Could you live in the same house as your ex? That’s the topic at the table during this Girl Chat. Watch the clip and tell us what you think in the comments.
+Ellen Benoit Yup, Tamar had a really healthy perspective on this. I think it's not good to ever be set on one way or another.. what you decide doesn't get determined until you're in the situation and assess it right then n there. Otherwise I think there are so many pros and cons to both sides that there's definitely no "right" answer for every situation. It looks like Adrienne would've actually "preferred" her parents to split but I know other people who were devastated by just that. It also depends a lot on the kids' personalities etc. like I know kids who were messed up over their parents' split but I kinda hated how mine stayed together like Jeannie's parents did so I'm personally with Adrienne but that definitely doesn't work for every kid
Exactly!! In this case, I think it would have been better or fairer for Adrienne not to say she disagreed but that her experience was different from Jeannie’s. Because this type of situation isn’t just cut and dry. What works well for one may not work well for others, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work altogether.
IKR!!!! I can only watch them at 1:00am on Saturday because im in school when it comes at 10:00am and I go to sleep early Mon-Thurs so this is the only way I can watch it
In all honesty, I'm not even surprised that Jeannie's parents would go to such lengths to keep their children happy. From the stories that Jeannie tells, her parents were ALWAYS ready to sacrifice for the children! They're truly amazing in my opinion 👏👏👏
The story she told about her dad getting food, and wouldn't eat just so the kids were able to eat still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. Her parents seem really great.
Tamar was saying that your kid shouldnt see you get hit by your spouse and divorce would be the right choice in that case. Vince was apparently abusive and she had to get a divorce in the end.
Wow I have to say. Jeannie's parents seem like exceptional people. Every time she talks about them, I am always impressed by the level of sacrifice they are willing to go through for their kids' happiness.
Jeannie' parents put their kids first. She has said before, they were poor, like REAL poor. Maybe they could not afford to move out. But after sharing her side, it just seems they did not want their kids to be upset. They may not have loved each other anymore but they loved their kids more. They did what parents had to do.
Ehh... My parents stayed together even though they were unhappy supposedly because of the kids, but all it did was make them bitter and fight all the time. Yeah, that kinda didn't help me and my view of relationships.
Yeah I totally disagree w this. You can still work together as co-parents & teach your children their parents love & respect each other as their parents regardless of splitting. Why teach a child a marriage is an empty shell of a broken relationship you have to stay in for the kids?
I actually agree with Adrienne's point of view "happy parents, happy kids" but the way she looked down at Jeannie's experience was not ok "that is not a good example of what a marriage should be" there are ways of expressing your opinion without disrespecting others.
+Elle Plow Plow yea that pissed me off alot of things work for someone and don't work for others just because it don't work for you doesn't mean you have to bring everyone else down
I think that Adrienne was coming from the childs perspective and she was saying that as a child, growing up in a loveless home is worse that 2 people staying together for the kids. Jeannie says it's okay but it might be one of the underlying reasons she does not want children.
Living physically UNDER a BROKEN MARRIAGE can result or repeat to a bad marriage for the children.. So if there's no longer LOVE, RESPECT, BOND between the parents , SEPARATE!!
Adrienne was too personal in this segment. I didn't like her judgmental tone especially AFTER Jeanie shared her parents story, it's like she was saying mama Mai did a bad job not leaving but like Tamar said until you have kids you don't know what you will do.
I'm not judging Adrienne, reading is fundamental. What I said was her tone and how she addressed her opinion was very insensitive given her supposed FRIEND had just revealed her parents stayed together for the children. I don't care if she said a million times "this is just my opinion" it doesn't negate that what she said was insensitive to Jeannie. Adrienne literally said parents who stay for the kids are setting such a bad example to their kids", so pretty much Jeannie your parents set a bad example for you. Um excuse me but you don't know my experience so how dare you make that comment literally right after i shared that my mother and father stayed for the kids. It's common sense which Adrienne lacked in this case.
***** Nope I think she said her truth,not taking out what jeanne said,but why can she say what she passed thru ??? why is everyone so sensitive??? the girl said it's her opinion why can't she say what she feel? isn't it called the real??? everybody act like if Jeannie is a baby,my sister has kids and she divorced because he cheated on her,and know my niece is 17 and a strong independent women with no need of that bastard.... so my sister should stay with a man that was horrible for her and her kids???? get the hell out of here,i'm still with Adrienne on this one,i don't think you should stay with someone for your kids but if you want to go ahead. to each its own,i don't think everybody should go all off on a girl that had her point of view, because she lived it,you guys sound insensitive yourselves.
+Dani Rican it's not what you say it's how you say it. Emphasizing that any parents that stay together are setting a bad example to their kids AFTER Jeannie shared her personal family story was insensitive. It's not rocket science.
Jeez. That comment Adrienne made about Jeannie's parents was extremely rude. As an adult you should learn to drop your opinions diplomatically, and not throw it bluntly in people's faces. Glad Jeannie was mature enough to overlook it, and glad the rest of the panel stood up for her.
me too, she basically had her entire childhood attacked. Adrienne's point made sense but she was being insensitive, and saying "just my opinion" doesn't make that okay
I don't think it was EXTREMELY rude. But I get what you're saying. The way she said it was a little too blunt. I think in Adrienne's mind though, she knew that Jeannie could handle her opinion, but even so, it doesn't mean she should have said it as harsh as she did.
Right it was pretty rude imo, her experience wasn't yours Adrienne so of course you wouldn';t understand lmao. I understood what she was saying cause she was giving her perspective but she didn't have to be so blunt about it. I'm glad Tamar and Tamera kinda had jeannies back
I love Adrienne but the way she looked down on Jeannie's experience was super annoying. Just because your experience was shitty doesn't mean it's like that for everyone.
Tiny Tee yeah if you notice now she changed her mind, on another video she said that none of her brothers wants to get married or have kids and she thinks that might be the reason 🤷🏽♀️
Yes ma'am. I remember those first two seasons of BFV where Tamar was ridiculous and use to scream to the heavens about how her sisters were fools for staying with their husbands. But she has grown and seen the light and I wish Adrienne would hurry up and get married and have kids so that she could become wise as well as to what they're saying
+tiffany matsvai She said several times "In my opinion". People can have different opinions and she understands that. Her opinion comes from her experience, just like Jeannie's comes from hers.
+Jayme Sigler yes she did. And I think the other host saw that too. That it is her opinion. I think this is one of their best girl chats yet. They didn't scream or yell over each other too much. And they were all understanding of each other's opinions.
I feel bad for Jeannie sometimes cause I get what she's trying to say but she gets undermine. I also get what Adrienne is trying to saying but she seems really insensitive to Jeannie's experience. Everyone's experiences are not the same. I use to judge it too cause that's how my aunt/uncle marriage is, but as I got older I realized that's what works for them and their kids especially since one of their kids has autism. Not everyone is the same. Some parents can deal being in that situation and be fine/not depressed just as some kids can deal with that too and still know the value of love. If anything it shows just how much both parents love their kids if they're willing to put up with each other to give their kids the best life they can if it's a healthy environment. We're all built differently.
+GarLyndia Ford Yeah same, it was really condescending when she put her hand on Jeannie's back and tried to act like Jeannie was speaking crazy and shocked that Jeannie still had a good experience. She made it sound as if Jeannie's parents or parents who do this were bad parents/role models, which I'm glad Tamar and Tamera checked her on even if she still wasn't really comprehending cause she was only focusing on her experience.
Exactly. And that's why I felt like Adrienne was so immature and ignorant here. You have to see it from another perspective, not just one that is your own.
Adrienne act like everyone's household is like hers. Some couples find they are better as friends and just stay living together and take care of their kids. Some things work for some and not for others. Why disrespect Jeannie' s story.
Dana Flamenco everybody was talking about an experience from the parents perspective. Adrienne was talking about from a child’s perspective. Most kids wouldn’t be that affected by their parents divorcing
TBH I don't think theres a right or wrong. Theres pros and cons to both. Adrienne has lived it so her opinion/feelings can't be disregarded. Clearly her experience was different to Jenie. End of day we don't know what happens behind closed doors so she aint gonna tell all on TV lool
Yeah, I don't like the idea that just because she isn't a parent yet her opinion isn't valid. She's isn't claiming to know what the best way to parent your kid through a separation is, She's just saying as a kid who grew up in that environment it's really dysfunctional. Kids aren't stupid, they know when their parents are going through tough times and it's a hard thing to watch your parents go through.
