FBI is always watching

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  • Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
  • How else would they know you love grape juice and are on the hunt for a bidet? Huge thank you to Nord VPN for sponsoring todays video. Go to nordvpn.com/julie for a huge discount 🥳
    P.S. Sign up to my Patreon for behind the scenes bloopers and early access to videos here: / julienolke
    Actors: Julie Nolke
    Writer: Julie Nolke
    Camera: Sam Larson
    Editor: Alec McKay

КОМЕНТАРІ • 331

  • @peterg76yt
    @peterg76yt 2 місяці тому +637

    "I'm not a boat pirate" is exactly what a boat pirate would say.

    • @RS-pk4mp
      @RS-pk4mp 2 місяці тому +14

      "Allegedly . . . "

    • @M_Alexander
      @M_Alexander 2 місяці тому +8

      Are _you_ a boat pirate?

    • @shaytal100
      @shaytal100 2 місяці тому +9

      @@M_Alexander Yeah, how does peterg know what a boat pirate would or wouldn't say?

    • @peterg76yt
      @peterg76yt 2 місяці тому +6

      @@M_Alexander Are _you_ the FBI?

    • @M_Alexander
      @M_Alexander 2 місяці тому +6

      @@peterg76yt shaytal100 makes a good point. Do your buddies at the FBI know you're also a boat pirate!?

  • @trinaq
    @trinaq 2 місяці тому +275

    I love that you show two Julies in the same spot, your editing is absolutely flawless.

    • @HSkraekelig
      @HSkraekelig 2 місяці тому +23

      Same! it was seamless! Even the glances back and forth were exactly right.

    • @runrig97
      @runrig97 2 місяці тому +16

      It's probably Mirror Julie moonlighting.

    • @leinadcoelho
      @leinadcoelho 2 місяці тому +10

      Yeeeah..."editing"....riiiiight....

    • @cjc363636
      @cjc363636 2 місяці тому +10

      Editing.... Or secret Canadian clone research has started paying off!!!

    • @danielwilliams7562
      @danielwilliams7562 2 місяці тому

      Neil Breen needs her to be an advisor for his next movie

  • @madcow3417
    @madcow3417 2 місяці тому +253

    As a boat pirate, I find this clip offensive. All boat pirates know about that little piece of tape, the FBI could never catch us that way.

    • @HSkraekelig
      @HSkraekelig 2 місяці тому

      Perhaps that's true, but now you have exposed yourself and if you didn't use a VPN to make this post, they're going to find you!

    • @blindleader42
      @blindleader42 2 місяці тому +7

      Ah, but what do you really know about that tape? What alterations might the FBI have forced the manufacturer to do?

    • @madcow3417
      @madcow3417 2 місяці тому +20

      ​@@blindleader42 No way. I get my tape from a guy with a "not an FBI agent" shirt on. Shirts don't lie. Definitely safe.

    • @josephwalsh7546
      @josephwalsh7546 2 місяці тому +5

      Tape isn't the give away ( typical boat pirate mistake ! ) It's those big-ass parrots and peg legs !

    • @adamjones4606
      @adamjones4606 2 місяці тому +4

      ​@@josephwalsh7546 and the eye patch !

  • @ginogenero7972
    @ginogenero7972 2 місяці тому +146

    We no longer use the term boat pirate. We are "high sea redistribution persons." Avoid HR action by making this mandatory change please.

    • @aucarter
      @aucarter 2 місяці тому +5

      😂😂😂

    • @cleverb3507
      @cleverb3507 2 місяці тому +12

      Also acceptable is “partial vision and/or appendage challenged maritime asset redistribution specialist”

    • @ginogenero7972
      @ginogenero7972 2 місяці тому +5

      @@cleverb3507 🤣🤣 Best yet. If only you could work rum and a parrot in, I think you'd have it nailed.

    • @celticlass8573
      @celticlass8573 2 місяці тому +4

      "High seas alternate destination agents."

  • @PhilosophyOnTheNightbus
    @PhilosophyOnTheNightbus 2 місяці тому +322

    I live in constant fear of the day on which the FBI threatens me to publish my smartphone's calculator history... 😨

    • @captainpoppleton
      @captainpoppleton 2 місяці тому +30

      We know you've been typing 80085 a little too frequently.

