MY STILLBIRTH STORY | the impossible choice
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Today after almost two years I choose to share my stillbirth story. What lead us to losing our baby, the impossible decisions that we had to make. This video was hard for me to share, I’m so nervous but I wanted to share it in hopes that maybe it could help someone else who has also been through this and to shed some light on stillbirth for pregnancy and infant loss month
You did what a mother does. You did what was best for your child. My heart aches for your pain.
I still birthed my baby boy 18/10/2022 💔
Amy I want to hug you. I'm so very sorry sweetie. You are BRAVE for sharing your story. I am proud of you!
There are good things that will happen in your near future. Much love sweetie to you and your family.
As a bereavement nurse in Perinatal I believe that every decision is made for each family. Sending hugs to you and your family
Thank you for the comment and for the work you do 💜
I can't imagine having to go though all of that. You are so brave to share your story.
I pray you have had your rainbow baby since then. God bless you and your husband.
So heartbreaking. Very sorry for your loss. As a heart mom to a toddler with a very complex CHD, I want to give hope to others. After a series of 4 open heart surgeries, my son is a vibrant, smart, loving, energetic 3 year old. He now has normal oxygen levels and normal circulation. He is expected to live a normal life now. It’s been tough for us as parents, but of course would do anything for him.
That’s amazing! There is definitely tons and tons of children out there thriving with CHDs. This video is just my story and unfortunately for us our son had 7 CHDs and no amount of surgeries was going to save him. Every situation is different. So happy for you and your son!
Even tho I didn’t lost my baby I understand your feeling. When they did my anatomical ultrasound the first doctor told me he found a mejor heart defect and that he cannot find the kidneys. They did a bunch of test including an amniocentesis and it came back normal, another suggestion was to terminate the pregnancy as well, I was heartbroken. For some reason I always had a feeling the diagnosis was wrong so I looked for a second opinion. I saw cardiologists and they did confirm a heart defect however it was minor and the most common and it was going to be fixed with surgery. The second doctor ordered an MRI to find the kidneys and thankfully he found them, they were at the right place and nothing wrong with them. My baby was born prematurely and spent some time at the niccu and then had heart surgery at 4 months. Now she is 2 and half years old and even tho we have to be followed very closely by doctors she is thriving. But I would never forget the pain, the trauma and the depression that first anatomical ultrasound caused.
My granddaughter was born sleeping at 40 weeks. I know the pain. I admire your decision and think you made the right choice for him. I hope you are doing well.
Beth Louden I’m so sorry sorry you lost your granddaughter. It’s just such an awful thing losing a child or grandchild.
Thank you for your kind words💕
@@amybaker8871 im sorry love are yoi okay now?..yoir pregnant again right?..
I.lost my precious son in prrgnancy too.. im miserable.
My mom had a baby before me, so my brother but I never met him, who was born with major heart problems and some other problems I can't remember. This was before ultrasounds so they didn't even know anything was wrong until he was born. He had heart surgery at 3 days old and if he had survived it, he was going to have very difficult health problems the rest of his short lifetime. My mom didn't pray for him to survive. She prayed for him to not suffer, whatever outcome that meant. I cant say I know how you feel because I never will. But I will say, having plenty of conversations with her, I personally think you made the right decision. I'm sure it was the hardest one you've ever made and I'm so very sorry for that. I'm so sorry your loss, too. I hope you're doing better now ❤
Your poor mother, I’m grateful for technology and medical advances that we have now for so many reasons! Thank you so much for you’re comment 💜
@@amybaker8871 you're very welcome ❤
I’m so sorry for your loss it’s so very sad xx be strong and remember that your not at fault be strong and remember to try again because you’re meant to be a mummy xxx lots of love and support for you and your family xxxxxxxxxxx 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌼🌼☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Please know, you are still a momma. Sweet Calvin is in heaven thanking you for ending his suffering.
Very sad story. My sister had a loss of a baby many years ago and I know she still thinks about that baby. You are very brave to tell your story. Take care and God Bless.
Jeanine Keating it’s definitely rough. Something that’s hard to comprehend!
So sorry to hear about your sister, send her my way if she ever needs an open ear... you know where I’m at! 💕💕
There's a channel called 'Still a part of us' all about experiences similar to yours.
My ❤️Is with you! My daughter Lori passed away at age 2 of a brain tumor. It was before social media and there wasn’t much support out there. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s helped me and I’m sure it’s helped others. Hugs to you!❤️
So sorry to hear about your daughter Lori, thank you for your comment 💕
I’m sorry for your loss. I just commented something similar. I’ve found, if used correctly, the internet and social media can be a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, at the time of our loss, personal accounts of loss were not readily available online.
