for whatever reason. Just because he wifed you, doesn't mean you were his best or first choice. Men are very pragmatic when it comes to relationships so don't think that you are the only one, most likely you were the one that was too eager to say YES or only one that said YES. Just saying....
I’m going off to a university with a major school of Medicine and Veterinary department in January. Can’t wait to start using some of the tips the hypergamy movement taught me to snatch a good man of my own 😏
Amazing! I'm a junior in college; I wish I could go back to freshman year. I don't have much experience with dating, but the women in my life who take these guys too seriously usually suffer. So I would suggest serial dating (but not sex!), and not being too emotionally invested until you have the ring. And please only marry him AFTER he's established, not when he's upwardly mobile in college or immediately after college. I hope that you will stay safe and will have a successful hypergamous romantic life! I'm so happy seeing more and more black women with this mindset.
@@tiffanyyisrael7989 Facts!! When you have your natural hair you Automatically look like you have higher self esteem. They know they games won't work with you.
I hope his current girlfriend is seeing his comments. He is planning to leave her in advance, such honesty is highly appreciated. If she is smart, she can make a quick exit.
Notice he fully accepts that he has to bring resources to the table to get his “type.” Don’t fall for the “gold digger” criticism ladies. These men know and fully accept that they have to be providers in relationships. If he rejects the concept it’s because he doesn’t view you as worthy/ valuable.
OMG Yes! I hope Chrissie pins this.
Or He Jealous of You And realize You can attract Better!
100% facts!
This tweet made me a more unapologetic "gold digger* like never before. There is literally nothing anybody can say to make me change my mind. He will not have any access to me unless he's getting paid. If I have to "die alone" so fcking be it💅💅😂lol I turn 20 today 🥳🥳❤️
@@stopthelightskinguilt.3775 happy birthday 🎉 you have the right mindset
The fact there are black men who making memes about having a "first" baby mama is just...so ghetto.
Mike Epps was never funny to me and when I heard his "jokes" about his baby momma and daughter, who are beautiful and people laugh. Its sad, but better to know how they really feel
Lol 🤣
@@msfancy9280 Girl Mike Epps isn't funny period. All he gives is cringe😫
Those men have no decent home training and think that mess is cute.
It’s the audacity of it all. They’re literally laughing in our faces everyday and there are still bw who are oblivious. It’s sad that they still go so hard for these men collectively
Stop treating your boyfriend as your husband. You have no legal or moral obligations to help your boyfriend reach his potential. Don’t give (loan) money for gas, car fare, lunch, clothes, phone bill, etc to men.
@Leslie Maylor If your bf call you "wifey" and you are not his legal wife it is not a sign of commitment or a compliment
@@pop8612 this part! I don't like that term wifey and you don't even want to marry me. You'll live with me but not give the paper commitment.
I know someone doing this right now...smh... He doesn't do anything for her.
You don’t even have to be mean about it. “I’m very sorry to hear that you’re struggling, but I trust that you’ll figure it out.” And then they do.
Some of them be like, “we’re practically married😄” criiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnngggggeeee🤣🤣🤣
Baby girl, you’re really roasting yourself right now🤣🤣
I would rather be single and childless than be ANYONE’s come up woman.
Tea!!!
Facts!
Well said. I 100% agree, especially as a woman who has no kids. I'm not wasting my time or womb on any dusty.
Same!!! They will NOT climb on my back to get the the next level, only to be living the high life with the next woman 😡
Amen, me too
I was having a convo with a Middle Eastern girl a few years ago (we’re both in our 20’s). She had an arranged marriage and she ended up marrying a doctor. I’m married to an older white man who has money and is a great provider! She was telling me that men have to be providers in her culture and talking about money! I asked her “what about the men who have no money”? She looked me DEAD in my face and said, “What about them”? It was at that moment that I knew that we (BW) were being played! 🤦🏾♀️
What about them 🤣🤣🤣
Yes I agree, in their culture or religion if a man don't have money or provide financially for his wife, he's not allowed to get married .
@@TatiSaysSo Right! If we had that same attitude, then more men in the community would get it together!
@Leslie Maylor Sad, but true!!
@Ness Ness That's so sad and embarrasing! I wish that the men would STOP seeing themselves as victims and compete with other men! The women are forced to "be strong' b/c we know that the men aren't!
Ladies please be careful. These men really do think like this.
Sure do
YUP!
I personally have heard blk men say when they get some money they were going to get a whyte woman
@@vanderson5226 Right it's nothing new.
Yes..put yourself first. Do not sacrifice anything for these dudes.
All your problems can be solved by not dating them at all
For real. Sad truth.
Period 👏🏾
Right! Never even date him
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
IKTR!
The “come-up” woman is usually highly insecure, hence the ability for a man to take advantage. That’s why high self-esteem and self-image is important (especially for DS women).💪🏾🌸
You hit the nail on the head, a lot of ppl (unfortunately including many black ppl) who enjoy exploiting DSBW & girls & they enjoy the one sided loyalty that too many black females provide because they don't have the best self esteem, are infact deathly afraid of said BW (especially DSBW) getting any self esteem because when you feel better about yourself, you know better & subsequently, you, do better but you gotta know you're worthy of better 1st. A lot of DSBW don't even believe they're truly worthy of having a happy, healthy committed relationship & when you see the relationship choices of a lot of these sisters it shows I was like that
Those are the pick me women aka mam- mie-s! There's CLEARLY a distinction between the levels up bw, regardless of skin tone, who knows her worth, and the pick me! The PICKme normally live in blackistan raising little blackastanians! Dont be a mother to blackastanians, ladies!!!!
I was always told to never be a man's Come Up Woman or his Good Time Gal. One of the best advice I ever received
So true!! Which is why women with low self esteem & a lot of insecurities should not date
We all have low self-esteem and insecurities so we have to go deeper than that. Some of the best women have fallen victim to this. Look at Mary J. Look at Wendy. None of us is exempt because they move the goalposts. We need to start paying closer attention to the setup. How are they able to weasel their way into our lives in the first place? There is a pattern of behavior, on the part of men looking for a come-up, that we should be paying attention to and teaching our daughter. An ex told me, and I'll never forget this, that men, in adult relationships, are actually little boys who were able to get over on their mothers. Now, if you can remember that, you'll put your foot down and say "NO." And you'll do this with your sons so that you're sending them out into the world with the understanding that women can say "NO," and mean it.
I’ve recently opened up my dating pool outside of black men and I was shocked that I had so many options. I even had a discussion with my friend about how I thought black women were so undesirable to non-black men due to the way people talk about us on the internet, but my gosh, the difference in the way I’ve been treated, and how good these people have made me feel, made me realise that I’ve always deserved better. Girls expand your dating pool!
Men who talk badly about us in the internet are usually miserable broke ugly losers 9.7/10. High value men with options don’t spend their free time hating on women.
