Yesterday marks two months since I brought my little Cavapoo puppy home, I am 60 years old and doing it all on my own, the first few weeks were really hard, I cried a lot and really regretted my decision to get her, I watched a lot of videos about puppy blues and they made me feel a little bit better but it always seemed like the people got over it in just a few weeks, well to be completely honest I am only just now starting to feel very happy with my decision to get her, I think that her being about 90% potty trained plays a big part in that, having to watch her like a hawk in the beginning was exhausting, I still look around my house that is a big puppy mess right now and just remind myself that it is just temporary and that one day I will probably wish that I could have one more day like this with her. Don’t feel bad if it takes a little longer than you think that it should to get over the blues, that can make it even more stressful, just give it as much time as it takes and know that it does get a lot better!
Same same... I'm also 60, haven't had a puppy in 20 years, and never did it alone before. I was well prepared for challenges but the thing I didn't anticipate is the EXHAUSTION. I think 20 years older doubles the energy challenge, and so does not having a partner... so it's about 4x harder! I haven't regretted getting her, but being so tired makes everything much harder. Thanks for your post!
I am in my 40’sand raising a new puppy alone. I knew about the puppy blues ahead of time, but I still experienced the anxious, sleepless overwhelm and panicked feeling. I have anxiety, and I found the hyper vigilance you need to have when you get a new puppy was a bit triggering for my anxiety and I too found myself spiralling a bit and feeling out of my depth. Each day gets better, but I wish I had other people around and I too was feeling tired. I was wondering how you are feeling about your dog now and how are you coping all these months later? I love having animals in my life and I wonder how I will cope when I am at a different life stages and different age points, because this is quite an intense experience.
I feel like ibculd have written these comments myself. I have a 14wk old cavapoo who I love to bits but this past month since I've had her has been so hard. I have nausea soVoften in the day. I swear it's my nerves. I have anxiety too. My jumpy, bouncy energetic poo is mayhem at times and sweet as sugar the next breath. Its a real mixed bag on a daily basis and the lifestyle change has been massive. I hope I can get through it all soon x lovecto you all
@@mt1745 my girl turned one on April 17th and June 17th will be one year since I got her, she still has a lot of energy because she is still just a baby, but a least now she understands rules, and she no longer bites!! The biting for the first 7 months or so just about put me over the edge. Things are good now but I would never ever do it again. I know that some people miss the puppy stage but when I think back to what it was like, I honestly have no fond memories.
I am in my 60’s and have the puppy blues also. I have not had a puppy in years. I don’t remember it being this difficult. Yes the potty mistakes in the house are not fun but the eating of everything in my house is most difficult. I have puppy proofed as much as I possibly can! he was three months old when I adopted him, now 4 1/2 months old. I pray every day for improvements.
I brought home a 1yr old puppy and it was so exhausting and extremely anxiety inducing to me. I could NOT handle how I was feeling 24/7. I suffer with depression and severe anxiety and I really thought that bringing a dog in the house would make me feel good. But it made me feel 1000 times worse. I had just lost my 12yr old yorkie who was my soul dog, I made a very rash decision only 2 weeks later and brought home a puppy. I was not emotionally prepared to deal with a puppy and I realized that on day 1. I ended up rehoming him after only 4 days, which I feel very guilty about (yes I told the previous owner I had to rehome him, and she was okay with that) I made sure he went to a nice home where hes the only animal and will have lots of love. I rehomed him today, and I thought I would feel like a failure but I actually felt tremendous relief from it. Sometimes its okay to realize that you made a mistake and made a decision that wasnt right for you. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone does things they regret. I was able to come to that conclusion very soon, in 4 days, and I responsibly rehomed him. Only YOU will know what the right decision is. The amount of failure and guilt I feel isnt even comparable to the intense overwhelming anxiety I was feeling when he was in my care. Sometimes you don't know how perfect your life is until something comes in and disrupts it. Lesson learned!!!
You are an incredibly brave person to be so inspirational with a story that would be too difficult for most to admit. You suffered the great loss of your beloved pet and then went on almost immediately to a perceived failure. I say perceived because you did not fail. You were suffering, you wanted to feel the connection you had for so many years and you reached for the wrong solution and was able to admit that. You have probably saved many people from doing what you did and for that you saved others from suffering- BRAVO! I suspect you are braver than you think. I hope you don't read other posts about people who were overwhelmed and hung in there and compare yourself. Every life is lived different and we all have our own tolerance levels. Do not compare yourself. You get to be you. I hope the guilt has lessened to a lesson learned. Your rehomed pup is more than likely doing fine. Thanks for sharing beautiful you.
Girl! I get this 1000%. I got my first Havi (not first puppy) in 2018. He was perfect from day 1, sleeping through the night immediately, bonding immediately, never cried, etc. A year later, I got a second Havi, thinking Havi’s are all the same. Shocker. They’re not. It was a full 6 months of “omg what have I done.” It DOES take time with some puppies, but one day, it magically happens. But I was so where you were. It was a very hard time in my life. Happy to report, we’re all living harmoniously together now, 5 years later. But I’ll never forget that first 6 months. Hang in there people! It’s worth it!! ❤
Again thank you for another video. We got our puppy when she was 8 weeks old. I had the puppy blues for the first 2-3 months. I know the reason of my blues was that we had a routine in life and I have bipolar, depression, anxiety and the worst…. Terrible OCD. Having this pup peeing and pooping all over was the worst. Idk how I got through it to be honest. Now she’s 7 months old and she is part of our family. We all love her so much. ❤ I can’t imagine my life without my pup.
Hubby and i are just entering 70s, retired, and pup is almost 6 months old. I highly congratulate you at your age and stage for handling a new puppy. We had no clue about puppies although i grew up around dogs and lots of farm animals. Hubby only had a rabbit growing up. I so relate to your guilt feelings because I insisted on a dog. He insisted on a house dog. My advice before puppy is really really investigate all the possible problems and rewards. We would not trade her for Anything!
Ok I’m bawling as I watch this. 😅 Thank you so much for this!!! This timing is impeccable. I’m with my 3 month old goldendoodle who literally peed 4 times within the last 10 minutes and lost my mind. I will definitely come back to this video again and again, so thank you!! ❤
I've never heard anyone explain first time puppy parenting so well!! I got my first puppy in 2001 and I had these same feelings that your describing...fast forward to May of 2023, my husband and I got a havapoo and it had been a long time since I had a puppy. We already had a fur kid that is 10 years old and our routine was very consistent, and with our 10 year old everything has been easy. And just like you have said having an adult dog, you cannot and should not expect a puppy to be anywhere as calm and easy as a puppy. However, just to let everyone know that whatever anxious, regretful feelings you have right now, they will pass, it is temporary. This time around with our puppy I haven't had the blues, however, it has been something different to get used to, but I'm in my 50's now and you just don't stress as much at this point in your life as you might when your younger. Just remember, stay calm, stay peaceful, pray about it, and it will pass...I promise.
Yes!! I was so beyond exasperated with my second Havi, that one day, out of sheer desperation, I actually prayed to ask God to make me love this puppy. Next day, true story, I was entirely I love with this little dude. He’s 5 now, and first Havi is 6, and we’re all living happily ever after. :)
Oh wow…great advice. I had a Lhasa rescue puppy …he was about 3 months and when I got him and he was not very interactive at all…I did all the crating and he potty trained easily, but he paid no attention to me…I thought, “ omg.. he doesn’t like me and this will be an odd relationship. I was pretty distraught, but I kept trying. I was patient and just kind of accepted him that first couple months as he was. Well eventually I noticed him coming closer when I was sitting on the couch…within feet, but closer and closer until one day he wanted up on the couch. I was shocked. It was such moment. so I put him up and let him chill with his favorite toy at the other end he was about 5 months at this point. I tried not to be too excited or force the issue with excitement. Within another month he go closer and closer to me until he was on my lap and that’s where he preferred to be from that point on. He ended up being the best dog I could have ever asked for. Stubborn as an ox, but he was so loving and fun. What a little clown. Never give up on them…it may take months, but be there for them and they can learn to trust you. It took months . So glad I was patient and had the time to be able to be there with him all day. It paid off. That dog had an amazing soul.