    • @sleepysera
      @sleepysera 2 місяці тому +24

      Look, officer, it's not that I'm too stupid to do the math for 18+7 in my head, I'm only typing ridiculously easy equations into the calculator so I can be SURE the result is correct, because wouldn't it be even more embarrassing to be overconfident and get it wrong on an official document?? 🥲

    • @PhilosophyOnTheNightbus
      @PhilosophyOnTheNightbus 2 місяці тому +6

      @@captainpoppleton No... please... I'm not a boobs pirate... it was just for science 😅

    • @PhilosophyOnTheNightbus
      @PhilosophyOnTheNightbus 2 місяці тому +7

      @@sleepysera Well well well, so you expect us to believe that the reason for all those times you double-typed simple additions was just because the first result seemed to be slightly implausible?! 👮‍♀

    • @TKMcClone
      @TKMcClone 2 місяці тому +4

      Every once in while it's good to check that 2+2 still does equal 4 (people who cover their laptop cam will get that one)

  • @JonasHamill
    @JonasHamill 2 місяці тому +134

    I noticed the bit of tape covering my webcam was moved (presumably from a recent meeting) and replaced it over the camera about 5 minutes before this was uploaded. FBI Julie, are you watching me?

    • @JonasHamill
      @JonasHamill 2 місяці тому +35

      I promise I'm not a boat pirate

    • @julienolke
      @julienolke  2 місяці тому +40

      @@JonasHamill 😎

    • @johnassal5838
      @johnassal5838 2 місяці тому +3

      We all are

    • @jw8160
      @jw8160 2 місяці тому +1

      @@johnassal5838 shhhhh! Don't tell them. 🤫

    • @anderskronquist9750
      @anderskronquist9750 Місяць тому +1

      I mean... not anymore? But if you'd like to get rid of that tape, we'd appreciate it!

  • @louissivo9660
    @louissivo9660 2 місяці тому +32

    Thank you for not giving up in the early days of your career when you found it was not easy to find a job in the entertainment industry. So happy you took the chance to write your own skits and performing them here on UA-cam. You were such a wonderful find and I've been watching and laughing with you for years. Thank you.

    • @lastmanstanding2622
      @lastmanstanding2622 2 місяці тому +3

      You are correct.
      She is a Canadian treasure and an American Sweerheart. 💕

  • @rhaplord
    @rhaplord 2 місяці тому +58

    nice try Julie-FBI, i will not be taking off that paper covering 🤣

  • @FuzzyStripetail
    @FuzzyStripetail 2 місяці тому +71

    Nothing floats the FBI's boat pirate like not having the experience to spell "experience".

  • @johngardner1898
    @johngardner1898 2 місяці тому +32

    "I thought she was going to eat it." Thanks for making my day Julie.

  • @williams_57
    @williams_57 2 місяці тому +48

    Double Julie videos are always the best for some reason.

  • @--INDIGO--
    @--INDIGO-- 2 місяці тому +60

    Me who’s had my cam taped for years.
    Harr, harr harr 🏴‍☠️

    • @captainpoppleton
      @captainpoppleton 2 місяці тому +3

      We know. One day that tape will fall off.

    • @celticlass8573
      @celticlass8573 2 місяці тому +1

      Same, only mine's a Bandaid.

    • @artificus7316
      @artificus7316 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@captainpoppletonI used the cheapest rest of sticky paper 5 years ago and it refuses to fall off ...

  • @garyK.45ACP
    @garyK.45ACP 2 місяці тому +42

    If the FBI _isn't_ watching you, you aren't doing it right.

    • @lagomoof
      @lagomoof 2 місяці тому +9

      These days, everyone's on a list. Multiple lists even. Not sure how high you have to be to get assigned a webcam agent though.
      Julie must have used a cotton swab to clean her ears or something. Utterly heinous.

    • @josephwalsh7546
      @josephwalsh7546 2 місяці тому +1

      If even the FBI doesn't find you interesting it explains your lack of Tinder matches.

  • @IrocZIV
    @IrocZIV 2 місяці тому +17

    That's some quality work on the actor double/split screening, better than most TV shows.