@@gailainsley6939 honestly when someone is constantly telling you that you're undesirable you start to internalise it. And even when i got attention outside from non-black men, I rationalised it as them being "nice/polite" or I'd just think "there's no way they're interested in *me*". Hope that clears it up for u x
@@praiziegirl4618 who told you you were undesirable? It's so sad you ever thought that way. I'm glad you don't. I've have never had a problem with attracting non bm. Most men like women if they are attractive no matter what their race is. Just be the best you! ☺️
@@gailainsley6939 totally agree with you!
Sis they loveeeee US .
My ex texted me last night asking me to come over and bring him food . The old unhealed Liz would have just been so happy to see him that I would have picked up the food and ran to him. But when he texted me, I could care less. I told him I felt insulted that he even thought that after not talking for some time, that I would spend money on him and drop what I was doin for him . I then blocked him. You can’t make these men see your worth. They either want you or they don’t. I can bet that if he had a chance with his dream girl, he would bring HER dinner .
Jesus. No man could ever approach me like that. They know. Ladies you need to give same vibe too! Shocking
Stay firm girl u're on the right path!
True
You better know your worth...he had his Time....sounds like he wasted Yours
Good for you! Time to celebrate life without him weighing you down🎊😁💐🎉❤️
Thing is... A guy like this thinks his girlfriend couldn't possibly do better. Take yourself out of the dustie class ladies.
Competition
👏
Yeas!!!
Yesss, please do! Men from different races are definitely interested. In my experience I didn’t know they were flirting, Bc it was soo different from BM. I really did believe they didn’t like BW. So when I learned they (non black men) flirted differently, I was shocked at the amount of non black men that did like me n I had no idea. 🤦🏽♀️ I was too busy waiting for Tyrone n Jamal to say “Yurrr” or “Hey ma” when they approached me! 🙄🙄🚮
She can't do better if she with him now
Don’t ever give a man money. Period. Majority of men lose interest in a woman when we begin to let them walk all over us. When a man doesn’t settle, he ends up with the woman who literally is different from the rest by holding him accountable and not being afraid to walk away when he starts acting crazy.
I just did this!!soooo true.
Then why is he asking for money
Boy dating in America is horrible, social media has disrupted the way dating is suppose to work. Everybody should not have such a far reaching voice.
Yhuuup.
Some Men Are Toxic At Heart And Others Are Quite Aware.
This entire part!!!
Learning all this really has shifted tf outta my life 😵💫😵💫😵💫 it’s so hurtful to know the truth 😣
You right it does hurt but it's also freeing. To the know the truth, is freeing.
Remember, the "truth" is not meant to make people feel good. It's meant to bring clarity. What you do with that clarity depends on you🧐
IVY!!! 😍❤😍❤😍❤🌹
Its true..it happened to me. Wasted my youth helping to build him up thinking that we would come up together. Nope. Didnt happen like that..used and tossed away like trash once he was established. He treated me as if I never existed and I was nothing but loving and loyal to him..and we were together for years. Ladies make smart choices, invest in yourself and guard your heart💕
@@UnknownUnknown-yl1lt yep that proves men do not like having to rely on woman to bring up his status. It makes him feel less of a man when a woman has to help him get there instead doing it on his own. It's best for men to build and become a man by himself.
Getting older is realizing that our black mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, and cousins have settled with BM and are loyal to them but has got nothing in return. The majority of women in my family are college educated and very successful but their partners are low caliber BM. If I’ve learned anything from them, it is to not settle just to solidify my position with a BM. I’m 23 so I’m at the age where the women in my family are always asking me what guy am I dating, but they aren’t understanding that I am taking my time because I don’t want to be subjected to being a baby mama or a partner to a man who has no interest in being a provider, marriage, or creating wealth.
If this ain't the truth. To put into context, everyone in my family is East African. My parents and 2 siblings(one older and one younger) are Ugandan, my stepmother and her daughter are Ugandan-Rwandese, and my stepdad is from Burundi.
My mother setttled for my abusive father and they divorced when i turned 8-11. ( i can't really remember the year , but it was around 2012-2014). Now I'm 17 and I hate my stepfather, he drinks constatly and has my mother waiting on him beck and call. He doesn't deserve her and is ungrateful. He gives my Sigmund Frued vibes (y'know the man looking for a woman that will care for him like a mother). And I know he prefers my younger brother over me, he makes it obvious but I don’t care I hate him anyways. Yet, my mother constantly warns me about not settling for an ain't shit man, and to focus on myself. I think she either subconcously or unconsiously regrets being in the situation. I don't know. But I'm turing 18 in a few months so I'll have that conversation with her soon. I hate seeing her get hurt.
As well as a conversation with my father. I remember him beating her in front of me and my older brother when we were 4. According to her, he's done it before. And I'm not surprised. He's succesfully gaslit me into being on his side before, during, and after their divorce. And because of that, I've said some not so nice things to my mother. I apologized to her and she knows what he did, but I still feel so broken up about it. This confirms my suspisicion of him being a narcissist. He needs to be held accountable for the physical, emotional, and mental abuse he’s subjected me, my mother, and siblings to.
My father has a new woman. Who is lighter than my mother which is…I’ll just say odd. But she is and incredibly sweet and kind woman who isn’t afraid to tell him if he is wrong. I’ve only known her and her daughter for a few years but I consider them family. If my father does anything to hurt her, I’d defend her as if she was my own mother.
It’s just a damn shame that the women of my mother’s and stepmother’s generation never had the societal reform and guidance that us young BW/BG’s have today. Albeit not much, but reform starts somewhere.
Sorry for ranting, it’s just that your comment reminded me that things in my life are not ok. It’s not my job to fix it, seeing as they are the adults in the situation. But that’s doesn’t mean I have to stay silent anymore. I’ve been slowly trying to open my mothers eyes and she’s starting to listen. Hopefully things will be different one day. Thank you for commenting this revelation. 🙏🏾
Edit: Spelling Corrections
Better late than make a mistake!
(I tried to rhyme 🤷🏾♀️)
Be the one to break the generational curse. Love ❤ $$$++
@@awkwardletter9533 idk if you’re referring to my comment. But if you are thank you for the encouragement 🙏🏾 have a blessed/good day or night
@@berryb5474 thank you for the kind words 🙏🏾
I BEEN divested and next year will be 15 years I've been married to my husband (He was born/raised in Germany) whose a Dentist. We've been together for 17 years and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made! No drama, no stress, and he loves me unconditionally. Due to his support throughout the years, I'm now a practicing Dentist myself!
Yaas queen we need to hear stories like that
Woaw that's amazing ! 💗
@@earlem9771 that's a fat lie
@@earlem9771 fuck you, I'm talking from experience. My father is German and he married my black South African mother, I've been to Germany many times and even went to a German school in South Africa. I and my many black friends and classmates have never experienced racism, sure there are racist people but saying MOST Germans is really a stretch
@@earlem9771 and your condescending reply is polite?
