NZ Army/Airforce training exposed!

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  • Опубліковано 7 чер 2019
  • This is the hilarious Bullets Bullets Bullets routine taken from Rhys' 4th comedy special 'I'm a Fighter Jet' (2016). Believe it or not some of this stuff is a true account from Rhys' time in the NZ Army. He served as a Communications Electronics Operator in the Royal NZ Signals Corp (1991-1995).

КОМЕНТАРІ • 124

  • @Bee-ks8tl
    @Bee-ks8tl 2 роки тому +291

    Have you guys considered he pulls off the tight pants incredibly well?? My man has legs for days and calves for the gods…

    • @cuandotumedasunagalleta7169
      @cuandotumedasunagalleta7169 2 роки тому +58

      Why hes so good at being Stede, 90% calf work

    • @AdAstraBaby
      @AdAstraBaby 2 роки тому +6

      My thoughts exactly 💯

    • @jezg
      @jezg 2 роки тому +18

      Leggey blonde

    • @marycanary86
      @marycanary86 2 роки тому +15

      he was born for those silk stockings and for that general air of utter incompetence

    • @gretchenzick
      @gretchenzick 9 місяців тому +3

      The tight pants are the main thing I’m noticing.😊

  • @zacandmillie
    @zacandmillie 4 роки тому +147

    Early days in my army career in the mid 90s we'd yell 'Buckets of bullets, buckets of bullets' when we were carrying the machine gun

  • @dumbalek6001
    @dumbalek6001 8 місяців тому +15

    I love Rhys's "young Rhys" impression. It's so adorable my girlfriend and I just keep saying "bullets bullets bullets" in this voice to eachother randomly at least once a day.

  • @followingwaves
    @followingwaves 2 роки тому +226

    It gets me when he cracks himself up. Love a comedian that loves his own jokes 😂

    • @NewYorkCityUtopia
      @NewYorkCityUtopia 2 роки тому +2

      I can't get Mystic Time Bird in video in my country, only audio (grr), and the little chuckles stand out... love them.

  • @bri4935
    @bri4935 2 роки тому +56

    the New Zealand army out there LARPING "BULLETS BULLETS BULLETS

  • @LowHangingShakespeare
    @LowHangingShakespeare 2 роки тому +26

    We did “bullets bullets bullets” in the US Army, too. And “simulated kill”.

  • @ericthompson3982
    @ericthompson3982 2 роки тому +60

    This dude is one of my favorite comedians. His command of the adorable and absurd is so fun to watch.

  • @wolfganghendery8298
    @wolfganghendery8298 3 роки тому +237

    Yeah my mate was in the RNZAF, they couldn't afford to train them with actual helicopters so they made the recruits wave their hands in a circle going 'chkachkachkachka' mimicking the sound of a real helicopter while the instructor trained them lmfao.

    • @P.Subaeruginosa
      @P.Subaeruginosa 2 роки тому +32

      I love how all of these new Zealand army training scenarios may as well have no simulation and instead have you do it in your head but for some reason they chose the most comical way to do it

    • @jacobroscoe6433
      @jacobroscoe6433 2 роки тому +6

      @@P.Subaeruginosa they don't do that since they raised the budget now it's nearly 6 billion and they use blanks like every other army

    • @jacobroscoe6433
      @jacobroscoe6433 2 роки тому

      Dude 😂 they have a 50 million dollar helicopter simulator I know your joking but just in case you didn't know

    • @P.Subaeruginosa
      @P.Subaeruginosa 2 роки тому +5

      @@jacobroscoe6433 I'm very serious and I'm clearly talking about this time period as hes talking about this time period, nationalism is a poison.

    • @jacobroscoe6433
      @jacobroscoe6433 2 роки тому +4

      @@P.Subaeruginosa you haven't even been in the military 😂 my brother is an officer in the army and in about to go into basic training in 1992 the defense budget was at it's lowest the military uses blanks and live rounds for training now days you don't know what you are talking about

  • @breefeez
    @breefeez 2 роки тому +67

    This crowd was so lame, Rhys was brilliant!!