Valerie Karina totally agree. I definitely see both points of view. Just because she isn’t a parent, doesn’t mean her point is not valid. Children receive the foundation of how everything should be based of their parents. Just a straight fact. They’ll go on to mirror that later in life. So, I’m in agreement with Adrienne. It may work for some parents. However, staying in a loveless marriage and living together for the sake of the child is something they will pass on to their children and their childrens’ children. Parents teach the example of how a relationship should be. On the flip side, you don’t want to disappoint your child and be around them every day. So you may not want to be around that person but you want to be around your child. Again, it could work but is that the example of a relationship Btwn a mom and dad is what you want to set for your little one? Everyone had valid points
I don't think Adrienne understood. They're not faking a marriage or faking being in love for their kids, they're just living together to raise them and not have the kids bounce back and forth between homes, there's no arguing over custody, who gets the kids on what holidays. That's really all they're tryna prevent.
What Adrienne is saying is that yea the parents think they are doing what their kids want by staying as one family, but in reality the kids KNOW that the parents are not together anymore so therefore they are not happy anymore with each other and for the kids to think that their parents are staying together just to please their hearts hurts for the children. So ultimately that concept is actually whats making the kids unhappy, thats if they realise whats going on.
+Amnesian Bro but Adrienne said that this is showing them the wrong idea of what a marriage is supposed to be. Clearly assuming that they're planning on staying married for the sake of the kids. But they're not, they're just living in the same household. For all we know this could be exactly what they're happy doing. Maybe they're still friends.
+VONiiE8 I get Adrienne's point tho. You don't wanna show a child that a relationship is staying with someone who makes you miserable. kids may or may not get the details of staying married vs just living together, but they can see the misery and that's not a good look.
+VONiiE8 Yea they do. depending on age, but generally kids understand more than we think I agree. well if the parents are happy its a great situation. But if they're miserable (like Adrienne's parents) then I agree that separation may be better than a hostile environment. as we said, kids understand a lot and that can take an emotional toll on them
I definitely remember when Tamar on BFV rolled her neck, 360 degrees and said, "I don't need to have kids to understand", "I don't need to have kids to understand" 😂😂😂
I think it's important to teach children how to end relationships in a HEALTHY way with clear boundaries. Exes who co-habitate need to be intentional in the way they go about it.
Agreed....you made the most mature comment here. Everyone involved should be happy and healthy. As long as there is respect and a genuine interest in putting the kids first, communication and respecting each other. Both parents should be able to co-parent in a healthy way while still maintaining separate lives, whether living together or separate. I just think it's healthy to be honest with the kids.
+underwaterseas I remember Vanessa Williams was on Oprah's lifeclass and she said she had both of her ex-husbands Ramon Hervey and Rick Fox living in her house.
I completely agree with Adrienne on this one!!! people act lke you can't be divorced and be great parents to your child like you have to stay married!!!
I find Tamars ability to incorporate new terms like "party people" so naturally in her conversation that I start saying party people in my convos lmaooo i'll be at my local library and going "hEY MY PARTY PEOPLE WHATS GOOD!!!!" and they escort me out.... but still damn she's the linguistic queen! SHE DID THAT!
I absolutely agree with Adrienne. I experienced the same. I think parents underestimate a child's ability to interpret things. They can tell when things are not going right and when the parents don't really get along. It is the worst example of what a real marriage should be. Even to the mom's that stay with the father because of financial reasons. It can distort their views on love and discourage the thought of marriage. Who knows if that's the reason adrienne has had problems with her relationships (not saying it is). I'll be homeless before I live miserably with someone I don't like anymore or has done me wrong.
+Elizabeth Taylor I see what you and Adrienne are saying, but that can't be applied to EVERY other situation like that in general. Circumstances vary. Surely some couples could make it work. There are couples out there who are perfectly happy, even though they aren't in love with each other. George Hamilton (from the Godfather) and his ex-wife are a good example of this. They got married, had kids, got a divorce, and they still live together as best friends and they consider each other soul mates. I agree with you that if the parents aren't happy, they shouldn't be together, but all couples who divorce aren't necessarily unhappy. I think Tamera had the right idea: Do what's best for you and your family
+Jennifer Humphries I feel strongly about it like adrienne does because I experienced it. So i guess every situation is different. I could never do that.
+Elizabeth Taylor Yeah, it depends. My parents divorced when I was 9 and I was happy about it just like Adrienne. But I cant associate my experience with everyone else's and say "oh, that's a bad idea, you shouldn't be doing that". I just wanted to point out that not all people who get divorced hate each other or are miserable around each other. There are people who can still be genuinely happy and fulfilled and live together after a divorce and they aren't "faking" it. It's possible.
For me I literally thought that that’s what a marriage was for the longest. It’s sad but I thought wedding rings were just things you saw on tv. And I was shooook when I saw at the age of 21, my friends parents happily married. I was like that’s weird.
I agree with Tamar and Tamera on this one. There's a reason why I refuse to have kids out of wedlock. Marriage and parenting in a HUGE responsibility I'm not willing to take if my partner isn't 100% sure they want to be with me for a long time.
Exactly i never knew how much my parents mariage affected me because of the way i was raised in that mariage... I was afraid to commit because i was afraid to go through the same thing in my relationship...
I think the sense of having two parents together can be comforting to some kids. Working as coparents is different from faking a relationship. I respect Adrienne's opinion but she was extremely insensitive to Jeannie with her comment "setting a bad example to your kids about how marriage should be"... Don't come for her parents. I felt for Jeannie in this clip cause she seemed so proud that her parents set aside their differences and then Adrienne pulled that :/
I'm with Tamera and Jeannie on this one. It depends on your circumstances and the two adults maturaity level. Some people can handle a co-habitation situation. I also understand Adrienne's point as well. If the two parents are toxic togther, then they don't need to be near each other at all. Kids are very smart and they generally know before the adults, no matter how you think you're hiding something from your kids, they already know. Heck, sometimes the kids can get the adults together with their honesty LOL.
At college I actually studied what Jeanie is talking about. Many studies found that in eastern cultures they are more concerned about the family more than themselves so they stay together to keep the family together, whereas in wetern cultures we put ourselves as individuals first, so will break up the household. Not saying its right but its really interesting that its happens in Asian families that live in the West.
Unlike the US, other countries are more "collective". Meaning they value their community and family more. While here in the US, we tend to be more "individualistic". We rather put ourselves first than others. I agree with your comment.
It's weird how Adrienne's point of view was perceived as her judging how parents raise their children. She was just explaining how she felt as the child in the whole situation when she was younger, while the moms explained from a parent's point of view. Often times, children know more than you think. I think both points of view should be considered. I don't know about co-habiting being the best decision but co-parenting where both parents are involved with the child as often as they can or equally, seems better.
I totally agree with Adrienne at least on the one point. BEING the child gives you a LOT of insight into good and bad parenting because you see the effects it has on the child, which is the most important part. You don't have to be a parent to understand certain things. We may not understand WHY a parent does something or what they're thinking, but we can understand what happens because of it and really that's all that matters, because parenting is not about the parents, it's about the kids.
Adrienne starting to work my nerves. The way she was touching Jeannie in the middle of her speaking- so patronising. If that worked for Jeannie's family then who is she to say thats a bad example?!
yeah. i didn't like when she was like "well that was your experience I'm talking about mine not yours" ummmm...so Jeannie can't continue to voice her thoughts the same way you do? She was annoying today & kinda rude.
She was beyond annoying. I usually love Adrienne but she was bitter Betsy in this segment. She needs to let other people speak on their experiences. She got way too personal and too rude towards Jeannie. I would've clapped back if I were Jeannie
AGREE with all of ya'll. What works for one family may not work for others. With traditional Asian families, they're very concerned about providing for their children. If that means faking the marriage until the kids are grown enough to understand and accept divorce, so be it!
+sugarspiceunlimited Agree 100% Adrienne is the most immature on the panel and was def acting like it. How did she not understand people, families, marriages are different? uggggghhhhh she was extra extra patronising to Jeannie.
shafali begum yea I think Jeanie Deff over played this one. Especially how she talks about her mother and just seeing how her mother is. I doubt it was rainbows and butterflies
my parents got divorce 7 years ago, but they should of gotten divorce when I was child. There marriage was not healthy. My father treated my mother like crap.
+Nina Cubana Well my mum is happy that she doesn't have to deal with my dad's cheating ass. I don't know if my dad is still happy with his side chick baby mama.
I'm actually proud of Adrienne on this one. She's always looked at as the "bandwagon" but she really stood up for what she believed. Yes she may have worded it in a way where it was offensive but she sure did not do it intentionally. Get it Ade.