Also ladies, avoid “building a man”. Especially, if he’s not building you up! If he doesn’t fit the requirements you have, throw him in the trash!
Right ✅.
Preach!!!
Right
Yhuup, The Mere Fact He's Taking And Just Not Giving Where He Obviously Has To Give As You're Giving... He Gone Leave You, The Tool Not Needed When The Part Is Fixed In Fixed🧏🏿♀️.
@A'miyah Little You got that right!!!!!!!!!! Leave them in the dumpster! lol
I remembered a guy telling me
When he gets his "engineering degree" he MAY NOT continue the relationship
I checked out IMMEDIATELY.
And to this day he hasn't gotten his degree.
You did well. He probably needed your help to finish. I’m glad you left him before he had a chance to play you.
When I tell you the end made me die!!!
I’m ctfuuuuuu 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Good girl! 💪🏾👏🏾
Looolllll😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You constantly see examples of these men saying that if a woman won't deal with you when the man is broke, then she don't deserve to share in your success (a la the ride or die chick). But they will turn around to dump said woman for their preference, who would never deal with them before their success/money. Make it make sense.
Okay!!!! 😩
Right! 💯
It's just "gas lighting!" It's to keep you confused and not knowing if you're coming or going!!!
I think this applies mainly to black men. Because I've seen many non-black men who were still married to the women they were at the bottom with or in "struggle love" with
And yet the mammies of this world fall for it and will get angry if they see other women happily married
I'm not surprised. Ladies, you have to understand men like women that aren't easily obtainable. Since the beginning of time women serve as prizes to men. The whole reason men are driven to get up everyday, go to work, have successful careers, be productive in society and make a lot of money is so that they can afford to impress women.
Men see other men's wives/ girlfriends as a symbol of his success, it gives him respect and status to other men. If a man is with a woman he got while being broke, she serves as a reminder of his lack of work....thus a lack of his manhood. Men associate working & success with their manhood & masculinity.
This why a lot of men, sadly, don't appreciate their wives and girlfriends.Because the vast majority of the time, men are with women that they don't deeply desire and he is waiting for his dream girl. They LOVE to provide for and spoil women. If a man can't do that for you, he's unhappy in the relationship. Be smart.
Truth!!!
Best comment
👍👍👍👍👍👍
💯💯💯
What advice do you have for women who don't want to be just a status symbol/trophy wife for their man?
I'm young and haven't started dating yet but I feel a bit more prepared because of your videos Chrissie. This little community here is so good for young black women to evade the more avoidable pitfalls that often befall women
💯❤️🥰 19
Yes Chrissie thank you!!
Me too ! I feel very prepared and I’m glad I came across her channel
Well said, young lady! 👏
Learn it and learn it well honey. Don’t make the mistakes that some of us older girls did. Know your value and never settle or take care of a grown man. You a deserve quality mate and as long as you are smart about dating you will find the right one when you are ready.
With Kevin Hart, I feel like his actions are beginning to backfire. Torrei’s eldest daughter, Heaven is now a teenager and has called out her father for the jokes he made about her mother. She’s very articulate so I bet the guilt is beginning to eat at him, judging by his response to his daughter
@@mochamommyATX shows how he regards his eldest compared to his younger daughter (by eniko). I’m glad Heaven Hart has grown into a very aware and articulate young lady to recognise what her father (and ppl like him) think and call them out
I stopped listening to Kevin Hart. When he was making jokes about his ex-wife, I was thinking (1) You're kids are going to hear this. (2) This isn't as funny as you think it is.
He isn't funny making disparaging jokes about his family like a fool.
And he cheated on Eniko, his "preference".
Kevin Hart is 🗑🚮 Typical self hating DSBM who degrades DSBW. He didn’t think his disgusting comments about his own daughter & her mother would backfire on him someday?
Kevin Hart’s colorist backfired. In one of Chrissie’s older videos, on thumbnail is a picture of him with a “ preference,” and their two kids. The kids he had with the preference are not “exotic” ambiguous kids. They look like DS monoracial everyday black boy and girl that you would see walking to school in a neighborhood heavily populated by black ppl.
These kids with this “preference” are as monoracial-presenting as the kids he had with Torrie (who is gorgeous, btw). He was calling the kids “biracial,” but they are monoracially black presenting looking like they could have two indigenous African parents!
I’m not putting down KH kids. This is a call out to his colorism and his karma producing a pair Blk kids with his preference!
These men always fuck up when they have children with the come up woman. The Children can't disappear and will defend their mother. Rightfully so.
That’s why I require a man to have a career first before I date them you won’t be coming up off of me.
This 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I saw "The Talk" where Vivica Fox divorced her man ( of 4 years) because he could never get his act together. She got tired of supporting his "potential". When the group talked about it, the ONLY person who had a problem with it was a Black man. She was with her ex 4 years, and the BM still had a problem with why she left. Gives you something to think about.
@@sheritownsend7525 of course
@@sheritownsend7525 but why even talk about that around a black man when you as a black woman already know how they fell about us? Can't stand when adult black women go on tv explaining their life choices to a disrespectful black man
@Leslie Maylor yes, I get so tired of black women who do that and then they always say something stupid and act like they can speak for all black women around the world. It's just messy
This guy is South African and so am I. I saw this tweet and ignored it. South African women tried to "ratio" him by shaming him in the quotes instead of LISTENING. I was just glad he was telling the truth because South African men are veryyy colourist. They leave dsbw for lsbw as soon as they make a little bit of money. But theres always a recurring theme on SA twitter about how black women that WM date are usually "homeless looking" aka thin, natural haired darkskin women. The lightskin women always spearhead that topic together with their kAnGz.
I'm glad this country is getting exposed coz i'm sick of people thinking this is only an American issue. SA men would move exactly like AA men if they were in a majority non-black country.
Wow. Thanks for sharing.
As a South African women we shamed for wanting hypergamy. Im no one's fool
South Africa is just like America because of the apartheid and the white folks living there . Wherever whites are non whites have problems accepting themselves.
@@ChrissiesWay my pleasure, Chrissie🤍
@@azania1639 interesting... Makes sense because most of them will choose lsbw because of a lack of access to non-black women. And a lot of them like to act like they're pro-black so they wouldn't date outside the race, but go ahead and pick the lightest black girl they can find😂
Being single isn't a bad thing. Please ladies believe that.