  • @ice319
    @ice319 2 місяці тому +24

    I fully believe that this is exactly what happens in FBI field offices....
    I hope they didn't get freaked out by what I was watching last night. That was.. just curiosity.. 🙄

  • @blindleader42
    @blindleader42 2 місяці тому +22

    As an old school PC user, I've never had a web cam to worry about. All you smug, naive boat pirates know nothing. Ha! 😝

    • @celticlass8573
      @celticlass8573 2 місяці тому

      Wow my computer has a webcam and is from 2013. You must have a *really* old-school computer!

    • @blindleader42
      @blindleader42 2 місяці тому +2

      @@celticlass8573 Custom built mid-tower just a year and a half old. In 37 years I've never had a pre-built computer. I suppose if I ever want a laptop, I'll have to do some tape research.

  • @mrstoives2444
    @mrstoives2444 2 місяці тому +25

    I’m taping my camera up now📷😂

    • @julienolke
      @julienolke  2 місяці тому +11

      Top notch security

    • @HariSeldon913
      @HariSeldon913 2 місяці тому

      @@julienolke Will your sponsor mind that you gave the free solution before your ad for their solution? And I'm not sure coffee should be the definition of cheap these days. 😺😺

  • @robyn_southafrica
    @robyn_southafrica 2 місяці тому +25

    You know who I miss, the mirror alcoholic 😅😅
    Great video, boat pirates ☠️

    • @MR-MR-ud5oo
      @MR-MR-ud5oo 2 місяці тому +3

      After parenthood comes along, you gotta make hard choices about who your friends are.

    • @robyn_southafrica
      @robyn_southafrica 2 місяці тому +2

      @@MR-MR-ud5oo True, true 🍻

  • @Anujchauhanify
    @Anujchauhanify 2 місяці тому +5

    At this point Julie is basically HYDRA, just when you think you think Julie isn't here, there's 2 more Julies

    • @thing_under_the_stairs
      @thing_under_the_stairs 2 місяці тому +1

      You know she's got as many clones as Ryan George!

    • @josephwalsh7546
      @josephwalsh7546 2 місяці тому

      Agent Smith in Matrix.

    • @Anujchauhanify
      @Anujchauhanify 2 місяці тому +1

      @@thing_under_the_stairs Haha maybe even more we'll just have to wait and see!

    • @Anujchauhanify
      @Anujchauhanify 2 місяці тому +1

      @@josephwalsh7546 The best about being Julie, there are so many Julies.

  • @stephenobrien2676
    @stephenobrien2676 2 місяці тому +6

    I love your videos/humour so much that I even watch the promotion. Best wishes to you and your young family!

  • @nickmajora
    @nickmajora 2 місяці тому +2

    I thought there was only one Julie but the intro to this proves she has a twin. Keep up the good work Julie twins!

  • @robphoenix1182
    @robphoenix1182 2 місяці тому +3

    Part 2 is a must!! 😂😂😂
    Is Julia a boat pirate? Does she ever find out that little piece of tape? Who's watching the watcher that is watching? Hole far down the rabbit hole does the viewing go? How many people have to Google how to spell experience?! 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @michaelreifenstein2114
      @michaelreifenstein2114 2 місяці тому

      Turtles all the way down.

    • @robphoenix1182
      @robphoenix1182 2 місяці тому

      Oofff edit....
      Find that* not "find out that"....
      How* not "Hole"
      Someday, I hope to proofread before I hit send!! Lmao

  • @Dan-dg9pi
    @Dan-dg9pi 2 місяці тому +3

    Julie watching Julie watching Julie. I assume Julie #3 was working for Meta?!

  • @ADMusic1999
    @ADMusic1999 2 місяці тому +2

    Billions of dollars worth of equipment and years of rigorous training vs. a piece of tape. Tape wins, every time

  • @vhartson
    @vhartson 2 місяці тому +2

    Now I'm just thinking about the FBI man in my phone watching me watch this video about the FBI man in my phone 🤯

  • @adequatebus8280
    @adequatebus8280 2 місяці тому

    Think they know about the human-sized cage in the crawlspace? Surely they can't see down in the crawlspace.
    Don't call me Shirley.
    -C

  • @bcreativecarson5973
    @bcreativecarson5973 2 місяці тому +5

    FBI Julie is not a boat pirate, but she IS a bicycle pirate. Watch her VERY closely. 🚴‍♂️

  • @MarkCMG
    @MarkCMG 2 місяці тому +2

    Thanks for the video! I always enjoy your comedy and the FBI can verify that!