THIS WAS MY SITUATION FOR SO LONG my parents HATED each other from the time I was 10 and I knew it and I hated the fact that they stayed together for my sister and myself. They'd always fight I mean ALWAYS fight and it was one of those things where it was rare for them to not be fighting. They'd put us in their adult situations and also in their relationship and that's why I know what Adrienne means. It was terrible growing up in a house with parents who hated each other and feeling like I had to always choose one over the other. Now that I'm older and my mom just recently left IT WAS SO RELIEVING it wasn't hard at all. I remember begging them to get a divorce when I was 11 because I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't even focus in school. I had my own problems but I had no one to talk to because they were so involved with themselves and arguing. So I do agree with Adrienne where she said it's not a good example of a healthy marriage, and honestly I don't know what a healthy marriage or any relationship looks like. So I feel alone but I know other people are either going through or have been through this too. But if they are TRULY happy with that living arrangement then I see no problems with it
You literally described my life only difference is that they still together and just physically fought last week. I grew up with the fighting and then saying theyre just together cuz its a marriage and fights are normal and to stay for my sister and i but honestly im tired of the fighting like are you really gonna be 70 years old and look back at your life and be happy you wasted all that time miserable putting on a show for your kids???? And same, idk how to be in a relationship idk whats healthy idk. And look at amber portwood, she watched her parents fight and she exposed that to her daughter as well, thats not okay.
+Angelise Totally agree, I'm sorry you still have to deal with this you shouldn't have to at all. I mean I can remember my parents fighting since I was 2 but I didn't know they hated each other until I was about 10. They still fight sometimes which is ridiculous because they don't even live together but it's more my mom. I'm just glad I have some peace now, my sister and I are pretty messed up though and I do see a therapist once a week and I'm not going to say it's all because of how my parents raised me and the things I was exposed to. But that's a big part of why I go and it is helping but I just feel so upset that it had to come to this. I may not know what a healthy relationship looks like but I know what an unhealthy relationship looks like and I never want to be like my parents. I'd rather be separated and happy than be together and miserable.
I agree with Adrienne, I'm not going to live with him for the sake of the children. That is why to prevent such an awkward situation you choose carefully of who you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
+Michie Oo people honestly aren't taking this seriously enough. They might say "oh well you'll never really truly know EVERYTHING about somebody" but chile if you've been together long enough, nobody can fake a personality forever. Eventually you''ll see if that's the person you wanna marry. Then the choice is up to you.
I REALLY WANT TO MEET JEANNIE BC SHES SUCH AN INSPIRATION! I'm Asian and that is the SAME EXACT CIRCUMSTANCE as my parents. They dont really get a long, and they sleep in separate rooms etc. I'm only 19 years old and Its been this way for many years, but I believe no big moves of divorce have happened for the exact reasons Jeannie said.
Adrienne is absolutely right though. Kids are smart and they see a lot more than we think. My mother and father are similar to Adrienne's parents in the sense that I never saw them fight, but I just knew they were miserable. Luckily for family, they went to counselling and were able to resolve a lot of the issues in their marriage. However, I do remember my mother being so depressed and angry at one point that I just wished for them to get a divorce so that she could be happy. And also, as parents - it's our job to set an example for how our kids view relationships and love. You don't need to be happy 100% of the time, that's not realistic, but the arguing and the tension can make relationships seem so toxic and volatile that it just sets the wrong expectations and ideas for kids.
Hearing Tamar speak makes me glad and proud of how much she has grown from the early BFV days.. damn i remember when Tamar used to be on Gabe's lame ass and had an opinion on her sister's situationship. PS: stay slaying boo!
I agree!!!! You gotta do what makes you happy even if the kids hate the idea of mommy and daddy aren't together anymore, because when they get older you can always tell them why then they'll understand that if you aren't happy you gotta leave to finally be happy!!! My parents were the same way, they divorced when I was 13th and I hated it but it was when I was 15th that my mom told me and my siblings that when you aren't happy anymore you gotta think about your happiness not the kids because you'll grow up and see the difference between being happy and not being happy.. I'm now 19 and I see how happy my parents are with their spouses then when they where married to each other. My parents are better together as co-parents then parents together cause they don't fight anymore!
+Dani Rican me too! I would rather have my parents separate and happy then suffer and stay together for me. I actually agree with her, I think that it is bad example that you should stay in a loveless marriage
A breakup doesn't always mean to hate the other person, sometimes, the (love "pasion, sexual etc) is not there anymore, and there is another more fraternal feeling, like, I don't hate you, but I don't have to hang everyday like before, just each one with thier own lives, but seeing that our culture is used to "I hate you I don't want to see you again" is so immature, like, after they f**k the sh** out of you.. you are like, it never existed.. that's dumb lol
can i just say I HATE when people say well udk yet because u don't have a kid yet. like I'm still allowed to have personal feelings based off of my own experiences. we may parent differently. sheesh
+rocktokiohotel94 I get what u sayin but I wasn't referring to the specifics of the video. I agree things do change when u become a parent but there are also certain things that dont based off of experience before ur a parent.
I’m with Adrienne on this one.. I know as parents you try to do what’s best for your child and where they are at the time.. but kids grow up. And then we gotta deal with the complex developed watching the breakdown. Think of your child in the long term not hurting the 8yr old at the time
I'm with Adrienne. I went through the same thing she did. Being the kid in that situation is horrible. I felt emotional myself watching her explain herself. Being in a house with 2 parents who love you but barely speak to each other, always tension in the house and that kinda stuff is something I wouldn't wish for anyone. It's horrible.
No offense but I give this one to Jeanie because she's in a loving marriage whereas it could be assumed that Adrienne might be suffering from her childhood baggage when you see her relationships. No shade, just keeping it real.
Great girl chat! They ALL made sense! So basically at the end of the day I'm sure we can all agree and just say different strokes for different folks. Me personally, though I couldn't do it. And if we had kids (and since kids are smart) I feel they would know that something is wrong and feel the non genuineness happening and they truly wouldn't be happy.
I'm a hundred percent with Adrienne on this one. My parents got divorced when I was three. They maintained a pretty decent relationship afterward though but during their marriage with my mother's mental illness it was definitely the right thing to do. Kids are not stupid they can clearly see if their parents are upset.
+smharris9 That is ridiculous. People who make those arguments are shortsighted. MOST people base how they would raise their kids on how they were raised. The decisions you make come from the values and ideas you have about parenting before you had the child. Even a decision on whether or not to have a child is based on how many people feel about their own childhood. People think "Oh, my mom did this, I want to do this as well" or "I was not happy as a child when my parents did this, so I'll never do the same to my kids". The best reference point for how to raise your kids is by examining what you experienced as a child and seeing what worked and what didnt. That is how we try to do better than our parents did. That's a human trait of learning from what we have experienced and improving it. If you didnt have any notions on how you would raise your children from your own upbringing that is very strange.
It's a lot easier said than done. Kids of all ages, just want peace in their homes and their parents to be happy. If that's not going on, then it effects kids in a negative way. I agree with Tamera - it really depends on each family and relationships, and what works for them.
still don't see how Adrienne was looking down on Jeanie's opinion when she was speaking from her perspective. People aren't that bright if they can't understand that ppl can have a different opinion without being condescending or putting down someone else's opinion
I agree with Adrienne too. I was the child that was stuck in a home with unhappy parents. When the topic of divorce first came up, I was 11 years old and cried and begged my parents not to get a divorce. Now with my 20th birthday less than a week away, I tell my mother all the time to leave my father because he's not a good person. My mom sacrificed her happiness and all it did was hender ours as well. So staying is not always a great solution.
I feel you girl. When I was like 13, my parents were constantly fighting and my dad wasn't treating my mom right. I was actually the one who told my mom that she should leave my dad. Honestly, they were better off apart. 6 years later, they both moved on and they are both happier.
I feel you. I'm in that situation right now and I'm 18, on my way to 19. I've known for 10 years that my parents aren't in love anymore and want to get divorced, but I'm raised in an African household and divorce is kind of tabu and it's a sign of "failure". My parents wanted to get divorced a decade ago, but decided to stay together for us childrens sake. 10 years later and they are still arguing, hating each other etc but refuse to get divorced until my youngest sister turns 18, which is in 8 years. When I was younger, the thought of my parents not being together made me cry, but as you get older, all you want is them to be happy. As Adrienne said, happy parents = happy children. I adore their sacrifice, but I don't want to be 27 and know that since I was 9, my parents have hated each other but they stayed together for 18 years because they wanted us to be happy. I think that parents fail to listen to their children sometimes when they are trying to make their kids happy. It's sad.