It really isn't. It's the redpillers who always think women are undesirable and gonna be miserable past 30. Real value men don't care about those things. Only shows how redpillers are basically the ones actually insecure on being single and projecting it to women
Women have dealt with being single for generations. We got labeled from spinsters to 'crazy' cat lady, it's nothing new or 'miserable' for us. They pick on us bc they think they're such a 'prize' to be with
Another tip: We need to quit running our mouths about past relationships and how that person treated us negatively, especially abusive situations. When you tell people someone hurt you or hit you, they don't sympathize truly. They look for an opportunity to see if they can do the same. "You let that other man do you like that. Why not me?" They don't say these words, but it is like they think that if another man put a baby in you, then so can I. It's all about hooking you to secure their claim to your life. Then they can ceremonially and literally come back around and pee on your tree any time they want. Silence is key. Don't utter all your mind. Great video.
Yup! That’s why I do the EXACT opposite. I even tell them I was very spoiled growing up by my parents and got everything I wanted. And while my dad was in and out of my life growing up (I have a good relationship with him now), I still say I was daddy’s little princess (which isn’t a lie, he would give me the world if he could). It was a GAME CHANGER! Because now he has to compete with your past dates and men in your life to prove to you that he is better! It works 100% of the time!
@@Trollestiatumblur omg I never thought of it like that! Thanks for the tip
SO TRUE. My mother told me this we have to stop telling to much information also so much information so soon. But great point.
The past is literally the past. Your not lying you are manifesting sis.
Yess 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾, My Aquarian behind learned to lie young, and say nothing but good things or that they passed away. Das it! Even when talking about my father. I’ll speak as if he was a god. But in fact was Kang of the dusties. 🤣
-No mutant ☝🏾 is going to use anything against me! Women need to learn to either omit or lie.
"Stop being a lazy dater."
Ok damn Chrissie, lower your voice please😳
Lol I can’t
what did she mean by this?
@@Theresmore2lifethanthis I, personally, think she means that when you’re dating, date who you really want and never settle. If it means investing in yourself physically, mentally, psychologically etc to get a quality man suitable for you, then you should do that…
@@Theresmore2lifethanthis Not taking the time to vet.
@@mizzmolly7649 this is a great point too…
The biggest drawback with dating many older men is that many of them have predatory, bordering on pedophilic mindsets.
Or they are controlling and manipulative. I do not advise young women in their 20's and less to date older men. But if you're in your 30's already established then it's ok because older men who want to date you know that they won't be able to manipulate a women in her 30's the same.
True
Yep
@@HereDiianas smart I agree
I’m scared to date older because they see me as close enough to 18 which is “barely legal”
I don’t want to help their pedo feelings
I hate how so many pick me’s will use the possibility of him trolling to deflect from the fact that most black men think like this. They’ll use every excuse in the world to avoid the truth it’s so sad.
Truth!
I think he was dead ass serious, and warning his girlfriend. Hope she ran and doesnt look back and any blk woman who thinks of dating him sees his tweets and runs
And other races of men don’t think like this? White men are practically known for this. It’s not a race thing but whatever you guys claim everyone else is delusional when the delusion is also showing on you
Jokes are really the truth disguised as humor. I always take jokes seriously.
Mammies gonna mammie
This is why I chose to be single and focus on myself. The reason why I’m keeping myself until marriage.
Same but avoid men who think they can be reformed hoes and marry you. I have a friend who is dating a guy who fetishizes virgins for marriage but was a former fboy. You don't want those soul ties after protecting your spirit all this time. GL.
@@sonderexpeditions really? That’s so crazy smh! i just pray that God protects me and sends me the right man. I know he won’t be perfect but he will be just for me. I most definitely will be extra careful. Thank you!
This is sad! That’s why we need to have options. I’m dating 2 people. May the best man win.
We love to see it!
🥰🥰
@Stephanie O. I just chortled!🤣 May the best man win, indeed!
Oh yes 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Right I’m dating 2 men and have been for a while. I will continue to date multiple men until “the best man wins” no shame
All I can think about is Kevin Hart's 1st wife, because this fits their situation to a tee. But all he's doing is exposing the truth about how many men feel, think and do. That's why women need to do what's best for them because a man, always will.
Women need to learn from his example.
I agree and the irony with Kevin Hart was he even "slipped up with a so called hooker" on his come up woman!!
1st wife is gorgeous and intelligent
Tbh I only feel like progressive/liberal men are like this. More Conservative/independent men aren’t like this and have more of a traditional “it’s okay and even good to be a provider” mindset and I find them sweeter and less radical and hateful of traditional values that support women
I’m younger, so this is my assessment of my generation. The modern feminist movement has made many young men act like this, post it on social media, and have this mentality. Most young men are liberal 🤷🏾♀️
This is why I've always been unapologetic about everything I want in my life. Well, this and the fact that my mom create a spoiled brat. 🤷🏾♀️😌 Thanx, Ma.
Smart!
This Why If You entertain this LEAVES HIM ONCE YOU BECOME" THAT CHICK!"Or If He LOSES Everything!(Just like the WW Will!)
You are fortunate ..I'm glad you didn't have to learn the hard way like me. I was taught to be loyal and that "money isnt everything " when it comes to men. Well I went through everything Chrissie spoke about in this video. Used and tossed away like trash when he got on his feet. It's not a joke..this really is the hard truth. Make smart choices ladies.
You're lucky. The problem with my ma and her MA is that they are unfortunately still dealing with the times where a woman's life is based on marriage and having kids....sigh....
Same!!
For those of us who are young and in relationships with young upwardly mobile men, I'd say make sure you're not giving him money and definitely don't go paying any of his bills. Men need to be able to establish and take care of themselves without your financial help for the sake of their masculinity and ego anyway. If you have a good traditionally masculine man, your femininity and encouragement is enough.
That is they key.
Rinse em.
And definitely don't play house with these men either. Let him establish himself as you are doing the same and when he puts that ring on your finger and a date has been set than I would say give it a go.
Very true
I applaud and envy the young bg/bw of this generation. You ladies are being fed gold. Have I had this type of knowledge even 10 years ago, I would be in a much different place. Enjoy your hypergamy, enjoy your youth and your freedom
As a black woman, with a lot of black female friends, Im shocked how many of them called me “crazy” or said I’ll never find a man, because I dont want to deal with dusties and men who arent financially stable. I thought we all wanted better. I guess not🤦🏽♀️
They be posting quotes and ish about wanting better but settle for dusties🤣🤣🤣
They’ll learn the hard way
I have been told the same thing by the black women in my close circle of family members and friends. It’s quite crazy and mind blowing.
Exactly they always talk about personality fuck personality! I will never ever marry a man making less than me.
Listen 👂 some don’t but we do. I’m with you. I’m realizing now my ex should be more friends business. Idk about romantically I don’t think he can or want so we do have to move accordingly
In our society men have high levels of narcissism and shallowness but black men’s narcissism and shallow is on another level.