Thank you so much for this video, I’m going through this right now. I love my puppy, but I’m struggling with feelings of isolation and struggling and anxiety and needing sleep and this made me feel so much less guilty and alone❤
You have no idea how much this has helped me, I’m week four into having a puppy and I live alone, I have no one to share the load with and it’s killing me, I know it’ll be worth it in the end but I’ve never felt this way. But this helped me so much, I’m currently doing exactly what you said, put her in her pen with food water puppy pads and toys and I’ve come upstairs for some alone time I thought she would have been screaming but a few whimpers and now she’s fine I can’t relax I’m watching her on the camera but at least I know I can do this now! Thank you so much you’ve no idea
This makes me so happy! Especially when you don’t have a helper, taking some time for yourself to recharge while your puppy is safely practicing some independence is awesome. I know it’s hard. You’re doing great!
Thank you so much for this honest video. I have been going through the same thing myself. First time dog owner never mind puppy! It’s so refreshing to see these videos and realise that it is completely normal to feel this way. Sick to death of watching romanticised first week puppy videos where everything is seemingly perfect 😏 this video will help so many! ❤
Yeeees, I had the same! I thought: am I the only one who is not in bliss with her puppy??? Everyone else is just having a blast and I fin every day so difficult and exhausting 😢. Luckily I had some very honest friends who told me about their first months with their puppies. That helped tremendously ❤
Incredible video- Amazing insights and your ability to relay what you experience is the best help I have found thus far on the reality of taking home any puppy. Thanks for the honesty we all need in life so we don't compare or judge ourselves so harshly. I am so WOWED!!!!
I don't know you but I wanted to thank you for this video. It was exactly what I needed, so honest, calm and caring. 'm getting my first puppy in two weeks and as a single girl who's prone to depression i am so scared of getting the puppy blues but this very helped me calm down. Thank you so much, so happy to see the bond you have with your dog. I can't wait to get my little girl 🥰
You’ve got this! Getting a puppy is a big life transition and most life transitions suck a little bit in the beginning 😂 it will be so worth it. Best of luck to you and your new girl!
Cryingggg! This is me right now with my puppy. I thought it was just me. I feel like a bad person not being able to handle my pup. I can’t eat, I keep throwing up. It’s been pretty bad. Thank you so much for this video. I have hope♥️🙏🏻
@@SarahJohnson-sn3ugIt totally gets better! I feel so much better now. I’ve had him for 4 weeks now. I still get stressed from time to time because it’s hard to take care of a puppy but my blues is gone I’m able to eat again etc. 😊
I feel like youve made this video for me.. i also have been feeling major puppy blues with our havanese and your video is already making me feel better
Thanks for saying 4 months of blues! I'm on day 20 and my normal reaction is always, "why is it taking me so long to adjust to this situation?! I remember last time I raised a puppy, 20 years younger and with help I don't have now, saying to my husband at one point when he said he was inviting people over, "what part of 'I'm having a nervous breakdown' don't you understand!?" Hahaha.... that was likely months into it...
your channel has been such a big reason to calm some new puppy nerves, i get my havanese pup tomorrow and im super excited but very nervous. it’s so great to have your channel out here :’)
I never considered puppy blues as a thing until now. I'm considering a Havachon pup and glad I found this message to mentally prepare myself. Being open to possibilities and lack of sleep is what I'm planning on, but anything can happen. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
I am going through this now. I have a generalized anxiety disorder for which I take medication. In 2013, I adopted a 1 year old rescue dog who was my first dog. I didn't realize it at the time, but I got incredibly lucky: she was housetrained, had no destructive tendencies, and was great on the leash. She could be trusted to be alone in the house for many hours and never had an accident. She was quiet and sweet with everyone. She died about 6 weeks ago, and I just starting fostering a 12 week old puppy two days ago, and I am really missing my departed dog. The puppy doesn't do any of the things my Jojo did, and the puppy reminds me how lucky I got.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us ! That’s really helpful to know that we are not alone in this situation ! Thank you for your advices ! I can’t stop crying since we brought our puppy home and I feel less guilty and less anxious because of you thanks ! 🙏
8 week German Shepard, 1 year daughter, wife and daughter poorly coughing all night… 1st week. Very stressed. This video helped. I just want to know my dog dreams I had WILL happen!!
I’m getting a miniature schnauzer in November and I’m so glad I found your channel beforehand! I’m sure I will find helpful information here. Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you for this honest snapshot. Ive been debating for months if I should get a puppy, studied all different small breeds. I have an 8 year old chi mix male who is a dream. I had a Springer Spaniel female who was his companion for 7 years ( and was a big problem) but she died 6 months ago. So I thought to get my boy another companion. I dont want to do the whole puppy thing again, Im 65, alone, have depression and I dont really have the patience. But I was considering it. And almost got a 4 month chihuahua or a 5 month Cavalier king charles spaniel... Your video here has convinced me, NO PUPPY. I’ll to be patient and wait for the right older dog from a shelter.
Thank you so much for this!!! I’m currently experiencing puppy blues w my second dog and I know it will get better with time and lots of patience. You give me hope. ❤
Wow you’ve nailed this experience on the head!!! Thank you for sharing. “A problem shared is a problem halved”. Not I don’t feel so horrible about my experience!
Oh this was really helpful. We collect our puppy in a few weeks. I know it will be hard work, and I’m a bit nervous, it’s such a responsibility. Thanks for being realistic and honest.
We got two havanese pups at 10 weeks old and they're brothers. For the first two weeks, I dont know what happened but every time I would be with them which was very often obviously, I got like an allergic reaction with tightness in my chest, and a light headed sensation. I was super depressed. I fell in love with these two guys day 1 and I was heartbroken. Really sad. So I got an m95 mask and decided whatever needed to be done, these dogs were staying. No matter what. Fortunately within about two weeks I'd be around them without the mask and I wasn't having any allergic problems. So I kept testing and sure enough the problem went away. I'm not sure if was the dogs, perhaps I had some illness but the problem ceased totally and everything is fine now. The pups got trained quickly and the only issue is they have separation anxiety when they're apart so I have to take them on separate walks so they het used to being apart. Great dogs. Absolutely love love love them.
Thank you for your video! As I feared before getting my Havanese, even if I knew what I was going into, I totally recognize myself in your experience, and it's only been two days since I had her... I knew she wouldn't be as I dreamed of, but I did not realize how violent the arrival of a puppy in your life can be. My first puppy was so easy to educate and live with from the beginning that I didn't realize that it could be otherwise...! I live in a flat and even if since yesterday I've been working on separation anxiety, Ulla still barks like Satan after a few minutes alone while all the neighboors can hear hear and I will have to go back to work in 3 days... Disapearing for more than 20minutes ! I feel terrible, useless, alone and anxious that I can't manage and bond with this dog with so much more qualities. Damn, I already saw your video before having Ulla, but now I'm rewatching it hoping my experience will get easier and better like yours did. It makes me feel a bit understood and gives some hope.
Give it a year, I say!! Those first days/weeks/months can be so challenging, and do not represent your whole future with your dog. And in the interim, if you have anyone you trust who can watch your puppy for a bit so you get a break, reach out to them! You’ve got this, the worst parts will pass.
Yesterday I got a puppy after the love of my life passed a few months back. I think my mom needed a dog as a companion more than I do. I'm still missing my pichi and the presence of a puppy is refreshing all my memories of him and i'm so overwhelmed I cannot stop crying. The weird thing that's making it worse is that their behaviours are very similar in a lot of aspects which is bittersweet but throwing me into an emotional doldrum. I had puppy blues when I first got pichi, but they got over in a few days and wasnt this intense.