I honestly see everyone's POV at the end of the day it all comes down to what you think is best...Tamar is right parenting is OJT and you just try to do what you think is best
I LOVE this panel of 5 AMAZING WOMEN! So many stories, so many different experiences, so many opinions!! Someone out there can relate to at least one of them!
Lmaooooooo Tamar is so crazy "Marriage is haaaaaaaaawdddddddd!"😭 But I'm glad to see how much having Logan has mentally and emotionally matured her. She seems so different now (in a good way) from her early Braxton Family Values days and I'm loving it.
+madeyoulook Yesss..she has matured a lot over the past few years. I went from loving her to disliking her, to loving her again. I am liking this Tamar..Still over the top, but I am not mad at that..she is funny.
I think its the most UNSELFISH thing for parents to put their kids FIRST ...and stay together to raise their kids to make the happy !..Its a sacrifice Adrienne....
+Arima Babe You can't really say that unless you've experienced that firsthand though. Yeah parents should put their kids first but that doesn't mean that they're selfish if they decide to split up. My parents divorced when I was a kid and they both remarried with other people and it was great, like they remained good friends and they were happy with their respective spouses, my dad and my step-dad are friends too, it's like i got two sets of parents. I think I'd rather them separate than stay together and be miserable or always arguing, at least this way everyone's happy.
I get the impression that the experience for her was not that great. Sometimes what you believe to be a sacrifice for the kids could actually cause kids more harm than it does good
I don't understand Adrienne though. At first she said she would only do it under the condition of having kids together and the house. Then she went on to say that she feels very strongly about the topic and that parents shouldn't do that. Love you Ade but you totally contradicted yourself.... I agree with Tamera & Tamar on this one, if you have no kids you wouldn't get it but at the same time to each their own. Every child, parent, family is different and parents know what is best for their kids & family.
But little do you know, your young children would rather see the both of you happy, APART than miserable together, and trying to fake like everything is ok. To ME, that's not setting an example for your kids. Sometimes it's ok to let go. I enjoyed spending time at my mother's and when she got on my nerves, I was able to go to my father's. Just because you're divorcing, doesn't mean the children are losing their parents. And NO I could not live with an ex... I think it's beyond stupid. When I divorce you, I'm ready to move on. If we're doing it for our children, just get a house a neighborhood over or something
+Aja Giselle I totally agree with you! It's almost like you're setting your kids up, trying to portray this happy, dreamy life. And when your children are adults facing reality, they may find themselves miserable in a marriage. They're afraid to move on, because they feel that they have to stay in it, only because you have children together. And they end up carrying that same mentality, because that's what their parents did
you right about that....marriage is about the couple that so happen to have children together....the marriage has to be feed in order.to give.nourishment to the parenting aspect.of it....I mean how do u date when u want to?? do u take.turns bringing someone over? Boo bye....smh
+Aja Giselle i completely agree with what your saying. however, just because a couple may get a divorce does not mean that they hate each other or that they cannot stand each other. some people just fall out of love a divorce doesnt have to make you enemies
i agree with adrienne 100! it breaks u more to even see them put up when they arent happy but at the same time happy that jeannies parents did that for the kids!
It also depends on the reason of the divorce, I have a friend who's dad cheated on her mother for a whole year while her mother was going through chemotherapy. I would never be able to be under the same roof with someone who did that
Definitely if there are some bitter feelings like one spouse betrayed the other like what happened with your friends parents, it's always better to not live together because those strong feelings of resentment would get in the way of parenting the children. But if it's a mutual decision or if there was no betrayal in the marriage they can live together for their kids if they decide.
My marriage crumbled in 2008, my now ex use to sleep on the couch. He did that for 2.5 years. I slept upstairs. He use to start an argument at 6 am!! Who does that? He use to wait till it was time for me to leave for work to say, "we need to talk" ihh, no! you had allllll evening to talk. Now, you want to talk? No. We use to argue over money *my money*, who's making dinner, why did you buy this, why did you buy that. Why did it take you 5mins to put your sneakers on. Why. you dress like an old lady? Now, that he's been gone since 2011, I'm the happiest woman ever
I think it’s wrong how they always tell Adrienne she can’t have an opinion every time it comes to kids SHE WAS A DAMN KID ONCE TOO let her tell her side damn
Baby steps guys baby steps. We were first treated to the 13 min clip with Tamar mommy & recently we have been getting a few over 7 min video. We are getting closer to full girl chat segments.
Tamar felt it in her soul when she said that marriage is hard lmaooo
like... waaaaay deeeep she did! ...
Girl I was dying and saying preach at the same time!! Hard, but worth it IMO
I loved Tamar's point of view and I think Jeannie really appreciated that.
💯💯💯
+Ellen Benoit Yup, Tamar had a really healthy perspective on this. I think it's not good to ever be set on one way or another.. what you decide doesn't get determined until you're in the situation and assess it right then n there. Otherwise I think there are so many pros and cons to both sides that there's definitely no "right" answer for every situation. It looks like Adrienne would've actually "preferred" her parents to split but I know other people who were devastated by just that. It also depends a lot on the kids' personalities etc. like I know kids who were messed up over their parents' split but I kinda hated how mine stayed together like Jeannie's parents did so I'm personally with Adrienne but that definitely doesn't work for every kid
Exactly!! In this case, I think it would have been better or fairer for Adrienne not to say she disagreed but that her experience was different from Jeannie’s. Because this type of situation isn’t just cut and dry. What works well for one may not work well for others, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work altogether.
The Real decided to be super duper generous today with this almost 8 minute clip.
IKR!
God bless them
+Danny Zuko hahahaha right.
IKR!!!! I can only watch them at 1:00am on Saturday because im in school when it comes at 10:00am and I go to sleep early Mon-Thurs so this is the only way I can watch it
+Danny Zuko Yummy pickles! Lol
In all honesty, I'm not even surprised that Jeannie's parents would go to such lengths to keep their children happy. From the stories that Jeannie tells, her parents were ALWAYS ready to sacrifice for the children! They're truly amazing in my opinion 👏👏👏
The story she told about her dad getting food, and wouldn't eat just so the kids were able to eat still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. Her parents seem really great.
+Yvonne Most definitely.
That's how Asians are
Yvi Yvonne How when her mom knew Jeannie was being sexually abused by her older cousin but her mom ignored it 🙄
Angshu Sarma Yh they turn a blind eye to child abuse 🙄
"Marriage is HAWWW-ARRDDD!" - Tamar Braxton
lmaoo
+Marriage & Motherhood I replayed that part 1000 times LMAO
Marriage & Motherhood 😂😂😂
Tamar was saying that your kid shouldnt see you get hit by your spouse and divorce would be the right choice in that case. Vince was apparently abusive and she had to get a divorce in the end.
Grace Brielle lool you're watching old clips too ! How u doing ? 😆😉
Wow I have to say. Jeannie's parents seem like exceptional people. Every time she talks about them, I am always impressed by the level of sacrifice they are willing to go through for their kids' happiness.
Jeannie' parents put their kids first. She has said before, they were poor, like REAL poor. Maybe they could not afford to move out. But after sharing her side, it just seems they did not want their kids to be upset. They may not have loved each other anymore but they loved their kids more. They did what parents had to do.
Xk8rsx ... Very well said. Great point.
Ehh... My parents stayed together even though they were unhappy supposedly because of the kids, but all it did was make them bitter and fight all the time. Yeah, that kinda didn't help me and my view of relationships.
Aishoo 1234 that's understandable everyone has different situations
@@Aieshoo same!
Yeah I totally disagree w this. You can still work together as co-parents & teach your children their parents love & respect each other as their parents regardless of splitting. Why teach a child a marriage is an empty shell of a broken relationship you have to stay in for the kids?
I actually agree with Adrienne's point of view "happy parents, happy kids" but the way she looked down at Jeannie's experience was not ok "that is not a good example of what a marriage should be" there are ways of expressing your opinion without disrespecting others.
+Elle Plow Plow idk how Jeannie kept calm about it actually
+Elle Plow Plow yea that pissed me off alot of things work for someone and don't work for others just because it don't work for you doesn't mean you have to bring everyone else down
right
I think that Adrienne was coming from the childs perspective and she was saying that as a child, growing up in a loveless home is worse that 2 people staying together for the kids. Jeannie says it's okay but it might be one of the underlying reasons she does not want children.
LiveLoveLaugh I know what she was saying but calling out Mama Mai for her opinion was NOT ok. That's what I AM saying.