Because of the women who have given them praise that they haven’t earned
I agree on that not all
I was today’s years old when I found out that Netflix CEO is married to a black woman 🤩
Wow! I just looked it up. Nicole Avant is not just any BW she is definitely high quality with a bougie background and I love it! She definitely placed herself in the line of sight of her high value husband and married him at age 40-41. I can definitely learn from her example.
😍
🤩
Hold on now...this is breaking news...
@@Keke-oh6zd i had to google....damn
The part that really got me was him saying this leads to violence and a lot of these guys agreeing with it. With the black femicide going on and the KS mentality it's very scary! 😨
Right they do anything to justify violence.
Yes!!! That last comment tells us that there’s something off with him. He will likely be unsuccessful in finding a come up woman, she would see the red flags hopefully.
Yes, that was a bit disturbing. They always go to option Violence
Plus he's a South African man. Guess which country has the highest rate of femicide in the world? South Africa!
@@isa12rae we need to protect black women.
My thing is.. men get upset that women want them for their money but then say things like this...
From what I've noticed it's usually the broke or rejected men that get mad at Black women who look for financially stabled men. The men with money understand to a point that relationships are similar to a business transaction. You get what ya pay for😉
Men don’t mind gold diggers when it’s the women they want. When they complain about gold diggers it’s for the women they don’t see as worth spending money on.
@@shantijones6410 🎯
They're lairs. They just want to convince women to sleep with them when they're broke, while simultaneously chasing after the gold diggers that are hard to get. Men don't want women to love them for them, they want women to love them for what they do.
It’s fake outage from them. I’ve really realized men like to just hear themselves talk. They like to appear smart and like to appear they have more substances than they actually have. They like to feel more important than they are. I’ve realized most things men say, unfortunately you have to take most of what they say, with a grain of salt. And I mean no matter the topic, you have to take what they say with a grain of salt.
I was a guy’s “come-up woman.”
Never again.
I love your locs you are so beautiful.
Beautiful
Me too, sis. Me too.
Don’t date older BM either. I was 25 tried to date a 42 years old BM and he was just as dusty as the 32 year old before that. It’s better to not date them at all.
So very true! I experienced this when I was seeing an educated, job having brotha in his late 30s/ early 40s. I was in my mid 20s and I got rid of him. I'm so glad I didn't get serious or pregnant by him.
I’ve noticed that as well… they tend to be useless and even very cheap even in older age . The good thing with dating out is that you typically don’t have to go super old to get a man with some decent money. Many times these men have it together in the 28-33 age category.
Yup
Exactly! Don’t let these older men fool you. Some of them are just as bad as the younger ones. I dated a 58 year old and he had so many issues.
@@xlovex4740 The older guy I was dating didn’t mind spending money but he definitely showed his true colors and turned out to be cheap as hell. Clearly he was pretending to be someone else when I first met him. His true colors definitely came shining through 🤦🏾♀️
I'm with you whole heartedly about looking the part. I was surprised about dropping some weight and gaining some confidence went a long way for me. A little peap in your step is noticeable.
Very Much So... Some, They See You As A Whole Different "Commodity."
I need to get back on my A game. I am pretty and guys still approach me but I know I'm not at mt best
The come up woman really convinced herself that she’ll be rewarded for the sticking around, building and struggling with a man. He’ll always move on to the woman he couldn’t get when he was broke and dusty. He’ll move on to the woman that wouldn’t settle for him. Grown women are always talking about we can build together while she already has everything... so basically she’s building him and won’t get anything in return.
Preach! 👏👏👏
Cookie Lyon basically
exactly. no return on your investment = 🤡
I get what ur saying but not all guys like that I know plenty of couples who struggled together and still stuck by each other when they got where they wanted to be in life and are married...some men are just trash and will use u and most of the time we women know this yet we stick with them thinking that we will change them which only backfires if we can only be honest with with ourselves we can avoid a lot of heartbreak
@@ej6951 what YOU know is anecdotal evidence. the collective mindset reflects a vastly different reality.
Exactly why a man should spoil you period. Don't give that man any money.
Exactly, the less you do for a man, the more you get. Rest in your femininity and let him pay.
@@c.l.9344 with that mindset i don't think you'll get any man😂
with that mindset i don't think you'll get any man😂
@@silent_dolphin3970 I'm good, thanks 😊 I have an amazing provider King.
@@silent_dolphin3970 well I'm not single
A man seeking a woman’s companionship, when he is struggling, is just plain wicked. He needs to struggle by himself! It will cause him to become a stronger man, and allow you the woman, to maintain your sanity and rest in your femininity💅🏾.
Period
💯💯💯
Bloop 💁🏽♀️💅🏽
I dont agree with this. Women struggle and still desire companionship. That's natural. No one wants to struggle alone
Noneyah
The difference, according to my uncle, is a woman can go longer than a man without intimacy. A determined woman will sacrifice and go it alone, whereas a man will not.
I have always said “why would I aspire to be in a relationship when I have to work on myself. Mentally and physically?” I 100% agree that it is essential to be comfortable with being single, to create boundaries and even discern/ properly vetting a man
I think we need to drop the “why be in a relationship when i gotta work on myself” mentality cause everyones always working on themselves, there is such thing as being unfit for a relationship but not everyones going to be 100 percent secure with themselves. You need others help to grow, cant cut that communication off.
That’s why Chrissie is saying dating with a light heart, dating multiple men at the same time because when we have options we don’t feel desperate and will not be in a hurry. We can work on ourselves and still have fun dating. Many men will try to woo us by taking us to nice places.
So glad as a DSWB I can date my type now (non BM) than having to wait for a come up 🤣 I love having options
One day I will get there! 😩 I can't wait either, it's so ghetto here.
Yea. Not about to wait on a man to become successful because he's a blk man. A lot of bw need to jump off the BBC train. I've seen my friends pass up great opportunities because the man wasn't blk🙄🤦
@@stopthelightskinguilt.3775 so true. I notice some BW who chase BM are in love with their "potential" of "what he could be". When he gets there, he is leaving asap. It's sad.
@@darlin9153 like get your head on straight and move accordingly. I'm done with BM. I'm so sick of seeing them run their mouths. I'm done 😭😭
@@stopthelightskinguilt.3775 exactly. Running their lips but nothing else
He's admitting he can only attract "his type" with money. If he wants to be taken advantage of fine by me.
@Leslie Maylor I never felt bad for them
FACTS!
Broke men shouldn’t begetting female attention
All men KNOW that the more money and status they have, the more women will be interested in them and submissive to their leadership. Loser men don’t want to admit this or acknowledge reality because they want to lower women’s self esteem and standards so they can take a short cut to having a relationship. Never settle and make sure you take good care of yourself
@Tasia Reign you ain't never lie for real
Observe,don't argue,don't talk out of anger, observe and be silent. Am 21 years second last year doing my bachelor of laws,been single for all my life ,I will only give myself to a man who values marriage and family no matter the race. I have seen many broken families and I need my own intact family. I will have to be strategic in that search. No way am I building a man, never, we build families after marriage not during fornication.