  • @zaynevanday142
    @zaynevanday142 2 роки тому +106

    I was in the Army around the same time and I can confirm we actually did this shit usually Territorials (Part time)

    • @zaynevanday142
      @zaynevanday142 2 роки тому +7

      Fkn ole Bullets Bullets Bullets

    • @darrylhobbs3200
      @darrylhobbs3200 8 місяців тому

      Wait till the other guy says Tank Tank Tank.... @@zaynevanday142

  • @greshaw89
    @greshaw89 5 років тому +113

    They are some rather tight pants.

    • @sarahday6016
      @sarahday6016 4 роки тому +17

      I can't even hear what hes saying - his pants are so tight

    • @Beveck1
      @Beveck1 4 роки тому +1

      @@sarahday6016 he is trash who is he

    • @CaptainKirkDiggler
      @CaptainKirkDiggler 4 роки тому +2

      I agree. The bottom of those pants are awful tight...
      Rhys still rules though.

    • @kore5080
      @kore5080 10 місяців тому

      ​@officerbarbrady3975wait, when?!

  • @johntavish8750
    @johntavish8750 4 роки тому +63

    Also true for the French Army, back in 2008 I use to shout a lot of "BRATATATATATATA PEW PEW PEW". Yep. Fun times.

  • @DinoPimp
    @DinoPimp 2 роки тому +36

    I love how hopelessly low budget New Zealand used to be. I work with quite a few old buggers who are ex NZ Army, and I seem to recall a couple of them saying how farcical it could be at times.
    Oodly enough those who served during that time and made it to their pension date got a better deal than those who are entering the military now.

  • @nzgunnie
    @nzgunnie 4 роки тому +76

    To be fair, the Skyhawks were purchased new in 1970, and Hobsonville didn't have tarmack, it was a grass airfield. However I've also run around with a steyr yelling bullets, bullets, bullets.

  • @megadox3713
    @megadox3713 5 років тому +81

    This is very factual, I have fired “bullets” and also pretended to be a Punzgauer in a field

  • @CaptainKirkDiggler
    @CaptainKirkDiggler 4 роки тому +36

    🎶Everybody's talking bout his tight pants... he's got his tight pants, he's got his tight pants on...🎶

  • @efnissien
    @efnissien 2 роки тому +61

    The bit about the NZ army running out of money because of the Steyr AUG isn't unusual, Ireland bought the Steyr too and ehhh, yeah well, ummmmm.
    Oh and am I the only person who's intrigued by the irony of the New Zealand airforce having a Kiwi as it's symbol, yeah I get 'Kiwi' as the nickname for New Zealanders but a Flightless bird for the airforce?

    • @EuroGuy85
      @EuroGuy85 2 роки тому +6

      to mimic their flightless planes bro 😂

    • @leviroch
      @leviroch Рік тому

      It's coz the entire country is full of smartarses, same as straya. They recently voted a bat as their favourite bird for the exact same reason lol

  • @elyandoly
    @elyandoly Рік тому +9

    Am I the only one who was distracted by his legs the whole time?

  • @monkeyspankerful
    @monkeyspankerful 4 роки тому +73

    In the build up to the Gulf War, we needed to conserve ammunition... I carried the big, black gun, the GPMG, we shouted "Banana, banana, banana!".

  • @cynsini9211
    @cynsini9211 5 років тому +29

    Needed a Coran fix, found "bullets bullets bullets" - thank you for the "laughter laughter laughter"!

  • @followingwaves
    @followingwaves 2 роки тому +38

    Looking respectfully at these tight pants 👀

    • @stanista
      @stanista 2 роки тому +4

      Those are THE skinniest jeans I have ever seen

    • @followingwaves
      @followingwaves 2 роки тому +1

      @@stanista he must have bought them specifically for the first part of his stand up too. Just imagine him going to the shops asking for the tightest trousers they had.

  • @belumptuous
    @belumptuous 3 роки тому +31

    Did you put your jeans in the dryer Rhys? Robin Hood called, he wants his tights back.

    • @rhysdarby8315
      @rhysdarby8315  3 роки тому +90

      I'd give them back if his legs were as good as mine!