"I don't like your dad"😂😂😂
I thought she said neck LOL
Living physically UNDER a BROKEN MARRIAGE can result or repeat to a bad marriage for the children..
So if there's no longer LOVE, RESPECT, BOND between the parents , SEPARATE!!
You see. Tamar does NOT always come for Jeannie! Bothe her and Tamera was sticking up for her. I absolutely love this panel of co-hosts!
me too :) love Tamar in this segment
Adrienne was too personal in this segment. I didn't like her judgmental tone especially AFTER Jeanie shared her parents story, it's like she was saying mama Mai did a bad job not leaving but like Tamar said until you have kids you don't know what you will do.
I totally agree with you.
everybody has their own experiences
Totally agree. She was petty Betty
I'm not judging Adrienne, reading is fundamental. What I said was her tone and how she addressed her opinion was very insensitive given her supposed FRIEND had just revealed her parents stayed together for the children. I don't care if she said a million times "this is just my opinion" it doesn't negate that what she said was insensitive to Jeannie. Adrienne literally said parents who stay for the kids are setting such a bad example to their kids", so pretty much Jeannie your parents set a bad example for you. Um excuse me but you don't know my experience so how dare you make that comment literally right after i shared that my mother and father stayed for the kids. It's common sense which Adrienne lacked in this case.
***** Nope I think she said her truth,not taking out what jeanne said,but why can she say what she passed thru ??? why is everyone so sensitive??? the girl said it's her opinion why can't she say what she feel? isn't it called the real??? everybody act like if Jeannie is a baby,my sister has kids and she divorced because he cheated on her,and know my niece is 17 and a strong independent women with no need of that bastard.... so my sister should stay with a man that was horrible for her and her kids???? get the hell out of here,i'm still with Adrienne on this one,i don't think you should stay with someone for your kids but if you want to go ahead. to each its own,i don't think everybody should go all off on a girl that had her point of view, because she lived it,you guys sound insensitive yourselves.
+Dani Rican it's not what you say it's how you say it. Emphasizing that any parents that stay together are setting a bad example to their kids AFTER Jeannie shared her personal family story was insensitive. It's not rocket science.
Jeez. That comment Adrienne made about Jeannie's parents was extremely rude. As an adult you should learn to drop your opinions diplomatically, and not throw it bluntly in people's faces. Glad Jeannie was mature enough to overlook it, and glad the rest of the panel stood up for her.
me too, she basically had her entire childhood attacked. Adrienne's point made sense but she was being insensitive, and saying "just my opinion" doesn't make that okay
I don't think it was EXTREMELY rude. But I get what you're saying. The way she said it was a little too blunt. I think in Adrienne's mind though, she knew that Jeannie could handle her opinion, but even so, it doesn't mean she should have said it as harsh as she did.
Right it was pretty rude imo, her experience wasn't yours Adrienne so of course you wouldn';t understand lmao. I understood what she was saying cause she was giving her perspective but she didn't have to be so blunt about it. I'm glad Tamar and Tamera kinda had jeannies back
She talking about her own childhood.
Adrienne didn't talk about jeannies parents, she spoke about the idea of parents cohabitating based on her own experience
I love Adrienne but the way she looked down on Jeannie's experience was super annoying. Just because your experience was shitty doesn't mean it's like that for everyone.
I agree
But then later on another chat Jeannie said that it was traumatic because her parents would fight 😒
Illenny Mayren what link...send receipts!
Illenny Mayren thanks, I didn’t notice that🤦🏽♀️
Tiny Tee yeah if you notice now she changed her mind, on another video she said that none of her brothers wants to get married or have kids and she thinks that might be the reason 🤷🏽♀️
Tamar checked Adrienne perfectly
Exactly, she thought that every situation is the same as what she'd been through. But no.
Yes ma'am. I remember those first two seasons of BFV where Tamar was ridiculous and use to scream to the heavens about how her sisters were fools for staying with their husbands. But she has grown and seen the light and I wish Adrienne would hurry up and get married and have kids so that she could become wise as well as to what they're saying
I agree, Tamar did check Adrienne quickly
+tiffany matsvai She said several times "In my opinion". People can have different opinions and she understands that. Her opinion comes from her experience, just like Jeannie's comes from hers.
+Jayme Sigler yes she did. And I think the other host saw that too. That it is her opinion. I think this is one of their best girl chats yet. They didn't scream or yell over each other too much. And they were all understanding of each other's opinions.
I've been LOVING Tamar's points/stories lately. And the points from both sides were actually reasonable.
"Marriage is harrrrrrrrrrrrrhghrggrhrrrrd" 😂😭😂
Neji Hyuga 😂😂😂
I feel bad for Jeannie sometimes cause I get what she's trying to say but she gets undermine. I also get what Adrienne is trying to saying but she seems really insensitive to Jeannie's experience. Everyone's experiences are not the same. I use to judge it too cause that's how my aunt/uncle marriage is, but as I got older I realized that's what works for them and their kids especially since one of their kids has autism. Not everyone is the same. Some parents can deal being in that situation and be fine/not depressed just as some kids can deal with that too and still know the value of love. If anything it shows just how much both parents love their kids if they're willing to put up with each other to give their kids the best life they can if it's a healthy environment. We're all built differently.
🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
Preach.
yeah. I didn't like how Adrine shut Jeanie up. #rude
+GarLyndia Ford Yeah same, it was really condescending when she put her hand on Jeannie's back and tried to act like Jeannie was speaking crazy and shocked that Jeannie still had a good experience. She made it sound as if Jeannie's parents or parents who do this were bad parents/role models, which I'm glad Tamar and Tamera checked her on even if she still wasn't really comprehending cause she was only focusing on her experience.
Exactly. And that's why I felt like Adrienne was so immature and ignorant here. You have to see it from another perspective, not just one that is your own.
"Have to do what's RIGHT for you" sister sister theme song lol
Lollll
+Michael Brooks lol omg
+Michael Brooks waw waw waw waaaaaw lol
+Ree K bye @ "waw waw waw waw waaawww "😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭
+Ree K oh gosh, choked on the water I was drinking. 😂😂😂😂
Adrienne act like everyone's household is like hers. Some couples find they are better as friends and just stay living together and take care of their kids. Some things work for some and not for others. Why disrespect Jeannie' s story.
ScorpioSunScorpioMoon she’s talking about her experience
Fatou Saho And so was Jeannie, but she made it seem like her experience is the only experience. That her experience was the only one that mattered.
Dana Flamenco everybody was talking about an experience from the parents perspective. Adrienne was talking about from a child’s perspective. Most kids wouldn’t be that affected by their parents divorcing
All she said was her opinion just like everybody else. 😎
Living together without love is sin living together without being married is a sin ...set your foundation from the start
Tamar's "HAARD" - "HAARRRGGGHHHHDDDDD" lmao love her!!
Tamar Braxton felt it in her spirit she had to be clear and concise to express how HARD marriage is child! 🇬🇧
ROFL
Yes Tamar! "HAUUURRRRDD" lol hard
I was dying😂😂💀
😂😂
TBH I don't think theres a right or wrong. Theres pros and cons to both. Adrienne has lived it so her opinion/feelings can't be disregarded. Clearly her experience was different to Jenie. End of day we don't know what happens behind closed doors so she aint gonna tell all on TV lool
Yeah, I don't like the idea that just because she isn't a parent yet her opinion isn't valid. She's isn't claiming to know what the best way to parent your kid through a separation is, She's just saying as a kid who grew up in that environment it's really dysfunctional. Kids aren't stupid, they know when their parents are going through tough times and it's a hard thing to watch your parents go through.
Valerie Karina totally agree. I definitely see both points of view. Just because she isn’t a parent, doesn’t mean her point is not valid. Children receive the foundation of how everything should be based of their parents. Just a straight fact. They’ll go on to mirror that later in life. So, I’m in agreement with Adrienne. It may work for some parents. However, staying in a loveless marriage and living together for the sake of the child is something they will pass on to their children and their childrens’ children. Parents teach the example of how a relationship should be.
On the flip side, you don’t want to disappoint your child and be around them every day. So you may not want to be around that person but you want to be around your child.
Again, it could work but is that the example of a relationship Btwn a mom and dad is what you want to set for your little one? Everyone had valid points
"I don't like your daddy" lol
I don't think Adrienne understood. They're not faking a marriage or faking being in love for their kids, they're just living together to raise them and not have the kids bounce back and forth between homes, there's no arguing over custody, who gets the kids on what holidays. That's really all they're tryna prevent.