While I’m so, so sad Amys_ttcjourney had to experience such a loss, I hope she knows just how much her story will help other families. Navigating a loss can be a very lonely time. Understanding and support are everything...xx
I lost five pregnancies between my two children ranging from a 13week through a 5 month loss. You really hit what it is like. the isolation is awful. I wish you luck in the future. big hugs
Thank you so much! I’m so sorry for all your loses, all those babies, I bet you think of them often! I like to think that all of our lost baby’s are together somewhere in an afterlife.
Thank you so much 💕
I’m so sorry for your losses 💐🕊
❤I lost mine at 15 weeks with my mother-in-law making crude remarks as I came back from the hospital… awful.
That was the 90’s. I have never spoken about it. It’s such a tabu subject….
You are so very brave.
H H I don’t know about that but thank you💕💕💕
No, you are brave hunny. So very sorry 💐🕊🇬🇧
Thanks for sharing this! ❤️ You did what you felt was the right thing to do for your baby and I support you for that. ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. You have helped so many loss momma's by sharing your story.
In July 2020, my partner and I decided to interrupt a very much wanted pregnancy at 23+5 due to a severe brain defect. It was the most heartbreaking decision and we miss her so incredibly much. I think the role of parents is to make difficult decisions for child, even if that means a lifelong of heartache for them. Since going through this journey, I periodically watch videos like this to feel less alone. My FAVOURITE part is when loss parents talk about the first time they see their babies. I swear their faces light right up, just like yours did when you said how perfect Calvin was. He's incredibly lucky to have strong parents like you.
Wishing you the very best, and baby dust xox
The sweetest comment! Made my day💕
I’m soo sorry that you also went through this, I know and understand how hard it is. I hope that you are doing okay considering. That first year is so so so hard. Sending you so much love. What did you name your baby girl? I bet she was beautiful 🥰
@@amybaker8871 her name is Grace 🤍thank you for asking
I’m so sorry that happened to you. May God bless you and give you peace. You did the best you could. ♥️
Your honesty is so moving. I have no idea what I would do but I know moms always always do what is best for their baby. And that is different for everyone Thank you for sharing Calvin and your love for him.
I am so sorry for your loss - sending love and comfort and if this is any consolation I would have made the same decision.
Thank you💕
I’m so incredibly sorry 😢. You’re absolutely right that you did the right thing for your family .
I’m very sorry about what you went through. I know you loved and longed for this baby very much.💜
Sally Anderson thank you! 💕
You recount this absolutely devastating medical news with great bravery. I’m sorry this happened to you.
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. You are courageous and I agree with you that the choice you made was the right one for you and your family. Stay strong, all the best to you.
barbtries thank you!!!
While I would have done things a little different myself you did what you thought was best for your sweet little one and I admire your honesty and courage to talk about such a sensitive topic to people I’m truly sorry for your loss I can’t imagine what that must feel like I’m sure your little one felt nothing but love from his mother you are so very brave to talk about this with people my condolences 💐 prayers 🙏 and blessings to your family sweetheart much love and virtual hugs coming your way
I'm so sorry I feel your pains, I've lost 8 pregnancies one much further along Pandora ❤️ I'm sending love and light, angel mamas are warriors I wouldn't have gotten by if it wasn't for an angel mom's group I joined, the support was beautiful, I hope life has brought blessings, this life is surely a journey filled with hurt but also blessings, love to you sister
my daughter friend has half a heart she was 6 month in the hospital but she survive she's 30 years old now she's married and have a baby she has to take like 9 pills a day for her heart
OMG 23.30 when you said you didn't want to meet him, an orb flew past you. He is there with you. So sorry for you loss XX
You are a warrior. You’re a mother who made the best decision for Calvin you could. You’re so brave. You and your husband.
she had like 3 open heart surgery
I am so sorry I am sure it was hard for you
So sorry for you loss.
Lizard me thanks you💕
Brave lady 😢
I am really sorry it is very hard because doctors told me my son would not breath or survive he came out breathing i was 24 weeks and he is now 13 sometimes doctors are not right. God bless
A heart condition in this case overrides a baby born at 24 weeks.
You got very lucky.
We all make the decisions we need to make in our lives regarding our children, as minors.
My adult daughter is making her decision to birth her child alone at home with her husband….
No ultrasound, no doptone no oxygen mask, no clotting in case she bleeds too much. Nothing.
It’s controversial, and yet I have to respect her decision.
Let’s hope that June 2024 will bring good results.
I knw how u feeling.Losing a baby Is not easy.I lost my baby at 03/01/2020.gave birth and her heartbeat stopped.leaving the hospital without a baby itz the worst thing ever.May God be with u our babies are in a better place and yes God is gona bless us with children in due time keep the faith Dear 🙏
My son was stillborn 30th. May. 2019 at 40weeks...Very horrible experience!! May our little angels rest in perfect peace. 💖. Am pregnant again and every minute is a blessing.
@@nurushamilamugide3822 can I ask what cause it ? my girl is pregnant at 38 weeks the baby has a good heartbeat and she moves atleast 10 times a day but times I get paranoid.