I’m proud of you
Yes Unicorn 👏🏾💖
I agree with you but you can still date to know how they play games. You’ll be more comfortable then. You don’t have to give your all , just spend time and see how things go. If you feel like you have to give too much you stop seeing him :)
A whole sermon👏🏾💓
You go girl. !!
That’s why I take it as a compliment being called a gold digger . You DAMN RIGHT
In Dominican slang it’s a chapiadora and you know damn right I wear it like a badge of honor
True!! do not offended when men call you a gold digger. They call you that when they mad since they can't make your self-esteem go low enough to become their doormat! ANDDDDD us 'gold diggers' get everything we want in the end of the day btw 😎😎😎
Thank you for this message! Especially about the “ he’s using you to pass time with “… So many woman ignore the fact that they are being used for that . When a man tells me he thinks I’m “cute “, he thinks I’m suppose to fall at his feet for that . Instead I tell them to not settle for a cute woman . Get with someone you think is drop dead gorgeous so you can enjoy looking at her everyday … my standards are so much higher than when I was younger
@_PrettyBrownBrown same. It never works out when you're not his top preference. I see the difference in men who adore and choose bw first. We're treated tremendously better.
These dusties show us who they are all the time but we seem to ignore it and think things will be different. We shouldn't have to learn the hard way all the time.
These dusties never come up lmao
They keep showing us who they are and how they feel we need to believe them!
🎯🎯🎯
For those that don't learn. I believe their mentally ill
And They Be Upset You Not "Giving Them A Chance" To Run Through You Too😭😭😭 Like I See The Behaviour And Your Adopting Pattern... Must I Not See Through Your 💩 Too? Must I See To You Doing Me Bad? I Know Better😩🥴.
A man is only as faithful as his option
I see you on every hypergamy/fermininity video i watch. I just wanna say Hi
@@AddBowIfGirl good isn't written on the forehead
@@Karzinoo hey gurl❤
Whew yes and yes
Men only date women they CAN.
This stuff makes me physically sick. You really can’t trust anyone these days and we as black women especially have to be so on armoured up at all times to avoid being used, abused and discarded. It’s exhausting having your guard up all the time and disappointing how necessary it is to.
Thank u!! I'm just so discouraged. These men are dodgy and sleezy!!! And maybe one day u'll find that amazing guy but because we are so guarded we will miss out. That's my biggest fear.
So true...
That’s why we have to date with a light heart. If the man isn’t making commitment, marriage, or at least fully financially providing for us a priority then we must take everything they do like a grain of salt.
Never get attached to anything or anyone outside of yourself. The ability to detach yourself from people and things that don't serve you or add value to you is the greatest power you can have. Cultivate it.
What you’re proposing is a greatly difficult task for many. In fact, building up walls and dodging emotional connections is seen as a trauma response.
A more proper course of action is to be more selective on who you devote emotional energy to, so that you don’t have to detach in the first place. We have emotions, we’re human after all.
@@borderingonnothing agree. Humans are generally social creatures. When we have have good connections it's actually HEALTHY.
Desperate times call for desperate measures until u are legally wed I agree with this
@@ShallowExistence how can you get married if you don't form bonds with people? 😂 That doesn't make sense. Detaching from undesirable behaviors or people is one thing, but if one hopes to have healthy relationships in the future, we have to get better at discernment and leaving behind what doesn't serve us, not dropping everything. Also, everything in life is a risk. Few of us make it out without encountering someone we don't like.
I was the come up woman back in college and I learned the hard way when he left as soon as he found a new job and he moved in with the girl he really wanted. I use to give him money, cooked for him, let him stay at his place when he couldn’t afford his, etc. I got NOTHING in return.
I am so sorry to read that😪! I hope you'll heal and find someone who will respect you and take care of you as you deserve it.
Many of us have done the same sis, thanks for your truth.
You gave a man MONEY, and COOKED for a mannn…. Chile’s don’t do that again lol
Lol. You are bckward af
@@streamlinedbeautyhealthlif4817 not me cause I have common sense
I find this so interesting because people try to minimize the effects of colorism by saying we only complain when it comes to who a man dates. Meanwhile, dating and marriage plays a major role in our mental, financial and physical health. Making dsbw aware of how deep colorism runs is extremely important in protecting us.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Say it again please!!!
Isnt it obvious tho? Meaning, hasnt the actions of the community showed colorism? Was more needed?
I hope more of my age mates find your channel and hear your message. YOU’RE A GEM CHRISSIE!!!
You should definitely tell them about Chrisse and send links
@@Cjn03980 i Will🙌🏾
From experience, you'll never know if a guy truly loves you if he's on the come up. When he is established and wants to have a serious relationship with you, that's really how you'll know. However, realistically many women meet men while these men are yet to fully build themselves up. But it's a risk.
Agreed. A lot of that has to do with immediate environments. Once you’re out of your comfort zone and can accept the level up process then you can be fully engaged. In the beginning you default to what’s familiar because it seems easier, but really you’re just holding yourself back and working harder.
Exactly. There's no way of knowing. All you can do is make decisions based on how you're being treated. If it don't feel right then it isn't right so leave. Usually you will know before things get too serious.
A man will date the placeholder but marry his PREFERENCE / game changer. A man will date a cubic zirconia but marry the rare gem that brought what the other women aren't bringing. Don't prepare a man for another woman. Just because a man allows you in his bedroom, doesn't mean he's allowed in his heart. I repeat, don't prepare a man for another woman.
Comment of the year!!!!!
Wow, seeing the photos of celebrities really confirmed it. I’m 19 and I’m really glad you opened my eyes.
He is very unattractive. He has a lot of nerve. But, there are a lot of desperate females out there..thank you, for this video.
@Shrnyae T Sholl do. He has no business outside of captivity.
YES I went to his page and was like EWW!! He's not even attractive 💀 The fact that he's a south African man and they have always been disrespectful towards their women,hence the African proverb money brings out their true character SMH I am not suprised by that tweet! They always been that way sickening ‼️🤦🏽♀️
He ain't handsome at all
Waiting on us to talk about the Desperate Women who allow Men to do whatever they want
Let's talk about how a lot of men don't even like women period. We're usually beards.
If men could detach vagina from women, they wouldn’t deal with us at all. They don’t like us.