What Adrienne is saying is that yea the parents think they are doing what their kids want by staying as one family, but in reality the kids KNOW that the parents are not together anymore so therefore they are not happy anymore with each other and for the kids to think that their parents are staying together just to please their hearts hurts for the children. So ultimately that concept is actually whats making the kids unhappy, thats if they realise whats going on.
+Amnesian Bro but Adrienne said that this is showing them the wrong idea of what a marriage is supposed to be. Clearly assuming that they're planning on staying married for the sake of the kids. But they're not, they're just living in the same household. For all we know this could be exactly what they're happy doing. Maybe they're still friends.
+VONiiE8 I get Adrienne's point tho. You don't wanna show a child that a relationship is staying with someone who makes you miserable. kids may or may not get the details of staying married vs just living together, but they can see the misery and that's not a good look.
+Laini D I believe kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for. And maybe they're not miserable, maybe they're happier like this.
+VONiiE8 Yea they do. depending on age, but generally kids understand more than we think I agree. well if the parents are happy its a great situation. But if they're miserable (like Adrienne's parents) then I agree that separation may be better than a hostile environment. as we said, kids understand a lot and that can take an emotional toll on them
I definitely remember when Tamar on BFV rolled her neck, 360 degrees and said, "I don't need to have kids to understand", "I don't need to have kids to understand" 😂😂😂
hahah she was so annoying, but she gets it now
+Michie Oo lol, she know she needed to learn before she could say sh*t.
Bex G right
I remember that episode 😂 she was always storming out "I can jump on my mans jet and get the hell up out of here" 😂
Lmbo!!!! Yes!
I think it's important to teach children how to end relationships in a HEALTHY way with clear boundaries. Exes who co-habitate need to be intentional in the way they go about it.
Agreed....you made the most mature comment here. Everyone involved should be happy and healthy. As long as there is respect and a genuine interest in putting the kids first, communication and respecting each other. Both parents should be able to co-parent in a healthy way while still maintaining separate lives, whether living together or separate. I just think it's healthy to be honest with the kids.
+underwaterseas I remember Vanessa Williams was on Oprah's lifeclass and she said she had both of her ex-husbands Ramon Hervey and Rick Fox living in her house.
You can't judge someone else for how they raise their child. What works for one family may not work for everyone.
When tamar said marriage is hard i died laughing
I completely agree with Adrienne on this one!!! people act lke you can't be divorced and be great parents to your child like you have to stay married!!!
I find Tamars ability to incorporate new terms like "party people" so naturally in her conversation that I start saying party people in my convos lmaooo i'll be at my local library and going "hEY MY PARTY PEOPLE WHATS GOOD!!!!" and they escort me out.... but still damn she's the linguistic queen! SHE DID THAT!
LOL at escorting you out
"and they escort me out" you had me dying lmaoooo
I absolutely agree with Adrienne. I experienced the same. I think parents underestimate a child's ability to interpret things. They can tell when things are not going right and when the parents don't really get along. It is the worst example of what a real marriage should be. Even to the mom's that stay with the father because of financial reasons. It can distort their views on love and discourage the thought of marriage. Who knows if that's the reason adrienne has had problems with her relationships (not saying it is). I'll be homeless before I live miserably with someone I don't like anymore or has done me wrong.
+Elizabeth Taylor Agreed.
+Elizabeth Taylor I see what you and Adrienne are saying, but that can't be applied to EVERY other situation like that in general. Circumstances vary. Surely some couples could make it work. There are couples out there who are perfectly happy, even though they aren't in love with each other. George Hamilton (from the Godfather) and his ex-wife are a good example of this. They got married, had kids, got a divorce, and they still live together as best friends and they consider each other soul mates. I agree with you that if the parents aren't happy, they shouldn't be together, but all couples who divorce aren't necessarily unhappy. I think Tamera had the right idea: Do what's best for you and your family
+Jennifer Humphries I feel strongly about it like adrienne does because I experienced it. So i guess every situation is different. I could never do that.
+Elizabeth Taylor Yeah, it depends. My parents divorced when I was 9 and I was happy about it just like Adrienne. But I cant associate my experience with everyone else's and say "oh, that's a bad idea, you shouldn't be doing that". I just wanted to point out that not all people who get divorced hate each other or are miserable around each other. There are people who can still be genuinely happy and fulfilled and live together after a divorce and they aren't "faking" it. It's possible.
For me I literally thought that that’s what a marriage was for the longest. It’s sad but I thought wedding rings were just things you saw on tv. And I was shooook when I saw at the age of 21, my friends parents happily married. I was like that’s weird.
I'm gonna have to agree with Adrienne. It was only until my parent's came out and said it and got a divorce that I felt relieved.
Can I just say how Tamar has been slaying all this week with the hair tho!?!?!
yes lord 🙌🙌🙌🙌
I agree with Tamar and Tamera on this one. There's a reason why I refuse to have kids out of wedlock. Marriage and parenting in a HUGE responsibility I'm not willing to take if my partner isn't 100% sure they want to be with me for a long time.
Couldn't have put it better.
I agree!
I agree with Adrienne. Two un-happy parents faking for children is unhealthy.
100 percent agree. Been through it.
It really is. It's much more damaging then just getting divorced. Know for sure.
+LivMYlif3 agree! I can see the affect having when I'm in a relationship.
Agreed that's why only mature non dysfunctional parents could do this. For the people that don't put their children first, this isn't for you lol
Exactly i never knew how much my parents mariage affected me because of the way i was raised in that mariage... I was afraid to commit because i was afraid to go through the same thing in my relationship...
I love when Jeannie does her mom!
Adrienne was absolutely on point with her perspective!
I appreciate Adrienne's opinion. she had every right to say that cause she was the child. the child is the one affected
I think the sense of having two parents together can be comforting to some kids. Working as coparents is different from faking a relationship. I respect Adrienne's opinion but she was extremely insensitive to Jeannie with her comment "setting a bad example to your kids about how marriage should be"... Don't come for her parents. I felt for Jeannie in this clip cause she seemed so proud that her parents set aside their differences and then Adrienne pulled that :/
I'm with Tamera and Jeannie on this one. It depends on your circumstances and the two adults maturaity level. Some people can handle a co-habitation situation. I also understand Adrienne's point as well. If the two parents are toxic togther, then they don't need to be near each other at all. Kids are very smart and they generally know before the adults, no matter how you think you're hiding something from your kids, they already know. Heck, sometimes the kids can get the adults together with their honesty LOL.
This was a great discussion. Everyone made a good point to their argument. 👏🏾👏🏾
At college I actually studied what Jeanie is talking about. Many studies found that in eastern cultures they are more concerned about the family more than themselves so they stay together to keep the family together, whereas in wetern cultures we put ourselves as individuals first, so will break up the household. Not saying its right but its really interesting that its happens in Asian families that live in the West.
***** yeah divorce is horrible and its hard to know what's going to affect your children, like tamera said only you know what's right for your family
Unlike the US, other countries are more "collective". Meaning they value their community and family more. While here in the US, we tend to be more "individualistic". We rather put ourselves first than others. I agree with your comment.
+Joana Martin That's not just the U.S., that's western society as a whole.
It's weird how Adrienne's point of view was perceived as her judging how parents raise their children.
She was just explaining how she felt as the child in the whole situation when she was younger, while the moms explained from a parent's point of view. Often times, children know more than you think. I think both points of view should be considered. I don't know about co-habiting being the best decision but co-parenting where both parents are involved with the child as often as they can or equally, seems better.
Exactly the child point of view is just as important
I totally agree with Adrienne at least on the one point. BEING the child gives you a LOT of insight into good and bad parenting because you see the effects it has on the child, which is the most important part. You don't have to be a parent to understand certain things. We may not understand WHY a parent does something or what they're thinking, but we can understand what happens because of it and really that's all that matters, because parenting is not about the parents, it's about the kids.
Adrienne starting to work my nerves. The way she was touching Jeannie in the middle of her speaking- so patronising. If that worked for Jeannie's family then who is she to say thats a bad example?!
Yes she was being disrespectful...not everybody is like you Adrienne... Like seriously she needed to shut up and sit down
yeah. i didn't like when she was like "well that was your experience I'm talking about mine not yours" ummmm...so Jeannie can't continue to voice her thoughts the same way you do? She was annoying today & kinda rude.
She was beyond annoying. I usually love Adrienne but she was bitter Betsy in this segment. She needs to let other people speak on their experiences. She got way too personal and too rude towards Jeannie. I would've clapped back if I were Jeannie
AGREE with all of ya'll. What works for one family may not work for others. With traditional Asian families, they're very concerned about providing for their children. If that means faking the marriage until the kids are grown enough to understand and accept divorce, so be it!