I went EXACTLY through the same thoughts!!!❤ thank you for this video. Nearly gave the dog away after the first three weeks. Now I could not be happier and we are a real packie 🥰
OM G! I thought I was the only person who felt this way about my puppy Nova-Bella when I first brought her home! I LOVE animals! Dogs, cats, birds, horses, etc!! So…I thought I was a failure in not being able to take proper care of her and her needs. I was alone, so raising her by myself became more “work” than play at first….yet I LOVE her. and I wanted her to LOVE me. Your experiences have helped validate my feelings, questions, fears, (am I doing this right?) and you offer suggestions that have helped me so much in training and anxiety issues, that I thought I was suddenly not equipped to handle. I have had dogs my whole life….yet my little Havapoo was suddenly the most challenging puppy I ever remember having, Probably because it is her nature to WANT to be with me all the time. Learning how to train her to be more independent of me (without both she and I feeling bad), has helped so much! I hope you will continue to share your experiences and “trials and errors” with us…so we too can learn how to raise a happy, independent yet loving puppy/dog that will have the best life they can have with us. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I look forward to watching more and more of your videos! -Val
Thank you so much for these videos! Your whole channel is so wonderful! We just brought our Havanese puppy home a week ago and we’re going through major blizzard conditions and I feel the puppy blues starting because everything is overwhelming. I adore our puppy so much and am so anxious about everything being perfect and I worry that every little thing is going to end up being a permanent trauma (going outside is cold and icy and snowy! The kids are loud and restless! Etc.) Anyway, thank you so much for your videos!
Thank you so much! I don’t know the climate you’re in, but hopefully the blizzard winds down soon and there will be plenty of time left for positive associations with outside time! These are all things that your puppy will adjust to - they really are adaptable.
This was so helpful,Thank you it’s me and Sophie she’s 4 1/2 months our 4th day together so you can imagine what I’m going through,but she really is a lot of fun she already knows her name now we’re potting training😃🐾
You're very gracious toward parents and PPD at the beginning of this video, and it's true that bringing a puppy home isn't the same as bringing a baby home, BUT as someone who experienced PPD, I wanted to reassure you that what you described is very similar to new parenthood on an emotional level. I could have written your journal entry in my early days of parenthood almost word for word, just about my daughter instead of Pistachio. In fact, every single part of this video was very familiar. Even the part where you spoke about training is similar to when my daughter started to be able to speak and we could understand each other. It seems like the common parenthood phrase "the days are long but the years are short" applies to puppies, too. ❤️
I am in the midst of going through the puppy blues right now and can relate to everything you are talking about. to make matters worse, i'm doing this all alone and work full time. it's just a lot
Thank you for this. Getting our little dude on Friday and all of these thoughts have crossed my mind and I know it’s going to be hard and I’ll have to work through my impatience! But I love having a doggo. So I know it’ll all be worth it down the road.
I have a puppy for a week now and it’s been intense. The same thing: I had a dog and really wanted one and my husband never had a dog. I’m feeling overwhelmed and depressed and questioning my decision. I’m afraid that I did the wrong decision and we will have to take her back to the kennel. I don’t know when this will get any better. It’s a full time job to take care of her and I feel this is the only thing we talk about now. It’s really hard. Thanks for reading this with compassion and not judging.
That sounds like a really normal first week of having a puppy. The questioning yourself, the talking about the dog full time, the loss of freedom - all SO normal feelings, even for the first few months! You’re still finding your new normal and your puppy hasn’t grown up or adjusted yet. I felt just like you the first few months and now, 2 years later, my husband dotes on our puppy even more than I do and she is a natural family member who lives seamlessly in rhythm with us. That hard work you’re doing right now pays off. Time works wonders!
What a wonderful video this is! My puppy arrived a week and a bit ago and while my boyfriend has adjusted just fine I’ve been in meltdown mode. Your video has helped immensely more than the other articles and videos I’ve come across which, while validating, primarily focusing on the time cure: just get through it. Your advice was much more practical and I really appreciated the emphasis on doing whatever needs to be done for your mental health and quality of life. My other half has been so helpful in trying to lighten my load, particularly in the night and early morning when my anxiety peaks. I felt keenly guilty accepting his offers of help until you reiterated that it is perfectly okay and necessary to ask for help-I have a desperately horrid resistance to asking for help. And I never thought I’d be the sort to do such a thing, but I’ve purchased a puppy stroller (arrived tomorrow)! We live in a city so taking an unvaccinated pup onto the pavement is about as high risk as it gets and he’s a bit too big to put in a bag. I’m looking forward to having the stroller for walks to the vet and around the neighborhood so we can all get some fresh air to clear away the cobwebs. I selected one with a removable carrier to use as a car seat until he can be trusted to keep still. Ours is a 10-week old half Bernese Mountain Dog, half Cavalier King Charles Spaniel-very goofy, very cute, and very mouthy! Enforced naps are a must as his self-regulation is nonexistent, but we’re fortunate he’s a good sleeper once he is out! He’s doing better not biting our hands, though now to work on chewing where he ought not to: carpets, furniture, clothes!
Thank you so much - it makes me so happy to know this helped you. Definitely let your partner help you - help from a support system is so so essential in any big life transition! You’re doing great and this is a normal struggle to have.
Bitter Apple- original formula only- no cheaper or off brand worked for my pup 30 years ago and our new pup now. I spray it liberally on everything, purposefully on shoes and put them where he can access those shoes. After the first bad taste of it he wants nothing to do with it. Naturally he never sees me spray anything. It has to be repeated every couple of hours but harms nothing though I would spray electronics. I have sprayed cords, laptops when closed, shoes, corners of home trim, furniture both hard and upholstered, bar stool legs, etc. Worked for both but you have to supply lots of semi hard, safe chew toys.
I'm loving your videos I get my little girl havanese tomorrow xmas eve she is 8 weeks .I'm so excited and nervous we have a 13 yr old maltipoo and she is our most concern lol Daisy is our new puppies name and I'm sure we will all be fine ..pray for us lol
This is so helpful. We are hoping to bring a Havanese puppy home in a few months and knowing that this could happen and how to help it is relieving! I do have two kids so I'm no stranger to sleep deprivation, but I've also never had a puppy before, so I have no idea what to expect for our household. I'm so glad to discover your channel and can't wait to watch more of your videos!
This was a great video! I had this feeling about 2 weeks with my little boy Silver. I say 2 weeks because I had to keep looking to the future and knowing it was going to be fine. I say that because I had puppy blues years ago when my husband and I got dogs each one we returned. I felt like a horrible person and only lasted a week to month with most of them. I did ALOT of research on the breed as well as dogs in general before I got my boy havanese who is a 1 yr and 4 months now. I refused to let the puppy stage get to me and enjoyed every moment. Some moments were tough and my husband like yours would help me out! Neither me nor my husband had dogs growing up so it was a learning curve for us both. When we decided to get a girl dog 4 months after getting my boy ( a havapoo sky, which havanese poodle mix is amazing, gem lol) interestingly I had puppy blues for a month wondering "Did I bite off more then I could chew"? But they got along and feel like brothers and sisters and I got out of the blues when I realized because I got them so close in age basically I only had to deal with the puppy stage once with them being babies together. Now my boy is 1 yr and 4 months and she is exactly 1 yr this month! The great memories you make outweigh the hard moments. I LOVED THIS VIDEO, THANK YOU!
I lost my daughter and best friend to cancer last month and to help fill the hole in my heart I have purchased a Havanese puppy that I will be picking up in October. I have had dogs and cats in my adult life for many years but I have never tried mandatory naps. At my age, I need my own naps (lol) so would like to know how often during your day did you require a nap? Also, what was the latest time of day did you stop them? PS - thank you for your channel content. I am enjoying it.
Wish I found your video earlier. Regrettably, I rehomed my puppy as the puppy blues hit me hard. The consolation is that I know I rehomed him to a loving family. Hope to have a puppy again in the future and will be more prepared for it. Thanks for your video.