  • @MoistlyMoist
    @MoistlyMoist 2 місяці тому +5

    I'm not a boat pirate...
    ⛵ 🏴‍☠

    • @josephwalsh7546
      @josephwalsh7546 2 місяці тому

      " WE will be the judge of that " -- leaked inter agency memo: FBI to CIA to NSA to DHS to DEA

  • @luisvillarreal5262
    @luisvillarreal5262 2 місяці тому +1

    I feel like I’m being watched now. Now I’m paranoid. Thanks Julie. 😂

  • @jim6070
    @jim6070 2 місяці тому +2

    I am very amazed how much these three look alike. Coincidence? Seems like that right there is worthy of investigation.

    • @justineberlein5916
      @justineberlein5916 2 місяці тому

      I think she just uses the same cloning lab as Ryan George

  • @HealingInsideMyMind
    @HealingInsideMyMind 2 місяці тому

    Julie *Picks her nose*
    Me: “JULIE DON’T DO IT!” 😂🤣😂🤣

  • @MartinWastlund
    @MartinWastlund 2 місяці тому +1

    Probably the best advert-placement ever!

  • @Capohanf1
    @Capohanf1 2 місяці тому

    I did NOT know Canada WAS FBI TERRITORY!!!!!!! Do the Canadian agents were those funny, old timey, State Patrol like hats????

  • @mxg75
    @mxg75 2 місяці тому +4

    You wouldn't download a boat.

  • @Beefeater911
    @Beefeater911 2 місяці тому

    What’s better than Julie Nolke? 3 Julie Nolkes.

  • @BADCEEDSstudio
    @BADCEEDSstudio 2 місяці тому

    What if the FBI stood for Fantastic Bestowers of Insight ... "have you ever realized that the older you get, the more you value your time, the single most fleeting resource you can control in life? ... investigate that, eh?"

  • @WarrenPeaceOG
    @WarrenPeaceOG 2 місяці тому +2

    Blue tack. Roll it on, roll it off. Never loses its stick. Doesn't get glue on your lens. Blue tack.
    (Laptops best not apply. Desktop solution only)

  • @Borifra
    @Borifra 2 місяці тому +2

    Boat pirate 😊👏🏾

  • @tfpp1
    @tfpp1 2 місяці тому +3

    Got me second-guessing how to spell "experience" for like a minute.

  • @observer7098
    @observer7098 2 місяці тому

    “I am not a boat pirate”🤣🤣🤣

  • @The_Real_Mier
    @The_Real_Mier 2 місяці тому

    I’m actually pretty flamboyant about blocking my camera lens…
    No ordinary piece of tape here…🤨
    Ow no, no, no…..
    I…..SLIDE….. 🧐
    Meaning:
    I have a 20 cent costing, tiny plastic clip-like stick-on thingy that I can slide to either side of this thingy, thus covering and uncovering the lens….
    And I could even CHOOSE between black, blue or white when I ordered it…!! 💪
    Yeahhhhh…. I AM established!
    😂

  • @danielwilliams7562
    @danielwilliams7562 2 місяці тому

    Julie can always work as a technical advisor for people like Neil Breen is her acting career somehow defies odds and doesn't pan out

  • @donniehollingsworth1611
    @donniehollingsworth1611 2 місяці тому +3

    How is mirror Julie? Is she ok ?

  • @GermanShepherdEmmett
    @GermanShepherdEmmett 2 місяці тому +1

    I watched the ad at the end just because the bit was funny

  • @james.telfer
    @james.telfer 2 місяці тому

    It's not the FBI: it's the NSA's job to hoover up EVERYTHING you ever did online... 😎😎

  • @darkchild233
    @darkchild233 2 місяці тому

    "I thought she was gonna eat" 😂

  • @piusdoe8984
    @piusdoe8984 2 місяці тому

    Ngl I was also waiting for her to eat it 😂
    Anyway watching loads of people without their consent, I think Batman would approve 👌 😅

  • @mr.honeycomb
    @mr.honeycomb 2 місяці тому

    I sometimes misspell pilot as pirate. I often want to be the pilot of various movies.

  • @paulwartenberg8479
    @paulwartenberg8479 2 місяці тому

    I was hoping for a Scully cameo.