+sugarspiceunlimited Agree 100% Adrienne is the most immature on the panel and was def acting like it. How did she not understand people, families, marriages are different? uggggghhhhh she was extra extra patronising to Jeannie.
I'm Asian and my parents hate each other but they stay together.... Worst thing ever. Actually selfish and makes your life miserable.
I'm not asian but same thing. It's a fucking nightmare.
I'm in the exact same situation and it's awful. I've asked my parents to get a divorce many times. It just makes life awful.
Same with me. I just wanna get enough money to buy my mom her own house.
shafali begum yea I think Jeanie Deff over played this one. Especially how she talks about her mother and just seeing how her mother is. I doubt it was rainbows and butterflies
I’m black but yes same. It’s horrible. And not worth having two parents under one roof if all that results is animosity
my parents got divorce 7 years ago, but they should of gotten divorce when I was child. There marriage was not healthy. My father treated my mother like crap.
so sorry for you honey I hope they are happy now and so you are
Same, all they did was fight fight fight. I was praying they go their separate ways. They are still together.
+Nina Cubana Well my mum is happy that she doesn't have to deal with my dad's cheating ass. I don't know if my dad is still happy with his side chick baby mama.
how are you now?!
@@kennedicampbell2266 I am OK now.
I'm actually proud of Adrienne on this one. She's always looked at as the "bandwagon" but she really stood up for what she believed. Yes she may have worded it in a way where it was offensive but she sure did not do it intentionally. Get it Ade.
That "marriage is hard" moment had me screaming *LMFAO* Tamar killed me. It looked like she was gonna choke
ikr... look like she wuz bouta throw up r she wuz chokin on a bone r sumthin
THIS WAS MY SITUATION FOR SO LONG my parents HATED each other from the time I was 10 and I knew it and I hated the fact that they stayed together for my sister and myself. They'd always fight I mean ALWAYS fight and it was one of those things where it was rare for them to not be fighting. They'd put us in their adult situations and also in their relationship and that's why I know what Adrienne means. It was terrible growing up in a house with parents who hated each other and feeling like I had to always choose one over the other. Now that I'm older and my mom just recently left IT WAS SO RELIEVING it wasn't hard at all. I remember begging them to get a divorce when I was 11 because I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't even focus in school. I had my own problems but I had no one to talk to because they were so involved with themselves and arguing. So I do agree with Adrienne where she said it's not a good example of a healthy marriage, and honestly I don't know what a healthy marriage or any relationship looks like. So I feel alone but I know other people are either going through or have been through this too. But if they are TRULY happy with that living arrangement then I see no problems with it
You literally described my life only difference is that they still together and just physically fought last week. I grew up with the fighting and then saying theyre just together cuz its a marriage and fights are normal and to stay for my sister and i but honestly im tired of the fighting like are you really gonna be 70 years old and look back at your life and be happy you wasted all that time miserable putting on a show for your kids???? And same, idk how to be in a relationship idk whats healthy idk. And look at amber portwood, she watched her parents fight and she exposed that to her daughter as well, thats not okay.
+Angelise Totally agree, I'm sorry you still have to deal with this you shouldn't have to at all. I mean I can remember my parents fighting since I was 2 but I didn't know they hated each other until I was about 10. They still fight sometimes which is ridiculous because they don't even live together but it's more my mom. I'm just glad I have some peace now, my sister and I are pretty messed up though and I do see a therapist once a week and I'm not going to say it's all because of how my parents raised me and the things I was exposed to. But that's a big part of why I go and it is helping but I just feel so upset that it had to come to this. I may not know what a healthy relationship looks like but I know what an unhealthy relationship looks like and I never want to be like my parents. I'd rather be separated and happy than be together and miserable.
+Victoria Barnes very well said, i hope it continues to get better for you.
I agree with Adrienne, I'm not going to live with him for the sake of the children. That is why to prevent such an awkward situation you choose carefully of who you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
+Michie Oo people honestly aren't taking this seriously enough. They might say "oh well you'll never really truly know EVERYTHING about somebody" but chile if you've been together long enough, nobody can fake a personality forever. Eventually you''ll see if that's the person you wanna marry. Then the choice is up to you.
Abigail Jones right
6:30 OMG!! I got so scared, I thought Tamar was choking and about to cough up a hairball 😂
😂😂😂😂😂 righttt
+happy king hilarious!
I REALLY WANT TO MEET JEANNIE BC SHES SUCH AN INSPIRATION! I'm Asian and that is the SAME EXACT CIRCUMSTANCE as my parents. They dont really get a long, and they sleep in separate rooms etc. I'm only 19 years old and Its been this way for many years, but I believe no big moves of divorce have happened for the exact reasons Jeannie said.
Adrienne is absolutely right though. Kids are smart and they see a lot more than we think. My mother and father are similar to Adrienne's parents in the sense that I never saw them fight, but I just knew they were miserable. Luckily for family, they went to counselling and were able to resolve a lot of the issues in their marriage. However, I do remember my mother being so depressed and angry at one point that I just wished for them to get a divorce so that she could be happy. And also, as parents - it's our job to set an example for how our kids view relationships and love. You don't need to be happy 100% of the time, that's not realistic, but the arguing and the tension can make relationships seem so toxic and volatile that it just sets the wrong expectations and ideas for kids.
Hearing Tamar speak makes me glad and proud of how much she has grown from the early BFV days.. damn i remember when Tamar used to be on Gabe's lame ass and had an opinion on her sister's situationship. PS: stay slaying boo!
6:29, best part of this video. Miss Tamar was on point! 😅
Tamar looks BOMB 😍
I'm with Adrianne on this one. You gotta do what's best for you, the children will grow up & understand & thank you later.
I agree!!!! You gotta do what makes you happy even if the kids hate the idea of mommy and daddy aren't together anymore, because when they get older you can always tell them why then they'll understand that if you aren't happy you gotta leave to finally be happy!!! My parents were the same way, they divorced when I was 13th and I hated it but it was when I was 15th that my mom told me and my siblings that when you aren't happy anymore you gotta think about your happiness not the kids because you'll grow up and see the difference between being happy and not being happy.. I'm now 19 and I see how happy my parents are with their spouses then when they where married to each other. My parents are better together as co-parents then parents together cause they don't fight anymore!
I'm with Adrienne on this one.
Absolutely
+Dani Rican me too! I would rather have my parents separate and happy then suffer and stay together for me.
I actually agree with her, I think that it is bad example that you should stay in a loveless marriage
You don't have a kid child haha
Me too
girl you a obsessed Adrienne stan....of course you agree with Adrienne.
Adrienne is right. Studies have shown children prefer their parents divorced and happy, than together and miserable.
Marriage sho is Hwaaarrrggddd! But there is no wrong or right answer no matter how strongly you feel about it.
Everybody is right for once. Poor Adrienne it bothers her still.
Yes, you can see it in her reactions.
A breakup doesn't always mean to hate the other person, sometimes, the (love "pasion, sexual etc) is not there anymore, and there is another more fraternal feeling, like, I don't hate you, but I don't have to hang everyday like before, just each one with thier own lives, but seeing that our culture is used to "I hate you I don't want to see you again" is so immature, like, after they f**k the sh** out of you.. you are like, it never existed.. that's dumb lol
can i just say I HATE when people say well udk yet because u don't have a kid yet. like I'm still allowed to have personal feelings based off of my own experiences. we may parent differently. sheesh
+rocktokiohotel94 I get what u sayin but I wasn't referring to the specifics of the video. I agree things do change when u become a parent but there are also certain things that dont based off of experience before ur a parent.
I’m with Adrienne on this one.. I know as parents you try to do what’s best for your child and where they are at the time.. but kids grow up. And then we gotta deal with the complex developed watching the breakdown. Think of your child in the long term not hurting the 8yr old at the time
I'm with Adrienne. I went through the same thing she did. Being the kid in that situation is horrible. I felt emotional myself watching her explain herself. Being in a house with 2 parents who love you but barely speak to each other, always tension in the house and that kinda stuff is something I wouldn't wish for anyone. It's horrible.
I almost choked when Tamar said haaarrrrrrddd though LMAO
Exs are for the past, let them stay there and stop think about getting back together! GET IT TOGETHER YALL!!
No offense but I give this one to Jeanie because she's in a loving marriage whereas it could be assumed that Adrienne might be suffering from her childhood baggage when you see her relationships. No shade, just keeping it real.
you ain't lying!!!