This is going to be a long comment... sorry... I experienced puppy blues with my first dog Cholo. I am experiencing puppy blues again with my new dog Jody. But the reasons for my puppy blues are different for each dog. For Cholo, it's the stress and guilt that I was not doing enough or I was not doing the right thing for him. Cholo was a very sickly puppy. I almost did not get to bring him home because he got sick the month I was supposed to get him. His previous owner (my tita/aunt) decided to let him recuperate first before giving him to me. When I got Cholo, he was 5 months old. He was well behaved. I did not get to experience the sleepless nights. He woke up at 330am (which was the same time I wake up --- I work 6am). The first few weeks was a breeze. He immediately got the potty training, did not whine in the crate, I did not have problems with him running away off leash. He stuck to me like glue. He was perfect (except for the peeing/pooping on the sofa when we're not looking, which started like around December 2021). What stressed me out was not his behavior but the fact that he was always getting sick despite the vaccines and supplements he was taking. He got Giardiasis July 2021, Kennel cough and bronchitis Nov 2021), This made me stressed, irritable, and i kelp blaming myself that I was not careful enough... But i got through it after seeing videos of other people going through the same thing as me.... Videos like yours helped a lot. 2022 was a quiet year. He only had occasional bouts of diarrhea when he ate something that does not agree with his tummy. He got Ehrlichia May 2023 (which was because his tick medication was delayed for a month) and we were told he was anemic..... When he got cured from Ehrlichia, we found out that he has Stage 3 CKD... This made the depression resurface again. He succumbed to Renal failure Jan 4 this year... Losing him was the hardest and i felt like i failed him... and the entire house definitely had a sort of like blanket of loneliness that covered me and my parents... I was still hurting, but I decided to get a new dog because I saw how sad my parents were like. Fast forward, I got Jody, March 25. She was the sweetest little puppy. But unlike Cholo, her first week was completely different. She's a whiny dog, a land shark, very hyper and runs around the house letting me chase him, and destroyed Cholo's bed and toys on her first 2 weeks.... I understand that I need to be very hands on with her training, but i barely have enough time to myself because from the moment we wake up at 5AM, i am taking care of her. When I work, i have to periodically excuse myself every few hours, because she needs to go potty. By the time my work ends, she is already agitated and wants to go out for play date with my cousin's dog. When we return to the house, she then whines and whines until bed time... This coupled with her tendency to destroy all of Cholo's mementos and the new toys i bought her, makes me regret getting her. I love her. but I am always constantly tired and i hate to admit it but I kept comparing her to Cholo... I am also finding myself missing the time after Cholo died and I realized that I had a lot of time to myself.... This second puppy blues is harder than the first...
Puppies are so hard. It’s really easy to feel thrown off when a new puppy doesn’t remind you of everything you loved about an adult dog. Adult dogs just love us better - puppies are a bit more selfish and chaotic, haha. I hope time and setting up some routine with Jody makes it easier.
I am really struggling with this and could use some helpful advice. My Boston Terrier puppy is a pretty good girl she's 4 months now but she has a horrible Witching Hour about 8:30 - 10 every night. She's zoomie and bitey and just uncontrollable. I have tried Lick mats but that only lasts about 10 minutes and then she's back to her feral self for about another 45 minutes. I have tried chew toys galore but they don't last long either. I have resorted to just crating her in the room with us and hoping that she will calm. Sometimes she does and sometimes I have to put her in the crate 2 more times before she calms. If she is sleep deprived it is SO MUCH worse. My issue is that I can't get her to nap in her crate unless she can see me. I tried moving the crate to another room during daytime nap times but she just screams and does not nap....so I'm not accomplishing the goal!! Any suggestions on how to get her to nap during the day to avoid this meltdown at night ? Should I gradually move her crate to another room ? As I do this she will not nap and then I have defeated the purpose. HELP !!! Her daytime crate is in the family room where we are ( kitchen, den etc) and that is where she is used to it being and she can see me when she naps but I can't get anything done other than sit on the sofa while she naps. She sleeps in the bed with us and has done so since day 1. She usually sleeps through the night. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated....
Omg thank you for posting this!! This is so relatable. Our 10 month old Havanese has definitely given my wife and I the puppy blues. We love him so much but he stresses us out completely. We have a 10 year old senior doggo who is so easy and had an unrealistic expectation for a puppy. How do you handle all their energy? How did you teach her recall? Sometimes he ignores us…
10 months is still a puppy in my book! But things really do get better each month. I feel like even the difference between 10 months and 12 months was huge with Pistachio. For all that energy, try to set some basic energy-exerting goals for the day so you can feel like you’ve met their needs but also stuck to some boundaries for your own mental health. Maybe a couple puzzle toys throughout the day (a frozen kong can work their brains for a good long while), and 2 good playtimes or walks - something that leaves them panting heavily. Look into a flirt pole - perfect for intense play without much intensity on your own energy. I had to create play goals like that both for her own expectations (when do we play/when do we relax) and also for mine! It helped a lot.
Im 15 year old and my mom wasnt allowed me to get a puppy, but i convinced her and told her I'll be the one who responsible to clean her poo, and she finally agreeed, once i bring the puppy home my mom was like so happy and kept playing with the puppy lol 😭😂 But the first week Is so tough cuz the puppy slept with me and literally kept bitingg my hand cuz he wanted play with me but its in the midnight... And like im so tired... And also he would pee on my bed... The first week i literally cried and regret my decision, and questioning myself do i really want a puppy... I was expecting a nice loving puppy but it turn out to be annoying puppy who kept biting my hand and pee on my bed... So i kinda regret it ngl, but at the same time im scared to tell my mom that cuz im pretty sure she would be hella mad cuz i wasnt listening to her before i got the puppy... But anyway i didnt tell my mom that i regret it, and now its been a month since ive adopt the puppy, and im glad that everything does get better
We rewarded her every time she went into the crate on her own or we put her in there ourselves. We also left treats in there for her to discover as a special surprise, and gave all high reward things to her (like her daily dentastix) inside the crate. It's all about making the crate the coolest most amazing place to be for the pup! She is still crate trained today and goes into her crate on her own every night for sleep. She also goes there on her own when she's feeling scared or sick. It's her safe place :)
Poodles are very much like small children. Separation anxiety can be big for them even after adulthood. Goes for the hybrids as well. I’ve raised many pups and my Maltipoos were more of a challenge. It was tough in the beginning you need time to bond with her and they respond well to consistency training is a must I’m glad you found your rhythm with her.
I’m 2 weeks in and all I can think of is how I need to get my puppy rehomed. I feel so terrible for this. How long should I wait until deciding to rehome her? 😔
Hello @backtobreality Love your channel, just started watching it. We are a family of four, have a wife and to girls 8 and 5 years old. We have never had a dog, but are planning on getting one. But after seeing this video and watching alot of videos on getting a puppy i get a bit afraid. Me and my wife are teachers and can not work from home like you do. Can we have a puppy? My oldest daughter are back from school 13:00, so the puppy will be alone from 08:00 - 13:00, five hours. Will this work? Should we get a cat sand box for the pup to use when we are at work?
Thanks so much. 5 hours alone will be just fine! I have a video on separation anxiety that I’d recommend you watch for some tips on how to make those 5 hours less stressful for your pup. It sounds doable to me :)
Well honey don’t stress .. wait till you have children hahahha this is a great start of you and I learning ! I just got a puppy and a one year old to look after .. it’s all about control our selves to stay strong and calm . Pups and kids needs that from us the most more then any thing .. strong and calm and understanding. Done ✔️ you can do it
Yesterday marks two months since I brought my little Cavapoo puppy home, I am 60 years old and doing it all on my own, the first few weeks were really hard, I cried a lot and really regretted my decision to get her, I watched a lot of videos about puppy blues and they made me feel a little bit better but it always seemed like the people got over it in just a few weeks, well to be completely honest I am only just now starting to feel very happy with my decision to get her, I think that her being about 90% potty trained plays a big part in that, having to watch her like a hawk in the beginning was exhausting, I still look around my house that is a big puppy mess right now and just remind myself that it is just temporary and that one day I will probably wish that I could have one more day like this with her. Don’t feel bad if it takes a little longer than you think that it should to get over the blues, that can make it even more stressful, just give it as much time as it takes and know that it does get a lot better!
Same same... I'm also 60, haven't had a puppy in 20 years, and never did it alone before. I was well prepared for challenges but the thing I didn't anticipate is the EXHAUSTION. I think 20 years older doubles the energy challenge, and so does not having a partner... so it's about 4x harder! I haven't regretted getting her, but being so tired makes everything much harder. Thanks for your post!
I am in my 40’sand raising a new puppy alone. I knew about the puppy blues ahead of time, but I still experienced the anxious, sleepless overwhelm and panicked feeling. I have anxiety, and I found the hyper vigilance you need to have when you get a new puppy was a bit triggering for my anxiety and I too found myself spiralling a bit and feeling out of my depth. Each day gets better, but I wish I had other people around and I too was feeling tired. I was wondering how you are feeling about your dog now and how are you coping all these months later? I love having animals in my life and I wonder how I will cope when I am at a different life stages and different age points, because this is quite an intense experience.