  • @wilgarcia1
    @wilgarcia1 2 місяці тому +2

    lol

  • @JackBWatkins
    @JackBWatkins 2 місяці тому +3

    Out of work actress on a web cam, great gig if you can get it.

  • @josephpatti2835
    @josephpatti2835 2 місяці тому

    Canada getting the FBI confused with the NSA. Still funny though.

  • @emekaoguguo5023
    @emekaoguguo5023 2 місяці тому

    I bet getting two Julie Nolkes on the same screen was super easy , barely an inconvenience
    Shit , wrong channel!

  • @TagiukGold
    @TagiukGold 2 місяці тому

    "Officer"? Those are agents.

  • @benjarsenault
    @benjarsenault 2 місяці тому +2

    Welcome to the NSA, what was your name again?
    Edward Snowden, sir

  • @feral_shade
    @feral_shade 2 місяці тому

    Great video...and I love the editing!! ...I swear, for a second, I thought Julie had a twin sister! 😅
    Tiny, tiny note....
    Remember the show, X-Files?
    (Agent Scully)
    (Agent Mulder)
    (Agent boring extras that no one cared about)
    ...it's not "officer" it's "agent" 😊

  • @thetruedemocraticnorth
    @thetruedemocraticnorth 2 місяці тому +1

    that's a funny piece of work.

  • @jorgecandeias
    @jorgecandeias 2 місяці тому +1

    Wait. The FBI has a youtube thing on the wall? It's a youtuber, the FBI? Wait, what?

  • @michaelwatson266
    @michaelwatson266 2 місяці тому +1

    Does having over a million subscribers on UA-cam make you a Superstar Julie??

  • @michelleb3096
    @michelleb3096 2 місяці тому +1

    There should be a public service announcement

  • @robert-yv2yj
    @robert-yv2yj 2 місяці тому

    Hilarious. There are still people who don't cover the camera, or are careful with their phone, or Alexa. But remember. The government, and companies would never track you. Love your videos.

  • @MarvelLio-u1s
    @MarvelLio-u1s 2 місяці тому

    I just engaged the privacy shutter on my webcam after watching this. I forgot after using the camera yesterday but this reminded me that it's actually kinda important in case somebody wonders if I'm a boat pirate.

  • @JoshuaBPino
    @JoshuaBPino 2 місяці тому +1

    No one will judge you. Stay healthy. You are amazing. And being gorgeous❤

  • @astr0nox
    @astr0nox 2 місяці тому

    Congrats on 1M subs!

  • @planeandsimplexplained
    @planeandsimplexplained 2 місяці тому

    Always use tape, especially when looking at certain website (might be blocked in VA, UT and LA)

  • @LMacNeill
    @LMacNeill 2 місяці тому

    I prefer a cut-off piece of a post-it note rather than a piece of tape. You can remove and replace the post-it note for Zoom meetings. 🙂

  • @scepteredisle
    @scepteredisle 2 місяці тому +1

    I feel like we should have found out she WAS a pirate of some sort

  • @hueypautonoman
    @hueypautonoman 2 місяці тому +4

    While a VPN might be useful for certain aspects of privacy, it won't stop the FBI from spying on you.

  • @smitrotti
    @smitrotti 2 місяці тому

    Missed you, Julie.

  • @mememefinally
    @mememefinally 2 місяці тому

    I didn't know FBI operates in Canada too

  • @aivanyadrov
    @aivanyadrov 2 місяці тому +1

    Genius!!!

  • @simond.455
    @simond.455 2 місяці тому

    I knew it! There are multiple Julies!
    That or FBI agents all look very similar. 🤔

  • @jonsmith1956
    @jonsmith1956 2 місяці тому

    Oh so Julie mastered cloning now, got it

  • @davidkeely43
    @davidkeely43 2 місяці тому

    Oh Julie - so old school. Laptops now come with a slide switch that covers the camera. Which almost no one uses. So . . . never mind.

  • @AlaskanNativeRedEagle
    @AlaskanNativeRedEagle 2 місяці тому

    Is it weird that I hope that someone like Julie is my FBI agent! 😂🤷🏽‍♂️

  • @q-tuber7034
    @q-tuber7034 2 місяці тому

    3:58 “I’ll see you next week.” Should I be worried?