The doctors told me that my son will be born with disabilitys but I trusted God and my son was born very normal .The doctors don’t always know .We have to trust God and Virgin Marry.
Oh my heart...sending you and your husband hugs and prayers. We had losses years back, as well. At the time, I couldn’t find much online. Your story is helping so many families.
Unless you go through it, the heartache is unimaginable.
I subscribed and am now following your story. I’ll be so happy to see you and your husband holding your baby! Thank you for sharing! xx
Hi Amy
I came across Your story and I am aware that this video is 4 years old . First of all I am very sorry for the loss of Your son and hope You are better now. But, let's be more clear on the terminology and I will explain why. The title of Your video should have been " My 22 week ABORTION story". My reasons for saying this are the following:
1 It sounds that You are a pro choicer and also given that You gave an informed consent to the delivery You should clearly know that it's categorized as an abortion. If that's are Your views than You should be loud and very clear about what exactly You stand for.
2 Not stating clearly what You had in the title can be triggering for people. For example I would not watch Your video since I'm 100 percent pro lifer ( not for religious reasons ) and it can also be a trigger for parents whose children died a natural and unexpected death in utero .And yes. I am aware that Your son would not survive in the outside world , is that it's just the fact that he was able to live inside and he should have had the right to live out his natural life as he would have in case he was considered compatible with life and things would go wrong during or after delivery for instance. In that case he would be protected by law and his life could not have been shortened depending on anyone's wishes.
I am glad though that You very clearly respect choices of people who continued their pregnancies and don't devalue them or their children as do many who claim they are P,' but actually only support abortions in part to not feel alone in their decisions.
I wish You and Your family the best of luck
It says so much about the compassionate person you are, that you considered how the doctor was feeling telling you bad news . You are the first woman I've heard say this.
My daughter is a nurse, doing a masters in pallative care, which is why we're watching a variety of videos here on UA-cam .
Thank you for sharing your devastating experience, i am so sorry for your loss 💔 wishing you and your husband Cory all the very best for the future. 💓 xx
Thank you! I work in healthcare to, so I know what it’s like being in the system. Days like that are not easy for anyone💜
I cannot imagine your pain and the strength it took you to get through this. I am sorry you felt you had to justify your very personal decision to others. I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you 💜
At 23:32 an orb goes across your face. 😇 Our son passed at 23 weeks. I see orbs all the time. May God give you the strength to get through this.
Karen Gaviria so sorry to hear that, it happens way too much, what was his name?
thank you so much 💕
@@amybaker8871 it's crazy because it's true, people don't speak much about it infant lost. My baby boys name is Vyven Lee he was born March 18,2019. I got pregnant with the IUD. He was growing perfectly and one day he was just taken from us. He was born sleeping. 5 hours prior his heart was beating . I was having contractions but was sent home because it wasn't serious. We held him for 10 hours after birth. I'm still in shock. I'm 4 months pregnant right now with our Rainbow baby #2. Everyday is scary. 🙏🏻
Karen Gaviria wow I’m so sorry! How nice you got to spend that much time with him 💕
I don’t imagine that being pregnant again is easy. Sending you all my love and support
@@amybaker8871 is very very hard. It was my husbands first child. He doesn't want to give up on your dream of being pregnant. It's bittersweet. But a blessing. I appreciate the reaching out
I saw it too
You give your baby every minute and every hour. It’s not up to you to cause your baby’s death. It’s murder.
Do you really think you’re doing “god’s duty” by commenting on people’s videos who have suffered a terrible and unimaginable loss to make them feel worse about it? Is that what god would want you to do, shame women on the internet who are already extremely hurt and heartbroken? Does this help you sleep better at night? Find something better to do. You are a bully and an evil human being.
What an awful thing to say. She did what she felt was good for her.
The right thing to do, is always let God decide. I'm very sorry for your loss.
You don’t decide what’s right or wrong because it is NOT your situation. This woman suffered a devastating loss and chose to make a decision that was right for her and her child. Who are you to judge her? How back handed of you to apologize for her loss after criticizing her. Take your religious views somewhere else. You are not helping anyone with this comment. Your intention was to be judgmental. Find other things to do than to try to hurt people further who have already been hurt enough.
How do you think God would feel about your comment? Do you think it was "the right thing" to say something like that to someone who went through a very heartbreaking, traumatic experience that you know nothing about and have no right to judge her on? Isn't there a saying about only God can judge...
Kathryn DON'T WATCH THEM WOW KATHRYN
Would you say that to an infertile couple? Wow Lady, Just wow.
Quit Judging. You don't decide what's right for anyone but yourself. Why even post this? How cruel.
Yet JUST ANOTHER ONE OF ‘those’ STORIES, DONT BOTHER ANYONE!
What exactly do you mean with this comment??