I feel like ibculd have written these comments myself. I have a 14wk old cavapoo who I love to bits but this past month since I've had her has been so hard. I have nausea soVoften in the day. I swear it's my nerves. I have anxiety too. My jumpy, bouncy energetic poo is mayhem at times and sweet as sugar the next breath. Its a real mixed bag on a daily basis and the lifestyle change has been massive. I hope I can get through it all soon x lovecto you all
@@mt1745 my girl turned one on April 17th and June 17th will be one year since I got her, she still has a lot of energy because she is still just a baby, but a least now she understands rules, and she no longer bites!! The biting for the first 7 months or so just about put me over the edge. Things are good now but I would never ever do it again. I know that some people miss the puppy stage but when I think back to what it was like, I honestly have no fond memories.
I am in my 60’s and have the puppy blues also. I have not had a puppy in years. I don’t remember it being this difficult. Yes the potty mistakes in the house are not fun but the eating of everything in my house is most difficult. I have puppy proofed as much as I possibly can! he was three months old when I adopted him, now 4 1/2 months old. I pray every day for improvements.
I brought home a 1yr old puppy and it was so exhausting and extremely anxiety inducing to me. I could NOT handle how I was feeling 24/7. I suffer with depression and severe anxiety and I really thought that bringing a dog in the house would make me feel good. But it made me feel 1000 times worse. I had just lost my 12yr old yorkie who was my soul dog, I made a very rash decision only 2 weeks later and brought home a puppy. I was not emotionally prepared to deal with a puppy and I realized that on day 1. I ended up rehoming him after only 4 days, which I feel very guilty about (yes I told the previous owner I had to rehome him, and she was okay with that) I made sure he went to a nice home where hes the only animal and will have lots of love. I rehomed him today, and I thought I would feel like a failure but I actually felt tremendous relief from it.
Sometimes its okay to realize that you made a mistake and made a decision that wasnt right for you. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone does things they regret. I was able to come to that conclusion very soon, in 4 days, and I responsibly rehomed him.
Only YOU will know what the right decision is. The amount of failure and guilt I feel isnt even comparable to the intense overwhelming anxiety I was feeling when he was in my care. Sometimes you don't know how perfect your life is until something comes in and disrupts it. Lesson learned!!!
You are an incredibly brave person to be so inspirational with a story that would be too difficult for most to admit. You suffered the great loss of your beloved pet and then went on almost immediately to a perceived failure. I say perceived because you did not fail. You were suffering, you wanted to feel the connection you had for so many years and you reached for the wrong solution and was able to admit that. You have probably saved many people from doing what you did and for that you saved others from suffering- BRAVO! I suspect you are braver than you think. I hope you don't read other posts about people who were overwhelmed and hung in there and compare yourself. Every life is lived different and we all have our own tolerance levels. Do not compare yourself. You get to be you. I hope the guilt has lessened to a lesson learned. Your rehomed pup is more than likely doing fine. Thanks for sharing beautiful you.
Girl! I get this 1000%. I got my first Havi (not first puppy) in 2018. He was perfect from day 1, sleeping through the night immediately, bonding immediately, never cried, etc. A year later, I got a second Havi, thinking Havi’s are all the same. Shocker. They’re not. It was a full 6 months of “omg what have I done.” It DOES take time with some puppies, but one day, it magically happens. But I was so where you were. It was a very hard time in my life. Happy to report, we’re all living harmoniously together now, 5 years later. But I’ll never forget that first 6 months. Hang in there people! It’s worth it!! ❤
Again thank you for another video. We got our puppy when she was 8 weeks old. I had the puppy blues for the first 2-3 months. I know the reason of my blues was that we had a routine in life and I have bipolar, depression, anxiety and the worst…. Terrible OCD. Having this pup peeing and pooping all over was the worst. Idk how I got through it to be honest. Now she’s 7 months old and she is part of our family. We all love her so much. ❤ I can’t imagine my life without my pup.
I love to hear how much better it got! It really can start out so hard ❤️
Love your story and such a great video for newbies 🥰
Hubby and i are just entering 70s, retired, and pup is almost 6 months old. I highly congratulate you at your age and stage for handling a new puppy. We had no clue about puppies although i grew up around dogs and lots of farm animals. Hubby only had a rabbit growing up. I so relate to your guilt feelings because I insisted on a dog. He insisted on a house dog. My advice before puppy is really really investigate all the possible problems and rewards. We would not trade her for Anything!
I have the puppy blues rn really really bad. This video has really helped me have hope I will get through this. Thank you for making this.
Ok I’m bawling as I watch this. 😅 Thank you so much for this!!! This timing is impeccable. I’m with my 3 month old goldendoodle who literally peed 4 times within the last 10 minutes and lost my mind. I will definitely come back to this video again and again, so thank you!! ❤
Wish I could hug you! It really does get so much better ❤️
I've never heard anyone explain first time puppy parenting so well!! I got my first puppy in 2001 and I had these same feelings that your describing...fast forward to May of 2023, my husband and I got a havapoo and it had been a long time since I had a puppy. We already had a fur kid that is 10 years old and our routine was very consistent, and with our 10 year old everything has been easy. And just like you have said having an adult dog, you cannot and should not expect a puppy to be anywhere as calm and easy as a puppy. However, just to let everyone know that whatever anxious, regretful feelings you have right now, they will pass, it is temporary. This time around with our puppy I haven't had the blues, however, it has been something different to get used to, but I'm in my 50's now and you just don't stress as much at this point in your life as you might when your younger. Just remember, stay calm, stay peaceful, pray about it, and it will pass...I promise.
Yes!! I was so beyond exasperated with my second Havi, that one day, out of sheer desperation, I actually prayed to ask God to make me love this puppy. Next day, true story, I was entirely I love with this little dude. He’s 5 now, and first Havi is 6, and we’re all living happily ever after. :)
Oh wow…great advice. I had a Lhasa rescue puppy …he was about 3 months and when I got him and he was not very interactive at all…I did all the crating and he potty trained easily, but he paid no attention to me…I thought, “ omg.. he doesn’t like me and this will be an odd relationship. I was pretty distraught, but I kept trying. I was patient and just kind of accepted him that first couple months as he was. Well eventually I noticed him coming closer when I was sitting on the couch…within feet, but closer and closer until one day he wanted up on the couch. I was shocked. It was such moment. so I put him up and let him chill with his favorite toy at the other end he was about 5 months at this point. I tried not to be too excited or force the issue with excitement. Within another month he go closer and closer to me until he was on my lap and that’s where he preferred to be from that point on. He ended up being the best dog I could have ever asked for. Stubborn as an ox, but he was so loving and fun. What a little clown. Never give up on them…it may take months, but be there for them and they can learn to trust you. It took months . So glad I was patient and had the time to be able to be there with him all day. It paid off. That dog had an amazing soul.
Thank you so much for this video, I’m going through this right now. I love my puppy, but I’m struggling with feelings of isolation and struggling and anxiety and needing sleep and this made me feel so much less guilty and alone❤
You have no idea how much this has helped me, I’m week four into having a puppy and I live alone, I have no one to share the load with and it’s killing me, I know it’ll be worth it in the end but I’ve never felt this way. But this helped me so much, I’m currently doing exactly what you said, put her in her pen with food water puppy pads and toys and I’ve come upstairs for some alone time I thought she would have been screaming but a few whimpers and now she’s fine I can’t relax I’m watching her on the camera but at least I know I can do this now! Thank you so much you’ve no idea
This makes me so happy! Especially when you don’t have a helper, taking some time for yourself to recharge while your puppy is safely practicing some independence is awesome. I know it’s hard. You’re doing great!
Thank you so much for this honest video. I have been going through the same thing myself. First time dog owner never mind puppy! It’s so refreshing to see these videos and realise that it is completely normal to feel this way. Sick to death of watching romanticised first week puppy videos where everything is seemingly perfect 😏 this video will help so many! ❤
Yeeees, I had the same! I thought: am I the only one who is not in bliss with her puppy??? Everyone else is just having a blast and I fin every day so difficult and exhausting 😢. Luckily I had some very honest friends who told me about their first months with their puppies. That helped tremendously ❤
Incredible video- Amazing insights and your ability to relay what you experience is the best help I have found thus far on the reality of taking home any puppy. Thanks for the honesty we all need in life so we don't compare or judge ourselves so harshly. I am so WOWED!!!!