+Crystal Kathuria On the other hand tho...That could be the reason why Jeannie aint got kidz tho... #deep Huh?
And 1 year later... 😂👍🏿
And now? Lmaooo
How the tables have turned... Jeannie is divorced and Adrienne is the one in a loving marriage😂😂😂
I agree with Adrienne. When parents stay together for the kids yet they are unhappy it's a terrible environment.
Great girl chat! They ALL made sense! So basically at the end of the day I'm sure we can all agree and just say different strokes for different folks. Me personally, though I couldn't do it. And if we had kids (and since kids are smart) I feel they would know that something is wrong and feel the non genuineness happening and they truly wouldn't be happy.
I don't think Adrienne was being rude, she was just being real and stating her opinion .
Wooow ! Tamar has really grown up ! I'm glad to hear every word she said !
I'm a hundred percent with Adrienne on this one. My parents got divorced when I was three. They maintained a pretty decent relationship afterward though but during their marriage with my mother's mental illness it was definitely the right thing to do. Kids are not stupid they can clearly see if their parents are upset.
I agree with Tamar, its impossible to speak on how you should raise a kid if you don't have your own.
That's your opinion
+smharris9 It's a fact. She was speaking for the kids that grew up in this situation which is real. Believe it or not.
+smharris9 i hate when people say that...
+smharris9 That is ridiculous. People who make those arguments are shortsighted. MOST people base how they would raise their kids on how they were raised. The decisions you make come from the values and ideas you have about parenting before you had the child. Even a decision on whether or not to have a child is based on how many people feel about their own childhood. People think "Oh, my mom did this, I want to do this as well" or "I was not happy as a child when my parents did this, so I'll never do the same to my kids". The best reference point for how to raise your kids is by examining what you experienced as a child and seeing what worked and what didnt. That is how we try to do better than our parents did. That's a human trait of learning from what we have experienced and improving it. If you didnt have any notions on how you would raise your children from your own upbringing that is very strange.
It's a lot easier said than done. Kids of all ages, just want peace in their homes and their parents to be happy. If that's not going on, then it effects kids in a negative way. I agree with Tamera - it really depends on each family and relationships, and what works for them.
still don't see how Adrienne was looking down on Jeanie's opinion when she was speaking from her perspective. People aren't that bright if they can't understand that ppl can have a different opinion without being condescending or putting down someone else's opinion
I agree with Adrienne too. I was the child that was stuck in a home with unhappy parents. When the topic of divorce first came up, I was 11 years old and cried and begged my parents not to get a divorce. Now with my 20th birthday less than a week away, I tell my mother all the time to leave my father because he's not a good person. My mom sacrificed her happiness and all it did was hender ours as well. So staying is not always a great solution.
I feel you girl. When I was like 13, my parents were constantly fighting and my dad wasn't treating my mom right. I was actually the one who told my mom that she should leave my dad. Honestly, they were better off apart. 6 years later, they both moved on and they are both happier.
I feel you. I'm in that situation right now and I'm 18, on my way to 19. I've known for 10 years that my parents aren't in love anymore and want to get divorced, but I'm raised in an African household and divorce is kind of tabu and it's a sign of "failure". My parents wanted to get divorced a decade ago, but decided to stay together for us childrens sake. 10 years later and they are still arguing, hating each other etc but refuse to get divorced until my youngest sister turns 18, which is in 8 years. When I was younger, the thought of my parents not being together made me cry, but as you get older, all you want is them to be happy. As Adrienne said, happy parents = happy children. I adore their sacrifice, but I don't want to be 27 and know that since I was 9, my parents have hated each other but they stayed together for 18 years because they wanted us to be happy. I think that parents fail to listen to their children sometimes when they are trying to make their kids happy. It's sad.
I honestly see everyone's POV at the end of the day it all comes down to what you think is best...Tamar is right parenting is OJT and you just try to do what you think is best
omg Adrienne this is not all about you!
Im with adrienne on this on .
I LOVE this panel of 5 AMAZING WOMEN! So many stories, so many different experiences, so many opinions!! Someone out there can relate to at least one of them!
Adrienne was speaking my life!!!
Lmaooooooo Tamar is so crazy "Marriage is haaaaaaaaawdddddddd!"😭 But I'm glad to see how much having Logan has mentally and emotionally matured her. She seems so different now (in a good way) from her early Braxton Family Values days and I'm loving it.
+madeyoulook Yesss..she has matured a lot over the past few years. I went from loving her to disliking her, to loving her again. I am liking this Tamar..Still over the top, but I am not mad at that..she is funny.
I think its the most UNSELFISH thing for parents to put their kids FIRST ...and stay together to raise their kids to make the happy !..Its a sacrifice Adrienne....
+Arima Babe You can't really say that unless you've experienced that firsthand though. Yeah parents should put their kids first but that doesn't mean that they're selfish if they decide to split up. My parents divorced when I was a kid and they both remarried with other people and it was great, like they remained good friends and they were happy with their respective spouses, my dad and my step-dad are friends too, it's like i got two sets of parents. I think I'd rather them separate than stay together and be miserable or always arguing, at least this way everyone's happy.
I get the impression that the experience for her was not that great. Sometimes what you believe to be a sacrifice for the kids could actually cause kids more harm than it does good
I don't understand Adrienne though. At first she said she would only do it under the condition of having kids together and the house. Then she went on to say that she feels very strongly about the topic and that parents shouldn't do that. Love you Ade but you totally contradicted yourself.... I agree with Tamera & Tamar on this one, if you have no kids you wouldn't get it but at the same time to each their own. Every child, parent, family is different and parents know what is best for their kids & family.
Maggie R exactly what I was thinking!!
But little do you know, your young children would rather see the both of you happy, APART than miserable together, and trying to fake like everything is ok. To ME, that's not setting an example for your kids. Sometimes it's ok to let go. I enjoyed spending time at my mother's and when she got on my nerves, I was able to go to my father's. Just because you're divorcing, doesn't mean the children are losing their parents. And NO I could not live with an ex... I think it's beyond stupid. When I divorce you, I'm ready to move on. If we're doing it for our children, just get a house a neighborhood over or something
ok I agree with that, I see that can work.
+Aja Giselle I totally agree with you! It's almost like you're setting your kids up, trying to portray this happy, dreamy life. And when your children are adults facing reality, they may find themselves miserable in a marriage. They're afraid to move on, because they feel that they have to stay in it, only because you have children together. And they end up carrying that same mentality, because that's what their parents did
you right about that....marriage is about the couple that so happen to have children together....the marriage has to be feed in order.to give.nourishment to the parenting aspect.of it....I mean how do u date when u want to?? do u take.turns bringing someone over? Boo bye....smh
+Aja Giselle i completely agree with what your saying. however, just because a couple may get a divorce does not mean that they hate each other or that they cannot stand each other. some people just fall out of love a divorce doesnt have to make you enemies
Thank you Jeannie for this. Many many ppl don’t understand it
i agree with adrienne 100! it breaks u more to even see them put up when they arent happy but at the same time happy that jeannies parents did that for the kids!
It also depends on the reason of the divorce, I have a friend who's dad cheated on her mother for a whole year while her mother was going through chemotherapy. I would never be able to be under the same roof with someone who did that
Definitely if there are some bitter feelings like one spouse betrayed the other like what happened with your friends parents, it's always better to not live together because those strong feelings of resentment would get in the way of parenting the children. But if it's a mutual decision or if there was no betrayal in the marriage they can live together for their kids if they decide.
My marriage crumbled in 2008, my now ex use to sleep on the couch. He did that for 2.5 years. I slept upstairs. He use to start an argument at 6 am!! Who does that? He use to wait till it was time for me to leave for work to say, "we need to talk" ihh, no! you had allllll evening to talk. Now, you want to talk? No. We use to argue over money *my money*, who's making dinner, why did you buy this, why did you buy that. Why did it take you 5mins to put your sneakers on. Why. you dress like an old lady? Now, that he's been gone since 2011, I'm the happiest woman ever
Jeannie africans do it too.
They all have a point!
I really admire Jennifer and Ben they cohabitating and putting their kids first.
I think it’s wrong how they always tell Adrienne she can’t have an opinion every time it comes to kids SHE WAS A DAMN KID ONCE TOO let her tell her side damn
lmao Tamar checked Adrienne ... She tried it 😂
Baby steps guys baby steps. We were first treated to the 13 min clip with Tamar mommy & recently we have been getting a few over 7 min video. We are getting closer to full girl chat segments.
+fanfictionwriterxoxo girl u peeped that huh? lol...
I agree with Adrienne
I agree with Adrienne for the most part. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you.