Spat out my ☕️!!!! 💀
@@kittykatz4001 👀👀... I saw a meme that stated, "A lot of you men don't like women, you just like how they make your dk feel". It's sad but it's true. Not all men are like this, but there's a loud minority/majority(?) that you can tell from the way they bully women online and treat them in person, (hashtag- mgtow/pump and dump), they really only deal with women for pleasure sexually. I've even heard many say we're only good for sx and babies. And that reminds me of a thought I had about how in the past men had to marry women to get sx. But now it's easier to get sx without marriage, and because of this you see the true nature of many men. I wonder if that's one the reasons women in the past were abused or treated harshly by their spouse. The man really didn't want her, just what's between her legs. But was stuck with her after pumping due to marriage, where divorce was often frowned upon. There are of course devoted men who value women, don't get me wrong, but that loud minority/majority(?) is out there and pretend well, until they get what they want.
@@kittykatz4001 LMFAO some are already on it
👀 you ain't lying.🙌🏽
More women should sit back and peep game on how men think these days instead of reacting from emotion. Trust, it'll save your life
Lots of truths here. My only disagree is dating older men. I have a very young face and have attracted older men all my life. Men who don't take, "I'm too young for you" , at 17 and under, as a full stop. I use it as tool to spot pedos. If you're in an older age group and you're hitting on me because you thought I was 19-22, that's a predator.
Exactly.
Omg, girl i honestly couldn't figure out why older men gave me attention and guys my age didn't . It took me a while to figure out that i have a baby face. I've learned to stay away from them now
Thank you 🙏 Chrissie…I met a plain looking Asian woman who told me with glee that her Black doctor 👨🏾⚕️ husband dropped his black girlfriend the moment he became established to date his “type” which was her and she ADMITTED that she had nothing and that he didn’t require as much in terms of accomplishments as he did with his black ex…I’ve learned to not date broke men! They are jealous and filled with self-loathing drama 🎭 listen to this woman and stop 🛑 being the victim of gaslighting
I've just started watching "Insecure" and that has a similar scenario. Issa and Molly can't get their boyfriends to commit to them, but Molly's coworker, a plain looking Asian woman, gets engaged to her black boyfriend within a heartbeat.
Great commentary! So many truths told. Especially about being comfortable being alone. Desperation is NEVER sexy or attractive. Also, looking well cared for does weed out people. While people, especially men, like to diss the so called “stuck up woman”, these women are more likely to get more respect because they let it be known that they are not easy. Like Maya Angelou said, “when a person tell or show you who they are, believe them!”
Just last night my uncle was shaming me for saying I'm not willing to be a come up woman. He said “you should be with a broke man and build him so that you grow together” haha I just laughed and said I'm not about to be left when he gets to his preference “level”
To try and shame me he said”you will be a puppet in his eyes.”
Meanwhile he always says he likes women with long flowing hair and is always talking about this woman is beautiful she's light skinned and blah blah blah
Like nahhhhhh those tactics are out now. I'm done
No comeup woman here haha
Your uncle up here telling you how you aint worthy of a good husband either! Man, these men are BELOW bottom. I would have to reduce my talking with uncle.. that’s not positive reinforcement. No offense but I’m saying how I feel to this.
Sad your uncle said that. They definitely want women to date broke men so they can help out their fellow broke man since they see themselves in them.
Girl never speak to him again. I can't believe we pumped fists for BLM. I will Not stand with black men. Hope I don't raise a black man like that.. would be so embarrassing and hurtful
Your uncle tried to set you up for failure. Hopefully, you never need help one day because I don’t think your uncle would help you.
@@catharsismemory so true, smh
That tweet blew up and im glad it did, what an absolutely dumb move to admit that you're using your girlfriend as a place holder not to just to everyone but her too. If it's real, i hope to God his girlfriend saw it at this point. It's kinda annoying hear men complain about hypergamy when they are using women as a come up.
They only complain about BW being “gold-diggers.” They know what time it is when it comes to preferences and NBW. The shaming verbiage is for BW.
@@alkahinat4558 FAR MORE.
And that needs to change. The gold digging and hylergamous shaming comes from them not being able to access women at cheaper cost.
Yes build yourself up. Stay in shape . Black men saying they like thick women is sabotage. Most men of many races prefer women of the correct weight. I refused to be second best to my own man.
What 🤨 thick means big butts and thighs not being overweight
@@Las645 Yes but Black men do pretend to prefer big women but ONLY seem to be with the big White ones. Black women stay in shape and venture out. Did you hear of the beautiful Black attorney who was murdered by her dusty man? She should not have been dating down.
@@Las645 The big Butts and big thighs lead to being fat. When I was younger, I had that naturally along with small waist. Now I’m older, I’m heavy and need to loose weight, which I’m working on.
Women who are thin with flat butts while young, but get shamed for it now will be envied when they get older, by formerly thick women who got fat as they age!
Revenge of the skinny, flat booty sisters!
@@kittykatz4001 So true but funny😜 thick is just another word for fat. Obesity is coming to thick women. All I am saying is women try to stay in shape. High value men do prefer a fit woman. Also build yourself up because at the end of the day you are the only one you can depend on.
@@Las645 you can still be overweight while carrying it in those places. I think the point was don't out of your way to gain weight (or maintain weight) just to be "thick". Bc most other races of men appreciate slim women.
I like how you give us what we need without talking down on us. Don't ever change.
Please spread the word😭😭😭😭 we need to upgrade ourselves as a collective .Tell your sister,your nieces,any woman in your family.
I actually saw this tweet and blocked him. Blocking people is the best thing you can do to avoid the possibility that I'll cross paths online with someone like that. Yuck
I love ya Ms. Chrissie. Regardless of when you post, you never fail to put out the truth. You’ve been helping me so so much in my life and as a young sistah I can tell you that I’m at peace. Much love to ya I can’t wait for the app when it’s time. Do NOT lose faith Ms. Chrissie!🤗💓💕🙏🏾🙏🏾
Girl same I’ve never been in a relationship before or even come close to one and I’m so happy Bc I’m able to learn all this from Chrissie a head of time and now I don’t have a ton of failed relationships I’m grateful to be single and learning
Trust me ladies, non-black men are much more interested in and attracted to us than we realize.
Yeah but at the same time you have to vent them. Believe me, using women is not merely black men problem
I think a lot of BW don't venture out due to their own insecurities. You can't just keep telling someone something. They have to step outside of their comfort zone to realize it. Many BW still have insecurities and low self esteem. That's why they feel more comfortable with the Ray Rays'. When they defend these BM, they're defending themselves.
@Chloe Beverly Prove it.
@@lisah3460 prove what ? Only black men pump and dump ? Only black men can see you as a starter wife ? Don’t make me defend them just be careful instead of putting Non black men on a pedestal. Open your options but be strategic.
@@haryel5058 The comment was meant for Chloe.
The fact that men do this is evil to me. Why waste someone’s time? Yeah they can’t get what they want but why use somebody else in the mean time? That’s beyond evil to me.
"why use somebody else in the mean time" for sex!! That's all they care about lol
It’s called using !!! People do it all the time! It’s very evil and sad
There should be punishment for it. That's what marriages are about, a contract. Otherwise people will just use and abuse, there's no punishment.