    • @mobrien7618
      @mobrien7618 2 роки тому +15

      This man did once win a Sexy Legs Contest though

  • @toothpastehombre
    @toothpastehombre 5 років тому +72

    "some of this isn't true"

    • @JoshuaFletch
      @JoshuaFletch 5 років тому +14

      Great name for a stand up special.

    • @Beveck1
      @Beveck1 4 роки тому +1

      True

    • @Beveck1
      @Beveck1 4 роки тому +1

      Facts

  • @skuney4851
    @skuney4851 2 роки тому +10

    i think the nz army in the 90s was just a dance camp

  • @gloriadevilliers2900
    @gloriadevilliers2900 3 роки тому +10

    Yup, bullets bullets bullets for the steyer and banana banana banana for the light support weapon...

  • @Apis4
    @Apis4 2 роки тому +7

    I'm pretty sure the Skyhawks came from the Australian Air Force, when the Australian Navy decided to decommission the HMAS Melbourne (the aircraft carrier they were used on), and no longer had need for them (Australian Government had just signed a deal to buy a ton of F18s, so even if they replaced the Melbourne ...which they were not sure about, they had better planes for any future carrier).
    I think the plan initially, was simply to canvas wrap them, and bury them, just like they eventually did with their squadron of F111's, but then New Zealand put their hand up and said they could take them off our hands, and the Australian Government was like "Bonza, not our problem now"
    I think it was field guns the NZ Army salvaged from the sea.

  • @rustysmith540
    @rustysmith540 4 роки тому +27

    There's not enough pants where there should be more pants

    • @sarahday6016
      @sarahday6016 4 роки тому

      For the love of god, give your pants back to your girlfriend

  • @fenoftheforest
    @fenoftheforest 2 роки тому +9

    those pants are so distracting. damn this man has legs for days

  • @burntsconeoops4692
    @burntsconeoops4692 2 роки тому +7

    Wow, he is so funny *stares at pants* hah... thats a good machine gun sound...

  • @kashiichan
    @kashiichan 2 роки тому +5

    "YA BUGGERED!"

  • @colonelkurtz2269
    @colonelkurtz2269 2 роки тому +1

    The A4 Skyhawk was developed in the 50s to replace the prop Douglas Skyraider. It was an ground attack jet and also had a nuclear mission.

  • @MattDawson01
    @MattDawson01 2 роки тому +6

    I've heard the story about the source of the sky hawks before, but it was actually the source of our artillery pieces. Story goes, at the end of WW2 USA was dumping m101 105mm howitzers in the Mississippi and NZ came and pulled them out and took them home. Bound to be an element of truth in it somewhere. Great story about bullets bullets bullets, was still doing it in '99, takes me back.

  • @robertlefale7995
    @robertlefale7995 4 роки тому +21

    I used to throw pine cones! Grenade!

    • @addrock7695
      @addrock7695 2 роки тому

      Me and my old man, ambushed the airforce sprogs, who were on a training course at the back of our farm, many moons ago..
      All we could afford was a bucket of over ripe peaches..
      But still better than “Bullets Bullets Bullets”..
      They lost a lot of men that afternoon, good men..🤣🤣

  • @richardward2469
    @richardward2469 10 місяців тому

    Hello Rhys, I remember working with you on wrecked in Fiji 💖I was a dolly grip.

  • @zosowon
    @zosowon 2 роки тому +4

    so if i ran up to a army guy from new zealand i could point a fake gun and say bullets bullets bullets and he would know what i meant? lmao

  • @xomniacpictures
    @xomniacpictures 7 місяців тому +1

    So NZ airforce training was theater camp? Love that

  • @mathewfoster7027
    @mathewfoster7027 Рік тому +1

    I threw wadded up foil balls lightning bolt!lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!

  • @goodshipkaraboudjan
    @goodshipkaraboudjan 9 місяців тому +1

    Funnily enough the Skyhawks actually came from Australia after HMAS Melbourne was sold.