Thank you so much! ❤️
I don't know you but I wanted to thank you for this video. It was exactly what I needed, so honest, calm and caring. 'm getting my first puppy in two weeks and as a single girl who's prone to depression i am so scared of getting the puppy blues but this very helped me calm down. Thank you so much, so happy to see the bond you have with your dog. I can't wait to get my little girl 🥰
You’ve got this! Getting a puppy is a big life transition and most life transitions suck a little bit in the beginning 😂 it will be so worth it. Best of luck to you and your new girl!
Cryingggg! This is me right now with my puppy. I thought it was just me. I feel like a bad person not being able to handle my pup. I can’t eat, I keep throwing up. It’s been pretty bad. Thank you so much for this video. I have hope♥️🙏🏻
How are you feeling now? Did you come out of it? I'm having puppy blues and wondering if it gets better
@@SarahJohnson-sn3ugIt totally gets better! I feel so much better now. I’ve had him for 4 weeks now. I still get stressed from time to time because it’s hard to take care of a puppy but my blues is gone I’m able to eat again etc. 😊
Giving it a year, and taking it a day by day is good advice.
i love when you post!!! Always appreciate your content
I feel like youve made this video for me.. i also have been feeling major puppy blues with our havanese and your video is already making me feel better
Thanks for saying 4 months of blues! I'm on day 20 and my normal reaction is always, "why is it taking me so long to adjust to this situation?! I remember last time I raised a puppy, 20 years younger and with help I don't have now, saying to my husband at one point when he said he was inviting people over, "what part of 'I'm having a nervous breakdown' don't you understand!?" Hahaha.... that was likely months into it...
Thank you ❤
your channel has been such a big reason to calm some new puppy nerves, i get my havanese pup tomorrow and im super excited but very nervous. it’s so great to have your channel out here :’)
Good luck! You’ll never have a moments peace
@@sharonb3429 🥲he’s been such a good puppy so far but im so anxious all the time worrying for him
I have severe depression already and anxiety which is now so much worse. It’s improving a little bit. I have no help. I’m alone.
Hello my Dear, has it improved? I'm going through the same with my little rescue dog.😥
Im with you right now. Its tough!
we are out here
You are so no rest and realistic. Thank you for this post.
I never considered puppy blues as a thing until now. I'm considering a Havachon pup and glad I found this message to mentally prepare myself. Being open to possibilities and lack of sleep is what I'm planning on, but anything can happen. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
I am going through this now. I have a generalized anxiety disorder for which I take medication. In 2013, I adopted a 1 year old rescue dog who was my first dog. I didn't realize it at the time, but I got incredibly lucky: she was housetrained, had no destructive tendencies, and was great on the leash. She could be trusted to be alone in the house for many hours and never had an accident. She was quiet and sweet with everyone. She died about 6 weeks ago, and I just starting fostering a 12 week old puppy two days ago, and I am really missing my departed dog. The puppy doesn't do any of the things my Jojo did, and the puppy reminds me how lucky I got.
That sounds really hard. Puppy’s definitely don’t start out with all the wonderful features of an adult trained dog! It gets better ❤️
Thank you for sharing this experience…i so wish i had seen this video before i got mine.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us ! That’s really helpful to know that we are not alone in this situation ! Thank you for your advices !
I can’t stop crying since we brought our puppy home and I feel less guilty and less anxious because of you thanks ! 🙏
Thank you so much for this video. It’s been a struggle and your insight helped us not feel hopeless.
8 week German Shepard, 1 year daughter, wife and daughter poorly coughing all night… 1st week. Very stressed. This video helped. I just want to know my dog dreams I had WILL happen!!
Thanks! Three weeks into my puppy and OMG I'm a mess! Appreciate your comments. Finger's crossed.
This video is so precious! Thank you
Thanks so much for uploading this. I just got a Havanese and this is exactly what I needed to hear. :)
I’m getting a miniature schnauzer in November and I’m so glad I found your channel beforehand! I’m sure I will find helpful information here. Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you for this honest snapshot. Ive been debating for months if I should get a puppy, studied all different small breeds. I have an 8 year old chi mix male who is a dream. I had a Springer Spaniel female who was his companion for 7 years ( and was a big problem) but she died 6 months ago. So I thought to get my boy another companion. I dont want to do the whole puppy thing again, Im 65, alone, have depression and I dont really have the patience. But I was considering it. And almost got a 4 month chihuahua or a 5 month Cavalier king charles spaniel...
Your video here has convinced me, NO PUPPY. I’ll to be patient and wait for the right older dog from a shelter.
Thank you so much for this!!! I’m currently experiencing puppy blues w my second dog and I know it will get better with time and lots of patience. You give me hope. ❤
It takes time but it certainly is worth it! 🩷
Wow you’ve nailed this experience on the head!!! Thank you for sharing. “A problem shared is a problem halved”. Not I don’t feel so horrible about my experience!
Oh this was really helpful. We collect our puppy in a few weeks. I know it will be hard work, and I’m a bit nervous, it’s such a responsibility. Thanks for being realistic and honest.
Thank you for sharing. I've never had a dog. If I ever do have a dog, I'll be more prepared because of your video.
We got two havanese pups at 10 weeks old and they're brothers. For the first two weeks, I dont know what happened but every time I would be with them which was very often obviously, I got like an allergic reaction with tightness in my chest, and a light headed sensation. I was super depressed. I fell in love with these two guys day 1 and I was heartbroken. Really sad. So I got an m95 mask and decided whatever needed to be done, these dogs were staying. No matter what. Fortunately within about two weeks I'd be around them without the mask and I wasn't having any allergic problems. So I kept testing and sure enough the problem went away. I'm not sure if was the dogs, perhaps I had some illness but the problem ceased totally and everything is fine now. The pups got trained quickly and the only issue is they have separation anxiety when they're apart so I have to take them on separate walks so they het used to being apart. Great dogs. Absolutely love love love them.
Wonderful information! Thank you, very helpful!
Thank you for your video! As I feared before getting my Havanese, even if I knew what I was going into, I totally recognize myself in your experience, and it's only been two days since I had her... I knew she wouldn't be as I dreamed of, but I did not realize how violent the arrival of a puppy in your life can be. My first puppy was so easy to educate and live with from the beginning that I didn't realize that it could be otherwise...! I live in a flat and even if since yesterday I've been working on separation anxiety, Ulla still barks like Satan after a few minutes alone while all the neighboors can hear hear and I will have to go back to work in 3 days... Disapearing for more than 20minutes ! I feel terrible, useless, alone and anxious that I can't manage and bond with this dog with so much more qualities. Damn, I already saw your video before having Ulla, but now I'm rewatching it hoping my experience will get easier and better like yours did. It makes me feel a bit understood and gives some hope.
Give it a year, I say!! Those first days/weeks/months can be so challenging, and do not represent your whole future with your dog. And in the interim, if you have anyone you trust who can watch your puppy for a bit so you get a break, reach out to them! You’ve got this, the worst parts will pass.
Yesterday I got a puppy after the love of my life passed a few months back. I think my mom needed a dog as a companion more than I do. I'm still missing my pichi and the presence of a puppy is refreshing all my memories of him and i'm so overwhelmed I cannot stop crying. The weird thing that's making it worse is that their behaviours are very similar in a lot of aspects which is bittersweet but throwing me into an emotional doldrum. I had puppy blues when I first got pichi, but they got over in a few days and wasnt this intense.
It sounds like it’s more than just puppy blues - you’re still grieving your pup that passed. Let time do its work. I’m sorry for your loss ❤️
Wow, thank you for the video. Never heard of the puppy blues.
I went EXACTLY through the same thoughts!!!❤ thank you for this video. Nearly gave the dog away after the first three weeks. Now I could not be happier and we are a real packie 🥰
Honest opinions are the best! Thank you for sharing your experience :)
phew really good video! im having massive puppy blues! i have 8 week old shiba baby to looks after. really nice to know that im not alone!