These are the same guys who will kill their trophy women if they decide to upgrade.
It‘s not evil, it‘s selfish. That’s how they are. The sooner you realise it, the easier you‘ll get yours.
Exactly! So heartless
We love you Chrissie. Us real ones gonna stand by you 🙌🏿
I really love your advice through the video. It’s very valuable to me and helpful. Making so many bw wake up, make better life choices and improve their life circumstances. I can’t tell you how quick I pressed this video when I saw the notification and the title. Your commentaries are rich in value. I always like to hear your perspective. I appreciate your work Chrissie!!! Really do. Thanks for this video and all your videos. Love from your subbie. ☺️
So these are the men Tyler perry says that black women should date and support even when they can only pay a light bill, huh?
When you give yourself time to be alone, the vision of what you want in life becomes very clear. When you enter the dating field again you are less accepting and willing to settle
I seen do my own eyes women will stunt their growth to not own shine their men to make him feel good
I'm half black and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't want to date him because when I met him I was dating a black men and black women tend to not date anyone except black men. Alot of non-black men assume that black women aren't interested in anyone else besides black men. I work with one of my friends who is a dark skinned Black American woman and several of the established software engineers that I also work with have asked me about her and asked me to ask her if she would date an Asian dude. She only likes black men, but honestly alot of black men in her tax bracket don't prefer her phenotypes. It's sad because she's funny af and I think any man could have alot of fun dating her.
Noooooo! Not blocking her own blessings. Smh
@Leslie Maylor I tried setting her up with a really decent, respectful guy that my bf works with. I used to work under him as an intern. I had a huge crush on him. He is a really good dude and he's successful. But he's not black...🤦🏽♀️I wanted to slap her.
Trust me, eventually she’ll see the light. Or find a darker skinned man/mixed. It’s unlikely she’ll find luck with a black man.
This pains me. Because this term describes most of the women in my family. I’m never making the mistake of being a come up woman
💯💯💯
I’m currently getting rid of my dusty. He thinks he’s doing something because he just enrolled in a medical assistant program but he literally only did it to get money because he was in the military so he gets money every month to go to school. All he does is smoke, play the PlayStation and shit. He wasn’t even able to give me his half of the rent money this month but idec because I’m moving into a house in a couple months and he’s not coming. I don’t even talk to him anymore I can’t wait to get away from him and never see him again.
Sis run! 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
Don’t have any kids with him.
@@gelleh.5456 he been gone 😊🥰 thank God
We don't usually use men for sex, relationship, things, until a rich man comes along. We usually wait for the right person. That's the difference. Yes, your appearance does matter.
"we usually wait for the right person" what do you mean?
It’s the “violent behavior” for me… BM out here showing their behinds. Be careful out there women
Men use overweight women as come up women too, I'm big myself don't come for me you know I ain't lying.
Just look at him.....😦 It's ALWAYS the one's that lack.... ALWAYS.
😂
ALWAYS!!
Also it’s incredibly important to focus more on what you want rather than what you don’t want
Never build a man. He will resent you. Look at all those rappers and look how Betty Broderick ended up 🙃🙃
Yesss girl that husband drove her insane smh
Not Betty Broderick! Lol
Betty's story is insane! I remember Stephanie Soo talking about her. I don't feel bad for the ex-husband even though she SHOULD NOT have killed him. For herself and her kids.
I feel that this happens so much more often to black women, and that because it does, BW are not driven to the lengths that Betty, a WW, was.
@@ev6564 same haha
This is exactly what I was telling my former friend! She found the first black guy that is “successful” and she moved in, cooking him breakfast, going grocery shopping and giving him sex. They didn’t even go on a date yet,
I gave a dusty the time of day and by the end of the conversation he said “you give me uppity black girl vibes and that makes you less attractive, your not attractive enough to act like that” in past time I would’ve sat and thought on this for some time but knowing my value and my self worth I let it go. Ladies don’t let these men challenge your value.
Exactly he probably smells
@Leslie Maylor This! This Was a word I needed to hear. Thank You!
@Leslie Maylor ding ding ding. I ran to comment just that.
The women who read that man's posts and took his statements personally need to rethink how they date. I wondered how long (and why) his girlfriend had been pining over a man who doesn't have a "decent job." Sheesh!
Y’all are ahead of the game. Wish I had this commentary when I was 23.
17:40 I agree with this 100%. I am currently trying to work on my weight and my overall confidence when it comes to my appearance. It is also very important to be happy on your own while you are still in the process of levelling up. I had to learn this for most of my life now being 25 and still single.
Isn’t this kinda similar to Kanye’s lyrics? Something about “staying with your man until he gets his ways and then he’ll leave your ass for a yt girl” lol
ain't it what he did ?
OR jamy Fox; he'll Leave your ass for a White Girl -golddigger
Out of his own mouth once he got wealthy, pre Kim Kardashian as his wife.🤔🤨
Some people think that "come up" woman applies only in dating relationships but it couldn't be further from the truth. Matter of fact, many wives are in come up relationships, which sometimes last a lifetime of being cheated on with the women these men really wanted but couldn't or can't wife for whatever reason. Just because he wifed you, doesn't mean you were his best or first choice. Men are very pragmatic when it comes to relationships so don't think that you are the only one, most likely you were the one that was too eager to say YES or only one that said YES. Just saying....
Chrissie you have a very pleasant voice to listen to 🤗.
I’m going off to a university with a major school of Medicine and Veterinary department in January. Can’t wait to start using some of the tips the hypergamy movement taught me to snatch a good man of my own 😏
@Not your mama, I don’t love you Good for you. You can do it.
Amazing! I'm a junior in college; I wish I could go back to freshman year. I don't have much experience with dating, but the women in my life who take these guys too seriously usually suffer. So I would suggest serial dating (but not sex!), and not being too emotionally invested until you have the ring. And please only marry him AFTER he's established, not when he's upwardly mobile in college or immediately after college. I hope that you will stay safe and will have a successful hypergamous romantic life! I'm so happy seeing more and more black women with this mindset.
@@ev6564 Thanks for the advice 🤗
Natural hair intimidates dustys. They tell me im beautiful everyday and keep it moving. You can smell the intimidation coming off them.
Because wearing your hair naturally shows self confidence and a man can't take advantage of a confident woman. 😉
@@tiffanyyisrael7989 Facts!! When you have your natural hair you Automatically look like you have higher self esteem. They know they games won't work with you.
"because you have a struggle love appearance." 😂😂😂 Damn
I hope his current girlfriend is seeing his comments. He is planning to leave her in advance, such honesty is highly appreciated. If she is smart, she can make a quick exit.
Yup, let him find his way until he get where he wants to be....in my Donnell Jones song.