  • @AnnaAnna-uc2ff
    @AnnaAnna-uc2ff 2 місяці тому +1

    I have tape on my tablet but not on my my laptop.
    What was I thinking?

  • @incredulousdisbelief9841
    @incredulousdisbelief9841 2 місяці тому

    Making the most of that blue jacket I see...

  • @dougsheldon5560
    @dougsheldon5560 2 місяці тому

    She should be watching politicians.

  • @danpalchak6916
    @danpalchak6916 2 місяці тому

    When the ‘political survey’ people robocall your cell, do yourself a favor, put the phone on speaker and play an ad from your YT feed. It’ll feel like winning regardless of if they stop calling or not.

  • @davidsharlot6794
    @davidsharlot6794 2 місяці тому

    They never do that on the CBS show, but I suppose truth is always stranger than fiction.

  • @davidadams421
    @davidadams421 2 місяці тому

    This is exactly what that Snowden fella was bangin' on about!

  • @celticlass8573
    @celticlass8573 2 місяці тому

    If the entire FBI is watching the few people who haven't covered up their webcams, that means that 99% of FBI agents are following each other. They had to hire Julie because the most recent hire (the one in the office next door) needs someone to watch them, but they can't know they're being watched, so a pre-recorded decoy video was played on Julie's screen instead of their webcam, during Julie's orientation.

  • @rogerj.fugere3570
    @rogerj.fugere3570 2 місяці тому

    With all this talk about boat pirates, I’m feeling personally attacked.

  • @FlatWorld_Jomhuri_Regime
    @FlatWorld_Jomhuri_Regime 2 місяці тому

    I was asked on FB what 4 words to tell someone before y'alls interaction with law enforcement... *"WE ARE BEING RECORDED"*

  • @jamielancaster01
    @jamielancaster01 2 місяці тому +1

    To be a ‘special agent’, you must have a law degree (J.D.)

    • @feral_shade
      @feral_shade 2 місяці тому

      ....except for US Army counterintel. ...I got Special Agent with a mere associates degree 😅

  • @swistedfilms
    @swistedfilms 2 місяці тому

    That reminds me, I need to purchase tape from Amazon. To help me with my boat pirating activities.

  • @vr0k3n
    @vr0k3n 2 місяці тому

    I mean... a few years ago Snowden did uncover the PRISM NSA project which spied on absolutely every single american through their phone's mic and camera, so yeah there's that

  • @Sicod79
    @Sicod79 2 місяці тому

    Officer? Agent! Special agent!

  • @CorentinHatte
    @CorentinHatte 2 місяці тому

    VPN don’t make your browsing private nor protect your data. They only reroute your traffic through different servers that you don’t control and which can also log everything you do (and will have to respond to police requests if asked). Don’t buy into it. Most streaming providers even detect if you’re using a VPN to access a different catalog…

  • @thomassmith6232
    @thomassmith6232 2 місяці тому +1

    When do we get to meet CIA Julie and NSA Julie?

  • @cjengland2365
    @cjengland2365 2 місяці тому

    Gotta watch those Canadians!

  • @AdamYJ
    @AdamYJ 2 місяці тому

    Is this what the warning at the beginning of VHS tapes was about?

  • @Lordofthenight33
    @Lordofthenight33 2 місяці тому

    And don't forget to use tape in the phone too, specially in the front camera 😊

  • @roboelectrooverlord6346
    @roboelectrooverlord6346 2 місяці тому +3

    Julie is a pirate

    • @julienolke
      @julienolke  2 місяці тому +3

      how did you know?! are you watching me?

    • @migmit
      @migmit 2 місяці тому

      Of course, all of us. Somebody uploads a lot of you on UA-cam.

  • @ChristopherB123
    @ChristopherB123 2 місяці тому

    "Why are our webcams covered...well... um... because they ARRRRRRRR"!

  • @ChartreuseDan
    @ChartreuseDan 2 місяці тому

    Nice to see JN is already involved in the new country of her citizenship

  • @JimAllen-Persona
    @JimAllen-Persona 2 місяці тому

    I like how her FBI desk has a YT plaque.

  • @lorrainethomas241
    @lorrainethomas241 2 місяці тому

    I'm a writer. I feel like I should fill out an affidavit before every Google search, just in case.