OM G! I thought I was the only person who felt this way about my puppy Nova-Bella when I first brought her home! I LOVE animals! Dogs, cats, birds, horses, etc!! So…I thought I was a failure in not being able to take proper care of her and her needs. I was alone, so raising her by myself became more “work” than play at first….yet I LOVE her. and I wanted her to LOVE me. Your experiences have helped validate my feelings, questions, fears, (am I doing this right?) and you offer suggestions that have helped me so much in training and anxiety issues, that I thought I was suddenly not equipped to handle. I have had dogs my whole life….yet my little Havapoo was suddenly the most challenging puppy I ever remember having, Probably because it is her nature to WANT to be with me all the time. Learning how to train her to be more independent of me (without both she and I feeling bad), has helped so much! I hope you will continue to share your experiences and “trials and errors” with us…so we too can learn how to raise a happy, independent yet loving puppy/dog that will have the best life they can have with us. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I look forward to watching more and more of your videos! -Val
Thank you so much for these videos! Your whole channel is so wonderful! We just brought our Havanese puppy home a week ago and we’re going through major blizzard conditions and I feel the puppy blues starting because everything is overwhelming. I adore our puppy so much and am so anxious about everything being perfect and I worry that every little thing is going to end up being a permanent trauma (going outside is cold and icy and snowy! The kids are loud and restless! Etc.) Anyway, thank you so much for your videos!
Thank you so much! I don’t know the climate you’re in, but hopefully the blizzard winds down soon and there will be plenty of time left for positive associations with outside time! These are all things that your puppy will adjust to - they really are adaptable.
This was so helpful,Thank you it’s me and Sophie she’s 4 1/2 months our 4th day together so you can imagine what I’m going through,but she really is a lot of fun she already knows her name now we’re potting training😃🐾
You're very gracious toward parents and PPD at the beginning of this video, and it's true that bringing a puppy home isn't the same as bringing a baby home, BUT as someone who experienced PPD, I wanted to reassure you that what you described is very similar to new parenthood on an emotional level. I could have written your journal entry in my early days of parenthood almost word for word, just about my daughter instead of Pistachio. In fact, every single part of this video was very familiar. Even the part where you spoke about training is similar to when my daughter started to be able to speak and we could understand each other.
It seems like the common parenthood phrase "the days are long but the years are short" applies to puppies, too. ❤️
I am in the midst of going through the puppy blues right now and can relate to everything you are talking about. to make matters worse, i'm doing this all alone and work full time. it's just a lot
Any updates? did you got better? :(
Thank you for this. Getting our little dude on Friday and all of these thoughts have crossed my mind and I know it’s going to be hard and I’ll have to work through my impatience! But I love having a doggo. So I know it’ll all be worth it down the road.
I have a puppy for a week now and it’s been intense. The same thing: I had a dog and really wanted one and my husband never had a dog. I’m feeling overwhelmed and depressed and questioning my decision. I’m afraid that I did the wrong decision and we will have to take her back to the kennel. I don’t know when this will get any better. It’s a full time job to take care of her and I feel this is the only thing we talk about now. It’s really hard. Thanks for reading this with compassion and not judging.
That sounds like a really normal first week of having a puppy. The questioning yourself, the talking about the dog full time, the loss of freedom - all SO normal feelings, even for the first few months! You’re still finding your new normal and your puppy hasn’t grown up or adjusted yet. I felt just like you the first few months and now, 2 years later, my husband dotes on our puppy even more than I do and she is a natural family member who lives seamlessly in rhythm with us. That hard work you’re doing right now pays off. Time works wonders!
What a wonderful video this is! My puppy arrived a week and a bit ago and while my boyfriend has adjusted just fine I’ve been in meltdown mode. Your video has helped immensely more than the other articles and videos I’ve come across which, while validating, primarily focusing on the time cure: just get through it. Your advice was much more practical and I really appreciated the emphasis on doing whatever needs to be done for your mental health and quality of life.
My other half has been so helpful in trying to lighten my load, particularly in the night and early morning when my anxiety peaks. I felt keenly guilty accepting his offers of help until you reiterated that it is perfectly okay and necessary to ask for help-I have a desperately horrid resistance to asking for help.
And I never thought I’d be the sort to do such a thing, but I’ve purchased a puppy stroller (arrived tomorrow)! We live in a city so taking an unvaccinated pup onto the pavement is about as high risk as it gets and he’s a bit too big to put in a bag. I’m looking forward to having the stroller for walks to the vet and around the neighborhood so we can all get some fresh air to clear away the cobwebs. I selected one with a removable carrier to use as a car seat until he can be trusted to keep still.
Ours is a 10-week old half Bernese Mountain Dog, half Cavalier King Charles Spaniel-very goofy, very cute, and very mouthy! Enforced naps are a must as his self-regulation is nonexistent, but we’re fortunate he’s a good sleeper once he is out! He’s doing better not biting our hands, though now to work on chewing where he ought not to: carpets, furniture, clothes!
Thank you so much - it makes me so happy to know this helped you. Definitely let your partner help you - help from a support system is so so essential in any big life transition! You’re doing great and this is a normal struggle to have.
Bitter Apple- original formula only- no cheaper or off brand worked for my pup 30 years ago and our new pup now. I spray it liberally on everything, purposefully on shoes and put them where he can access those shoes. After the first bad taste of it he wants nothing to do with it. Naturally he never sees me spray anything. It has to be repeated every couple of hours but harms nothing though I would spray electronics. I have sprayed cords, laptops when closed, shoes, corners of home trim, furniture both hard and upholstered, bar stool legs, etc. Worked for both but you have to supply lots of semi hard, safe chew toys.
I'm loving your videos I get my little girl havanese tomorrow xmas eve she is 8 weeks .I'm so excited and nervous we have a 13 yr old maltipoo and she is our most concern lol Daisy is our new puppies name and I'm sure we will all be fine ..pray for us lol
This is so helpful. We are hoping to bring a Havanese puppy home in a few months and knowing that this could happen and how to help it is relieving! I do have two kids so I'm no stranger to sleep deprivation, but I've also never had a puppy before, so I have no idea what to expect for our household. I'm so glad to discover your channel and can't wait to watch more of your videos!
Thank you so much Laura! I’m glad this helps! Best of luck with your pup adventure and family ❤️
This was a great video! I had this feeling about 2 weeks with my little boy Silver. I say 2 weeks because I had to keep looking to the future and knowing it was going to be fine. I say that because I had puppy blues years ago when my husband and I got dogs each one we returned. I felt like a horrible person and only lasted a week to month with most of them. I did ALOT of research on the breed as well as dogs in general before I got my boy havanese who is a 1 yr and 4 months now. I refused to let the puppy stage get to me and enjoyed every moment. Some moments were tough and my husband like yours would help me out! Neither me nor my husband had dogs growing up so it was a learning curve for us both. When we decided to get a girl dog 4 months after getting my boy ( a havapoo sky, which havanese poodle mix is amazing, gem lol) interestingly I had puppy blues for a month wondering "Did I bite off more then I could chew"? But they got along and feel like brothers and sisters and I got out of the blues when I realized because I got them so close in age basically I only had to deal with the puppy stage once with them being babies together. Now my boy is 1 yr and 4 months and she is exactly 1 yr this month! The great memories you make outweigh the hard moments. I LOVED THIS VIDEO, THANK YOU!
I lost my daughter and best friend to cancer last month and to help fill the hole in my heart I have purchased a Havanese puppy that I will be picking up in October. I have had dogs and cats in my adult life for many years but I have never tried mandatory naps. At my age, I need my own naps (lol) so would like to know how often during your day did you require a nap? Also, what was the latest time of day did you stop them? PS - thank you for your channel content. I am enjoying it.
Wish I found your video earlier. Regrettably, I rehomed my puppy as the puppy blues hit me hard. The consolation is that I know I rehomed him to a loving family. Hope to have a puppy again in the future and will be more prepared for it. Thanks for your video.
I would recommend getting a dog up for rehoming thats past 2 yrs! You can def help separation anxiety of they get it
This is going to be a long comment... sorry...
I experienced puppy blues with my first dog Cholo. I am experiencing puppy blues again with my new dog Jody. But the reasons for my puppy blues are different for each dog.