  • @zaynevanday142
    @zaynevanday142 2 роки тому +5

    I joined in 1992 as a 16 year old 1 year too early 😂 I was still at high school

  • @bubik04
    @bubik04 Рік тому +1

    This video is my comfort thing. Anytime when I'm in a bad mood I watch this video then everything going to be better. Thank you Mr Darby that you exist!
    But I have only one question: Why do you say "bullets bullets bullets" against "pew-pew-pew"? Is it for because "bullets" could any type of bullet?

  • @zaynevanday142
    @zaynevanday142 2 роки тому +10

    Remember the time they sent us to Bosnia without proper Armour 😂 there was a shit storm in Parliament over that 😂

  • @michaelahsin2187
    @michaelahsin2187 4 роки тому +17

    That’s true, everything on a budget

    • @Beveck1
      @Beveck1 4 роки тому +1

      Its not true fuck off

    • @jcom3837
      @jcom3837 3 роки тому +2

      @@Beveck1 it’s true

  • @mariamforsmark509
    @mariamforsmark509 2 роки тому +2

    This is brilliant!! 😂

  • @graham6132
    @graham6132 6 місяців тому

    The New Zealand army now consists of a man in a room with a telephone, who goes: “Hello, is this America?”

  • @izzyspell2629
    @izzyspell2629 2 роки тому +2

    That just sounds like summer camp

  • @TheManCone
    @TheManCone 7 місяців тому

    As a kid watching the army in t.v. use laser tag style attachments and gear to train...18 yrs old one week of field training where you sit around with a rubber gun with a flashlight taped to the end of it, and a third of your squadmates are carrying wooden cut outs.

  • @Degenevesting
    @Degenevesting Рік тому +1

    Best airforce roast from an army vet 😂😂😂

  • @mel6938
    @mel6938 2 роки тому +1

    I love that he makes himself laugh too hes sof funny

  • @jameskellard5075
    @jameskellard5075 Рік тому

    Brilliant

  • @crystalskullsucked
    @crystalskullsucked 2 роки тому +10

    This was great- lame crowd tho

  • @jacobroscoe6433
    @jacobroscoe6433 2 роки тому +3

    Thankfully the military is a thousand times better now that the budget has raised a couple billion dollars we have helicopter/plain simulators and the army now trains with blanks and real ammunition alot of the time

  • @admiredelta2740
    @admiredelta2740 4 роки тому +1

    #RNZAF, *Raises hand*
    I am going in. XD

  • @bme9092
    @bme9092 2 роки тому +1

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, One Ha for every bullet 😂

  • @steviiekixx
    @steviiekixx 3 роки тому +8

    audience sucks, great set

  • @kore5080
    @kore5080 10 місяців тому +1

    Sounds a lot like the Canadian army at that time.

  • @Aloockhard
    @Aloockhard Рік тому +2

    it is so cute it should be illegal 😂❤

  • @rob1399
    @rob1399 2 роки тому

    Steyr AUGs rock

  • @user-vs7to2gk8k
    @user-vs7to2gk8k 4 роки тому +1

    hi russel

  • @zaynevanday142
    @zaynevanday142 2 роки тому

    We got our APC’s M113’s and Helicopters as well thanks USA

  • @thisisjamsomewhere
    @thisisjamsomewhere 2 роки тому

    😂 😂😂

  • @nomesy81
    @nomesy81 2 роки тому +2

    Is it a man? Or a bush?

  • @portillamail
    @portillamail Рік тому +1

    A bit too tight? Old people can't wear those pants

  • @joenicholls4658
    @joenicholls4658 4 роки тому +4

    I am 14 and I live in New Zealand but I want to move to the US and join the USAF

  • @WHANAUPEACE
    @WHANAUPEACE 4 роки тому +4

    Its ALL TRUE!!! LOL!!!

    • @Beveck1
      @Beveck1 4 роки тому

      Lmao this is fucking lies

    • @jcom3837
      @jcom3837 3 роки тому

      @@Beveck1 all true

  • @jamiehamilton6887
    @jamiehamilton6887 2 роки тому

    our school slogan then was the army should be doing raffles for bombs and it did seem a waste of money whatever the government was giving them when there was no war

  • @Beveck1
    @Beveck1 4 роки тому

    Lies

    • @mikk.
      @mikk. 3 роки тому +10

      He legit said “some of this isn’t true”