For Cholo, it's the stress and guilt that I was not doing enough or I was not doing the right thing for him. Cholo was a very sickly puppy. I almost did not get to bring him home because he got sick the month I was supposed to get him. His previous owner (my tita/aunt) decided to let him recuperate first before giving him to me. When I got Cholo, he was 5 months old. He was well behaved. I did not get to experience the sleepless nights. He woke up at 330am (which was the same time I wake up --- I work 6am). The first few weeks was a breeze. He immediately got the potty training, did not whine in the crate, I did not have problems with him running away off leash. He stuck to me like glue. He was perfect (except for the peeing/pooping on the sofa when we're not looking, which started like around December 2021). What stressed me out was not his behavior but the fact that he was always getting sick despite the vaccines and supplements he was taking. He got Giardiasis July 2021, Kennel cough and bronchitis Nov 2021), This made me stressed, irritable, and i kelp blaming myself that I was not careful enough... But i got through it after seeing videos of other people going through the same thing as me.... Videos like yours helped a lot.
2022 was a quiet year. He only had occasional bouts of diarrhea when he ate something that does not agree with his tummy. He got Ehrlichia May 2023 (which was because his tick medication was delayed for a month) and we were told he was anemic..... When he got cured from Ehrlichia, we found out that he has Stage 3 CKD... This made the depression resurface again. He succumbed to Renal failure Jan 4 this year... Losing him was the hardest and i felt like i failed him... and the entire house definitely had a sort of like blanket of loneliness that covered me and my parents... I was still hurting, but I decided to get a new dog because I saw how sad my parents were like.
Fast forward, I got Jody, March 25. She was the sweetest little puppy. But unlike Cholo, her first week was completely different. She's a whiny dog, a land shark, very hyper and runs around the house letting me chase him, and destroyed Cholo's bed and toys on her first 2 weeks.... I understand that I need to be very hands on with her training, but i barely have enough time to myself because from the moment we wake up at 5AM, i am taking care of her. When I work, i have to periodically excuse myself every few hours, because she needs to go potty. By the time my work ends, she is already agitated and wants to go out for play date with my cousin's dog. When we return to the house, she then whines and whines until bed time... This coupled with her tendency to destroy all of Cholo's mementos and the new toys i bought her, makes me regret getting her. I love her. but I am always constantly tired and i hate to admit it but I kept comparing her to Cholo... I am also finding myself missing the time after Cholo died and I realized that I had a lot of time to myself.... This second puppy blues is harder than the first...
Puppies are so hard. It’s really easy to feel thrown off when a new puppy doesn’t remind you of everything you loved about an adult dog. Adult dogs just love us better - puppies are a bit more selfish and chaotic, haha. I hope time and setting up some routine with Jody makes it easier.
I'm going to be getting a havanese puppy soon. He'll be 8 weeks old.
I am really struggling with this and could use some helpful advice. My Boston Terrier puppy is a pretty good girl she's 4 months now but she has a horrible Witching Hour about 8:30 - 10 every night. She's zoomie and bitey and just uncontrollable. I have tried Lick mats but that only lasts about 10 minutes and then she's back to her feral self for about another 45 minutes. I have tried chew toys galore but they don't last long either. I have resorted to just crating her in the room with us and hoping that she will calm. Sometimes she does and sometimes I have to put her in the crate 2 more times before she calms. If she is sleep deprived it is SO MUCH worse. My issue is that I can't get her to nap in her crate unless she can see me. I tried moving the crate to another room during daytime nap times but she just screams and does not nap....so I'm not accomplishing the goal!! Any suggestions on how to get her to nap during the day to avoid this meltdown at night ? Should I gradually move her crate to another room ? As I do this she will not nap and then I have defeated the purpose. HELP !!! Her daytime crate is in the family room where we are ( kitchen, den etc) and that is where she is used to it being and she can see me when she naps but I can't get anything done other than sit on the sofa while she naps. She sleeps in the bed with us and has done so since day 1. She usually sleeps through the night. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated....
how long did it take for your pup o be fully potty trained?
About 10 months to be “100%”. By 6 months we were having the occasional accidents, but she those became once a week, to once a month, to fully gone.
Omg thank you for posting this!! This is so relatable. Our 10 month old Havanese has definitely given my wife and I the puppy blues. We love him so much but he stresses us out completely. We have a 10 year old senior doggo who is so easy and had an unrealistic expectation for a puppy. How do you handle all their energy? How did you teach her recall? Sometimes he ignores us…
10 months is still a puppy in my book! But things really do get better each month. I feel like even the difference between 10 months and 12 months was huge with Pistachio. For all that energy, try to set some basic energy-exerting goals for the day so you can feel like you’ve met their needs but also stuck to some boundaries for your own mental health. Maybe a couple puzzle toys throughout the day (a frozen kong can work their brains for a good long while), and 2 good playtimes or walks - something that leaves them panting heavily. Look into a flirt pole - perfect for intense play without much intensity on your own energy. I had to create play goals like that both for her own expectations (when do we play/when do we relax) and also for mine! It helped a lot.
I been waiting
Im 15 year old and my mom wasnt allowed me to get a puppy, but i convinced her and told her I'll be the one who responsible to clean her poo, and she finally agreeed, once i bring the puppy home my mom was like so happy and kept playing with the puppy lol 😭😂
But the first week Is so tough cuz the puppy slept with me and literally kept bitingg my hand cuz he wanted play with me but its in the midnight... And like im so tired... And also he would pee on my bed...
The first week i literally cried and regret my decision, and questioning myself do i really want a puppy... I was expecting a nice loving puppy but it turn out to be annoying puppy who kept biting my hand and pee on my bed... So i kinda regret it ngl, but at the same time im scared to tell my mom that cuz im pretty sure she would be hella mad cuz i wasnt listening to her before i got the puppy...
But anyway i didnt tell my mom that i regret it, and now its been a month since ive adopt the puppy, and im glad that everything does get better
I had this and still sometimes do are puppy is 7 months now
how did you crate train her? did she still keep up with the crate training after her 1st year of being with you guys?
We rewarded her every time she went into the crate on her own or we put her in there ourselves. We also left treats in there for her to discover as a special surprise, and gave all high reward things to her (like her daily dentastix) inside the crate. It's all about making the crate the coolest most amazing place to be for the pup! She is still crate trained today and goes into her crate on her own every night for sleep. She also goes there on her own when she's feeling scared or sick. It's her safe place :)
Poodles are very much like small children. Separation anxiety can be big for them even after adulthood.
Goes for the hybrids as well.
I’ve raised many pups and my Maltipoos were more of a challenge. It was tough in the beginning you need time to bond with her and they respond well to consistency training is a must
I’m glad you found your rhythm with her.
I’m 2 weeks in and all I can think of is how I need to get my puppy rehomed. I feel so terrible for this. How long should I wait until deciding to rehome her? 😔
My mentality was always “give it a year”, then re-evaluate. I was NOT having fun at 2 weeks either!
It’s a reason why some choose to adopt an older dog
How often did you put her down for naps?
It was probably 3 naps a day, about 2-3 hours each in the early puppyhood stage. Her last nap was usually shorter.
Hello @backtobreality
Love your channel, just started watching it. We are a family of four, have a wife and to girls 8 and 5 years old. We have never had a dog, but are planning on getting one. But after seeing this video and watching alot of videos on getting a puppy i get a bit afraid. Me and my wife are teachers and can not work from home like you do. Can we have a puppy? My oldest daughter are back from school 13:00, so the puppy will be alone from 08:00 - 13:00, five hours. Will this work? Should we get a cat sand box for the pup to use when we are at work?
Thanks so much. 5 hours alone will be just fine! I have a video on separation anxiety that I’d recommend you watch for some tips on how to make those 5 hours less stressful for your pup. It sounds doable to me :)
@@backtobreeality thank u so much 😊 The dog breeder is going to call any minute and we are so excited! And as I said, a bit afraid 😅❤️
❤
Well honey don’t stress .. wait till you have children hahahha this is a great start of you and I learning ! I just got a puppy and a one year old to look after .. it’s all about control our selves to stay strong and calm . Pups and kids needs that from us the most more then any thing .. strong and calm and understanding. Done ✔️ you can do it
My big depression is the potty traning…is being hard, i hope she become a dream dog
It is hard, but don’t give up! They do figure it out eventually!
@@backtobreealitythank you so much, best whishes for us ❤️
Hi, is your puppy fully potty trained now? It is so hard for me with my 5-month old baby Havanese
I iterally told myself yesterday that i'm not a dog person....